I've remarked several times that 40% of Japan's economy is based on pedophilia in some for or another. Now I'm proud to announce that some of that 40% is because of the ladies.

Japan has opened its first school boy cafe (much like the many, many, many maid cafes for lonely male nerds), for female nerds, according to this Reuters article:

In keeping with the schoolboy theme, waiters with manicured hands and soft voices pretend to be teenage students, chatting and flirting with well-dressed Japanese women playing the roles of benefactresses visiting the school.

And...

At Edelstein boarding school, the schoolboys wear lip-gloss, the headmistress has a weakness for homoerotic comic books, and there is only one subject: how to serve female visitors.

Congrats, women of Japan! It's been a long time coming.

Animation World managed to snag six screenshots from the upcoming Batman: Gotham Knight anime DVD, and I can actually steal those, so I'm going to put them here. Ready to have your mind blown?

It's Batman throwing Batarangs!

It's Batman shooting that zipline gun of his!

It's Batman performing Tai Chi in an alley!

It's Batman wearing some kind of armor, standing in front of an exploding nuclear reactor!

It's Batman on fire!

It's Batman incredibly angry at his H&R Block agent for misfiling his tax return! Or something.

Wow. Okay, first I have to apologize to all you American Idol perverts out there looking for detailed description of the two Idols playing with multiply pronged dildos, because this story doesn't have them. Instead, it's a reasonably tender story of love awakening between the the two singers, as they move from competitive envy to become best friends and something more, while dealing with family members, dead dogs, and the media. There's no scissoring, just soft kisses and cuddling.

Carrie took out the necklace, attempting to put it on herself.

"Need help?" Kelly laughed, walking behind her.

"Thanks," Carrie replied, holding her hair out of the way. She fingered the necklace carefully. It was a small white gold treble clef with a cross running vertically through it. The pendant was encrusted with diamonds, and it fell against her chest, sparkling beautifully.

"Seriously," she shook her head. "I can't accept this."

"You don't like it?" Kelly asked, worriedly.

"God no, Kell," Carrie said quickly. "It's beautiful, and it's perfect. It's just...my gift is no where near this good."

"I thought we agreed," Kelly smiled.

"Yea, but I knew you wouldn't be able to not get me something. Honestly, you can be too sweet for your own good sometimes."

"So, you'll take the gift?" Kelly asked, hopefully.

Carrie sighed. She couldn't say no to that face; besides, the necklace was gorgeous. "Of course, I'll take it."

Kelly glowed with happiness.

Or so I'm guessing, because I only read the first ten chapters of the 22 chapter epic romance, which I estimate totals a minimum of 25,000 words. Devoted to Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. Falling in love. You can read it here. And don't worry, gentle readers, as I promise to find some terrifying account of Jack Sparrow trimming Will Turner's mainmast next week.

Entertainment Weekly has—as far as I know, the first—exclusive footage of the Lego Indiana Jones video game, and they aren't allowing me to thoughtlessly post it here for your enjoyment. So you can see it here, or let me tell you that Lego Star Wars' picking up of Lego studs and two-character switching is still in tact, as the player could switch from whip-using Indy to another character, possibly Shia The Beef, who could dig. Obviously, there are no cool Force powers, but there are angry natives, angier crocodiles, and an emotionally distant giant boulder. Good stuff!

Remember how Haley Joel Osment was going to be a child actor in everything, but then he turned sort of weird looking so he stopped getting roles? Freddie Highmore has fulfulled Osment's prophecy. Even if you don't know him, you kind of do—Highmore's been in The Golden Compass, August Rush, Arthur and the Invisibles, A Good Year, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Finding Neverland, among others.

And now he's going to voice Astro Boy in the new, increasingly lower-quality Astro Boy CG movie, due in 2009. I'm not sure Highmore realizes that the only way t really get into the beloved character is to strip down and wear nothing but short shorts in the recording booth, but hopefully someone will take a picture, because that sounds sexy as hell.

I cannot believe how awesome this movie looks. It's kind of messed up.

By Jesse Thompson

It’s no secret that the key to the success of many episodic ‘80s TV series was the wheels. Whether it was series that were based entirely around a cool car (Knight Rider, The Dukes of Hazzard) or those that featured a vehicle prominently as eye candy (think Magnum’s Ferrari 308 GTS, the A-Team’s van and Sonny Crockett’s white Testarossa), a flashy ride was an easy way to hook viewers in the days when cable TV was just for rich people. Of course, the networks started to go bananas with the whole “car as a show” concept when choppers, cycles and at least one bizarre big rig entered the fray. Sadly, few of these shows even lasted a full season, and only a couple sputtered beyond those crucial first 22 episodes. So with Memory Lane a-callin’, we’ve gassed up the tanks of the 10 most kickass forgotten road-hogs. Grab your license and your favorite C-list celebrity, and we’re off!

In fact, he's totally freaking me out. He's very pink and his neck is all fucked up. I guess what I'm saying is if this weren't a new pic from The Incredible Hulk movie from Empire magazine, I'd stay the hell away from Edward Norton.

1) You're going to feel nerdier for just watching the above video.
2) You're going to want the Halo 3 laser tag weapons anyways, because they are awesome.

Thinkgeek has a full breakdown on the Plasma Pistol, Plasma Rifle and the Shield Generator (oh, it's true, it's true). Add in water balloon-plasma grenades and I'm sold American.

Celebrate Javier Bardem's Academy Award with this 24/7 Magnum shirt. Is Chigurh the friendo? Are you the friendo? I guess you'll just have to call it yourself, otherwise it wouldn't be fair. Buy it here.