Mo' Clone Wars Footage, Mo' Troubles

Posted at 4:03 PM Jul 08, 2008


Things I hate about this new clip from The Clone Wars cartoon, about the Clonetroopers:

• The Clonetrooper doing his jiujitsu moves in the middle of a firefight. You already have people that would do this kind of ludicrous, impractical moves during a battle, and they're called Jedi. Clonetroopers are soldiers. Please relearn your own setting.

• The Clone Pilot saying "I can't shake him!" Yes, you fuckheads, you've made another reference to the original trilogy. But you've long since passed the point where you're not making references, you are just unable to write new dialog. Do you have a bad feeling about this? Yeah, me too. Fuckheads.

• The director's explanation that the Jedi are having a positive influence on the clones, and thus making them dye their hair and give themselves profoundly stupid mohawks. First off, that's dumb. Second of all, the Jedi wear big brown robes and force their apprentices to have rat-tails—they know less about fashion than anyone else in the galaxy. Third, this is dangerously close to having the Jedi teach the Clonetroopers how to love. Fourth, why not just have the troopers want to express their own individuality, which would primarily be through their hair? Why does it have to be the Jedi? I could stand the ridiculous hairstyles if it had been their own thing, and I probably would have thought it was (marginally) cool.

• The director wearing that fedora to the interview. You're not Indiana Jones, dickweed—you're a cartoon director. And you're inside. Stop being an ass.

Comments

frank said:

well said.

i'd like to add my own gripe, why is everything so dirty?
i buy battle damage, thats cool, but it goes too far with everyone.

Kevin said:

I still think the animation for this is terrible. The mouths don't even synch with the voices very well.

Rex? We named the dog Rex.

Ironlightsaber said:

It seems to be the thing to just piss on anything that has Star Wars in the title. I'm not impressed with everything I see in the clips but I think this cartoon looks to be well crafted and very detailed and has more going for it than against it.

It seems to be set in the most action pack part of the entire series. Has some great art and will be able to fill in the gaps that the movie and first cartoon didn't cover.

Instead of hating it without actually seeing it I think I will actually watch the hour and half movie before passing judgment on it instead of saying that it completely sucks from just a few clips.

Ironlightsaber said:

It seems to be the thing to just piss on anything that has Star Wars in the title. I'm not impressed with everything I see in the clips but I think this cartoon looks to be well crafted and very detailed and has more going for it than against it.

It seems to be set in the most action pack part of the entire series. Has some great art and will be able to fill in the gaps that the movie and first cartoon didn't cover.

Instead of hating it without actually seeing it I think I will actually watch the hour and half movie before passing judgment on it instead of saying that it completely sucks from just a few clips.

MyNoNos said:

Not only are they just recycling old dialogue, most of that footage is just already CGI'd footage from the films cartooned up.
Fuckheads! (LOL)

PS Ironlightsaber- you are 100% correct, and while we hate, we will all see it. Lucas is to blame though. If he hadn't fucked up so bad with the prequels we (the interweb community of unified nerds) would be more optimistic.

superoceanlad said:

Hmm, Jedi teaching the clones how to love? I'm pretty sure that will be the fan fiction for Friday.

Patrick said:

I look at it like this, so long as it's not anywhere near as bad as Episode One, I'll be happy with it. In fact, if I end up liking it at all I'm going to do my best to purge my memory of Episode One entirely and re-order the films as follows:

Episode 2 will now forever be referred to as Episode 1

The Clone Wars movie will forever be referred to as Episode 2.

Episode 3 will keep its place, and I'll still skip past that stupid Balcony scene every time I watch it.

Then, I'll go burn my Episode One disc and never refer to it or think of it ever again.

Zach said:

Ironlightsaber -

Your name makes no sense. Therefore I am ignoring you.

badNflu3nce said:

The main gripe for me is that the character movements seem to be a little...unhuman? Does anyone know if they used motion capture like BeoWulf or Appleseed or just animated it on the fly?

and also, I can see how giving them different hair and faces will help us to tell them apart, but what about when they are on the battlefield and they all have their helmets on? How are we supposed to care about them when we cannot see their faces? One war movie that did a good job of it was Black Hawk Down, where they put everyone's names on their helmets, somethinge they didn't do here.

Leigh said:

Who was he trying to convince there? us or himself? "no really.. you'll care about identical clones because there all different and totally irreplaceable"

... no they are clones... and no we don't care.

RaZZo said:

First of all, the "briliant" concept that the clones are really individuals were are supposed to care about, and that when they die "it matters"--- doesn't this fly in the face of the entire narrative structure of the saga so far?

I mean, am I now supposed to retroactively feel BAD for all the Stormtroopers I cheered for Luke and Han crushing, killing and evaporating?

Oh,
I think they should encourage the Jedi to express their individuality with no less than 7 pieces of Personal Flair on their

RaZZo said:

First of all, the "brilliant" concept that the clones are really individuals were are supposed to care about, and that when they die "it matters"--- doesn't this fly in the face of the entire narrative structure of the saga so far?

I mean, am I now supposed to retroactively feel BAD for all the Stormtroopers I cheered for Luke and Han crushing, killing and evaporating?

Oh,
I think they should encourage the Jedi to express their individuality with no less than 7 pieces of Personal Flair on their

cKHAVIKk said:

quit double-posting, you pieces of repeating shit!!!

Caporegime said:

The whole make the clones individuals is a load of crock. The clones all share the same genetic code, and experienced the exact same childhoods, training to be the ideal soldiers. There is no "nature vs nurture" debate because their natures and nurtures were almost, if not exactly the same. What's next making the battledroids individuals, too?

Zach said:

Maybe their attempts to differentiate themselves are purely for practical reasons, like telling eachother apart. Or maybe the Jedi secretly laugh at the disposable cannon fodder's attempts to have "lives."

Was Jango the last Mandalorian? Because if the story had broken down a different way, it would have been cool to see some of the older, more experienced clones take this shit too far, ultimately deciding to go AWOL and customize their armor to become the New Mandalorians.

Friginator said:

I'm sick of all this bashing just for the sake of bashing, or because you think these people have stolen your childhood or something. This isn't critiquing. It's just nitpicking. You're all out of Jar-Jar Binks jokes so now you can just say, "Nah, that's stupid!" I understand that you're tired of not knowing what George Lucas was thinking, and feeling betrayed. You grew up with the original trilogy, I grew up with the prequels and they're not all that bad other than the aforementioned Jar-Jar Binks and C-3P0's jokes in Episode II.

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