Fan Fiction Friday: Edward and Bella in "The Monster and the Man"

By Rob Bricken in Miscellaneous, Nerdery
Friday, June 12, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Last week, someone complained about the lack of heterosexual fan fiction featured on FFF, and I wanted to clarify something. I really don't want anyone to think I have a problem with homosexuality, or think that's it worthy of ridicule; it's just that if a fan fic author is going out of his/her way to make a clearly heterosexual (or asexual) character homosexual, it's more likely they'll also indulge in more insane shenanigans, which is what I'm looking to share. For instance, there's a great many in-character stories about Torchwood's Captain Jack having sex with guys; I have no problem with them except that they're boring.

So I decided I'd hunt down a fic about nerdery's favorite heterosexual-couple-who-adamantly-refuses-to-have sex, the feeble-minded sparkly vampire Edward Cullen and pale Stephanie Meyer doppleganger Bella Swan, the leads of Twilight. Believe me, there's a shit-ton of Twilight fan fics, but all I know is these two characters. Happily, they're all you need to know too, although if you've read the first book or seen the movie (hopefully with the Rifftrax), you'll definitely be all right. For the rest of you, let author KariAnn catch you up:

The timeframe of this fic takes place within Twilight/Midnight Sun, sometime after Edward starts regularly spending the night in Bella's bedroom - after she becomes aware of his nocturnal visits, of course. Edward POV.

Oh, it's nothing inappropriate -- Edward just breaks into Bella's bedroom and watches her sleep for many, many nights, lusting after her blood while it never occurrs to either of the teenagers to, you know, fuck. It is this oddity that KariAnn's epic addresses.

I knew, in retrospect, that I should have turned around and left as swiftly as I'd entered. As I landed soundlessly in her small, untidy bedroom in my usual graceful manner my senses were immediately assaulted by the potent scent of her blood, her hair, her skin, but it was somehow more . . . heady, more staggeringly dominant this evening. ...

A moment later she entered the room and several things registered at once: Her luminous smile as her brown eyes met mine; the way her heartbeat automatically sped up at the mere sight of me, her blood quickening in her veins as a result. I registered, vaguely, that I'd been correct. She was indeed wearing a new set of pajamas: plain, blue cotton pants and a matching blue camisole that, when it came down to it, didn't leave much to the imagination. The fabric clung to her enticingly, showing off the perfectly round shape of her small but firm breasts and the creamy, delectable skin of her rounded shoulders, throat, and chest, which was heaving from her accelerated breathing. A decidedly human instinct arose in me then; a decidedly male human instinct at that, so powerful that it fought and struggled against the other instinct that had arisen in me at the exact same time: the less human, more monstrous instinct that caused my throat to burn uncontrollably and the venom to pool in my mouth.

I cannot possibly warn you enough about what horrors are in store for you. Please, if you've ever chickened out on an FFF before, please skip this one. If you've just eaten or have a weak stomach, do not read this story. But by all means, if you think you want the legendary Pokémon story, read this first; if you cannot handle this, you certainly can't handle that.

Hit the jump, and prepare to have reality change for you forever.

As I fought to control both extraordinarily powerful urges, I realized the reason that her scent, upon first entering her bedroom, had seemed so much more commanding than usual: She was menstruating. The scent washed over me like a tidal wave, blinding me, tossing me, pulling me into its depths.
Yes. Bella is menstrating, and since Edward can smell her blood on normal days, her period is rocking his world.
I'd been around her while she was menstruating before, obviously. Those days I had chosen to absent myself using hunting as my excuse. However, this had been unexpected. I'd just been with her at school today and her scent, while always ridiculously potent, hadn't seemed any more alluring than normal. I was caught unawares, frozen like a deer in the headlights, so to speak. Should I leave? Did I trust myself enough not to hurt her with the aroma of her feminine blood emanating from her, saturating the very air around her?

All this I cataloged in a matter of seconds. She was just now moving toward me, her arms outstretched in greeting, that enticing smile lighting up her face. The confusion of wanting to stay more than anything but needing to go more than anything, for her sake, tore through me, freezing me to the bed. Control. I am in control. I will not harm Bella, my life and my love.
Okay. Here's a more mundane horror of horrible writing, but after that, it's pure apocalyptic disaster, my friends.

"Edward," she murmured against my chest, causing my lips to pull up in a tender smile against her hair. No matter how recently we'd seen each other, she always greeted me as if we were reuniting after a particularly extended separation. It was something I would never tire of.

"Bella, my love," I replied with a low chuckle, pulling back so that I could peer at her face.

She was gazing up at me with that look that I had come to know as her "dazzled" expression, all wide eyes, slightly parted lips, and hitched breathing. And I merely had to say her name.

We gazed at each other for one pregnant moment before she impatiently stood on the tips of her toes, pressing her soft lips against my marble ones. I responded, tightening my arms around her ever so slightly, returning her kiss, molding my lips more fully against hers.

Her scent was intoxicating; overwhelming. She was intoxicating, and in more than one way. Gently, hesitantly, I pulled my lips from hers, carefully extracting her arms from around my waist. If I continued to kiss her I wasn't sure how well my resolve would hold. I couldn't afford to make any mistakes - not with Bella.

This is it. No turning back. I don't even have any words to add to the horror tha's about to unfold. I'll try to include some safety pictures, jus to give you guys breaks. See you on the other side.

Gently, I placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear. After that I'm not sure how long I simply watched Bella, contemplating her beauty; contemplating the unexpected, unfathomable love we shared. ...

At that moment I became aware of several things at once. A fresh, staggeringly potent whiff of her feminine blood hit my nostrils at once, rendering me almost incapable of thought. Startled, I pulled away slightly to examine the source of the sudden onslaught, my eyes taking in the patch of deep crimson spreading out in a wide arc on the bum of her new pajama bottoms. The next thing I became aware of was that there was another scent intermingled with the already-overwhelming scent of the blood; a tangy, sweet aroma that I immediately recognized as the scent of Bella's arousal.


On top of that I was suddenly, unbearably aroused beyond the bounds of endurance. To make matters worse I realized that Bella was moaning my name, and not in an innocent way. Suddenly she rolled onto her back and I saw the moisture glistening on her slightly parted lips, the flush of her cheeks, and the blood thundering just below the surface of her soft flesh.

"Edwaaard . . ." she moaned, her chest heaving. Her nipples were erect through the thin top, enticing and inviting.

I had to get out of there. I had to right now. I was losing control. ...

My body still not cooperating with my brain, I realized my hands were reaching for Bella as if of their own accord. My thumbs dragged almost roughly over her rounded breasts and across the taut peaks of her nipples, my hands coming to settle on her hips. My erection throbbed almost painfully in my loose trousers while my mouth swam with venom, my two insatiable appetites driving me onward while my brain screamed at me to stop.

Before I even realized what I was doing, my hands were dragging down Bella's pajama bottoms, taking her panties and the thick pad attached with them. I think I might've ripped the material in my haste to remove her clothing, but I couldn't be sure. The next thing I knew, Bella was wide awake, a mixture of confusion and arousal on her face that I might've found amusing had I not been so focused on my task.


"Edward, wha . . .?"

Her question hung in the air as I pushed her knees apart without preamble, and I was hit full on with the ridiculously delicious intermingled scents of her blood and arousal. I could see both liquids glistening in the dark curls of her sex and on the swollen folds just beneath the hair. ...

No longer able to stop myself, I spread Bella's trembling, milky thighs apart even further, dipping my tongue to lap up the blood that was already pooling against her buttocks. The taste of her blood was what I imagine a shot of heroine to be like to a human, only a hundred times more potent; a hundred times more all-consuming and powerful.

My throat burned with it and my mouth dripped with venom as I lapped up the blood, dragging my tongue in long strokes up the folds of her sex, seeking every last drop, the tangy flavor of her arousal mixed in with the blood only adding to its indescribable flavor.


There was nothing like this; there had never been anything like this. None of the evildoers I'd done away with during my vigilante days had tasted like this. There was absolutely no comparison.

Dimly, I was aware of the feel of Bella's fingers gripping in my hair, encouraging me, low moans escaping from her mouth despite her attempts to stifle them with her fist. Her fist that had been clutching my hair suddenly moved up her body to knead at her own right breast through her thin shirt.

I groaned against Bella's hot flesh, once again very aware of my persistent erection. However, the taste of her feminine blood, sweet on my tongue, was enough to drive thoughts of that other need out of my head. For now, anyway.

As my tongue finished lapping up all the blood from her folds, I sought her core, delving my tongue inside her tight passage, seeking out as much of the sweet nectar from her womb as I possibly could. As I did so, Bella's hips bucked violently beneath me.

"Edward, Edward, Edward," she was now chanting, her fist that had been shoved in her mouth now clutching at her own hair while her other continued to knead and pinch at her own breasts. I groaned again, overwhelmed, as a sudden image of Bella appeared in my head, pleasuring herself, touching her own breasts and sex while she thought of me . . . I couldn't help but wonder, even as I sought the blood from her womb, whether she ever pleasured herself while thinking of me . . .


Snaking one hand through the curls of her sex, I sought out the bundle of nerves nestled right above her entrance. Once again her body rocked violently as I touched this particularly sensitive area. I applied a steady pressure while stroking it in a rapid motion. At the same time, I concentrated less on lapping her blood and more on fucking her with my tongue in time with the strokes of my fingers on her clit.

While it was true that I had no experience with this sort of thing, I had had plenty of time for reading about it. Although admittedly, before meeting Bella all things concerning sex had been purely an academic curiosity. Now, I was more than happy to be able to apply my knowledge.

I continued with the pace, fucking Bella with my mouth, periodically licking up another trickle of her sweet blood as it found its way out of her womb. She was moaning quite loudly now, and I had to concentrate to make sure that Charlie hadn't stirred from his place on the couch downstairs, and more importantly I had to concentrate on applying just the right amount of pressure to her sex while I stroked her to completion. I cringed to think what would happen if I lost my concentration and applied just a miniscule amount of too much pressure . . .

The next thing I became aware of was Bella's muscles pulsing and squeezing around my tongue, and my name falling from her lips with an even greater fervor. Glancing up, I saw that she was now gripping her breasts and hair even harder, a lusty, abandoned look on her face that I found to be maddeningly sensual.

I continued to stroke and lick until her body stilled and her trembling thighs relaxed on either side of my head. And then there was no sound except the still-wildly beating of her heart, her labored breathing, and the blood pulsing through her veins, louder than ever.


I pulled my head from her center, licking my lips and tasting her blood and arousal, the two sweetest tastes on earth. And that's when my eyes caught it: the pulsing blue vein on the crook of her leg where it connected to her hip. The taste of her blood still so fresh and sweet on my lips, I found this other access to that intoxicating blood irresistible. I had but to sink my teeth into that oh-so-supple, creamy flesh, and I would feel her fresh, hot blood spilling once again over my tongue, my lips . . . spilling over my very being . . .

I kissed that vein, feeling it pulse with life beneath my open-mouthed caresses. My mouth flooding with venom, I snaked out my tongue, tracing that purple streak that stood out in stark contrast against her creamy flesh. So utterly decadent . . .

Bella! That voice that I'd been ignoring screamed in my head. This is Bella! Get a hold of yourself!

I pulled my head away abruptly, sliding up her body and pressing a kiss to her lips as I attempted to regain control over myself. I'd almost bit Bella . . .

But I didn't. I stopped.

Well fucking done, Edward. You're a vampire who didn't bite his girlfriend. However, you just took a private ride on her menstral cycle, so I wouldn't start patting yourself on the back just yet.

Bella kissed me back hungrily. If the taste of her own menstrual blood and arousal disgusted her she didn't show it. Far from sated, that lusty, heavy-lidded look remained on her face. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

It disgusted me, and I'm showing it by plucking out my own eyes and throwing them across the room. Does that count?

"Edward . . . please. I want it . . . so bad."

Abruptly I became aware that her legs were clamped tightly around my waist, my erection pressed against the wet, tantalizing heat of her opening. I'd been so concerned over the fact that I'd nearly bitten her that I'd failed to register this fact until just now. I didn't even remember taking off my pants. Odd.

Well, we've all been there, admittedly.

She groaned in an odd mixture of pleasure and frustration at the feeling, biting down on her lower lip. All it would take is one thrust, and I'd be buried to the hilt in her slick, wet heat. Just one little movement is all it would take. It would be so easy, and then I'd know true bliss . . .

You could crush her. One slip in concentration is all it would take. One miniscule miscalculation of pressure and you could destroy her womb; crush every bone in her lower body, as well as her internal organs. You could break her as easily as if she were made of porcelain.

"Edwaaard . . . ." she groaned, practically in tears of frustration.

I groaned in a frustration of my own. To feel what it's finally like, to move inside her, her slick walls tight and exquisite around me . . .

You could hurt her. You could kill her. Don't you think you already pressed your luck tonight? You already almost bit her.

If I had any doubts that abstinence only programs were evil, I think this story would have erased them. Teens -- please fuck each other silly. Anything that prevents you from following the sparkly vampire's example above. Please.

With the absolute last tiny thread of my remaining resolve, I tore myself away from her, flinging myself across the room while simultaneously pulling up my trousers. I had to get out of there. If I didn't I would kill her. I couldn't lose control with her like that. "Bella, I'm so sorry," I said as I backed toward the window.

She was sitting up in bed, a look of confusion and lust on her beautiful, wide-eyed face.

"Forgive me, my love," I said before throwing myself bodily from her window, not stopping long enough to give her a chance to react. I couldn't afford to linger. The room was heavy with the perfume of her blood and her arousal.

I ran as fast as I could all the way home, the foliage racing by in a black blur. I saw nothing. My thoughts were blinding me. I lost control. I nearly killed her. In that moment I'd never felt more revulsion, more self-disgust and hatred over the nature of what I was, and remorse over what I couldn't be for Bella: human - a normal human man who could make love to her without the risk of killing her.

She doesn't want a normal human man. She wants you.

I sighed in disgust. It was a well-established fact that what Bella wanted and what Bella needed were two entirely different things. I was poison. This could only end badly.

Well, it started badly and has continued badly, so that would be a pretty safe guess, Edward. Now for the classy epilogue to this tale of terror:

I laughed humorlessly at myself, realizing that I needed a human moment. I stripped off my clothes, turned on the water, and stepped into the ice-cold downpour. I barely felt it. I probably should've known that a cold shower would be ineffective on a vampire, I thought grimly.

Feeling disgusted with myself, I realized that I was about to do something that I hadn't felt compelled to do in the last eighty-something years. I braced one hand against the cold tiles, my other hand grasping my still-erect penis in a firm grip. ...

And all it took for my undoing was one exquisite, extraordinary creature with big brown eyes and the creamy skin of an angel. I groaned, stroking myself harder toward my release as I remembered her writhing beneath me, her hands clutching at her own breasts, tangling in my hair. My name spilling from her lips in breathy, lusty gasps . . .

It didn't take me long. With one final, guttural moan, my toxic seed spilled on the cold tiles to be washed away by the icy water. I braced my forehead against the tiles, reveling in the relief I felt at having the tension released, but at the same time feeling shame wash over me at the thought of how weak I was. How utterly lacking in self-control. I could have killed Bella tonight.

With a sigh I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying and dressing quickly. It wouldn't happen again, I vowed. I knew that I didn't have the strength to stay away from her, but I would not put her life in jeopardy like that again. I would simply have to be more careful from now on. No more mistakes.

Some mistakes can never be undone, Edward. For instance, none of us will ever be able to unread this nightmare. And we'll have to go on pretending that the universe isn't full of unspeakable evil and that life is worth living, WHICH IT CLEARLY FUCKING ISN'T. IF WE'RE BREATHING THE SAME OXYGEN THAT THE AUTHOR OF "EDWARD MEETS BELLA'S AUNT FLO" (and they get along great! Whee!) THEN LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A MOCKERY FULL OF HORRORS THAT NONE OF US DESERVE TO HAVE TO ENDURE.

So. Who's stll up for the Pokémon story?
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