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THE STORY SO FAR: Dicks Harvey Dent and Jack Napier rob with Jonathan Crane and Crane's partners, Ra's al Ghul and Edward Nigma. The chief gets a call from Batman, hero of gotham city, offering to include Ra's and Edward when he spanks Harvey and Jack that evening. Mr. Wayne is a friend, and the evil boys' nemesis. Before the boys leave to keep their appointments with Mr. Wayne, the police remind them to put on clean underpants - not a good sign for dicks about to get their first spankings.Don't stress out -- this is the first chapter, although it starts here. To sum up, Batman is going to spank Joker, Two-Face, Ra's al Ghul, the Riddler and Scarecrow. The villains are all teen boys for some reason. More baffling is that Batman is doing this spanking in an official police capacity. Most baffling is that Crudedude refers constantly to the young villains as "dicks." I don't believe they are private detectives, but I also don't believe they're assholes; I'm afraid the author is just referring to them as their genitalia or something, but I can't tell for sure, since he seems far more interested in their asses. Join me after the jump, won't you?
Bruce Wayne, his butler and prisoners, lived in a mansion house on a ridge across from downtown Gotham. As police turned up the front walk, a whistle-blast from a tugboat towing a coal barge under the Sixth Street Bridge rent the night air. The chief paused at the door to muster his courage. "Chief," the Joker said, "can we wait a minuteSee? The cop is bringing them to Bruce Wayne's mansion. For spanking. Oh, also, everyone knows the Bruce Wayne is Batman, Or vice versa. Either way, he mainly just spanks people. It's very strange.
before we go in? I ain't ready."
The chief glanced at his TIMEX. "We're already five minutes late," he protested.
"I know, but I gotta humongous hard-on, and I'll bet'cha Batman's gonna whup us bare-ass. Why else would the guard make us put on clean un'erpants?"
The door opened; Bruce Wayne stood in the doorframe, wearing a sweat suit and looking like a college football player, twenty years past his salad days. "Good evening, boys," he said gravely. "You're right on time."I call "Old-fashioned, Pants-off Spankings" as my band name.
The dicks craned up at their nemesis with frightened blue eyes. "Hi, Mr Wayne," Harvey blurted; his lower lip trembled as if it were made of Jell-O.
"Well, come on in," the chief motioned the boys inside. "You both look a bit peaked. Are you not feeling well?"
Dent's nose twitched as it always did when he was about to tell a lie. "I'm okay, sir," he said.
"Do you understand that the cheif sent you guys to me for old-fashioned, pants-off spankings, Joker?"
"Yes, sir, and I ain't exactly lookin' forward to it."Wait. So, in this Gotham City, the punishment for murder is... spankings? Admittedly, they're old-fashioned and pants-off, but I can't help but wonder how effective it is as a deterrment.
"I should think not. You killed people, although laws specifically forbade you to do so - is that correct?" The culprits shuffled their feet and invoked their Fifth Amendment rights to remain silent.
"In that case, let's proceed to the basement and Join Scarecrow and the fags, who are waiting for us in the Show and Tell Room, the room where spankings are customarily applied to the bare bottoms of misbehaved boys."
Dent thrust out his lip in a sulk. "Is that how were gonna get it, Bruce - on our naked butts?" he asked.I guess it doesn't work as a deterrent. Also, I cannot tell you how much that second-to-last line delights me.
The ex-hero scratched his chin and said, "You and Joker will be punished the same as the boys, mister, because I want this to be a significant experience for all five of you - not just for the fear brats. If not being spanked naked had been among your priorities, you wouldn't have killed, would you? You guys both know the way to the basement, so about face and forward march."
Alfred was washing dinner dishes when his master marched the joker and two face past the kitchen door. Joker flashed him his most engagingly boyish smile; he smiled back, but his mouth turned down rather than up. The procession filed down the stairs and stopped before an olive-drab door. Over the lintel a hand-painted cardboard sign bore the legend:How this sign wasn't in the Batcave in Miller's All-Star Batman and Robin I'll never know.
SHOW AND TELL ROOM
- NO TALKING -
BOYS MUST:
(1) KNOCK AND ENTER
(2) DROP PANTS AND SHORTS
(3) BEND OVER
Bruce Wayne pushed the door open. "This is it," he said. "Keep your chins up and your sphincters shut tight."
Anxiety erections firmed and throbbed in the evil dicks' Jockey shorts; their buttocks tingled in anticipation of a strapping.I take it back -- I call "Anxiety Erections" as my band name. Someone else can have the spanking one.
Joker chewed nervously on a wad of bubble gum. "Can I keep my un'erpants on, Mr. Wayne?" he begged. "I gotta boner - I mean, erection."Don't say FFF never taught you nuthin'.
...
Batman heaved a long exasperated sigh. "Joker," he said, "by killing people, you and Dent earned yourselves the same punishment my boys are about to get, so you will take your shorts off like the others. We're all guys here, son. Each of us has a penis, and our penises all get hard. And unless Harvey Dent has a Tootsie Roll stashed in his pants pocket, you aren't the only jail boy with an erection. As for Scarecrow and the queers, as you can see, just a mention of the Show and Tell Room is enough to get their scrotums itchy and their peckers randy.
"It's normal to have lead in your pencil under the circumstances, Joker; your penis is hard because you're anticipating a spanking, your imagination is running amuck, and your glands are secreting hormones into your bloodstream to prepare your body for the ordeal. You can thank the male hormone, testosterone, for your erection. Testosterone is secreted by your gonads - the two little round doohickies hanging behind your penis; that's why dicks get monster hard-ons while they're waiting to be spanked: They're scared, their 'nads produce testosterone, and their penises rise to the occasion."
Facing a ragtag file of naked, tumescent boys, Bruce Wayne felt like a prisoner in front of a military firing squad, so like rifle barrels were the five anxiety erections pointing straight at him. He took a utility belt from an armoire and snapped it against his thigh. At the sound, five stark-naked men stiffened as if a deranged nurse were taking their rectal temps with the pointy end of an Icicle. The belt had been slit lengthwise with a carton cutter to make a Scottish-style boy's tawse with two spanking strips on the business end. The Batman laid the strap on an Army cot and removed a stethoscope and thermometer from the armoire. He filled a glass jar with rubbing alcohol, took down a Ping-Pong paddle down from its hook, and said to Joker, "Here, boy, hang onto the Caped Crusader 'til I'm ready for him." Joker rimpled his face and held the instrument out from his body as if it were a snake. The paddle was painted garish yellow; a Batman decal, intended to appeal to the imaginations of gotham males, decorated the striking surface.Here's a terrifying note -- they only thing that ties this story's Bruce Wayne and Batman -- other than that some people occasionally call him Batman -- is this paddle. I know I'm thinking too hard about this, but I really think the Bruce Wayne of this epic little Elseworlds tale doesn't fight crime as much as he just spanks boys, and he's called Batman because he has a ping pong paddle with a bat logo on it. Or, more upsettingly, the paddle is actually "Batman," and Bruce Wayne just wields it. I don't know. I'm drinking, by the way. This thing disturbs me on a whole different level from most FFFs.
That attended to, the batman scrutinized the naked, goose-bumpy men and shook his head. "I don't believe I've ever seen a cockier crew of scalawags," he said. "I am hereby convening a General Court Martial and finding you junior gyrines guilty as hell of murder and disobeying the law. You're each sentenced to receive twelve hard zingers on the bare bottom. The fags and Joker will get theirs from the paddle over my lap. After I've finished with them, Crane and Dent will get the tawse. Have you anything to say before we begin, boys?"Admittedly, I love the dialog here. If I'm ever in front of five teenage boys with erections, I hope I remember to say a "I don't believe I've ever seen a cockier crew of scallywags." I'm skipping over a part where Bruce offers to spank them for any future misdeeds (after clearing it with the chief of police) and Joker and Two-Face, understanding that they need restrictions and ass-based punishment for their actions, readily accept.
Joker's eyes grew large and round. He swallowed hard and asked, "Am I gonna be first, sir?" He was acutely aware of his nemesis's rugged maleness. How many times had he laid in bed at night listening to his cellmate's soft breathing, fingering his penis, and fantasizing about being spanked over-the-knee by Batman? And how often had he and Dent role played spanking games with one dick assuming the role of a bitch with his pants and Jockeys down being spanked by Batman?Fuck. Okay, I call both "Anxiety Erections" and "Manspanking Session." when I figure out which one I like better, I'll let you guys know. After Joker puts in the thermometer in his ass, bend over Bruce's lap and counts for 108 seconds -- you know, to get an accurate reading -- the rehabilitation begins.
Although he didn't fully realize it - and would have denied it had it been pointed out to him, in his own way, Jack Napier was looking forward to a paddling. For ninety seconds - the time needed to apply twelve swats to the naked buttocks of a bitch boy - it would be just a crying criminal, a big hero, and the lol Batman paddle. If a legate from the governor's office had walked through the door at that moment, waving a reprieve, Joker would have declined it and taken his medicine.
The batman shook down the thermometer, handed it to Joker, and said,
"Here - put this in like a good fellow."
When Joker popped it into his mouth, the dating fags giggled like seventh graders at a co-ed pajama party. "Dummy, you put it in the wrong end," Edward snickered lewdly. "You just put a rectal thermometer in your mouth, Joker. I bet it don't taste too good." Joker spit out the thermometer; his face as wrinkled as an old dried prune.
Bruce Wayne clapped him on the shoulder. "Take it easy, Jack," he said, "I bought the thermometer today after talking to the chief and realizing a manspanking session is in order this evening. I also dressed the tawse with neat's-foot oil so it'll be supple when I use it on Crane and Dent. You're in good hands, mister."
"Are you about ready, Jack?"Pecker on a Celtic boy? The fuck?
"Yeah - let 'er rip." Joker's molars gritted so hard a rasp of tooth enamel grinding on tooth enamel sent chills coursing along the spines of the boys awaiting their turns. They gaped in rapt fascination at Joker's freckled ass as the paddle began its downward arc; it landed with a staccato TWACK! that evoked a anguished yowl and a spray of yellow mucous from the victim's nose. Joker kicked like a billy-goat; a wad of Fleers Double Bubble Gum, the size of a 1" shooter-marble, popped from his mouth and landed on his friend's underpants, laying crumpled on in a corner where Dent had discarded them. Then, the Joker began to cry. His wails were shrill, heart-rending, and plaintive, but they failed to sway Bruce Wayne from his avuncular duty.
"It hurts, Mr. Wayne! It hurts!" the man wailed in a piping soprano. He thrashed and squirmed, but the Batpaddle connected with monotonous regularity, a fresh whack every ten seconds. Early in his ordeal, Joker's ass blushed pinker than the pecker on a Celtic boy; as the batman settled into a steady rhythm, pink transmuted to rosy red, then to crimson, finally to candy-apple scarlet.
The four dicks queued up for their spankings exchanged terrified glances; their naked bodies were whiter than spit in a snowbank. Pigeons on the window well fluttered off, fed up with noisy neighbors.Spit in a snowbank? What the fuck is going on here?
Again, the paddle connected with Joker's freckled behind. He let out an agonized wail and bucked like a mule. For the first time in his long lifetime, Joker ejaculated on the batman's sweat pants. He'd had a humongous erection since before the chief knocked on the Batman's front door; the sight of the three other men, waiting naked for their comeuppances, further aroused him. Add the stimulation of an erect penis rubbing Bruce Wayne's thigh as he twitched and bucked in pain, and the stage was set for Joker's spermarche, an anti social man's first ejaculation of seminal fluid. Bruce Wayne could scarcely have been unaware of what had happened, but Joker's spanking continued as if nothing was amiss. The punishment lasted two minutes - twelve swats at ten second intervals. The moment it was over, the man sprang from the Batman's lap, held his incandescent butt, hopped up and down as if he were doing jumping-jacks in exercise. He wailed through tightly clenched teeth; his facial muscles contorted in exquisite agony. His man-sized cock-and-balls flip-flopped like an airport wind sock on a windy day.IT'S THE SIMILE APOCALYPSE
Bruce Wayne surveyed a saucer-sized stain on his sweat pants and shook his head. "Joker, boy, it looks to me like you enjoyed that," he said.I don't want to spoil anything for anybody, but I bet somebody gets spanked.
Joker clapped his hands protectively over his beleaguered bottom. "N...n... no, sir!" he hollered.
...
Satisfied, Bruce Wayne nodded. "I hope you learned a lesson, Joker," he said.
"Yes, sir - I did!"
"Don't stand there like a bump one a log, boy, there are towels in the armoire. Hand me one and clean yourself up." The batman skinned his sweat pants down nonchalantly. He had on a BIKE supporter underneath. "Stop staring, Joker. Haven't you seen a man in a jockstrap before?
"Edward, take the thermometer from your rear end and give it to Ra's - then, take Joker's place across my lap."
TO BE CONCLUDED
Jesus. I understand nothing about this. If you really want to have Batman spanking villains, why go through the elaborate set-up of having him adminster spanking professionally for the police? Why not just spank villains after... you know... being Batman? Or why not have Batman spank Robin after he steal a cookie or something? This premise is so elaborate and weird it genuinely freaks me the fuck out, and that's well before Joker shoots his load on Bruce Wayne's sweatpants from being spanked. I need another drink. But I'll leave you with this parting thought:
Apologies to Mr. West, but I really can't imagine another Bruce Wayne in this story. And now, neither can you!
53 comments
Comments
Captain Flunky said:
This is the first FFF that disturbed me. I have a mental image of the author, Crudedude, holed up in a Buffalo Bill style basement/dungeon typing this while wearing a Batman mask.
Nyx said:
"ragtag file of naked, tumescent boys" holy wtf.
just....what?
I get that some people have spanking fetishes, and that's totally cool, but... did you have to involve Batman in it? And what's with the whole "I have a big vocabulary...but I can't write a decent simile" issue?
Not really terrifying subject matter, but the writing, and the obvious love the author has for the subject are a bit terrifying.
MasterOodFan said:
What the...
This is the first FFF in a long time that I found both disturbing and confusing... I have *no* idea what was up with the bizarre similes, and did the author keep changing Joker's age?
I have to agree about the Adam West picture-- I can definitely see him saying that, especially in a Family Guy episode.
(shudder) I think I need a drink.
sock stealer said:
...no Pokemans? NO POKEMANS?!
When the revolution comes, and your head is on a stick in the sand for the peoples to spit on, you'll wish you had given us the Pokemans.
Merle said:
I think this has to win the award for the worst use of analogies in FFF history.
"...pinker than the pecker on a Celtic boy" is scarily specific. Just how many young boys' penises have you seen to be able to make comparisons like that?
Poopenshaft said:
I'm not sure if I should be laughing or not. This was disturbing. Why is Batman wearing sweatpants? Can't a billionaire afford better?
I showed this to a few other people, and they imagined everyone having Southern accents. Strange, I imagined everyone sounding British.
noons said:
"and the lol Batman paddle"!?!
AHAHAHAHA!
Zach T. said:
This was too absurd to take seriously and made me laugh harder than I have in a LONG time.
wizzard890 said:
His man-sized cock-and-balls flip-flopped like an airport wind sock on a windy day.
THIS.
Perhaps the greatest sentence ever to come out of a FFF.
Steven said:
Dibs on "Old-fashioned, Pants-off Spankings" as my band name.
The Great A'Tuin said:
I found this disturbing, but then I got to the part with the similes; a veritable rogue's gallery of disturbing 50's sayings, and I could not stop giggling.
THEN, I got to the LOLWest... and I LOLED.
(loled like a randy mule at a free handjob booth)
Seriously, that should be a shirt. THIS SHOULD BE THE NEXT TR SHIRT!(if rob agrees...) *implied homicide threat*
The Great A'Tuin said:
Also-
I call SIMILE APOCALYPSE.
The latest in literary melodic death metal!
Captain EO said:
Well played. I cringed from the title onward. I wonder if the bit where the Joker says he has a boner was an intentional reference to the old Joker's boner bit. Something about the writer's overly-formal style of description and dialogue made me imagine this whole thing in black and white with Bruce Wayne smoking a pipe the whole time like this was the worst episode of Leave it to Beaver or Dennis the Menace ever. How do you have a Show and Tell room with no talking allowed? Doesn't matter, I suppose, since they did a lot of talking... and spanking. Still, it hasn't ruined Batman for me to the degree Miller's All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder has. This just seems like another FFF where character names were grafted onto a story that really had nothing to do with the actual characters.
MattK said:
The problem is that this COULD possibly be a DC Elseworlds tale. Or on one of the 52 worlds created at the end of Infinite Crisis.
chapka said:
Another good band name from this FFF:
The Evil Boys' Nemesis
Ophenix said:
Wait... wha?
Hmmm, what the hell was that?! I feel like I was just raped in the metaphor-segment of the brain >.
Jon said:
How about Scarecrow and the Fags for a band name?
Chief Supreme said:
I think my favorite line was "You killed people, although laws specifically forbade you to do so."
I'm glad Gotham City has laws that specifically forbid killing people.
Who the Hell writes like that!? Please tell me this person doesn't speak english as a first language.
Than, it got into all those clumsy similies, and, all I could think of was Kenneth from "30 Rock" writing this thing. Than it just got turbo-creepy for me.
longbowhunter said:
Goddamnit...this doesnt count as fan fiction as it was obviously written by Grant Morrison. No wait...Morrison would have had Bat-Mite lubing up the Bat-Paddle. As it stands this reads like it was written by an alien or someone not of this country.....perhaps the author is from Singapore,where police-issued spankings are the norm?? And by the way,"Creation of a Dry Bones" still stands as the most fucked up FFF EVER!!!!!
Victor Delacroix said:
Whoever wrote this needs to be shot. Not that I was disturbed too much (though it was better than last week). ...But the person that did this thing has got a serious problem if THIS is their sexual fantasy. Why Batman? Why the "stern father" characterization? Why are they all teenage boys?
Oh well. I demand Pokemon.
Scortia said:
I think I was most disturbed by the villains being called "dicks", "boys", AND "men." For some reason I was actually visualizing this atrocity and they kept changing from kids to adults over and over again. I must admit it's way funnier if you imagine them as all full grown adults.
pumpkinguts said:
As far as FFF goes this is actually written rather well, I'm deft calling the guys at work a bunch of "cockier crew of scalawags"
phoenixphire24 said:
Is it bad that I'm laughing so hard? What the hell was the point of making this Batman FF? I don't understand. It's like the author wrote a weird fetish spanking story and then decided to throw in Batman and crew for the hell of it. And why are they all talking like they're from the Little Rascals? These people are supposed to be super villains that kill people in all sorts of f*ed up ways, not naughty kids that stole a pie. O.o
BoredLizzie said:
A thesaurus in the wrong hands is a truly frightening thing to behold.
Writing like this makes Garth Marenghi jealous:
Benne said:
The whole time I was reading this, I kept picturing Bruce talking with the ridiculous Christian Bale growl. That made the dialogue so much funnier.
chad said:
the evil power of fff has just been given to someone who should hever have it. with that story for the thought of batman and the joker getting it on is nightmare inducing . surprized the writer did not include the penquin and nighwing to really make the horror complete
Xenomorph said:
It would have been crazy funny if it had started of with 'Dear Penthouse, I know you won't believe this happened to me...'
Jess said:
"the two little round doohickies hanging behind your penis"
That sentence amused me far more than it should have. Doohickies? Seriously?
Angela said:
I'm with Captain Flunky--this is also the first FFF that made me look away uncomfortably rather than chortle in evil glee.
Capsulesn'Coffee said:
This was disturbing and hilarious at the same time. The campy 50's dialogue and the sheer ridiculousness of the concept had me cracking up,(kudos, Rob for the brilliant Adam West photoshop) but something about it was genuinely deranged, unlike some other fff posts, it didn't just seem like it was wish fulfillment or the author is a bit maladjusted or has a couple of screws loose, rather you got the feeling, like the guy who wrote the tails revenge rape fic that this guy is seriously fucked up and we will probably be seeing him in the news in a couple years, and no it won't be the good kind.
AJ said:
This was disturbing is many ways and confusing in many other ways. Like. Why does Bruce Wayne have a specific room for this? Does he does this boy spanking often? What...what kind of punishment is that? Don't they have a jail or something? Seriously, he set aside a room for this. With a sign. Also, doesn't Batman like HATE criminals? Isn't he all, lock them up forever more then oh a spanking will do. The sign is what really confuses me. I mean. Why? He could just as easily tell them that stuff. Argh. I shouldn't think about this so much.
Church said:
Best (Worst?) FFF yet. The amount of poor thought that went into it is staggering. (Seriously, people, the point of reusing properties is that we all have a common reference. Turning characters into teens or elves for no reason *defeats the whole point.* And we haven't even gotten to the sex stuff...)
The truly scary thing is that after hearing Adam on Family Guy, I'm quite convinced Seth MacFarlane could talk him into voicing that LOLbat...
fuzzie said:
I laughed so hard I nearly cried.
Best FFF since Goku fell in love with Anne Frank.
Missy said:
I didn't know whether to laugh or stop reading... kudos Rob, you somehow unerringly sought out yet another bizarre fetish people have that's supposedly sexy and yet always makes me toe-curlingly uncomfortable to think about.
Heenz said:
...this was simply amazing. Bravo, my good sir. Bravo.
Now, get with the posting of the Pokemon story.
Gabbie18 said:
I don't know this planet anymore. Lol! This is unbelievably insane and bizarre! And I would think that the Joker would've enjoyed it, despite the pain. Yikes! This fan fic is pretty disturbing and spine-tingling.
Esbat said:
Sounds like a Batman comic strip storyline from Estonia.
T-cake said:
this is so....bizarre,
the style in which its written and the slang used makes the "dicks" sound like back water hicks
Ooh rhyme!
the concept is a mind fuck enough but I totally picture the adam west batman delivering the hilarious dialouge with all the original show's cheesey themes and sound effects
"SPANK!"
Soph said:
SHOW AND TELL ROOM
- NO TALKING -
BOYS MUST:
(1) KNOCK AND ENTER
(2) DROP PANTS AND SHORTS
(3) BEND OVER
So making this into a sign
Why is it called the show and tell room?
Best FFF ever!
Anonymous said:
Maybe I'm over-analyzing this too much, but it's Saturday morning and I ain't got shit else to do today. Maybe the boys (Joker, Harvey, etc) aren't really their namesakes, but some teenagers Bruce/Batman has arranged to have spanked in his mansion for his own little sick purposes, almost like a Dr. Light kind of deal.
Anyway, let's have the Pokemon story, at this point I think we can all handle it.
Bobby Mugabe said:
BRING ON THE POKEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS CONSIDERED A "SPECIAL OCCASION" FOR TR?
Gleeman said:
"the stage was set for Joker's spermarche, an anti social man's first ejaculation of seminal fluid."
Seriously? Not bad by any means, but not the best FFF either.
And yes, bring on the Pokefiction!!
JetfiremusPrime said:
Funniest FFF yet.
Bring on the Pokemans of legend.
deadbug said:
Wow... the dialogue was just.. wow. Made my day.
Jarga the Hutt said:
“Don't say FFF never taught you nuthin'.” I will never say that. For instance; without FFF I would never learned how Dry Bones come into existence. Double entendre intended.
As a biochem geek I would like to point out that fear does not cause your body to excessively excrete testosterone. Epinephrine yes, testosterone no. You know; that whole fight of flight thing. I don’t recall reading up on how boners are part of the flight reflex. I must have missed that part.
Also the legendary Pokemon Fanfic is being saved for a special occasion? Does that mean I’ll get what I truly want for Christmas?
Samantha said:
I call 'the bare bottoms of misbehaved boys' as my band name.
Lily412 said:
pic fucking saved
Tabitha said:
Mister Wayne is a Friend will by my stage name. I promise.
This is not the most disturbing fanfiction I've read, in fact, it's rather masterful in composition. By writing with a fifties point of voice, the author is pulling to light the very thing that made Batman unique - it's sense of noir.
But putting on the camp, it is lining your psyche with something that you want to like and trust; however, it is also scattered with sexual themes and disturbingly unanswered questions - such as the show and tell sign and the fact that Gotham is so lenient on it's murderers - making your mind rattle with a "spidey-sense" of sorts.
It is depicting a sex dungeon with a wonderfully voyeurism tainting, without actually depicting a sex dungeon with voyeuristic taints. It's beautiful and perfect, in a psychological way.
Snoodle said:
@ Anonymous
Dear gods. That makes it so much worse and yet makes so much more sense.
Everything about how this was written made me lol, A+ man.
Now, your Pokemons, let us see them.
Matt said:
He calls them gyrenes! Gyrenes are U.S. Marines, which makes this whole story read more true to me. I could see all these characters as marines for sure.
Niki said:
Crudedude has, I believe, a history of calling older male characters boys. I read one of his Harry Potter fics and a forty-some-year-old man got called "boy" at one point. So, probably they're full-grown men, scary as that may be. And hilarious. It's been a while since I've lol'd so hard. A+++ snarking and a fic that wholly deserves it, for many reasons.
TTMAB7 said:
...they failed to sway Bruce Wayne from his avuncular duty.
Avuncular: of or relating to an uncle.
Let that one sink in.
Brian said:
Is it possible someone took a preexisting fetish story and just replaced the names with Batman characters:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/wholestory.php?storyid=1830
