“Not Everyone Can Blow Up the Death Star, Honey”
“Look, I know you want to be Luke Skywalker, son, but let’s face facts — that’s probably not going to happen. Now, I know the Empire are “the bad guys,” but at least they’re probably getting a regular paycheck. You might not understand this until you’re older, but having health benefits is a lot better than saving the galaxy, all right? What’s that? You want to be Darth Vader? Sorry, your daddy is Darth Vader, especially when he comes home drunk. Just play in the goddamn playhouse while mommy lies down for a while.”
This glorious little TIE Fighter is currently 45 pounds (roughly $75, I think) at Play.com; if anyone knows where we can get it from a U.S. vendor, please say so in the comments. Also, if anyone can tell me why they badly Photoshopped three kids in the cockpit for the pic, I’d love to know. (Via Nerd Approved)
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.