Weep and despair, because Shia the Beef -- currently touring to promote the scrappy indie film Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen -- told the BBC that "Steven [Spielberg] just said that he cracked the story on it before I left and I think they're gearing that up."
I don't know whether to shit my pants in fear or be cautiously optimistic, and I'll explain why -- the biggest problem with Crystal Skull was George Lucas' mind-shatteringly awful plot, which called for nuked fridges, the Beef becoming king of the monkeys, and intensely powerful aliens who couldn't find a crystal skull but wanted to leave within 30 seconds of having returned to them. If Indy 5 is mainly Spielberg's story, as the Beef is intimating, then maybe we have a chance of the film not featuring Harrison Ford and the Beef painting a tunnel on a mountainside so that the bad guys drive their jeep into it, Wile E. Coyote style.
On the other hand, Indy 4 was held-up for years because the script -- which many excellent writers took a crack at over the years -- didn't meet with Lucas' approval, and yet what ended up as Crystal Skull somehow did. The only reason he would back off for #5 is because he admits that Crystal Skull was a mess, and I don't see that happening. So... yeah. I think I'm going to shit my pants in fear now.
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I HOPE they don't make a fifth one. George Lucas and Steven Spielberb teamed up to find a way to hide their minds as far from themselves as possible, and after forgetting where they were, made crystal skull. The next one can't possibly be good until they find their minds...which I doubt they will, they are so far away...
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@Anonymous Fortunately, Star Trek was awesome. Indy 4 was not.
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Let's just end civilization now to make sure this shit-sandwich never comes to pass. It's a small fucking price to pay. And fuck all the hater-fuckers...this is the internet and what else would we be left with but bad Trek Porn without em?!!
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this just proves hollywood is bound and determine to run a franchise into death and Lucas must finaly have lost his mind to actully consider idiana five maybe he will not give the okay and Harrision will turn down being Indy one more time. or worse mutt takes over as it looks like Indy five will be
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Have Mythbusters done an Indie-In-A-Fridge show yet? I look forward to it if they haven't.
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As far as the whole atlantis thing, I think I might have just realized why I disliked crystal skull so much. The whole pseudoscience angle. As a kid, the idea that there could be an ark that would burn the faces off nazis, or a magic cup that could make people immortal didn't bother me. When the crystal skull magic came up, watching it as an adult, I just kept feeling like the "people actually believe this is real" text from southpark's scientology episode was blinking onscreen.
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This movie will suck regardless of the script and plot because Spielberg is still trying to convince us that Shia LeButtefuke is believable as an action hero.
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I disagree. I thought Crystal Skull was a lot of fun and perfectly fit in with the silliness of the entire Indy series. I like that it was an "atomic age" movie. The fridge scene was no more ridiculous than Indy jumping out of a plane with a raft so I'm not sure why people seem to have a problem with it. Yay, Indy 5, bring it on!
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The thing is, the next film would be an adventuresome Mr & Mrs Archeologist, a wayward son, trying to find his own place in the world outside of his father's shadow (with a love interest this time) who would be arguing with 'dad' all the time. Sound familiar? Why, yes; The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor! Put the film to sleep now, before it turns into a pale imitation of a pale imitation!
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Yeah, Crystal Skull was disappointing, but I wouldn't mind if they took another shot at it as long has they aren't going to do it half-assed. The first half of Crystal Skull was good, but the thing fell apart from there, but I would still take it over the first two Star Wars prequels anyway. I guess well see what happens.
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Sorry, but this just sounded like juvenile nerd rage, the same I experienced when Star Trek was announced: "Noooo it's an action-adventure, my childhood is ruined!"
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Crystal Skull would have been better had Sean Connery signed on to be Indy's dad again. The part of the crazy fuck in the jungle could have been Connery and the movie would have made your balls explode.
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I suppose I'm one of the few that actually liked the "nuking the fridge" scene. Honestly, up until the last 20 minutes I thought it was a great film. The ending was not thought out very well and very rushed. I didn't even mind the aliens at the end, but it could have been done a lot better (i.e. the ending left a lot of plot holes). Besides, the Indy movies (and comics) have always had far fetched stories that are not grounded in reality...a big part of the fun in my opinion. I'm optimistic for the 5th...I definitely hope Spielberg/Lucas learn from their mistakes. Listen to the fans (some of them anyway) and give us a solid film from start to finish. Having said all that, the Shia/monkey scene was when it all started to turn to shit. I was hoping they'd leave him out of the next one (or write him out of the movie early), but I guess we'll be stuck with Mutt since Mr. LaBeouf has come a draw for a certain demographic. And lets not forget Crystal Skull had the second highest gross last year. I must not be alone in thinking it wasn't such a bad movie. Like Arsenal said above, I also wear fanboy glasses.
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I watched the crystal skull and didnt enjoy a moment because i couldnt stop criticizing the awful awful film they had made.. South Park had it right; Indy was raped!... its because the film made money but thats only because you cant be sure it sucks until you watch it,... i hope they at least watch the original trilogy to refresh their memory this time...
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I won't watch it. No more old Harrison Ford. No more Shia LeDouche (in ANYTHING). My money will never touch this movie.
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If you can't have fun watching an Indiana Jones movie, You're a Goddam stick in the mud. Crystal Skull was fun. Fuck all the hate for this movie.
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I hope they do make another Indy movie, but then again the flaws in Crystal Skull didn't keep me from enjoying it. Liked it very much, in fact. But yes, the less Lucas, the better. It's either now or never for more Indy with Harrison Ford, and I think he's still got one more left in him.
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@ZeroCorpse: Eh, you could easily pull a trick with Marion to have her fill the Sophia / psychic role if need be. Or no need to have her divorce Indy - just have Sophia be one of the post-Marion women they talked about in Crystal Skull, and have her and Marion verbally sparring with each other all movie. Cliche, I know, but this is a series based on cliches anyway. That way, Indy doesn't have to be the pure skeptic he was in the game.
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South Park was right. "They raped him! And we just let it happened!" Oh the humanity!
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Add me to the list of people who would pay to see Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis. Keep Indy, use his son in place of Marcus Brody, drop Marion (divorced?), hire someone else (May I recommend Helen Mirren?) to play Sophia Hapgood, and then KEEP Klaus Kerner and Hans Ubermann and make them a throwback from the Nazi party... Just because WWII is long over doesn't mean there can't be some pockets of Third Reich leftovers looking to get back via the power of Atlantian orichalcum. Now you can't tell me that a team-up of Harrison Ford's Indy and Helen Mirren as Sophia wouldn't be entertaining... It would be great! And it would give us an excuse to watch Helen Mirren on screen for a couple hours.
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Crystal Skull was fine. Was it Raiders or even Last Crusade? No. But it wasn't any sillier than any other summer blockbuster out there (well, aside from something genre-transcending like Dark Knight), and Harrison Ford doing his thing more than cancels out Shia's issues. Just adapt the Fate of Atlantis plotline and be done with it - replace the Nazis with the Russians and you're good. I'd have hated it a lot more if he put the hat on at the end of the movie. My biggest gripe was that it didn't feel as though Indy was ever really in danger during the movie, but that comes with being 18 years older when I watched it than Last Crusade.
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Um... I loved Crystal Skull. Fuck the haters.
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@davelog Ah, see, I like to think that it is more akin to "a movie that came out after the franchise had been considered finished or no longer viable in the cinematic realm." In which case, the statement would still stand since Star Trek was well received by critics and fans, whereas Crystal Skull...I kinda get the feeling not too many people liked it. And I only smoke S.O.S. Soap Pads in my pipes, thank you very much!
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<i>"Steven [Spielberg] just said that he cracked the story on it before I left and I think they're gearing that up."</i> Oh Shia, honey, it's sweet that you still have the willpower to call it a story after that mess of a 4th film plot.
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>> Hence the notion that they are MIRROR images, i.e. opposites. I wasn't implying that everyone in Indiana Jones wore goatees and had agonizers. So... you're suggesting that the Star Trek movies started horrible and ended great? Cuz that'd be the mirror image of the Indy series. Time to change the brillo in your pipe, matt.
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I dunno, ClancyDamon, the kid they got to play his younger self in The Last Crusade was pretty good. Why not get him? I'm sure he's not too busy, haven't seen him in many projects lately... Hold on, my wife told me to check out River Phoenix on Wikipedia. Be right back...
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Fridge-nuking aside, my biggest problem with Crystal Skull was something most people admit but don't talk about - Harrison Ford sucked. He <b><i>IS</i></b> Indiana Jones. Unlike Bond, no one else can fill those shoes. Yet when you watch Crystal Skull, you don't see Indiana Jones. You see an old Harrison Ford phoning it in. He just didn't seem to care. God help me, but Shia TheBeef was a better actor in that film. At least you could tell he was fucking trying.
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@Braceforimpact Hence the notion that they are MIRROR images, i.e. opposites. I wasn't implying that everyone in Indiana Jones wore goatees and had agonizers.
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@MattK Star Trek didn't start with movies.
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Okay Archer and Matt K you have cheered me up! Mainly because I am sick and tired of the endless fridge and monkey people that continue to complain. I am a nerd and even I have to say grow the hell up. I expect better from TR than to dredge all this bullshit up again. It's Indiana Jones for Christ's sake and NOTHING that happened in KOTCS isn't something that can be equaled in any of the original 3 films.
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I am excited no matter how you look at it. I am a whore for anything Indiana Jones, Star Wars or Ghostbusters. I have fanboy glasses that I will wear and they will all be awesome
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I'm tired of Lucas getting all the blame for Crystal Skull. Of course he IS to blame,but Speilberg equally so. The whole nuke-the-fridge thing was something Speilberg thought up for Back to the Future....and Zemeckis thought it was too stupid to use. Word around Hollywood is Speilberg hung onto that idea and tired to use it in EVERY FILM since then...Jurassic Park,Saving Private Ryan,Schindlers List...at one point or another,Speilberg looked at each of those films and tried to work in a fridge-nuking scene. I'd say the amount of blame for Crystal Skullfuck is 50/50 Lucas AND Speilberg....which means theres no hope for the future of this franchise. Oddly enough,the Saucer Men from Mars script that Lucas and his little pet writer wrote is actually not bad....its a damn sight better than the script that Speilberg and Ford DID agree on,thats for sure!
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@Archer I prefer all retorts to my comments to be worded in quotes from either Happy Gilmore or the Wedding Singer, if you are to go with an Adam Sandler movie. Your retort would have been more accurate if you had used this quote: "I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive."
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Perhaps all the negative feedback will help him to make a better movie or persuade him not to make one at all?
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Crappy indie film heh good stuff. I really think its time for hollywood to not make any movies for a while. Everything they are doing is either a remake or a crappy attempt at bringing a comic book or tv series to the big screen and they have consistently failed. Zack Snyder did a great job with watchmen but for every good movie like that we get 10 ultra shitty movies. So until hollywood has a truly original thought they should quit trying.
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Crappy indie film heh good stuff. I really think its time for hollywood to not make any movies for a while. Everything they are doing is either a remake or a crappy attempt at bringing a comic book or tv series to the big screen and they have consistently failed. Zack Snyder did a great job with watchmen but for every good movie like that we get 10 ultra shitty movies. So until hollywood has a truly original thought they should quit trying.
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@Mattk "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
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I thought Crystal Skull was watchable. Not as bad as Episode I, anyway. I'm remaining cautiously optimistic, but at the first sign of bullshit I'm abandoning all interest.
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So far, the Indiana Jones series has been a mirror image of the Star Trek saga: it started in movies and later had a TV series that acted as prequel episodes to the (relatively) modern movie time, and the odd number movie installments have been brilliant while the even number entries are slightly less (and despite the extreme hate for Crystal Skull, I'd take it any day over The Motion-less Picture or Star Trek V: Shatner Rocks!). So perhaps, since the 5th film was definitely one of the worst Star Trek films, perhaps Indiana Jones 5 may actually be as good as Raiders (yeah right).
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The world is going to poop in a handbag and this is what you rant about? Wait... This is bad. Carry on, then, good soldier, and on to GI Joe 2!
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