J. Jonah Jameson Was So Right It’s Crazy
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?The headline for tomorrow’s Daily Bugle will read “Spider-Man: Threat and Menace,” and frankly, I don’t think anyone will be able to contradict it. Not only has the neighborhood’s increasingly unfriendly wallcrawler punched a dude in L.A. last Friday, but now he’s robbed a Papa Murphy’s pizzeria in Tacoma, WA, at gun-point yesterday. From the Star-Tribune:
The
robbery occurred about 7:10 p.m. at Papa Murphy’s, 2024 Sixth Ave.,
Tacoma police spokesman Mark Fulghum said Tuesday. The bandit robbed
the employees, then fled. No one was hurt. A police dog searched for the
robber but did not find him.
Clearly, One More Day has scarred Spidey more than any of us realized. Plus, this is just after Spider-Man robbed a bank in Southlake, TX — that’s him on a Bank of America security cam above. From the Star-Telegram:
Bank of America employees told police Friday that two men wearing Spider-Man masks had robbed the bank. But
after reviewing photos from security cameras, FBI investigators now
think one robber was a Spider-Woman, police said Wednesday.The
robbers entered the bank in the 2000 block of West Southlake Boulevard
about 9:30 a.m. One jumped onto a counter and the other threatened
employees and customers with a handgun.
Not that I believe Jessica Drew is necessarily innocent, but didn’t Ben Reilly just start popping back up in the comics? Are we sure this isn’t a new part of the clone saga? And furthermore, how the fuck did Spider-Man webswing from Texas to Washington? There’s like over 2000 miles, and I don’t know how many tall buildings are really on the way.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.