Well, Smurf Me in the Smurf
Posted at 12:10 PM Jun 11, 2008
Two sentences I had hoped never to hear or read, from this Variety article announcing a new Smurfs movie:
"
We're very excited to introduce a new generation to Papa Smurf, Smurfette and the other smurftastic Smurfs in all of their 'three-apple-tall' glory," [said] Columbia co-president Doug Belgrad.
If you didn't throw up in your mouth at that sentence, congratulations, you're a robot. But here's the worse news:
"Smurfs" marks SPA's first hybrid film -- a subgenre that proved popular given the success of 20th Century Fox's "Alvin and the Chipmunks."
Yes, the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie has spawned, and thus has wrought more terrible, further reaching consequences than anyone ever dreamed of. If you need me, I'll be finding out how much I need to drink to have the courage to commit suicide.
Comments
At last they are adressing the three apple conundrum.
Smurgs are 3 apples high. I've seen Gargamel hold half a dozen smurfs in his hand. That's 18 apples! Those mushroom huts are like 3 feet tall, the cat is a %#@*ing mountain Lion and Gargamel could dunk on Shaq weilding verne troyer like a b-ball.
Posted 06/11/2008 at 09:50:40 AMEither that, or the original text references some weird variety of Belgian apple that is smaller than a Frenchman's testicle.
Posted 06/11/2008 at 10:00:40 AMImpossible. Nothing is smaller than a Frenchman's testicles.
Posted 06/11/2008 at 04:39:22 PMDearest, dear God-- NOT CGI smurfs, surely?
Posted 06/11/2008 at 06:29:37 PM