There's no hope in humanity...

Michael Bay should direct as should he direct Asteroids. Especially after the "good" job he's done raking in the cash for suits in Hollywood, this should be his just reward. Directing all manners of shit from past decades. Pong 3D- a Michael Bay film. Maybe a ghetto blackfaced version of snap crackle and pop meets Tony the Tiger. Pulse pounding Pole Position the movie. Topgun - no not the one w Tom Cruise, just the one of the videogame where you'll get close ups of the bobbing seat contraption. Glad plastic sandwich bags. Head and shoulders 2- dandruff shampoo the movie. I can think of no better fate for the man than to mine nicknack and detritus for 2 hours+ of "entertainment" for the rest of his life.

Clue made a pretty good movie some years back. Red Herrings and whatnot

I loved clue, i must have seen it at least 30 times when I was 12.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088930/

This is the result of capitalism and/or poor imagination, someone wants to make a National Treasure for kids or a spaceflick and .....

Argrr Fuck its to damn hot, to weird and my realitysense is adjusting to the U2/spiderman musical

Every time I hear about this sort of thing, it gets more and more ridiculous, like someone is playing a joke on us. Asteroids? View Master? Is Tic Tac Toe going to be next?

I'll bet a pack of original Garbage Pail Kids cards that this is a movie about someone looking into the ViewMaster and seeing:

A: Their fantasy life
B: The past/the future
C: Just generally crazy CGI crap

In other words, this will be "CLICK!" but with a ViewMaster. Person gets ViewMaster, opens door to imagination/the past/the future/insanity and animators get to show us wacky stuff interacting with human actors against a green screen. Wheeeeeeeeee!

And I'll bet a box of Cracker Jacks that Jim Carrey is in it.

RIP Hollywood.

and seconded on the Orci/Kurtzman manhunt.

I don't understand why Kurtzman and Orci get a pass on Star Trek. It made about as much sense as Transformers, it was just directed in a way that sort of covered for the awful script. These two symbolize, to me, everything wrong with the movie industry.

Jigsaw Puzzle: The Movie

I thought things were going downhill when King wrote a novelette about the kindle. Sorry, about a MAGIC kindle that could scale the levels of the dark tower.

/And yes, I bought it. Can't....get....clean.

how about...

1) Thumbwrestling: Spirit of the Thumb

2) Paper Rock Scissors (starring the rock)PERFECT! also with its pornly punned counterpart...Paper Cock Scissors

3) hopscotch: squares of death!

4) hide-and-seek (kids fall into portals like Land of the Lost and must all find each other to get back to earth)

5) timeout (it's a parent's punishment, but look, kids, it can also be an enjoyable movie!)

6) coodies (tiny aliens from outerspace must make it back to their mother ship on the girl in the other side of the classroom.

there you go, hollywood. don't say i never gave you noth'n--besides my hard-earned money.

HOOP-N-STICK: THE MOVIE

A View-Master movie? Where is my Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors movie?? Or Silverhawks??? Or Thundercats????

I can't imagine a more insepid film. Who wants to watch a movie of kids looking thru their View-Master?!?

that proves hollywood is so bankrupt its run out of ideas. and is scraping the bottom of the barrel can see michel bay getting the job.

JeremyA said:

"I don't understand why Kurtzman and Orci get a pass on Star Trek. It made about as much sense as Transformers, it was just directed in a way that sort of covered for the awful script. These two symbolize, to me, everything wrong with the movie industry."

Seconded.

It sounds like the most hideous thing on earth, but I can actually kind of see how it could be done. The possibilities are endless really, just make sure you throw in a View-Master to facilitate whatever is going on.
But, as with Asteroids, why bother licensing it?! It does nothing but put the audience in an 'Ohgodwtfwhy...' mood, no matter how cleverly they by some miracle manage to make it.

Also, no offense meant to anyone, I understand the sentiment, but I wish people in general would stop saying that 'Hollywood is out of ideas' when a bad sounding movie is announced. They've been making horrible movies along with the gems for ages. Go exert a bit of energy to actively search out something good and watch it.

(I don't believe I'm very happy today. :p)

Um... what's the problem? It's probably safe to say that it's going to be about some kind of magical Viewmaster. Were you all freaking out and up in arms when they announced Click (magical remote control) or Jumanji (magical board game)?

It's GOOD that this is just some hunk of plastic with no attached mythology. It's a flippin' plot device. And this way, at least there are no expectations attached and nobody's childhood gets raped. ("I can't believe what those bastards did to my favorite slide of that giraffe on the veldt! Did you see his costume? And what's with that accent? Giraffes don't talk! They totally should have cast Cillian Murphy like I posted on all the Viewmaster fan sites.")

So maybe... chill out on this one?

(Now if it turns out to be a film about a cute talking Viewmaster that goes on an adventure with some kids who are trying to return him to Planet Viewmaster while they're being chased by the one-eyed View Miser, whose lack of stereoscopic vision has led to a vendetta against the entire Viewmaster race because, well, he can't enjoy their Viewmaster-y goodness, then I'll gladly rescind this comment, pick up my torch, and join the mob. :-) )

Some dude finds a Viewmaster in a box of junk left over from the previous tenant, only the slides show a murder frame by frame. The tenant, who is in reality America's most successful serial killer, realizes his mistake and moves to intercept our protagonist and the Viewmaster before he can hand it over to the police.

BAM. Done.

Maybe the movie will be about the toxic waste site in Beaverton, OR where the former View-Master factory was, or the 25 thousand View-Master workers exposed to the carcinogenic industrial solvent trichloroethylene in the factory drinking fountains.

I would say They Live, but with a Viewmaster instead of shades.
Seems kinda shittily awesome.

This is even more horrible than the Pokefic...

Alright Does anyone else feel like they are living in The world of the television series, "The Critic" Jay Sherman couldn't make this shit up, and they were making fun of the movie industry with a Game Show based movie "Million Dollar Pyramid"

First I hear about Stretch Arm Strong which I felt was pretty horrible, but doable

Than Monopoly which I just don't understand how.

Than the latest was Asteroids the video game, which is about a triangle shooting blocks to smaller blocks, why they need to make a movie on a an asteroid makes little sense.

Now Viewmaster. A movie on View Master Toy. I feel like I am taking crazy pills or the Matrix is just getting over a virus.

Honestly I hope everyone of these movies does so horrible that it forces some companies to shut down forever. we don't need this shit.

Okay, all I have to say is if this works, I will be anxiously awaiting...

CROSS-FIRE, THE MOVIE!

In all actuality, this movie would be perfect for Michael Bay. Plenty of opportunities for explosions.

"You'll get caught up in it!"

Ehhh, the movie will probably have as much to do with Viewmaster as Doom had to do with the video games.

Which of course means it will be shite!

Eh, I don't think this'll be a huge deal. It's like how Jumanji was made after a book about a board game; i was still entertained.

This is effin rediculous. I'm a stand-up and I've been doing a joke about this, "Dradle the Motion Picture, Capgun Reloaded and Viewmaster 3 in 3-D".

Hollywood better stop steeling my act for crappy movies.