This is a bit old, but I found it for the first time last week when hunting for videos for that "Respectable Actors Playing Terrible Villains" Daily List that went over so well. (clearly, I and the other TR writers love the Conan movies, but I still think James Earl Jones has too much innate dignity to have any business playing an evil sorcerer who can turn into a snake). At any rate, apparently Arnold and Conan director John Milius made a commentary track for the Conan DVD, in which they are obviously high as fucking kites. And possibly insane. Some enterprising soul made this highlight reel of the commentary track, and there is no finer way to end your day. Enjoy.

Topless Robot is hardly the 24-hour nerd cake newscenter that Great White Snark is, but when someone sends me a cake, I don't ignore it. Especially when the cake is based on a rather large miniature from Warhammer 40,000. Skinnytie made this amazing Necron Monolith cake for his gal pal StillwaterBalm's birthday. The miracle, of course, is not his incredible baking/icing skills, but that he knows a girl who actively wanted a Warhammer 40,000 cake at all -- it's kind of like finding out unicorns exist. See more pics of the cake in all his evil Necron glory here.

Adult Swim has started its own clothing line called Finer Things, and it's shockingly understated. My favorite is the Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Metalocalypse Murderface socks two-pack for $15, seen above, but make sure to check out the Err and Ignignokt "Weekbender" pants ($75 each), which are hilariously preppy, and the Robot Chicken hoodie ($50), which Adult Swim was kind enough to send me in hopes of me pimping their products, never realizing that I hate the Robot Chicken guys because I used to work with them and am bitterly jealous of their success. Check out all the wares here.

Thing I did not know:  J.J. Abrams', director of the upcoming Star Trek reboot and producer on Lost, has the film rights to Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I bring this up because Abrams just told IGN that he's going to get to work on The Dark Tower  with buddy Damon Lindelof after Lost ends.

Okay. Despite Stephen King's movie track record, I feel pretty confident that Abrams could make Dark Tower work for mass audiences in general. However, Lindelof once said they were hoping to make it a seven picture series, but there's no way Paramount or any studio will agree to a seven picture deal for anything nowadays. So the question is, would you guys rather have Dark Tower crammed into maybe three movies? Or, and this is what I'm thinking, maybe as a TV series? Look, ABC will need something after Lost, and I think based on its success, ABC would be willing to plan for a finite, seven-season series especially given Abrams and the property. And I can see a lot of Lost fans jumping on board for the same reasons. Am I crazy? What do you guys think? (Via Unreality)

• Skip this paragraph if you don't want to know about X-Men Origins: Wolverine's two after-the-credits "endings,"but since that would require you to intend to go to different theaters in hopes of randomly catching both scenes, I imagine you're fine with a mere SPOILER WARNING: io9 reports that one involves Stryker getting reprimanded for his evil ways, and an amnesiac Wolverine in a bar in Japan. You'll like the second one -- apparently (and this might not be true, so please don't shit your pants) involves Wade Wilson, played by Ryan Reynolds, scouring the wreckage of the nuclear plant from the end of the film and finding the severed head of he bald/scarred/mouth-sewn-shut Deadpool/Weapon XI. Looks like the bitching worked! I think all you Deadpool fans will happily take a non-scarred Deadpool over a scarred one with swords coming out of his forearms. Also, I'd bet you anything that had the film not been leaked and Fox wasn't desperate to get nerds in theaters, they would never have made this save.

• Hugh Jackman wants to do a Wolverine sequel, all about his crazy Japanese adventures as Patch. I'd be down with that. (Via Comic Book Movie)


• And last but not least, here's a sneal peek at one of the behind-the-scenes videos that will be included on the inevitable DVD release. Thanks to Easily Dissolved for the tip.

Yeah, it's yet another Batman: Arkham Asylum video, and not even another villain spotlight. However, I justify running it to myself because either that's Killer Croc running around or a very large mutant with a seriously unfortunate skin condition; plus, I just can't get enough of all the attack-specific counters Batman pulls off in the game. Watch, and you'll see what I mean as Bats grabs kicking legs, rolls on the ground, and takes away lead pipes from thugs, in true Jackie Chan style. He also body slams a few guys, because they had it coming. The only thing he doesn't do is have a good quip ready when Bane shows up. Thanks to stalwart TR reader Arsenal for the tip.

By Shaun Clayton

I feel bad for the decreased amount of posts I'm doing this week -- darn my arm and the Cincinnati supervillain who fractured it!) so here's not one but two zany videos to keep you occupied for the evening. The first: Twilight, if the role of Bella was played by a cheeseburger. In all honestly, it's not that different.


And here is Adam West being sad and pitiful.

Thanks to all of you who sent these in. Enjoy, and I'll see you kids tomorrow.

I am delighted to the core of my being to introduce you to Shatnerquake, a novel by Jeff Burk. Ignore the imperfect Shatner art on the cover, and please read this plot summary:

It's the first ShatnerCon with William Shatner as the guest of honor!  But after a failed terrorist attack by Campbellians, a crazy terrorist cult that worships Bruce Campbell, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world.  Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner.

FUCK AND YES. I can't even describe how awesome I think the triple-Shatner tagline is. You can order the book here for $10.

First thought: Oh dear.
Second thought: Shadowhare? Fucking really?
Third thought: It's nerds like this that make me want to pack up my toys and videogames and get some kind of a construction job. (Via Robot 6)