Diane Von Furstenberg Isn’t Helping Wonder Woman

Topless Robot has already pointed out the rather large challenges facing Wonder Woman on a daily basis. So you’d think that fashion maven and potential mummy Diane Furstenberg’s new line of Wonder Woman-inspired fashions would help DC’s?hell, the world’s?premiere superheroine. You’d be wrong, of course, but mostly because of the Wonder Woman comic von Furstenberg’s going to release alongside the clothes. From WWD:

With ?Be the Wonder Woman You Can Be, Featuring the Adventures of Diva, Viva & Fifa,? the new comic book she authored, she doesn?t just turn herself into a bonafide superheroine, but offers inspiring tales about women and the life-empowering choices they face ? all with illustrations by artist Konstantin Kakanias.
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?I always wanted to have these three characters Diva, Viva and Fifa, as in DVF, and we came up with the concept,? she said. ?I called Konstantin, my artist friend, and asked him, ?Would you like to do it?? And now it exists.?

Yes, “Diva,” “Viva” and “Fifa.” If you think the names are worst part, I’m delighted to say you couldn’t be more wrong. Because this trio is “empowered!”

The key is that the three heroines ? all of whom are wearing DVF clothes ? make things happen. Diva, for instance, finds herself in a downtown bar to celebrate a male colleague?s successful leveraged buyout and his pending promotion. It turns out, however, that Diva was the brains behind the project. She looks at a reflective surface and sees a DVF, which emboldens her to ?Be the Wonder Woman you can be.? Diva makes the point the lbo was her idea, and lands a promotion.

Viva, meanwhile, accompanies her older brothers to a music gig. Feeling intimidated to stay in the van, the reflection of DVF encourages her to get up on stage to sing. She ends up with a record deal.

Finally, mother-of-three Fifa receives news she is a finalist for a Gourmet Cooking award. Juggling the responsibilities of running a home, she is unsure that she can attend the ceremony, but DVF empowers her to get a babysitter and she wins the trophy.

I’d like to run that by you one more time.

DVF empowers her to get a babysitter

Sure you got it? Once more:

DVF empowers her to get a babysitter

All in all, Wonder Woman clearly has worse problems that flying an invisible jet which is totally incongruous with her Amazonian origins. When asked for a quote, Wonder Woman simply cried like a girl. (Via Newsarama)