A Viewmaster Movie. A @#$%ing Viewmaster Movie.

From Coming Soon:

“Fringe” co-producer/writer Brad Caleb Kane will be writing a movie based on the View-Master toy, which first came on the market in 1939.



He announced on his Twitter account that after he’s done penning the sci-fi action-adventure Uprising for director Wolfgang Petersen and Columbia Pictures, he will take on the project for DreamWorks Pictures.



Kane says Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (“Fringe,” Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Star Trek) are behind the film and that it will be “like the old 80’s Amblin movies: Goonies, Young Sherlock… In that vein.”

Oh. My Fucking. God. Now I have always believed in the potential greatest of movies based on ’80s franchises, albeit those with cartoons and mythologies more than just toylines. And after Pirates of the Caribbean, I can understand how movies based on board games — and there are many of them in the works — could be doable, like Clue being a murder mystery and Battleship being a naval battle flick. But.

But the Viewmaster is a fucking hunk of plastic. It’s a device to look at slides. There’s no rich mythology about the Viewmaster, no potential characters, no nothing. It’s like making a movie based on a Lite Brite or a rubber bouncy ball. This is fucking insanity.

Also, I think Kurtzman and Orci need to officially be stopped. Yes, they wrote the great Star Trek reboot movie and are responsible for the sharply improved Fringe TV series. But they also wrote both Transformers movie script and are now indirectly involved in this. I don’t believe the good they’re doing is justifying the evil they’re generating. It’s not worth it any more.