It'll be when Shia the Beef gets the Matrix and is revealed to have been a Transformer all along, and is like the Autobots equivalent to Jesus... then shit explodes randomly for emphasis and Megan Fox rides a tiger in a bikini and Ray Liotta is just dumped in a container of robot piss.

I'm gonna go with either
• Prime turned into a baby form
• Passionate Robot Sex with a spark shot
• Transformer earth mode is Sam's Mom's dildo
• Gobots appear
• And the real winner……Mojo defeats Megatron

A severe 20+ car pile-up will occur on the expressway, when all of a sudden the All-Spark will fly over in a badly render sequence and zap all the wrecked automobiles, which will cause them all to transform with their injured passengers inside, completely mincing them. The newly transformed cars will then initiate a bloody orgy, which will be punctuated by Bumblebee oil-urinating on them all. All set to Linkin Park's new hit single "Same Ol' Shit, Different Movie."

This time, it'll be the audience performing the Shia "No!" line over and over.

Bumblebee and sam's mom will walk in on sam getting to third base with arcee

The scene where Megan Fox and Shia the Beef switch bodies.
Its strangely hot.

Oh when Sam(Shia The Beef) meets up with the movies G.I. Joes and Optimus Prime now wears slacks that look like Snake Eyes'and has a molded plastic looking face. And then Storm Shadow trains Megatron in Bot Fu. Then Megan Fox's character has to infiltrate Cobra disguised as Baroness(OK that might be kinda hot.) Oh and Devastator tea-bags Nick Turturro.(Cause even John now knows not to go back to the well.) Then at the end they all wind up celebrating Christmas together and sing some 80's sounding Christmas song when Arcee goes into labor with Crunchberry Commander's baby. And guess what kinda baby? A FUCKING Go-Bot! Take that childhood memories!

Megan Fox breaks up with The Beef. The Beef is then comforted by a glitching Optimus in which he pops open his gas tank and let's The Beef put his beef in him.

I don't really have an entry because like you I'm afraid that it all seems too plausible, but I think you may have already posted the novelization of one possible scene based on what has come before: http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/04/fan_fiction_friday_optimus_prime_in_burst.php.

Bumblebee professes his undying love for Lebeuf and proceeds to urinate on him in the steamiest robot/boy water sports scene to hit the silver screen.

After an all out assault on the Decepticon stronghold where approxametly 57 of the 32 robots explode, Prime smashes down the door to the control room, glares at Megatron, Starscream, and the other 5 I can't tell apart and exclaims, "I believe a 'bot spanking session is in order! Paddlebot, transform!!"

Megan Fox is replaced by a robot who looks like Stephen King and talks like Micky Rooney.

Megan Fox is being chased by a rampaging Decepticon in yet another devastated urban environment. She falls, and, having having twisted her ankle, lies hepless on the cracked pavement. Just as the Decepticon is about to crush her, Bumblebee launches in car form off a fallen piece of ruble and switches to bot mode in mid air and One-hits the enemy.

The intense music slows and becomes quite, and eventually fades only to be replaced by a solo violin backed by a small group of wind instruments as 'Bee' leans down to pick her up. He looks into her eyes, and she into his optical sensors. From the beginning of the film, they realized there had always been an unspoken tension between them. Alone, in this devastated city, with few or no people for miles, the emotions begin to control them. Quietly, Megan whispers to no one, 'Bumble... Bee...' and places a hand on his metallic cheek.

As Megan leans in for a kiss, which 'Bee slowly leans in to return, the camera fades into the background, where we see they are not alone. In the distanced, a weeping 'Beef and Optimus look on, knowing now that both their lovers have someone they can truly become happy with.

Sorry, I made a mistake in mine. I was distracted by a conversation about Ray Liotta when I wrote it.

It'll be when Shia the Beef gets the Matrix and is revealed to have been a Transformer all along, and is like the Autobots equivalent to Jesus... then shit explodes randomly for emphasis and Megan Fox rides a tiger in a bikini and JOHN TURTURRO is just dumped in a container of robot piss.

-John Turturro takes a dump in a port-o-potty. When he exits, it turns into a robot monkey and throws his feces back at him.
-Ray Romano voices Grimlock
-The Insecticons are "humorously" referred to as the Inscesticons" on more than one occassion.
-Sky Lynx appears and eats a band of Somali pirates, shot with Bay's flag waving, overly dramatic gusto.

Well as OP is going to die in classic TF style in this movie (I hope, and pray, at the begining of the next movie we find out at Megan Fox is about to give birth, at the half way point she will have the baby, with of course the scene where the beef is rushing to the hospital going "no no no I have to get there in time" untill he gets pulled over for speeding "No no no OH MAN" the cop starts giving him the ticket and bumblee transforms and takes a robot duce on the cop, they run off and walk in right as she starts to deliver.

Of course the baby is the reborn soul of OP, including birthmarks that look like OP's paint job. The rest of the movie is a mix of keeping baby MP away from megatron ( he was built with the allsaprk for his human heart) and of course dealing with a baby that can bring his toys to life and is haunted by the memories of a giant dead robot.

Think of babies day out meet the search for Spock.

You asked for it

Kaoy is in the process of writing next weeks FFF

Bumble through the power of the nega-spark (spoilers) is transformed into a Megan Fox look-alike with blond hair, but she (he?) can still only speak through music sound-bits. This thus creates that wacky love triangles that the kids love today, because who should bumble-bee choose: Shia rhe Beef or Megan Fox?

PS The Nega-spark has the power to change any transfomers into Megan Fox copies, but the decpticons are extra, extra slutty.

Easy.

"A Michael Bay Film"

The part where Megan Fox doesn't do full frontal.

Slow mo shot of a sweaty and dirty Shia LaDouche, Megan Fox, and Dude Married to Fergie walking in golden sunlight in front of a waving American flag to do battle with some ultimate decepticon. Bumblebee and Optimus join the solemn march towards destiny. An Aerosmith power ballad begins to play.
Just your typical 'Budweiser commercial directed by Leni Riefenstahl' Michael Bay shot.

Unicron teams up with an angry and bitter John Turturro (whose malevolent motivation is that he secretly misses being pissed on by robots) in order to create a dark legion of gobots in Mexico. As both Decepticon and Autobot battle the foreign knock-off invasion, a tender, heartfelt love is discovered between Starscream and Megatron, which reveals that he only insults Starscream because he wants him to be safe, far from the battlefield. Their shared love destroys Turturro's army, and the Decepticons leave for Pennsylvania to get gay-robot-married. Then the Transforminators attack. Cue Smashing Pumpkins song. End.

Two words:
Decepticon bukkake.

While hitting us with the "drama" of losing several hundred transformers who we can't tell apart, except for the few horribly "blacksploited" autobots headed by Skids, Mudflap, the ghost of Jazz, Blaster, and an unnamed Escalade, we pan to see the might of Unicron, who looks vaguely like Mr. Bay himself, wait to hear him bellow "For a time, I considered sparing your wretched little planet" and wish they had just reused the old Orson Welles audio instead of giving Ben Affleck another paycheck.Quickly followed by even more explosions.

The worst part of Transformers 3 will be the part where Jazz comes back from the dead out of a junkyard so that he can sodomize Bumblebee because Bay reads FFF and gets his ideas from there.

Attack of the Decepticon Retcon

Transformers 3: Hasbro caves to the demands of its increasingly histrionic fans, not merely back-pedaling or apologizing for having repeatedly raped legions of childhoods but indeed turning the creative reigns of the entire franchise over to the fans!

The role of Director is shared by a dozen of the world’s biggest (in all senses) fans of the Transformers property.

These die-hard fans are firm in their resolve to represent the Transformers movie their fellow True Fans want to see, so they spend two hundred million dollars recreating the five-episode pilot of the original animated series in exquisite, loyal, loving detail. The robots look the way they used to look! The dialogue is lifted straight from the cartoons! The plots are lifted straight from the cartoons!

...and only three or four fans admit that it’s approximately twenty times worse than Transformers or Revenge of the Fallen.

....or it's same as it ever was:

Five hundred new Transformers show up, and they all look like half-finished MC Escher illustrations.

Captain Flunky should win, for this:

"Just your typical 'Budweiser commercial directed by Leni Riefenstahl' Michael Bay shot."

Brilliant.

Explosions, Robots that all look alike, explosions, Megan
Fox's Cleavage, Explosions, Snarky comments sputtered by the beef, explosions, slow motion violence, explosions, then someone getting pissed on and finally more explosions.

Three words: Emo Hot Rod.

The Autobots figure out that they can run on plants and grass and don't need energon to function. They do this with the help of liberals, PETA, hippies, and best of all President Obama. Autobots all then take the form of Green Toyota Prius Vehicles (making it only slightly more difficult to tell them apart).

It's also discovered that Unicron and the Decepticons are responsible for Climate Change and the melting polar ice caps. Decepticons prefer energon and think Grass and plants are boring. They then take the form of Hum-vee's and Devestator becomes a smog spewing coal plant.

Eventually Unicron and the Decepticons are defeated, but not before Earth is rendered uninhabitable. Hippy Autobot Mirage finds out the only way to save cybertron is to plant a tree and turn cybertron into a cyberswamp. The autobots move back to Cybertron and save only the hippies who believed in Global Warming. Repubilicans and Decepticons are left to rot on Earth together and die in an oil covered nuclear winter.

Oh, and by the way, the big twist at the end. President Obama is a transformer. Our President was a hologram controlled all along by Wreck-gar the Junkion the catchpharase stealing motorcycle.

OMG. LOL. The Big Bad Booty Daddy fucking wins.

Also, as a bonus for us all, Michael Bay allegedly won't be doing a 3rd Transformers. He says he's done with explosions. I'm not saying its fact, but good god please let this be the truth.

Unicron will stick his robot cock up Starscream's USB port, and Starscream will be afraid to enjoy it the first time, but Soundwave will coaxe him into liking it. Then, a spanking session between Optimus and Sam will occur.

All the Transformers gather together and thank Michael Bay for finally presenting them the way they were meant to be. Jazz walks up and say "Damn Bitches, It be a honor to be dyin in yo film Yo Homeys!" Skids walks up and says through his buck teeth "Hee Haw, Sure be a cotton pickin' hoot nanny to be in yer movin picture." The other transformers lean against the walls because they can't stand on their unicycles and reiterate how much more work Bay puts into his movies than any art film. All the transformers change their names to Devestator as a tribue and Megan Fox rips her clothes off and deep throats Michael Bay while Bumblebee pisses on all the naysayers who dare criticize Bay.

I think Mikey Bay is gonna go for the R rating this time and model Transformers 3 after Bad Boys 2, complete with Decepticon Klan meetings disrupted by two Black-acting Autobots, someone being stuck next to a dead female bot with jiggly tits, and a scene where the Beef and Bee act like a crazy dad and his "friend" to scare off some teenaged bot trying to ride Arcee. Then shit blows the fuck up, someone. The end.

The best part about all this is when the Batman movies were in the crapper, no one defended those Shumacher films by saying that Batman was always cheesy and thirty years earlier there was the Adam West show, and how dare fans demand a movie that actually cares about it's subject matter.

But Transformer fans have to listen to nothing but excuses. The 80's cartoon was just like a cartoon from the 80's. The concept is silly anyway. Who cares because Megan Fox is hot, and my favorate "Turn Off Your Brains" The unofficial tagline of the first movie. I can't help but think that if the movie was exactly the same but it wasn't Michael Bay behind it, you wouldn't have half the people running to defend it. For some people he just cannot do wrong. Just look at the blogs on his IMDB page that claim he is the savior of cinema and is the greatest filmmaker of all time.

Michael Bay has made it clear that he had no interest in the subject to begin with and only took it because it had an existing fanbase. I wish he would just do his own movies and leave Transformers alone and then everyone would be happy.

the cube grows in sam witwicky(shia), giving him a square belly and morning sickness in ones and zeroes. when time comes to drop the head thru his transforming pee-hole (cue swirly, trippy 70's effects behind wide-eyed sam), he's transported thru time and space to cybertron, where he becomes optimus prime.

Unicron arrives at Earth, after having noticed through Twitter that Sam is the great chosen one or something. All hope seems lost until Sam somehow realizes that Unicron’s only weak spot is a womp rat-sized thermal exhaust port on his rear. Optimus, having merged with Jetfire, Superion, and Metroplex, flies into space and shoves whatever the movie’s maguffin is right up Unicron’s robo-rectum. This causes Unicron to explode for some reason, leaving only his head which crashes to Earth. Megan Fox and Sam lay down on Unicron’s head and proceed to conceive Daniel Witwicky.

The end.

Optimus Prime jumps a shark whilst waterskiing and then wins the dance contest with Joanie Cunningham.

My vote goes towards what most action movies resort to; deadly mixtures. We saw it in the Underworld, we saw it in Wolverine Origins, we see it every time they run low on ideas... The main focus of the movie will shift to a story about someone making/made a Transformer/Human hybrid, and there will be a fight for who controls it... or destroy it, even. Whatever. Movie makers aren't exactly picky nowadays.

Might be a little too obvious, but deep down, you know this next line of dialogue is going to appear in TF3-

Optimus- "This ends here Megatron, I'm going to destroy you like you destroyed my Father."

Megatron- "No Prime, I AM your Father!"

Optimus- "That's not true! That's Impossible!"

It'll be clichéd, it will be ripped off from another film, it will be clumsily handled, it will be appearing in a Michael Bay film near you soon.

If I have to vote for another suggestion though, it'd have to be Emo Hot Rod. You KNOW Prime will die in the next one, and they'll introduce Rodimus as the new Prime to be able to do a whole new load of merchandise. And they'll update Hot Rod to make him Emo so he'll be 'in touch with the kids' even though by then Emo will have completely died out which will make Emo Hot Rod all the more painful.

It would have to be that scene where Hot Rod snuck through Soundwave's space bridge in the mid-Atlantic being chased by Shockwave(/blast?) who for reasons never given instead of being a cyclops, calculating, military genius is now a 80's model GM Citation in sand beige with the voice of an elderly Jewish man.

As Hot Rod was quickly escaping after turning into a drug running jet boat spotted on the surface Shockwave lost ground while kvetching about being all wet and ruining his interior.

It didn't get any better after that either, but when Hot Rod took the Matrix and transformed into a 80's model Toyota Dolphin RV and the other remaining Autobots suddenly took on a G1 appearance I just walked out. I couldn't take anymore.

Big Bad Booty Daddy
Captain Flunky
&
Kaoy

all had winning entries

Well we've already had robot urination and robot balls. With a name like Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime, there no way Michael Bay can pass up making a robot cock.

Shia the Beef will go to the garage, completely unsuspecting, and walk in on Bumblebee flipping one-handed through a copy of Car & Driver. After 'Bee tries to pantomime that he was just scratching an itch, and that he only gets the magazine for its articles, Beef notices a copy of Edmund's catalog open to the Avtovaz section, with several newer models circled.

(Too subtle on the Avtovaz? Try this: http://www.russia-ic.com/business_law/Russian_companies/585/ and think of brides.)

Crusher, you know it will be Hot Rod standing there when Megan Fox walks by in something barely on and throws a "rod" which just so happens to pop through the manifold in his crotch

It'll be shelved by Fox three months before hitting theatres because it will be leaked (with phototastic proof) on the internet that Megan Fox is really a guy. Fucking shame! Oh well.

Damn, I don't know, Bay and his crazy shenaninganz suprises me every time, I doubt I could come up with anything as good as he does, but I'll give it a shot.... *Think Michael Bay*

It goes like this; Unicron shows up in his planet form, hell bent on consuming earth. He moves in for the kill, the Autobots can only watch in horror as their new home in Shia the Beefs backyard is about to be consumed.
Suddenly Unicron stops for some reason, with a bewildered look on his metal face. Is it compassion we are witnessing, or something else?
All the transfornmers/Shia Beefs of the earth look up on this cosmic nightmare from beyond our sanity as he transforms in to the most God awful Bayformer ever made, a gigantic, malformed transformer that looks just like the rest (of course) but like, much bigger (Michael Bay's words, not mine), except he's dressed in some sort of weird S/M looking kind of garnment with chains.
Optimus Prime stares at him with despair in his eyes, while Megatron stares with ill-hidden disgust; This is the douche I've been serving? Damn, did I bet on the wrong horse...

Unicron angrily grins at earth and it's inhabitants; Grrrrraaahhh!
The masses on earth panic and tries to run away from this horrendous sight, although there is no escape from this behemoth of madness. It's the judgment day for us all.

But wait, hang on, the grin is not of anger, it is something else, something far worse. What is this madness we are witnessing?
Prime's jaw falls to his feet; It couldn't be!

Unicron has spotted a certain something on earth, something far better than filling the void inside of him with food made from living planets like a bullied 14 year old girl; the worlds biggest hole, located in Mirna, Siberia.

With a smug look on his face, Unicron undoes his S/M gear; it falls to the earth, killing millions with the impact. But Unicron does not care about the suffering of lesser beings, since he has found his soulmate; a living planet with a vagina, whom will not reject his advancements like so many planets have before.

With one powerful thrust, he buries his gigantic "member" deep in to the Russian diamond mine, squashing the entirety of central Europe in the process as he lies flat on the earth, embracing the planet while ferociously humping.

Unicron's grin gorws even wider, he chuckles and his voice echos across the entire earth; "You like that, don't ya, bitch?"

(at this point, Michael Bay high-fives himself and slaps a PG-13 rating on the movie with the motivation; "Them kids see worse things on the Discovery Channel, without explosions!")

- The corpse of Bernie Mac has a brief cameo as the first Black guy to have been killed by a Decepitcon.

The American Government will see a Giant Doomsday Meteor heading for Planet Earth. They go to the Autobots begging them to use their Alien tech to destroy it. The Autobots accept the offer, but instead, plan to drill a hole into it and blow it up with Earth nukes. The government agrees that while the plan is stupid, it may be stupid enough to work.

Instead of a Meteor, the Autobots find Unicron. There's a fight and some Autobots die, but I couldn't tell you which ones. The Decepticons make a deal with Unicron and agree to take care of the American military. For some reason, Unicron is not worried about the rest of the world, but Americans mean business.

The decepticons start in the West and destroy the American military base in Pearl Harbor Hawaii. Then, the S.S. Arizona transforms into the greatest Autobot ever, Ultra Magnus (I know he wasn't a boat, but it doesn't matter. It'll be cool).

Unicron destroys Pearl HArbor, killing Ultra Magnus and a hunk of decepticons. We find that Unicron is after a relic from before the time of Autobots and Decepticons. A relic that happens to be on Earth. Using the powers of Shia and Megan Fox, the Autobots find that the Relic was hidden from the world and covered by the greatest Prison ever made, Alcatraz, The Rock.

The Autobots decide to get the relic first and destroy it, hoping that will be enough to get rid of Unicron. There's a battle and some amzing chemical weapons that will disolve cybernetics. But everyone gets through. The Autobots win. Unicron leaves and Starscream becomes a ghost.

Cue Aerosmith.

Bay will play the President of the United States.

In black face.

During the first five minutes of the film, as President, he will successfully nuke every robot (good or evil) in the film.

Then he'll sit down with Whoopie Goldberg (playing the First Lady) and talk. And talk. And talk. Forever.

Until he laughs, because you bought a ticket.

Then he'll mention that TF4 is in the works. And laugh again.

Megan Fox dies of an overdose half way through shooting so in order to meet the production deadline, Micheal Bay dons a wig,several well placed melons and Fox's short shorts and tiny tank top, all in time for the big love seen with the Beef in the back seat of Bumblebee. Over the funky music the rocking car, Megan Fox's character can be heard exclaiming"I haven't had sex this good since I was a troop leader in boy scouts!"
Micheal Bay ends up winning the Oscar for best actress, depriving Sarah Michelle Gellar of her best shot of getting an Academy Award for her stunning turn as a working single mother addicted to heroin who begins to loose her grip on reality and starts to believe she is a teenage vampire hunter.

Megatron farts at an inappropriate moment.

A haiku contest is not exactly a fantastic consolation prize. No one here has even fucking seen Transformers 2. Couldn't you have waited a week to have this contest?

The Dinobots (wacky comic relief) and their Aubobot riders (who will be enjoying it a little too much) will ride up to Unicron's Rear Exhaust Port, a small opening about three meters wide at the end of a long canyon, and attack a structure holding all Unicron's "anti-spark power", causing the giant robot's Extraction Unit Antennae to extend out of its Main Stabilization Juncture.

After a vicious bite from the Dinobots and The Touch from Optimus Prime, all Unicron's anti-spark power will be jettisoned from the Extraction Unit Antennae, giving the Washington Monument a new anti-spark paintjob, and creating a new robot who flies into the Rear Exhaust Port to destroy the Autobots.

Easy. Bay includes Waspinator, patterned fairly closely after his classic "Beast Wars" incarnation, complete with the original voice actor.

...and manages to screw it up in the only way possible: he ends up making Waspinator, a lovable and oft-mangled comic relief character, into a figure of genuine pathos, and tragedy. He actually does a good job at it——too good, in fact. In the only place and time in the film where it would have been uncalled for.

The audience ends up feeling bad for Waspy, to the point where it starts getting depressing. For once, with no warning or fanfare, Bay has actually managed to tug at the audience's heart strings on a deep, honest level; beyond any cloying formula or even pretensions of "high art," but from the simple depths of good storytelling at it's most pure.

Then Waspinator dies.

Onscreen. In a brutal, savage fashion, bordering on vivisection.

It takes six minutes.

He only stops screaming at the very end.

People are traumatized. Not just children, although they're the largest share——but grown men, too, many not even Transformers fans, just action movie fans coming in to see a monster flick on a hot summer day. Weeping, like they'd had to put down their dog with their own bare hands.

The Scene, as it quickly becomes known, is iconic. Like Old Yeller, or the Velveteen Rabbit. A generation grows up in America hesitant to crush an insect...or even throw away a broken machine.

The worst part, of course, was in the movie itself. Where, after finding Waspy's corpse (possibly his corpse——there's uncomfortable speculation that he might not be completely dead), Optimus Prime...makes a one-liner, then tosses the husk into a commercial recycling dumpster.

Whats left of the head pops off, rolls a few feet, then comes to a stop, leering a death-grin at the audience.

Then the movie goes on, as normal. As expected. With many explosions, but nary a look back.

...THAT is how you fuck up a movie!

@Ranchoth

*standing ovation slow claps*

Transformers 3 is the same movie as 1 but this time Starscream shoots first.

I do not envy Rob for having to pick a winner out of so many awesome entries, great job guys, incredible how almost all of you can write such awesome entries on the subject ;D

- Unicron, voiced by Chris Tucker, arrives. He transforms into what sort of looks like Ultraman's dad had sex with a bionicle and then got a bunch of knives glued onto him. Shia LeBeouf looks up at him and sees his huge robot dong. Optimus Prime says "NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL A GENITAL REGION!" and he gives a big thumbs up. Then Megan Fox grows a CGI erection which stretches into infinity and then the movie is over.

Optimus Prime will bring Arcee back from the dead, and then she will have sex with Shia LaBeouf.

John Turturro gets gang raped by a bunch of giant robots.

The inevitible talk that occours where a transformer explains where baby transformers come from. Ah, i can see it now; "when a mommy robot and adaddy robot love each other very much, the daddy shoves his jumper cables in the mommys engine, ometimes even in her exauhst pipes if enoughcoolant is present." Denying all continuity, morals,a nd sanity. Then they drown JT a robo-urinal for 40 minutes.

Shia the Beef will transform into Rodimus Prime.

Wow. There sure is a sex/sodomy theme running through these replies, isn't there?

"Transformers 3 is the same movie as 1 but this time Starscream shoots first."

Man, I so WANTED to use a "________ shoots first" gag, but I drew a blank.

Transformers 3 will be on Cybertron. After a bizarre space storm, 3 human astronauts will be thrown off course and land on the Transformers home world where they find humanity enslaved under the cruel rule of Shockwave. After befriending the Autobots and winning the freedom of all humans, the astronauts will launch for Earth only to be caught up in another bizarre space storm. When they land, they find themselves in modern day Washington D.C., next to the Lincoln Memorial....only it is a statue of Shockwave!

While some robot sodomy/incest/whatever might be just awful, the worst moment will probably be the stereotypical "Believe in yourself and you can do it!" scene seen so frequently in movies of the sort. The specific circumstances will probably be something along the lines of a reincarnated Megatron taking over Optimus's body, and Shia has to take him on by himself, somehow saving Optimus. He'll obviously be being beaten, and then it'll be all "Believe in yourself Sam, you can do it!", and somehow he will. Then, after Megatron is defeated again, Optimus and Sam will hug, and look off into the sunset together. The movie then ends with Optimus and Shia singing a duet of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You". At the very end of the movie, a trailer for Transformers 4 will play.

It's Shia and Megan Fox's wedding, need I say more?

Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson protest Megatron because of his unjustifiable killing of an unarmed Jazz in the 1st movie. Megatron is osterized by the media and is forced to resign from the Decepticons. By the end of the movie we find Megatron has moved to Austria to photograph wildlife with longtime friend David Duke.The movie ends with Megan Fox doing deep knee bends in Daisy Dukes & 5 inch heels, and for the finale something explodes.

Before I introduce this, a small bit of background...
The movie is pressed back because of Bay's brief flirtation with Slab, an illicit drug he describes as "If crack and heroin had sex on an exploding tank, and I injected the ashes straight into my penis..." This occurrence, as he is the primary screenwriter, naturally prohibits any sense of decency from sneaking its way into Bay's mind, and produces a weird mess with more explosions, innuendo, and rape than any human should ever be exposed to.

So... let's just dive in.

The film opens with Sam Witwicky and Pipes (vehicle form: a golf cart with nude images of famous actresses on the sides) in a Chinatown alley, soliciting the services of two women: a Taiwanese prostitute with fairly obvious scars, lesions and tattoos all over her body, and a mechanic with a fairly prevalent "Crotch Bulge," if you know what I mean...

(OK, she's not a woman per se, but this is out of Bay's script, and he has a pretty "loose" defenition of "Woman"...
(the "loose" part was an attempt at a sexual pun on my "part"(as was that)))

After this, the come back to Sam's house, where Olivia Munn (playing Megan's character's lesbian lover, Roxxy Vegass) and Optimus Prime are arguing about whether Kirk or Picard is better. They interrupt this conversation to brief the collected Autobots on their next mission: Cobra Commander is planning to murder every world leader with an orbital missile launcher.

Yes... they are using the old comics where they crossed over with GI Joe for the movie.

Unfortunately, these are the new GI Joe movie characters also known as stupid pieces of shit.

They meet up with the Joe crew, and follow a formulaic action-thriller plot, eventually leading to an anti-climactic showdown (interspersed with graphic scenes of Olivia and Megan having lesbian sex, which borders on porno, and then crosses the line. Over and over again.)
Eventually they catch Cobra Commander, and he begs for mercy.

But then it gets worse.

The last 40 minutes of the movie is veritable torture porn where the Autobot team
-Brutally gang-rapes him
-Puts him under severe psychological torture
-Murders his family while he watches
-Dismembers him
-Cuts out his eyes
-makes him EAT THEM
-PISSES ON HIM UNTIL HE GIVES THEM INFORMATION
-and then they put him out of his misery, nice and slow...
all while The Touch, by Stan Bush, STAN F**KING BUSH plays.. and the final shot which extends through the credits, the shot that virtually defines the movie, is Cobra commander's face looking RIGHT INTO YOUR EYES AS HE BLEEDS ONTO THE FLOOR OF HIS LAIR, and cracking a wry little smirk... he coughs out an eye, and dies.

THE END

ONE VOTE FOR ASTROKENDER. it's equal parts simple, strange(can i say ludicrous?)and hollywoodishly plausible.

prime is surely going to die, the cartoon transformers movie is surely going to be copied with some 'unpredictable' upstart taking on the mantle of the allspark/cube, saving the day. linkin park screams and raps 'you got the touch'. sam'll first have to cut himself alot and cry about the world, but afterward he transforms; everyone he knows and loves also transforms. good guys win, and off in the clouds an image of optimus's expressionless, beady-eyed face superimposes Happy Gilmore style, with him saying something like, 'you DO have the touch, sam.' then optimus starts singing along with linkin park as the song fades back in. chee chow cha CHA: that was "the end" sign transforming to the middle of the screen, then exploding for the rest of the credits to follow. after the rest of the credits have passed 15 minutes later, a large planet robot picks up on the tune, using its magical world wide web beacon, and changes direction for earth.

ok, so it's not indie4 worst, but i'll stand by my vote.

The year is 2012 and 3 years after Movie 2 topped the $500 million, movie 3 gets released. Its a whopping 3 hour long. Bay is unable to enlist Megan Fox to return to her role, by then she's 26 and fast approaching retirement. Nineteen year old copper haired/ copper spray on tanned Ginger Belle-Katz, who ranks #3 in FHM 2011, gets the role as love/spoon interest. Shia La Boeuf is now professor at his university teaching Xeno Mechanical Symobology but is again chased by random robot critters for unknown reason. In fact, Anthony Anderson, who plays a more prominent role in this film, would soon discover is a plot by Decepticons to find the Key to Vector Sigma- an artifact so powerful- well you get the picture. Before deja vu sets in the Beef is off on his adventure with lovely Ginger ultimately ending up in Kuala Lumpur. Fornication is a non starter in this PG 13 film so sexual tensions can only be dispelled with lots of camera motions and explosions. The biggest occurs at some point when Superion defeats Thunderwing in a blur of confusing action and in his last act of defiance, Thunderwing plows himself into the Petronas Towers sending them toppling down in an emotionally slow mo sequence. Byung-hun Lee is a vaguely effeminate North Korean agent and Adoni Maropis plays Abdul Fakkadi who have allied themselves with the Decepticons. The two look vaguely lost and are ultimately beaten up at some point by Anthony Anderson, Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel. In addition to the 47 in movie 2, an additional 50 robots are added to the robot cast- you'll not tell them apart so names are un-necessary.... GM cars and trucks all....

Decepticons infect the Autobots with a virus that makes them incontinent. That’s right robot pee everywhere. Sort of like the fff from a few weeks ago without the creepy sexual connotations.
The solution will of course be allspark depends.

It will take place in the far future of "TWO THOUSAND AND FIVE. Complete with silly costumes, planet nomming robots, and not dealing with that now.

Oh, and Hot Rod will kill Optimus.

If you don't get that reference, then why are you here?

Optimus: "Ironhide, can I talk to you about something? The other day, I was fighting Megatron, and... I kind of got excited... down there. I think Megatron noticed my robo-boner too, but he didn't say anything. In fact, I may have notice him smiling. Now I'm wondering: am I gay? Or is Megatron? Or are we both gay?"
Ironhide: "Can robots even be gay?"
Optimus: "Have you seen Star Wars?"
Ironhide: "Yes."
Optimus: "Then you know the answer."

"Ironhide: "Can robots even be gay?"
Optimus: "Have you seen Star Wars?"
Ironhide: "Yes."
Optimus: "Then you know the answer.""

FUCKIN BRILLIANT

Sadly, I believe that the entire premise will be a amalgamation of all that is wrong with the world.

Unicron (Voiced by Jake Lloyd) will make his debut, as he comes to destroy the earth. Accounting for the fact that no one would find a giant planet eating robot believable in a world populated by giant robots that turn into ethnically diverse vehicles, he will be represented by an inter galactic dust storm that causes random explosions in national parks throughout the land, causing Smokey the Bear to be prescribed anxiety medication and placed on bed rest. Taking time out from college, Sam gets a summer job as Smokey's replacement. Megan Fox will help out by wearing hot pants, a flannel bikini top and an axe, clearing the forest in slow motion to prevent forest fires.

Decepticons, under Unicrons command, will storm the forest, tossing the trees out of their way causing the shrubbery to explode violently. The autobots will try to save Sam, but will be unable to due to the lack of roads in the forest, and their unwillingness to harm any life, trees included.

With Sam now dead (Megan Fox was saved by her vibrator, a redesigned Ravage, now inexplicably an Autobot)Optimus Prime and the autobots fly into space and fight the Unicron cloud of dust. Opening his matrix of leadership(complete with a Dyson logo), Prime sucks up Unicron into the matrix, selflessly killing himself in the process. The matrix now belongs to all autobots, giving them responsibility for the protection and betterment of the human race while also turning all of them into RV's.

Upon their return to earth, the RV's face off against the Decepticons. Considering that the Decepticons consist of a Black Hawk, Fighter Jets and Tanks, The RV'bots are quickly destroyed. Megan Fox is again, saved by Ravage. They consumate their relationship on top of the destroyed autobots while Megatron wonders what the hell he was doing. This thought causes him to explode, destroying a nearby and unnamed city.

After the credits, it will be revealed that Optimus Prime will return...After a half billion world wide gross.

As messed up as that was, it still makes a hundred times more sense than any of Michael Bays movies.

FIN

It will be when we realize that it's just 147 minutes of Megan Fox bending over things, and some explosions. No dialogue. No actual Transformers. Nothing but explosions and Megan Fox bending over various objects with that dead look in her eyes, exuding about as much sex appeal as a blow-up doll with a slow leak.

Second worst moment: Michael Bay declaring himself the winner of all Academy Awards that year, and vowing to make a movie adaptation of "World War Z" that is true to his style of filmmaking.

Bay is going to come up with a reason for one of the Transformers to take a dump. I don't know why, or how he will explain it - maybe the Autobot will be "releasing old motor oil," and it will be all black and greasy, or a Decepticon will be be "emptying his Energon storage unit," but trust me, it's gonna happen.

Assuming it isn't already happening in the one opening next week, that is.

It is revealed that every hundred years the sparks of both Primus and Unicron are hidden in the bodies of two children and it's a race to find them between the Autobots and the Decepticons.

Megan Fox is currently in labor while riding on the back of Grimlock who's an old amusement park dinosaur brought to life by the allspark that can't transform,voiced by Chris Tucker.

Turns out Megan Fox's child is carrying the spark of Primus.

The Decepticons have already obtained the spark of Unicron which was in Dakota Fanning.

So here we have Shia, Megan, and Grim-Tucker heading to the hhospital when they are confronted by Shockwave, a monster truck voiced by Ben Afleck, and RatBat, a golf cart voiced by a Wayans' brother(it doesn't matter which one.

Battle ensues all while Limp Bizkit plays.

You know what, I shouldn't have made this submission because I have angered myself just thinking up this horrible scene.

I imagine it'll be when Bumblebee gets caught masturbating while taking secret peaks at a half-naked Megan Fox through the garage window. In his haste to "cover up" he'll quickly transform into car mode and close his robot door on his robot penis.

Hilarity will ensue!!!

If it worked for Ben Stiller, it can work for a giant, clunky, transforming robot car!

Too many of you are making up full plots when the contest is about a MOMENT. A moment is one scene, not the whole goddamn movie.

It's going to be the complete wussification of the Dinobots. Not only will they not have a robot mode, they'll probably also get their asses handed to them in their only action scene, which only exists to prove what a bad ass one of the minor and not very threatening looking villians is.

Imagine Christopher Lee in Revenge of the Sith, but instead of Christopher Lee it's a Robot dinosaur that looks like it's made out of disjointed metal scraps. Also, for some reason Grimlock will have a wacky scene where he tries to pick something up but can't because of his tiny trynosaurus arms.

The worst is when it turns out the movie is fantastic, well acted, and enjoyable. Then we will be forced to sit quietly and not hate. The worst punishment a nerd can endure.

A male transformer has sex with a female transformer. Since its all metal shit there's no need to censor it. The female transformer dies 3 seconds after the sex scene.

Sam and Bumblebee switch bodies in the ultimate robot teen comedy, during this time Kup is visiting Prime from the Cybertron home for the elderly.
Prime decides to introduce Kup to Bumblebee, they then walk in on Bumblebee (Sam) masturbating, which takes him by surprise, and he ejaculates all over Kup, who in turn has a heart attack.
Prime, Sam and Bumblebee then go on a cross country road trip on a run from the law while trying to find the very idol that caused Bumblebee and Sam to switch bodies.
Hilarity, nudity and explosions ensue.

Meanwhile, Megatron becomes a porn star.
Hilarity, more nudity and more ejaculations ensue

Topless female autobots

Michael Bay just knows he can't top the sheer awesomness of the Devastator-balls. So he decides to go in another direction: no more explosions, no more gigantic battles, no more Megan Fox hotness

He makes a touching portrait of young Sam Witwicky and his undying love for his retard incontinent car. Society shuns their robot-on-human relationship, and the only one who supports them is a heroin addicted Optimus Prime, who acts as a father figure to both of them.

The final scene has Sam and Bumblebee standing next to the deceased Optimus Prime, who has died from overdose. They have just found out that he can't be buried on a normal burial ground, so they're standing on a junkyard.

EXT - Junkyard - Magic Hour
Sam is sitting in Bumblebee's lap, crying.

SAM
He's, he's... dead now. From now on,
it's just us two

BUMBLEBEE (on his radio, from Oasis's Wonderwall)
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Sam, sobbing, looks right in Bumblebee's eyes

SAM
Yes, yes, yes!!

Bumblebee keeps playing Wonderwall and slowly transforms in his car form. Sam steps in and they ride into the sunset, a bit of fluid leaking behind him.

THE END

At the end, Optimus Prime (with Megan Fox piggyback, and Shia piggyback on her) will ride Road Rocket full speed at a trio of Decepticons--say, Bonecrusher, Blackout and Megatron--who are running full speed towards a collision with him. Suddenly, Optimus Prime will jump off his cycle and launch himself into the air towards his enemies. While he is flying through the air, he will turn towards the camera, look at the audience, and exclaim, "It's time to take care of those TRANSFORMERS 3!"

Then, after the ensuing battle, the end credits will roll, accompanied by a rap song that tells the story of the movie--plus outtakes with scenes where CGI characters flub their lines and engage in various light-hearted pranks.

Playing off what IisAwesomecakes said a bit, this is what I think is gonna go down:

Through some Wraith of Khan moment, Shia LaDouche is killed in the most horrific manner possilbe, with his brains splattered all over the ground with Galvatron, yes Galvatron and he's actually NAMED Galvatron this time, grinding the heel of his boot into his entrails. It is then revealed that Prime at some unnoticable point 'scanned' Shia's brain mind meld Spock style and now has the ability to transfer the douche's brain into any robot. Craziness ensues and Optimus transfers his mind into Galvatron's. We are then treated to an hour of psycological mind spooging of Galvatron unable to combat the mind of a chronic masturator and is assaulted by naked jerk off fantasies of Megan 'Fine Ass' Fox.

Shia the Beef is actually Autobot Christ. Having the AllSpark reform in him, they defat the Decepticons and Sam Ascends to become Primus. He gives the remaining Autobots 1 wish-and they all wish to become human. Cut to 5 years time and Human Optimus cradling his Newborn son-named Sam.

Then cut to Bumblebee in a public toilet screwing Megan Fox.

It'll be a hit!!

Best moment: Spike, as played by Wil Wheaton, kicks Sam Witwicky's ass and shows him how to be a proper Autobot sidekick. After defeating him, he tells him to take his lifeless manikin friend and leave, never again to soil the good name of the Autobots.

It's at this point Sam and whatsername become Cobra Commander and The Baroness, though they are defeated 11 minutes later when the Autobots discover that neither of them can emote worth a damn.

I'm gonna say a 95% markup on casual robot racism, Skids/Mudflap style

This is my interpretation of what is going to happen in 3:

Sam after the Decepticons are defeated, goes through school and enters the work place as a tech guy in some lame boring office type setting. The Autobots are still protecting him, but they don't hang around as much, respecting his life as an adult.

Sam is consistantly jealous that his fiance, played by Megan Fox, always gets to ride around on motorcycles decides to break down and buy one so he can be cool like her. While at the junkyard a motorcycle strikes his fancy and he decides to take it home. Strangely the cycle looks like it has some kind of face on the front and probably is a robot in disguise. Lateer he shows it to his fiance who is pissed that he got such a stupid looking motorcycle and she leaves him. Cue first "No!" line here.

At home, the motorcycle simply transform into the evil Renegade Go-Bot Cy-Kill and takes Sam and his family hostage. Cue Shia's "No" line here. Busting through the garage, (destroying it again) is the other Renegades Cop-Tur (he turned into a helicopter!) and Crasher (a weird racing car). Sam shouting for the Autobots to come and save him, strikes Cy-Kill's fancy as he had never heard of these Autobots before. Cy-Kill pressures Sam into revealing all he knows about the Autobots. However, Sam's dimwitted father tells all he knows about the Autobots, just before a lazer destroys the Witwickey's house enitrely.

"Let the people, go Cy-Kill!" shouts the jet that fired the lazer. It then very simply transforms into a robot.

"Ah! Leader-1! You pathetic Guardian! I knew you would show up and ruin everything. No matter, I shall destroy you and these Autobots this boy keeps talking about."

A sports car rolls up and destroys more of the Witwickey's house. "Sorry Leader-1, I got caught in traffic," says Turbo, a guardian who can simply transform from the sports car into a robot.

Scooter scoots into frame and before he can say anything he is squished by the foot of Optimus Prime, who looks confused. However, not saying a word he activates his swords and goes to town destroying both Guardians and Renegades in massive Michael Bay style action. The other Autobots show up, but decide not to join in because it really isn't their fight and Optimus can handle his own.

During the fight, Matt, Nick, and A.J. the human's who run around with the Guardians come and save Sam. Sam and his family along with Megan Fox beat the crap out of them thinking that they are the ones bringing the new robots to this world.

Holding the metal that was Leader-One, he says, "There shall only be one group of transforming robots on this world." He then takes a Transformer style piss on it and then throws it as far as he could.

To make things better with Megan, Sam tries to give her a beautiful white rose, only to be scorned deeply when she denys the gift. Bitter Sam goes back to his job like nothing happened and starts hitting on the hot receptionist at his work, who is also played by Megan Fox.

Oh! And in the junkyard scene, you can see a broken version of the trashcan robot thing from MASK.

Fun Facts for transformers three:

There will again be 4 time as many transformers as the previous movie, bringing the total to 160 transformers.

The GI Joes will make cameo appearances, so that the fourth film will be a crossover.

The New autobots will include Omega Supreme, the giant space rocket, who will have to prove his dominance over devastator.

And 80% of the film will be about Sam and Mikaela planning a wedding.

We find out Transformers run on midichlorians

Devastator shows up and dominates the 15 minutes of the movie in which giant robots actually show up, completely eclipsing all other transformers. Every time he shows up, there's at least a five-second shot of his balls.

It's also known that Devastator is seeking his missing comrade, who takes the form of a train. When he finally finds it, it merges with Devastator to form a thirty foot dong, which he uses to beat Optimus Prime nearly to death; he finishes him off with teabagging.

And then Shia kills him with a bottle of bug spray and a lighter.

The film makes more money than any film before it creating a black hole of taste that swallows Earth. As we fly in to the gaping maw of the beast time suddenly stretches out forcing those who were in the cinema at the time to watch the film in slow motion for all eternity. Those who weren't in the cinema think that it's a fitting punishment for the bastards.

When Shia hides in a fridge to survive the explosion of the All-Spark. Then he'll learn that Optimus Prime is his father, due to some weird time travel thing (assisted by inter-dimensional beings) and some weird thing about the All-Spark enabling female women to get it on with giant robots. Then, after getting out of the fridge, Shia will befriend some monkeys and swing through a forest while Optimus battles lethal ants.

Oh wait, that was Indiana Jones 4. Why did they let George Lucas write the screenplay for Transformers 3?

The BEST moment in TF3 will be when the Autobots all realize that Devastator's power comes from his immense wrecking balls. Cue a quick-cut montage of all the Autobots in vehicle mode, sporting big truck nuts. Then they will all speed out of their hideout, which will then explode. Megan Fox will be watching from the side, wearing Daisy Dukes, a wet t-shirt, and spraying herself with a hose while making porn-star lips. The Beef will be on the other side, saying "whooooooa!" like those kids in toy commercials. The music will be Yngve Malmsten.

The SECOND BEST moment will be when Bumblebee accidentally transforms while in a three-way with Fox and the Beef. Motor oil, flames, and bodily fluids everywhere! The Aristocrats!

Why does this all sound like it was written by Roger "REAL Ultimate Power" Hamburger?

Unicron appears, has a Russian accent, and is defeated by Twitter.

Due to contract issues, Megan Fox only appears in about thirty seconds of the movie. We are all sickened to realize that it's the best half minute of the film.

Arcee, Chromia, Elita-1, and every other female Autobot appear as motorcycles that transform into heroic Autobot hookers a la Sin City. To further hammer the point home, Arcee will be voiced by Rosario Dawson.

Dep103 wins:

"The worst is when it turns out the movie is fantastic, well acted, and enjoyable. Then we will be forced to sit quietly and not hate. The worst punishment a nerd can endure."

Shia and Megan die and they are brought to life as Rodimus Prime and Arcee and lead the Autobots to victory, yay!

optimus and megatron have robo butt sex, and optimus gives birth to a butt baby: rodimus prime.

No matter what is written here...No matter how out there...Bay will out-do it with something unimaginable. Orci & Kurtzman will write something so terrible that all the creative comments here will seem Oscar worthy to what they do.

The kick ass action girl robot (you know, the one with breasts, curves, and attitude) will have a flirtatious (filthy talk, masked innuendo, flirtatious insults, and all) relationship with one of the hipper cooler male robot cast members. By Michael Bay standards, this cool dude robot could very well be the faux woobie Bumblebee (we're being led to believe Shia's character is pounding Megan Fox, so why not?) or an 80's action movie star rip-off who will be as much a caricature and parody of manliness as our loveable resident south paw or the governator.

The scene will be done in dozens, if not hundreds of spastic (think nano-second pause before cutting to next shot) close-up shots of robot parts grinding up on each other (so we have no fraking clue wtf is going down... not that we actually want to, mind you), and it will culminate in hot off camera robot sex, utilizing a fixed camera pointing directly at some obstruction (we'll say a bunch of randomly placed crates, a scrap pile, or the ruins of an earlier blowed up real good building) that's blocking the two robots in blessed union. And this will all be to the beat of the worst 80's 1-hit wonder ear worm sexual innuendo laced song (for edge).

And for the cherry on top, the movie will end with the product of our coupling (or would it be shipping, as we're now entering into fanfic bad quality story telling?). Robot foreplay => robot sex => robot baby... It's so terrible, it's not only plausible, it's probable. And now I'm off to cry myself to sleep, before more of my childhood memories are defiled by those Hollywood hacks.

This one is from my awesome wife:

The third film is the quiet film Michael Bay wants to make. It will be a courtroom drama in which Bumblebee argues for the rights of those Transformers that don't want to transform any more, and for their right to say "no" to the constant orders of Optimus Prime to turn into robots. Is not a Transformer allowed to be satisfied as a car, or a toaster? Must he constantly be turning into a generic pile of robotic bits?

In a stirring slow-motion climax, the judge (played by a CGI John Spencer from West Wing) explodes for no reason right before delivering the verdict. The Beef yells "NOOOOO" in slow motion for a full six minutes.

Fade to black.

The movie shall consist of 110 minutes of explosions, with undefinable car parts flying, and the occasional robot head burning through the picture, only in the end to cut to a scene of optimus prime, larger, less red, with a trailer that transforms into a giant gun that he explains caused said explosions throughout the movie (The trailer is all a sell-out point, as it'll have pepsi stamped to the side of it throughout the whole movie)

And the 30 seconds of will be a brief recap of those who were lost, and the moral behind the story, probly something like "big guns r good", as Micheal Bay will have to write the whole script himself after spending the budget on too many explosions, and not enough writers.

In the original comic book, issue number 3, Spiderman appears and sprays all the decepticons and autobots with his spidey web until he figures out that there are good guys and bad guys. The cover of the comic book has Megatron (for fraks sake) all bound like he was tied to a chair by Spiderman's web. I hope you all know that the script has already been written and Michael Bay thinks it's a great idea and will produce it, but Tony Scott will direct!

For Reals:

http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/transformers/3-1.jpg

Wait, the threat of a Michael Bay-produced Transformers 3 isn't bad enough? We have to give the crazy bastard ideas now, too? Topless Robot has, indeed turned to the darkside.

Anyway, worst thing I can think of (off the top of my head, anyway) is that Bay decides to go with that god-awful updated version of The Touch in the movie. *shudder*

@ Casey383 ("We find out Transformers run on midichlorians"):

That'll only happen in the fourth film, which is the first part of the prequel trilogy focusing on the childhood of Optimus Prime and Megatron

Sorry dude. Bay has already stated he is done with the franchise. So unless they give it to uwe boll then things have got to be looking up.

Captured by the Decepticons, Sam Witwicky is taken to Area 51 to find another alien artifact shard. This one doesn't scramble his brain like the shard in ROTF; this one makes it hurt when he pees.

Megan Fox's character (whatever her name was) betrays him for no reason and teams up with Starscream (ladies love a big wingspan).

After fleeing from his captors, Sam escapes a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator which hurls across the Nevada desert. As he readies to emerge unharmed, the fridge ends up transforming, churning him into hamburger in the process.

The Manny Night twist - the fridge was an Autobot. The inside joke: it was named Snowjob... after the GI Joe.

Damn it! I missed Adam E's Indy 4 reference. I really like Scalpel's wife's courtroom idea, and Dim's Twitter defeats Unicron plan.

In and unprecidented display of fan service bay brings back the DINOBOTS!

The Autobots find themselves a bit outmatched by the might of Devastator from the revenge of the fallen and need to find a way to back themselves up with some new heavy hitters!

Optimus in the most logical train of though decides against going with more cars and trucks but instead wants people of earth to feel more connected to the robots with heart and in an amazing light bolt idea moment decides that dinosaurs are the most logical way to go so that people of earth feel like they have a stake in this giant battle of robots.

But get this, not only do they make the Dinobots but the Dinobots also combine to form DINO-SAUR! a gigantic dinobot voltronian heap of stupidity!

Beef and Fox get married. There are piles of transformers everywhere for the ceremony.

Fox's deadbeat dad shows up drunk to the wedding driving Devastator (cue the balls). Human drama ensues with the Beef getting beaten by pops-in-law while the autobots "not interfere," until Bumblebee takes a shit on Dad, or pisses in his drink so that he drinks it.

Meanwhile, Devastator RAPES Arcee, who was introduced earlier. She's like a pink Ferarri or something.

Arcee dies in childbirth (sorry, explodes), and the barren Fox decides she and the beef will raise it as their own. They name it Rodimus.

Turns out Rodimus can cause massive explosions. First we have some silly around-the-house explosions during a parenting montage, and then when the Decepticons want to steal him (Devastator demands custody and wants to turn him into a weapon).

We follow Beef and Fox in a futile attempt to trot the globe (but somehow always at some irreplaceable wonder of the world) alone to hide it while the Decepticons meet up with them at every ancient treasure and explode it.

Finally the Autobots trap them, win a fight, and they go hide again. Rodimus uses his abilities to save the day.

And because Watchmen broke the ice, there's mechanical blue penises everywhere.

Megatron is watching Star Wars decides figuring out a way to combine all the Decepticons to create a Death Star would be a good idea.

The scene starts with Megatron at the drive in spying on sam and that hot chick. Star Wars is on. Light bulb is shown over his head. He is contacting the other Decepticons. They all shine their lights twards the sky in approval.

Mmmmm well considering Michael Bay's leery porno style of shooting (surely all that bending over is a bit much for a kids film) I can only assume Megan Fox gets full on Roboraped. It's a long 15 minutes scene, the beef gets to yell `no` in slow mo and noone call tell which transformer is doing it.

@amarygma:
lolBluePenis XD

I predict the worst moment will be when buried underneath Mt. Rushmore Prime will find Megazord. The long lost Autobot answer to Unicron. Oh did i forget to say that Unicron is bad guy and now answers to megatron... Well moving on, Megazord then combines with All the autobots to form Super Ultra Colossal Killer Plantzoid with Beef and Ms. Perky tits, i mean Megan Fox's char driving wearing spandex suits talking to Zordon and Aplha 5 who now can transform into a Moped... Oh yeah and Megan Fox will be replaced with Susan Boyle who will wear nothing but a string bikini expect when piloting S.U.C.K. PlanetZoid.

The moment when Megan Fox sees Devastator's balls and realizes she'd rather screw a Decepticon than Shia, which Michael Bay will proceed to film.

Not really an entry, just a fucked up idea that popped into my head: the All-Spark is found to have the ability to not only control machinery, but also control anything metal. This is found out when it turns all the silverware in Sam's parents' house into a little killing machine like a T-1000, which kills his parents and their little Taco Bell dog. Its name--Fork-Q. And it looks just like Mike Bay.

The worst moment will come at the very end of the film. I'm afraid I'm going to have to give some plot spoilers to explain it.

At some point in the film, the Decepticons will succeed in disabling or imprisoning most of the Autobots. Shia will have to have to save them by taking the Matrix of Leadership to a special spot where it can tap into the power of the Earth itself.

Shia will find this spot, somewhere in the Black Hills, with the help of a patronizing American Indian stereotype and, possibly, a wise old black man as well. He and the remaining Autobots will go there, but activating the magic earth energy will require not just the Matrix, but Optimus Prime's spark as well.

So Optimus sacrifices himself, and we're treated to a lot of very expensive-looking CGI of rock formations and other natural features coming to life and destroying Decepticons.

The Worst Moment in Transformers 3 comes in the last scene, where Shia is talking to another "character" about Optimus Prime. Shia will say something like, "I have a feeling he'll never really leave us." They'll all get into Bumblebee and drive off. And as they drive away, the camera will zoom in on one of the faces on Mount Rushmore...which will wink at them.

Worst moment ever will proably be having a the pretender from Revenge of the Fallen coming back, disguising itself as Megan Fox's character (I don't bother to remeber her name, shes just eye-candy for everyone over 15), and will have sex with Sam. And then Fox walks in mid-drive and the pretender will end it all by dumping oil onto Shia's tool.

...And THEN will your childhood finaly give out after being raped and tortured since 2007.

The worst part of ANY Transformers movie for any Topless Robot reader would be admitting they actually enjoyed it.

The worst part of Transformers will be when Michael Bay finds a way to bring Arcee back to life, no doubt through some horrific abomination of a way that we cannot even fathom.
BUT WAIT! IT GETS BETTER!
So grateful to be functioning again, Arcee falls in love with Megan Fox! *GASP*
The two have a secret affair throughout the movie until Shia LaBeouf walks in on on Arcee revving Fox's engine. ;)
The "climax" will be a final battle to the death! Friend against friend! Robot against robot! Optimus Prime against Megan Fox! And just when you think things can't get any worse!
Arcee and Fox win.
Because Michael Bay is a douche who thinks he can come up with awesome movies and endings that are AWESOME when really, he's just making everyone fucking angry.
That was my story. It may or may not have dived into some FFF material there...

The giant transforming alien robot angle will be completely discarded so Bay can focus on the human caricatures that audiences really want to see.

"To Be Continued."

I'm going to have to go with Unicron showing up to have a showdown with Galactus which invites the Silver Surfer and Fantastic 4 to a crossover which would be fairly awesome if it weren't for the fact that we're talking the transformer and FF movies.
Then Jessica Alba and Megan Fox would have to have a hot-off.
Reed Richards would pair up with Optimus Prime while the Thing rode around in Bumblebee.
And the Beef and Johny Storm would compete to see who could be a bigger douche.
This is all topped by the scene where the Silver Surfer is brought back to life then turned into a transformer by the allspark which has been reconstructed due to a plot hole involving an ancient force which has never been in either continuity.
The Silver Surfer would then merge with Megatron which would then sacrifice itself to destroy both Unicron and Galactus and for some reason Megatron would accept Starscream into the Autobots ranks.
All of this would take place in roughly the first half hour of a 2+ hour movie which would then proceed to leave the ending on a cliffhanger for part 4.

The worst part of "Transformers 3" will come when the studio execs, desperate for for another big action director, replace Michael Bay with...Uwe Boll.

Optimus Prime will now spend his days drunk on wine, lying in a den with an army of prostitutes.

Bumblebee is vying for the affections of Meagan Fox against his romantic rival, Shia LeBouf, leading to an epic three-way sex scene.

Megatron will be played by Burt Reynolds.

Starscream will be played by Tara Reid.

Robot goatse. Nuff said.

The contest is for the worst moment...so give me some leeway here I have to set some shit up.

The movie opens with Shia and Fox getting married and driving away in Bumblebee who is all adorned with "Just Married" and other wedding type crap. As they drive away Fox tosses out the boquet. Either Iron Hide or Optimus will catch it.

A week or so goes by. The Autobots are hanging out with Shia's BFF "Spike". John Totorro's character shows up. Tells them he has some bad news.

Turns out Shia, Fox and BB were all found dead. The human's hearts exploded, BB is covered with thousands of tiny stab wounds and dents.

The movie then turns into a whodunnit type mystery with
Spike and some of the Autobots teaming up with some Decepticons who are also suffering from unexplained murdered comrades.The team is led by newly arrived on Earth Autobot, Hot Rod.

Clues are followed, epic battles take place with lot's of 'splosions. Until the team tracks the culprits to a super secret underground villain lair. There they have to battle their way to the lair of the big boss.

A huge door opens and the villain is finally revealed! It is none other than Mountain Dewbot from the first movie!!!

The team begins to battle with the Dewbot. Dewbot shoots cans out of his body that turn into tiny little robots and attack their targets. The tiny bots can also spray caffeine into human victims (hence the exploded hearts of sam and fox)

After Dewbot is defeated the team (Autobots and Decepticons alike) are celebrating their victory when the real villains show up and reveal themselves.

Quintasons!!!! Except instead of each Quintasons face being a different personality they are each a ludicrus racial stereotype. The Quintasons tell the transformers that they are their property and they want them back as slaves. Another big battle happens. The good guys win. The End.

sonic bomber pooping to this robot blog dude and some of his denizens.. (the japanese will go crazy for this secene..woohoo!)

Go-Bots.

'Nuff said.

Clearly, Bay has a thing for the male genitalia of robots. Bay also seems fairly predictable, so I doubt he will be changing the formula for the third movie. Here is the scene;

Shai and Megan Fox enter a dark room room after a scene where many things have blown up. The sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Megan looks at Shai. Her face tells us everything we need to know. No words are needed.
Megan and Shai go at it like two rabbits with a healthy supply of Viagra.

A noise can he heard outside. Everything stops. Camera pans to the left and out a window. Camera pans to bumblebee. And what do we find him doing? Masterbating his robot penis.

Come on. Bay has been building to this gradually. First we see a robot pee. Then we see balls. This is the only logical step. It is inevitable. Michael Bay to the rescue.

Where it turns out this whole fight was because optimus prime refused Megatron's homosexual advances and the blue balls(which Bay will show) led to the fight. It is resolved with a giant Autobot and Decepticon orgy.

I think a few of the last posters missed the mark.

Gobotse.

That's nuff said.

The worst moment of Transformers 3 will, obviously, be the scene in which it is made clear that Transformers 4 will be following (and still directed by the loving, caring hand of Michael Bay).

Very Simple Transformers part III, Unicron Ascendant, starring Gilbert Godfried as Kremzeek.

Ranchoth has to win. That was perfect.

Ok. Here's the ending for "Transformers 3:Power of the Radspark"(the "Radspark" makes everything uh..."rad" and maybe evil)

Optimus Prime(using nunchuks with plasma axes at the ends) and Megatron(who's now a Space Shuttle transforming robot)are beating the shit out of each other in an abandoned freestyle motocross arena. Suddenly, Megatron hits Prime on the side of the head with his "rocket"(because he's a Space Shuttle now and his "rocket" is placed between his legs and Devastator's "balls" pale in comparison) and Prime is severely weakened and falls to the ground. As Megatron is ready to deal the final blow, out of nowhere a Dodge Charger jumps into the arena(with explosions of course)and transforms into a Vin Diesel robot(who Michael Bay christened as "Big Block"). Big Block then tries to pummel Megatron(while screaming "I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT!") but is hammered by Megatron's "rocket".Help arrives in the form of a Nissan Skyline who drifts into the scene(this one's named "Drift" and only speaks in Japanese engrish) and a lowrider that bounced its way in(it's named "Chico" and is Mexican).

Cut to Megan Fox battling an Evil Megan Fox Decepticon(which was created when Megan Fox accidentally touched the "Radspark").Both of them are mud wrestling(because Bumblebee urinated all over the arena) and both are in their bra and panties.The Evil Megan Fox one has a Decepticon tattoo on her ass(which you can see because of the gratuitous T&A shots).They battle each other some more for quite some time, maybe 10 minutes or so.Megan Fox then suddenly wins when she removes the bra of the "evil twin" therefore exposing all the robot's circuits(in its boobs) and shutting it down.Megan fox then says:"I knew it.They were FAKE.".

Cut back to the main battle.With an almighty swing of his "rocket", Megatron decimates Big Block,Drift and Chico(again, with explosions).By this time, Megatron walks back to Prime to finish him off but Bumblebee steps in(from I don't know where) and sacrifices himself by urinating on Megatron which then short circuits both of them. The camera zooms in to Prime's face then his eye, where we see a single sparkly tear.Shia the Beef screams "nononoNO!NO!NO!" as he ran towards Bumblebee's remains. But Megatron is still alive!Although weakened and his chest exposed, Megatron hobbled toward the Beef and tries to crush him."USE THE RADSPARK!" shouts Prime but the Radspark is too far away for the Beef.The Beef then pulls out a pack of Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M's and chucks it into Megatron's chest.Megatron explodes into a 2 minute CGI,metallic, chocolatey mess and the Beef says"Melts in your mouth, not in your chest. Bastard."

Fade to black.

The last scene show everything is alright as the world was once again saved by the Beef and he and Megan Fox are now looking into each other's eyes. As they are ready to kiss, Megan Fox's eyes widen and blood trickles out of her lips. The camera pans down and we see a blade sticking out of her belly.The next shot shows the blade connected to a robotic arm and the arm is connected to................

A kid with a rose in his other hand, wearing a pink shirt, shorts, and looks like he's from the 80's.

duhn-duhn-DUHN!!!

The words "TO BE CONTINUED" appear on the screen right before the credits roll....

This contest is awesome.

FlyingNoypi.......you win man. Contest over, give it to this man right here.

Act 1 - Unicron attacks a forgotten transformer world. In the middle of the transformers' futile defense, Unicron consumes an entire wave of defenders whose techno-jibberish shrieks fill the theater. Some Radar O'Reilly transformer at the transformers' command center watches on in terror, his fear evidenced by the widening apertures of his ocular sensors - then the shrieking and score go silent and Unicron farts out some robot parts. The Radar O'Reilly transformer says something techno-jibberishy and Bay subtitles the moment with, "Holy sh*t."

Act 2 - Bumblebee falls in love and has to choose between Shia and his robot friend. He chooses Shia and then quotes either a Neil Patrick Harris line from _How I Met Your Mother_, or else Turtle from _Entourage_.

Act 3 - Shia is sent with Megan and a crack team of demolitions/mining experts to plant a nuke on Unicron. Bruce Willis cameo? Hell yeah. They ride up in that triple-changer Astrotrain because Bay doesn't care that he was a Decepticon. Nickleback contributes a song for the ride down while Shia and Megan share a moment, and Astrotrain says something cleverly disguised as an innuendo in the same way the Bay transformers are cleverly disguised.

The episode "The girl who loves Powerglide" will be redone with live actors and CGI and inserted into the actual movie.

not an entry:

transformers lose their ability to transform, start riding giant sized dirtbikes and have fights while doing flips in the air--just like 'charlie's angels:full throttle'.

Ok, I wasn't originally going to enter this contest, but then a friend somehow struck me with inspiration. Here is what has resulted.

What we need is a female Decepticon whose "vagina" shreds or crushes things. What Devastator has going on in the current trailers would be perfect.

And then maybe we can have a male Autobot cement mixer. His name could be Mixmaster, unless that was already taken in RotF by those Constructicons. But then, who cares, we're already on our second Devastator. But for the sake of this, we'll name him Quickmix, after the Autobot Targetmaster from G1.

Quickmix, assuming that Mixmaster in RotF doesn't already have it, has the cement slide coming from his cement drum coming out from between his legs. And from there, he can cover the female Decepticon (who I'm calling Strika, after the evil BM/Animated female Decep) in his cement. That comes out from between his legs.

Wait, this is a Michael Bay film. Make that "comes exploding awesomely from between his legs."

Oh, and Minicons can somehow be transferred through the cement. Into the Decepticon. And I don't know, Powerlink with her Spark or something. I'm sure you see where this is going, and get the idea. There will be plenty of smaller explosions, but they'll be super-IMAX close-ups, to ensure awesomeness.

The two are/fall in love, and have this whole Romeo and Juliet thing going on. Sure, it's been done before and better in Beast Wars, but stick with me here, because none of that matters. This is a Michael Bay film.

Anyway, it's a Romeo/Juliet thing. With lots of crushing and grinding. And even though Quickmix won't have guns that transform into little robots or little alien people in exo-suits, he'll still be a "Targetmaster," get it? Meanwhile, Strika will be a Headmaster. Clearly, they're from two different worlds. This can be more clearly illustrated by making him a TransFormer from Earth, and she a TransFormer from Cybertron, as audiences might have trouble following along with anything less.

Indeed, many of his best bits will involve using the names of various TransFormers characters and elements in ways God, Primus, or Unicron never intended. Lots of non sequiturs, such as how he's a real "Hot Rod," but she won't mistake him for a Blurr, etc. Sureshot, Misfire, Nightbeat... the material practically writes itself and carries us along.

Oh, and I almost forgot: When an older Autobot stumbles upon the two, we get the obligatory "Two Bots, One Kup" joke.

And perhaps the innuendo will be too much, and the older Autobot's head simply explodes in an awesome fashion.

This ultimately leads to Optimus Prime and Megatron discovering the union, and realizing the errors of their ways. In order to atone and remove all possible obstacles towards a peaceful future for all younger generations of TransFormers, they respectfully kill each other. Perhaps for this, Megatron could finally turn into a gun, but deliberately jam himself so that when Optimus goes to shoot himself in the head, they both die in a humongous explosion.

And the movie ends in a double-wedding, with Shia and Megan Fox on one side, and Quickmix and Strika on the other. And it'll be funny and stuff, because they'll be these two humans getting married next to these two giant robots. Get it?

Once the vows are exchanged, lots of awesome explosions. Think of a sort of "firing into the air hillbilly wedding" sort of thing.

As you've probably guessed, this will be Michael Bay's attempt at winning an Oscar for a prestige picture. Should he win (let's not hold our breath, now), he triggers an awesome explosion upon the stage. Perhaps with an announcement of TransFormers 4: Adventures in Micromaster-sitting.

@Bill -

I first read that as 'The Girl Who Loves Astroglide".

My way is more interesting.

First Act: It shows the Autobots winning the war against the Decepticons. (Micheal Bay called this rivalry "Gay" and Eighties.") Enjoying the spoils of war while kicking back in their lair, which looks like Alcatraz located on an asteroid headed for earth, the Autobots are attacked by a giant cartoon polar bear that is voiced by John Di Maggio. Sam Witwicky screams intolerably.

Second Act: Explosions.

Third Act: Megan Fox is covered in dirt and is wearing a sexily torn shirt and unthinkably small jean shorts.

Remainder to be determined

@W.M.House- What the F**k do you have against bender? Damn dirty meatbag...

I'm sure this has already been said, but..

TF3/Indy 5 crossover...Shia the Beef takes on a time-traveling Decepticon in the 1960s with his trusty whip and transforming refrigerator. Optimus falls in love with JFK's car just days before that fateful drive through Dallas and must decide whether to stop her, a la "City on the Edge of Forever." Harrison Ford makes a cameo sharing war stories with Jetfire. The film ends in a cliffhanger as Indy Jr. blasts into space to rescue Neil Armstrong from Unicron, who has been hiding on the dark side of the moon and eating every monkey we've shot into space.

Megan Fox will still be hot and heavily featured in the trailer which will convince 90% of us to give up $15 and 3 hours of our lives.

deciding Devistator was a hit michel will introduce Superion and he will be like devistor with new desgin including his package showing and also will introduce more fan faves and kill them horribly plus will have sam and megan fox break up and spike will be itroduced and work for the decpitcons not to mention bay will introduce the dinbots and they will be jar jar binks like. and then get killed off painfully after Grim lock pee's on bumblebee

Sam is revealed to be the Son of Primus. He dies for the sins of Optimus and rises three days later as a new Cybertron.

Megan Fox turns out to have been Unicron. She and Primus battle, but the battle quickly turns into giant robot-planet sex.

The Transformers gather upon the grinding forms of Primus and Unicron and happily gaze into the sunset as Linkin Park music plays.

LeBeef will have a 40 ft. robotic suit built for him so that the fate of the universe can be decided in a WWE style tag team match between him Prime, Megatron, and Starscream. Possibly a ladder match as well.

Worst part about Transformers 3?

When Shia the Beef has to play a Wii and constantly cries "NO!"

Wait, actually... that's the best part. Fuck that guy.

http://kotaku.com/5299140/shia-labeouf-totally-hates-the-wii

Ranchoth - The absolute best piece of narrative ever uttered in relation to the Transformers universe! You are a winner!

The worst part of Transformers three is where they decide that trying to make sentient robot lifeforms simply sentient lifeforms is too absurd, and "retcon" all that information in a series of scenes where they try to pack in as many TV show references as possible in hopes of regaining their fanbase.

By the way, I want my manspanking session now.

The worst part of Transformers 3: The Autobots strike back?

The beginning, the middle and the end.

A group of this generation's most distinguished and prolific character actors are rounded up and humiliated for our amusement. John Turrturo is forced to drink robo piss. Jody Foster, James Gandolfini, and Steve Buscemi are pooped on by a group of robots. Helen Mirren is teabaged by Devastator's robot balls. Forrest Whitaker has his Oscar shoved up his ass. It escalates and becomes more and more graphic and degrading until they cross the line....they gang rape Kate Winslet. The entire time, the transformers are screaming homophobic slurs and shouting "this is what America wants to see! All of your artistry and stories and acclaimed indie films mean nothing to 90% of the public!" All the while, Shia and Megan look on. Shia winks at Optimus Prime and gives him a thumbs up. All set to Linkin Park.

Fuck i haven't got the time to read and process all this stuff above but the worst momment in TF3 is going to be the moment the opening credits run and I slap myself repeatedly knowing I can't wake up, that it's all real and that my by then 11 year old Son has dragged me into another fucking pointless and empty explosion-fest full of blank-eyed wankers that you just want the Tinfoil Bots to roll over and crush and I scream at the lost time/money/childhood memories getting shredded for a third time by a hateful Hollywood.

Fuck Michael Bay. That's the only T Shirt I want this summer.

Y'all know that the worst part is going to be every bit of the movie, right? Including the scene where Megatron turns into a penis-shaped gun, after Bay promises to "give the fans something from the original series" and then adds his own, erm, style to it?

Re-sults! Re-sults! Re-sults! Re-sults! Re-sults! Re-sluts! Hmm? SLUTS! SLUTS! SLUTS! SLUTS! SLUTS! SLUTS! YAAAAAY!

I know I'm too late but oh well. The worst scene of the third movie will be : As megatron and optimus are fighting to the death there will be 20 other robots that you can't tell apart that are fighting and blowing shit up, and as we cut back to megatron and prime fighting, Megatron lands a stunning blow on our hero and as he lay wounded lokking up at his nemesis mega tron will start a monologue about how futile it is to protect humans and blah blah blah. As he goesd in for the kill we hear the expected 'No No No No!!!' From the beef and then the film will burn out and the screen will go blank for a few seconds, when it come back in it will be a camera looking up at micheal bay who then drops his pants and tea bags the camera for a few minutes while we listen to linkin parks latest remash of 'what I've done' just with different lyrics. Then for the finally john turrturro pees on the camera...... Fin.

Dan> TLC.

sam has to journey to the center of the earth with the allspark to turn the earth into a giant transformer to defend it from unicron. he succeeds. the earth transforms and everyone on it gets flung into space anyway. but unicron loses the fight. yaaaay!!!

"The Autobots figure out that they can run on plants and grass and don't need energon to function. They do this with the help of liberals, PETA, hippies, and best of all President Obama. Autobots all then take the form of Green Toyota Prius Vehicles (making it only slightly more difficult to tell them apart).

It's also discovered that Unicron and the Decepticons are responsible for Climate Change and the melting polar ice caps. Decepticons prefer energon and think Grass and plants are boring. They then take the form of Hum-vee's and Devestator becomes a smog spewing coal plant.

Eventually Unicron and the Decepticons are defeated, but not before Earth is rendered uninhabitable. Hippy Autobot Mirage finds out the only way to save cybertron is to plant a tree and turn cybertron into a cyberswamp. The autobots move back to Cybertron and save only the hippies who believed in Global Warming. Repubilicans and Decepticons are left to rot on Earth together and die in an oil covered nuclear winter.

Oh, and by the way, the big twist at the end. President Obama is a transformer. Our President was a hologram controlled all along by Wreck-gar the Junkion the catchpharase stealing motorcycle."

You forgot the part where Unicron sings Toxic Love from Fern Gully, and is voiced by Tim Curry.

...wait... that'd actually be kinda cool...

does anybody no if jazz is coming back for transformers 3