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Okay, But Does the Corn Sparkle or Break Into Your Room at Night?


People have bitched here at TR about my coverage of Twilight, and wondered why I mention it at all. The easy answer is that it has vampires, even if they’re nothing like vampires. I could say it’s a nerdy property that exploded into a broader, non-nerd audience, much like Harry Potter did, like it or not. But really, it’s because Twilight is still making shit like this happen:

newmoon-cornmaze-doctor.jpg

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You’re looking at Twilight: the Corn Maze. From Utah’s Deseret [sic]News:

The second “Twilight” movie is arriving early in northern Utah, sort of.

The theme of Utah’s largest corn maze this year is “New Moon,” the sequel in the popular Twilight saga.

Although
the movie doesn’t arrive in theaters until Nov. 20, this 24-acre corn
maze opens Sept. 24 and continues through Oct. 31.

Aerial
photos show that two separate “Twilight”-themed maze patterns at Black
Island Farms, 3178 S. 3000 West, have already been cut into the corn —
a “Team Jacob” and a “Team Edward.” (In the movie, Bella can choose
Edward or Jacob as her boyfriend.)

The lettering “New moon 11-20-09” is also a part of the maze.

A side design in the corn depicts a KUTV reporter or anchorman holding a microphone.

GPS technology is used to cut the intricate patterns into the corn.

The
idea of a corn maze is to enter and then eventually conquer the
labyrinths by finding the lone exit. Getting “lost” is part of the fun.

Black
Island is a working vegetable farm, with about 400 acres in
cultivation, growing carrots, onions, cabbage, corn, pumpkins, squash
and gourds.

I’ve been trying to think of some joke to wrap this story up with, but really… do I need to? Is there any witticism I can make that will make the above news article and the subject of its coverage any more ridiculous? I say thee nay. (Via FilmDrunk)