Yeah, you wish. Hell, I wish. But despite my salacious headline, the fact of the matter is that Denver is actually hosting the World's Science Fiction Convention, and to celebrate, local club de strip Shotgun Willie's decided to host a "sci-fi" for all the lonely nerds in town—and TR's theoretical homebase Denver Westword captured the event for posterity. It's a great read, but three caveats: First off, there are no pictures of naked ladies (so sorry); two, the girls actually just came out with things like plastic ray guns, which were tossed almost immediately (along with their tops). Third, you might be shocked to discover that these strippers were not particularly up on their science fiction movies. However! This is a great idea whose time has come. If you're a TR-reading strip club owner, I highly suggest you start this—but let's have some actual Leia and Seven of Nine costumes, all right? I think most nerds would happily dip into their action figure fund for such an event.

And speaking of sexy nerdiness, little sis Heartless Doll has a swell article on How Rock Band Can Get You Laid. Check it out and tell 'em I sent you.