...should we give Aquaman from the Superfriends amnesty, too? Otherwise, I think he's going to sweep the voting.

The spoony bard. 'nuff said.

Marvin of the Superfriends. Not only was he a total bumbling idiot, but he lacked superpowers of any kind and the only purpose he served was to get captured or knocked out by the villain of the episodes.

I watched Superfriends as a kid it was always a disappointment when it showed wendy and Marvin instead of the Wonder Twins.

Wendy was at least intelligent and a little hot, and the Wonder Dog, for all his bumbling foolishness was at least smart for a dog, and could theoretically be useful, but Marvin would be useless in any situation. Try to name a situation that he wouldn't completely fail at. I dare you to try since it's utterly impossible!

I've recently begun to theorize that Marvin was a make-a-wish kid dying of some sort of chemical deficiency in his brain because that's the only way to explain how such an imbicile could make it onto the team. It would also explain his somewhat freakish appearance come to think of it...

Counselor Troi. The walking mood-stone who amazingly could sense that people who were shooting at the Enterprise were angry at them. "He's hiding something, Captain." every week.

Well, to continue in the He-Man genre, there's always Adora's Etheria. That little troll dude at the end of every episode or so, summing up the 'moral' of the story, and he did that "Did you find me?" segment. The dude's job was to hide in the show, only so you could shout out "yes!" or "no, because you look like a gay trollop in Troll-Land."

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3053/2717929975_bc7aa6c9f6_o.jpg
that guy!!
Rainbow Brite's gay estranged brother.

Other than that,
Shaggy, in the Scooby-Doo gang
OH! And another name I'm drawing a blank on is this girl in the DC Universe (I know... I know. I'm truly a Marvel girl, honest!) that turns to diamond... but only when she stands still.
So someone else, that could lift a 100-lb girl could use her as a bat.

At least turn to diamond and still have basic motor function!

Sorry, remembered her name. It was Kole or something like that. The dude that used her as a weapon was G'narrk.

I have to go with one of my favorite video games ever, Shining Force. The Genesis SRPG has 29 awesome, unique, and powerful characters on your team, ranging from Centaur archers to Robotic Armadillos to a Magical Flying Squid. But the creators wanted a team of 30, so they added Jogurt.

Jogurt is a hamster-thing. Wearing a football helmet. I guess that's cool. But his stats are what make him a true monster.

All his stats are 1. Attack? 1. Defense? 1. Movement? 1. HP? 1. So he is basically the most useless character, not just in the game, but in...everything.

And the best part, if you somehow do manage to kill an enemy with him, you get a Jogurt Ring, which turns any character into a hamster-thing with a football helmet.

My entry may be somewhat outside the rules, but...

Everyone from Scooby-Doo.

That's right, EVERYONE. From every series and every version of the story.

Perhaps the Scooby-Doo mythos just goes completely over my head, but I will never be able to understand how such a terrible, worthless show became an indelible part of American culture. All I know is that I hate them all. There are no redeeming facets to any Scooby-Doo character. I would rather have red-hot switchblades shoved under each of my fingernails while being forced to listen to an entire year's worth of FFFs being read by a nude Bobcat Goldthwait in a sewer while orcs violated my sphincter than endure one more moronic second of the sixties' most utterly useless cartoon characters.

To sum up:
FUCK SCOOBY.
FUCK SHAGGY.
FUCK FREDDY.
FUCK DAPHNE.
FUCK VELMA.
FUCK DUSTY.
FUCK YABBA.
FUCK FLIM-FLAM.
FUCK THE MONSTERS.
FUCK THE GUEST STARS.
FUCK HANNAH-BARBERA.
FUCK CASEY KASEM.
And especially fuck the most repulsive, useless character out of 40 years worth of useless characters: Scrappy-Doo.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have anger issues.

Hands down, the weakest link is Quick-Kick from G.I. Joe. Don't get me wrong, everyone loves a karate guy...but who the fuck goes on a mission to Antarctica wearing only a bandolier and pajama pants?! Not to mention the fact that QK is perpetually doomed to wait in car while Duke treats the rest of the gang to Red Lobster. Sorry Quick-Kick. No Shirt, no shoes...

I'm going to get here before anyone else does---most useless person ever---or weakest link? How about f*ing Aquaman from the old Superfriends show. And yes, other people will throw him into the fire, and rightfully so. He was useless. Totally. Utterly. Useless. By far the weakest link in any crew or group. I mean, seriously, Superman who could fly back in time. Green Lantern with his power ring. Batman who with no actual superpowers could figure out riddles, fight bad guys and do incredible things. Wonderwoman who bitch slapped people with a lasso. Etc., And then there was Aquaman who just sucked. The only thing he was good at was getting caught, and used as bait for the other Super Friends to go save. I could just see dialogue unfolding at the Leage of Justice:

Batman shouts: "Dammit, Superman, you wont at Poker again." As Wonderwoman crawls out from underneath the sheets. *beep*beep*beep* "Hello SuperFriends" - Says Manta (or whatever Aquaman's sperm like archnemisis was named) "I caught Aquaman with my diabolical rock trap---you might say that he's in 'hot water'" (muwahahaha). "Fuckin' A" -Says Superman---"Do we have to?" -- Says Wonderwman "Let him die" - Chimes in Batman---"Or at least can we go after one more game of hide the batamarang?"

Anyway, the Super Friends would have to ramp up, stop saving the world from real threats, and go rescue the mentally challenged Aquaman from his own stupidity.

I hate Aquaman so much. And I know everyone else does too--so the creativity is lacking here, and for that I apologize. I also know that he was completely lambasted on South Park as being called "seaman" (ha).

So minus 10000 points on me for choosing the obvious, but that's just because he sucks that much. Can anyone name one instance in the SuperFriends show when Aquaman was useful? I bet even Glick would even lay a can of smack down on him with his large blue wang.

There is no other answer than Hawkman, on Challenge of the Superfriends. On a team with Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Batman, and Flash, Hawkman's only power was that he could fly. And not even very well. However, one my question this decision, considering the team also had Aquaman. But here's the thing: Aquaman's power to order fish around is absolutely useless in all but the most idiotic of scenarios (of course, given it was animated by Hanna-Barbera in 1978 and under strict censorship, this show had no shortage of idiotic scenarios. But even Aquaman's power, utterly useless as it is, is unique. Where as the Superfriends all ready have Green Lantern and goddamn SUPERMAN. So when the Superfriends need someone to fly after the villainous Legion of Doom, who are they going to choose? The guy who can fly at light speed and shoot lasers out of his eyes, or the guy with a helmet and wings? And even if everyone else is taken out, what the fuck can Hawkman do? He can't fly fast at all, and doesn't even have a kickass electrical mace to throw like Hawkgirl did in the kickass Justice League series. And once again, the Legion of Doom and their flying Darth Vader head headquarters will escape, all because of sucky-ass Hawkman.
I'M NOT EVEN FREAKING DONE!
So picture this: Lex Luthor stands alone in a ruined arena,as the Superfriends have taken all but him down in a battle that has left all of the Legion and all of the Superfriends incapacitated in
censor-approved fashion. Only Luthor remains...and Hawkman. As Luthor desperatly tries to find an escape route, is mind suddenly figures out that the man standing in front of him has absolutely nothing on him. So Luthor charges towards Hawkman, and Hawkman's thinking "Oh shit, it's goddamn Lex Luthor and he's going to fucking kill me. Why am I even here? I'm just a guy with some wings! What am I going to do, fly at him? I can't even run that fast because of these goddamn wings! SHITSHITSHITSH-" and then luthor kicks him in the ribs with his kickass boots, and Hawkman falls to ground, unconscious. Luthor then gets all his comrades out of the arena, and then he presses a button that launches the arena into the Sun or some shit. Then when Hawkman wakes up everyone yells at him for being a fuck-up right before they all die.
And that, my fellow nerds, is why Hawkman is...the weakest link.
Goodbye

Cypher from the New Mutants.

i always thought the weakest link of a team was the sorceress from motu for one her power never worked away from Grey skull and also Orko should get a vote for he was totaly useless and and a pain

The weakest weak link of them all has got to be Doug Ramsey, aka "Cypher", of the New Mutants. (I'm going to quote liberally from his Wikipedia entry to make the case).

"Cypher was a mutant who possessed a superhuman intuitive facility for translating languages, whether written or spoken, human or alien. This ability also extended to deciphering codes and computer languages. Cypher was an expert in translating and design of computer software. He took university level courses in languages and computer science."

"...his power was entirely harmless (being both mental and passive)..."

"Doug became a member of the New Mutants after the arrival of the techno-organic alien Warlock...With Doug's pre-inclination for technology, and being more readily able to understand Warlock than most others, the two of them became fast friends...Whereas Warlock referred to his teammates with the prefix 'selfriend'...Warlock gave Doug the unique identifier of 'Selfsoulfriend'."

"Doug was a teenage friend of Kitty Pryde...They hit it off when they discovered a shared interest in video games, computers and computer technology."

However...

"Though he flirted with Kitty Pryde and may indeed have loved her, it was not reciprocated (Kitty had just broken up with Colossus and was sort of on the rebound) but they remained close friends."

"He was involved in the rescue of Betsy Braddock...[which] causes a deep emotional bond between the two. Due to their differing ages, naturally both Douglas and Betsy feel awkward. After Betsy is safe and sound, she ponders the situation; "Douglas is watching. My 'guardian angel'. How much he cares..more then he realizes. How much I care...in return."

"Later, Doug starts a relationship with teammate Rahne Sinclair, Wolfsbane, which lasted until his death. They traveled to an island controlled by the Ani-Mator, a minion of Cameron Hodge. Facing defeat, the villain pulled a gun. Doug died while saving Rahne Sinclair's life."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cypher_(comics)

So let's review: Cypher was an Advanced Placement geek in foreign languages and computer programming.

His talents were purely cognitive in nature and useless in a fight.

He related better to a computer than any other human being.

He had a mad crush on his cute lab partner whom he couldn't get to be anything more than "just friends". He then had an age-inappropriate emotional fling with an older, mentally unstable woman (you could almost say he wanted to be "Benjamin Braddock" to Betsy Braddock). And when he finally did get a real girlfriend, he wound up dying the kind of martyr-ific death every awkward dweeb with an unrequited crush fantasizes about having simply to prove the level of commitment he's swims in his the melodramatic theater of his mind.

Maybe the whole point of putting Doug in the New Mutants was to create a character that the powers-that-be figured the average somewhat asocial comic book dweeb could relate to. Well, Peter Parker is a nerd, too, but then he puts on his Spider-Man mask, he turns awesome for a brief while. He climbs walls, lifts cars, etc. You forget about nerd for a while. On the other hand, Doug Ramsey was such a thorough nerd that even the act of putting on a superhero costume and manifesting a superpower couldn't conceal the staggering levels of nebbishness he represented.

Doug "Cypher" Ramsey, you were the weakest link in the homo superior gene chain. Goodbye.

OK, this needs a girly geek's touch.

Spike, the baby dinosaur from My Little Ponies. I mean, even in D&D, a baby dinosaur can be a formidable opponent.
The Bushwoolies were also pretty useless in a land fueled by magic. All they did was roll across the landscape en mass, and spoke in unison in almost incomprehensible babble, as they seemed to not understand basic English.

I'm gonna have to go with Yajarobe from DBZ.
(Though, Hercule might have been even weaker than him.)

Oh hell, I meant baby dragon. I seem to have dinos on the brain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTly5y0-ZRs

Before anyone else says it: JAR JAR BINKS! The bane of the Star Wars saga. Laugh as he says things in a foreign accent. Laugh as he trips over. NOT!

Jubilee from the X-Men. They saved her from the mall and all of a sudden she's one of the gang. Her powers never did anything cool and she just tags along with Wolverine to look tough. She didn't even get an action figure till the Generation X toys came out. Overall useless.

We all know Snarf, the bearded, loveable... cat-lizard(?) from Thundercats. He is by far the weakest link to have on any team, anywhere.

He has no fighting skill or powers of any kind, unless you count whining as a power. Sure, he does the cooking and the laundry around the cats lair, but you know who else does that?
A maid, and no maid sure as hell gets to be on a team of super mutant cats.

However, the reason for me saying Snarf is the weakest link of all time, is an episode of Thundercats in wich Lion-O left the team, and then saw visions of his team members in various situations of peril, I don't remember why, drugs were possibly involved in some way.
These visions included Snarf, however, where the other team members faced monsters and such, the vision of Snarf showed him caught on a clothesline.

A freaking clothesline...

There was no evil mutants or anything who hung him there either, he just sort of got his tail hooked on it while doing laundry and was dragged out by the cat lairs automated clothesline, where it (of course) malfunctioned, leaving Snarf dangling hundreds of feet above ground.

Listen, if your only job on the team is to cook and clean, and you not only fail at one of these tasks, but by doing so you end up in a life or death-situation, you are by defintion the weakest link in the long history of weak links.

Snarf, snarf indeed...

Heart from Captain Planet. I know that it is old hat to pick on Heart. Kinda like picking on Aquaman (who I feel is under rated). But, let's look at the Captain Planet intro.

Kwame causes a stone spire to erupt from the ground and incapacitate the villain's vehicle. Wheeler MELTS THE PAVEMENT and the bad guy's car sinks into a hole of molten hot pavement. Linka summons a whirlwind that ties up the bad guys in their own garbage. Gi creates a maelstrom that pursues the bad guy and inundates him.

While Ma-ti? Oh Ma-ti... Ma-ti is stuck in a forest fire. That's his power. To be a dumb-ass.

I'm going to have to be controversial and go with Captain James Tiberius Kirk.

Really. Think about it.

Spock was smarter, stronger, and knew more about the ship's systems, scoiology, history, and the universe in general. He spoke at least two languages.

Scotty was an expert in transporter technology, ship engineering, physics, and anything computerized or mechanical.

McCoy was a world-class surgeon, diagnostic expert, and field medic. He personally saved everyone's life at least once, each on separate occasions.

Sulu was an extremely skilled helmsman, but also a master of several martial arts and weapon styles. He spoke at least two languages.

Uhura spoke several languages, was an expert in communications technology, and a skilled analytical linguist.

Chekov was extremely well-versed in weapons systems, and was equally skilled with personal weaponry and security tactics.

And Kirk? He relied on all of them for everything. He couldn't get out of a logical puzzle without Spock's help. He couldn't get out of an engineering problem without Scotty. He never showed even the slightest interest or skill with ship's weapon systems. He could barely field dress a phaser wound. He was inept with communication unless he had Uhura or a universal translator and someone to help him operate it.

On top of his lack of skills, he was impulsive, brash, rude, lecherous, chauvinistic, racist, violent, and vindictive. He was a megalomaniac. He *shouldn't* have been a good leader, but somehow the rest of his crew propped him up and made him look a lot better than he really was. His sole redeeming feature was that he had little respect for rules and managed to get lucky when breaking them.

I imagine the bridge crew of Enterprise had plenty of discussions about how they were going to fix Kirk's screw-ups, or cover up his rules breaches. They probably cursed going to work each day because they knew it was another cycle of him running his mouth off to some alien, then turning to each of the crew members and asking "how do we fix this?" when things blew up in his face, followed by Kirk taking credit for the crew's ideas.

Oh, sure, he was a good gambler; He could bluff an alien like nobody's business, but when he DID screw it all up due to his brashness and overconfidence, it was up to Spock, McCoy, Scott, Uhura, Chekov, or Sulu to make things right again *on Kirk's behalf.*

If you put Kirk in ANY ONE of their jobs on Enterprise, he'd be lousy at them. He'd be a terrible communications officer. A dangerous helmsman. A piss-poor and clueless science officer. A useless engineer. He'd even be a failure as a security chief, and probably end up court marshaled for sexually harassing female crew members.

Kirk was the weak link. If you took him off the bridge of Enterprise, the ship would function as well as it ever did, and it would probably get in fewer battles.

Kirk almost lost a battle of wits with Harry Mudd.

Nah, lay off Cypher. He was fully aware he was useless in a firefight (Close to a direct quote: "Yeah, I can say 'We surrender' in 20 languages! Big fat hairy deal!") and his attempts to overcome it made him not only a much more interesting character than most of the other New Mutants but frankly more useful than, say, Cannonball, who at that time plowed straight into walls on a regular basis due to his inability to grasp the concept of "turn".

Argumentative asides...aside, I'm going to second Troi, if only for the fact that her job should not have existed in the first place. Bridge Personnel: Captain, First Officer, Science Officer, Security Officer, and just in case any of the above are having difficulties with their interpersonal relationships -- Counselor. Honestly, did any other ship in the fleet get saddled with such an obvious phony payroll position? Who was Luxwana Troi fucking that she could demand a sinecure like that for her daughter...okay, "everybody", she WAS Luxwana. But still.

Ma-ti from Captain Planet. Need a refresher?

The guy who could melt your face off with fire? No.
The dude who could drop a mountain on your ass? No.
The chick who could drown you in a tsunami? No.
Or even the chick who could Wizard of Oz a house on you? No.

Ma-ti was the chud with a ring of heart and a pet fucking monkey. "HMMM, this wildfire is out of control!" Cap says, "Maybe I'll dump water on it. Or I could make a vaccuum and put it out. I'll smother it with dirt perhaps. WAIT!!! I KNOW!!! I'LL THROW THIS USELESS FUCKING MONKEY AT IT!!" I don't know if any of you have ever hurled a monkey into a raging inferno to put it out, but it does not work out as planned my friends...

Damn!! Tanner got in first while I was typing...

ZeroCorpse: Welcome to the Armed Forces!

Upon reading the post I instantly thought of "The Mighty Heroes" from the late 60's. At first I was thinking of Diaperman, but upon remembering the cartoon even further, I have to go with Cuckoo Man. He was a bird shop owner who dawned his costume by jumping through a cuckoo clock and could only fly by constantly flapping his arms. That show was too funny; but hey, I was just a kid.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060007/

Old Dungeons and Dragons Cartoon: Presto.

And I pick on him primarily because he was even less useful than the show's dual-scrappy-doos, Bobby and Uni.

He should have pulled something out of that hat to kill Bobby and take his club. Then bash uni's head in and have a BBQ.

Uni, from the "Dungeons and Dragons" TV Cartoon from the 80's.

You got this awesome team of outcast teen rejects living their fantasy as incredible warriors, where everyone had his own unique ability like... earthquakes, pure energy arrows, force fields and even freaking invisibility, and then you have Uni, the Unicorn, who's main power was to stand ground on every opportunity the kids had to return home.

One step away from freedom and then for the 1000th time, the team realise that Uni can't go to their own world, so Uni have to stay, so it will probably die because Uni is so fragile, so... oops, the portal is closed, back to fantasy land again.

Sometimes Uni could get caught by evil monsters, adding some plot to the series but I doubt that "plot adding" is canon.

Raptor (G.I.Joe) who is Cobra's falconer. He has a pet falcon...which I guess he calls, Falcon. He wears a bird-head helmet and face paint around his eyes, and wears a wing cape which enables him to fly. Not only does this costume make him look like Iggy Pop in bird drag (https://www.gijoehq.com/catalog/images/RAPTOR%201987%20C-9%20COMPLETE.JPG), but he gave up a good paying job as a tax consultant so he could "intimidate even the bravest opponents". *snicker*

We all know he secretly cries himself to sleep every night in a sock drawer.

I'm going to have to go with Sven from the Voltron team. Don't rememer Sven? That's ok, no one does, and that's why he sucks.

Sven was the original pilot of the Blue Lion, but he got severely injured really early on in the series and the team had to find a replacement real quick. Not really having any other options, they chose the Princess and she would go on to pilot the Blue Lion from that point on.

However, Sven eventually recovers from his wounds, but then gets captured, eventually meets one of the Princess' relatives in prison, escapes with her and manages to make is back home safely.

Upon his return, Keith askes Sven if he wants to take his place back as a part of the Voltron team and the idiot declines. Instead, he wants to spend all of his time with his new girlfriend that he met in prison.

So this guy just turned down the opportunity to pilot a kickass robot lion, fight giant monsters, defend his homeland and be a hero, and probably get more action from groupis than most rock stars will ever hope to have. And he gave it all up to spend his time hanging around a palace, being lazy, and chilling with his girlfriend.

What a douche.

Toad from Super Mario Brothers 2

I mean did anyone every play as him?

Anyone?

We have Mario, the superstar of the series, a good well rounded char. Then there's Luigi who could jump the highest and my personal favorite Peach who could hover. That just leaves Toad. What is Toad's kick ass special power.... he ran kinda sorta faster than the other chars.

Now faster running that would have been very nice in a FPS, or a strategy game, but in a game that is a side scrolling platformer, running faster just means your more likely to run off the platform before you jump, or your going to jump too early and fall short. So in reality his special power in the game is to die a lot easier than the rest of the other chars.

If that wasn't bad enough... what is a mushroom man doing picking up other vegetables from the ground to throw at bad guys? Lets not forget also about eating of his own kind to gain an extra life.

So in the end you end up with a cannibalistic mushroom man whos power is to make it easier to kill yourself... to me a weak link in any game...

claire bennet heroes
OO her tits are a big help to the ratings, but you figure this out. She is invincible. Ill repeat
i n v i n c i b l e. Yet she needs saving every other week.

All she had to do was not let skylar not get her power and guess what, she fucked that up too. Ando did not have any powers until recently and he has been way more useful.

Warren Keffer from Babylon 5

Who is that tool, you might rightfully be asking? In Babylon 5's second season, WB strong-armed JMS into adding this character to the series. As a response, he shows up in a few episodes, acts like a jack-ass, and gets killed off in the season finale to help advance the plot.

Additionally, it was either Toad or Luigi for me in SMB 2. Toad was always great for returning boss attacks. Except in world 4-3 where you play as the Princess and skip the entire damn level.

...

Why the hell do I still remember that crap?

I'm gonna have to go with paco from jackie chan adventures J-team. despite jade actually causing all major problems for the main characters, she was still at least somewhat useful in actually fixing the messes she made and was usually not completely useless in a fight, especially when using the talismans/various other magic. paco's sole job was to cheer them all on. he was such a useless waste of space that he couldn't even properly accomplish this due to his massivve fanboyism for el toro fuerte. anytime anybody but el toro fuerte did something he was convinced that el toto fuerte could have done it a million times better and told everybody that. whenever anybody correctly told him anything to the contrary he would get all pissy and argue with them.

this is all compounded by the fact that el toro fuerte was more or less the most useless member of the J team. lets look at who the J team consisted of shall we?
Jackie Chan -martial arts extraordinaire
Uncle - master wizard
captain black -highly trained government agent
viper -a female lupin III
tohru -apprentice wizard and accomplished sumo wrestler
el toro fuerte -a professional wrestler who needed a magic talisman to give him super strength in order to be moderately successful.

so paco fails at cheerleading, which is the only job he is capable of doing, because he lets his massive fanboyism for the most useless actual member of his team get in the way.

and this is not to mention that he is completely useless in any sort of combat situation and relies on everybody else to save his ass, often multiple times.

this means that his entire position on the team was to piss off everyone by exclaiming how great his favorite member was at every opportunity and saying how nobody else would ever be as great as them when the exact opposite is proven true in pretty much every single mission they've ever had.

when somebodies entire job on a team is to deny reality at every opportunity it doesn't get much more of a weak link than that.

I would have to say everyone who wasn't Chuck Norris on Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos. You had Kemo, the Samurai who never did anything, Reed and Pepper who were the plucky kids who didn't really do anything, Tabe, the sumo who was more concerned with eating than fighting and Too Much who got into trouble and annoyingly thought everything was "too much!". Chuck would inevitably have to come to the rescue of everyone. Of course, it helps they were fighting a guy with a giant golden claw and a ninja who seemed more concerned with his conditioner than fighting. Watch the intro and see how much fighting Chuck does compared to everyone else.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSU1Lvxy9Sk

Luigi.
Fucking Luigi.

Mario’s plump, compact shape gives him the right proportions to battle sentient mushrooms and retarded turtles as they repeatedly kidnap Toadstool Kingdom slut, Peach.

Luigi, on the other hand, is too tall to get anything done, and his ability to hover in midair always ALWAYS throws off platform jumps. When he looses a life, he moans a terrible “Ohhhhhhh!” which always makes me think he’s engaging in auto-erotic asphyxiation or some shit. The real horror lies in the fact that Luigi is always lingering in the wings, waiting for the inevitable moment when Bowser finally catches Mario and bites his head off with Peach watching horrified, waiting her turn.

As Mario digests in the belly of the Turtle/Dragon/Whatever King, we’ll end up with shitty games like Luigi’s Mansion, where you hunt down ghosts and take their picture.
Repeat: Hunt ghosts and take their picture.
Luigi’s life goal is to become an Ectoplasmic Paparazzi – fuck that!

Alright, hear me out. I do have explanations to back this up.

Morph from X-Men the animated series.

First of all, I want to point out that morph is the only one wearing what appears to be a very generic X-Men costume (except for maybe Rouge, but even hers is a little customized). Morph wasn't even cool enough for his own costume. He pulled out an extra X-Suit from the X-Closet, put a coat on and called it a day.

My most crucial point is here.

The worthless fuck dies in the 2nd episode. Despite being able to shape shift into just about anything, he's too busy being a smart ass to defend himself and gets shot. In the second goddamn episode. Why wouldn't you turn into a mouse? or a cheetah? And then, fucking Morph comes BACK FROM THE DEAD to fuck with the X-Men, just for being pissed off that he was too stupid to not get shot.

to recap:
Shitty costume

Killed the second episode

Comes back from the goddamn grave to fight against them

I'd say that's a pretty weak link if I've ever heard one.

Okay, I'm going to make this very short:

The most useless team member of all time has to be Quick Kick. Why? Very simple:

There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that Quick Kick could do that Snake-Eyes couldn't already do like 100 times better. Seriously. Martial arts? Snake-Eyes is better. Using swords and other silent weaponry? Snake-Eyes is better. Sneaking around? Snake-Eyes is better. Kicking Cobra ass? Still Snake-Eyes. Selling comic books? Definitely Snake-Eyes. Selling action figures? Ditto. The only thing Quick Kick had going for him was that he looked a bit like Bruce Lee. If Bruce Lee were a total tool. With Snake-Eyes on the team, Quick Kick was completely superfluous.

And then they added Jinx. She could do most of what Snake-Eyes could do, but she was a hot Asian chick. So Quick Kick immediately became even less than superfluous.

When Quick Kick was eventually killed off, it could have only been deemed as a mercy killing. I'm sure that by that time he was only a quick shuriken slice across the wrist from suicide out of total despair over how much of a fifth wheel he truly was.

Doc

1) The first season of Scooby Doo was all right, but like so many things it got spoiled by being beaten into the ground. And Shaggy was not completely useless; he had gymnastic skills that were seldom seen.

2) I remember The Mighty Heroes and had a great time watching that show along with Deputy Dawg. :)

3) Kirk's job was to make use of everyone else's various talents. And it was seen in several occasions that Kirk had some mad tactical skills: Balance of Terror, The Corbomite Maneuver, Arena, The Doomsday Machine, Journey To Babel, and Elaan of Troyius were all eps. that displayed Kirks talents.

Kirk was also passionate and able to manipulate or persuade others: Day of The Dove, A Piece of The Action, The Enterprise Incident, The Changeling, By Any Other Name, The Omega Glory, and The Squire of Gothos showed this.

Scotty and Spock were competent commanders, but they lacked charisma and flexibility. Kirk had that in spades and it often showed when he would take in information from his people and come up with a kick-ass plan.

Chop-Chop from the BlackHawks comics. He was written and drawn in a very racist way, obviously, but his costume is easily the stupidest thing I've ever seen. He would get them all killed instantly. Look at this cover:

http://superdickery.com/images/stories/other/344_4_016.jpg

If that's not "weakest link" material, I don't know what is. What military would allow that outfit? Why doesn't one of the BlackHawks say, "Hey, maybe dressing Chop-Chop in the most conspicuous outfit available isn't such a great idea. The least we can do is to take the bow-tie out of his hair. That was just a bad idea from the start."

How about Smurfette? She was so useless a whole village of guys had blue balls.

Albert from Legend of Dragoon

When I think of a weak team member anywhere, I think of the green dragoon, Albert. I have a few spoilers, so this is the warning.

Everyone else I know who played Legend of Dragoon loved Albert. They all found his additions to do massive damage, and be true tests of skill in rythm and reflexes. I could do ALbert's difficult additions, and my friends thought that I hated Albert because I could not do them. Oh no, Albert is bad for every reason except high difficulty.

In the story, Albert is The Prince of Serdio, a the only country in LoD that is not a parody of Cambodia or Russia. Originally, Albert was not even a dragoon, just a useless prince caught up in civil war. What happens to him? He is kidnapped by a fat guy who runs a prison.

Being a heroic dragoon, Dart and the other dragoons have to save him. This comes at the cost of one of the more interesting character's lives, Lavitz, the former green dragoon. In the storyline, this guy gets kidnapped and beaten by just an ordinary fat guy. A FAT GUY! How is Albert worthy of being a dragoon again? Dart has vengeance, Rose has experiance, Shana has a horrible secret, but Albert is just a crappy prince who gets kidnaped by a fat guy.

On top of the fact that Albert makes a sucky replacement for Lavitz in the storyline, he also has terrible level growths. One of my friends says that Albert has the best actual strength in the game. I called bullshit on that, stating that strength does not matter if you die like a little bitch after two hits. Not only that, but the additions, you know those difficult to do hard as hell additions I mentioned earlier are crap. He does not even fight good.

That is why I think that Albert is complete loser, and The Weakest Link in Legend of Dragoon.

Although they tried to make him into some kind of cool image in Teen Titans, Robin... Christopher Nolan doesn't even want him in his movies!

Weakest link, eh? A team member so useless as to defy the imagination? How about "The Terrible Toyman"! Yes, in any of his incarnations has the Toyman incited fear in anyone? This Legion of Doom bandwagoner made his early appearance in the Superman universe in '43. Nineteen forty-three! Back when comics were innocent! His purple-and-blue striped oversized tuxedo belied the idiocy that would perpetuate over the years.

Cut to the 70's,when that Greatest-of-cartoons "Superfriends" mined the collective rogues galleries of the DC universes' heroes. Lex Luthor? Check. The Joker? Check. Solomon Grundy (I hope you get your pants you wanted, Grundy!)? Check. The Toyma...wait, wha? SUperman already has Luthor and Brainiac, deadly sociopaths that constantly undermine that Big Blue Boy Scout. Why is Toyman, in his current form as a whiny marionette, included with this pantheon of evil? It's like Pinocchio fighting against a woodchipper! What can this loser do? I bet the LoD just kept him on because he paid his dues on time....

Cut to the recent "Toyman" on the Superman Animated Series: a giant doll. Wha..? Admittedly, dolls are creepy with their souless beady black eyes staring at mefrom cardboard coffins, but a Supes villain? What, was PlantGuy already taken (oh yeah, by the Flash...)? Superman can move superfast and has heat vision! Boom, two seconds this freak would be toast!

I won't even mention the freaky thing from Alex Ross' Justice...

So yeah, that about sums up the lame-o that is...Toyman.

I'm just going to pick the character that I knew was useless even when I was a child who was too young to even know that Japanese cartoons came from Japan.

Aphrodite-A from Tranzor Z. (Mazinger Z for those of you who only refer to the show by the Japanese name.) She's designed to be useless from her inception. The robot had one purpose in the episode. Every episode Tranzor Z would be getting beaten, and so, in order to distract the enemy, Aphrodite A would fire missiles.

These missiles were housed in her chest. And she only had two them.

They would hit, the enemy would turn around, hit her once, completely destroying her, and then Tranzor Z would regain the upper hand. I distinctly remember watching this show for something like 20 episodes when I was 5 or 6, and still being disgusted enough to ask my older brother if Aphrodite A had EVER done anything aside from get beat up.

We decided that no, she hadn't.

i know i won't win but can we all take a moment to ponder the utter uselessness of peregrine took, at least in the peter jackson lord of the rings films (i haven't the patience for the books).

first of all his name is peregrine. in the real world the peregrine falcon is the fastest bird in the world with a diving speed of around 200mph. in middle earth peregrine is the name of a dorkass hobbit who basically screws everything up every chance he gets.

he starts by setting off some stupid fireworks and getting caught by gandalf and dragged away by his ear...only to go on to pretty much directly cause gandalf's death because he thought "hey this arrow sticking out of this unstable skeleton perched precariously atop this ancient well looks like a fun thing to touch". and so in come the goblins and the balrog and bye bye gandalf.

later he moronically sneaks a peek at saruman's palantir and causes another big fracas that almost ruins everything for everyone. he also stupidly swears fealty to crazy ol' denethor after explaining the details of boromir's demise (who died in vain trying to save who? stupid pippin). he later joins the battle of minas tirith and sure they toss in some heroic moves but really he just has to hide behind gandalf the whole time. and then they try to say "look, he saved faramir!" but by this time, he's already been involved in too many shenanigans for anyone to give a hoot.

PLUS he cries like a little bitch when he sings his stupid song for denethor, while denethor just chills like a villain eatin some sweet ass cherry tomatoes and chicken.

pippin is lame.

I dig on Wheaton, but really, Wesley was nothing but an impediment in every episode of TNG he was ever in. I mean, he got sentenced to death once for stepping on flowers, ffs.

Hands down it has to be Newton from the old Hercules cartoon. That centaur was only good for giving Deadalus & the other villians someone weak to kidnap every week.

Newton: 'Herc! Herc! Save me!'
Hercules: 'Save yourself, jackass'.

This is going a little off board, but I am going with a character from one of my recent D&D campaigns. This character came to be known by me, as Fluffy the Wonder Lemming, here's why.

He had decided to try playing a bard. His race is called a tibbit, think Puss in Boots crossed with a halfling. Basically, he was a small sized guy with a violin, who could turn into a house cat at will. Now he didn't like d&d combat because he was a role player, so from the start, he wasn't wearing armor, and he had no weapons. Remember this because it will be important later.

So the party meets up by saving this guy who is getting mugged by three dudes in face paint. Each other member of the party moves to assist, the two sword wielders move in to attack, the jester casts a spell. And what does Fluffy do, he picks up a rock off of the ground and flings it at one of the thugs. A rock. This was his entire help to this combat.

So a while later they are in this underground maze, and they kill this guy who carried a heavy crossbow. The rest of the party didn't want it so Fluffy decided to keep the crossbow. To make it so he could actually drag it around he made some wheels and turned it into a very small ballista, which he proceeded to use in combat and never hit anything with. But hey at least he finally had a weapon, by the third gaming session.

Later they came upon a suit of enchanted gnomish full plate, that was was alive, and programed to defend this vault. The other party members move to attack it. What does Fluffy do, he leaps off of a box and attempts to tackle the armor. Now at this time he was a level 2 bard. So he had shit for an attack bonus, no skill with bull rush, or any real combat power at all. And he tries to tackle a construct. The construct precedes to bash him out of the air, knocking him unconscious in one hit. Again this was his sole aid to the combat.

And his last big blunder. Our main fighter was having the lousiest time fighting this flying tentacle beast thing. She kept missing the thing's AC by 1. Fluffy basically ran around the room trying to come up with some way to help. Never really does though. Now, at low levels a bard's purpose is to play his music and give the party one of the most useful buffs in D&D, because it gives everyone a +1 to attack and damage, you see the connection here. If he had spent just a single round singing, or strumming his violin, or banging the drum he picked up somewhere along the way, our fighter would have killed this thing in no time, instead, it killed her. Just after that, another member of the party killed it, but it was a moment to late.

Now these were just the big things that happened. There were little things too. He would easily get distracted by anything that resembled a tassel, things like the leather straps at the end of one party member's bull whip. And when a female cat came out of a bag of tricks, Fluffy switched to his cat form, and attempted to get busy. Thankfully the cat would only stick around for about 20-30 seconds, but still, that is not something the party wanted to see.

For being an amusing character, which I assume was his original intention, Fluffy succeeded. But for being a character that could survive as an adventurer, the Wonder Lemming—failed. Miserably.

Fluffy has since wandered off to greener pastures. And has since been replaced by a new character, and a new player, this time it is a Gnomish Warlock ... at least he actually hits things.

I nominate Cover Girl from GiJoe any model would be too busy making herself throw up and snorting coke to be much good on a battlefield. Honestly I dont even see her passing basic, I mean I hate to say it cause she seems like a good person and all.

Dang it mojo i was gonna say that!!!

Peter Petrelli. Think about it he started out having the best power of all the heroes. the ability to absorb/ mimic another individuals power with out killing them. But then he visits dear old dad who can take powers PERMANENTLY. we all know what happens after that.

Renton Thurston of Eureka 7.
In one episode Eureka (the name a girl) is changing and her arm look every odd. whats he do ... he takes a rock and beats his arm till it bleeds. The next scene he has a high fever.
Honorable mention:
The game Too Human.
it just sucked

Jam> I sorta beat you to it on the first one, but that wasn't my entry. ;P

Hmm, so many to choose from...

One is Bumblebee from Generation 1. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy, but for an Autobot whose function is espionage... well, he didn't seem to do a very good job. They say he's supposed to be stealthy, but he winds up being captured more often than getting the job done, and in the Marvel comics, that usually leads to getting torn apart, at that.

What's that? "I'll find out the Decepticons' plan while they're down in that empty riverbed, then instead of getting some distance, stand on the edge to transform, rev my engine so they'll know that I'm there, and then FALL BACKWARDS into the ravine?" Brilliant.

Still, at least he could transform into a cheap car toy, and was kind of neat in that regard.

Maybe a better candidate would be Zack, the "Fifth Turtle" from the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. He idolized the Turtles, and hunted them down to join them as the Fifth Turtle. Except there was one small technicality...

He wasn't even a turtle! He was just a little boy!

If they're going to draft any species under the sun as a "turtle," then shouldn't April and Splinter be filling some slots? What, is "Seventh Turtle" not good enough?

Worse still, they made his older brother the "Sixth Turtle."

At the same time, at least Zack managed to make himself useful, thanks to contrived writing aimed at kids. I think he helped with the rescue one time when the Turtles were captured, so he apparently wasn't entirely useless.

So then I get to thinking about Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge, Gamma, Cream & Cheese, even Big the Cat... they all prove their worth at some point.

And then we have the comic characters. Sally, the leader and hacker; Rotor, the mechanical genius; and Bunnie, who has versatile robot limbs and super strength. And then there's Antoine.

Now, in the comic, Antoine got some good development. He was originally a joke character of sorts, but combat has toughened him up, and he's sharpened his sword skills. He's actually pretty cool now, and even managed to marry Bunnie, to boot.

Unfortunately, the Saturday morning cartoon, or SatAM version, is nowhere near as good. He has no sword. He is the biggest sissy in the history of ever. He jeopardizes every single mission he's a part of through his cowardice or sheer ineptitude and clumsiness. He's practically a different character. And for some reason, he's taken on missions more than anyone shy of Sonic.

And through all that, I don't think he ever once truly proves himself worthwhile in any capacity.

A clumsy coward who contributes zilch? In just about any circumstance, that person is better off being left as a civilian. Instead, they make him a part of the team, and in the process shaft Tails, one of the actual stars of the games, the Sonic 2.0 who is his sidekick and can fly (game AI clumsiness notwithstanding).

So my vote is SatAM Antoine. Because Scrappy Doo, Aquaman, Morph, Ma-ti, Toad, Orko, Bisquick--er, I mean Quick Kick, Luigi... even Raptor was probably handy on Tax Day. They all managed to at least contribute SOMETHING at some point in their careers, even if only by cartoon contrivance writing.

Antoine never even accomplished that much. He wasn't a fifth wheel, he was a flat tire. And he wasn't just the weakest link, he was a broken one from the start.

(I'd like to revise my entry. I fixed grammatical errors and clarified things. If this is against the rules, I'd like my original entry to be judged. And the reason I am not using my real email is that it is also my father's email and I don't think he'd be very happy if he got mail saying he won a shirt that said "Topless Robot" on it. Besides, there's no way the shirt could fit me. But I would like acknowledgments if you consider my entry worthy.)

There is no other answer than Hawkman, on Challenge of the Superfriends. On a team with Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Batman, and Flash, Hawkman's only power was that he could fly. And not even very well. However, one may question this decision, considering the team also had Aquaman. But here's the thing: Aquaman's power to order fish around is absolutely useless in all but the most idiotic of scenarios (of course, given it was animated by Hanna-Barbera in 1978 and under strict censorship, this show had no shortage of idiotic scenarios,) but even Aquaman's power, utterly useless as it is, is unique. Whereas the Superfriends already have Green Lantern and goddamn SUPERMAN, so having a guy whose power is flying on their team is like having a six-year-old who’s good at tee ball on a Major League Baseball team (that isn’t the Nationals.) And when the Superfriends need someone to fly after the villainous Legion of Doom, who are they going to choose? The guy who can fly at light speed and shoot lasers out of his eyes, or the guy with a helmet and wings? And even if the rest of the Superfriends have been taken out, what the fuck can Hawkman do? He can't fly fast at all, and doesn't even have a kickass electrical mace to throw like Hawkgirl did in the kickass Justice League series. And once again, the Legion of Doom and their flying Darth Vader head headquarters will escape, all because of sucky-ass Hawkman.
I'M NOT EVEN FREAKING DONE!
So picture this: Lex Luthor stands alone in a ruined arena, as the Superfriends have taken all but him down in a battle that has left the entire Legion and all of the Superfriends incapacitated in censor-approved fashion. Only Luthor remains...and Hawkman. As Luthor desperatly tries to find an escape route, his mind suddenly figures out that the man standing in front of him has absolutely nothing on him. So Luthor charges towards Hawkman, and Hawkman's thinking "Oh shit, it's goddamn Lex Luthor and he's going to fucking kill me. Why am I even here? I'm just a guy with some wings! What am I going to do, fly at him? I can't even run away that fast because of these goddamn wings! SHITSHITSHITSH-" and then Luthor kicks him in the ribs with his kickass boots, and Hawkman falls to ground, unconscious. Luthor then gets all his comrades out of the arena, and then he presses a button that launches the arena into the Sun or some shit. Then when Hawkman wakes up, everyone, still unable to escape from their censor-approved bonds, yells at him for being a fuck-up right before they all die.
And that, my fellow nerds, is why Hawkman is...the weakest link.
Goodbye.

mekaneck looks disturbingly phallic to me...

Anyways, I'm calling out Silver the Hedgehog, from Sonic the Hedgehog (The shitty one). Despite being able to move things at will, time travel, and being partnered with a pyrokinetic cat, Silver manages to use his ability to beat the crap out of all the heroes, jump around all over the timestream, causing massive plot holes in reality, and get seperated from the pyro cat after the first level.
His inability to do anything right eventually gets his cat girl killed and eventually unravels the fabric of reality itself. Only making up for it by mooching off Sonic's power and going golden, which he would have fucked up royal if Sonic and Shadow weren't able to jump around the timestream at will and beat the crap out of him. They'd probably have been better off if they just had fought with the giant hulking robot with miniguns stored in his arms than the whiny hedgehog with the pot leaf on his head.

Katsu Kobayashi from Zeta Gundam.

In the first Gundam series Katsu and his partners in comedy relief, Retsu and Kikka, manage to keep Zeon commandos from blowing up the Federation's then-new mass-production Mobile Suits. In the sequel, Katsu is dangerously impulsive, reckless and naive, falling in love with a Titans prisoner, who then suckers him into helping her escape, and getting himself killed by literally not watching where he's going (too busy gloating) in the middle of a huge three-way Mobile Suit throwdown, and slamming into an asteriod. When his crippled fighter is blasted and the detonates on impact with a derelict cruiser, you're pretty much pleased. But one of the other characters gets her Mobile Suit taken apart trying to avenge him, and the crew of the second-most powerful ship on their side get themselves killed trying to protect her.

The kid was a liability, and should have been shoved out of an airlock midway through the series.

Coran from Lion Force Voltron. All he did was serve as a whiny babysitter for the fully grown princess. He served no real purpose and since he was part of the team I would say he was surely the weakest link. Plus he was a Arus class douche.

Luke Skywalker. It may seem controversial, but let's look at the facts, people.

Think about it. In a New Hope, he is a whiny bitch. Doesn't know his ass from a lightsaber, and would have never blown up the Death Star if Han hadn't shown up in the Falcon and saved his ass.

In Empire Strikes Back, he almost dies on Hoth and, again, Han shows up in the nick of time and rescues him. He does everything Yoda tells him NOT to do (don't go into the cave, don't leave your training, etc), puts his friends in danger by flying off to Bespin without a plan, tries to fight Vader even though he has very little understanding/control of The Force, gets his hand chopped off, freaks out over his newly discovered daddy issues, and makes out with HIS SISTER.

In Return of the Jedi, he fashions himself a JEDI KNIGHT even though the last time we saw him, he couldn't lift an X-Wing out of a swamp or manage to keep all his limbs in a duel. Then, he comes up with the worst rescue plan in the history of the universe, which includes sending everybody he knows right into Jabba's lair, getting himself captured, being forced to fight and nearly ending up dinner for the Sarlacc, and basically being a show-off and a moron. He goes to Endor, even though he knows Vader will feel his presence, and eventually goes off on his own to confront his dad. He gives in to his anger, even though that's exactly what the Emperor wants, then changes his mind and stands there like a douche, fights pitifully with Vader, gets his ass handed to him by Palpatine, and finally, in the most ultimate pussy move in history, decides that he is going to appeal to DARTH VADER'S CONSCIENCE. Anybody with half a brain would have thought that, after a couple decades of pure evil, Vader's good side was gone, and it was only the fact that Vader still had some of those whiny, bitchy Skywalker genes deep down that Luke managed to live at all.

Weakest link doesn't even cover it. Luke Skywalker is made of epic fail.

Okay, I really don't see how anything can honestly top this one: The Red Bee. He was a "superhero" who had ties to the Freedom Fighters and the All-Star Squadron. So, with peers who are some of the most powerful motherfuckers on the planet such as Green Lantern, Dr. Fate, and Superman, what is this guy's "power?" He wears red and pink tights. And he has two bees. And they live inside his belt buckle. And he has never done absolutely anything of note, other than sucks sixteen different kinds of rancid goat ass, in every way imaginable. What a sad sack of shit. I'm ashamed I even know who the fuck he is.

One Word: SNARF.

My pick goes out to Harry Osborn in the Spider-Man movies.

I personally love James Franco's take on Harry. He really captured the emo-douchebaggedness of Peter's bestest-richest-onlyest friend. One of two times in all his screen time he's ever been worth a damn where he's hopped up on the goblin formula in a pimped out XXX-treme flight suit, and wielding a machete Jason Voorhees would be jealous of, he's taken out by essentially a variation of the "Walking into a bar" joke.

C'mon guys he wasn't even burnt out from heavy drug use like the comics, and he barely even boozed it up in Spider-Man 2. So what gives? A pipe to the face ended one of the coolest Spidey battles in cinematic history. Thats how much of a Weak Link Harry Osborn is.

Oh wait he's also dead.

Ahem. Thats how much of a weak link Harry Osborn was.

Ma-Ti from captain planet. The others had cool elemental powers and what did he have? Heart... yeah that's right his power was heart and it was awful. If they'd have shot him in the face at the start of the series and summoned captain planet without the magical power of 'heart' then maybe he would've used his elemental powers to kill his enemies so they didn't keep turning up again every other week.

Reiko Asagiri of the anime Gatekeepers, not only is she useless she is a total airhead. When told she has special powers to battle the invaders she comes to the conclusion she is a witch. Her power is based around music so she needs to use an instrument to activate it. As she is a world class pianist she uses a piano for one of her mission, on a flatbed car of a speeding train. On another mission to recruit a new member she gets lost and end up all over Japan, never getting anywhere near her teammates or the new recruit.
And then to make matters worst the Anime gives her a whole episode in the second half for herself. After blowing another mission, one of her teammates, Megumi Kurogane, starts calling her, IIRC, useless. After reflecting on this, she attempts to become more helpful by intimating her teammates attacks, does not work. And at the end she takes the top secret, robot gate engine, which she thinks of as a puppet out into the public. And what does her superiors do to her nothing.

Sakura from the original Naruto manga/anime. Part of the kick-ass Squad 7 with Naruto and his Rasengan, and Sasuke and his Sharingan, Sakura can...act crazy. That's it. Naruto and Sasuke get these awesome abilities, and Sakura just swoons over Sasuke and even gets bitch-slapped when he leaves the village. She's worthless.

To be fair to Ma-Ti, his powers could have been pretty cool in the hands of good writers. Which, unfortunately, Captain Planet didn't have...

Also, any girl in Naruto. Especially Sakura, who's a generic tsundere bitch on top of being completely useless. She got knocked the fuck out by a powerup scene, enough said.

I'm saddened, though not shocked, by some of the entries regarding Heroes so far. The usual misspelled Claire-bashing and an entry regarding Peter's idiocy that is based on something Peter would have had no way of knowing in advance (i.e. his dad had the power to drain others' superpowers)

This saddens me not because these are particularly invalid points but because nobody has gone after the real weak link of the HEROES cast and the one person who most needs to take a dirt nap this Monday. I speak of Doctor Mohinder Suresh

In brief, the reason Mohinder is the weakest link out of all of the HEROES cast comes down to three key traits.
1.) His complete inability to know who is trustworthy.
2.) His complete lack of any common sense.
3.) His complete incompetence as a doctor/scientist.

In specific... well, let's run down the quick synopsis chapter by chapter, shall we?

CHAPTER ONE: GENESIS

* Travels to USA to continue his father's work proving the existence of superpowers and to find father's killer. Tries to find people with powers by ambushing them on the street and is shocked when New Yorkers do not want to speak to a stranger who asks if they are special.

* Turns away the one honestly powered person who comes to him looking for help (Peter), without performing any blood tests or scientific study at all. Eventually agrees to try and meet with another person with powers (future painter and drug addict Issac) but giving up after Isaac (stoned at the time) doesn't answer his door.

* Gives up on the quest that brought him halfway around the world after a few days. Is finally inspired to go back to USA and keep going, not by the support of his mother but by a vision of dreamwalking boy.

* Returns home to meet Noah Benent - the first person who seems to have any idea what is going on. He offers Mohinder a job. Mohinder refuses and continues to work on his own.

* Winds up partnering up with Sylar, the man who killed his father. To his credit, only one more powered person dies before Mohinder puts 2 and 2 together regarding a mysterious super-powered killer and his new companion. To his discredit, he elects to dope Sylar up with an injected drug and monologue before shooting him rather than just giving Sylar a lethal injection.

* After being saved from Sylar by Peter, who is killed in the process, rather than trying to treat Peter medically himself, he hauls Peter to his mother's house, completely ignoring that even in New York City, a man carrying a bloody corpse around WILL get attention.

* Decides NOW to take the job offer Bennet made. Begins working for The Company, despite it being made clear immediately just how corrupt they are. Is put to work on curing the terminal disease of a young girl, Molly, who will - once cured - be the centerpiece of The Company's new spook program to track down powered people around the world.

FINAL RESULT OF HIS ACTIONS ON THE CHAPTER: Nothing, really. Apart from saving Molly's life, he didn't do a single positive thing and even that would have been a bad thing if it hadn't been for Bennet/Matt rescuing Molly later. Nothing he did helped bring down Sylar in the end.

CHAPTER TWO: GENERATIONS

* Chapter opens on Mohinder on lecture circuit trying (and failing) to preach his father's idea to legitimate scientists. Forgets that his foster daughter (clairvoyant Molly) and new roommate (mind-reader Matt Parkman) could easily prove his theories correct in about two minutes on stage.

* Eventually takes job with The Company - again. It turns out he is a double agent, working with Noah Bennet, planning to bring The Company down from the inside. Naturally, he winds up trusting new Company head Bob Bishop - despite the obvious corruption of The Company under Bob's leadership, Bob's emotional abuse of his daughter Elle and Bob's repeated orders that Mohinder infect various people with The Shanti Virus; a lethal virus that takes a way a person's powers before killing them .

* Mohinder reveals to Bob that he has been working with Bennet and that he knows where he is. Eventually kills Bennet (shoots him in the eye) and brings him back to life with Claire's healing-potion blood just so Bennet can rot in a Company prison.

* Indirectly responsible for Niki Sander's death, his failure to create a cure for The Shanti Virus without resorting to healing-potion blood resulting in Niki being depowered and helpless when she is later caught in a burning building.

* Directly responsible for Sylar getting his powers back and NOT dying, after he makes a cure (with the healing potion blood) that saves Sylar from the same virus.

FINAL RESULT OF HIS ACTIONS ON THE CHAPTER: Nothing positive. Bennet is jailed because of him. Sylar is back in business because of him. Niki is dead because of him. And Maya - the one person on the show more annoying, if not more useless than Mohinder - manages to live because of him.

CHAPTER THREE: VILLAINS

* Asked by Maya to create a cure for her plague-causing superpower. Within the span of an afternoon, despite having spent the last few months working specifically with a virus that naturally negates a person's superpowers, he fails to find a cure but DOES manage to create a formula that could give a normal person superpowers.

* Elects to test said formula on himself. Wanders off alone to the docks to inject himself with his untested formula rather than doing it with Maya present or within the safety of his lab.

* Develops Spider-Man like powers, becoming super agile, super strong, able to crawl on walls and super-ripped. After night of frenzied sex with Maya, is surprised to find that parts of his skin are flaking off and not where you'd expect to be finding skin flaking off after unprotected sex with an plague-empowered illegal immigrant.

* Begins kidnapping random people and neighbors off the street and putting them in cocoons for experimentation to further test his formula. Maya winds up in a cocoon as well.

* Flees lab to join Pinehearst team after nearly getting his ass-kicked by ice-queen Tracy. Takes Maya with him and gets her condition "Cured" by power-draining Arthur Petrelli. Agrees to help Arthur with developing the super-power formula, even though it quickly becomes apparent that they know a LOT more than he does, though they are helpless to cure him. Begins experimenting on more innocents.

* Ignores warnings of time-traveler and all-around good guy Peter, who warns him that he will become a monster in the future if he doesn't change his ways.

FINAL RESULT OF HIS ACTIONS ON THE CHAPTER: Again, nothing positive. In fact, he was actively aiding the bad guys for most of the season when he wasn't committing Nazi-level war crimes trying to save his own ass.

CHAPTER FOUR: FUGITIVES

* Following escape from metahuman prison, "Teams" with Matt and Peter in their plan to kidnap Noah Bennet in order to figure out who us behind the government plans to capture empowered humans. Spends most of time objecting to moral implications of drugging and telepathically scanning a man against his will despite having done a lot worse several months earlier.

* Is revealed to have been warned weeks earlier by Noah Bennet about what the government was planning. Did not feel the need to tell any of his friends just in case Bennet - who had no reason to lie to Mohinder and in fact had every reason to keep his mouth shut given their history - was telling the truth.

* Spends most of the next few episodes drugged up. Is eventually freed by Tracy during her escape attempt and pairs up with Matt/Daphne, only to nag Matt non-stop about his efforts to see Daphne given proper medical attention being foolish.

* Returns to his old apartment despite warnings about not going to places they used to live. Is informed by his old landlord that his father had a lot of stuff he left in the basement... stuff that conveniently reveals that his father had secretly worked for the US Government before at a superhuman concentration camp. Mohinder goes to the remains of said camp, just in time for a Petrelli family reunion and to trigger a violent flashback in a weather-controlling woman, whom is father tried to euthanize.

FINAL RESULT OF HIS ACTIONS ON THE CHAPTER: Jack and squat. At least he wasn't intentionally trying to help the bad guys this time but he might as well have been.

Mohinder is - at best - completely irrelevant to the heroic action of every storyline he's been "involved" in. At worst, he's frequently working for the bad guys and aiding their goals... occasionally doing so intentionally. Small wonder then that his fan nickname - Mohinderance - is now an entry on Urban Dictionary, meaning "a blatant obstacle".

This strays a little from the topic and no doubt this has been covered ad infinitum previously, but there's a major problem with any character who wields blades and then is depicted in a cartoon aimed at kids.

I am certain there are more examples floating in the ether of our collective 80s cartoon consciences that I have overlooked but here are a few of note...

*I think it was only recently in the GI Joe: Resolute series that Snake-Eyes even remotely injured someone on screen with his sword.
*Small wonder Wolverine is so surly all the time- the extent he is allowed to go to with his claws is to slice robots and metal doors.
*Same goes with Leonardo (albiet sans the attitude), although he does manage to skillfully defeat enemies with the pommels of his swords- he'd be better off fighting his opponents with them sheathed.

On another note, when Mati from Captain Planet hits his latter teenage years, chances are that heart ring is going to pull him a lot of meaningless romantic encounters...

@ LBD

I was highly contemplating Antoine (because I've only written about Sonic for these contests, what, three times?), and then I remembered the episode "Sonic Boom," in which Sonic breaks into Robotropolis to do some random stuff (rescue some captured Freedom Fighter, IIRC), and Antoine and Sally go off and look for a trace of Sally's father.

Antoine saves Sally's ass a couple of times in that episode. Granted, he also needs saving quite a bit, but he essentially mans up and does Sonic's job for him (protect Sally) for quite a while.

Hmm... sufficiently nerdy...

The weakest link?

You know what? Asuna Kagurazaka, from Negima!.

"But wait, McTool!" you cry. "Asuna's become a total badass! She can now pretty much summon that broadsword at will, and she's got that built-in magic canceling ability!"

Yes. Yes she does have that built-in magic-canceling ability.

Which is why it is BEYOND me how she continually manages to get her ass kicked by everyone, especially given that they're now in the MAGIC REALM. Seriously, there is not a member of Negi's "party" who's lost a serious match to Asuna lately, because everyone else seems to exist solely so Asuna can feel crappy about her abilities and go off and get stronger. Meanwhile, everyone else gets stronger too, so we have a case of DBZ syndrome, where the power levels keep going up, and up, and up, and they show no signs of stopping.

And Asuna still gets her ass kicked.

"But McTool! Asuna saves Negi on several occasions! Doesn't that make her just as bad as Antoine?"

Yeah, I suppose. But I hate Asuna more because she can't make up her damn mind about whether or not she wants to bang 10-year-olds (protip: the answer is no).

Kazoo...from the flinstones he was a fucking alien in a show about life in the animated stone ages who only showed up to speak in his agressively homosexual, holier-then-thou voice and verbally abuse the others characters that had seniority.

Who the hell walked into Hana-Barbera and had the balls (or ovaries of iron) to say:

"you know what I think would be a great addition to the flinstones? A little gay, green, flying alien!"

AND since no cartoon is complete without a "scrapy doo" (another hateable character of the same function) Kazoo pops in whenever the show is getting good and announces He will be the only one on the screen for the next twenty minutes and ruin the plot, he is complete with a catch phrase:

"Hello dum-dum!"

If that thing appeared on my shoulder and basically greeted me with

"Hey idiot!"

I would send him back to his planet in worse mental shape then ET!

..One more person I hate is Squirrel girl!

She's not even funny she's so stupid!

That mouse-muff defeated doctor doom with crazed Squirrels!

That's reason enough!

Color Kid from the Legion of Super Heroes. He has the ability to change the color of an object at will. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_Kid

Angel in the Buffyverse (before he got a spin-off). Serious, the couldn't have had a more awesome formula for a character: one of the most evil vampires in history suddenly finds himself with a soul. How could he not be the most badass character who has ever badassed in the entirety of Badassland?! But NO! He's a manic depressive who whines constantly and says/shouts/whispers/moans/cries "Buffy" every three seconds! I don't care if he WAS useful on the rare occasion that he wasn't moping about/trying to destroy the world, he was more annoying than...SOMETHING THAT'S INCREDIBLY ANNOYING!!

Then he moved to L.A., where he grew a pair and a sense of humor, and all was right with the world.

Steve Trevor from the Wonder Woman TV series.

I would have to say Edward from Final Fantasy IV(Original version). Now as much as I would love to say Mati from Captain Planet, he elbowed a nazi in the face so I give some respect. Now Edward is the most pathetic Final Fantasy character ever and boy do I mean ever. While some people have their uses in battle Edward is pretty much useless.

For one thing he seems to posses status aliment abilities which could come in handy, but here's the thing they never fucking work. I've tried using him but every time I have in my party I just leave him dead so I can let my other more useful characters level up faster without having to worry about him. The guy is so damn useless that he actually has a move that lets him hide for a turn that almost acknowledges that he is just too much of a well "spoony bard" to do anything. He also wield a harp in battle, a harp, which would not be so bad if it could do much damage besides 1 hp, he's pretty much useless in every respect you can think of without even trying. He can't attack worth shit, his "song" don't cause monster status aliments and his only use to the party is to hide,wow doesn't he sound like the best party member ever.

As much as other people have lame powers at least they work right, whenever there's a shark attack you call Aquaman, whenever you need animals to calm the hell down you call Mati, whenever you need to see really high you call mekaneck, whenever you need really, and I mean really crappy party member you call Edward, because that is really the only use for him, to basically be the load.

Troi was pretty annoying... I think she was as useful as Data's privates, but at least he poinked Yar. The only good TNG episode w/ Troi was when she was undercover as a Romulan...

I have to refute the Sorceress from MOTU. She was pretty freakin' powerful, and she could occasionally leave Grayskull (whenever the story necessitated it) or if she had some special crystal or something.

I think we all could have lived w/o Orko, but he served a purpose... pissing off Man-At-Arms. 'Ol Duncan was a cool character, he invented a lot of cool things (which Skeletor would always tamper with) but he was a lot cooler when he was pissed off at Orko for breaking something or getting egg on his face or something.

Suresh is by far the weakest character on Heroes (though, thats easily debatable). He is useful to explain all the scientific mumbo jumo in monosyllabic words for the audience to understand, and whip up a quick antidote or magic syrum. I think the biggest thing he does is provide a connection to his dead father, so they can conveniently throw in "oh, btw, your dead father had a storage unit with lots of his research listed alphabetically in Cliffnotes format...

I think Toad was essential to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. He was like a guage as to how fucked up shit was getting and whatnot (though, Luigi served in this capacity as well), he also asked all the stupid questions that we the audience wanted to know, and was good for some exposition.

Its a pretty easy Target, but good 'ol Wesley Crusher is possibly the weakest link. He was always fuckin' shit up, disobeying orders, and being sad that Capt. Picard didn't touch him in his special places...

Any Doctor Who Companion. Any! The only things they can be relied upon is to be kidnapped, hypnotized, lost, SCREEEEAAAAM a lot, screw up the Doctor's plan and twist their ankles whilst running away from the slowest moving monsters ever.

Ben Carmine, Gears of War 2.

Well, he's the rookie, makes sense...but still, he must be so weak, that when

SPOILERS

They fall into the Giant Worm, the main team sees him being eaten by some...weird things, crying "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE HELP ME", and after 10 minutes of suffering, they finally realize:
-Holy shit, that's---
-Shut up.
-But we gotta hel--
-I said shut the f*** up

So, yes, he just sucked.

Dude, WESLEY CRUSHER. The most irritating, annoying turd ever to come out of the vast compendium of Star Trek TNG episodes. His only positive accomplishment was to have a MILF for a mother.

Darth Vader in the whole of Star Wars.

1. Whiny little bitch to begin with. When South Park mocks your last words of "the penultimate chapter" of the whole damn prequel trilogy, that's a bad sign) Cries after murdering Sand People. Sand People who tortured your mother no less. Can't even just ice a bunch of Jedi children without crying. Jeez some force for evil.

2. Congrats on getting bitched by Grand Moff Tarkin, can't even discipline your own subordinates.

3. Wow you beat a feeble old Obi Wan who actually sacrificed himself rather than being really defeated. Like kicking a retard puppy. Good job.

4. Crappy TIE fighter pilot. I've seen the Clone Wars and you could've schooled Farm Boy any day, unless your just as useless as a pilot. Even better, you don't let your wingmen finish off Wedge, who congrats, later destroys your second death star.

Empire

1. Fails to obliterate Hoth despite overwhelming firepower and don't give me none of that chain of command crap. You put the people in charge, you take the fall when they blow it.

2. Rather than call off the pursuit of one little Millenium Falcon, proceeds to damage or destroy a bunch of Star Destroyers chasing it through...wait for it... a giant asteroid field. Awesome job General (oh yeah he was supposedly a smart enough commander to hit general in the Clone Wars)!

3. Playing with his food at Bespin. Great you set a trap, it actually works and rather than just obliterating your opponent (Farm Boy again) you try to turn him when you know full well there can only be two Sith lords at a time. You are the ultimate badass and rather than just beating an inexperienced, scared little girl of a not-really-a-jedi, you play with your food and he gets away. Great plan, dick.

Jedi

1. Sigh.....
beaten by your own feelings and a bunch of Ewoks... oh yeah and the guy from the mining colony you could have just obliterated rather than making a deal (yeah a good Sith would really make a deal rather than a brutal show of force), and oh yeah the guy you let get away in the first trench run, and oh yeah the wookie, Han and the Princess, and R2 (who you had as a boy, apparently Sith can't even inspire loyalty in their droids) who you could have killed in one swoop on Bespin....but no you had to be merciful and stupid.

Congrats dick, you could've rulled the galaxy if not for being the worst player on the Empire's side.

Well, I know I don't have a cinder's chance in the arctic at winning this one, what with all the other fine examples above, but I'll nominate..."Spike"—er, excuse me, "Spyke" from X-Men: Evolution.

Okay, bear with me. First, he's an Original Character for the series—we all know how good a strategy that tends to be, but hey, there've been exceptions.

Second, his mutant powers aren't QUITE original, but seem to be suspiciously similar to another, established character not in the show. Okay, whatever, I can see doing that. Sure.

*Third,* not unlike Wolverine, his powers are somewhat limited in how they can be portrayed on television. That is; he makes stabby things. Kids TV don't like stabbings, no matter how justified or awesome, so he's already on door-busting, piton-generating duty. Yay.

Fourth—not only is it an automatically crippled superpower, it's a GROSS superpower. The kid *shoots out pieces of his own skeleton.* I think this actually has to do with character style—probably a horror or undead-themed guy could pull it off—but as it is, it's just Discovery Channel medical oddity type stuff, here.

Fifth...OK, I'm just going to start grouping these. He's annoying; he's got a stupid hairstyle, a stupid codename (Oooo, a "Y" instead of an "I"! Does he pass out business cards to make sure people get it?), a grating, semi-pubescent voice that makes him sound like an 11 year old trying to act 17; a slang vocabulary that makes Kitty's "valley girl" voice sound charming, and most of this is building up to support a "cool skater-boy" persona they were obviously going for, also bolstered by his annoying, hotheaded attitude and quietly diligent attention to putting on his helmet and knee/elbow pads before cruising around on his skateboard (in a show that premiered in 2000—yeah, they're catching up to Bart Simpson NOW, dadgummit!)...

But y'know, after all of that, what really makes him stand out as a "weakest link"?

He was written out of the show.

About a season and a half before the series finale, he mutates some more, and in an only marginally more jackassed decision, flees to live with reclusive sewer mutants. He doesn't even show up again till the next season, in maybe two or three episodes.

So, by all apparent reasoning, he wasn't useful enough to keep the writers even marginally interested in him—in other words, so useless to his team that his own universe rejected him. TV writers kept *Scrappy Doo* around for god knows how many series', but "Spyke" only got two and a half seasons?

Ow.

Slippy Toad from the Starfox series.
Starfox is apparently a crack team of mercenaries who pilot state of the art air & space jet fighters. What possessed Fox McCloud to let this bumbling motor-mouthed idiot into the team?!

Okay, so we're told he's an awesome mechanic. (Told, mind, we never get shown this. Ever.) But why is he allowed to fly the Arwing when he's a known ham-fisted clout?

It is to my pride that Slippy never gets shot down by an enemy in all the proper Starfox games.

Because I blast him out of the sky myself at the earliest opportunity.

In Edward's (The spoony bard) defense, in the GBA version, wherein Cid, Yang, Edward, Palom and Porom can rejoin your party instead of hanging out in the Mysidian prayer tower for the rest of the game, Edward becomes a very useful character. He gets a weapon that allows his to hit dragons for massive damage, doing upwards of 8000 from the back row. He can also cast mighty guard with a new accessory.
As for SMB2's Toad, he's both strongest AND fastest, effectively outclassing Mario in every way. The real question, I think, is why do people use Mario at all?
It also makes me very happy that Shining Force and Jogurt got a mention.

Now my answer. I'm not in this to win since Sy-duck fulfilled that dream a few weeks ago. I just want to put in my two cents.
Let's take a trip to last week's winner, Final Fantasy VI. In that game we get mages, monks, ninjas, mimes, and mechanics. In a cast of fourteen characters there had to be one that utterly failed. For those who complain that Gau is the worst, you are wrong. He's actually one the best in the game. The core twelve characters can also use Espers and get boosts and spells from them. That leaves the two secret characters. Gogo the mime can use the special attack of anyone in the game including the magic skill, which kind of excuses his non-Esper existence. Then there's Umaro. Umaro is a yeti who comes with his own equipment. Awesome, right? Well, not exactly. Of the four items you can equip on a character, Umaro only comes with two. Not only that, but you can never add to or replace that equipment. On top of that, he's completely uncontrollable. Brought him to the Fanatics Tower and want to cast Life 3 before you get swept by Magi Master's Ultima? Oops, Umaro attacked and killed him causing his counter attack, making you restart the 50-floor nigthmare. Goddess make you protect her from physical attacks with your own body? That doesn't phase Umaro, who keeps on whacking you. Chadarnook turn into a woman who saps your energy when you strike her? Umaro LIKES losing health constantly!
Umaro serves as a constant impeding factor in many of the game's big battles. And in a game that is all about fighting, what does that say about Umaro?

Of course Aquaman came first to mind when i saw the competition...but then i remembered back to my days of collecting Marvel cards. i remember getting one card in a pack of a character that i had never heard of before, and across his picture in bold red lettering was the word DECEASED.
the character was cypher. his power was to translate languages. wow. that is amazing if you are trying to bag foreign chicks, but as far as stopping magneto, apocolypse, juggernaut and the like...you may as well just throw your english-to-spanish dictionary at them. the result would be the same.
and how did our hero die? was he ripped to shreds by the menacing claws of sabertooth? not exactly. did he go down in a blaze of glory against the fire controlling pyro? nope. he was shot. that's it. bang. game over. on a team of wolverine, collossus, nightcrawler, storm, gambit, angel, beast, emma frost, etc., Cypher is the weakest link. hell, even cyclops could survive someone pullig a gun on him...unfortunatley.

Without a hesitation, as mentioned before.

Jar Jar Binks.

What.
The.
Fuck.

-Al

Anastasia Dualla.

For a character with admitted father issues, belonging to a despised religion, and being second to a half crazy blond bitch.And with these issues to draw from Dee was about interesting to watch as Billy after the second season.

Then as the Forth Season rolls on the Fleet find a "earth" is an uninhabitable nuclear wasteland and everyone is bummed. Everyone but Dualla who weasels a free drunk out of Apollo and decides to air out her head with a fucking space glock.

But the jokes on you Dee, because of the clusterfuck which is space life and the tragedy of new earth being a shithole, no one cared. You lived. You Died. No one cared.

She was cute though.

Boo grammar. Learn to proof read before posting.

I'm gonna go for a 2 for 1 here.

Anakin Skywalker of the Jedi and Darth Vader of the Galactic Empire. Not only is he directly responsible for the ultimate downfall of both the Jedi Order and the Galactic Empire he never does anything to deserve the positions of authority he's given.

Anakin Skywalker is overflowing with Midichlorians, he's the most powerful Jedi ever. We wouldn't know however since, all he ever does is kill Sand People and Kids...sorry "younglings."

True, he also kills a lot of Droids, but so did the Gungans, I'm not giving him credit for that one.

Skip ahead a couple decades and all he does as Darth Vader is march around physically abusing old men. He can't even be fully credited for blowing up Alderan, It's not like Vader had any hand in designing or building the Death Star.

So, in closing.
Anakin is given the title of "Chosen One", we're told he's super strong in the force and yet he's constantly outshone by every other Jedi in the universe in terms of skill and competence.
He's given the position of Darth Sidious' apprentice which is hardly an honour since the sinister schemes of the Sith Lord relies heavily on the complete and total lack of common sense from everyone in the Jedi Order or the Senate.

And once he turns evil he just spends all his time beating up the defenseless.

Luke and Vader have been mentioned, as well as Jar Jar, but I really need to reiterate the worthlessness of Jar-Jar Binks. Lucas created this character as the comic relief (taking the job from R2 and Threepio) for Episode 1, but also sets him up as the cute/goofy character that kids will adore. And yet he comes off as the most hated character in the history of Star Wars. Sure you can get into technicalities with Luke and Vader, but NO ONE actually likes Jar-Jar. I think some people can tolerate him, but I've yet to meet anyone who actually enjoys Jar-Jar as a character (and I hope to keep it that way).

Jar-Jar is a Gungan...get the auditory pun? Jar Jar/Gun Gun...ha ha ha...*sigh*. Right off the bat we're unimpressed. He takes us to his city, which is actually pretty cool, and all the Gungans there are far more interesting. And yet he's nothing like them; Voice, appearance, anything. He's about as far removed from his own people as possible. Probably why he was banished. Not even those most similar to him could stand him.

And if you think Luke did everything Yoda told him not to, look at Jar-Jar. He does everything people tell him not to, plus everything that common sense would tell you not to do.
-A stampede and giant lumbering land-ships are headed at him, he stands still.
-He returns to the city he was banished from, because he forgot he was banished.
-While the Jedi try and concentrate on steering their Bongo away from giant sea monsters, he screams belligerently.
-They ask him not to touch anything at Watto's, so he turns on all the droids and is carrying an armful of parts and junk by the time they leave...which he drops all over the floor.
-He uses his tongue to grab a dead animal to eat that is hanging in a store-owners market booth, not realizing he would have to pay for it....in a MARKET!
-Then instead of paying for said food (after slobbering on it), or returning it and apologizing, he sling shots it into a cafe, hoping that no one will notice.
-While helping to fix the Pod Racer (he can fix a pod-racer, but doesn't know that you need to buy things in a market before eating them?) he's told to watch out for the power couplings, which he promptly puts his face into.
-Shortly after he gets his fingers stuck in a turbine that's about to be turned on. Instead of trying to unwedge them, he tries walking away. When that doesn't work, and he requires help to save him from this indecipherable puzzle.
-When at the pod race, he positions himself next to a hairless Emu's ass so that he can be the first recipient of a fart joke in the Star Wars Universe. (Thanks for classing things down a bit Lucas/Binks)
-And in the field of battle, he hurls energy balls towards his own troops, gets himself tangled the remains of a destroyed droid, wastes ammo, and gets his second in command (who should rightfully be leading the attack) captured.
-Later on down the road, he's ultimately responsible for putting the Emperor in power. One can only hope between episodes 3 and 4 he's hung for crimes against the Universe.

The only thing he does right in all the movies, is showing the Nabooians where the Gungan secret place is. So giving up the most closely guarded secret of his race is the one commendable act he performs.

Even design-wise Jar-Jar fails. Okay, appearance I won't fault him. The look is passable, despite looking like the inbred retard version of a Gungan. But his voice....sweet mother of monkeys that voice kills me. I think 80% of the unbearable nature of Jar-Jar is the voice. And I'm not talking the goofy "Meesa deesa" talk. I mean the sound that Ahmed Best does the Worst. "Darths and Droids" nails it in that the voice is something that a 7 year old girl might make up. High-pitched, constantly on the verge of screaming, with an Elmer Fudd speech impediment. Really!?! That's the best you could come up with? You decided to redub all of Ray Parks lines to make Darth Maul sound cooler by hiring a Shakespearian actor with a deep badass voice. But for Jar-Jar, who has 20 times as much screen time AND 50 times as many lines, you stick with the voice that every single child invented in 1st Grade as their first "funny voice". Really?!? Was the executive approval process for Jar-Jar headed up by a Pre-School class? Because I can't imagine any one else finding that to be screen-worthy.

And lastly, there's his catch phrase, "How rude!", or more accurately "How wude!". *sigh*.... Maybe I'm on my own with this, but that catch phrase was beated to bloody horse pulp by middle daughter, Stephanie Tanner, on Full House over their 8 season run from the late 80's into mid 90's. Perhaps in those early seasons when Stephanie was a little girl, that catch phrase was kind of cute. As time wore on, so did the joke, and yet the continued to use it. When Full House left the air in 1995 I think we were all ready to put "How rude!" into the vault with "I've fallen and I can't get up!", "Where's the beef?" all of which would have soon been joined by "Yeah, Bay-bee!". But no. Lucas couldn't let bad catch-phrases lie. He had to resurrect it for the worst character ever created for the SWU, and breath it new life nearly 10 years after the catch phrase had already been annoying. He even worked in an "Ex-squeeze me" which is utterly dumbfounding.

Now I'm all about allowing Star Wars to be accessible to children. Hell! I grew up on the original trilogy. But Jar-Jar is the kind of character that makes kids hate adults for the kind of ridiculous content that they think kids love. Kids aren't stupid. My favorite movies in elementary school were Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Princess Bride. They didn't need catch phrases and characters dumbed down for pre-adult digestion. They only needed to be good, PG, and without too much horrifying content (a little face melting goes a long ways when you're 6). And yet adults (or perhaps I should just say dumb-fuck movie makers) still seem to think that there has to be "Something for the kids" otherwise kids won't enjoy it. As if the lightsabers, aliens, robots, spaceships, monsters and non-stop adventure won't appeal to kids. Nope. Kids refuse to watch anything that doesn't have some mongoloid bumbling around screen rehashing catch phrases from 10 years ago while being farted upon. I mean, that's why I loved the original Star Wars so much as a little little kid. That part where Han Solo asks "Whatchoo talkin' bout, Willis?" in the cantina before he shoots Greedo, and then when he gets up Luke's lightsaber training droid flies by and hits him in the balls, and his pants fall down and Chewie farts on him. I'm pretty sure that was the scene that made everyone in the Academy stand up, cheer, and nominate Star Wars for Best Picture that year.

*sigh*

And now we have to put up with Ahsoka in Clone Wars....Skyguy? Artooie? and Anakin even calls her Snips?

Hmmmm try and rally together all those zillions of Star Wars fans that have been turned off by the low-brow nature of the new trilogy with a serious show of Lucas-calibur quality? No wait!!!! Lets make a dumbed down show to get kids into Star Wars with more retarded characters and cute catch phrases, thus further alienating the people who loved and made Star Wars the worldwide phenomenon that it is!!!

Brilliant! Fund it!!!

Amadeus Cho in the mighty avengers seems an obvious one. I maen sure having someone with smarts is fine, but we have Hank Pym and his mental instability for that, we don't really NEED a powerless kid who's a little bit less intelligent.

..... though he is a cool character... i'll shut up

Ok, the weakest link?

This is a tough one, since it seems that almost EVERY animated program had one of these people.

But I can't choose just one.

Lion-O from Thundercats:

Okay, bear with me here. Unless I only experienced an episode one that occurred during a caffeine overdose, Lion-O was the same age and Kit and Kat, until they had to leave home on a spaceship and travel to Third Earth.

Lion-O gets into a pod that is malfunctioning, a wakes up as PHYSICALLY as old as Cheetarah and the other adults.

Only he isn't mentally as old. So Lion-O is a strange mentally-challenged man-boy... who talks to the ghosts of his father... and uses a sword that shrinks and grows on command... dispite the fact that they have spaceships and energy weapons.

Proof that he is a little bit, as Carlos Mencia might say, DE-DE-DE:

He has severe obsessive compulsive disorders.

1. He feels compelled to talk to the ghost of his father that no one else can see. Why is a mentally-deficient man-boy suddenly, just because he is the prince, the leader of a group of humanoids on a hostile alien world. He is no more mature than Willykat and Willykit, but now must be looked upon for sage wisdom from people including a woman who may have his mother, or at least his father's concubine. His answer, talk to the ghost of his father in a style that Luke Skywalker and Obi-Won would have been proud of, likely cause Thundara and Third earth were in the same galaxy far far away and Alderon was only about six or seven light-years away.

Now that I think of it, I know that you see the ET aliens in the wide shot of the republic senate, but has anyone looked to see if Snarf is on one of those floating upside-down portabella mushrooms?

2. He constantly returns the only weapon (and shield) that can defeat Mum-Ra(More on him later in this rant) to a special room in the complex that is neither easy to get to, but not secured enough that anyone couldn't lay their hands on it if only they knew their way through the labyrinth.

3. He insists on not carrying the only weapon known to defeat Mum-Ra on his person at all times, especially while sleeping.

4. He is compelled to activate the afor-mentioned weapon in a manner that should be reserved for a Sailor-scout. How many of us can say Thunder! three times fast without needing a pause to catch our breath in between, while posing with it as though we were either the long-lost reincarnation of a long-dead soldier from the silver millenium, or one of Duncan McCloud's enemies from the second season of Highlander just before they engage in honorable combat?

5. He also insists on using the weapon as a signaling device instead of asking Panthro, (who looked more like a clothed spawn of Dr. Millenium from the watchmen than a panter btw) to make some kind of communicator for the purpose of summoning aid until middle of the second season I think.

Yes, the Eye of Thundara was powerful. Yes, Lion-O got better (relatively speaking). But wait, then they revealed that their were already Thundarans on third earth, meaning Panthro and Tigra(I would think any furrae could tell me that is a woman's name) had not been building devices or scanning for signs of friendlies on the planet they themselves were stuck on.

Shoddy leadership, and Lion-O never got a penis as an adult. They say you should control the pet population, but if Thundarans had not spayed and neutered their prince and subjects, Third Earth might have had a chance.

Wait, what if they had bothered to capture and waterboard a Plun-darian and find out the Mum-Ra has a crypt he must recharge in. Then defeat him, wait for him to go rest and FIREBOMB THE LIVING ***T outta the place!

Why must all the Heroes act noble? They should act real.

Lion-O wasn't a lion, he was a Pussy De-De-De.

Ok,I know this has been brought up at least twice already,and I have absolutely no freakin' chance of winning,but I'm gonna just post it anyway.

I've been watching anime for pretty much my whole life,and came upon a little show called Naruto.

But there's one thing I'm absolutely certain of after about 3 years of watching:

Masashi Kishimoto HATES women

As you all know,it involves ninja teams of three fighting baddies in order to level up they're rank from Genin to Jounin and even Hokage.(I know that's not all it's about,but please bear with me) Most of them consist of two guys and a girl,and they almost always suck.

Let's start with the luckiest of the bunch,Sakura Haruno,and by lucky, I mean she stopped sucking after some much needed character development.But at first she couldn't do a single useful thing even if the fate of the entire universe rested on her small,sucky ass hands.All she ever did was yell at Naruto,swoon over Sasuke,be a smart-ass and freak out whenever someone got even the slightest little scratch.And anything she was ordered to do,she either fucked up or got the job done for her,like when she was supposed to protect that bridge builder during the Zabusa arc,Kakashi had to stop Zabusa anyway or she and Tasuna(sp?) would have been skewered.Or when they were becoming Genin,she could not do anything to help them get the bells because she faints when she sees Sasuke "near death" and again when she sees his "severed" head on the ground instead of,you know,actually trying to help him?!
But to be fair,as the show progressed,she steadily improved to the point where in Shippuuden,she kicks some major ass.

Next is Ino Yamanaka,who isn't necessarily that bad of a character to begin with.She can be a pretty good leader at times and can be a useful spy(if there was any spying on the show to begin with),but she did so while being a pain in the neck.She bitched,she moaned,she was obsessed with her looks(just like Sakura) and obsessed over Sasuke(hey,just like Sakura!).And then she had a technique where she transfers her soul into another person for as long as she wanted,while that would've been pretty useful on a spying mission...in combat,it's practically suicidal,cause not only does anything that happens to said person reflect on her body,but if no one's watching her body,it leaves it open for attack.Not to mention that Shikamaru makes a better leader than her and that everyone is better than her in Shippuuden and the fact that in Shippuuden she gets a slutty outfit.

Then we have Hinata Hyuga,who IMHO could've been easily the best female character in the whole fucking show.She's heiress to one of the most powerful clans in Naruto,so that means that she has killer ninja powers and an eye technique that can see trough technically anything...the problem is that she's too much of a fucking pussy to use them properly.Ok,she is useful with her squad,but in battle?
Nope.

She just gets her ass handed by practically everyone in the first part.

And she can't even hold a simple conversation Naruto for more than five seconds without blushing/stuttering/fainting,so how in the world is she gonna confess her love for him?(though Naruto is a dumbass,so it's not entirely her fault)

Ten Ten,who Kishimoto didn't like her enough to give her a last name,barely shows up on the show at all,which pisses me of because she could really be awesome.On anyother show,she would've been a godsend,cause she can handle any ninja weapon at her disposal,is deadly accurate,keeps everything in neat little scrolls and can shoot them simultaneously at her opponents.though she does have her flaws,those could be easily improve with a little character development.The problem is that we almost never see her,and when we do,she either just talks,gets her ass kicked or needs saving.Way to go,sir,in turning a potentially kick-ass character into a steaming pile of horse crap!

And lastly,Temari,who along with his brothers,also didn't have the luxury of a last name,just gets humiliated during the whole Chuunin exam arc,and not to mention that she sorta was a bitch at first.

You gals are the weakest links,Goodbye.
Sadly,it's none of you're faults.

Before Lost there was another group of crash survivors who landed on a mysterious island inhabited by protective locals and occasional visitors. Only this show wasn't as funny. Gilligan's Island.

Gilligan himself would perhaps too obviously have to be the weakest link ever. How many times would the professor have perfected the coconut satellite radio or banana powered jet engine if not for the bumblings of the skipper's "little buddy."

Among other goofs, Gilligan activated bombs, repeatedly smacked people on the head, broke the radio, broke the transmitter, broke the signal mirror, put the last flare on the Skipper's birthday cake, ignored warning signs on boxes that washed up on shore, hid in a cloud when he had been given a jetpack, broke a functioning NASA camera, wasted three wishes, and spilled the water supply, not to mention the fact that he caused the shipwreck that stranded them on the island to begin with.

Now IMDB says they're working on a film to be released in 2011. Maybe JJ Abrams will direct.

It has to be Matter-Eater Lad, right? The gluttonous fellow has the power to eat anything and everything.( I thought my Aunt Gussie was the only person with this power.) I realize that the Legion of Super Heroes is replete with weak links due to its super power inflationary cycle, but this guy takes the cake. (My God, I'm funny.)

I'll go with Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell. She wasn't nearly as good looking as Kelly, and her very presence on the show was anti-funny. In fact, the very best episode of the show (the one where the gang went to the mall to get tickets for a U2 concert) didn't feature her at all! Coincidence? Absolutely not! Her dialogue was more or less poison. As an impressionable young teen at the time, I don't need an earful of her nonsense about women being equals, and caffeine being bad for you. If there's one thing Saved by the Bell taught all of us, it's that you can get out of any pickle in life with carefully planned lies. Additionally, you can still become the 2nd coolest guy in school by wearing acid wash jeans with a bright orange muscle shirt tucked into it, whilst sporting a Jheri curl/mullet hybrid. Jessie was the antithesis to all of that, with her constant "hard work" and "straight A's" propaganda. Interesting to note she's probably the least successful cast member these days. Coincidence? Absolutely not!

Umaro didn't fail nearly as badly as Realm. At least when you give Umaro the blizz orb he deals massive (non-physical) damage. Realm just sucked horribly and was only a plot point for Shadow.

That stupid Oolong pig in DBZ...I mean beside wearing a communist suit and saving the world by asking for "the most confortable pants ever mad" whats the point of having this guy around for more than 300 episodes ??!! seriously !

I'm gonna say Perceptor from Transformers. The dude turns into a fucking MICROSCOPE! I'm sure that ability comes in REAL handy when you're fighting Megatron. The only memorable thing I can remember him ever doing was informing the other Autobots that Optimus Prime was gonna die

Shinji Ikari from Evangelion.

Let me state I love eva I still watch it, but Shinji Was the weakest link on that show. If you haven’t seen it I don’t think you can call yourself an anime fan. Also I may be saying spoilers so just a heads up.

Lets start, he's the main protagonist of the show and I use that loosely, which make it even worse when your weakest link is your star of the actual show.

Now I think the show is great and what they did with these characters giving them such horrible mental conditions and problems makes it even more interesting, but in reality if Shinji just never came to Nerv the world will still be in one piece.

1. He has major father issues and needs his constant approval worse than a fucking school girl. And when he gets it, it doesn't even make him that happy. (His father is a dick so we can’t knock him too much for that.)

2. I used to think asuka was just a bitch, but she was the voice of reason in this crazy ass show now you can argue that she was completely useless in the fights, but its shinji that dooms us all not her and I think she would have been fine if she was given the damn support of Nerv with out Shinji. Her and Rei would have taken out most of the angels, on their own.

3. Now lets get into the technical problems with this character. Constantly bitches about the place but never fucking leaving even when everyone hates him or he doesn’t even have a friend around he still just stays. He could have left any fucking time but never did.

4. His best friend Toji becomes an eva Pilot and his Eva turns into an Angel to be taken down by Nerve. Now Shinji in his Eva was told to stop the Angel the once Eva unit 03 Now Shinji was just told to stop this thing as it tore him and the city around him apart, but he refused because he didn’t want to fight another Eva pilot. He wasn’t told to kill the pilot just stop the eva. He could have ended it just by crippling the Eva unit and actually saving the Pilot by pulling him out of the plug if he wanted.

What transpired was all Shinji’s fault and he could have prevented it if he wasn’t such a chicken shit. Argue all you want about his father using the dummy plug AI system to finish the job and Crippling or Killing Toji (depending on the anime or manga). But he had to do it to stop the threat and Shinji sits their like he’s righteous for not fighting than has the balls to want to attack Nerv and his father for doing this.

5. Does not fucking follows any fucking order given to him even though NERV is their to support and aid him he just does not listen worth shit. Nearly getting himself and a bunch of people killed because of it. After the whole Toji thing and nearly using his eva to threat to kill everyone in it he gets arrested and handcuffed. Still whining about his father.

6. Finally when he’s in the mist deep shit of NERV and all their doing he decides nows the time to leave and let the world be crushed by the Angel threat. If they never took the time to train him so much and focused more on Asuka and Rei in fighting they would have been more ready and could have taken care of the angel on their own. The head of Asuka’s eva unit was sent flying and killing all the people hiding underground where shinji was at at the moment. Should have been him.

7. He actually isn’t that good of a fighter with his Eva most of the time the Eva acts on its own accord when in berserk mode he just sort of sits for the ride.

8. Not a good strategist his attacks are pretty much shoot stab go berserk.

9. Now here’s where it really hits the fan (Warning this will go into detail of End of Evagenlion so their maybe major Spoilers )

Seele wanted to turn the humans back into their single organism of combined souls using Eva Unit 01 causing Third impact. They pretty much needed Shinji for this to happen otherwise their entire plan would have never worked. Since Shinji was the only one who could pilot eva unit 01.

He’s been completely depressed through most of the series and makes Emo kids feel sorry for him, he has been bitching he wants to die even nearly gets killed when a UN soldier puts a gun to his head he just sit there waiting for it to happen, His damn guardian comes to save him. Than just lays their like a lump while she pulls his arms, he drags his legs. He was soooooo emotionally disturbed and wanted to kill himself especially now or at least said he wanted to.

SO finally he gets in eva , Rei turns into what ever the fuck she was some giant bitch Angel thing he finds out the truth about what is really going on. Now he’s the pisser right before the commandments and ritual take place he could have prevented it by self destructing eva unit 01 as rei II did in previous episode and preventing Third Impact from ever happening.

You could argue that he made that up by rejecting the plan after it happened and returning to earth and some shit but lets face it the world would be in better shape if it didn’t happen to begin with.

Everyone wouldn’t be a floating firefly in the fucking sky. A giant freaky bitches head wouldn’t be sitting in the fucking ocean, I don’t even want to know what the environmentalist has to say on this one And Asuka wouldn’t be the last human girl left on earth with a limp dick Shinji seriously if they are Adam and Eva I feel sorry for the new generation of their kids. Cain and Able have nothing on the horror their kids will face with those two as parents that is if Asuka doesn’t kill him first. Dick tried to strangle her I’d get a restraining order.

If you don’t understand a lot of what happens at the end of my rant than you need to just watch Eva cause I could write a college thesis on this show that would span 50 pages, and still not cover all of it.

WTF? Am I blind, or did no one else mention this? Really? The most obvious one of all? I'm going to have to be the one? It's a firmly established fact.
Alright, here goes:
Rodimus.
Fucking Rodimus from Transformers: The Movie.
Not only does he spend most of his time hanging out with some punk-kid which would be weirdly pedophilic if he wasn't a robot, but he got OPTIMUS PRIME killed, back before that didn't happen every second episode. Optimus had everything locked up. He was about to blow Megatron's circut board out all over the landscape when Rodimus decides to warn Optimus about the gun Megatron's got hiding. No shit Megatron has a gun: HE IS A GUN!!! Does he simply shout, "Hey Optimus, he has a gun!" No, he has to run out there and be turned into Megatron's human shield, only he's a robot. Then the un-fucking thinkable happens and Megatron caps Optimus. He doesn't even bother with Rodimus afterwards, that's how sad he is. Optimus holds on just long enough to pass on the Matrix of Leadership to Ultra Magnus (ribbed, for her pleasure), only Rodimus fucks up again by catching it when it falls from Prime's hand and ends up becoming Rodimus Prime, which no one is cool with. Everyone knows you have to be a big, bitchin' truck if you want to lead the Autobots, not some gay ass space-car.
Rodimus eventually ends up destroying Unicron (after Unicron destroys countless worlds, Autobots, etc.), only I use the term "destroy" quite loosely, because Unicron comes back about fifty times. Even after such a stellar acomplishment (chalked up to blind luck) Rodimus is replaced as leader pretty damn quickly.
More pathetic than Rodimus, however, is Perceptor, an Autobot that transforms into a giant microscope. Other transformer can turn into cars, or boomboxes that spit out tapes that become robot animals, or at the very least can blend in with a crowd. If you see an ambulance beside you, you're not going to think anything's weird, aside from the giant Autobot sticker on it, and the fact no one's driving. If you see a giant microscope, you're going to get a little suspicious. Perceptor uses his microscope thingie to analyze Optimus, saying something along the lines, "This doesn't look good." No shit, he's got a fucking hole in him.

My vote goes to DC's Vigilante, the cowboy version not the legacy nutter in the ski mask. When I first saw him in JLU, I thought he was just an in-joke added to group shots by animators. How wrong I was. The cartoon actually wanted us to believe that a cowboy was a legitimate member of the Justice League. He's not even a super cowboy. He's just a rip-off of The Lone Ranger without anything that made The Lone Ranger memorable. Instead of Tonto, he was partnered with Stuff the Chinatown Kid. After Stuff was slain by his arch-nemesis The Dummy, he conscripts Stuff Jr. as his new sidekick. Did I mention his arch-nemesis was a lame precursor to the already dubious Ventriloquist & Scarface?
Vigilante doesn't have any cool gear to supplement his lack of powers. He carries six-shooter, which need reloading and are ineffective against the sort of foes the JL usually faces. He's a master of the lasso, which is redundant since Wonder Woman is mistress of the magical Golden Lasso of Truth. He rides a motorcycle, which doesn't go with his cowboy theme. A fire-breathing vampire horse would've been much better. He just wears normal clothes instead of some sensible armor to protect himself. He conceals he secret identity behind a kerchief, which would be very easy for foes to yank off or blind him if suspended upside-down. Not that his identity is very secret. He works as a country radio singer Greg Sanders, so any villain with a fondness for country music could easily figure out he’s DC’s version of Garth Brooks the moment he talks. I’m sure this factored into a midget disguised a dummy figuring out which racially-insensitive sidekick to kill.
Vigilante has no business being in the JLU. The human among Demi-Gods quotient is already filled by Green Arrow and Batman, and I’m still iffy if they should qualify for membership. This guy would definitely be a liability in any situation. He couldn’t even fly a spaceship in the cartoon. He’s even the lamest member of The Seven Soldiers of Victory, since he teammates either had keen gadgets or written well by future writers. The Nebula Man even sent him back to the old west for being so obsolete. Grant Morison had the good sense to kill him with a giant spider. The only time he was remotely cool was when Nathan Fillion voiced him in the cartoon. This is just a testament to Fillion being able to transmute crap into gold. (I double-checked.) Vigilante just monopolizes JLU benefits packages that should be going to superheroes that aren’t terminally retarded cowboy stereotypes.

Since multiple entries have featured Aquaman, I wish to go even lower. That's right: Lower than Aquaman. Ladies and gentlemen, the only thing lower than a guy who can swim really well and talk to fish is the guy who spends every waking hour wanting to defeat the guy who can swim really well and talk to fish...but can't. The Weakest Link is the Legion of Doom/Injustice League's Black Manta.

First and foremost-the dude's obsessed with fighting Aquaman and continuously fails. That's like a bully targeting the scrawniest kid in school and then having that scrawny kid kick his ass.

Secondly, no one even knows why the hell he's after Aquaman anyway. Seriously, check out his origin page at DC's website. They go with piracy. According to wikipedia, Black Manta was first pissed off that Aquaman didn't prevent him from being kidnapped, and then this was later retconned into autism. Yes...autism. DC better pray a special interest group doesn't catch wind of that one.

Where he gets the technology for a helmet that fires lasers and a Manta Sub, nobody fucking knows. Somehow, someway he has the smarts or the money to have all of this high tech equipment, but instead of doing something productive or at least profitable with it, he obsesses over a guy who can talk to fish.

Yes, Black Manta does kill Aquaman's infant son, but still, this would be like the Green Goblin killing Ms. Lyon; Evil but fairly pathetic and not very challenging. So ironically, he's done something far more evil than his peers, but let's face it, the Legion of Doom only included him as a member so everybody else could feel better than themselves.

In brief, Black Manta: Suckier than Aquaman

Inspector Gadget

The best the jackass can do is magoo his way into dragging his niece and dog through one life threatening situation after another only to have them save the day. Not only is he the weakest link on the entire show hes a colossal douche for taking the credit. Plus the Fucking show is named after him, He does nothing but irriatate and fuck up for 22 minutes and the show is named after him. The Show should have been called "Dr. Claw and his amazingly inept attempts to kill a bumbling idiot while getting his ass handed to him by a 12 year old and a bad luck"
But "Inspetor gadget" is shorter so i guess that had to do.

Cosmos from Transformers. What was he? A UFO? Did he stumble upon Earth at a later date? Was he even an Autobot at all? Or did he just stumble into the headquarters needing a place to stay?

The toy version was ridiculously stupid. He was a fucking Go-Bot come to infiltrate the Transformers line. I never actually saw this guy in stores, but I swear, every yard sale had one. There was always a large box of old toys for a dime, and like a glitch in the Matrix, there was Cosmos... scraping the bottom in each and every single one. Buried underneath naked Barbies, My Little Ponies, and those little transforming foods you could get in Happy Meals. Which were WAY cooler than Cosmos.

And then on the show! Oh, Sweet Christ. You just knew that Optimus Prime wanted to punt him into the Sun. A lot of the Transformers were characterizations of famous people: Prime was John Wayne, one of them sounded like Gregory Peck. Was Cosmos supposed to be Peter fucking Lorre? I think he sounded like Peter fucking Lorre. I guess they couldn't get a Sydney Greenstreet impression down during rehearsals. THEY EVEN GAVE HIM HIS OWN BUMPER IN BETWEEN COMMERCIAL BREAKS!!!

I hate you Cosmos. Wherever you are.

Donkeylips from Salute Your Shorts.

Donkeylips was the "fat kid"

We had Dina: the rich chick whose money helped situations Mike (later Pinskey): The "everyman" of the group
Budnick: a ginger pre-teen version of "Jay"
Telly: the athletic token black girl
ZZ: the artsy ditsy girl
Sponge: the nerdy kid

Donkeylips was good at nothing, ate the insanely rationed food, and flubbed up pretty much everything (sneaking out, stealing from the kitchens, keeping secrets). Nobody liked him.

The actor, Michael Ray Bower, went on to such illustrious roles as Monica's old prom date on Friends, had a role in Dude where's my car, Evolution, did a stint in Scientology, was on Singled Out, and has tried to be a rapper.

Just look at his IMDB page! Horrible.

Hands down Jason Todd. In 1988 American nerds voted his death.
Ripped off story from Dick Grayson, Check.
Disgustingly cheery attitude, Check.
Blown up by the Joker, Check.
When he appeared in Hush a resounding Cartmanish "meh" could be heard throughout the nerdiverse.
Jason Todd, you are hereby condemned by the most official voting methodology available, the 1-900 number, as the weakest link. Goodbye!

I see various characters from Heroes surfacing so I would like to make my own Heroes' nomination for weakest link - Tim Kring.

Kring is the creator, the executive producer and showrunner of Heroes. He's the one in charge of the writing staff including at one time or another Bryan Fuller, Jeph Loeb, Michael Green, etc. He's the one who comes up with and/or approves episode ideas and the direction of the season. To give you some background on Kring before Heroes he brought you such fine product as Crossing Jordan and Teen Wolf Too. He also wrote the episode of the original Knight Rider where KITT is possessed by a voodoo priest.

After Crossing Jordan ended he was approached by NBC for a show that was similar to Lost (I don't know). He pitched Heroes. He's a big comic book fan, right? Right? Lots of reporters asked that question before the show premiered and his response --

"No I'm not and not for any other reason than I never really got into them. Partially it's because I'm not the greatest reader in the world and whatever particular reading problem I have is exacerbated by the dialogue bubbles and not knowing where your eye is supposed to go so I end up getting frustrated. Or at least I did at a young age so I just never ended up reading them. "

That's right. Tim Kring cannot manage an issue of, say, Jughead.

What he does do well (or at least consistently) is bungle things and then apologize. He messed up the whole Zach is gay thing and then apologized, called fans who still watch the show on a regular old tv "saps and the dipshits" and then apologized, executive produced season two and then apologized for the quality, executive produced season three and then apologized for the quality. He also got sued for stealing the psychic painter character from a short film but in that case he didn't apologize he hired a lawyer.

To be honest I stopped really watching Heroes at the end of season one. Having once watched an episode of Crossing Jordan with my grandmother I knew that anything I found appealing about Heroes was coming from Bryan Fuller and not Kring. With Fuller leaving I decided to cut my losses and not bother with the show anymore. Now even with Fuller's return I don't think I can watch it again unless NBC buys out Kring and send him packing.

I would have to say Bart and lynn from fist of the north star. They just existed to draw Kenshiro into traps. Plus the live action movie. Bart was played by Rufio! Ruuuuufiiiooo. nuff said =)

Joey Tribbiani from Friends
In his own words:
"Cause I'm a Tribbiani, and this is what we do! I mean, we may be not great thinkers, or world leaders, don't read a lot, or run very fast... but damn it, we can eat!"
OK, we've got a guy who can't think, can't lead, can't even read or run, and will eat all of your food. The only thing he left out is that he'll sleep with your girlfriend if you turn your back on him. I mean, is this really a guy that we want around?

There have been a lot of useless characters on Lost, something the writers seemed to notice pretty quick when they started knocking them off like beercans on a redneck’s back fence: Boone, Shannon, Charlie, Claire, Walt, pretty much everyone from the ‘tail section’ etc ... all of whom contributed about half an episode of passable material before flaming out as uselessly as possible.

But there has been one holdout character that has continued to survive, seemingly integral to the whole mystery despite the fact that she has contributed absolutely NOTHING to the plot, ensemble or mythology of the show.

I am speaking of course, of KATE.

The only remotely interesting thing about the character was the reveal that she was the fugitive on the plane. Even that was rendered boring when we found out she was there for killing her abusive stepfather. She couldn’t even hide well, managing to get her best friend killed while on the run.

That all quickly becomes a moot point after the marshal she was travelling with dies, and then the writers suddenly don’t know what to do with her besides being the weakest link of a love triangle between Jack and Sawyer. For reasons of keeping her relevant she suddenly becomes a survival expert.

She fluctuates wildly between being the damsel in distress, or utter useless and tagging along with the other characters like an afterthought, or being wildly over-competent whenever the writers need for a strong female lead and the much cooler Juliette isn’t hanging around.

It is pretty telling when you find out that the Kate character was originally suppose to become one of the leaders of the survivors, but they quickly replaced her with the even blander Jack. Track down Evangeline Lilly’s audition reel on youtube and you being to speculate that it must have been a very shallow casting pool these guys where fishing in. She acts like the overachiever in a grade school play.

Seriously, the Island has killed for less and yet why we are all still subjected to the whiny, indecisive, overacting for five long seasons is utterly beyond me. You can almost hear the audible groans from Lost fans whenever it is Kate’s turn for a flashback episode (yes, maybe giving Aaron back to his biological family would make sense you insane babynapping freak!) Maybe keeping her alive is the only reason Jack hasn’t totally slipped into an angst induced coma, but to be honest, I can't see how the show would not be improved by having him crushed under a giant four footed toe as well.

PS: Personally, I go with the theory is that ‘Gilligan’s Island’, ‘Fantasy Island’ and ‘Lost’ are all the same island.

People riffing on the Super Friends/JL should read this page:
http://www.seanbaby.com/super.htm
Oh wait, they already did...

I would have to say Bart and lynn from fist of the north star. They just existed to draw Kenshiro into traps. Plus the live action movie. Bart was played by Rufio! Ruuuuufiiiooo. nuff said =)

The Prince of the Fire Nation on Avatar was played by Rufio.

I would have to say Bart and lynn from fist of the north star. They just existed to draw Kenshiro into traps. Plus the live action movie. Bart was played by Rufio! Ruuuuufiiiooo. nuff said =)

The Prince of the Fire Nation on Avatar was played by Rufio.

I'm going way back for this one -

Snapper fuckin' Carr.

Useless, and eventually betrays the Justice League of America. If he were a real person, I'd beat the living piss out of him just on principle.

What's his powers? None, unless you consider snapping your fingers and being a lame ass as powers.

The Avengers had Rick Jones, another powerless teenage hanger-on, but at least Rick wasn't a douche. Marvel sidekicks - tolerable, DC sidekicks - the drizzling shits. And Snapper is the rotten semi-digested cherry on the pile of that drizzling shitpile.

Ok snarf was my initial choice when I seen the name of this contest, because lets face it he was utterly useless,

Heart from capttian planet is also a great choice because when the going gets tough what the hell he's gonna do, make the bad guy sad that he's whooping his ass??

But I think I have someone to top them all...........

Anyone, and I mean ANYONE with a red shirt from Star trek. I mean in EVERY episode when ever captin kirk and the gang went out doin there space adventures who was the one to always die??,The effing redshirt , they were pawns, they were pawns to Kirks grand space chess game, you NEVER seen an episode where a red shirt saved the day, shit they never even got promoted, if u were a red shirt u either remained a redshit or die a horrible alien-related death ,

I would never have anuff time to read all these post so this could possibly a repeat but..... I think Ma-Ti from Captain Planet with the power of heart would have to be one of the weakest links. Everyone on his team had the power to command the earths elements. The didnt ask the pointed the ring and said the magic word and it would happen pronto. Ma-Ti was a sensitive whimp who only culd as nicely. Animals and what not didnt ave to do jack. Im not even sure he had a power.

I realize I may get some flak for this, but hear me out:

Dr. Gregory House, M.D.

I mean, really think about it.

What does he really do? Aside from miraculously figure out how to cure people suffering from obscure ailments that baffle every other doctor on the planet, snarkily manipulate his friends and coworkers yet somehow come off endearing in the process and manage to score Vicodin no matter what forces try to stop him?

Wasn’t it Dr. Wilson who ionized the coconut milk to generate a magnetic field strong enough to project a make-shift MRI onto palm leaves? And wasn’t Dr. Cutty the one who distracted Darkseid when he came to infiltrate the hospital’s board of directors long enough for House to sedate him? And isn’t it always Dr. Forman who saves the day when my person D&D character that no one’s ever heard of fails his saving thorw?

Oh, wait. I guess… Uhm.

I meant Aquaman.

Does no one else READ the contest parameters? BUY a damn T-shirt, you cheapskates!

- Please leave Ma-ti alone. He was the youngest planeteer at 12 years of age with Gi being the oldest at 20 years of age. I'd expect a 12 year old not to be that wise or developed to really understand his power to the fullest. Heart was somewhat related to mind-control. In the hand of a kind and sensitive 12 year old I don't think he's going to do anything really diabolical like a lot of you want him to do. At 12 the most he's gonna do is ask his animal brothers for help, find people with his heart-telepathy, or read people's heart to tell whether they are good or bad. In the episode where Wheeler said fuck the planteers and time-travels to prevent himself from getting the fire ring he sees a future Ma-ti where Mat-ti is a street bum and homeless. And while Ma-ti isn't evil he uses heart like a Jedi mind trick to get rich pricks to give him money. Probably the tell-tale sign the Ma-ti was probably the strongest planeteer was the episode where the planeteers first meet Zorn and Zorn tricks them all to hand over their rings for his power-gloves. Only Ma-ti said no. The other four (even that ass kisser Kwami) handed their rings over and then became power-mad eco-terrorists. They wouldn't listen to anybody and became somewhat evil. To this day I wondered what would have happened if Ma-ti did take the power-glove version of heart, would he have become some totally evil dick fucking with people's minds, turning Wheeler and Kwami into his warrior slaves while making Gi and Linka his sex slaves? He'd just use his evil-heart power and tell everyone to fuck themselves and then simultaneously the entire human population commits seppuku.

-Jesse Spano is not that bad. You needed her character. She was the perfectionist honor-role bitch and she wasn't that bad looking. AC was the jock. Kelly the cheerleader. Screech the nerd. Zack the prep/cool dude. Lisa the princess. Perhaps Lisa was the most useless of the group, but overall I think all six of them and Mr. Belding were essential. Max from The Max restaurant now that was a waste of human flesh. I almost felt sorry for him as they forced us to watch his lame ass magic acts.

Oh there is also Angel from the X-men;

Cyclops:" Magneto is launching a full blown nuclear attack on New York City ! Com'on Angel ...fly !"

Angel:" All right..."

Oh there is also Angel from the X-men;

Cyclops:" Magneto is launching a full blown nuclear attack on New York City ! Com'on Angel ...fly !"

Angel:" All right..."

@ Darth Luau - You're right. Kate is the definition of "emotional baggage" - She's the woman you REALLY SHOULDN'T date if you know what's good for you. Juliette is way hotter, way smarter, and way stronger as an individual. If you ask me, James was pretty smart to trade up.

And besides; Juliette has the better rack.

I'm going to nominate Rogue from the movie version of X-Men. Now, the comic version actually attained powers that would be considered relatively useful, but movie version Rogue? Should not have even been wearing an X-Men uniform, since she had no actual powers that could be useful to helping the rest of the team and had to be in physical proximity of them in order to actually do something half useful. The whole trilogy mostly involved her being a damsel in distress and then being all depressed because she can't actually directly touch someone. I was glad when she went ahead and got that injection.

Sigh... we have several people making fun of Aquaman, and yet no-one has seen fit to make the obvious "manatee getting chopped up by a boat propellor" connection. Sad.

jesus FUCKING christ do you guys EVER get tired of trying to play devil's advocate and claim that the main character of a series is its "weakest link"? this happens every FUCKING contest; do you people still think it's cool? it's not clever, it's NEVER been clever, and even if you actually cobble some defense together, it's not going to win the contest.

we see main characters fail. why? because we see main characters do everything. they succeed, they fail, they have good times and bad, right before our very eyes. they also come through when they really need to and that's why they're heroes.

weakest links are tangential characters who fuck up EVERY time you see them. who never serve any purpose except to be useless. for chrissakes, MEKANEK HAD A WHOLE EPISODE DEVOTED TO BEING USELESS. and you people fling around luke skywalker like it's cool? it wouldn't be so bad if this type of crap didn't happen EVERY SINGLE CONTEST. and i've only been visiting this site a few months. really, it hasn't gotten old yet?

Lets not forget fred from the angel series. she could not fight, was not funny, hell she did not even have sexy value until she became illeria. she was so useless joss had to have a demon liquify her insides and take her body over so she could be usefull. others may disagree but in my most humble opionion angel should have drained her when he was angelus just for shits and giggles.

The weakest link is without a doubt Xander Cruise/Awesome X from the wildly underrated show Frisky Dingo.
No matter what the mission is or what team he is on he is pure fail, and that is why he is awesome.
notable failures by Billionare Playboy Xander Cruise

1. Has his Xtacle fighting force taken over by hooper and renamed the decepticles because he/she has great tits and gave them a theme song.
2. Attempted to run for president when 33 years old.
3. Was drawn on, had a blonde wig glued on and raped by Ronnie while under interrogation for being Xander Cruise. (although he did successfully steal Ronnie's Robot Pants)
4. Lived as a hobo for over a year for no explicable reason as he had a check for over a billion dollars in his pocket.
5. Set up a stupid and elaborate scheme involving Las Vegas where he would get Killface to give his likeness rights away so he could make an action figure, but at the crucial moment decided he wanted to fuck a cocktail waitress instead. Also his girlfriend was in the room.
6. Is the Father to a horrible Giant Ant Baby.
7. Takes apart one of his Xtacles because he thinks he is a robot. (he is incorrect, and it was blood not hydraulic fluid) Blames Ronnie
8. Gets his fortune stolen by a pimp and a blabitty mouth hooker.
9. Gives away his secret identity to aforementioned blabitty mouth hooker. He was fucking her and his girlfriend walked in so he put on his superhero mask and bluffed it out. Ended up paying hooker 5 million to keep his identity a secret (and a half and half).

The only victory he had was he set off the doomsday device to drive the planet into the sun, however the couplings melted and moved the earth 3 feet from the sun and cured global warming. (Although Killface took credit and won the Democratic nomination for president)

O.K. The answer to this one is simple (it may be controversial) but my answer is Boba Fett. Just look at Daddy Jango's Legacy, first he has a job assasinating the Senator from Naboo, and rather than handle such a big task himself he subcontracts to Zam Wessel, who further passes the buck to poisonous worms. And How did Anican and Obiwan not see this coming? Oh yeah they did see it coming miles away and the customized dart from the planet he was currently staying on, was probably only a little less of a dead give away then sending a signed invite to the Kamino Jaycee's pancake breakfast and clone outing, now granted it took a Jedi Master (all of 30 seconds) to kill Jango , but luckily his clone lives on... First as the genetic template for the stormtroopers a group that can't hit the broadside of a star destroyer with a targeting computer, and secondly By his own personal clone son Boba. who (unless we read every fanfic/novel which tries desperately to make him way more viscious than he ever appeared on film) was not only beat out by greedo for finding solo originally (as he was in Jabba's entourage in the SE) but is killed by a blind man and his pet Wookie! Heck even Jar Jar (who is quite rightly more universally revialed) was more successful against the Droid army on film than any piece of filmed footage makes Boba out to be.

Jamie Herbert: Don't forget the screaming like a little bitch when the blind man knocks him into the Sarlacc pit.

nope, sorry. come on now. that's just trying to be controversial for controversy's sake. you're shoe-horning failures into the character when actually boba fett really doesn't have much screen time in the films to begin with, and most of that time is spent being pretty competent.

he is SOLELY responsible for tracking the rebels to bespin. if not for fett's ingenuity, the rebels might well have escaped detection and gotten away scott free. boba fett is the ONLY one who caught on to their float away with the trash ruse. he is DIRECTLY responsible for furthering the plot of empire strikes back. come ON man.

he not only cashes in on the bounty put out by darth vader, but he cashes in DOUBLE by delivering solo to jabba the hutt, which is basically what sets in motion the entire first act of return of the jedi: rescuing solo from jabba. if not for boba fett, that part of the movie wouldn't have had to happen.

he does die like a punk, but have you ever noticed what he's doing just before he's about to die? he's about to kill luke skywalker, and actually comes pretty close. he's training his wrist rocket directly on luke, who is way too busy fighting skiff guards to notice him. he also manages to tie up luke before being knocked out by the sail barge's deck cannon. during that brief battle, he nearly manages to subdue luke TWICE. how many other star wars villains can claim that?

even in the prequels, where he is on screen for almost no time and is basically a spoiled brat, he still has the smarts to climb aboard slave 1 and try to blow kenobi away with the ship's laser cannons. he damn near pulls it off too. even 14 year old fett is FAR from useless.

please, everyone, stop trying to do these "controversial" entries. this is a perfect example of how they're not even all that well thought out. boba fett has probably a total of twenty minutes of screen time in the entire six star wars films, yet he manages to do quite a bit and in some cases is directly responsible for driving the plot. how in the hell is he a weaker link than mekanek?

Boba died like a bitch, and that's all I'll ever remember about him.

Doc:

Just one thing on Quick-kick vs. Snake-eyes:

Quick Kick had a better singing voice. :)

Of course, Snake-eyes may count for some sort of government quota. No offense meant to anyone, is is being mute considered a handicap? So yeah, even with GI Joe the Musical it's SE 50, QK 1.

Also: Frodo.
Three books on which the premise is that Frodo must throw a ring into a volcano. He doesn't even have to throw it: he could just drop it, for instance. To help him: he has a wizard, a king, an elf, a dwarf and his hommies from the Shire. He gets a magic sword, magic armour, magic bread and even a star in a bottle. Lots of shit goes down that Frodo doesn't necessarily have control over. You can't blame him for Boromir trying to take his ring, or getting bit by a giant spider, but when it comes to the final moments when he reaches the volcano: he can't even walk. His fat bastard friend has to carry him. His sidekick, who arguably has been doing all the hard work like cooking, setting camp, and keeping Gollum from killing them in their sleep, has to carry him UP A MOUNTAIN. When they get inside the volcano, Frodo decides: no, I'm not going to give up the ring, after travelling across the entire continent and running from a Balrog to get there. He Welshes out. Gollum has to bitch up his pretty hand to get the ring off. Frodo completely fails, but he still gets to travel back by a giant eagle to receive his huge, congratulatory hand-job from King Aragorn and every one of his subjects. Then he gets to go off and live with the elves forever and fuck elf bitches with his hairy hobbit penis since he's now the biggest hero in fucking history when HE DIDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING. Point to any character in the books, and they did more than Frodo. Thousands of people died in combat, but all Frodo did was wear a stylish chain on his neck for three volumes. He kept trying to pass off his job onto other people too, when he wasn't tripping ball on the rings power. Fuck Frodo.

Chewbacca. He's intimidating, but does he really do anything? It's implied that he's Han's best friend, but really he more like Han's bitch. He's a co-pilot, he's a fake prisoner, he's a distraction for a probe droid to shoot at, and he's Leia's prisoner in 'Jedi'.

He's incompetent compared to droids. C-3PO beats him at the game Djarik (Thanks Wookieepedia!). And after trying to fix the hyperdrive for an entire movie, R2-D2 does it in a second.

Plus, when he tries to something, they stop him. Such as when he tries to rescue Han from the carbonite.

He's really notable for two things: giving Yoda a piggy-back ride (What are the odds?!) and jacking an AT-ST by yelling the Tarzan holler.

Now Chewie's lovable, but he also brought us Lumpy, Life Day, and the whole Holiday fiasco. The one time Han does something Chewie wants to do and we end up with 'The Star Wars Holiday Special.' No wonder he didn't get a medal.

Laugh it up fuzzball, indeed.

*And I'm obviously taking my information from the movies only. Others may be able to give Chewbacca something to do, but Lucas gave him shit.

@ monkeyboy

while I'm with you on the "controversial choices" you do realize that trying to argue that point is like trying to stop the "FIRST!" douches, right?

Tails in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is an entirely useless entity that had no purpose other than to consistantly die and taunt you by the fact that he could fly and you couldn't. Some games give you a partner and it's cool. Sometimes you can even switch to that partner on the fly, like in the Lego video games. No, in Sonic 2, you were stuck as Sonic as Tails ran around in the background and did nothing. Every time you turned around, the little fucker was getting hit by something and dying. But because he's magical and apparently has infinite lives, he'd always come flying back to continue to fuck your shit up. The developers gave Tails the ability to kill enemies if he successfully landed on them with a jump, but the only time he ever did that was when it was inopertune for you. Like, if you needed to jump on an enemy to cross a large gap, Tails would hit the enemy first and you'd fall to your doom. Little fucker. And then he'd taunt you cause he can fly with his tails that some how rotate on his ass and don't tangle up. Gee, thanks Tails, some fucking help you are.

What's even worse is when you go to the options menu and switch to Tails only mode, you can't even fly! He taunts you with it the entire time you're playing as Sonic but once you switch to Tails, he gets jetlag or something. Fuck him.

Sure, they made him able to fly and swim in Sonic 3, arguably the better game, but Tails will forever suck because of Sonic 2. That and he's easily confused for a girl.

in the spirit of controversial choices, i choose max from where the wild things are.

everyone else is a monster and he's a small child in a costume with a jughead crown.

sure, they made him their ruler, but i'm pretty sure they were just trying to make him feel special. "special", indeed. any one of those monsters coulda stomped the bejeezus outta him.

To all those picking on Aquaman, lets not forget that he had his own show with its own weakest link...Aqualad. His job description was to charge in, get smacked around, and get trapped in a giant clam or something equally useless. Tuskee the pet Walrus was more effective. Aqualad basically was the damsel in distress most of the time.

To illustrate my point, Aquaman has to save Aqualad from villians like Black Manta. Black Manta is weaker than Aquaman, and Aqualad is weaker than Black Manta, making him the weakest link on team weak link.

I was originaly going to go with Snarf because he is utterly worthless, but he isn't really a member of the team because he isn't expected to do anything. He is more of a house cat.

Janet Pym AKA The Wasp from The Avengers and The Ultimates.

Self-centered, whiny, frivolous annoying little bitch who constantly exemplifies the worst suspicions virginal comic book nerds have about women.

BONUS POINTS: Going back to Hank Pym after he beat the shit out of here, and stringing along Captain America in the meantime. You don't cock-tease The Sentinel Of Liberty!

He didn't deserve to be the Weakest Link, but someone had to do it: in the Satellite era Justice League of America, Red Tornado. An android with superhuman strength, processing capacity, and able to generate...well, tornado-force winds; he should have been a formidable opponent. Instead, he was invariably the first guy taken down by the bad guy of the month.

In-story, the writers tried to explain Reddy's repeated beatdowns as a result of him too often charging into battle without thinking. Which doesn't really hold water, since a computerized brain should be able to outthink the Shaggy Man...no, Reddy was the JLA's designated whipping boy, because as a robot, it was his job to get blowed up real good. Not only was frying the Tornado step one in showing a super-villain meant business, Tornado was also easily repairable. He was like the Lego superhero: you might be able to break him into pieces, but they pop right back together again! Unlike, say, Green Arrow or Batman or anyone without "Super" in front of their name.

So tip a glass in honor of Red Tornado: Robot. Hero. Jobber.

Wolfman, I have to disagree. Umaro's magic stat is so low that Blizzard is a waste of a turn. Also, as badly as Relm sucked, she could still use magic and therefore had access to Ultima. She could also equip the Cat Hood, the best helmet in the game, and net you double the money from battles.

Adam Clayton from U2.

Nobody likes the bassist.

Re-read the rules here (I go for a big, famous team, not obscure, from a comic, not a game, ect.)...

I go with Bruce Banner/the Hulk. When he first joined the Avengers. Banner was a useless douchbag, and whenever the Avengers were fighting somebody he'd turn into the Hulk...and attack his own team!

I mean, how many times do you have to get your ass kicked by your own teammate before you think "Hey, maybe having a gigantic, retarded homicidal schizoid who's completely uncontrollable on the team isn't such a great idea..."

Stilt-man would be more useful. Hell, a guy with a ladder would be more useful. At least he won't destroy the entire mansion every time he gets upset.

Don't get me wrong: I love me some good "Hulk Smash!" time, but would you want Banner as a roommate? Or to even car-pool with the dude? Just what kind of insurance did the Avengers have, anyway, to be okay with the Hulk hanging out in the kitchen, eating Tony Stark's lunch?

Hands down, Jubilee.

Lets do a quick rundown of x-men powers, shall we? Regeneration, eye-generated percussion blasts, control of the weather, psychic abilities, transformative powers, hyper-agility... fire-works????

Talk about getting the short end of the genetic stick. Rogue can sap your energy directly from skin contact and jubilee can, well, make little brightly colored explosions of light.

Jubilee is basically the x-men equivalent of Billy Baldwin. Fail.

If we're gonna be picking FF VI characters, Id have to say Cid. I know he's a NPC but seriously... the dude dies from bad fish. And I'm pre-calling Interceptor, for whenever we have a best sidekick contest. Just giving y'all a heads-up.

i pick from t.v., and still a fresh sore for some of us: Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica.

He was such a p-whipped twit, he didn't even need a live girl to kick his ass. He weekly had his ass kicked by his imaginary girlfriend. As a man of Caprica, he gave the cylons access codes to their computers, allowing them to bomb their planet to extinction and start this whole misadventure. As a scientist, he asked for nukes to identify cylons because his imaginary girlfriend told him to. At no point when he asked for the nuke, did he have any clue what he was doing. Later he gave it to one of the models of his crazy, imaginary girlfriend, who then used it to blow up a ship and reveal the location of their new-found wasteland of a home. He picked this new-found wasteland of a home, did nothing in his term as president except fool around with women, incite labor strikes and demilitarize the Galactica, so that when the cylons stroll in, he then offers humanity's resignation, where they are put into concentration camps or up against a firing wall.

When the humans bust out, he steals aboard a cylon vessel, shags half the female cylon population and then leads the cylons to the earth that the humans are searching for in order to get away and live in peace. Once he’s captured by the humans, they put him on trial for all the wrong reasons, let him free because they were dumb enough to vote him president in the first place, where he then forms a religious cult of ditzy women and shags them too, all the while spouting the most nonsensical religious-sounding jibberish.

In the entire miserable story of this latest Battlestar Galactica, he only once, ONCE, helps humans out; the rest of the time he either stymies them, or outright leads them to disaster. He guessed the right place for them to strike at some cylon energy manufacturing plant on an asteroid—and even that was just a lucky guess. All in all, he was the inspector gadget’s idiot twin who, instead of bumbling into the solutions to the crime, commits them. The fact that this simpering toad shagged so many women throughout the show, just made it all the more depressing, and not a little insulting to women.

A couple people picked Doug Ramsey, aka Cypher: i disagree. He was key to defeating the Magus, who was at that moment destroying a planet with the Star Jammers and the New Mutants on it. And he merge with Lockeheed to save the X-men and the New Mutants from Mojo's brainwashing, where, at the end, he gets some sweet, sweet cougar action from Psylocke.

not a bad resume for a wimp.

My vote for the weakest link is for monkey boy.

Here I am, enjoying reading some hilarious stories about fictions greatest bozos when it is interrupted by a hissy fit about picking "controversial" choices of main characters. As if the point isn't to pick a character in a group you think screws up in a way that is totally useless and then argue to back up your claim.

And then, as if that weren't enough, we have to read a sarcastic entry on Max from the Wild Things book to show everyone the error of their ways. Since the fun is in the explanation and not the choice, a sincere entry on Max would have been fun, but now that book is ruined forever for me.

For harshing my beer buzz, monkey boy is the weakest link.

Having not read any of the above, I may be repeating, but anyway.
My vote for weakest link is Gandalf from the LOTR movies.
As a wizard he is a chump, ooooh I can make a crystal glow at the end of a staff, amaze as I talk to a moth. Putting away the joke made of him not just using the eagles to transport the ring to the volcano and dropping it, his lack of skills as a magic man is abundant.
AT NO TIME DOES HE PULL A FIREBALL OUT OF HIS ASS.
Orcs, monsters, and pirates all grouped in an open field are attacking the great city....what does our master of maigic do? Stand around offering pep talks like a guidance counselor, while waving a sword. Where exactly did he get that staff? At the local dollar store, because it does nothing but light up.
Come on man, you fell through the planet going mano e mano with a balrog, but has no spells to wipe out a mass group of enemies?
Come on, even the wizard on the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon pulled an ace out of his hat, literally, when the group needed it.
Frodo is hurt? The elves can handle it, Gandalf doesn't do cure spells.
Armies of evil attacking the world, let's get the trees, the undead and everyone else to do something, because my magoic is only for parties lacking fireworks.

At first I was going to say Scrappy-Doo, but for sheer uselessness it doesn't get much worse than Sancho and Pedro from The Mysterious Cities of Gold. Both are incredibly stupid, fixated only by greed, and utterly fail at being funny for the entire damn series despite being painfully obvious wacky-comic-relief characters. I wish they would have fallen into a pit of lava, or gotten arrested at the end of the series. Something, *anything* to give them payback for all the pain.

Mekaneck sucked as a character but was a pretty cool toy.

I'm going to say Tomoyo from Cardcaptor Sakura.

She made skimpy outfits for her crush Sakura, and then video-taped her fighting at questionable angles.

No powers, no fighting skills...well, her mom was head of an electronics corporation, which could have comein handy, but she mostly used this to get a better video camera.

I think Tomoyo was only useful if you were a lolicon.

Now i know that this will get a lot of hate, and i personally love them, but Daleks are a horrible adversary. Hear me out, ya they say they are perfect and cannot be destroyed, but really, what threat do they really incur? To the doctor, these horrible threats from the furthest reaches of space hardly even scuff his sneakers, but they keep coming back and coming back and he keeps cowering in fear. They are basically a rubbermaid container with an egg whisk on the front and im supposed to tremble in fear of it? hell if i just stay behind the damn thing, i could live there till it died because its weapons only face forward... a major design flaw on their part if you ask me.

@ZeroCorpse & Darth Luau:

I really hate Kate from Lost. I agree with everything that was said about her. I groan every time its going to be a "Kate" episode, much like when you find out its going to be a "Meg" episode on Family Guy.

"he does die like a punk, but have you ever noticed what he's doing just before he's about to die? he's about to kill luke skywalker, and actually comes pretty close. he's training his wrist rocket directly on luke, who is way too busy fighting skiff guards to notice him. he also manages to tie up luke before being knocked out by the sail barge's deck cannon. during that brief battle, he nearly manages to subdue luke TWICE. how many other star wars villains can claim that?" Well Monkeyboy, a tuskin raider took out luke (not nearly but actually, how about that?) As for him cashing in double, come on he was a glorified courier, who followed Vader's orders ( Vader told him to float off in the garbage, Nothing Fett did in any of the saga convinced me he was capable of half that level of planning ) and then turned solo over to Jabba for what was essentially an escort mission. and what was to lose, Darth was gonna pay Boba even if Han died in freezing. and yeah he did scream like a bitch when he died. No matter how cool you think he was Jar Jar was still more effective in battle no matter how sad that is.

What would you do when being shot at, duck and cover? What would you do if being slashed at with a knife/ chainsaw/ pitchfork, duck and cover? What about being attacked by a horde of zombified beasties, duck and cover? If your strategy for all these scenarios was duck and cover, then your probably Ashley Graham from Resident Evil 4. Like some kind of fucked up 50s, cold war short film, she believes the best means of escaping danger is ducking and seeking cover under ... her arms.

Honestly, she's not that stupid sometimes she seeks to hide IN FRONT OF YOUR GUN or run randomly in any direction. Random is a method. In a team that includes a pistol packing Leon Kennedy and femme fatale Ada Wong, Ashley brings the retard skills into the fray. Yes, if there's a bear trap, Ashley will trip it. If there's monsters, she'll get cornered. If there's a right way to go, she'll pick a random direction. Did I mention she's pretty random.

At least in Texas, people like Ashley are put to death. However, this game is set in a more liberal nation, so you have to save her. Good luck with that.

Ashley you are the weakest link.

"Talk about getting the short end of the genetic stick. Rogue can sap your energy directly from skin contact and jubilee can, well, make little brightly colored explosions of light.
Jubilee is basically the x-men equivalent of Billy Baldwin. Fail."

Hey, the fireworks can burn like a motherfucker AD can clow your fingers off, so I'd say Jubilee is useful

Remember Chaozu from Dragonball/Z? Yeah...so do I.

Yajarobi = at least he killed a Piccolo minion and sliced Vegeta's tale off.

Yamucha = sucks, but he did help in DB and was Bulma's boytoy.

Korin = senzu beans.

Kami = Dragonballs.

Popo = racist icon.

But Chaozu... other than being Tenshinhan's fuck doll what did he do? Useless little fuck doll.

Jar Jar Binks. I think he was a mentally retarded alien and he wasn't even very funny. Anakin could have brain damage from having all that force power.
Think about it:
Anakin: "Master Windu I think the Chancellor is a Sith lord."

Windu: "Are you sure? In that case me and some of the other masters will just go over to his place and snuff him out. You wait here. We'll be back in an hour."

Anakin: "I want to come too. You might need someone to get in the way and fuck up everything."

Windu: "How did you find out he was a Sith lord anyway?"

Anakin: "Well... uh...he kinda told me."

Windu: "That's reason enough for you to keep your dumb ass here. Don't you think that's a little suspicious? HE TOLD YOU? C'mon search your feelings man. He's playing you."

Anakin: "I'm pretty sure with my superior force powers I would know that."

Windu: "Stay here before I have to bitch slap you and fuck you up with my lightsaber"

Anakin: "I'll stay here then."

LATER A DYING MACE WINDU AS HE FALLS OUT OF THE WINDOW AFTER BEING STABBED BY BOTH ANAKIN AND SIDIOUS(heh heh Windu window) BEGINS TO THINK HIS LAST THOUGHTS.

Windu: "Anakin...you fucking douche."

Declan proposed Chewie from Star Wars. Here is photographic evidence which elevates him from loser to winner...
http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/9254/leialovesit.jpg