Dungeon Master
Not personally, of course. Because we all know that Dungeon Masters only interpret the lives of others, which is why they're often dicks. (Amirite?) Still, for all that this poor PC has trouble impressing his blind date, he can at least thank Mystra, the Neutral Good goddess of magic, that he's not an astronaut. Those guys have some real problems.

Nothing. No jokes about Hot Toys selling their souls to Satan or being aliens which toy sculpting technology infinitely more advanced than anything we have on Earth. Just look at this new Dark Knight Joker figure -- the first in their Movie Masterpiece Deluxe line -- and be awed with me. I don't know that I can even articulate how it looks more realistic than their already terrifyingly realistic first Joker figure, but it does. And look at all the shit it comes with:


But that's not even the really scary part. Look back up at the first picture, then look at this one:


Notice anything? Like, maybe, how the eyes are looking in different directions?

Hot Toys is proud to announce our brand new product line - MMS DX (Movie Masterpiece Deluxe), featuring a newly developed technique on the eyes of our collectible - Parallel Eyeball Rolling System (PERS) with Colored Translucent Iris. ... PERS is a brand new technique applies to Hot Toys MMSDX figurines, special features include:
• Unique designed eyeballs with colored translucent Iris
• Simultaneous Positionable Eyeball Function
• Works in all direction, as natural as human eyes

...yeah. so basically, Hot Toys has made an action figure than can look at you no matter where you are.

Forget about Skynet. Hot Toys is where the robot uprising begins. But at least we'll get some sweet-ass toys out of it along the way to our eventual extinction. (Via Action-Figure)

Not to be left out of the burgeoning nerd odor market, Star Wars has seen fit to release its own perfume. Right now, Le Parfum Des Jedi is only available in France (and comes with the cheapest kids' watch I've ever goddamn seen) but does have a vaguely lightsaber-shaped bottle. But it does beg the question: what exactly does a Jedi smell like? I await your brilliance in the comments.(Via StarWars.com)

Today is my birthday. I say that not to beg for birthday greetings -- although I'd be down with a few -- but because today's DVD Day offerings are so lame that my birthday actually might genuinely be more interesting to you. I'm not too concerned, personally, because I believe my copy of Venture Bros. Season 3 and my long-awaited copy of Fallout 3 are arriving today as a birthday treat. Hope you guys are similarly occupied.

• The Real Ghostbusters Vol. 1
The one real gem of the week, a 4-DVD set of the cartoon for those who didn't pony up for that massive firehouse box set. Contains 30 episodes and 3 hours of extras.

• The IT Crowd: Complete Season One
One of those hilarious British sitcoms about six people in America watch.

• Pokémon: Giratina and the Sky Warrior
The new movie, which features both Giratina and the Sky Warrior. I know, I couldn't believe it either.

• One Piece: Season One, Fourth Voyage
Okay, this contains the end of the best One Piece storyarc of the entire series (that I've seen), the Arlong saga. I swear I'm done pimping this series now, because only even less people are buying it than watching The IT Crowd.

• Cthulhu
As we discussed, this is an H.P. Lovecraft movie which actually stars Tori Spelling, and yet has not totally been despised by horror fans. Unsettling!

I thought we discussed this, Star Trek movie. You said there was going to be an Orion Slave girl in you. Orion Slave Girls look like this:

We all approved. When saw that the Orion Slave Girl was going to be played by Diora Baird -- Diora Baird who looks like this, by the way --


-- we approved much, much more (we approved many times that day, if I recall). So please explain to us why the sexy Diora Baird in her role as the sexy Orion Slave Girl looks like this?


You can't, can you? For shame, Star Trek movie. For shame. (Via FilmDrunk)

As prophesied back in mid-February, Marvel's online toymation thing "What The?!" has launched, complete with words from TR contributors Sean Collins and Jon Gutierrez, and terrifyingly good animation from Alex Kropinak. Like, so good it's kind of scary, Thank god he's decided to use them them to tell ridiculous tales of a de-powered Iceman hosting a late-night talk show while a jealous Beast tries to sabotage him instead of, you know... evil. Or something. Stop asking so many questions and just watch.

Andy Hallett, better known as the demon Lorne from the series Angel, died Sunday night of heart failure at the way too young age of 33. Hallett had been hospitalized for heart problems several times over the last five years, but still, this is unexpected and horrible. Hallett's Lorne was a fantastic part of Angel, and almost single-handedly kept the show from becoming the the most depressing genre series on TV on many an occasion. And he was a hell of a singer, too. (Via E! Online)

By Sean T. Collins

If there's one thing we nerds like more than multi-disc special edition DVDs and girls who dress like She-Ra for Halloween (well, I did say "if"), it would have to be sequels. For geeks, there simply can't be too much of a good thing... at least until the third movie ruins everything, but then there's the reboot to look forward to, am I right? Point is, we've already kicked the crap out of 11 terrible songs from geeky movies, then sang the praises of 11 terrific ones. But there's a lot of nerdy films out there, and a lot of kick-ass music in 'em, so we've dug back into the bin to pull out 11 more head-banging, booty-shaking, fist-pumping classics from our favorite flicks. Hey, if they can make two Hobbit movies, we can do this!

College Humor takes Twilight's angsty vampire romance to its logical conclusion, which is of course anal sex. It includes some NS4W language -- mainly the word "buttsex" repeated several dozen times -- so... sorry about your job. This shit's funny as hell.