Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Funawari Milk-Chan
Please don’t confuse this with the surreal and hyper-annoying anime Super Milk-chan. Funawari Milk-chan is a series of plush character who, as you might have noticed, are all breasts. They have nipples at the top of their heads. They’re soft and adorable, just like regular breasts. As Japan Sugoi says, each breast has its own distinct personality:
Funwari Milk-chan is easygoing, Milk-san is a celebrity entertainer, Ganguro Milk-chan is a gyaru, Peach Milk-chan is a fashion follower and Milko-chan is baby genius.
Let me repeat that, in case you missed. JAPAN HAS MADE A PLUSH BREAST THAT IS ALSO A CELEBRITY ENTERTAINER. Each plush breast costs about $10, and you can see their site here. If I was a chick, I’d definitely buy one of these, then hit Mardi Gras or those sleazy clubs where guys scream “Show me your tits!” Then I’d whip one of these bad boys out. In related news, I’d be a very odd girl.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.