"Look, I know you want to be Luke Skywalker, son, but let's face facts -- that's probably not going to happen. Now, I know the Empire are "the bad guys," but at least they're probably getting a regular paycheck. You might not understand this until you're older, but having health benefits is a lot better than saving the galaxy, all right? What's that? You want to be Darth Vader? Sorry, your daddy is Darth Vader, especially when he comes home drunk. Just play in the goddamn playhouse while mommy lies down for a while."
This glorious little TIE Fighter is currently 45 pounds (roughly $75, I think) at Play.com; if anyone knows where we can get it from a U.S. vendor, please say so in the comments. Also, if anyone can tell me why they badly Photoshopped three kids in the cockpit for the pic, I'd love to know. (Via Nerd Approved)