Worst Moment in G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra: And the Winner Is...

By Rob Bricken in Miscellaneous, Movies
Monday, August 3, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I have to admit these these two guys summed up what I feel the movie is exactly.

The Flash III said:
At some point when using the accelerator suits, someone, probably the 3rd-or-4th most-talented Wayans, will rip off some hot chicks clothes, leaving her suprised and covering herself and standing in her bra and panties. I think this is will happen.

YES. I refuse to believe this secene won't be in the movie. If it doesn't end up in the theaters, it'll be a deleted scene. If it's not, I will eat my Trouble Bubble.

GUMBERCULES! said:
Marlon Wayans fights a super-nano-enhanced Cobra soldier in Washington DC at the end of the movie. First, the soldier knocks him into the Pentagon September 11th memorial, where they beat each other with parts of the display. Marlon throws a bouquet of flowers left by a grieving family member at the soldier, which only makes him mad, and quips, "So much for flower power!"
 
Marlon is hit so hard, he hits the Vietnam Memorial next. Marlon knocks over the black stone panels in a mad dash to run away. Horrified Vietnam vets look on as a jackass desecrates their memorial.
 
The fight goes to the national archives, where after being smashed into the case holding the Constitution, Marlon holds up the Bill of Rights as a sheild and yells, "Don't taze me, bro!" The Cobra soldier punches right through it.
 
The last part of the fight takes place at the Lincoln Memorial, where the soldier charges Marlon at full speed. Marlon leapfrogs over him, and smashes the nano-soldiers head into the memorial as hard as he can, resulting in a bone crunching sound, and the super-nano-soldier's death rattle.
 
The camera pans back to show the Cobra soldier's body stuck, head first, into President Lincoln's crotch. Marlon straightens up like he's the greatest American hero ever, salutes the statue, and says, "Good work, Ben Franklin!"
 
The film wins 5 academy awards, and my soul dies.
Sadly, that's a little too specific to be in the movie exactly, but the idea of Marlon Wayans embedding a Cobra soldier headfirst in Abraham Lincoln's statue's crotch is just too plausible, given what we've seen so far. Wayans calling him "Ben Frankin" is just the icing on the cake. I'd seriously look for this scene almost verbatim in one of the sequels.

Thank all you guys for entering; you all did another bang-up job. Now, the good reviews are still coming in for the movie, although these are from random dudes with movie sites instead of Joe fans or movie critics, so who really knows. We could be pleasantly surprised. I doubt it, but stranger things have happened, I suppose.

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