• Gotta love the after school special music playing in the background!

• forkin' a'. I even went through the trouble of adding p-tags to my comment so the individual points would be easy to read and it wouldn't appear like one big blob of text.... and it still appeared like one big blog of text. <br /><br /> *kicks stupid comment code interpreter thingy*

• <p>I watched the entire thing (all segments) and was quite impressed that he managed to succinctly point out the numerous problems without coming across as a whiny fanboy. Most such reviews fall into that trap and end up alienating the average viewer of the Star Wars films. By continually referencing basic practices and backing up his complaints with actual evidence (via comparison or film theory) he did a lot to demonstrate that the prequels truly were terrible films, even outside of the Star Wars universe. </p> <p>I could've done without some of the "I'm so crazy" personal interludes, as they grew tiresome and seemed forced. But that made up only about 2% of the entire review. ;)</p> <p>BTW, did anyone else keep flashing back to the second season of Spaced the whole time? -- <b>"Jar-Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like fucking Shaft."</b></p> <p>Back to the post -- <br /> in fairness to the prequels, I will say that most of the same problems were also present in the originals. They were just dialed down to such a degree that the first films came across as charming instead. For example, the acting in the originals was often wooden (due to the direction) and the characters were 2-dimensional (due to the writing). </p> <p>I mean, even though when you lay it out technically Princess Leia was interesting -- she's smart, in charge, doing some daring things, passionate about the rebel movement, willing to take risks, not afraid to get her hands dirty, stands up to Vader without sniveling --- yet all I took away of the character is that she wore a blinding amount of lipgloss and sat around needing to be rescued. </p> <p>Leia was a pivotal character, yet she had all the resonance and interest of styrofoam packing peanuts (unless you're male, then add the gold bikini). Fast forward a few decades and you have Queen Amidala, who is the magnification of that very problem. As Stephen Colbert would say, "a manila envelope taped to a beige wall."</p>

• two memories about the prequels: Remember when the Sound track music list was announced and there were spoiler alerts on places like AICN because one track name alluded to Qui Gon's death scene (which we didn't know about because the movie's hadn't come out before Lucas decided to reveal to everyone that a major character was going to die)? Everyone was bummed because Qui Gon was going to be another legendary character like Obi-Wan from IV. That was before the movie. Now people have trouble remembering who he was. Oh, and remember back when Ep II was being made and Lucas was planning on including some boy band (was it Nsync or Back street boys?) in one scene as some kind of troops? I wonder if I can find some reference for that. Ah, here's my proof: http://tinyurl.com/ycm8prb

• The heresy in the comments is most disturbing. Just a little reminder to the haters... Star Wars remains the most successful entertainment franchise of all time and the prequels only expanded the series recognition and popularity. The only thing that has changed over the years have been the fans. We have become old, bitter, pissed-off cynics.

• It did the basic job, sure, but it didn't do a good job. And I agree with mrm1138. Calling a well-received movie like The Descent shit without any kind of follow-through is basically trolling.

• I loved this review. I watched the whole series and he's ruthlessly brilliant. The archetypal storyline of Star Wars always reminded me of camelot, and re-telling classic stories works. Phantom Menace always puzzled me because I couldn't figure out what the story was. Of course I saw it exactly 1 time, when it came out. I remember we were excited, I stood in line for hours to get a ticket, there were TV crews there and it was like some kind of big event. I wanted to cheer at this movie, I wanted to say that I was there on that day and it was fucking awesome. I came out of the theater and it was quiet. Nobody talked. Nobody cheered. Nobody laughing. The incoming crowd searched our faces for some indication of how the movie was, but I could only shake my head. There were some quiet mutterings of explosions and the pod race. As I sat in the car on the way back from theater with my friends I remember going over the movie in my mind thinking that no, it couldn't really suck that bad. Did I miss something? It was STAR FUCKING WARS for christ sake. But it did suck, and of course that's old news but man did I feel cheated. The videographer shows how this slipshod mess came together. I loved his analysis of the behind the scenes finger pointing. I laughed my ass off!

• Man that guy is SO full of crap. It's time to move on, it has been that time for the last ten years!

• It's so hated because it's such a bitter disappointment to people who loved the first trilogy. There are plenty of movies that suck worse, but when you have that much hype and expectation built into a franchise, failing to deliver a good film is unforgivable in the mind of the fanbase.

• I absolutely loved this. I saw TPM at 2:00 am at Mann's Chinese the week before the general release. I was excited. People were dressed up. We cheered when we saw r2. But it sucked and I fell asleep. The thing is, I really never knew exactly why it sucked. Now I know. And I now realize why I couldn't precisely explain why it sucked for ten years. It sucked in so many, many ways that it's disorienting. It was simply so overwhelmingly terrible that it was impossible describe. So it's nice to have its suckiness explained so clearly and rationally, even by a pretend serial killer. Here's an idea for the next contest: In honour of a decade since TPM's release describe the first time you saw TPM and how it made you feel.

• He's Liam Neeson. That's all I got.

• The absolute worst part of the prequels was that they directly led to the confidence to make "Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". Lucas figured he could do anything he wanted as long as there were special effects, and by then he had quite a bit of experience with spaceships. He has single-handedly ruined two great trilogies.

• You really think Qui-Gon was a vivid character? Honestly I forgot the guy even existed until this reminded me. I have much more vivid memories of the jewish stereotype running the parts store, and I don't even remember his name! My chief memories of the prequels were of Jar Jar and Queen Amidala having incredibly awkward romantic scenes that were full of the wrong kind of wood. The prequels were a gross failure in every sense but the monetary one. They are already essentially forgotten by the public, at least in any positive way. When a prequel gets mentioned, you are probably at most two steps away from Battlefield Earth or Waterworld references. The nerds need to decamp from Lucas's balls and step back. The prequels were terrible storytelling, terrible acting, and great special effects. While as nerds you probably feel some group-loyalty that forces you to try to defend anything with the Star Wars logo on it, "my country right or wrong" is false patriotism. The proper thing to do is admit it sucked nuts and make it clear that you will not tolerate nut sucking in the future. But instead you try to pretend Qui-Gon was a half decent character instead of a gas bag.

• Woah woah woah! The Descent??? Just as I was thinking about how I agreed with you, you had to go and do something silly like refer to The Decent as "shit." Are you sure you're not confusing it with The Cave?

• I remember that well, and I wondered for the life of me why it was left in the movie. Was that the only take Lucas did of that shot?

• Yes, listen to him during the interviews.

• You know he's adopting a persona for comedic effect, right?

• I agree. I liked the movie, I liked II and III as well. III is probably my favorite of all of them with a close tie maybe being Empire Strikes Back.

• If you can't describe Qui Gon then you must not have even watched the movie.

• His voice is a joke, right?

• I didn't love TPM, but I don't have the seething "OMGGEORGELUCASARRRG!" hate that some people seem to think is in vogue, either. It was a fair space opera with a lot of slow moments and a good climax. It did the basic job of introducing an entire era, the characters, and the political situation. The next two movies wouldn't make as much sense without it, and so it's a necessary prologue to the bigger story. - I just don't get the hate for it. It's not anywhere near as bad as shit like "The Decent" or "The Haunting in Connecticut" or a few dozen other movies in the last decade, but it gets way more grief than anything else. Hell, more people bitch about TPM than they do about "Catwoman", and "Catwoman" was shit in a flaming paper bag.

• Wait, did he called Ewan Mcgregor a "Ewan Mcdonald"? Really?

• This is my favorite bit: "The two most effective, clear minded logical guys stay on the ship and wait. While the clumsy idiot, the slow moving droid, a vulnerable attractive young woman, and a drunk go wandering around a dangerous city." I liked all the serial killer bits, historical inaccuracies, and misnaming of actors/characters. It was a nice break up of your run of the mill complaint fest. The James Gumb voice with a hint of Kevin from The Office cracks me up as well.

• Unfortunately, while these reviews are fun to read and listen to (and probably fun to make), they probably won't influence Lucas one bit. 1) He's already stated that the bazillions of dollars TPM brought in prove the movie was a "success". 2) By now, he's practically surrounded by "yes men" who would rather work at ILM than tell Lucas "no". I've read plenty of interviews about ILM techs who say the original Star Wars inspired them to get into the business. So will any of them really ask Lucas a critical question? Instead, they'll gladly make something like Jar Jar or a 20-minute pod race scene. Does anyone ask if the cool effects advance the story or deepen the characters? Who cares? It looks really cool! And really cool effects will bring in gazillions of dollars: for proof, see the box office receipts for Episode II, Episode III, Transformers 2, and so on.

• Attack of the Clones is still, by far, the worst movie of the new trilogy. This one had its silly kid-side story and introduced us to Jar Jar Binks... but the second movie had a jumbled mess of story lines, some of the worst dialogue I've ever listened to (and definitely the worst romantic dialogue I've heard anywhere ever), and the most pathetically incapable Obi-wan Kenobi.

• I saw that a few days ago from a link on the Avatar IMDB forums. Its the single greatest thing i've ever seen. I immediately became a fan. His Star Trek movie reviews are funny too. Not on the same calibur as that one, but still great nonetheless.

• Wizard.

• Oh no it will make more money then Uncle Scrooge, but there will still be nerd suicide parties.

• That was funny, but dear god did he spend way too much time on some things. Most of part 2, and all of 3 and 4 were just dragging. And the constant "I'm a serial killer" jokes were just distracting from the review at hand, although I got the impression that was on purpose, relating to distracting subplots in the film. But they were getting obnoxious. Someone needs to edit that down to a reasonable length. god dammit, that was an allusion to Lucas as well, wasn't it.

• I'm a younger bitter nerd, but one who's not much of a star wars fan. I've seen the original movies twice. One time without, and one time with a rifftrack. I've seen each of the prequels at least twice and once again with a rifftrack. God help me, I've seen phantom menace at least four times total. And even with all that, I'm still at as much of a loss as the people in that film when it comes to describing the PM characters.

• oh c'mon. Lucas knows if he meets the poop joke/ film time ratio, 8 year old boys are gonna pay the box office another $400 million a pop.

• He's making a very valid point that the characters from the original films had something that the new ones didn't. Even the advertising guys new that; whenever the advertising blitz for the latest prequel started, it was all Chewbacca and Yoda and characters from the old series, never anyone new. The only character that stuck in anyones mind was Jar Jar Binks, and not for the right reason.

• I don't know what you're talking about, I didn't see anything like that happen in the basement.

• Mass suicide I assume

• soooo what's gonna happen when Lucas remakes episodes 4 - 6 and adds Jar Jar to the plots?

• We need to petition this guy to do a review about Transformers: RotF!

• I've never hated TPM, I was just always disappointed. I wasted waaaay too much time arguing about the film with fanboys who seriously thought it was "the greatest film of all time." Weeks after it was released when it was raking in huge globs of money I'd tell people it wasn't going to age well but they were just blinded by the hype. The movie's is now basically a punchline. Sad.

• I loved the end shot of Lucas explaining the need for plot and not just special effects for the sake of effects. I remember watching the Pod race and thinking, "hey, this is like one of those futuristic racing games." Sure enough, weeks later I saw a Pod racing video game. So anyone who grew up loving the first three films, either loved the nifty fight scenes with an increasing number of light sabers (remember one is cool, wielding lots is better) or you recognized that it was all about selling video games and toys, and certainly not about telling of a hart warming story of an unlikable slave boy's descents into evil. I did not enjoy the side jokes about murdering prostitutes in basements. It was unfunny and unenjoyable; in the way violence against women, basement torture, scenes that sell lame robots are popular in films today.

• Yeah. I thought that was hilarious. And, I'm pretty sure that fanfic has been written. Rule 34 and all. As a more "casual" Star Wars fan who hasn't heard all the specific, wanky reasons why TPM sucks (besides DIAF JAR JAR) I really enjoyed the review. And @ McRowan: Because I'm not a bitter old nerd I've seen the prequels about as equally as the original trilogy. I think the "Describe the character" exercise was a valid (and hilarious) criticism. I could fairly easily describe the character of Leia, but ask me to describe Anakin's character and I'd be at a loss except for a couple negative aspects (whiny, dull, annoying). I think it's true that the prequels have characters that are less solid in the minds of fans.

• I think it's pretty obvious he's doing Jame Gumb from <i>Silence of the Lambs</i>. Regardless, it's a brilliant piece of film criticism.

• I agree with most of what is in this first part, although I actually think Qui-Gon Jinn's character could be done in the way that Han and C3PO was done: A mentor figure who was much more of an idealist than would be practical. Something like a hippie professor who couldn't understand why other's thought his theories weren't worth pursuing. But other than that one character... I got nothing.

• Did anyone else notice that when he says the protagonist gets the girl as the icing on the cake, it shows Willy Wonka hugging Charlie? Pedophilia, anyone? Crap, now I've given someone an idea for a fanfic.

• Damn. . . that was awesome!!! I'd totally pay for this as a DVD. I mean, this is like someone's doctorate thesis it's so well thought out. The people have spoken, George Lucas!!!

• ....i do. Why? I have no idea. Maybe cuz I got caught up in the episode one fever at the time? After I wrote that I knew i'd get called out on it. lol see, they dont actually high-5. Wald (little greedo) goes to do it, and that kid rejects it. So wald just does this improv little dance instead, its so awkward and stupid. You gotta see it.

• Being old and bitter I hate TPM as much as anybody else, but to ask other old bitter nerds to describe TPM characters in as much detail as any character from the original trilogy is stupid. How many times have these 'experts' viewed the original films? How many times do you think they've watched the new trilogy? I willing to bet there's a large discrepancy.

• EPIC! "What is WRONG with your FACE?" Part 3 from 3:43 - 4:08 made me LOL so goddamn hard I almost got fired.

• "discribe queen amidalla" "thats fucking impossible!" i shit myself a little when he said that.

• he left no ground that has not been touched yet for the phantom menace showed that Lucas was using the old throw anything to the wall and see if it sticks and love Jar Jar being a cartoon Rabbit when jar jar was a cartoon of star wars ideas that need never be used. he should go after the rest of the second triology

• You know the names of people who high-five at the pod race? *slowly backs away* (just kidding - meant in good fun)

• amazing

• TPM sucks. Seriously. Im suprised he didnt mention the rejected high-5 between kister and wald at the pod race. That drove me crazy. aside from that, this guys review is dead on. I hope he does more, this and his others are hysterical.

• Well the important part is that he did not reinforce any stereotype on who are the people that bitch about the prequels 10 years after the fact. Also I am glad he didn't use the phrase most boringist, and then advise me that he is going to prove how fucking stupid I am. Not defending TPM but guys like that's opinion of the movie I can't take seriously because they would hate it, even if it came with a complementary blow job from a Carrie Fisher Clone (aged 19) decked out in a slave Leia bikini.

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