Michael Bay Is a Genius, Part II
Posted at 3:59 PM Jun 26, 2008
This just in! Rainn Wilson will star as Shia the Beef's astronomy teacher in Transformers 2, who's named—and I'm not making this up—Professor Colon. Isn't that funny? Isn't that fucking hilarious?! Because colons are used to poop, and no one likes nerdy science teachers! Ha! Ha ha! Oh Michael Bay, no wonder people regard you as a competent filmmaker! Why, who could even think of such a magnificent joke, other than possibly a misbehaving kindergartner? There's more of a spoiler bout the classroom scene over at The Movie Blog, but I'm too busy clutching my sides in hysterical laughter to go check it out! If my laughter sounds a lot like sobbing, pay it no mind!
Comments
there is NO way this film is gonna be as terrible as it's predecessor...
oh wait, yes it will.
Posted 06/26/2008 at 01:40:16 PMI also heard there is going to be a character called Principal Sphincter.
Posted 06/26/2008 at 01:53:46 PMCould you explain "Shia the Beef" please? You always use that and I can't for the life of me figure out why.
Posted 06/26/2008 at 02:34:08 PMZac said:
Could you explain "Shia the Beef" please? You always use that and I can't for the life of me figure out why.
I second that! Love the site, but I'm lost on that joke.
Posted 06/26/2008 at 03:14:33 PMAh, Spanish students. You thought you were so smart learning a language that half of our country would eventually speak, didn't you? Well, if you'd taken French, you'd know that LaBoeuf is French for "the beef". La premiere lecon, c'est fin!
Posted 06/26/2008 at 03:33:22 PMI got this one.
LaBeouf = French for 'the beef'.
Also of note: Shia = Hebrew for 'Praise God'.
So his name is, basically, 'Praise God for the beef'.
Posted 06/26/2008 at 03:39:19 PMI know people like to dump on Michael Bay but wouldnt the writers (Kruger and Kurtzman)of the Transformers 2 script have chosen the name "Colon" and not the director?
Posted 06/27/2008 at 04:39:11 AMYou'd think that, wouldn't you? Except while the writer's strike was on, Bay went ahead and wrote his own draft of the script, or at least the outline. I'm willing to bet that the name was his idea, since he also "wrote" the "Bumblebee peeing on John Turturro" scene in the first one. (Orci and Kurtzman disavow any involvement.) Also, he's the director, which means he can change any goofy-ass name he wants to.
Posted 06/27/2008 at 04:55:49 AMIf it wasn't such a blatant marketing ploy, then maybe...but...ugh.
Posted 06/27/2008 at 01:23:53 PMHowever, your continuous habit of referring to Shia LaBouef as Shia the Beef is about 16 kinds of awesome for reasons I do not understand...XD
While the first movie wasn't Robo MacBeth or anything, I still had a fun time at the theatre watching it. And yes I would have liked a tighter design on the bots, but it's still the movie I waited 20 years to see.
And I expect this one to be better.
Here's why:
Now that Paramount was able to build their own Scrooge McDuck gold vaults from the money made by the last film, they're giving ILM a blank check by way of Bay to create more hot bot on bot action. Which means leass squishy humans and more giant fucking robots.
If they're smart they'll toss in some of the Hasbro redesigns (since they get final say supposedly) and go old school on the paint jobs at some point and tighten up the robo forms.
But seeing as I just might see a live action film with Jetfire and Soundwave I'm holding out with a glimmer of hope.
Posted 06/27/2008 at 07:35:08 PM