Thouth shall not imply that Jar Jar Fucking Binks is anything short of a fucking abomination.

All gamer nerds must have played the original Super Mario Bros. before the age of 5. And, it must be done on an NES, with an actual cartridge.

Thou shall not say Jar Jar Binks is anything short of a bastarding abomi-fucking-nation.

Thous shalt be required to debate, sometimes obnoxiously, who would win in a fight: Nerd Property A vs. Nerd Property B (Star Wars vs. Star Trek, Aliens vs. Predator, WOW Mountain Dew vs. Red Bull, etc., could all work with divine law).

You shall install onto your children that previous versions of D&D can still be played, they dont vanish once the new ones come out.

Thou shalt not quote Monty Python unless thou is IN Monty Python.

PS3 hath nay gameth

fans of certain genres like transformers or gijoe or star wars shall not once the franchise have run their courses or are revised for a new generation be upset or by punishment have to give up their love and stuff for the franchises.

Thou must own a toy lightsaber, and thou must have used it in at least 3 fake duels with another nerd. This is something a nerd of any age, or gender must do before he or she dies.

Always assume everyone is intimately familiar with your nerd passion. Further assume that every not as passionate as you about the subject simply does not understand it's subtleties. Mock those people.

All nerds must own a collection of non-sports-related trading cards. Such cards may include but are not limited to: Pokemon, Magic the Gathering, Star Wars, etc.

Rob, can I add an amendment to your first law by saying, in the spirit of Nerd Peace all parents and guardians must encourage their children to "reach across the nerd aisle" as it were and experience both Star Trek and Star Wars, thereby exposing them early to both sides of the Great Nerd Debate and allowing them not only to make the decision for themselves of which is better *coughStarTrekcough* but also to ensure they understand the influence these two sci-fi heavyweights have on the entertainment/nerd world as we know it today.

Thou shalt respect the nerdy properties of thy youngers (GI-Joe/Transformers loving Children of the 80's shalt non condemn the 90's love of Pokemon) but the youngers shall defer to the nostalgia of the elders (Beastwars is NOT better than G1). Thou shalt not break these laws, under pain of being forced to really watch your beloved child-hood nostalgia (Wouldst thou really watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles today? Thine eyes would burn from the suckage. Remain true to your muddled childhood memories).

And, lo, did the the God of nerds descend upon and me impart unto me this law. Thou shalt not arbitrarily and radically revamp the costumes/personalities of comic characters in lue of storyline improvements and pass them off as valid creative overhauls, and great wailing and gnashing of teeth shall come to thee who forsake the true God in the name of the false idol of extraneous pouches. And all who stray from the path of righeousness shall be known, as they will be made adorn themselves with the replicated fruits of their perverse designs.

By your teenage years, thou must have formed an opinion on which star trek captain/commander is the best. Thou must not compromise and be willing to back up thine opinion with righteous violence.

Thou must always honor the first science fiction novel, Frankenstein. For it was the first to lay down the concept that drives all science fiction; that science can do the unthinkable. (Also it gave Mel Brooks some excellent source material.)

If thou are cut from the cloth of the nerd tribe and have managed to breed, thou must at least once try to convince your significant other to name the child after a character of nerdy importance. Bringeth into the world the Lando's, the Anakin's, the Kal-Els. Even if you fail (which you will) it is your task to at least try.

All nerds must be able to sketch, from memory, the basic outlines of the Millennium Falcon, USS Enterprise (NCC-1701), and TARDIS.

My children thou shalt have to earn a chance to play modern video games. To gain respect and awe over the graphical brilliance of modern games thine teeth must be sharpened on a progression of systems from Atari MMDC to the current blessing bestowed to us by Microsoft.

Thou shalt have thy virginity, or membership revoked

Rule number 1.
Thou shall not cross the beams.

All nerds must immediately and in the most condescendingly way possible correct someone when they confuse Star Wars and Star Trek. Bonus points if you can then insult them in klingon or wookie.

Thou shalt read the Lord of the Rings to thy children before bed each night, once they turn 7.

To fail this means thy children shall forever after read only cheap paperback romances and guides to the Da Vinci Code.

Thou shalt not cross the streams. If thou doth cross the streams, all life as thou knowst it shall halt immediately and every molecule in thine body shall explode at the speed of light.

I think that writers for nerd blogs (or any blogs for that matter) should not be allowed end a sentence with the word "natch." It makes you sound like a twelve year old girl, Rob.

You've, at least once in your life, had to quell an upsurge of righteous nerd-rage when someone interrupts your discourse on the merits of Star Trek with, "Oh, I don't know anything about Star Wars." (or vice versa).

And then you MUST spend the next thirty minutes lecturing that person about the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars and why one is infinitely superior to the other.

When asked "Who ya gonna call?", failure to issue the correct response will be immediately punishable by stoning.

Addendum: All nerds need to start carrying stones.

Thou must prove thine love by bitching endlessly about thy favorite nerd property.

It's not law at present, but nerds seem to follow it so religiously anyway that it ought to be written just for posterity's sake. Because no one picks a movie, tv show, etc apart for every little continuity error (there's 2 more items on Obiwan's table than there was a second ago!) and every "wtf" moment of complete retardedness (So if they could blow that other ship up with their phasers all along, why didn't they just do it in the first place??) like those who claim to love them most.

Nerds who have attracted women far beyond their league shall be wise not to openly smirk at the beleagured jock's confusion by this phenomenon, but shall instead be sustained by internal glee at his rival's suffering.

Thou shalt not be a n00b. N00bs shall pretend not to be n00bs by quietly hanging back in the dark corners of the internet and listening to the wise discourse of their elders and superiors until such day they may ape similar behavior and knowledge in a believable manner, upon pain of ostracism, mockery, and internet murder.

All nerd parents are required to ensure that their children's first words be something of sufficient nerdiness (such has "Saving Throw!" or "Large Hadron Collider" or "Live Long and Prosper").

Nerds shall not be untrue to themselves. A nerd who denies himself will be subject to public evidence of nerd tendencies by his fellow nerds.

This said, the nerd shall also do well to remove that part of the soul which feels conscious shame.

Thou shalt not question who shot first. To do so will result in having thine face remastered with a beating by a toy lightsaber.

You will know that your nerd progeny have crossed into adulthood when they have bested you in a "superhero versus" debate.

Internet Nerd Law - If you post something on an internet forum, it must be inherently negative. The punishment for posting something that promotes positivity or harmony is......well head over to an internet forum and see what happens if you do....

The Law of Childhood Infallibility (a.k.a. The Law of Initial Exposure)
- The pinnacle of any property is the form it took during the observer's childhood
- Any attempt to adapt a property from its original form will yield a product inferior to is source material
- Any present and future properties of the same type/genre as those in the observer's childhood are both inferior to and indebted to the properties from said observer's childhood
- Any dissent from the above statements can only come from the offensively ignorant and should be met with scorn and condescension
- Get off my lawn, you damn kids

you must own (or have owned) at least 1 Commodore 64 system (bonus points if it included a tape drive and any disk drive, double bonus points if it included a Commodore monitor)

Darth Vader > Anakin Skywalker

Any scene in a Science Fiction or Fantasy movie that features a female characters nipples, either directly or through cloth/latex/armor etc. must be addressed by all male nerds present as "the best scene EVER!".
Failure to do so is punishable by being labeled a "homo".

Attempt not to photoshop thy face to resemble a Na'vi, for thy punishment shall be to be forced to listen to "I See You" by Leona Lewis for the rest of eternity.

If thou manage to complete this travesty and escape nerdly punishment long enough to publish your photoshopped Smurfycat on the Internet, each of thy limbs shall be tied to a wild Ikran. The Ikran shall be trying to fly in completely different directions; and while this is going thou wilt be, thou guessed it, being forced to listen to "I See You". Mixed with the nightmare-baby's cries of "Mama" from "Junior". There will be video, too.

SO WATCH THYSELF.

If thou discusses marriage plans with thine lover, thou must attempt to convince him/her that it would be a good idea to haveth a nerd-song played at thine wedding. If thou ist successful, or if thou ist unsuccessful in the debate but the marriage stilleth happens, bonus points in the (four)eyes of the Law.

It will be understood that Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan has been and always shall be the best Trek film in existence. Failure to understand shall result in being forced to watch nothing but Star Trek V: The Final Frontier for the rest of one's natural life.

In any kind of 'Who would win in a fight between....' debate, thou shalt adknowledge that Batman beats everyone, ever, anywhere at fighting. Failure to comprehend this rule will result in a personal ass-kicking from Batman.

That's right, he beats everybody. Even Optimus Prime, you ask? Even Optimus Prime. Even Darth Vader? Even Darth Vader. Even.... CHUCK NORRIS?????

What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? He'd find a way. He's the goddamn Batman.

No Nerd shall speak ill of Wonks, Geeks and girls who prefers unicorns to horses, since we are all of the same line. But if one, be that stranger or brother, say "lets go see college football, giro d'italia, Man united vs Ipswish, sports for sake of sports", slay him as a mad dog, sell his wife and children as slaves and burn his house and possessions in a sacrificial pyre in honour of our benevolent Nerd Gods.

So say we all.

Book of Geekteronomy

Must insert the phrase "There can be only one" into any combative/argument situation.

Nerd Law #1: Brawn is fleeting, brains (and unopened collectables in their original packaging) are eternal
This is why nerds will inherit the Earth

Thou shalt teach thy children how to survive the zombie apocalypse

Since I'm primarliy an anime nerd, I'll say that my future kids MUST watch all Japanese cartoons (as well as American dito) in their original language, with subtitles.

No, I don't care if they can't read them, I guess they'll just have to learn the language like I learned English from watching The Children's Channel while I was a kid.

Yes, I learned the language when I was a kid by LISTENING to it day in and day out (I watched alot of TV), there was no teacher, just me and the television.
Thanks to that, I pretty much surfed through the English classes in school with little to no effort, and I don't have much of a noticble dialect thanks to it. It's quite literally a second language to me, and I even prefer to read english books in their original language, to get the real "feeling" from the book, since translations always are lacking in that department.

So yeah, that will be a rule in my house;
Thou shalt watch GI JOE, Transformers G1, Galaxy High, Bucky O'Hare, Jayce & The Wheeled Wariors, Dino Riders, Ulysses, C.O.P.S. and all the other shows in their original language, as well as Naruto, Bleach and other animes for kids in Japanese. That's how I was raised.

You will thank me when you're a tri-lingual adult, son.

The lives of Bill and Lance are one-score and ten; and if by reason of strength they have three continues, yet Contra is their strength of labor and sorrow; for it is soon blown up, and the dreaded Red Falcon fly away.

Should a nerd reach a situation in which a disrobed madien lays willing within their lodgings, said nerd must roll a D20 on the maidens breasts. Assuming the maiden remains in position, pursue intercourse on a roll of 14 or higher (+1 one modifier if you've equiped your latex sheath).

All nerds over the age of 13 must either:
A) have their childhood raped and beaten / be scarred by the internet or
B) participate in raping and beating other nerd childhoods / scar others, using the internet; however, in the process of doing so you must also rape and beat your childhood or scar yourself as well.
B-1) In the case of fan fiction you must remain grammatically correct or have your geek/nerd license revoked permanently.

C) "the out alternative" you must play monopoly daily with a total of four people, including yourself. You also must get the go to jail card at least thrice a week in legitimate games. You may not imbalance the game in any way to assure this. If you fail this, you must defer to option A and read/watch/look at things for approximately one hour that will fulfill option 'A'.

Consequentially, most of us will be safe from this one because of FFF.

Thou shalt always... no, no... never... forget to... check your references.

I think the young people like it when I "Get Down" verbally, don't you?

Before playing any of the newer systems, children should be required to play the classics systems first. For example: NES/SNES, Gameboy/Pocket/Color, N64/Playstation.

After they've come to appreciate the classics, then they can work their way up to the better systems and appreciate them that much more.

Any item, be it common household appliance, sports equipment, dining utensil, vehicle, et. al., even remotely resembling something found in nerddom (spaceship, Batarang, Lightsaber, etc.) shall henceforth be treated as such, and always accompanied by appropriate sound effects.

Thou shalt not forget to honor and thank the Dice Gods for your triumphs and victories, lest thou shalt incur the wrath of bad luck!

And lo, it was made known to all the world that the highest calling of any nerd is to gently guide the uninitiated toward the path of enlightenment, thus strengthening the ranks of all nerd kind. And though they may encounter resistance, the true nerd knoweth in their heart that once enlightened, the new nerd shall not yearn for their former life, in which they were ignorant of all that is awesome and good. The enlightened nerd shall rejoice in their personal discoveries of the teachings of St. Bruce of Evil Dead, St. Leonard of Star Trek, and all others who bask in the light of nerdiness. And it shall come to pass that when all the world has united in nerd-dom, wars will not be fought over trivial things like religion and politics, but rather important matters like the superiority of Batman vs. Superman, or Star Wars vs. Star Trek.

Also, kneel before Zod!

Nerd Law: In space, a towel is your best friend.

DanPryce wins hands down.

but here's my entry anyway:

thou shalt not post your erotic fan fiction starring carebears, harry potter, pokemon, tomb raider, or any other commercial property that falls under any definition of the word "popular", be it of the self-insert variety or otherwise, on the internet. This law shall apply doubly so if said fan fiction includes coprophilia, dendrophilia, pedophilia, amputees, disfigurement, snuff, or any other fetish or act that would give satan himself nightmares. this law shall apply in triple strength if said fan fiction includes the phrase "fondled the babies ass" or any variations thereof.

Wars or trek.

Pick a side were at war1

I am Bruce Campbell, Actor of Ash, Player of Brisco County, Jr., and Star of Bubba Ho-Tep and thou shalt have no gods before me.

If two nerds ever find themselves in any social occurrance where both nerds are holding cylindricle objects of about 9 inches in length (e.g. flashlights, penis' exempt) they m,ust imediately make lightsaber ignition noises and faces each other down in mortal combat until such a time that the respective wives pull them away from the home maintenance department.

Thou shalt know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek under pain of lose of nerd cred.

"Upon the purchase of a statuette, bust, or other non-action figure 3 dimensional depiction of a fictional female, one rescinds their right to ridicule another person's nerd purchases unless said person has spent $4,000 on a single purchase, or $10,000 collectively on nerd purchases."

So if you purchased that statuette of Mary Jane washing Spider-Man's costume, you can't talk smack about someone who bought a replica phaser, but you can talk smack about someone who bought the original costume of Phantom Menace's "Baby Greedo" at an auction.

By the age of 15 you must never back down on your argument as to why (movie, game, show)A is better than (movie, game, show)B, no matter how ridicilous it may seem to anyone else.

Thou shall not covet thine neighbors Wookie. Plenty of Chewies to go around folks!

A nerd may not injure a nerd or, through inaction, allow a nerd to come to harm . . . unless there is a really massive bully involved.

On must keep an action figure collection sufficiently out of reach for small hands, but well within plain sight, conditioning the child to understand that the ownership of an entire plastic universe is A) perfectly normal and healthy B)does not go in your mouth, Blu-ray, toaster, garbage disposal, freezer, or require the addition of cheerios or peanut butter, and C) aside from not pulling out soon enough the one thing daddy regrets is selling his Superpowers collection at a garage sale when he was 12 so he could buy POGS. POGS?! SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME?!

You will be impressed by anyone else's collection of anything, no matter how ridiculous.

The best Star Wars is the middle movie.
Of the first trilogy.

Nerd Law. All nerds must know what the number 42 represents. They must also have 3 memorable quotes that can be used while insulting someone. Failure to do so will have Rob at your house, tie you to a chair, pull your eyelids open, and make you memorize every single FFF on here. If you are not turned into a blubbering vegetable by the end of that, we will brand "WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS" on your ass, and let you free. You will be exiled from all nerd guilds and be forced to live in a remote island in the middle of nowhere.

Well, since I'm the one WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS, I suppose I damn well better provide an entry. However, since I think Bill Binder already has this won, I'll just cover the one that got us here:

All Slave Leia pictures, articles, pictures, merchandise, pictures, and any and all other Slave Leia-related items shall be reported to the nerd community posthaste.

But especially pictures.

Failure to do so will require the offender to give Jabba the Hut a head-to-tail tongue bath (and make sure you get between all those folds). Salacious Crumb is not allowed to assist (but he IS allowed to laugh at you derisively).

Darth Vader was born a grown Cyborg with Asthma. Whoever disagrees shall be tarred, Glittered and Having a Rob Pattinson mask glued to his/her head before being tossed in a room full of Twitards.

Rule #1 of Nerd Law:

Thou shalt not talk about Nerd Law.

Actual entry: all disagreements shall be ended by awarding the victory to the first arguer to shout "I am a MAN!" and punch their adversary in the guts.

Credit to Linkara.

Thou shalt celebrate the sabbath (Wednesday)and keep it holy.

Any nerd, when in possession of a long staff or staff-like object, shall slam said staff on the ground, while informing an invisible Balrog that it SHALL NOT PASS!

Nerd Law 101: It is OK to have sex with 'hoes' since you don't really love them. (tequilla helps)

Yea, whensoever one man (or woman) shouldst say—whether of his fellow or some base article—that he (or it) be "more than meets the eye," then shall those within its hearing duly respond that the referent is, in truth, a “robot in disguise.” In like fashion, shouldst a man proclaim to his fellow, “Now you know,” then shall both proclaim in exalted unison, “And knowing is half the battle!” Let he who should offend against this law be cast out from the company of his worthier fellows and be made subject to aspersions made ‘gainst his improper rearing and the cuckolding whore that did sire him and perform the rearing. So it is written.

In nomine Patris et fillii et Spiritus Sancti

If a party is involved in a conversation about Star Wars, and an individual should make a joke referencing Spaceballs, the other members of the group (as well as total strangers who just happen to be wandering by but know injustice when they see it) are hereby fully released from fault if they want to smack said individual in the face with a shovel covered in burning tar.

COROLLARY: If the "joke" is "I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!", the offender may be slapped in the stomach with a truck.

There are no girls on the internet.

The Star Wars Holiday special will only be spoken of in whispers, and never around non-nerds.

Here is wisdom. Let ye that have understanding know the title of The Beast, and that title is "Editor in Chief."

Thou shalt not modify a classic nerd movie to "update" the technology for any reason.

All nerds must be able to recite the entire star wars script verbatim. Failure to do so will make you bantha fodder.

An FPS shall only be played with a keyboard and mouse, and only by keyboard and mouse shall an FPS be played.

Ach! And one more...if not a law, then a proverb. "Always defend the furries——because they won't go after the nerds until the furries have been destroyed."

Thou shalt not ever deny a fellow nerd, even if he hails you dressed as Mr. Spock and you are trying to entertain the attentions of a fair lady. That denies what is yourself.

i hate sc-fi so im proble never going to do nerd law one

Just because thou playeth World of Warcraft, this does not automatically mean one is a nerd, nor computer geek.

Thou shalt reserve no less than twenty and five per cent of your capacity for remembrance for useless trivia about nerd icons of thine choosing. For 'tis in the recounting of these details that your nerdiness is truly shown.

THOU SHALT BE WARY OF ADVERTISEMENTS FOR THEY MAY LEAD YE ASTRAY FROM THY SACRED NERDIC BELIEF. THE CHILD SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO TRUST IN THE BLOGGER, THE INDIVIDUAL VOICES AMONGST THE UNORGANISED NERDIC MASSES FROM WHICH THE TRUTH IS SPOUTED! ONLY THEN SHALL THEY BE INFORMED! ONLY THEN SHALL THEY HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE TO WALK WITH CONFIDENCE INTO THE WORLD! ONLY THEN SHALL THEY BE FREE!

When being chased by Reavers, one should always be aware that:
1) Faster is always better.
2) It would always be nice to have some grenades.
3) River swallowed a bug.

Nerd Law:
Stop making shitty movies into a lifestyle.

I'm tired of Twilight, Avatar, and any other shitty movies becoming some retard's way of existence. I hate having to hear about who is better Josh or Eric or about life on Pandora being better than Earth because the furry cat people are one with nature...
I'm tired of dumbasses drinking tomato juice and calling it blood while pretending they're vampires because they saw it on Twilight or read one of those shitty books. I'm tired of people threatening to kill themselves because the blue furry cat people of Avatar can't live in peace because humans want to take over their planet.
And never again will I tune in to watch CNN or any other news station who take something some retard on the internet said seriously. If a bunch of people kill themselves in one massive suicide pact then it's news, not some bullshit said on a chat board!!!

And above all else never, never, never, never, never, never walk out of a movie claiming it changed your life because the "ALIENS" have life all figured out. They figured life out because the writers wrote it that way!!!

When searching for something to watch on television (for purposes of watching or just background noise) you must watch the geek movie you come across. Even if you have said movie in your collection across the room.

Additionally : If anyone asks, "Why don't you just watch the one you own?" Stare at them like an idiot and explain, "That is not the point."

Thou shalt adorn thyself in the garb of at least of Nerd Property.
B.Thou shalt not however adorn thyself in female clothing if thou art obviously male. And overweight.

Nerd Law:

Always have respect for the elder nerds - even though they may not be up on all of the current Nerd trends.
They paved the way by seeing the one and only Star Wars movie (in an actual theater), watching Ultraman, Johnny Socko, Star Blazers and Robotech on TV.

An inability to quote the scenes in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" involving swallows, Black Knights, or the violence inherent in the system shall result in a 3 month suspension of your nerd license. At the end of that time, a committee shall review your circumstances and say Yea or Ni to your request for license reinstatement.

Nerd Law: Mario is always news.

I'm breaking a previously posted Nerd Law, but fuck it:

"Thou shalt seek out all manner of DeLorean DMC-12s, and upon thy finding of such, shalt demand to direct the conveyance to the appropriate speed, which has been determined to be 88mph. The number of the miles driven per hour shall be 88; 88 shall be the number of miles driven per hour. 87 shall only be driven if one is in the process of accelerating to the speed of 88. 89 is right out.

Thou shalt also make absurd offers to purchase thine found DMC-12, whether they be based on sentimental or grossly over-estimated appraisal value shall be left to thou."

No matter how many times a nerd sees 'Sweep the Leg', they must never call is "Old". For it is made of all things we nerds hold dear and should be shown the proper amount of love, respect, and excessive amounts of nerd rage.

Those who fail to follow this rule shall be met by the following punishments:

1) Their leg shall be swept.

2) Their face shall meet with a crane kick. To said face.

Hope this one isn't taken...

"Thou shall except Joss Whedon into your heart as Lord and Savior!"

So let it be written. !

So let it be done!

while it is acceptable to forget the periods when typing R.P.G. a nerd must never forget that it is an acronym of the most sacred of nerd rituals.

also the true believers must never forget that amending the sacred ritual with words such as "mmo" "action" "adventure" or "FPS" does in fact lesson it!

When one has accepted their nerddom they must then embark on the choosing.

The choosing shalt include, but not be limited to the following examples:

1)Star Wars vs Star Trek
2)Marvel vs DC
3)Console A vs Console B
4)Beatles vs Elvis

This law is two fold; to establish one's direction in life and it's philosophies, and to ensure they do not go bankrupt in their pursuit of the geek lifestyle of "completists" of which one may find themselves in at one or many points in their life.

Failure to comply shalt be punishable by;

(I)Living a fairly balanced life devoid of excitement of set pictures or casting leaks. (II)No joy from console or game title sales figures or technical specs leaks.
(III)A feeling of indiference when discussing or encountering a discussion on super heroes or the possibility/plausability of super powers.
(IV)The inability to state "Your favorite band sucks" without detailed factual evidence that does not cater or compare to another musician.
(V)Resignation of nerd cred and acknowledgement that you will rely on nerds at some point in your new life.

A feeling of being intellectually inferior to those well versed in their side is common and can be treated by following said law.

kung-fu movies count toward nerd cred.

Han shot first.

Okay, we need a re-sort of the research budget.

$500 million bombs we'll never drop? Naah.

Biofuels which just make some jerk riding around in a '73 Mercedes diesel feel cocky? Sorry.

Real Life Dragons? Bingo!

Thou shalt not use nerd in a derogatory mannerism whilst perusing a nerdy site, or else Cthulhu shall be cast forth and thou shalt know horrors greater than that of a thousand evils!

I see this happen all the time on Digg, not the Cthulhu part unfortunately.

Also know who Cthulhu is, or else he'll... well you get the point

Thou shalt know thy internet memes and standard video game/movie/comic book trivia.

Thou cannot claim to be a DC fan unless capable of reciting the Green Lantern oath flawlessly.

Rule 178.1: In the caste system of nerds, fans of Battlefield Earth shall make up the lowest tier.

Thou shalt not claim to be a Spider-Man fan after proclaiming Venom the "best villain evar!"

Thou shalt be so caught up in your never ending discussion of your Worlds of Warcraft Elf character that you will never know the pleasures of the flesh. Except your own.

Law:

Female nerds do not exist. Forsooth, they are rarer than Entwives.

Upon entering a room for the first time in a house/place/location you've never been in (eg when visiting friends, girlfriends or boyfriends for the first time, etc.) you must look around and speak this sentence:
"Nice place you got here...lots of space..."

Me and my nerd friends can't help ourselves with this subtle but totally nerdy reference to the '89 Batman movie.

The Book of Grant, chapter 18, verse 20: When two or more are gathered together, they're moving in herds. THEY DO MOVE IN HERDS.

Thou must have a favorite Ninja Turtle.

By one's mid-teens one must have a preference, and accompanying supportive argument(s), for the following:

Star Trek or Star Wars
Batman or Superman
Slave Leia or Orion Slave Girl(s)
Kirk or Picard
Joker or Lex Luthor
Best & worst ST flick
Best & worst SW flick

Thou shalt recognize nerdery as an art of expressing what you love and what you hate about pop culture in the most obsessive way, whether it is by saying, blogging, quoting, purchasing, re-enacting, enduring, or making fan-artistry of it.

Nerd Law 32-41c: You must be able to calculate THAC0.
As far as a Nerd Sabbath goes, I remember the Sabbath on Tuesday (The day video games and DVDs are released in the US)

A child MUST 1CC Ikaruga before being allowed to play any casual games.

Throughout the land, let it be known:
Bruce Campbell shall be thine hero, and there shall be no hero save Bruce Campbell. And he will vanquish all.

All Trekkies, regardless of series preference, must be able to quote the Rules of Acquisition. If one must ask what these rules are and to which culture they pertain shall be given the Melvaran mud flea vaccine and thus cause their hands to swell and skin to itch.

Thou shall not write fan fiction.

Regardless of how old you are, it's perfectly acceptable to buy Happy Meals, if the toy inside is nerdy enough. Bionicle? Acceptable! Batman figure for three-and-under children? Acceptable! Beanie baby? Not so much. Beanie baby...of Star Trek character! Acceptable again!

Thou must lovest the animals of the earth, as they wilst not judge thee for thinking the impossible thoughts and loving the impossible loves (I'm talking scifi/fantasy and fandom, not pedobestiality here). NEDM justifies their mistreatment.

Thou shalt voice (loudly) thine own opinion of any nerd content at all stages of exposure; before it hast been released, during thine own experience, and after thou hast digested it thoroughly. Whether it be reading, watching or playing.

Thou shalt not LARP. For LARPers are no longer nerds as they have transgressed pure, honest nerdery and defiled it by becoming dweebs.
LARPing shall be punishable by death through stoning using 2 ton boulders that say "Fireball" on them.

The line "and I thought they smelled bad on the outside" must be said on your wedding night. If you get married that is.

1. All Trek is good Trek; that is, any Trek is better than no Trek at all.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of Gene Roddenberry in vain.

Thou shall forget (and from this day forth never recall) that Joss Whedon was ever involved with Alien: Resurrection.

The internet is thy place of worship, nerd laws thine holy text, fictional characters thine deities, nerd arguments thine sacred prayers.

Shall we start a prayer...
Thor > Superman
Dragonball > all other Anime
Star Trek = Star Wars > Babylon 5
Whedon is grossly overrated
SW movies = 6 Indiana Jones = 3
G.I.Joe >Transformers >He-Man >Thundercats
PS2>Gamecube>Dreamcast>XBOX
PS1>N64
SNES>Genesis

Furthermore, thou who starts the console flame war is subject to a system failure (red ring of death; broken fan) for the inability to enjoy gaming for the sheer nerdery that it entitles.

Thou shalt always compare new nerd media to that which has come before, and find it wanting and state that it is 'ripping off' that which has come before.

This is regardless of how good the new media is or how lousy the old media is and we only think it has merit through the view of our nostalgia.

And if anyone shall point out that second part openly, then they shall be shunned...or put into the sun rocket. Whatever works.

Amendment: Should the new media be really really really good like Avatar (The cartoon), Firefly, or something of that ilk, then it will be spared and possibly become a new benchmark.

"No matte how awesome one comic, movie, book, video game, etc is, thou must never be satisfied. Thou must always want more".

When someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!

Thine first crush shalt be upon an cartoon character.

I have always followed the guideline that you never make fun of another nerd, unless their nerdyness combats your own. For example, i was once rock climbing in my Star Wars rebellion t-shirt, and these two guys come down the trail asking for directions. One of them was wearing an empire emblemed t-shirt. i demanded that my group not give them directions. Yelling "They are trying to find Leia", while i was 40 feet up on a wall. I went against the outdoor man's code, but upheld my nerd rule.

Thine nerdly conflicts must be resolved with use of profanity and a game or toy designed for children . . .th

Nerd Law 42, when thou states to other non-nerds that thou readest Literature, thou must explain that that thine texts are the Gods Given books of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, Speculative Fiction, Graphic Novels etc. And if those non-nerds then claim that Sci Fi or Fantasy is not Literature with a Capital L, yea, thou must go to thy Alter and take out Dune and Lord of the Rings, or The Sandman and exhaustively explain that they are wrong. If thou cannot convince them after a period of no less then 3 hours, thou may yell that they do not grok real Literature, hit them upside the head with a copy of the Bible hardcover edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, and then walk away. These are the like the sheep of the earth. They shall never learn, and truly thy are just jealous of thine jetpack.

Corollary to Rule 42, otherwise known as The Ivory Two Towers Rules. Rule 42 is several times over more accurate in the snobby, pompous beliefs in Higher Education. Thou must argue with thy professors, on a daily basis if need be, about Sci Fi and Fantasy as legitimate genres. Thy professors, excepting the blessed few who are not taking seriously within the confines of Academia, will not believe you either. Do not take this to heart. True nerds will write their Final Papers on such nerd topics of their choosing, as obscure or as convoluted as warranted. False nerds will write about Nerd Books as appropriated by Mainstream Literature to the point they are no longer considered Sci Fi or Fantasy, such as 1984, Handmaid's Tale, or Slaughterhouse Five. If thou fails with thy paper, be joyous in knowing that thou has done the greater deed: standing up for thy nerdy brethren and interests.

All nerds rooms should must contain up to 3 posters somewhere in their room as a tribute to their nerd icons, At least 3 shelves and or drawers dedicated purely to their collection of nerdy and or geeky objects. (Large collections of games, anime, movies, comics, models, action figures, little statue things and any combination of these.) Or though shall be declared a closet nerd and feel awkward while trying to break into true nerdery to be with your true brothers to discus the finer points of magic the gathering deck building and star trek/wars, ect ect ect...

Capt'n bob has spoken!

The 'Star Wars' and 'Indiana Jones' series of films are both trilogies and nothing else. 3 prequel movies to the former and a fourth film of the latter were never made, do not exist and shall not be mentioned under any circumstances.

Zortt opened the great book of Nerd Law, flipping through the pages hungrily, he stopped in the fable section and began to read a story of a traveler:

"And from the high mountains of the realm known as internet came a traveler. Not of Gozer or a vagabond, but another traveler. He was a normal man, but one of great size and mainly of gerth. This man was a prophet of Nerd Law, and he went by the name of Bricken. In his hands he carried great tools. In his left hand, a device known as a laptop, which he claimed he had direct contact with all of his people, even if his grammar wasn't exactly correct, and in his right a mighty mug filled with his favorite frosty beverage of the alcohol variety.

Walking through a nearby village, he stumbled upon several children gather around a viewing screen that was called, television."

A child raised his hand, Zortt acknowledged the question. The child asked, "What were they watching?" Zortt replied that if one were following their book of Nerd Law correctly, it was that of something of the science fiction nature or cartoon or something that was witty or funny and would appeal to them greatly, if they followed Nerd Law. However he continued the parable with a sad look on his face.

"Bricken stopped to watch what the children were viewing. On the screen a show, was a wondrous show that appealed to all the aspects and laws contained in the book of Nerd Law. It had vibrant characters and interesting stories. However, a Fox was sitting in wait a few paces behind the television.

Bricken intrigued, turned to a boy near the front, 'Boy, how long has this show been running?'

The boy smiled and said, 'Why, Master Bricken! This show is first run! Would you enjoy it with us?"

Bricken was overjoyed! 'Yes! I shall!' Sitting, Bricken watched the show with the children and found himself entranced with the show.

Three episodes in, a Fox slipped into the crowd and began to count those in the audience. Bricken was puzzled, but ignored the Fox. When Fox was done, it slipped behind the television and pulled the plug.

The children were horrified and Bricken howled at the Fox, 'Fox! Why have thee killed our show?'

The Fox, cackled with laughter, 'This show was creative and slowly gaining an audience. However, not quickly enough. Therefor, I shall replace it with this!' Lights flickered on the television and the creative, interesting, well thought out story that appealed to every aspect of Nerd Law was gone. In its place was a show that only a heathen would like."

Zortt placed great emphasis on the last sentence which sent a shudder through the audience.

"The children ran away to their homes, hiding their televisions from the dreaded Fox. Bricken stayed behind and spoke to the Fox, 'That was a cruel, cruel thing to do Fox. Was not your audience large enough.'

The Fox smiled, 'It was, it was. However, I have decided to go another direction. Another dancing program where people are judged. What are you going to do about it Bricken?'

Bricken, with a determined look on his face said, 'I shall the spread the word of your trickery Fox and if you do those terrible things again, I shall skull fuck you.'

The Fox gritted its teeth and boldly said, 'While I do not like the idea of my skull fucked, spread your words. Warn your people. Yet, I will still lure them in, with my flashy, uncreative videos and situation comedies that are not funny. Write your stories, but they will still come.'

Picking up his mighty laptop he began to write to his people. Posting after posting, he warned his people of the cruelty of the Fox. While the Fox continued to tempt those in the village, they were more weary about the shows the Fox presented.

The Fox's powers grew weaker, but they didn't go away entirely. 'Bricken, you have weakened me, but I can never truly go away.'

Bricken nodded, 'This is true, for there is even a place for you in this book of Nerd Law, and I, only lowly prophet Bricken, can do nothing to defeat you entirely. Even with the threat of skull fucking. It would take the entirety of the following of the Book of Nerd Law. However, I can do this!'

Bricken raised his glass of frosty alcohol and he drank until he had his fill (and then some) and moved on from the village to spread the word from the book of Nerd Law to others. The Fox simply shrugged and slipped away into the night.

From this story, the Nerd Law was written, "Thou shall never fully trust a program presented by Fox, no matter how closely it follows the rules within the book of Nerd Law, for it could go away without warning. Even with the threat of a skull fucking."

A quiet hush went through the crowd as prophet Zortt closed his copy of the Nerd Law and returned to his house in the village.

End

Thou shalt be able to distinguish between Nerds, Geeks and Dorks. For if you cannot, you are no better than the outsiders.

Thou shalt play a Rogue, Paladin, Sorcerer, Cleric, Bard etc. and DM at least once. For everyone must get a turn, GODDAMNIT I AM TIRED OF CRAFTING ADVENTURES FOR YOU UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLES.

Personal fanon is to be considered acceptable when the owners of said property have fucked up royally.

My nerd commandments are as such.
1)Thou shall know thy Doctor.
2)Thou shall respect thy Captain(Kirk, Picard, Janeway, Sisqo or the greatest of the captains, Captain Morgan).
3)Thou shalt forever know that Batman can kick everyone ass.
4)And thou shalt accept the "Buddy Jesus" as
thy lord and savior.

And for those who can not follow the laws their punishment shall be to be tied to a pole in the center of a densely populated town, shunned by their fellow nerds and forever mocked and ridiculed by the Nelson's(yes I threw in a simpsons reference) of their tri-state area. Till they are nothing more than withered shell of their former selves. That is all

All female nerds should have to wear a revealing cosplay outfit for their nerd-boyfriend at least once a year. And, if you're a hot female nerd, you have to wear it to your local Comic-Con to make all your local boy-nerds' dreams come true.

i.e. Olivia Munn supports this law.

Btw, this is coming from a she-geek that loves seeing geeky boys happy ;D

As the Greeks say- "Know thy alignment".

Saving "Good" die rolls for later may be permissible but not always beneficial.

All nerds must be able to do at least 5 convincing nerdy voice-impersonations of character such as Yoda, Chewbacca, Darth Vader, Picard-Borg, Dalek, etc etc. Bonus points if you can do a 'drunk Yoda with hoes, oh yes shack that ass'-impression

When the unstoppable force of Cthulhu's unspeakable horror and cruelty meets the immoveable foundation of perversion upon which Japan is built, the fallout of that collision will reveal whose responsible this.

One more rule, my sister made me post: (she took my precious sonic screwdriver hostage, what's a guy to do)
- All nerd boys shall accept that they do not have a chance with any nerd-girl that does not show an interest in the first. They shall NOT stalk the girl, worship their nerdgirl-dom and try a billion pathetic pick-up lines.
They shall restrain all this behavior in the knowledge that not doing this will make being a nerd girl more fun. This will bring more girls to the nerd community, which will in the long run bring joy to all nerds.
Also, after a break up, they will not try to get said girl out of the Guild she herself started at Guild Wars. That's just sad.

(1) Any nerd lucky enough to reproduce must assure their offspring has seen the following movies by no later than age 10:
Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Ghostbusters, Superman, Superman II, The Matrix.

(2) Furthermore, these same offspring must have seen the following no later than age 13:
All 3 Indiana Jones movies (again, now that they've had 3 years to get over the trauma), the original Night of the Living Dead, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, X-Men, X-Men 2, Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness, and if they're a male offspring, the Star Wars trilogy again, especially Jedi.

(3) If you are not lucky enough to reproduce, but are lucky enough to actually have a girlfriend, all of these movies must be shown to the girl. If she likes all of them and demands more, it is therefore time to reproduce immediately and go back to step 1.

(4) Special addendum for Female Nerds-- If your prospective mate objects to even one of the above titles on your first date, dump him immediately and call me instead.

And yea our Lord, St. Bruce of Boomstick spoke unto us and He said: "Thou shall be obscure. For, if thy brethren know not of what ye quote, then they are not true believers and are unworthy of thine nerdly cred. Thou must bitch and moan thus if thy franchise goes 'mainstream', and thou must spake to the nonbeliever and shun him when he preaches blasphemy, such as the sparkling of the undead"
The Word of the Lord
Praise be to Jebus

a nerd must know all the lines to his/her favorite imaginarium*, indelibly committed to memory.

as the civic duty to this law is the peremptory compulsion to rattle said lines verbatim, fulfilling this law rewards its own punishment; few can sit thru star wars or the princess bride with me without threat of violence.

*any enthralling, fictional world(imagination/aquarium).

Those who swear allegiance to the tribe of nerd must acknowledge this one simple rule: All Your Base Are Belong To Us. Failure to comprehend and adhere to this rule shall be punished by Keanu Reeves being cast as lead actor in film remakes of all beloved nerd properties. He-Man, GI Joe, Transformers, TMNT, all Star Wars and Star Trek films, etc... a fate worse than death.

Woah.

In order to assure procreation of the nerd species, thou shalt not quote Star Wars during sex.

Thou shalt trade every one of his/her Star Wars cards to prove a point. Except Boba Fett. No matter how sure one is, one never risks the Fett man.

Thou shalt bitch, whine, complain and generally hate any new Star Wars additions or any new special effects/re-mastering done to the original trilogy.
However thou must purchase them all anyway out of mindless loyalty and the thought that: "They can't be any worse than the last time..... right?"

All nerdlings should know that the REAL Optimus Prime does not have flames!

There's a lot of nerds trying to be funny in these posts.

Thou shall always recognise that the book/comic is better in its original form. If thou recognises the movie as the best version, thou ist punished via stoning with the original work in hardcover. If a heathen mentions that they prefer the movie form, thou is obligated to explain, in detail, the scenes left out in the movie, or how the movie hast 'liberally raped the source material'. If the heathen hast chosen not to listen, thou must shake their heads in disgust.

And so it is written, that thou shalt not deny thy seed, nor thyself be denied at tender age, the divine right of cartoon communion in the dawning hours of the seventh day. For it is in the partaking of this hallowed sacrament that the child, soft of step and newly estranged from the breast, shall come to know the spirit of nerdity and keep it. And let it be known throughout your ranks and multitudes that all those who by malicious design would plot and conspire to deny thy seed this communion shall be cast away in winter climes and kept in the foul embrace and naked bosoms of portly savage men stained with the profane emblems of thee who worship falsely at the altar of the flying swine and the beastly giants of the painted plains. Amen.

A Nerd must be able to recite at least one movie, word for word, in the following genres in its entirety. In lieu of being able to recite, then you must know every aspect of the film from who the gaffer was to how much it made in VHS sales. Those Genres are:

1- Sci-Fi
2- Fantasy
3- Horror
4- Comedy
5- 80s Action Film

Thou shalt have tried to use key combos in real life.

Thou shalt have been frustrated when it didn't work.

Support your local game/comic/anime shop and keep holy the new merchandise day.

Holy theology lesson, Batman! What's with all the Old Testament jargon going on in this thread? All the "thou shalt"'s and "thee"'s and "thy"'s and b.c./Renaissance era descriptions of things and people is making my head spin. You guy's do know that laws exist in non-biblical contexts right? Secular Laws, Scientific Laws, Laws of Nature, etc. But oh well, at least I have an opportunity to perfect my Charleston Heston impression.

Internet Nerd Law:

Thou shalt smite it with fire.

Thou shalt accept all forms of Nerdery outside of your own realm of knowledge.

I don't know crap about Dr. Who but I know that it is a powerful force of Nerdery, therefore it holds sway in our universe. The biggest power a nerd possesses is an open mind. (that's a little lovey-dovey, i know but after Conan O'brien's last speech last night I'm feeling emotional)
Nerd On

The more obscure the fandom, the more hardcore the fans.

A true nerd must LARP at least once. After the passage of a decade, said nerd shall feel the deepest shame about LARPing, despite wallowing in all other aspects of nerdery. Furthermore, aforementioned nerd MUST admit to LARPing if asked directly and promptly hang head for 72 hours' time.

Nerd Law: When playing D&D, you must listen to Rush.

Thou shalt always have a towel at hand. Thusly a strag will automatically assume that thou is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend any of these or a dozen other items that thou might accidentally have "lost".

1) Before the internet it was just your opinion, man. Now it's the truth.
2) To deny the truth incurs your wrath. You will mock the intellect, sexual orientation and social lives of your enemy for hours on end, while typing beneath your bare-chested Ryan Reynolds poster in the spare bedroom.
3) They banned you from the forum because they are Net Nazis and not because you're a C*nt Wipe.
4) IF YOU'VE NOT BEEN BANNED YET YOUR NOT USING ENOUGH CAPITALS!!!
5) You noticed I used the wrong 'you're' above and had to resist the urge to correct me (or, indeed, have not resisted at all)
6) You will click on this link for Star Wars TV Series trailer despite knowing it can’t possibly be legit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
7)Fag!

Obsession is good and the core value of nerdery, but if your obsession causes you to lose a job, significant other, or cause harm to yourself, GET SOME FUCKING HELP.

Nedery is good. But don't be the one nerd in the room that even the other nerds are scared to be around.

Nerd Code > Title 18 > Part I (Crimes) > Chapter 115 (Treason, Sedition, and Subversive Activities) > § 2381 (Treason)

It is hereby forbidden for young nerds to take part in organized team sports. As a class, they are not to participate in school sponsored athletics (other than mandatory physical education), teams organized by local public entities (including--but not limited to--recreational centers, police athletic leagues, etc), or privately sponsored leagues.

Adult nerds are similarly barred from participating in age-appropriate team sports. This includes pick-up games of sports played by others at a professional level. Furthermore, adult nerds are forbidden from betting on sports, participating in fantasy sports leagues, or playing sports video games with an on-line component (including--but not limited to--Madden, FIFA, etc). Adult nerds are also prohibited from following seriously any sports teams or idividual athletes or allowing "the game" to take precedence over any other activiy.

Violation of this law by any young nerd will result in ostracism from the nerd community and the stigma among non-nerds of serving as a benchwarmer (or, in some extreme cases, "manager") for their chosen team. Adult nerds will also face ostracism from the nerd community and the additional punishment of poor performance in their given athletic endeavor due to a youth spent neglecting such pursuits.

Exceptions will be made at all ages for physical activities that will aid the participant in achieving the universal nerd goal of becoming a real-life comic book/video game/pulp/anime/roleplaying game/sci-fi or fantasy movie or novel character. These pursuits include--but are not limited to--archery, martial arts, fencing, target shooting, and equestrian sports. Furthermore, individual forms of exercise undertaken for the sake of combatting obesity, heart disease, diabetes and other maladies of the body are acceptable. Finally, a universal exception for watching and participating in professional-style wrestling is hereby granted.

Thou shalt not waste my time if thy favorite anime be Inuyasha. For it is Dragonball Z for girls and Rumiko Takahashi sucketh much dick.

Thou shalt keep circulating the tapes, until comes that happy, golden day when future generations may comes to possess the full goodness and splendour that is MST3K on DVD or it's futurisitic equivilant.

2600-42 PUNISHMENT
2600-42.010 NERD PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION OF LAWS

This chapter sets forth the policy for violation of nerd laws. Please check with your jurisdiction for conflicts.

2600-42.020 PLEA AGREEMENTS

The punishment may be appealed by the accused, via written accord, up to 2 hours after being found guilty of violating nerd law. In this case, the accused will be forced to wear the Hub Cap of Shame for a period no less than 1 hr.

2600-42.030 PUNISHMENT

Violators of nerd law will be threatened with smitting, then smitten. Once smote, further smitation and subsequent resmitation will commence until the smittee is deemed to be sufficiently smit by the smitter.

- shamelessly borrowed from Zork Grand Inquisitor

In the world of gentiles (Real Life™) thou must speaketh the language of the Nerd. Example: "Excuse me Miss, if I equip a full suit of your American Eagle clothing, will I get a set bonus?"

People obsessed with sports shall henceforth be dubbed nerds. Then they will realize that they are not much different than anyone obsessed with Star Trek, Transformers or the like. It's the same mania! They just have different levels of social acceptance.

All musicians wishing to become "Recording Artists" must first be classically trained, and attain a degree from a music conservatory.

Thou shalt build up an immunity to iocane powder.

Thou shalt watch the classics of all genres. This will include Nosferatu, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Mummy(the Boris Karloff ones), Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein, The original Twilight Zone and Outer Limits, and The Day the Earth Stood Still(so you will pronounce the phrase correctly Ash!), THEM!, any of Ray Harryhausen's movies, etc. In doing so, you will learn to appreciate Boris Karloff, Béla Lugosi, Claude Rains, Lon Chaney(Sr. and Jr.), and the like. You will also learn to be grateful for todays special effects, but wanting in the acting and script departments.

All nerds, young and old, must respect the beliefs of their kind--be they adherents of the Force, Zensunnism, or Greco-Roman polytheism. The Earth-bound religions may be ignored.

IT IS THE LAW! for all nerds under 20 to accept that they may not get laid.

Thy childeren must play video game systems in the order their parents played them. Starting with Atari, 8-bit Nintendo, Game Boy, Sega Master System, Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis, and so on...

Wow. Just...wow.

I was certainly entertained for the past half-hour, and mildly disturbed.

I am impressed on many levels, but disappointed. You see, some rules cannot be abided by everyone. For example, every nerd has seen Star Wars. Whether it is their god, they have seen it. Not every nerd has played D&D. We all know of it, sure, but outside of yelling "Two Magic! Two Magic!" frantically while beating my roommates with a cardboard wrapping tube while drunk at Christmas, I know not of the intricasies of RPGs. I also know that others are not as familiar with such things like the Green Lantern oath. I suggest that someone find the Nerd Heirarchy Graph and use that to determine what rules we follow.

Oh and I guess my entry (if other people hadn't picked Batman Always Wins) would be:

Flashlights must be used as a lightsaber at least once every six months.

As a younger Topless Roboter:
Older nerds must give newer nerds time to catch up.
My teachers and friends think I know really obscure old stuff but I haven't even played street fighter 2 yet. The younger nerds have a lot to catch up.

All Dungeon Masters, Game Masters, Storytellers, etc., MUST register and be licensed through the Global RPG Gamer Database.

Recieving such a license requires at least 2 witnesses to vouch for you (one of which must be as licensed DM), and consists of a 200-question timed written test.

Upon completion, each DM can print their certificate and registration card, which must be carried at all times while DMing. This card also lists the results of said exam, along with what to expect from the DM's campaigns (such as "Hope you like playing Lawful Good", "Total Pushover", and "Prepare to be Fucked")Licenses must be renewed annually.

Unlicensed DMs, and those caught DMing without their card, are to be beaten to death with a dice bag on sight.

Why such strict rules?

-So you don't spend 2 hours rolling a character and outfitting them with specific crafting skills and self made gear, just for the DM to start you off as a slave with no equipment.
-So your DM realizes that your first D&D character, who happens to be a fighter with 18 strength, should roll percentile for extra strength BEFORE you're killed by a gate that could have been held with even an 18/10 strength.
-So you aren't told, out of the blue, that the disguise you've been using that radiates alteration magic is actually an illusion, and now can be seen though by all undead and characters with at least a 19 intelligence.
-So that you don't waste 3 hours in a Wraith: The Oblivion game before you discover your Storyteller has absolutely no idea how to play, and you truly are damned to hell.
-And finally, so you don't bring your 11th level bard, who is your favorite character of all time, into their game only to have his class force-changed to PALADIN by a FUCKING EGO WEAPON because the DM wants a FUCKING PALADIN in the party to keep the MUCH HIGHER LEVEL, and significantly MORE FUCKING RUTHLESS EVIL CHARACTERS IN LINE!!!!!

.....not that any of those things have happened to me and I'm totally not bitter about it.

Thou shalt grin and bear it when a non-nerd acquaintance speaks of his "Superman #1" or "Spider-Man #1". Thou shalt not go into lengthy explanations as to how he doesn't, it's a reprint, and is worth nothing. In fact, none of his stuff is worth anything. Even his Wolverine mini-series. Otherwise, work meetings will be awkward.

Nerd Law: "Spider-Man" has a hyphen.

Any anime nerd who proclaims himself or herself as such must be capable of explaining the following: fansub distributor, Captain Harlock, Gatchaman, Kimba, and listing the titles of at least 5 series that came out before 1995.

If they cannot do all of the above, they shall be cast out into exile and given the title of "weeaboo narutard" for all of time.

It is a requirement to be able to understand and point out any 1138 tributes in film, TV, books, and video games, and those of us who write or create should take time to put a 1138 tribute in our work.

There shall be no viewing of fansubs by any self-described Otaku/anime fan who can afford to purschase the said material.(exceptions: viewing at conventions or titles that have no chance of being released stateside). Has punishment for breaking this law and contributing to the dour state the anime industries in, the guilty party must be strapped down to a chair, restrained via straight jacket; eyes forced open Clockwork Orange style while an ex-Geoneon employee administers drops to the guilty partys eyes while they are shown badly fansubbed versions of MD Geist being looped for eight hours on a projection screen in front of them. Mixed in at random will be clips of the most amazingly disgusting, wretch inducing hentais every produced followed by rapid, disjointed flashes of robot Alice doing doing her polka dance. This "treatment" will be administered three times a week until the guilty party is "cured" of his/her evil ugre to watch fansubbed anime that their rich ass is to cheap to buy.

And lo, let it be known, that from this time forth while the Star Wars Prequels are controversial bordering on abomination that Willow is the one true successor George Lucas's Original Star Wars Trilogy.

Nerds come in all shapes and sizes. Respect all nerds...unless they are wrong.

Should a fellow nerd be wrong, you must promise not to kill him until he reaches the top.

Any Star Wars geek had better be able to name all six bounty hunters from ESB. They should probably know their back stories as well.

All nerds, when purchasing something in a store, will never pick up the first item in the front. Because we all know, from learned behavior of buying comics, that you must find that one completely mint condition item that was never touched by human hands until you. Anything in the front has to have been previously handled so therefore is no longer in mint condition and therefore, less valuable.

Thou shalt know that Bender is the greatest.
And with thy dying breath curse Zoidberg.

Thou shalt not carry bubblegum, so that thou shalt always be prepared to kick ass.

Thou shalt have at less one bumper sticker in reference to Monty Python on said vehicle.

As a nerd, if I like one thing, say a figure or movie or something, and it is a part of a series, I instantly must own every part of that series.

This explains why I have over 80 Mighty Muggs, a bunch of Disney pins and the prequels on DVD.

Nerd law must state that at some point you will have owned a Texas Instruments graphing calculator. Punishment shall be learning how to use a slide rule.

All nerds must periodically try to use the Force in their daily lives and be approprately heart broken if they fail.

Thou must attempt to re-create a piece of weponary (be it lightsaber, magical wand, or, yay, even a replica of Mighty Mjolnir)at least once in yon nerdy existence.

First, thou must memorizeth at least one Monty Python skit, and recite it thrice daily while facing the BBC studios. Three shalt be the number that thou recite, and the number of the reciting shall be three. Four shalt thou not recite, neither recite thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy holy hand grenade of Nerdom towards thy foe, who, being insufficiently geeky in my sight, shall snuff it. Amen.

When thou gets into a nerd war, thou shall not spew forth thy nerd history. Instead, though shall simply show thy opponent thy room. The sight of all of the figurines, comics, and books, (which according to the Law of Friday must mostly be porn), and the signed picture of Jessica Rabbit will send your foe screaming to his heathen god. Amen.

Thou shalt not lay blame on a "broken controller" as an excuse for poor video game playing.

I can't read through all 300+ of these, so hopefully I didn't repeat one:
All writers of gramatically awful fan fiction shall be put into a locked room, and every English teacher that they have ever had will get 20 minutes alone with the offender and be equipped with a grammer book and a taser.
As a soon-to-be English teacher, I feel that this is something that should happen.

Thou shall not bitch or make fun of a how a game looks, no matter how bad or childish, is the game play is good. If thou does so, thou shall have your nerd license revoked and sent into a frat house to play with people with the same game standards.

Thou must NEVER feed the troll

Thou shalt never say tl;dr.

Nerd Commandment I: When thou hearest 'Tequila', thou must danceth as Pee Wee Herman hath danced.
Nerd Commandment II: If thou runneth a website, thou shall make sayeth website workable on yon Firefox.

The suggestion that there is no place for a girl in any particular zone of nerddom, geekery, or other fanatical place shall be met with instant revocation of broadband internet rights For All Time.

Any nerd who jerks off to hentai shall be sentenced to death by tentacle rape at the local aquarium, see how much they enjoy it then.

1)Serve the public trust

2)Protect the innocent

3)Uphold the law

4)

Thou shalt have a mental image of the TARDIS when they read on the callender: "Doctor's Appointment."

Nerd Law: The hat is my treasure, do not touch the hat

Thou shalt honor the memory of the wumpus, take vitamin C for scurvvy, avoid green screen burn-in, and fear dysentery and the complier.

All nerd children must have read or have been read the JRR Tolkien Quadrilogy of "The Hobbit", "The Fellowship of the Rings", The Two Tower" and "The Return of The King" and a direct correlation between these books and D&D must be drawn so that all children will understand how truly fucking awesome RPG's can be. The children should also be made to watch the extended director's cuts of the movies as well, so that they can form visuals of the stories that they have read. Also as an amendment to this anyone that says RPG's, D&D and Tolkien are for nerds will publically racked and tortured for no less than 30 days in public.

Yea, let it be known that mutually incompatible laws of physics, theology, biochemistry, Thaumaturgy, or morality between two universes and the inhabitants therin shalt not preclude any NERD or NERDS from thoughtfully debating which one would win in a stand up fight. Verily.

A childhood preference of Space: 1999 over Star Trek is punishable to the fullest extent of the Nerd Law.

The only allowable affirmative defense against this charge will be the inarguable awesomeness of the Space: 1999 Eagle 1 playset vs. the crappy Mego cardboard backdrop Enterprise bridge playset when I was asking for birthday gifts in 1976.

This is very much a film studies nerd thing, but it's needed in a world where people think Transformers 2 was awesome.

"A list of the greatest movies ever is invalid if there are no movies from before 1960 on it."

Nerd Law: There were never nipples on any of the various batsuits. Ever. And there never will be. Any statements or alleged evidence to the contrary are the fabricated fruits of urban legend, much like photos of Big Foot, the Loch Ness Monster, or chicks that play World of Warcraft. And anyone who insists on perpetuating this salacious falsehood will be tied down in the middle of a parking lot to have their kneecaps run over by a wisecracking Adam West in every incarnation of the Batmobile ever produced.

Let it be known: Nathan Fillion is the nerdy girl's Brad Pitt and second only to Bruce Campbell (aka thy God).

1)Thou shall NOT watch Star Wars in episodic order.

2)Thou must learn how to do to the Vulcan hand gesture, wether thou likes Star Trek or not.

3)Thou shall not quote the Simpsons past season 9.

4)Thou shall be familiar with a nerd property "since the begining"

5)Be able to at least recognize what a 20 sided die is.

6)Knows where the hidden 1-up is on level 1-1.

7)When thou says "the book was better" can give examples.

8) Thou must be able to do the Konami code.

9) Thou must defend an action of a fictional character.

10) Batman ALWAYS wins. ALWAYS.

The ulitmate nerd rule!!
All nerds must have a hygiene evaluation by another non nerd party(family member,coworker,etc.)before venturing into the public. All nerds must take a shower or bath for no less than 10 minutes with soap,hot water,shampoo,and a towel set that includes a clean towel and a wash cloth. This also includes a full dental hygiene regimen for no less than two minutes with a toothbrush of no older age of three months and toothpaste. Afer these initial processes the nerd in question must apply deodorant to under arm area and put on clean clothes(underwaer,shirt,pants,socks).Extra points if the nerd uses fragrances such as after shave of colonge. At with point the nerd must submit to a full inspection by a non-partisan party and is only allowed to leave the house upon this approval from this person of persons.
Penaties.
First Offense: Strong warning and the nerd is subject to harsh ridicule from any and all parties.
Second Offense: Confiscation of destuction of one piece of the nerd's collection or favorite possesion.
Third Offense: Complete confiscation of the nerd's collection or favorite thing. At which point the item(s) will be auction off to the lowest bidder or given away to charity.

TOY LAW: If you owned a certain item from age 5-13, and something happened to said item, you MUST purchase or own again said item by any means necessary by age 39. (Still looking for that DAMN Lazer Stream Water Gun System from 1977, so I don't break the law!)This is law for action figures, playsets, rack toys, models AND Power Records with comic book!

Thou shalt be required to attend at least one nerd convention(video games, anime comics, etc.) during thy lifetime.

In any nerd disputes, the competent use of bulletpoint form by either party in furtherance of his/her argument will automatically carry the same value as four valid, indisputable, and directly relevant points in favor of that side, regardless of the validity of either parties' arguments up to and beyond the point at which the bulletpoint form is introduced. All persons not found in compliance with this mandate will be sentenced to proof-read, by hand, all past and future installments of FFF's before mailing one proof-read copy of each story to each of member of their famiy as part of their holiday card for that year.

Good christ on a bike, quite the turnout for this one. Rob, your brain must be bleeding out your ears after reading this far...sorry dude, hope you're paid well.

And yet, there is only one True Law for Nerds:

"DO WHAT YOU LOVE...always remembering that whatever scorn and derision it earns you means nothing when compared to the joy you'll receive from getting drunk by yourself and dressing up as a furry Sailor Venus, stuffing a customized vibrating Yoda up your doll up your ass, and setting all the comic book stores on the Eastern Seaboard ablaze (so as to increase the value of your own collection), whilst arguing the semantics of Magic the Gathering card wording with your imaginary friends, or whatever the fuck else it is you need to do."

thou shalt have heard Leonard Nimoy's song "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" and William Shatner's rendition of "Rocketman" at least once in thy life

Nerd law: 011000100111001001011101100100010101010010001000001111101010000101051001010101010001001110000010100

NERD GIRL LAWS:

1. Thou will likely be an item of sexual interest. Accept this as thy divine and holy nerd duty and don't let it get to thine head.

2. Thou shall endure never ending "nerd girl test" where ever thou go within the nerd realm. Forgive them, for they know not how you kicketh the ass.

Now I'm stuck. Some help, ladies?

There shall be, under the bed or on the highest shelf of the closet of any nerd, a well-worn box. This box shall represent a childhood or adolescent attempt to create a fantasy world into which the nerd escaped. It shall contain drawings of dragons, elaborate maps, notebooks full of writing, secret codes, or poorly drawn comics, depending on the nerd. The box shall be treasured.

Thou shalt own non-cubical dice, e'en though thou may not necessarily table top game.

Law #1: Yoda knows. And knowing is half the battle.

Any bro-nerd shall immediately upon discovery attempt to let other bro-nerds know of two women fighting, record said interaction and possibly upload it to the nearest server.

Addendum: Should they be hot female nerds, attempt to get their numbers.

And let it be written that among those daily thoughts of video games, comics, beloved cartoons and movies of choice, all nerds shall be aware of the ever present threat of the Zombie Apocalypse. Therefore, for every place, location or circumstance a nerd finds themselves in, they shall always have an escape plan mentally prepared, along with a checklist of details that includes, but is not limited to, nearest locations for supplies, nearest gunshops, available resources for makeshift weapons, possible bunkers within reach, and those nearby that would be worthy fighting companions.

If I were to pass a Nerd Law, i would totally pass one that not only benefits the nerd community, but that would totally give me a huge boner.

The only law that I would pass, is that there would have to be a new run of Masters of the Universe, Thundercats, Transformers and GI Joe. This would have to be both animated and in comic book form and further more the only artist that is allowed to work on said series is Alex Ross, I don't care if he doesn't know how to make an animated series, he better fucking learn. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Nerd Law #6: When the last eagle flies over the last crumbling mountain, and the last lion roars at the last dusty fountain... You are ALIVE, and you are the Last Unicorn.

All nerds must agree to rescue the princess, no matter how many times you know she will manage to get captured thereafter, the unlikelihood of her removing her frock after you do must also be ignored. Nanu nanu!

The Law of the Golden Mean

1. Any thing can be purchased, achieved or obtained that consists of a discrete number of individual parts, issues, episodes, or location; such as issues of a comic book, trading cards in a set, action figures in a line or autographs of the cast of a television show or movie is referred to in this law is subject to the Law of the Golden Mean.

2. Any nerd in possession of more than 61.8% of the individual items in such a series must, if at all possible, either:
a. proceed to acquire each of the remaining items so as to complete the set, or
b. sell one or more items on eBay until the nerd again owns less than 61.8% of the total series.

3. If the items owned make up a complete set of a more specific series, the law is satisfied.

Examples:

Peter owns seasons one, two, three and four of Babylon 5 on DVD. Peter owns 4 of 5 (80%) of Babylon 5 on DVD, and so must also purchase Season 5 to complete the set, even though it kind of sucked.

Clark owns the first nine of sixteen collected volumes of Dave Sim's "Cerebus the Aardvark." Clark owns only 56.25% of the Cerebus books, and therefore may stop purchasing them without violating this Law once he realizes that they've gotten longwinded, incomprehensible, and obnoxious.

Logan owns all of issues 27 through 860 of Detective Comics except for Issue #449 ("Midnight Rustler of Gotham City"). Logan owns 96.7% of all Detective Comics issues and would ordinarily be required to complete the set. However, by buying Issue #449, Logan can complete the more specific set of all Detective Comics issues published since the introduction of Batman, after which he does not need to purchase issues 1 through 27.

Reed has photographs of himself with William Shatner, Majel Barrett, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, and Walter Koenig. His photographs comprise only 55.6% of the original nine-member regular cast of Star Trek: The Original Series, and it is unnecessary for him to stalk either Michelle Nichols or Grace Lee Whitney, although I bet that won't stop him.

Bruce has 300 issues of Fantastic Four from the 1960s through the 1980s in plastic storage tubs under his bed. Because Bruce owns less than 61.8% of the 500-plus Fantastic Four issues, he is not required to purchase the entire set. However, Bruce's collection likely includes more than 61.8% of those Fantastic Four issues inked by Joe Sinnott, and if Bruce is aware of this, he will be required to complete that subset.

For most nerds, failure to abide by the Law of the Golden Mean will result in madness, obsession, and eventually a drunken late-night sale of the entire remaining collection on eBay.

By nerd law there is only one correct answer to the question of life the universe and everything.

The Law of the Golden Mean

1. Any thing that can be purchased, achieved or obtained that consists of a discrete number of individual parts, issues, episodes, or location; such as issues of a comic book, trading cards in a set, or action figures in a line is subject to the Law of the Golden Mean.

2. Any nerd in possession of more than 61.8% of the individual items in such a series must, if at all possible, either:
a. proceed to acquire each of the remaining items so as to complete the set, or
b. sell one or more items on eBay until the nerd again owns less than 61.8% of the total series.

3. If the items owned make up a complete set of a more specific series, the law is satisfied.

Examples:

Peter owns seasons one, two, three and four of Babylon 5 on DVD. Peter owns 4 of 5 (80%) of Babylon 5 on DVD, and so must also purchase Season 5 to complete the set, even though it kind of sucked.

Clark owns the first nine of sixteen collected volumes of Dave Sim's "Cerebus the Aardvark." Clark owns only 56.25% of the Cerebus books, and therefore may stop purchasing them without violating this Law once he realizes that they've gotten longwinded, incomprehensible, and obnoxious.

Logan owns all of issues 27 through 860 of Detective Comics except for Issue #449 ("Midnight Rustler of Gotham City"). Logan owns 96.7% of all Detective Comics issues and would ordinarily be required to complete the set. However, by buying Issue #449, Logan can complete the more specific set of all Detective Comics issues published since the introduction of Batman, after which he does not need to purchase issues 1 through 27.

Reed has photographs of himself with William Shatner, Majel Barrett, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, and Walter Koenig. His photographs comprise only 55.6% of the original nine-member regular cast of Star Trek: The Original Series, and it is unnecessary for him to stalk either Michelle Nichols or Grace Lee Whitney, although I bet that won't stop him.

Bruce has 300 issues of Fantastic Four from the 1960s through the 1980s in plastic storage tubs under his bed. Because Bruce owns less than 61.8% of the 500-plus Fantastic Four issues, he is not required to purchase the entire set. However, Bruce's collection likely includes more than 61.8% of those Fantastic Four issues inked by Joe Sinnott, and if Bruce is aware of this, he will be required to complete that subset.

For most nerds, failure to abide by the Law of the Golden Mean will result in madness, obsession, and eventually a drunken late-night sale of the entire remaining collection on eBay.

-Thou Shalt Quote Monty Python if Thou is only 100% sure of the skits lines. Failure would result in a butt kicking by either
a) Chuck Norris
b) Brock Lesnar
c) Stone Cold Steve Austin

-It shall be that the 1986 Transformers Movie is the superior, and ROTF is inferior

-X-Box 360 Developers must make the next console Red Ring Free, or the PS 4 would beat them

-Uncharted 3 must come out before the end of the PS 3's lifespan

All nerds must develop a character trait that is expressed when in an uncomfortable setting or when the nerd wishes to be left alone.

To each, their own little quark. Especially the good looking ones: they have really interesting quirks. These can range from wearing ancient 80's prescription glasses to channel the inner-power of the geek while on a jog in hopes of deterring rapists all the way to shamelessly quoting Crowley's devious texts to scare off any annoying house-guests the nerd might encounter. (Both of which are true examples.)

These character traits were started in the early career of the nerd, when being a nerd meant being bullied or shunned. Obviously instead of physical prowess or divine retribution the nerd found solace in the powers of the mind. Thus the nerd formulated a very strategic way of repelling the constant onslaught of discordian living.

Every nerd follows some sort of distinguished personality trait from these times; interestingly enough when in groups they instinctively (and unknowingly) work around each other's strange habits.

We nerds are all vastly different be us trek or wars fans, space opera to ancient Japanese swordsmen, whatever it may be we share this one little tic of strange behavior that unites every one of us. And this, I believe, is the closest 'law' that could be universally said about us nerds.

"I believe you have my stapler,"
amen.

UK Nerd Law;
Whilst shopping in the supermarket, thou shall pick up packs of Jaffa Cakes & exclaim "Kree Jaffa" and "Indeed!"

http://www.theologian.org.uk/audio/images/jaffa.jpg

Chapter VI - Nerds & Zombies
VI.01 - Introduction : About Zombies
There's no need to describe Zombies. Nerds know what they look like and what they want (your brain). If John Ronald Reuel Tolkien have had written about zombies instead of Hobbits, he would have saved 3 chapters.
VI.02 - Nerds know what to do to survive Zombies apocalypse, and secretly wish it will happen soon, to have sex with a cheerleader, and shoot this Cops who have been bitten, because he's asking you "kiiill me i don't want to be a freak!" (Stupid bastard ! Nerds doesn't care being transformed into zombie and eat the cheerleader !!)

(my apologies for my english, i eat frogs)

Chapter VI - Nerds & Zombies
VI.01 - Introduction : About Zombies
There's no need to describe Zombies. Nerds know what they look like and what they want (your brain). If John Ronald Reuel Tolkien have had written about zombies instead of Hobbits, he would have saved 3 chapters.
VI.02 - Nerds know what to do to survive Zombies apocalypse, and secretly wish it will happen soon, to have sex with a cheerleader, and shoot this Cops who have been bitten, because he's asking you "kiiill me i don't want to be a freak!" (Stupid bastard ! Nerds doesn't care being transformed into zombie and eat the cheerleader !!)

(my apologies for my english, i eat frogs)

Though shalt know what is meant by "Have a jelly baby!"

Revised Nerd Statute 512.302

THE READING OF TEXTS REQUIRED FOR CLAIMING FAN STATUS

(1) A person may only be considered a fan of any given work or character when they meet the following requirements:
(a) Have read, seen, or listened to the original work, depending on the medium of the original work.
(b) Actually enjoy, or at least have an appreciation for the original work, and not just the recent adaptation of the work.
(c) Must have liked the work prior to knowledge of the most recent adaptation of the work, or, at least remain interested in the property for 6 months after it leaves the box office/Top 40/NYT bestseller list.
(2) Should the above conditions be met, and the person seeking fan status is not primarily interested in the franchise as an avenue for amateur pornographic expression or consumption, they may call themselves a fan, as defined in RNeS 512.010.

Thou must not claim to discover geek-lore from previous generations and claim it as your own without approval from thine geek elders.

(Application: we don't need a new generation quoting Fight Club as if it only speaks to them)

Christ, 90% of these are lame as fuck.

As opposed to 100% of yours?

It is vital to nerdhood that a nerd explain, in obscene detail, nerdy things to the uneducated--Science fiction, comic books, quantum physics, and anything else that normal people don't realize that they want to know everything about.

This is important for nerds who can't, for whatever reason, reproduce. By spreading nerd knowledge, one might convert another to nerdhood, and thus reproduce in much the same way as a zombie or vampire that can only bite someone who stands still for an hour while being told how awesome being undead is.

Thou shalt do thine best to explain Lost to the uninitiated (let it be known that thou mayst end up sighing heavily stating ‘tis complicated before giving up). Thou must Know that Juliet Burke could kick Kate Austen’s ass ten times over before breaking a sweat and that Juliet only kissed Jack because her lips needed some action.

thou shalt felt alone and unloved until the day of thy discovery of world of warcraft and roxxxy the sexbot

When playing Dungeons and Dragons with family or friends, thou shalt not submit and let a 12 year old girl be the DM lest your campaign be full of cute pink dragons with bubble breath and unicorns and a town where everyone is called 'barbera'and works as a barber because it's funny.

Variation of the rule: When attempting to teach 17 year old girls to play Dungeons and Dragons, thou shalt not submit and let your father be DM because he will invariably convince the 4 girls around the table that the only races and classes you can be are oozes and slimes, and they will buy it and you will spend an hour creating ooze and slime characters only for DM Dad to laugh and tell you that they can't move and the party is stuck there forever and your friends vow never to play Dungeons and Dragons ever again.

(I suppose these rules might have to be altered slightly to fit the context as not many people have 17 year old female friends that they can convince into playing Dungeons and Dragons, but considering that I fall into that category and was hosting a board games day at my house they had to go along with it. XD)

Nerd Commandment #1:
William Shatner is thy god, and Bruce Campbell is his prophet

Nerd Law 14.69
A nerd shall not question where the trailer comes from when Optimus Prime transforms into a deisel or how Megatron transforms into a small hand gun. It should just be excepted as is and never questioned hence forth.

Nerd Law 14.69.2
A nerd shall not question where the trailer comes from when Optimus Prime transforms into a deisel or how Megatron transforms into a small hand gun. It should just be accepted as is and never questioned hence forth.