By Rebecca Kelley
There are hundreds of hot actresses strolling around Hollywood nowadays, but how many of them have the acting chops to back up their looks? Not nearly as many. Topless Robot is not particularly proud to run through a list of ten hottest actresses who can't act to save their lives, but we're doing it anyways. Ogle their curves and sultry looks now, because it'll be a cold day in hell before you see them up at the Oscar podium.
10) Sophia Bush
Just squeaking into our list is Sophia Bush, Hot Girl Most Likely to Elicit a “Who?” from the audience. Since no dudes watch One Tree Hill, some of you may recognize Ms. Bush from god awful films like Stay Alive, the piece of shit “You die in the game, you die in real life!” movie costarring Frankie Muniz, and The Hitcher, a blink-and-you-missed-it horror remake featuring Boromir as a not-so-nice member of the carpool fellowship. Sophia's acting is pretty much on par with both films, which isn't saying much.
We've included the trailer to The Hitcher for your viewing pleasure:
9) Heather Graham
Sure, Heather Graham is perky and has big cans, and it's helped her get typecast. She plays a whore in virtually every movie she's been in (Boogie Nights, From Hell, Bowfinger), and in the movies where she isn't a whore, she's incredibly bad to the point where you wax nostalgic about all of the movies you can see her boobies in.
Case in point: this bullshit movie called Cake, where it appears that Heather is not playing a whore nor shows her Graham crackers. We apologize for subjecting you to this:
8) Brittany Murphy
We know, lately she's been veering from “hot” to “crack whore-esque,” but still, many would argue that she's sexy. Her acting, however, is not. She contributed absolutely nothing to Sin City and killed our brain cells in Just Married and Don't Say a Word. The nail in the coffin? Uptown Girls. How dare you force us to endure ninety minutes of both your bad acting and Dakota Fanning? Brittany Murphy, you are an asshole.
7) Sienna Miller
Sienna Miller should have an asterisk next to her name that says “The hot chick that Jude Law boned,” because that's really her only claim to fame. Let's see, she was “the hot chick that Jude Law boned” in Alfie, “the hot chick that Daniel Craig boned” in Layer Cake, and “the hot chick that Heath Ledger boned” in Casanova. Way to stretch your range, Sienna!
Her main “I'm more than just that hot girl Jude Law boned, damnit!” attempt was starring in Factory Girl, but that movie was regarded by movie critics as a fart in the wind. Here's a boring clip of Sienna Miller essentially acting like herself in '60s gear:
6) Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan's chest size is inversely proportionate to her acting range: the bigger her tits got, the shittier an actress she became. Cute, tolerable schlock like The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday dissolved to double-D bras and cringe-inducing cinema like Georgia Rule and I Know Who Killed Me. Rumor has it that she's desperate to get cast as Alice in Tim Burton's trippy envisioning of Alice in Wonderland. We'd raise a stink about what a horrible casting choice this would be, but we're pretty sure that Tim Burton knows better.
Bask in Lindsay's monotone and “I work the breakfast shift at a strip club” dancing in this trailer for I Know Who Killed Me:
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