I was having a cinematic discussion with my suitemates and some random guys, when one of my "friends" states how much he loved Transformers 2. We all tried to dissuade him, but he told this guy whose name he didn't even know, that he was a terrible person for disagreeing. I wanted to punch his face in until it looked dumber than Megatron's vagina-mouth.

This morning actually
See I live in south WI it was -3 without wind chill and I'm in door to door sales (good food not insurance) I have to drive a freezer truck all day and pull products from said freezer
I come in this morning and my truck heater is broken for the third day now I'm normally a mild mannered person but that was the last straw and I'm pissed so I write a long note to our mechanic go on a tirade in front of my manager and then my phone rings.... The original zelda theme
He begins to make fun of me and yeah HANK SMASH threw my best pen at the wall I told him to get bent and walked out. I'm entering this on my phone in my truck with my nuts frozen to my right leg.
hopefully on monday I'm still employed

TED WANTS TO SMASH MARVEL EXECUTIVES FOR UNLEASHING CRAPPY DEADPOOL VARIANT INCENTIVES, GRITTY FRANCHISE REBOOTS, AND ILL-CONCEIVED "HEROIC AGE" TO RET-CON YEARS OF MEDIOCRE CROSSOVER EVENTS. Whoa, sorry, didn't realize caps lock was on. But the threat still stands.

When I went to Target on Tuesday, and they didn't have No More Heroes 2 in stock

This happened a few months ago in script writing class (yeah the very same one with that girl I have yet to ask out...)

Anyway ever class we'd watch a film and analyze it and so forth. That day we saw Back to the Future. Oh how happy and delighted I was at watching one of my favorite films, in a college class no less.

So after the film ends we have a discussion and take a few notes same as usual. As me and my buddy walk out of class I hear some guy say the most mortifying sentence I have ever heard in my almost 20 years of living. "That movie was stupid as hell, we should have watched Transformers better story and action. Also Megan Fox..." His friend than agreed with him and stood there next to the rail in awe of what I had just witnessed.

The next 20 mins were composed of rage I had never felt or would ever wan't to again. As I sat down with my buddy the Rage was finally unleashed. I began swearing and talking about how idiotic the human race is and this led to a short detour about how we need another plague to wipe out most of the population even if it took me with it i'd be okay with that. You want to know what my friend did? HE LAUGHED!!! While I am raging he fueled the flames. Long story short the raging stopped when a professor from the sculpting class saw me yell out "Fuck Cybertron!" and then gave me a look of confusion.

I then went home and had some honey bunches of oats...I like those. Thanks Rob for making me relive a very horrible memory.

Okay here goes: So I am at my local comic shop speaking to my good friend, the owner of the establishment, and we see these two guys in moving company shirts walk in. They stand by the door and look around a bit and finally my friend asks him if he can help them. They said no they were just taking a look at what they'd be working with tomorrow. Well my friend(Let's call him John) and I exchanged bewildered glances.
"What are you talking about?" John asked.
"Well we have to move all the contents of this business tomorrow. Its being seized by the Sheriff's office for sale at a later date."
John blinked and the movers turned and left. He locked the door and got on the phone muttering, "That b@tch... She wouldn't..."
He called his lawyer to find out his offices had just received a notice, his ex wife who had been raking him over the coals for nearly 2 years had gotten her lawyer to convince a judge to issue an order for the business and all contents to be seized to make up for missed alimony payments. So we spent the rest of the evening packing any merch of value and taking it to some of our friends houses so that he would be able to still get something out of it all and not left high and dry. The whole time I just wanted to hulk out and squish the puny B$tch.
He was so devistated financially he was never able to reopen the shop.

It happened when I was playing Star Wars Force Unleashed. It was so damn hard to pull that Star Destroyer out of the sky. I tried and tried until I just had to give up. Then I learned that all you have to do is use lightning on the tie fighters that come at you and then keep pulling on the Star Destroyer. I hulked out intensely. I was so mad. Things were thrown, valuables were broken... but more importantly I realized I was completely dark side.

Last Time i wanted to hulk out: When I heard they we're making a sequel to Twilight, i wish i could've Lou Ferrignoed robert pattinson to stop it from happening

It was the summer of 2003 and I was suffering from an insane case of mono. My fever was over the one hundred mark for a few days and I couldn't breathe through my sinuses at all because of the snot buildup. One evening I saw the "making of" for the new Hulk movie and got pretty pumped about it. An hour later I was back in bed and started hallucinating from fever and actually thought I could turn into the Hulk. For at least an hour I kept going over in my mind how if I could just rage out I could be Hulk when I turned back I wouldn't be sick anymore. I couldn't ever turn and that made me mad. I didn't want to turn, I knew I could. Later when I was still sick and came to my senses I was even more pissed off. Followed by some crying and a nap.

This happened to me the other day: my friend text messages me to call a few Wal-Marts to see if they have the new DC Universe Classics wave in (the Kilowog Build A Figure one; side note, I have the whole set as of this writing). The first store I call up, I ask to be connected to the toy department. The guy who picks up A): doesn't work in the toy department and B): sounds like he's 93 years old. He says he'll still check for me. Ok, so I tell him "I'm looking for any DC Universe classics figures you have. It's a comic book toyline." He puts me on hold.
When he comes back he tells me "Yes, we hve the Marvel Universe toys." This is the best part: when I correct him and tell him that's not what I'm looking for, I shit you not, he says this:

"Marvel Universe is a DC Comic book."

You know that scene in Ghost Dad when Bill Cosby chokes out that guy through the phone line. Yeah. I wanted to do that.

So, my best friend and myself are playing with NERF guns, shooting our children and generally being jackass nerd parents.

I busted out the NERF Vulcan, which is essentially a foam spraying gatling gun, for us to use in this scrimmage. I take a turn waylaying the children, then my friend does the same, laughing the whole time.

My oldest boy of 7 years points out that the only reason we're "winning" is because of our advanced weaponry. I call his bluff and decide to allow him the chance to use the Vulcan.

He grins at me and my friend, expecting to annihilate us with the massive beast of geek artillery. I hide behind the sofa and hear him him taking single fire pot shots at the couch, waiting for me to 'show myself'.

I pop up with a little NERF pea shooter and from about 12 feet away shoot him in the forehead. At this time my friend shoots him in the butt, causing a velcro-topped dart to stick to it.

At this point he's pissed. Water wells up in his eyes, and he lets out a blood curdling scream. His wounded ego and having this massive weapon brought out his inner Rambo. In his fury he sprayed NERF darts 180 degrees and get them all over the house.

We're still finding the damn things a month later. Totally worth it.

Just ONE?! Hmmm...

So I was having a bad day. I went back to the town I went to college and was about to see Spider-Man 3 with people I didn't particularly care for. Already, a volatile situation.

All of a sudden, one particular "friend" comes over and knowing that I'm into writing and films and want to work in them, starts to tell me about this one guy he knows. Scratch that, make it "his brother knows." Supposedly, this guy is "a great writer, truly blessed." He's written all the time as a kid, and he recently submitted screenplays for the "Chronicles of Narnia" films, which were rejected only on the grounds that they'd already contracted someone else. But he follows up with another screenplay that DID get accepted: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which just happened to be the one HP film not written by Steve Kloves.

I later look it up and send him an email saying "okay, that guy didn't write it, it was Michael Goldenberg."

He replies "That's one of his pseudonyms. He's very modest and doesn't want credit. I've seen the script he wrote, my brother sent me a picture of it."

I reply "That's bullshit, he could have printed it out and changed the name. A writer trying to break in would not use a pseudonym, and if he doesn't want credit then he shouldn't be writing for a fucking movie! And besides, Goldenberg is an established writer!"

He replies "He won a Golden Globe for Ugly Betty"

I reply "THEY DON'T HAVE GOLDEN GLOBES FOR FUCKING WRITING WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?!"

He replies "Well, look, you don't have to believe me but I know what I saw and I don't lie."

I had to resist shouting "FUCK YOU YA GODDAMN ATTENTION GRABBING WHORE I DON'T EVEN FUCKING LIKE YOU WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FUCKING FRIEND BREAKING INTO THE MOVIE INDUSTRY HOW THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP ME?!!?!?" at the computer screen.

I don't bother keeping in touch with him at all anymore.

Here I will make it short.
YESTURDAY WHEN I HEARD FROM THE PREZ THAT HE IS CUTTING NASA FUNDING. WTF MAN! LEAVE NASA ALONE AND GO BUILD A NEW BRAIN! for the love of science wtf is wrong with congress!

When I found out how badly that shitty Clone Wars cartoon fucked over the Mandalorians, I wanted to Hulk smash everyone who had anything to do with that decision.

For one, comic books aren't the only thing that established the Mandalorians. They play a large role in my favorite video games, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and an even bigger one in its sequel, SW: KOTOR II: The Sith Lords. You get Mandalore the Preserver (Canderous Ordo) as a freaking party member for fuck's sake and he still likes you /even after you gave orders that destroyed a planet and killed millions of his men/ because the Mandlorians on a warrior culture and they respect your strength.

Also, KOTOR II established that Jango Fett (or Boba Fett, though Kreia might not have been able to see the clone, especially since there was one party member whose future she couldn't see at the end of the game *loses nerd points for not remembering which party member it was* was the last of the Mandalorians and I appreciate the storytelling of BioWare and Obsidian more than the shit George Lucas puts out these days.

I also wanted to Hulk smash Rob a little when he referred to the Mandalorians as "Mandalores". Mandalore is the title taken by the leader of the Mandalorians.

Since it says the time I time I got probably way to angry about something was yesterday when I was watching the new episode of Supernatural. I was just with myself, but the episode was set up as such that the end of the world would be caused by a bunch of little shits who were playing with Dark Magic, I got way to pissed. Pretty much the world episode was a string of profanity from me, Thought the writers were copping out and making it really stupid. I laughed when a kid, A KID, got stabbed [for lack of a better word] with a human hand. But it was at least 20 solid minutes of me being all, "those little fucking shits!! I swear to fucking if they cause the apocalypse I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, FUCK THEM KILL THOSE FUCKING BASTERDS!", I wasn't very proud when it ended and the SPN writers hadn't done something incredibly stupid.

There was this one time I painstakingly photoshopped two exclusive images of a Captain America statue and another nerd website passed them off as their own and a third geeky site put them up without giving me any credit.

I had a hissy fit that made the entire Internet slow to a crawl to choose sides and weigh in.

I kid, I kid.

Love your site.

(C'mon, that's gotta at least be honorable mention.)

Kaboom! rumble, rumble, rumble.. Lightnin' has spoken.

I last hulked out when you told me they cancelled Ugly Betty on ABC.

Here's the deal. I have a really old PC (It's bought in 2001., it still has Windows 98 on it and it has like 20 giga's of Hard Disk), which is overcrowded with stuff. Lately, whatever I do, he restarts himself.
I enter Word he restarts.
I play a song he restarts.
I open a web-browser he restarts.
Even when he doesn't restart on that stuff he restarts on other stuff, maybe a click of a mouse, or a song change on the playlist or SOMETHING FRICKIN' ELSE...

I'm tryin to be calm about it, but every time he restarts I fell like I'll shred it to pieces with my fingers and burn it in front of the house laughing hysterically. So, yeah, that's my entry. I really need to get a new PC...

Earlier this week. Holy FUCK. There was a news article posted in one of the online communities I'm in, about some 18 year-old chick who thinks she's a werewolf because she wears a fox (!) tail on her ass and because her Tourette's Syndrome from a blunt-force trauma (car accident) makes her yip. She decided to chop the head off a dead dog she found (instead of trying to find its owners) because apparently werewolves do that sort of thing. Oh, and she dropped out of school in 9th grade, loves BDSM, and her mom "supports her career choice."

Several of the furries who happen to be in said community immediately jumped in to defend this freak of nature.

It made me go AKSJDFHAKLJSDHFAKLJSDFHAKLJSDFH.

I was talking to someone about movies, I can't remember why we came to it, but they said they liked Armageddon. I then proceeded to explain to them why it has some of the worst science of any science fiction movie. At this point, they just shrugged and said, "It was still a good movie."

I wanted to smash them over the head with a chair and then tell them that I learned from movies that this would knock them out for a few minutes with little side effects. Armageddon and movies like it do, I believe, actually make people dumber. I blame them specifically because I don't see how it would have cost MORE to get some of the science correct that they got horribly, horribly wrong.

Stupid movies make stupid people. Stupid people make me angry. MAKE VERY ANGRY.

Hm, last time I wanted to Hulk out... Well, my mother is an open Twitard. That alone is worth Hulking out, but there's more. I had a vampire marathon one day; Nosferatu, the Universal Dracula, the first Hammer Dracula, Lost Boys, Shadow of the Vampire, and Blade. I've got the popcorn popped, several root beers, and empty bladder, and a fifty inch HDTV with surround sound. Life is good.
Halfway through Nosferatu, my mom comes into the living room and starts harping on the film quality, lack of sound and such, which is annoying on its own, but what happened next made me want to put two massive, green fists through the TV, and lord knows it'd take something huge to make me turn on a television.
I get up to use the bathroom, root beer goes right through me, and when I come back... There's no Orlock... There's a giant, sparkling cock wad and a Mary Sue on my screen. My mom had taken my DVD out and put Twilight in. Do you know what it's like to go from a terrifying, bald, shambling undead blood sucker to a sparkling, gorilla browed butt pirate? This image wouldn't leave my mind until I washed it out with Bela Lugosi brand brain soap; http://verydemotivational.com/2010/01/19/demotivational-posters-edward-cullens-true-form/

Coincidentally, my incident happened just yesterday. I was on Facebook, and my friend posted this long, rambling status about J.D. Salinger's death, which decried us all for being "phonies" and how Holden was so right. Obviously she DID NOT get the point of Catcher in the Rye (we're both high schoolers, by the way, but I'm not an idiot), so my own insult sparked a massive flame war. Back and forth, dragging friends into it. This may not seem nerdy, but then there was the straw that broke the nerdy camel's back: she started attacking me personally for being a comic book fan and my Batman profile picture. If I could have, I would have Hulk-jumped three miles to crush her skull in my hands. But as it stood, I jut impotently nerd-raged against her until I got the point across. Times like that are fucking RIFE for bad, Hulkian grammar and property damage.

This one doubles as an ashamed of being a nerd moment, but here it is.
At lunch one day, a kid came up to my table and started talking to my friend. At the same time, I was having a conversation with a friend about comics. When Batman came up in the conversation, the kid turned to me and said “Batman is so on steroids.” I immediately became angry. HOW DARE HE SAY THAT BATMAN COUL POSSIBLY BE ON STEROIDS. He trained for SIX FUCKING YEARS to become what he is today. It infuriated me to no ends. I said, and I quote “You’d have to be retarded to say Batman was ever on steroids.”
Now comes the shame part. After my moment of anger, I calmed down and resumed my conversation. After a while the kid went back to his own table. Then I noticed something. He had sat down at the special needs table. The kid was literally retarded. Was my first thought shame, frustration, anger? No. My first thought was “See, you DO have to be retarded to think Batman was on steroids.”
And for this I will be forever ashamed.

I wanted to She-Hulk (Shulk?) Out once during a double-date. The two boys, avid computer nerds, were talking about their area of technical expertise. My boyfriend's friend turns to me and says: "You might want to talk to my girlfriend about something now." Like, say, lipstick, nail-polish, and/or My Little Pony? If only I had been a green, 7 foot tall, 600 pounds-of-pure-muscle lady lawyer, I would've smashed that nerd right into the vinyl of the restaurant booth. Check please!

I go to school and have been seeing this girl, she really isnt a nerd but she does enjoy the Justice League cartoons that i put on before we go to sleep. Well over christmas break i drive 5 hours to spend the week with this chick and everything is going swell, we have fun and at the end of every night we fall asleep to Justice League.

The last night im there she throws a party and everything is going good and we get into bed and i start up Justice League, about 3 minutes into the show some dude opens up the door and looks at me and throws me a pillow and says "here you can cuddle with that" and then jumps onto the bed and puts his arm around my girl. He then looks at the tv and says "what the fuck is this lame shit, and whos that fucking retarded looking alien"

Now im not a buff guy but i was getting pissed, not only did he take my girl but insulted Martian Manhunter. I was getting reading to HULK OUT on this fuck but my girl was one step ahead of my and elbowed him in his nose and threw him off the bed. She then cuddled up next to me and says " Nobody talks shit about Martian Manhunter"

So last night, I'm playing through the first God of War (via the God of War Collection on PS3), and I get to the point where Kratos goes to Hades. It's pretty challenging for the most part, but nothing compared to the part where you have to climb up the spinning pillars with the blades on them. While the first set of pillars was tough, for some reason, it didn't give me nearly as much of a problem as the second set. For about the next hour, I kept climbing and getting swatted back down to the bottom by those blades, and at one point, I tried to leap up a little further, but the analog stick being a tad sensitive apparently thought I wanted to jump to the side which, of course, threw me right into one of the blades. Enraged, I shouted, "That's not what I did!" to which my friend/temporary roommate chuckled and said, "Apparently, you did." Without even thinking, I heard myself saying, "If you don't shut the fuck up, I swear to god I will brain you with this controller." I was a bit shocked by what I'd just said and even more shocked that I may very well have meant it.

Seriously, those pillars are to God of War what the asteroid level was to Dead Space. Or what the jetski level was to Uncharted.

I was managing a hobby store a few years back. I had dreads at the time and my lip was double pierced, but I'm generally mild mannered and got along with most.
One morning this woman walks in to pass out fliers for a big name coffee shop that I hadn't heard of before that was opening across the street. She emphasized their selection and fantastic hours in her little speech, so I asked her what their hours were going to be.
She rattles off their hours, and I responded how that wasn't any different from the other coffee shop in the area. Now, being the night owl that I am, I smiled at her and said, "You know what would really be great around here? A 24 hour coffee shop. That would really do well."
She didn't miss a second, "Oh no, we don't want those kinds of customers."

She said 'THOSE KINDS OF CUSTOMERS', as if night owls were a plague, to me the person expressing interest in those hours, to MY FACE, while at the same time holding out her FLIERS FOR ME TO PASS OUT.

I looked her right in the eye, pitched the bundle of fliers in the trash, and told her to have a great day. While in my head I was smashing her face through the display case between us...

I cannot believe people...

i am a mailman that delivers to a gentleman who buys it all comics action figures statues every wednesday due to his handicap he orders from a website, as much or a nerd that i am i always deliver to him first just so i can see his new buy, he gets a big disability check and spends it all on swag, one week all he talked about a life size bust of venom by alex ross he bought so all week i kept an eye out for it, on thursday i saw the box beside my route and was excited because i knew i was gonna take a glimpse at a work of art. i went to deliver it and when i got there his wife opened the door and with no hesitation saw the huge heavy box and began her tirade in spanish none the less she kicked the wheel chair from under him and threw it far from him so he wouldnt get to the door she grabbed the box opened it and pulled ole venom head i was in shock not only because the bust was awesome but she rised it above her head and shattered it i was pissed all that was left was venoms tongue which i picked up i hulked out i went it to the apt and with my super strength picked him up with one hand and the wheel chair with the other and a bag full of mail around my shoulder out the door because his wife ran in with a kitchen knife right at us i dropped the chair and ran to my mail truck where i called the cops and locked the door i never knew i had strength like that

I went to Wizard Con in Dallas in 2008. I had a great time, walking around with two of my nerdiest friends, looking through old comic books, talking to other nerds like me, etc.

Well, over the PA, they announce that Danny Trejo will be taking questions in some exhibit hall in a few minutes. I shit my pants, and force my friends to haul ass over to the QnA.

Afterwords, he has a meet and greet, where he's taking pictures with fans and signing autographs (for $25 a pop...) Anywho, it was finally my turn, got my picture taken with him (which can be seen right here: http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/1935/19778106214952727223100.jpg), and my autograph.

Jump ahead 6 months. I'm moving, and my priceless autographed picture is for some reason taken out of its frame. And ripped in half.

Things were broken, including a nose.

The first afternoon that I player Megaman 9, I found it very hard. But I enjoyed its difficulty.

I reach a section of the Plug Man stage. I jump on a flying vanishing-unvanishing brick. Then I jump in the next one. The next one comes tricky. Then I jump and A BRICK UNVANISHES IN FRONT OF ME AND HIT ME IN THE FUCKING FACE, AND I FALL IN THE ABYSS, THAT WAS MY LAST LIFE, GAME OVER, BACK TO THE START, I'M GOING TO DESTROY CAPCOM WITH MY FISTS!

The last time I She-Hulked out was when I asked the organizer of the con in my city (also the owner of one of my favourite nerd shops) when he was going to have Ray Park at the con.

He told me that after Ray Park douched out on him at a con in another city, he didn't want to have anything to do with him.

I almost put my fist through a wall but instead said, "....so we ALL have to suffer for your PREJUDICE?"

It was a wonderful morning I had concluded most of my studies, until Aquaman was brought up. I hate Aqauman so much, I hate his bright orange suit, and his retarded rubber gloves.

But the kid did something worse, he said Aquaman could swim, I told him Aquaman was lame and could not. He repeated his erroneous statement. So I told him again, that fucker said Aquaman could fly.

I wanted to punch that little asshole right his his larynx. I still want to fucking punch that kid, and I don't even like Aquaman NOR his hook hand OR his golden, flowing, mullet.

losing my legendary FFF status to bags full of Sherlock Holmes constipation shit and an upstart who collects passed out severed Cyclops heads....

this means war....

Man, this comment thread makes me want to BANNER IN.

What happened to not being "the one nerd that even the other nerds are scared to be around"?

Practice your Commandments!

Every summer or so I end up working at my father's store, which is a building supply and hardware store. Imagine the father's business from Blue Velvet, except with a big warehouse filled with planks of lumber and every conceivable thing a building might be made out of. I live in the deep south, which has two bad things going for it: the oppressive heat and stupidity that grows on trees. One of my cousins who I worked with, (it's standard for the boys in my family to begin their working careers way in advance at the store, as it's equally owned by my father, his brother and their two cousins) once asked me why I knew so many things, and I explained to him that "learning does not end after the school bell rings."

I'm not one to avoid idle talk, and I always end up butting in on conversations and raining of someone's parade with cold, hard facts. My cousin asked where I knew all these things, and I frankly told him wikipedia. Being %100 redneck his first reaction was to instantly deflate the basis of my self education.

The discussion was particularly about evolution and how I supported the theory, (or fact) and how I knew it was "right". My cousin had already made up his mind before even engaging the discussion, despite my detailed and well-thought explanation of the evolutionary process. But, because I received most of my information from Wikipedia he immediately disregarded everything I said, despite the recent acknowledgment of the website's legitimacy by trusted scholars.

I was frustrated because I had been working all summer in the blistering heat, sweating under the thick blanket of humidity and breaking my back toting heavy loads of lumber and I had to deal with the mindless, unfounded ridicule by heathen simpletons. The men I worked with were poorly educated, poorly behaved, racist, religiously fanatic and down right ignorant. My cousin, especially, was giving me a hard time just to fuel my nerd rage. I was about to go beast mode on his ass until i realized I was being manipulated like a puppet, and I calmed down. This was a boy who only cared about he simple pleasures of shooting squirrels and catching fish, and I was someone who took pleasure in learning and studying about any odd subject that piqued my interest. We were bound for disagreement, and I let the confrontation slide.

HULK HATE SCHOOL DANCE...HULK HATE BEING IGNORED AT SCHOOL DANCE...AND HULK HATE TUCKING DRESS SHIRT IN PANTS FOR LOUSY DATE

SO HULK RIP DRESS SHIRT OFF..YELL FUCK THIS ( revealing a kyle rayner green lantern shirt btw ) AND HULK WALK HOME ALONE

* cue piano music *

2 weeks ago I went to a friend's birthday party. A friend and I start talking about the NBC late night debacle and getting into how stupid NBC is and what an asshole Leno is, when someone else chimes in from across the room with "Conan should just let Jay have it back. He's not funny anyway." That's all they had to say to us before turning to her boyfriend to say how stupid we are for liking Conan. I nearly went off on her, but at the EXACT same time, from the kitchen I hear the birthday girl's sister exclaim to the room how much she loves all things Twilight-related. Then she said we should all be as excited for the next movie as she is, or else we were stupid.

I almost had an aneurysm. I don't quite remember what I said or how I was gesturing during my rant, but when the white haze went away, everyone at the party was looking at me like I had lost my mind and they were all silent.

Then the Twitard asked if I wanted to sing Newsies karaoke. I left after that.

I'm sure that there have been many moments in my time of employment trying to load big TV's into little cars. You can't fit a 60 inch Mitsubishi DLP into a Honda Civic, it just doesn't work; but none of those are nerd related. No, instead I point you towards Gears of War 2. More specifically, the split screen co-op mode. There is one part where you are both carrying a big ass chest in one hand and the other hand you have your pistol equipped to shoot enemies. The thing is that for some ungodly reason you can't both move at the same time, and you can't move straight either. It's like trying to row a canoe with one oar; you just go around in circles. The friend I was playing with and myself had gone through some hard times but I had never wanted to injure him more in my life. It's a wonder that I didn't commit murder at that point of the game.

A few weeks ago, I was doing laundry at my apartment building when I found myself short on quarters (a dollars worth). Luckly I live next to a high palutin' athletic Club. Figuring such an establishment would be swimming in change, I entered the Club. I proceed to the pumped-up counter clerk to ask to change my measly dollar for quarters. He first gave me a confused look, and then after a minute or so asked me "Well, are you a member of this Club?" WHAT?!? He probally had the change I needed in his pocket! I didn't even reply because the reply would have been ugly and he was way bigger than me. So I had to walked a few blocks to the nearest store. If I had Hulk power, the world would be one Club smaller.

i shall try to keep it short, my friends invited me to a game of shadowrun not the video game the actual pen and paper game, after sikeing me up about how "you can do anything in this game" and how i can make "my dream character" i decided to play so after reading the book and rule and all that shit we started i had a nice merc with some badass weapons and great agility skill hell i could fire a one hand pistol for 14 die throw so after some difficult runs we did a simple run, get the package drop it off to point a to point b get the nuyen all that jazz so we get to the drop off point and since i had the most speech skill i was talking to the mr. johnson well in mid sentence my two friends decide to surprise attack me hindering all my skills and killed me, stole all my shit took my share of the payment, and if u ever played shadowrun my character is dead permanently...yea last time i wanted to hulk out hardcore

When I heard Ugly Betty was cancelled I grabbed my handbag and hulked out on the nearest person.

Did you see Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li? No, I know you didn't. You look like a smart guy/girl. I, on the other hand, did.

See, I spent a WHOLE YEAR arguing that the movie could be less than terrible. I could have seen Watchmen, but I HAD to see Chun Li, so I could put my money where my mouth is.

So, at midday, me, a horny couple, and an old lady braved it.

So, Chun Li is being chased by Vega, right? I wanted to know how they would aproach it, since Vega is pretty and vain and Taboo...well, he's the least pretty member of the BEP. How would they handle it?

Chun Li unmasks him, comments on how ugly he is, and beats him up like a redheaded stepchild. It was then and there that I realized that it there would be no debate about the movie's redeemable parts. ARE YOU FRIGGIN SERIOUS, YOU COULD HAVE DOWNPLAYED THAT!

You win, internet cynism! You win.

This actually happened this week. I was on the computer getting ready to go online and I found out that my live in girlfriend was looking for places to live....WITHOUT ME! Apparently, she's been thinking about this for a couple of weeks and have been looking at places behind my back. I was furious needless to say. Completely without warning and I so wanted to SMASH!!! The geek part comes in where she said that she was looking for a place where she didn't have to worry about storing all of my comics!

If there's one thing on this earth that I can guarantee will cause me mental anguish and make me want to go out and tear up as much shit as I can before the police take me down, its that last fucking fight against Seth in Street Fighter 4. Seriously, by the time he hits me from the other side of the arena for the 40th time in a row all I need is some green paint and then I'm ready to go!

When I get HULK MAD it's usually at horrible "my anger could cause my boyfriend his job or mine" times.
The last time I got so mad that's worth telling about (ie. HULK SMASH-mad) was at my boyfriend's Christmas Party.
Without divulging too much info (though it doesn't matter because he doesn't work there anymore... Oops) his bosses are super religious.
And by "super religious," I mean "worse than snake wranglers and Scientologists." Think... "Way of the Master" type of super religious.
They impose their religion on their staff. I swore once picking him up from work, and I was told "[they] were going to pray my soul doesn't go to the fiery inferno and that I do not worship the undying Lucifer," and then I shit you not- they proceeded to speak in TONGUES. AT WORK. TO A TOTAL STRANGER.
Well, they have said that their son is mentally handicapped (though I don't believe it). At the Christmas Party, which was super "Jesus wants to live inside you, Kayla, why won't you let him in?" their son(10) is walking around like he's King Shit of the Dung Heap. He's crass, out right rude, and spoiled. Doing the Yankee Swap of presents, he stood up and yelled "PUT THAT BACK, THAT'S MY STEREO YOU BITCH" to my boyfriend. Now, my hunny is not the one to yell at boss's sons. But I am.
You don't need specifics as to the yelling match between myself, the bosses, and a 10yo (all crying because I've lost it) but it involves me mocking them yelling in tongues, yelling about my religion (Wiccan, to which they almost exploded) and how they made excuses and lied about their son being handicapped when he's fully able to do absolutely everything I can do and that if they didn't coddle him or homeschool him he might have some "fuckdamnshitting manners from you cunts."

Yeah... boyfriend doesn't work there anymore... But he was happy about that.

the last time i came close to hulking out was at work when this one lady who gives new meaing to paris hilton iq came in looking for some silverware for some kids for lunch and said are these clean . when they had just come out of the dishwasher i almost wanted to yell at her no we carry the dirty stuff around from there. plus the same lady also then asked if the reboot spider man movie would be a musical.

One More Day made me entertain serious fantasies about going down to Marvel HQ and forcing Joe Q at gunpoint to retcon that piece of shit.

I was watching Star Wars episode IV, and Han was talking to Greedo, then, suddenly, out of nowhere, GREEDO SHOT FIRST.

The time i wanted to hulk out was in NOvember of 2006...It was to be Sonic the hedgehog's valiant return to video games i being a lifelong Sonic a high hopes and i was on every update of the game like white on rice...when i finally bought the game i raced home to pop into my Xbox....needless to say hours later i was more than disappointed...I was fucking furious how could Sega ans Sonic team do this to me and to Sonic...how can you fuck something up that bad all they had to do was make a hedgehog run fast thru some loops ...but instead they have you fall to endless deaths and have intimate relationships with humans....Fuck you Sonic Team

I nearly threatened a sitting US senator because of the price of an action figure.

I walked into Wal-mart wednesday evening looking for Wave 11 of DC universe, because that's what I do on wednesday evenings.
I don't have much. My life ain't picturesque, but all in all, I handle it pretty well. That is until I saw that Mattel's DC universe classics have increased in price $2 overnight, for a net yearly increase in cost of 4$.
January of 2009 these were 10.99
January of 2010 they're 14.97. Do you know what they pay Ling Po the chinese slave boy to make these? Not enough to charge 10.99 much less $15. I can't just stop buying them, because I own more than 61.8% of the current line. No, they have me by the balls.

You know that scene in Total recall where quaid gets thrown onto the martian surface and his eyes bug out like rodney dangerfield? That what what was happening to me. On the inside. My teeth clenched, screeching. My digestion halted. I was a seething ball of impotence,
I walked out sputtering slightly, little droppings of fury I got into my car, and that's when I started shouting to myself as I ripped my hat off. Red faced, tunnel vision, that thing where you see spots on your eyes because you're exhaling faster than you can take in oxygen. I shook like Michael J Fox after too many espressos. I unleashed a surprisingly coherent litany of profanity, seething at the fall of the dollar due to overspending and the eventual rise in treasury coupons.

It isn't right, in this country, that action figures should be so fricking expensive. Health insurance and tax reform be damned, if a man can't buy a reasonably priced Barry Allen Flash, you've lost your base. You've lost the American people.
senator I will not name, stopping short of an idiotic furtive threat to 'hit the Democratic party with an Omega Sanction'.

I know, now, how impotent my rage is, how ridiculous it is to attribute a 5$ increase in action figure prices to party policy and a declining dollar. I know objectively it involves large things like a trade deficit with China, DC's license being incredibly expensive, as well as Mattel being jerkbags (And if I could make a manifestation of Mattel in human form, that is a physical representation of the company, I would stab it's eyes out and tongue kiss it at the same time). But if my nerd rage makes toys cheaper, the world is a better place.

This is a dream I had:

I was underwater Hogwarts, which is like Hogwarts only, to get to it, you have to travel under the ocean. There was a string of mysterious deaths that Harry and the gang had gotten to the bottom of: Butterfly hair clips and chip bag clips were actually becoming sentient as they traveled from the Muggle world to underwater Hogwarts. Of course, Voldemort was behind it. Everyone's gearing up for an epic wizard war when I jump up and go, "Wait! Guys, I have to go get my cat!"

"You can put him in my locker," offers Harry.

"I don't think so, Harry Potter," I snap, "I'm putting him in *Ron's* locker, because *nobody* cares about Ron." I do so. The battle breaks out and there are plastic clips flying everywhere, gouging people's eyes out and lightning and wizard beams. I remember just being incredulous, standing there doing and saying to no one in particular "This shit is fucked up."

Voldemort retreats and all the British children rejoice. I rush back to Ron's locker only to find it's thrown wide open and papers are strewn everywhere. My cat is nowhere to be found.

I drop to my knees right there, throw my fists at the sky and shout up to the heavens, "DAMN YOU, VOLDEMORT!"

I woke up with a jolt, ready to punch someone. Probably Ron.

The last time I felt like hulking out was when I recently went to get Dragon Age:Origins from Gamestop. I waited while the three douches behind the counter played around with each other and pretended to have important things to do. I waited patiently, for nigh on ten minutes. When at last, one of these bags of sick deigned offer me their attention, I could already feel the twitch in my right eyelid. So I spoke first:
- Come here!
- Can I help you?
- I don't know. Can you? Can you give me back the last ten minutes of my life?
- Wha...
- Can you stop touching each other back there and pay attention to customers?
By this point my voice was slightly raised, the three or four other customers were starting to look at me, and my kid brother, over by the ps3 games, was trying not to laugh too loudly.
- Listen, sir...
- You listen, you cockmongering waste of air. Leave my sight! Begone! And send your manager to me!
Now the manager happened to be the girl(a little fat, I must admit, but still somewhat fetching) I had planned to hook up with, in my quest for unlimited videogame access. I got my game while the rest of the store watched on in silence, apart from my brother's whistling at the demo kiosk, smiled to the girl, said "Thank you", and left.
Of note: I was happy I hadn't lost it but I felt a little shame, but that was only because, as my brother couldn't wait to remind me, I pride myself in having e very even temper.
Also, I haven't yet gotten the Gamestop manager, but I just LOVE the look in some people's eyes when a big, angry, black guy takes off his glasses and says "come here!"

whenever i see a TR contest and read through all the comments only to read one 2 from the bottom that is too similar for me to post mine. RHAGRRAHHH!

Mine isn't so much about me as it is about my two year old Logan.

So he likes super heroes and all the regular boy stuff, some thing usually reserved for the older set... like PowPows(nerf guns).

But lately he's been running around saying in his widdle two year old way "Im Super Hewo!" which usually invloves throwing up his arms, hands balled into little fists and then either running around like he's flying or hitting someone with a mallet (he might think he's Thor?)

But the best was out of the blue, while eating dinner he balls up his fists in front of him, curls his arms and back like he's flexing, bares his teeth and starts shaking and saying "GRRRRRRRRRR"

My nerdy son, Logan, friends... learned to Hulk out on his own, likely from watching Super Hero Squad. W00T11!!!!1!one!

He now does it all the time, knowing it will make me laugh. And if I try and join in he walks over, swipes at me and says "NO! I do it!"

Dr. Chris Willett. Physician. Scientist. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry. And now, when David Banner grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The creature is driven by rage, and hates that Loud Ferrigno charged him 20 dollars for an autograph and a photograph.

Recently while at the Phoenix ComicCon, I met Lou Ferrigno. He was there! Granted I'd never watched the 70s TV show but I feel it goes without saying that it's still an influential body of work. When I asked if I could get my picture taken with him, Ferrigno's aid told me that Mr. Ferrigno would love to take a picture with me if I'll buy a 20 dollar autograph. "What!" I exclaimed! What robbery!

I felt hot, sweat coated my body, it felt like every muscle and joint in my body had caught fire! I grabbed Lou Ferrigno by the shirt and he peered into my now green eyes and he knew fear. My clothes began to rip, my muscles bulged and I became the beast!

Ferrigno signed my autograph and took a picture with me and I chose to spare his puny life. He was lucky... this time.

I know you said I should keep it nerd related, but in all honesty, its hard to take nerd rage seriously.


Last weekend, after being denied approval for a visa renewal twice at a hefty cost of money each time, my girlfriend was forced to leave the country on a bloody technicality. She had been given only a week to do so. It broke her heart because she loves living here and she loves being with me. I stayed strong enough for her and me both; I told her not to worry. Things will be okay. I told her she could re-apply when she arrives in her country and that I'd help her in any way I could. In the meantime, I have to stay where I am because my career is here and I'm not in a position to just up and relocate my entire life to another country... like she just had to in under a week.


As I watched her disappear behind the terminal gates at the airport, all the anger, sadness and frustration I had pushed aside over the last week came to a head and all I wanted to do was smash everything: The airport, the cars, the roads, the planes, everything.


I came home and looked at all the things she left behind at my place because she didn't have enough time to pack nor room in her luggage to bring it back with her. I wanted to destroy my own apartment, my building, my city block and leave a giant crater of destruction in my wake. I screamed and roared in my living room until my throat was raw.


That night, after her plane had landed and she was home again with her family, I spoke with her on Skype and finally admitted how I really felt. I'd been her rock for over a week but I'd been so angry that day I just couldn't hide it anymore. Being the geek that I am, I actually said to her during the course of our conversation: "All I want to do is Hulk Out on everything."


To which she said: "No, bebé. Eres mi Superman. Superman no haría eso." This is why she's awesome.


People might think its kind of cheap of me to use this story for a contest, but to tell you the truth, that's not why I'm writing this. In fact, since I'm not American, I'm probably not eligible for this prize anyway. I'm writing this because... well... you asked your question. And... I don't know... Reading your question, all this came bubbling up and I just really wanted to share my story. If anyone else has ever had to go through or is going through something like this: Don't give up. It may look bleak, but there's always hope. My girl and I are working together now and we're staying optimistic. There is light at the end of the tunnel, we just have to fight for it.


Thanks for asking, TR. Thanks for reading, all.

July 23, 2009. You see, this past summer I was supposed to be in Germany for five weeks. It was going to be great. I'd been awarded a 1000 Euro scholarship to study the language in a beautiful medieval town.

But my passport never came. Months passed between when I applied and when I was supposed to to leave. I took multiple trips to the passport agency in DC. Nobody could help me. I was well fucked.

To help stave off depression I spent some quality time escaping into nerd media. Season 4.5 of BSG came out on DVD during my "I'm not even supposed to be on this goddamned continent right now" funk and I was at my local mom n' pop (the kind that puts things on the shelves before their proper release dates) as soon as I heard that it was in. I'd been scrupulously avoiding spoilers so that the show's climax and resolution wouldn't be ruined for me.

Of course I'd heard that that the show went out on a bad note, but I held out hope. Maybe *I'd* like it. Maybe the people who hated it were just giving in to the dogpile effect. Maybe everyone was misinterpreting Ronald D. Moore's intent. Nevermind that some of the people who warned me were close friends whose opinions I respect.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Kara Thrace was some sort of angel? Baltar and Caprica Six's respective hallucinations of one another were not just some sort but actual angels? This entire show was about God? Not just a god, but the capital G God of Abraham?

I Hulked the fuck out. My girlfriend was upstairs while I was marathoning the show and she didn't know what was going on when it all wrapped up. All she knew was that she could hear heavy objects hitting the living room wall and me yelling unintelligible strings of cursewords. It was all too much for me to take. I was livid. Here I was *paying* to have my intelligence insulted by a show I had once held in high regard while I was supposed to be half way across the world *getting paid* to improve my facility with my second language. No! No! A thousand times no!

Fuck you State Department bureaucracy. Fuck you Ronald D. Moore. Fuck you all. Fuck you forever.

I remember I went to the movies to see the Matrix Reloaded. After about and hour of Neo sex, cave raves, and other assorted bullsh** I was bored out of my mind. Finally, finally, we get to the part when Agent Smith is walking up and it looks like something interesting is about to happen...

Then the film turns off..

The film appearantly broke or something like that and they made us all leave the theatre. They told us we could get a pass to see it again later, but it was the one time I didn't hang onto my stub so I couldn't get a pass. At first I wanted to hulk out but then my rage was replaced by a total sense of indifference. Thank you Matrix Reloaded.

Tuesday I went into the local game store where I had pre-ordered and reserved Mass Effect 2. Got there right when the store opens, another guy and I show up at the door at the exact same time, me being in a good mood about the game open the door for the other guy as soon as the register monkey unlocks it for us. The guy walks up to the register in front of me and asks for his reservation of the CE of the game. They give it to him, I walk up and ask for my CE. I was then told that there was a mistake in the shipping and they only got one CE and that they would give me a rain check.

Me actually being a decent human being for once made me not get my copy of the game. I searched all over town and did not find any other copies of the CE. Finally I settle on regular edition and decide to just grab my rain check when it comes in. I put the game in and due to some glitch that was in the game when it shipped the game did not actually save when playing it, so about 3 hours in the game froze (another glitch) I restarted the xbox to find out that all my progress was lost.

I then exploded in a bout of nerd rage not matched since the days of Snape Killed Dumbledor being shouted in the parking lot of barnes and nobles. I swiftly kicked the nearest thing on the floor and put my mighty mugs Darth Reven right into the screen of my TV. Things got a bit blurry after that.

Oh and I went to Wal-Mart after that to price TV's and found a CE of Mass Effect 2.

My 15 year old, anti-nerd, wannabe GQ, super-inflated-ego, no-respect-for-people's-privacy-or-property, punk-ass nephew went into my room, without my permission, and proceeded to manhandle 1) the brand new complete set of the 1967 Spiderman cartoon on DVD my daughter had just bought with her own $$, 2) my brand new, unopened set of Beck Mongolian Chop Squad DVDs, 3) the stack of 4 mangas that had just arrived same day via UPS, and 4) pretty much everything else that was sitting out in my room. And then, THEN, tried to deny doing it. When he realized he couldn't deny it (because he was cold busted by my daughter), he then acted like I was petty and over-reacting because I was furious. "What's the big deal? It's just some retarded cartoons and comic books." AUGH!!!

Oh, how my blood boiled. Furious did not even come close to how I felt after that. I swear, the only reason I didn't turn green is because I was flaming red (because I have suck a redful hair and the pale skin which comes with it). My God, the top of my head is turning hot just remembering it. End of story: I made him cry like the girly-boy he is and then the rest of the household took him to task for the invasion of privacy etc. And for once, no one was stupid enough to suggest I took it too far by making him cry (no physical violence took place, although it took all my self-discipline such that it is).

It's been a while, but I feel I can tell the story now. I know that this is a safe place, and these words will fall upon sympathetic ears:

As a child, the only toys I ever asked for were He-Man. I had to have every last one, and damn it, my collection was nearly complete. Now, being a child, I did not have the willpower to keep them in the original packaging, but I insisted that every one be kept in a collector's case. I played with them everyday, but always took very good care of them.

I finally grew out of my He-Man phase, but kept every single piece of my collection in a dry, cool place. They were a piece of my childhood, and something I thought would be quite valuable one day.

Fast forward to the afternoon I returned home from my first semester away at college. I went to put my bags away in my closet.

Gone.

Closet re-organized. Not a single box (of many) of He-Man remained. Add to it, half of my comic books were gone, and just about every other "kid toy" (as my mother so eloquently put it) had been trashed. Yes, trashed. IN! THE! TRASH!

This is the same story I tell people to prove how much I love my mother. Only the bonds of family were strong enough to hold me back from what I would only have been able to explain to the jury as a wash of red that took over my limbs as I destroyed all that lie before me. Things were smashed. Words were most certainly had. But everyone made it out with their limbs. Just.

This Thursday there was a blizzard in New England and all the roads had iced over. I left to go to my class only to find that the city of Springfield decided not to salt or plow the roads. A ten minute trip and I didn't make it. In the process of bouncing of a telephone pole I apparently did just enough damage to my car to make it not worth fixing and it has to be scrapped. Car still ran but the body damage was what did it in. Oh, and that class I wrecked my car to get to had been canceled and nobody had decided to announce it. The people around me were smart enough to "just don't look at him, don't talk to him, just try and pretend your somewhere else until the crazy man loses that look like he's about to kill us."

When we were young, me and my brother had quite a load of NES and SNES games, aproximately a hundred. I treasured them during all my childhood, as I have severe asthma and was very sick as a child and playing video games was one of the few activities that I could do without risking a crisis. Even in my teenage years, when I had become more healthy and only played with them occasionaly, I was still very fond of them since they gave me most of the best times I had as a child.Then one day, my brother, who had started to act like a total drugged-ass moron spending more money than he earned, needed cash to pay loans to some friends. So he FUCKING SOLD OUR CONSOLES AND GAMES. Super Contra, Contra, ¸Adventure Island 2, Donkey Country 1 to 3, Mega Man 2-4-5-10, Startropic, Mario Bros 1 to 3, Super Mario World, Zelda A Link to the Past, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM GONE FOREVER. I fucking She-Hulked on him that day, and I still do occasionaly when I think about it. Sure, since then I have bought some of the games we had, but this is some thing I'll never forgive him, as a sister and as a nerd. Now I need to go smash something.

I know mine really isn't nerd related, but it just happened so I'm still mad about it.

I am a school teacher and I have various toys in my room (Star Wars, Justice League Unlimited, Nightmare Before Christmas and more). Well I was out sick one day and when I returned I found out one of my students stole my Silent Bob Inaction figure from my desk. I was furious and hulked out teacher style on my classes over my missing figure. The only upside to this is since then the tales of the Hulk-out have kept all my things safe (room now includes a life sized Darth Vader, Lightsaber, and much more).

every friday, each time you ran an FFF.

but those were relatively tame considering what happened when i was relatively young. see, i spend some time studying abroad, and when i finally came home, i was hoping for a nice 2-weeks getaway while packing my stuff up and finally moving out to my own pad. just while i was starting to unwind in my old room, i noticed something was amiss. lessee....gundam figures, check! superhero figures....check! wait...where the HELL ARE ALL MY COMIC BOOKS?!!

a good ten rows of manga and comics. GONE!! naturally, this being my parents' pad, i went to the only culprit i could think of: M.O.M (Meddling Old Machine). she casually responded, "they're collecting dust and a pain to clean up! so i took 'em to the dump and trash them all."

i wept tears of blood, and i SERIOUSLY considered if handing her a HULK SMASH would not be a form of matricide in the eyes of the law. for those of you who wanted to know what the damage was, here the major casualties: The Killing Joke, Batman: Year One, The Dark Knight Returns, Spider-Man comics with stories that MATTERS (Venom Saga, The Kid Who Collects Spider-Man, Gwen & Norman's Death), and TONS of now-never-reprinted manga comics.

needless to say, i moved out faster than i planned, and it was the BEST. DAMN. MOVE. i ever made in my entire nerd life.

HULK GET IPOD TOUCH. HULK'S FINGERS TOO FAT FOR PUNY DEVICE! HULK SMASH!

HULK WATCH IPAD ANNOUNCEMENT WITH INTEREST. HULK TELL BROKER TO BUY STOCK IN APPL! HULK APPLY FOR SDK!

Every time I see Barack Obama on a comic book. HE IS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!! GTFO OUT OF MY FANTASY WORLD, POLITICS!!! THIS IS WHERE I GO TO GET AWAY FROM YOU!! *SMASH*

When I go on TR a few days ago to hope to see some good news after an admittedly shitty day when I see Siege #3 the 'gangsta deadpool' variant. I swear I screamed " AARON SMASH PUNY QUEPHISTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh.... just about every time i've come to this website, and proceed to waste whole minutes of my life (which i'll never get back) reading the pointless drivel posted on it.

I keep giving TR the benefit of the doubt that something will either be entertaining, well stated, interesting, worth reading about, or intelligent. Shame on me for expecting anything, right?

There has rarely been any opportunity to do anything other than shake my head sadly and lose yet a bit more respect for Rob's blithering opinions, every single time.

Which is kind of amazing, since I kinda started out at zero respect to begin with.

This morning, actually. My school paper arrived, in my hands, and I paged through it, slightly bored, as usual.

Until I hit the movie reviews.

Let me preface this by saying I have always disagreed with my paper's movie reviews. The reviewer does not, in fact, review films, but instead writes a summary of the movie and ends it with a smarmy wrap-up sentence. But this time was different. The reviewer in question had given Avatar 5 out of 5 stars.

LOLWUT?

The score itself, however, wasn't what angered me. It was the aforementioned wrap-up sentence. In this case, it was "Nominated for four major awards, the humanitarian message in James Cameron's Avatar will poke holes in even the most closed of minds."

"FUUUUUUUUUUUU!" was my initial response. Humanitarian message? This movie was about KILLING HUMANS. KILLING. THEM. If any holes were poked, it was in the movie's plot! Look, I know that Avatar rage is passé, but that sentence was enough to turn me, a normally nice guy, green.

I'm glad, however, I put the paper down before I ripped the building to shreds. The sports section had a rather nice article about the football team.

As a die-hard fan of Captain America, I stick up for him no matter what. Well one day, when picking up a statue that my g/f got for me as an anniversary gift at a store called SUNCOAST. Some dude cracked shit about me being a Cap fan. Upon knowing he was a Flash fan, and one quick uppercut to the chin, I got my statue, and a banning from my favorite store. It was so worth it.

When my brother wore my Mr. Fantastic shirt as his sweat shirt.

earlier today i was playing "tatsunoko vs. capcom" and couldn't for the life of me get gold lightan to beat yami. After one to many attempts i got so mad that i threw my control at the couch and unfortunately, freaked out my dog.

Ok, so when The Beatles game came out, a Wal-mart near me had a cool Beatles promotional poster on display. I asked the sales lady is it possible that I can get it once the promotion for the game was over and she said she would ask. She said her manager said it was ok just check back in awhile. So I go to this Wal-mart once a week for like 3 months. Finally I get word from a friend that started to work there that it was available and to come in the next morning to pick it up. Needles to say I get there excited to finally get it after 3 months of waiting and it turns out somebody from the night crew took it home the night before... WHAT A WASTE OF TIME!!! DAMN THAT POSTER WAS COOL!!!

One fine sunny day while LARPing...the day came to an end. So, we decided to play human for the night and actually get some rest. Now, we stayed out in cabins out in the woods, so we got all kinds of comfortable and started our trip into dreamland.

Until. There was an event going on that "Mirror People" were pulling players aside and asking them to describe emotions relevant to their respective band of travelers. Apparently we were the funny ones, so our asses were dragged out to a remote cabin and, in the wee hours of the morning, asked to explain humor to a "being with no knowledge of emotions." We tried, oh, we tried. It was around the time that another, one time player thought it would be funny to say we should die that the entire group started to want to Hulk out. It went on for hours, and ended with us groggily heading back to our cabin to get a few hours of sleep. Moral of the Story: WE GET THE JOKE, HA HA, THEY DON'T GET EMOTIONS. But NOBODY is fucking funny that late at night/early in the morning, when forced to be. Not even for the amusement of the game masters.

This is a few years back. We used to have LAN parties in High School, where we would play Unreal Tournament, Diablo II, Warcraft II, shit like that. My senior year we decided to invite some of the foreign exchange students over to play. We are in the middle of a Warcraft II campaign and the Spanish exchange student says, "Hey Rob let's be allies i will move my troops over and help you defend your area." So I though great. Well the fucker gets all of his guys over there and then drops the truce and attacks and kills all of my guys. This is after I have been building stuff for 2 fucking hours.

So I said What the fuck are you doing, he says " Haha I got you, this is how we do things in Spain" or something close to that. Well i put him in a sleeper hold until he passed out and then kicked him the fuck out of the house. No one really ever fucked with me while playing a game since then. I wonder why.

Here goes my tale of rage. Might as well give it a shot, right?

About six years ago, I was dating a girl. A geek girl. She got me into cosplaying and invited me to my first convention. She convinced me to organize a group to go down to Otakon, so I booked the hotel rooms, got the group tickets and bent over backwards to get the trip going. It was about 16 people, mostly from our college anime club. Everyone was supposed to pay me back for the hotel before the trip, but a few of her closest friends hadn't, but I didn't worry since I thought I could trust them.

Well, I got dumped at the con, found out she had been cheating on me for months, she had kept up the facade so that she could have my mom make her a costume, and so that she wouldn't have to front any money for the trip. She also convinced me to do a costume I would have gotten ridiculed in, had I ended up wearing it (a tubby guy doing Johnny from Guilty Gear? Not a good idea . . . ) Her and her friends spent the entire weekend making fun of me and trying to make me snap. I ignored, for the most part.

Until the last night in the hotel. Her and her friends were in one room, I was in another with people I didn't know. There were 14 places to sleep between 16 people, so 2 people had been sleeping on the floor. One of her friends came into my room the last night to tell me that they had voted and I was going to sleep on the floor so the others could have my bed. I explained that I had fronted the money for the hotel, as well as the extra money because of how many people we had staying in each room. That didn't go over well, so they spent a good hour trying to get me out of bed. Finally, they sent in the jackass I had been dumped for. He told me that he wanted me to leave the hotel (that I had paid for) and walk three blocks to sleep in one of the cars because I was "causing trouble." And then threatened me.

Long story short, I got up, considered throwing him through the sixth story window, thought better of it and gave him the most terrifying glare I have ever given anyone, cracked my knuckles, and he ran. The only way it would have been better is if I had purple pants on and made some quip about not liking me when I was angry, because that was seriously the most I wanted to smash someone in my life . . .

Not nerd-related, but enough to guarantee that most of the under-65 population will want to Hulk out--

Getting stuck in line behind old people buying lottery tickets.

My wife and I were watching Big Bang Theory with her sister one evening and it got to a scene where Raj is trying to bribe Sheldon with a pair of Hulk hands signed by Stan Lee, and my wife and sister-in-law, in unison, ask, "Who's Stanley?" I was never more embarassed to be related to them.

Last night, as it so happens. I was running the Obstacle Course on Wii Fit Plus, and kept failing near the end. Having successfully completed the course before only further enraged me that I could not do it again, and had been consistently failing over the past week.

I was so determined to do it last night, and finally did. But it took me about 5 tries and running around 2,500 meters. Sadly, it only recorded about 500 of those, as I kept resetting the game each time my time would start to run out before I could finish.

That was my own fault.

I wanted to hurl the Wii Remote, and maybe even pick up the Wii Balance Board and throw it through the HD set, but fortunately, I was too worn out from running and jumping over two and a half clicks. x_X

When I was looking to pick up New Super Mario Brothers Wii. I went to the two specialty stores near my place, they didn't have it so whatever it's not like I went very far, 10-15 min walk tops to the farthest one. So I go to the next closest store, like a 15-20min bus ride away. They actually had it though there was no price tag on it, which probably should have clued me in but I was happy that I'd found it. Well when I went to pay they told me that no they didn't actually have it in stock, they just had the boxes up for 'promotional purposes', so that was annoying. After checking four or five other stores I finally found one that had boxes! And those boxes had prices on them! Sweet!

So after standing in line for like ten minutes my turn comes up and they don't actually have it, the boxes are just there for 'promotional purposes'. Man I was so pissed. I didn't blow up at the clerk though, it wasn't his fault and I've learned to control my anger after gaming for years with a guy who just really really irritates the crap out of me. That's a very long story and best not started on.

Very next store I went to was Zellers, and while wandering around trying to find the craft section to buy some knitting needles (and they had everything but the size I needed in stock) I came to the electronics section and lo an behold there it was.

This past year was the first time I experienced the majesty that is the Venture Bros. I was so infatuated with the series that I watched every single episode up to date in less than a month, purchased all the seasons on DVD and bought the Dr. Killinger tie with tie tack (which unfortunately I was forbidden from wearing at my cousin's wedding D= )

So I decided that I wanted to be a VB character for Halloween. I'm a bit of a stocky guy, so that automatically ruled out about 90% of the characters. That left me with 21 and Sgt Hatred, I figured since my dad and brother are both in the employ of the Army, it'd be easier to go as Sgt Hatred.

Once It was settled who I dressing up as, I had to decide where to go. I pretty much had two options that were relatively close and I knew a lot of people at both places, James Madison University or Virginia Commonwealth University. I picked JMU, boy, did I choose wrong.

Apparently Harrisonburg (JMU) is a vast void of nerdlessness. No one knew who I was. Not only that, no one had even heard of VB! I was fuming, the only way to resolve this situation? To Hulk out! aka getting mind shittingly drunk so you don't remember anything just like the Hulk...

When I found out that John from Days of our Lives after years of wondering who he really was after Stefano erased his memeory he found out that he was a preacher just in time for Marlena (his love, but married to another guy) is possesed by the devil. I spent 3 years in college watching that drivel only to find that out... I went balistic in class one day while taling about Days and the Prof just looked at me and said "that is the most worked up I have ever seen you about anything..."

The following is not a political nor religious statement of any kind, nor does it reflect my personal views on any point concerning said religion or politics. It follows logic. You remember logic? Yeah, it's that little fuzzy thing that most people don't pay attention to. No, not that fuzzy thing; that's a Tribble.

I was in my ethics class, and it was a rather heated class anyways. Lots of fun, opposing sides, a teacher with dreads who smoked pot. The whole 9 yards. Anyways, we were "discussing" abortion (Don't say that, TM2! [Shut up, this is my flash back, get your own!]) People were in every camp you can think of: It's wrong, it's not wrong, it's wrong only in certain cases, we need to kill all women and clone ourselves. Yeah, it was nuts. I made the following, logical, point. It depends when live begins. if life begins at the moment of conception, as a lot of Christians claim, than yes, it's wrong. If life does not begin until some unspecified point later, then up till that point, it isn't wrong. Simple, right? You'd have thought I'd pulled out a gun and just started shooting. Everyone on every side began attacking me, saying everything you can imagine and some things you can't. Apparently my logical point made people very unhappy. I tried defending myself but people wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise.

Now, here's where the Hulking-out part comes in. I'd had enough, and said "You're. Not. LISTENING!" and smashed the 8' folding table. With my hands. It went "crack" and broke. We had to get a new table. Because people had made me mad enough that I broke it.

I garnered immediate silence and a new respect (read: fear) in that class from then til the end of the semester. I think I have a green tint to my skin now. :/

And still no one likes my very logical point. Huh.

Let me introduce you to a game. A game where the creator's intent was to create a vast army of Hulks that would spawn at any given moment on any given map for the sole purpose of turning all of its players, male and female, into grizzly mountain-men. Where not only the bosses would give you the finger as they raped your ass with magic and dickery, the occasional player would come along and say, "I am Cherybim, Lord of Exploding Asses!" and rightfully rob you of any chance to level up, and then disappear. A game whose map was designed to kill you just by taking a stroll down the lane only to be torched by a fuckin' dragon. I, of course, am referring to the game known as Demons' Souls.

I can go on and on about the moments where my character's innocence was raped, sent back to the Nexus (Purgatory with shops basically), and then to go back to the map to have my soul-form raped again. Getting poisoned in a lake filled with gigantic blood-sucking mosquitos, for example. Or working up to 500,000 souls only to get horribly mauled by a horde of gigantic slugs. Or finding out that the guy off in the distance that looks to be small is actually over 15 feet tall and is more than happy to flatten your ass. (All 3 of those in the same world, btw).In fact, I can't even pick a moment where I was the angriest and wanted to Hulk smash my TV into the wall and then sacrifice the remaining pieces to an Aztec God to everything unholy so I could gain my life back, only to pick up the controller and try again out of shear spite. But if I must, I shall let you know of the worst experience I had with the game.

It was Halloween. Now on Halloween, the game had an event where all the monster levels would be at their highest difficulty (as indicated by red eyes and red aura). I was on world 4, which is an shrine to a sky-ray God that also has skeletons walking around. So I'm killing things and having a hell of a time doing it, getting speared from sky rays in the back and generally hating my life for trying to play this game on Halloweeen. I get to this one section where there are two Assassin-like Shadows that'll giggle like a girl and then shank your ass in the back for 3/4 of your health. I get past them ok, then I move onto a narrow path cliff-side with two Red-Eyed, Red-Aura skeletons with Fullblades. I take them one at a time and nearly died with both of them, but I managed to kill them. So with my soul collection up to a grand total of 654,230, the highest I had gotten to at the time, I walk on the path, dodging flying spikes from more sky-rays and my camera angle was so that I couldn't see who was around the corner. So I run headlong into a skeleton wielding two long-ass katanas who was Red-eyed, and Red-Aura who did a scissors swipe attack, and OTK'd my then-weeping ass into the Nexus. I was so pissed, I refused to touch the game for 2 months.

So if you want to play Demons' Souls, remember this kids: do not expect to play Demons' Souls without walking away scarred for life. It will rape your innocence, force you to grow mutton-chops and then send you off to fight in 'Nam to get a raging STD from an Asian hooker. Why? Because fuck you, that's why.

Oh, this is a good one.

Disgaea.

Oh, dude, really... I have to relive this...

Almost 200 hours on the PSP version. I had around 80 on the PS2 version, but never did any of the bonus stuff, so I'm counting everything in total to be about 250-300 hours of gameplay.

Now, all the bonus dungeons and side bosses and stuff... I had a good majority of that left to do.

Know what happens?

Cousin wipes my save data.

OH MY GOD

ID NEED ANOTHER 180 HOURS TO GET TO THE POINT I WAS AT, IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD JUST START A NEW GAME AND GO PLAY THE SIDE MISSIONS.

AGH, ARRRRRGHHHHHHH, FUUUUUUDGE

IT MADE ME SO ANGRY AND I'M ANGRY AGAIN AND RAGE

First off, I'm in Burma(Myanmar), and everything is banned here. I'm a big video game/anime/movie fan and everything is banned for no fucking apparent reason, everything by means, toplessrobot, blogspot, youtube and fucking animepaper.net where I can download totally SFW moe girl pictures. AND YES THEY ARE ALL BANNED HERE BY OUR ONE AND ONLY ISP.

So, here I am, reading topless robot and nerdy sites every day by using proxy websites like vtunnel while the connection is so slow and posting comments take lots of time. Also, I can't watch the youtube videos that you'd posted. (I can still use some software to overcome the ban but It'd still a hour or two to wait a 10 mins video to load). I'd been a TR fan ever since the Star Wars drinking game post but I also want to see the Storm Troopers dancing para para dammit.

So, EVERY TIME YOU POST A NERDY AND AWESOME YOUTUBE VIDEOS THAT I CAN'T WATCH, IT MAKES ME GO HULK OUT!

I was at my local comic shop. It was around 9pm on a Weds(NEW COMIC BOOK DAY!!!) so near closing time. When these two guys and one of the guys two kids come in. About 10 seconds after they come in the father of the two kids just starts preaching about who kids suck, and how his kids suck. This is making everyone in the store fill ackward, so people start to leace. I've yet to find my newest issue of the Dreamwave version of the Transforemrs so I was stuck.
While picking up a comic here or there I can see his two kids are bored and this point are running around the store, and picking up comics. They come over to me and to be nice I pick up an issue of Spider-man and about to tell these young kids about the greatness of Spider-man to help myself and them ignore theier Dbag of a father still talking about how he wished he used a condom. The father puts his arm on me, looks me straght in the eye and tells me never to have kids.
1. I don't like being grabbed by anyone.
2. I don't like being told what to do. Most importany guys who look like larry the cable guy telling me what to do.
I just wanted to smash this dead beat dead, who belittles his kids, in a place that should be fun for them. This guy should never have been a father.

Of course if I had saved these two kids from this scum, I would have had my own pair of Rick Jones.

I was dating that most elusive of prey: A Nerd Girl TOTALLY out of my league whose father owned one of the local comic books stores. It was heaven. We would go on dates to see a Monty Python movie marathon or sit in her dorm room and watch and mock the Tremors series of movies. All was going well until she met one of my roommate who was 2-3x the geek I was (wore his Starfleet uniform every Friday to class). She dumped me because I wasn't geeky enough for her and started dating him. They went out for a month or so and then he dumped her cause he was still pining over an ex. If I could have Hulked out, I would have definitely smashed his head in but I did the next best thing and chased him around the dorm w/ a baseball bat till we both collapsed from exhaustion (I didn't say either of use were athletic).

My buddy has a new girlfriend and she's desperately trying to fit in. We're big comic/horror movie buffs and she is far from it. I've never dated a nerdy girl or a girl that wanted anything to do with my nerdiness so I've never had a female intruder. Now she's the kind of "fit in" girl where she pretends like she knows what she's talking about, which is important to why I wanted to turn green and crush her puny head. We were watching Return of the Living Dead, one of the great 80's horror comedies, and she says she prefers old school horror. I was intrigued because she never struck me as a horror buff but I had to probe her a little. I started talking about Bela Lugosi, the Hammer films and Hitchcock, and I could tell I lost her. She then says "Bella isn't a vampire". My buddy had to whisk her away because I was foaming at the mouth. Turns out "old school" is Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers. I had to explain that those are new classics and not fucking old school. When she said that "Bella/Bela" line, I wanted to twist her head off and throw it into space.

i smash ps2 remotes at the tv screen, very sore loser. it's an old tv with thick glass, so it takes the abuse pretty well, and i'm surprised i've never gouged my hands, as i don't throw them, but fist them. i've never done it in front of others; it's embarrassing enuf to admit anonymously.

the last time was with God of War where Kratos has to kill a bunch of sirens before the floor drops. i probly played it a hundred times before getting it right.

Well, I guess this one kind of counts...

See, we use to have a D20 Star Wars group. The campaign was set in the newer Legacy era, and was based around our group being Imperial Knights (Kind of like a neutral Jedi for the more goodly Fel Empire, which is locked in a war with the Sith Empire. Google it). Well, this one player we had insisted on being difficult. I was a Farghul, two other players were human, and one was Trandoshan, but we were all knights in accordance with the campaign idea. But he insisted on NOT being a part of the empire OR an Imperial Knight.

Needless to say we were kind of stumped as how to incorporate this dude in, but we made it work through some kind of GM B.S...free contractor, blahblahblah. But naturally, the mercenary is NOT going to be in command when there are four warriors who are - in the command structure - right below the Emperor. For some reason he didn't like this very much, even though he picked it.

After being so severe and bored for so long, our GM tries to throw him a bone. Since he doesn't participate unless prompted and is loathe to do ANYTHING having to do with the Empire in an Imperial campaign (lolwut?)the GM comes up with an old nemesis for him - a Bith smuggler who had stolen his previous girlfriend, or something along those lines. It was a lame little story, but this wasn't an easy task. This guy's character got wind that his rival was hanging out on Nar Shadaa while we were all on a mission on Nal Hutta. So off the dude runs to get revenge on this Bith who stole his girlie years ago. The only one near him when he leaves fails a perception check, so off he goes. Doesn't tell any of us.

This - of COURSE - splits the party drastically. While the rest of us sit around, the DM is forced to tend to the one PC who ran off on his own to another planet. Long story short he gets info on where this dude is living, and goes to his door. And tries to blast it down.

By this point we've been sitting around for an hour or so. Any of you roleplayers know how boring it can be when one player steals all a DM or GM's attention. SO he tries to blast the door, and fails. Doesn't affect it. He shoots it over and over, and it doesn't work. This whole time he continues more or less accusing the GM - my husband, mind you - of making it impossible so he HAD to go back and get our help. GM is seething with rage inwardly for being accused of railroading, so he says "Sure, you're looking for an ammunitions dealer? There's a Gungan down the street with a booth." He sells him all KINDS of explosives, and none of them work on the door either.

So again, he more or less says the DM must be wanting him to get us. As I sat there with my head in my hands, slumped over the table, I wanted to reach out and grab his shirt collar, and shake him furiously. WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY BLOWING UP THE WALL? OR GOING THROUGH THE ROOF? OR THE SEWER? OR A FREAKING AIR VENT?! WHY'D YOU RUN OFF ON YOUR OWN AND LEAVE US ALL WITH NOTHING TO DO ALL NIGHT, ONLY TO BITCH ABOUT IT?! WHY ARE YOU SO CAREFUL NOT TO LET US BE INVOLVED??

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...?

Of course, being a passive aggressive gamer, I never said that. By the way, the door?

Magnetically sealed! Gee, that's a shocker.

GRAAAAAAAH!

Not the most recent time, but the most painful.

I was at a leadership retreat (I know, it's my own darn fault, but I was a bright-eyed undergrad) a few years back. As one of the many team-building exercises, we did one of those "prioritize the 20 objects you would bring to survive in the desert" exercises, or maybe it was on the moon, or in the jungle. Not important. We prioritized things like knives and a plastic bottle and matches for which would be the most useful.

Each person individually made their priority list of 1-20, then we were put in groups to collectively decide on lists of 1-20. Our answers were then compared to those of some survivalist experts.

The comparison went as follows: Our individual lists were compared to those of the experts, and the differences of each item was tallied (e.g. if I put matches in spot 15 and they belonged at 12, that assessed a score of 3). This was our base value, which was subtracted from an arbitrary perfect value (say, 200) to get our score.

Then we did a calculation with the group scores, which went differently for some reason. We calculated the sum of our misses, determined how much that differed from perfect, and added the two values together.

Lo and behold, our group scores were ALL better than our individual scores. The moderator, proudly beaming, declared, "See?? Teamwork works! I don't know how, but it always works out this way, every time we do it! The team scores are always better than the individual scores!"

Being the one person in the room who had just completed 3rd semester Calculus (or basic arithmetic, it would seem), I immediately saw WHY the team scores were better. Not just better, but perfect. a + (200 - a) will ALWAYS yield 200, whether you gather the opinions of a panel of quantum physicists or a box of rocks.

"a + (200 - a) = 200, therefore TEAMWORK IS AWESOME!" is not something I find acceptable, so I immediately brought this crime against mathematics to the moderator's attention. She would have none of it, even whet I broke it down and went through it step by step. "This is how I've always done it, and it's always worked like this in the past!" I shuddered at the thought that years of leadership retreat participants could not do basic math.

We went at it for about 10 minutes in a relatively civil manner. Of the 40 people in the room, maybe 2 suspected that the math was indeed fishy, with the others just giving me a look like I was being an uppity holier-than-thou engineering student, and it was close enough and demonstrated teamwork so why was I so upset?

BECAUSE YOU JUST @#$% SAID "200 = 200 THEREFORE TEAMWORK WORKS!!" HOLY FRICKIN CRAP, PEOPLE!

I'd say we agreed to disagree, but that didn't happen. I was prepared to hold my ground for the next 4 days of bunk beds and awful food if necessary, but it quickly became time to do something else, so the issue was dropped. If it came up again, I was (and still am) 100% ready to throw down.

All the current work of Jeph Loeb at Marvel makes me want to hulk-out. Ultimates 3 and Ultimatum? Ruined a perfectly good universe. Rulk? Would have been fun in a All Star Batman and Robin sort of way if it was it's own independent thing. But perhaps worst of all is the total bastardization of the Mini Marvels. Audrey Loeb is no Chris Giarrusso, and she wouldn't have an in if her dad wasn't on the title. "Hulk Splash" is no "Illuminators /Shot me into outer space/ Now I will smash them." That was a haiku, chumps!

SMASH PUNY ROUTER AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

It's right now! All I want to do is chop some demons to bits in Darksiders but my girlfriend's stupid friend is visiting for the weekend and thinks we should watch some terrible movie about kids who solve mysteries because someone she knows was an extra in it. If she doesn't go to bed soon I'm gonna get angry. And I don't even need to tell you how much you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

I had just moved from my apartment in Cleveland, Ohio to a condo 20 miles east. During the move my girlfriend left a door open and my dog got loose and into a fight with another dog. I talked to the owner and everything let her know I would pay vet bills etc. but the next day at work I got a call from the police. The owner of the other dog had me charged with a 2nd degree misdemeanor. I was sent home early to sort out the situation.

So I am at home trying to get a hold of this cop and my phone just won't work. And not being able to deal with the situation or get the phone to work I just got more and more worked up to the point that I needed to punch something.

But my options things to punch was limited to the dog, phone, or computer. And since I wasn't willing to punch any of those things, I did what any irrational person would do I punched myself in the face.

I came to about 3 minutes later with a massive knob on my forehead. In hindsight, I will punched a hole in the wall.

I use to work in a High School Kitchen.

So, I'm managing a comic book store in Florida. A customer asks to see a book on the top shelf, Hulk #181, little pricey gem but I take the step stool, pick it up and on the way down, I slip hit the door on a showcase cabinet and dent it it...

2 minutes later, I try to open the door, it's stuck... wont open either side. A couple of regulars start heckling me as I try to pick up the glass top and I lose it. I jump over the counter and get in both their faces yelling at the top of my lungs & raging out "If you're not gonna help me, I suggest we all step out and fix the issue".

The whole store stopped, almost everyone left the store but I did sell the 181 :)

My girlfriend & I finally went on our long-planned holiday last July. A few days in my old hometown London, then off to the US and Canada for 4 weeks. Between London and Montreal, we had managed a 2 day stop in Paris, which I had only agreed to because I'm obsessed with the catacombs and was dying to explore them. So we spend the 1st evening watching The Mars Volta, and enjoying the food. The next morning we took in the sights, despite the 40 degree weather, and eventually decided to make our way to the catacombs. After 2 hours walking and sweating and dragging our backpacks around, we arrive, only to be told by a very rude and unhelpful (shock! horror!) woman that 'the catacombs are not open today'. Despite NO MENTION of this on their website, or any of the tourist information we had acquired prior to and during our time in Paris. I was stunned, heartbroken and absolutely enraged. All the best ingredients to make me want to Hulk the fuck out and rip the Eiffel Tower out and dig our way to the catacombs myself. The specific reason I came to your city and now YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME IN TO SEE IT?!?! GRRRRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Also, Paris was the only place I was unable to find a single comic shop. London, Montreal, NY, Boston, Calgary, San Francisco... leave it to France to be the one place that didn't help me maintain my addiction!

Ok, I am almost ashamed to admit this but I will because I need to let the rage out. It all started while I was playing Sims 2, I was playing this last week just for a frame of reference. I decided that I wanted to make the character that represented me a vampire. to do this I used the "boolProp TestingCheatsEnabled true" cheat in order to choose just what my girl would become. This was the first time the cheat had worked and I made her a vampire, unaware that being a vampire would drastically decrease her motives, this was also several days before I learned the "maxMotives" cheat. Anyway I kept on clicking on the fridge trying to get her to eat and onto her roommate to drink and the bathroom and her coffin and every time I gave her something to do the box disappeared and she made the whining sound all Sims make. Eventually, four of the bars turned red and she dissolved into dust as the grim reaper came. During this time I got more and more frustrated until "AMY SMASH" I actually called my character a "fucking cunt" and had to leave the room before I smashed my computer into a million pieces. As I was leaving I hit my hand against a wall and bruised my knuckles. To make matters worse, when I got back to my computer I realized that I hadn't saved the game and I could just pick up where I left off and avoid the whole vampire fiasco. My shame was almost as great as the rage I felt at the simulated version of my fantasy self.

When my boyfriend beat me at Mario Kart for the gazillionth time, despite my efforts at practising, I really wanted to stick the bloody disc up his arse, (after I'd Hulk Smashed it into bits, of course), just so I'd never have to play him at it again.

Okay, so, a few weeks ago my friends and I went out to celebrate my buddy Christian's birthday by eating at one of those crappy chain resturants.
Dinner conversation turned to geek related subject matter, as per usual. Birth-day boy Christian announced with pride that he'd just seen Avatar for the second time, and was even more deeply moved by the depth and beauty of this masterwork of cinema than upon his original viewing. He was practically in tears when he described how he and his fellow audience memebers clapped when Jake Sulley gathered his troops to face the opressive human army.
I stated my opinion that, while the film was certainly a technical and visual marvel, there was nothing original what so ever in it. I'd seen elements of this story so often, watching Avatar was like watching a mish-mash of pop culture mythology: Fern Gulley, Princess Mononoke, Dances With Wolves, Pochantos, A Princess of Mars, etc.
Christian accused me of being an overly critical, cynical asshole, and asked that I name a sci-fi film even half as good as Avatar made within the last ten years.
I replied that the best sci-fi film in recent memory was hands down Joss Whedon's Serenity. While it may have a healthy helping of Star Wars as one of its main ingredients, the flavor of Serenity was totally unique. It takes elements from other genres with out becoming stale and predictable like Avatar.
Christian responded by saying that Serenity was a piece of shit.
If I'd had the good fortune of being present during Dr. Banner's ill fated bomb test, I'd have become the Green Goliath and crushed Christian's skull like a grape. Not possesing such a talent, I and my other friends (also Serenity fans) called him a dumb fuck caught up in hype. Happy brith day,cock sucker.

On an evening out, there was a group of guys in fancy dress. Superman, Spider-Man, Thor, The Flash, Batman and Robin. Having a few pints of cider down my gullet, and being the comic book geek I am, I shouted across the road "Hey Kal-El, how's it going?". They looked at me and shouted back "sorry mate, no Kal-El here. What kinda name is that?". At which point I marched across the street (traffic be damned!) giving a tirade about not wearing a costume if you didn't at least know BASIC information. To which they replied "It's only a bunch of bloody kids comic characters mate, it's not like they're important". HULK SMASH! Luke dared to strike the impostor son of Odin! Luckily, my friends dragged me away before actual fisty cuffs but from then on, whenever I see someone wearing a comic book costume I do march up to them and find out if they're worthy of wearing it.

One night I was up late with a couple of friends. I'd had several drinks (read: piss drunk) and we were sitting around shooting the shit. I cannot remember how or why, but our conversation turned to DnD, and specifically about Wizards and Sorcerers. Now, my friends contended that the Wizard in DnD makes no sense - why would you need to relearn every spell every day? The sorcerer just knows them rote. I point out that the sorcerer is of magical lineage, so it's in their blood. The wizard must decipher ever-changing Draconic language to understand the magical underpinnings of the universe. As such, both are valid. My friends disagreed. They looked to famous examples of "wizards" and pointed out that they all worked like sorcerers, and thus only sorcerers should be valid. I raised them various interpretations of Merlin who is shown to be studious and needing to consult Grimoires for magical abilities. They said that was stupid.

I broke a beer bottle.

For two hours we screamed back and forth on this point. We were blood-frothingly pissed. I punched holes in our wall (paper-thin something or other and it still hurt my girly-knuckles) trying to defend DnD wizards. I have never so badly in my life wanted to shred my shirt (but not my purple pants) and cast "Banner's Fist of Hairline Fracture" against my hated foes.

Seriously, fuck sorcerers. Dragon-blooded, spontaneous casting jack-offs...

After watching Phantom Menace I'd like to smash all three of George Lucas' chins for the abomination named Jar Jar Binks.

Hey Rob. I rage often and I rage hard, but it's always quick to pass and seldom lasts for more than ten minutes.

This is a story of a two-year-long, deep-seated, ever-burning rage.

I had a good buddy named Daniel, a bit of an outcast. He didn't have anyone to hang out with on a whim, save me and my room mate, Michael. So when he said he was being kicked out of his apartment, I was there.

My girlfriend was visiting from Minnesota and we're in Tennessee, and even still, I helped him.

Even though it was midnight and he needed IMMEDIATE help with no prior notice, I helped him, dragging my love along to do the same.

We arrived, helped him move his stuff into our cars, and moved it back to my apartment, storing his goods in the 3.5 room shack. Yup. My me and my roomie's stuff, and now DANIEL'S seven room, two story house worth of stuff crammed into my little apartment.

As an additional point, Daniel had brought dirty dishes in huge boxes, one of which was so thickly coated in grease it ruined my girlfriend's shirt. The dishes stacked up to my chin in BOTH sinks.

My girl flew back home a week later, but Daniel crashed with me, using the living room for a room and using my PC, all for $20 bucks and the promise that he'd do the dishes.

He hogged the TV to play MGS4 for THREE STRAIGHT DAYS, smoked in my house, used my food, and then... oh then... the coup de grace.

After a long day at work, I came home to find my house a mess, and Daniel playing the PS3. The dishes were still undone, but when I went back to my room, where something else was amiss.

My computer tower was laying on its side... open.

Upon trying to turn on my machine, I saw it was indeed, completely toast.

I asked Daniel about what had happened, and he revealed that he 'saw my computer was performing slow' so he opened up my machine while I was at work, and claimed he saw my ram was in 'backwards,' which is, as most tech nerds know, mostly impossible.

He then tried to 'show' me. He took out the ram, turned it around, tried to force it in, leaned over the machine to try and hide him spinning the ram back around the right way, and popped it back in. I called him on it, he refused to help, saying I'd become belligerent, and went back to his video games.

I exploded.

I yelled and yelled about how he had come into my home, used my things, broken my computer (motherboard was fried, btw) and broken it, then tried to blame it on me, and STILL hadn't cleaned up his mess.

The next day, he skipped town, leaving the dishes undone with a note telling me I could keep them because he was going into the Air Force.

I smashed a few of the plates with a hammer, cursing at the top of my lungs and then ignored the entire WORLD for three days, not even answering my phone for anyone but my girlfriend.

I never heard from Daniel again...

Or so I'd like to say.

Two years later, I finally got a new computer. My laptop. I had hoped he'd realize the error of his ways and apologize, replacing my long lost machine, but deep down knew he wouldn't. I got on facebook and gave him a massive tongue lashing, because now I HAD a new computer, there was no reason to hope in vain any more.

He responded, saying he'd apologized plenty back then and that I was being petty.

I insulted him on every post of his I could find, sent message after message proving him wrong, and deleted him as my friend.

Long story short, dishes turned into a broken PC, him fleeing the country due to my anger, and a two year feud that still goes unresolved, and will continue to do so until he grows a pair and apologizes. In monetary and verbal forms.

I don't even think the HULK has raged for two years before, but you do NOT screw with another man's computer.

The day Topless Robot sold out to Lionsgate.
(I'm kidding.) (Or am I?)

What you mean wanted to?
Last time some guy called my Zelda tattoos lame I went Sopranos on him.

I was in high school when Final Fantasy VII came out. Working at a crappy fast food place, along with helping my mom pay the bills, it took a few weeks too save up the money for the game. The whole time my friends at school are telling me how awesome it is. I'm super excited. I finally buy it one Friday after I pick up my pay check and it is amazing. The graphics rock, the story is weird but cool, I'm just loving this whole experience.
So I'm about 30 or so hours in taking my time trying to get the best weapons and all that stuff when my little brother runs out of room on his memory card and he erases my game. I was furious, like we got into a fist fight, mad.
So I start over. Again taking my time trying to level up. Now I'm about 35-40 hours in and my older brother erases my game.Now he is seven years older than me, I couldn't smash him, so I just gave up.
I've never beat that game. To this day I get so pissed off thinking about this. I still want to beat the crap out of my brothers for this.

Monster Hunter Freedom Unite on the PSP, I have never raged at a game before but this gme makes me throw my PSP and shout like a moron.

After spending 20 mins trying to kill a Khezu or Tigerex only to have it kill me with a stupid move would make even to pope swear like a sailor.

My friend Dave was DM'ing a D&D campaign while we were in college. He set up an "evil" campaign just to let the players go and have fun without worry of going against their alignments and whatnot. After a short while of the campaign going on, maybe a month, he offers a spot that opened up due to another player having to leave for school related reasons. I create a catfolk scout, leveled appropriately to the rest of the party and starting with a really kickass weapon...

And within three play sessions, the DM's character goes insane and tries to kill all of us. Despite my character having the highest speed of the party, and getting furthest away, the DM's character chooses *ME* to zone in on and eliminate. After finding my way back to my body from another plane, two sessions later my scout is stuck behind a windwall with two characters who (you guessed it) are driven to kill the closest character. So I die. Again.

So I roll up another character, and just to piss off the DM for the double death dealing, I roll up a bard. Except mine was actually useful. A prank-inclined prick, but useful. First real battle the party gets into while my bard's around, and some kind of demonic aborted fetus (I don't remember the exact monster name, but it looked like a freaking fetus (long story short, it was one but actually aborted. It didn't appreciate that)) attacks us. Except it doesn't just attack melee, no no. It has a DEATH STARE.

Three fucking guesses who it looks dead in the eye FIRST, and for the only time in the battle.

So before my bard could get a shot off with a crossbow, he drops dead.

Two characters, within three play sessions of each other. Killed by a dick DM. And yes, I still play the game. But I wanted to go Banner on that DM's ass in real life.

When this guy from Youtube I don't know argued that Roland Emmerich's Godzilla movie was actually good, and he and his friends, who are Godzilla fans, loved the movie. Also, he argued that there is no such thing as a bad movie, and that if you expect Godzilla to be nothing more than a monster movie, you'd hate it. I wrote this reply where I told him that we ALL expected a monster movie, and we still hated it, and movies that are predictable suck. But before I can press the 'submit' button, the electricity went off. I didn't want to bother re-writing my reply since it was three paragraphs long (It was in the form of a personal message) so I just Hulked out because I can't prove to some guy I don't know that I'm right.

After a week of being broke and eating nothing but ramen, I get paid and make myself the BLT of my dreams - 5 slices of Canadian bacon, 2 thick slices vine ripened tomato, crisp fresh lettuce on toast smothered in mayo and mustard.. I turn my back for like 2 minutes to wash out the frying pan and my twatface cat totally decimated my sandwich.

I found out that there was another Shrek movie planned. I couldn't help but scream WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?!?!?!

ok, so snacking can be somewhat nerdy. Who doesn't love snacks?! So, it was my last time visiting family in buffalo and I was about to partake in my favorite Buffalo wings from Duffs (anyone who has ever eaten their wings knows that they are the real deal and worth a nerd-like obsession). Since it was just supposed to be a snack I only got 5 wings and brought them back to the relatives’ home. I took a bite of the wonderfully crisp skin of the wing and was in freaking heaven; but then my asshole younger cousin came in and was like “hey, can I try one?” I was like “hell no! get your own!” But then the parents stepped in a made me give him one of the five wings. He then had the gall to merely lick it and then throw it away saying that he thought it was gross. I was ready to kill him for doing such a disgraceful act to the sacred wing, but then I decided to continue my own devouring of said remaining wings (slightly pissed at this point). Sure enough, a minute later my stupid cousin walks back into the room grabs another wing (of which their were just 5 to begin with, and just for me!). He takes a slight nibble this time and then throws it out. He says “hmm…no, I still don’t like it; I though I’d give it another try.” At his point, Bruce Banner had left the building and all that was left was a giant green menace in purple stretch-y pants! That asshole defiled two on my favorite wings, which I will never have again!!!!! (unless I go back to buffalo at some point…..not an easy trip from my part of the country). I still want to smash his puny head every time I see him!!!! HULK SMASH PUNY WING LICKING TWERP! My life has not been the same since….

Unless you’ve had Duff wings, this may be lost on you…

Ok, the neirdest hulk-out I ever did really happened.
A while back, I'd been playing Final Fantasy III for the Super-NES off-and-on for about two years. It was a used copy, but performed well, and always had my saved games on it. I'd gotten to a point where I found this magic weapong that I'd been searching for (and yes, took a walkthru to find, I admit it). I went through the headache, and refused to leave the game until I'd done this, even though there were personal errands I was putting off to get it done. I finnaly accomplished the deed, and went to save the game. Everything seemed to go well with the save....until I tried to reload it later that night. Somthing had happened, and the save was corrupt. I lost it, and ranted and raved, cumulating in my taking the cartridge and breaking it. Long after I'd calmed down, I decided to go back on ebay, and see if I could find another copy of this...only to discover just how rare, and more important, how expensive this game was!
My lesson in hulking-out was the same as in the comics....it can get really expensive to do so! :-)

"jenkster" Jerry Jenkins

The last time I wanted to freak out on everyone around me was actually last night. The last ever episode of Dollhouse was set to air, and it's already depressing enough that it's been canceled and they've put off airing the finale for weeks. My friends and I were all prepared to watch it, feeling that mix of excitement and dread that usually comes when you watch the very last episode of a show that you've come to love. So, we were waiting for 8:00 to roll around... and at 6:50, our power goes out. We call Pepco (our power company) and they say that problems are happening, but they expect the power to be back on at, you guessed it, 8:00. So time passes, 7:50 rolls around, and no power. We call again and this time they predict it'll be back on by 4:00 am the next day. Fucking fabulous. We're pissed, but we keep playing cards with a little hope in our hearts like a bunch of chumps.

Do you want to guess when the power actually came back on? 8:55 of course, just in time for us to watch the last 5 minutes of Dollhouse if we wanted everything spoiled for us.

Thanks, Pepco! Last night I had dreams of setting your building on fire.

Rob, having read most of the comments up to this point, I just want to say this: You had this coming. When you tell people you don't want to read an 1000 words essay, they will assume 999 is the proper limit.

Super fucking Ghouls n' Ghosts.

For anyone who ever played that damn game, I'm sure that's enough. Hulk-outs were practically a part of the game, but I ended up taking it one step further.

See, our SNES was kept in the front living room, along with my mom's nice "visitor" chairs and couch. I spent weeks trying to beat that damn game, always ALWAYS dying because one part of my little toe just barely grazed one of the monsters hairs on its head, and then learning you actually needed to play through the fucking thing TWICE to beat it, all of which led to countless usual fits of rage: i.e. yelling, cursing, throwing controllers, etc.

One day, I'm finally getting close to beating it. I'm on my second playthough and getting cose to the end with plenty of lives, when I just flame out for whatever reason and suddenly lose all my lives in quick succession. I was pissed. I was angry. I shouted. I threw the controller. I shouted again. But I couldn't calm down. I started pacing in the living room and ended up behind the couch, and I decided right then and there that this innocent inanimate piece of furniture would bear the brunt of my fury, and I kicked it. And I kicked, and kicked, and kicked, and kicked. I'm not even sure when it happened, all I know is I finally stopped and looked down to see a giant hole in the fabric in the back of the couch. The couch was ruined.

Needless to say, Mom was not happy, and I was grounded (in general) for a month and from video games (speficially) for two. To this day, the "couch" indident still lives on in infamy. And I never played that damn game again.

About me: I am a generally laid back person... Actually, I have been called "a walking mass of fuck it" by my friends on many occasions. I don't like wasting my time getting angry or yelling at people, as it devotes a part of my processing power to the undeserving masses and that shit just won't fly. As such, I am extremely hard to annoy, let alone piss off, but when that happens I tend to go HULK SMASH on people.

I was in my senior year of High School, and was in the locker room changing for gym. I had my clothes and books stuffed into a too-small locker when I realized I had forgotten my lock at home. (To explain: My school was retarded/poor, and had too many students and not enough lockers. As such, you got to share one and had to take your lock/shit home every day.) Well, I figured it wouldn't hurt to leave the lock off just this once, shut the door and walked my merry-ass outside.

Some of you are already shaking your heads.

When I returned, I found my locker open, my shit strewn about on the floor, et cetera and so on. I was irritated by this, but close inspection revealed that none of my books/supplies were missing, so I just let it go. I go to dress back in, and lo, some lackwit fuck has stolen my shirt. Here's where the nerdy/HULK rage comes in: Said shirt was one of my favorites, as the front was adorned with just about every character from the Marvel Universe. I've been a diehard Marvel fan my entire life, so this shirt was Jesus in clothing form to me.

I have now gone from mildly irritated to irrationally pissed. I stay levelheaded enough to change out of my gymshorts, and then calmly look around the room. Off in a corner, snickering, is a group of clearly amused black kids. One of them is wearing my shirt. I hear a roar in the back of my mind.

Now, with my aforementioned reputation as an unassuming/lazy white kid, my guess is they figured I would just sputter impotently and leave it alone. Not so. While I may be lazy and unassuming, I am also 6'2" and built like a linebacker. HULK-like anger and size advantage cheering me on, I walk slowly towards them, ignore the snickering/comments, grab the offending party by his neck and slam him into the wall. Further ignoring his now indignant friends, I inform him that he has 60 seconds to find a way to remove my shirt with my hand still gripping his throat or I was going to rip his larynx out. While clearly confused at to what a larynx was, I could tell he understood the threat.

I am wearing my Marvel shirt while typing this and, yes, grinning smugly.

every damn day of my life.

Ok I'll try.

Since Nov. I've taken up working nights at Target. I already have a full time bigboy-pants job but need some extra scratch since I've got a baby on the way. Usually the weekends and then Wednesday nights. I was holiday help.

(Side note. I've also cancelled cable at my house to save money too. No DVR. Its tough times.)

Recently I got asked to stay on. Mrs. Keepoffthegrass was sad, but she said "At least we'll get to watch LOST together!" But alas...I said, "LOST is on wednesdays!"

So I switched my hours at Target and took wednesdays off instead of Tuesday. They werent happy, but they did it.

.....the final season of LOST now airs on Tues. I screwed myself.

I was the clerk who had to wait until my shift ended at 2 AM in the morning in order to buy Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, because I was given the "honor" of getting to open the first boxes and sell them to other people.

That night was spent breaking up "duels" between fake Gryffindor's and Slytherin's; listening to mother's going on and on about how their children read "nothing else"; of having to yell at idiots for jumping behind the sales counter, skipping lines, and trying to shoplift the book; cleaning up paper products from food that the crowd decided to just DROP ON THE GROUND, eaten or not; and making sure that nobody was reading the book while in line (our store manager was given a corporate order for this, by the way).

Finally, my shift ended. I grabbed my copy and stood in line for another half-hour when a prick ran into the store and yelled "SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE IS DEAD! SNAPE IS THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!"

As a woman who thoroughly enjoys trying to guess the surprises in books and movies, I was seriously pissed off, and it ruined the whole book for me. If I ever see that guy again, I will Hulk, smash! him as hard as I can.

Halloween after the Phantom menace came out. I worked for months on a Darth Maul costume. The thing looks dead on; custom made outfit from scratch, big ass black leather boots with straps, 1 hour to do the face paint, I even darkened in my teeth with black wax.
A group of us go out. One of the girls is a slutty pirate or some slutty costume. We were walking around campus town hitting different parties and some duchbag decides that the best way to bang said slutty costume chick was to insult everyone else’s costume. He comes to me and having no way to insult my authenticity said, “I don’t even know who you are supposed to be”.
To prove his point he made such claims as “I don’t watch tv.” and no I have not been to a store in the last 6 months.
That is about the time I greened out, I don’t really remember what happened after that, but I am pretty sure no one could identify me in court. Like I said, it was a banging costume.

I used to be addicted to Goldeneye for N64, but haven't been able to get together with friends to start up a game because of my legendary Hulk-outs.

At least a dozen times each game, especially when I was up on the kill count. I would find myself suddenly snipped in the head as soon as I would turn corners, or have a certain someone waiting for me at exactly the moment I would enter a room blasting me in the face. I knew the probability of this happening was pretty much 0 because the douche could hardly get past the first skywalking level when we weren't playing multiplayer.

So one day, after many subdued tantrums (I mean, when you lose you lose, what can you do), I realized that the skywalker was looking at my screen and setting himself up for easy kills. That's when I went all Bruce Banner on his cheating ass. I got up, kicked the console, which unplugged my controller. Said controller then went flying through cheater's front teeth shattering them in the process.

My friend got me one of those banana phone cellphone covers. I wanted that thing for months. When he gave it to me I was extremely happy. 5 minutes later my other friend nikki borrows it and puts her cellphone in it. the thing breaks. My mind went blank. I was so mad i actually blacked out. all because of a banana phone cover.

I was learning how to play shadowrun, in the room with my standard group of players, having one of them roll up a character.
Now INI is almost always Initiative and I should know that.
But when he asked me what INI was I said I don't know.
The other guy in the room, just kept hammering that INI was initiative, but I simply wasn't sure, He grabs the book from my hands (which I had bought that day) furiously moves to the Glossary and rams the page about INI in my face, of course his furious pageshifting ruined my book, I gave him a whack with it and went home, he's not been welcome in my RP group since.

I've been a TR reader for a couple of years now, and I've never felt like I could contribute to a contest. I am known amongst my social circle for my "rants"(mostly nerd-related to things they don't care about). Obviously, taking away the merc-with-a-mouth(s) mouth drove me nuts, but there was one moment within the last year that sent me on a rant that requires only an uttering of one simple phrase..."Matrix of Leadership".
Now, I was actually entertained by the first instalment of the Bay-formers, and, as such, I went into ROTF with moderate expectations. I spent 2 hours squirming in my seat increadulous at the fact this horendous piece of shit was even made. When I finally heard that now-dreaded phrase "MATRIX OF LEADERSHIP", my mouth went agape, I began to shake, and belted out at the top of my lungs(on a Sunday afternoon, mind you) "You've gotta be fucking kidding me". At which point, I stood up, and walked out. Muttering to myself, "Matrix of leadership...Really...The Matrix of Fucking leadership...the fucking Matrix of leadership...GARGHAHARL". They could have called it anything, but to bastardize the greatest mcguffin from my childhood, just to tie into the cartoon, sent me off my nut. I left my five friends behind, forced to jam their bodies into an S10 pickup, went back to my bar, and proceeded to down massive amounts of tequila(I hate tequila), in a vain attempt to scrub those words from my brain. To this day, still no luck

I'm a belly dancer - a broke one as teaching and performing dance (especially such a niche style as mine) is not the most lucrative job ever...As a result of said low monetary gains, I have to sew most of my costumes myself; a carry-over from my days of creating ren faire garb, etc. With a show deadline approaching, my sewing machine became posessed of the devil during the construction of a zombie-inspired costume for a performance to Jonathan Coulton's Re: Your Brains. I'm getting pissed, mutting darkly, trumpeting like an angry tiny elephant (I'm a pretty small & wimpy- looking person)... Finally, the layers of my zombie belly dance atire get good and caught down in the guts of the machine. With a yell of frustration, I beasted the damn costume free, snapping a bunch of metal parts off of my sewing machine in the process. It took a while to find a sore that could order the replacement parts :P My husband to this day teases me about not "hulking out" on my machine when I start to work on a costume.

Growing up, I had an extremely long list of medical problems that limited my abilities to interact with other children. So when I was in Middle School, I played a lot of collector card games like Pokemon, and Yu-Gi-Oh. I was unparalleled in skill at the time and brought home a lot of tournament prizes, made quite a few friends, and was more or less able to fit in for once in my life.

When I was in the 8th grade I was given a "dream" by the Sun Shine Foundation (The original make a wish group) so I chose a trip to New York City. While I was there I wanted to visit this store I purchased cards from online. They were really nice and gave me a bunch of free stuff, I decided to pick up a few of my orders there as opposed to having them shipped, so we walked out with about 3 booster boxes of Yu-Gi-Oh cards and some assorted singles. My dad then decided this was the best time to bitch me out about spending money on cards. My mom had given me $600.00 out of the agency money for whatever I wanted to buy. I spent about 200 at this store not including the orders which my mom had already paid for.

Growing up my dad would randomly walk out on us for undetermined amounts of time.. The next year he decided to do that for the longest time yet, a month. When he came back and wanted to reconcile ...he showed us his "cool new cell phone." My mom asked him who "Heather" was (She was programed into his cell phone). "That's my call girl, I took her to Victoria's Secret and spent over a thousand dollars on her.." At that point I freaked out on him pretty bad. Yelling at him over how spending 200 dollars on Yu-Gi-Oh cards when I was on a trip to make me happy about being sick was a bad thing.. but he can go out and cheat on his wife with a hooker and spend a ludicrous amount of money on gifts for her.. At that point I wish I had gamma irradiated powers so I could smash his skull in. We haven't spoken in over 5 years. Reconciliation = divorce in this case.

Well in march of last year I pre-ordered Pokemon Platnium for my ds and I only did that because 1. I love pokemon no matter what and been playing it since blue and red version. 2. I really wanted the GIratina figure that came with it. So I went it to Toys-R-Us on the day it came out and I waited like a little girl, hell I got all giddy. Now they said that they had like 20-30 of those figures to give and there were at most 15 people there. Guess what? They ran out at my turn. Now this happens to me so I said no biggie, i'll just come back later. But the damn dude at the counter was hogging the figure to himself. Guess who else was a pokemon fan? Yea him. So I went to the counter and told the dude what the helL, Why he was hogging them all for himself. All he did was mumble something and told me to get the hell out. I said and I quote here "I payed good money for the freaking game and I want my giratina! Now give me it! I dont care that your a fan I want my god damn figure" My mom had to pull me back because I was getting a bit loud and i caught the attention of the security guard. So I didnt even get my Giratina. I was so pissed the car ride home I completly forgot to get my game which they still had so I went to my mom and told her to take me back. Guess who refused. Guess who also grounded me for putting on a show for a little toy. I got my game 2 days later but no figure and I only got it because i threw a hissy fit to go get my game. It worked but coudent play it for another month.

I work at a video and 2 instances come to mind when I want to HULK OUT!!!! Fairly recently I had a custom come in, spent almost 45 minutes with them, answered all questions, got them an Xbox 360 and 10 games ready. They made the purchase only to come back 10 minutes later to RETURN IT ALL!!! The other instance is quite and how often I have to explain to people why Mario will NEVER EVER appear on the Playstation

welll.....: we used to go to the movies with my cousin and my brother each thusday.
and there´s wasn´t anything good and we didn´t want to just return to our homes.
I knew that a movie with eddie murphie will suck ass, but he and her stupid girlfriend convince us to go and watch it.
We came out of the teather vomiting,thinking about the money and time wasted and then i watched thoose peaces of shit (my cousin and his girldfriend) mocking us.

Long ago, in an age before this one, the playground was covered with children singing "Shout" and trading Garbage Pail Kids. One young man, stranger than even me the little weird girl, was being picked on by the Cobra Kai wanna-bes. His offense? Sitting atop the jungle gym and calling forth the Thundercats.

Ho! It was too much. No more! I had enough of these 10-year-old jerks. Despite being less than 60lbs worth of fury, I tackled one of them. I was tossed aside like day old bread. But the strange boy, from my neighborhood no less, was encouraged by my display and stood up to the bullies. He lost...but I came back for more and won...by cheating. But I won! Hurray for the weirdos and strange kids!

Thank god for red ant hills on playgrounds.

My son is a cub scout and his den's name is the dark knights. At the end of each year there is a dinner and ceremony with a theme based on the name of the "graduating" den. So their name is the dark knights, so we need some batman stuff for table decorations. Easy right? Just go to walmart. Yeah, no. So with my son, daughter and one other kid from his pack in tow i go to the action figure isle and find no batman. Lots of other crap but no batman. I see a guy stocking so i ask him. "Where is the batman stuff?". He tells me there is none because they only stock according to what movie is coming out next and as i can plainly see there is a ton of spiderman because #4 is coming out "like any week now" and its not my fault because im a chick so hes sure i dont keep up with this kind of thing. Well this was THE SAME DAY the article came out announcing the death of spiderman 4. Which even if it hadnt been killed would have been no where near release. But the chick thing killed me. I launched into a fullblown bitch fit grabbed a spiderman box and while shaking it in the guy's face yelled at him for 15 or so minutes about women, nerds (and yeah i'm a huge nerd), comic books (my collection and knowledge) and his general waste of oxygen as a life form. I ended by telling him that next time he better just say "no ma'am we dont have any" and run away. I turn around and my son's friend looks at the guy and goes..."Damn dude you just got killed" and started laughing. So the guy is standing there silent as i hand him the spiderman package with two 10 yr old boys and a 7 yr old girl laughing at him. I didnt even feel a little bad.

A few years ago my brother in law came over to play video games. We have a shared Ultimate Alliance save file and since he lives over two hours away we were psyched to play, but we're missing the most important thing: I was out of beer. It's 10:30 p.m. and the state I live in has some weird ass liquor laws. They stop selling at 11 sharp. So at 10:45 we make it to the store, the beer is all the way at the back of this consumer monstrosity. We are practically running. We grab a couple of six packs and rush to the front. One checkout is open at this point. One guy is ahead of us. He's checked out, he pays, he takes his receipt. It's 10:52. The checkout girl calls for a CSM because she has to do a drawer drop.

It takes nine minutes for them to change out the drawers. We tried to argue our case about the drawer not being our fault. We were at the checkout before time ran out, but no dice. One damn minute past.

Have you ever gotten into a book that you really didn't like? I don't often, but this one time, I did. I don't know what it was about this book, the plot wasn't great, the character's weren't paticularly likeable, but I was too far into the book by the time I realized this to put the damned thing down. EVER. I don't know why, I just, I COULDN'T. I blew off my boyfriend and parties over this thing for over a week.

And then, one long Sunday afternoon of being anti-social, I reach the end of the book. Or, it WOULD have, IF THE LAST THREE CHAPTERS WHERE EVERYTHING WAS WRAPPED UP HADN'T JUST FAILED TO BE PUT IN! I bought the book new, and the pages weren't torn, I checked, they were just... Missing. Over a week of my life gone to not even find out what happened in this stupid book.

Oh, and when I went to the book store to see if I could get a replacement copy, they were out.

And wouldn't credit me for it because I didn't have my recipt still. Because I had bought it weeks ago.

HULK SMASH STUPID BOOK

Probably Yesterday afternoon and today... I've been trying to rack up my brain to find an anecdote about me hulking out... (can't use my crappy reward since I used that on a previous contest...) So here it is: I CAN'T FIGURE OUT ANYTHING THAT HAS PISSED ME OFF AS MUCH AS THIS CONTEST!! I broke my headset trying to figure out a story worthy of a TR shirt...
I WANT MY VERY OWN FREAKING TOPLESS ROBOT SHIRT!!!

I hate hipsters. They are way too douchey for me to stand. They are so superior because they are so unique (I am aware you can't be more unique or so unique, just emphasizing). They have their ironic clothes that they bought second hand and there American Spirit cigarettes cause they are "healthy" cigarettes. They act like they are smarter than everyone.

Oooh they make me so angry. I truly hate them for their superior attitude and I want to HULK SMASH everyone of them. In fact I get very un-nerdy and very agro-bro when I'm around them when I am drunk. Being a 245 lb drunk abominable nerd seems to be quite intimidating cause none of them have actually said a God Damn thing to me as I go off on their douchey hipster way. I actually don't know what I would do if one of them actually did something. Probably just get my ass kicked but there is some satisfaction when they get all scared by me.

Any way, yeah. I want to Hulk out on hipsters, fucking douches!

So last week, first week of classes, I was in my principles of lit 2 class fucking around on my laptop while my teacher droned about Genisis. At some point he starts to talk about the reconstruction of sentance structure to create prose n what not. One of the students, a girl, refferences Yoda, and the teacher eats it up: talking about the way yoda speaks for like 5 mins. At the end of it he says "And then you find out that Luke and Yoda were actually in the belly of a dragon or something right?" Ok so I was a Die-hard fan of the original Star Wars flicks in 3rd-7th grade (lost interest when craptacular Menace came out), and I of course knew he was mixing up Dagoba and the astroid worm in Empire. Of course I stay quiet bc I actually found it funny and really didnt give two shits....BUT....this OTHER girl, about 5 seats to my left, starts, very audibly, huffing and puffing about the mix up. I shit you not she was having a mini break down. "OMG OMG OMG" *breathes loudly* I can't...I can't believe..OMG". SO Not only were there two girls in my class who are apparently into Star
Wars, but one lost her shit and had a melt down when a mistake was made. This tickled me sideways and managed to make my day regardless of awful gf issues.

The last time I wanted to HULK-OUT was when I didn't win the HULK SMASH contest on Topless Robot!!! I WAS SO CLOSE!! I ALMOST HAD THE HIGH SCORE AND EVERYTHING!!!!!

So, at this last year's AWA, we were hitting up the dealer room on Sunday to try to spend another good $100 or so on nerdy stuff we don't need.

We come across a table selling manga. They're not runnng any clearance specials like the other tables, but they've got pretty much the entire Legend of Zelda manga series. And so we're picking them all out, and we're more than happy to drop like $40 right there.

We go to the guy to pay only to find out that he's like the only dealer we've come across that doesn't take cards. Okay, fine. One of us will run to the ATM to get cash. As soon as the word "ATM" leaves my mouth, though, he snatches all the volumes and starts stocking them again without saying a single word to us.

RAGE.

Okay, well, it would either be that time at AWA, or last year at another convention. My boyfriend and I are cosplaying The Sorrow and The Boss (during Virtuous Mission), respectively, from MGS3. And almost everywhere I went, people kept calling me Big Boss. I'm a woman! I was wearing a blonde wig! What the fuck is wrong with you people!?

Because I'm lazy, I frequently have the problem of wandering around the house trying to find a moderately tidy spot to sit down and read a book only to find, everywhere I go, stacks of comics, hastily set up action figures (and their packaging), unread mail, paperback literature, bird shit, dirty dishes, electronic whosits and whatsits, articles of clothing (especially socks), and naturally the discarded implements of failed attempts at cleaning up. I can't find a single spot unmolested by the chaos where I can sit peacefully undistracted by the crap of my life. You see, in addition to being lazy, I'm a neat freak at heart. A clean, well-ordered room is like fucking Lothlorien for me; I am the odd couple. I see all this mess and, in my wrath, just start throwing everything anywhere I can out of sight--in closets, behind boxes, piled all in one room--because I just can't take it! Growls, foot-stomping, and punched walls have been known to occur. I just want to read in peace!

What's that you say? I'm complaining about a mess, so I start making a bigger mess in response to it? Yeah, now you see the logic in defusing conflict by inserting a giant green rageaholic with retard strength into the situation.

Everytime I think about Mortal Kombat. They keep and keep shitting on my favorite childhood franchise! Zombie Liu Kang? Zombie LIU KANG! ZOMBIE LIU KAAAaaaaaaAAANG!!!

I'm better now.

MK vs DC? MK VS DC?? MK VS F***ING WONDER WOMAN AND LEX LUTHOR?!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!

---This one’s a bit of a long story, but it’s my angriest I’ve ever been during my adolescence, nerd-related or otherwise. It all started the summer before I started high school, when I was trying out for JV soccer. My brother, two years older than me and on varsity, badmouthed me the whole time and roughed me up a bit. So when I got home, I went into his room and dumped his baseball cards all over his bed (an appropriate response in my nerd mind). He retaliated by snapping the wings off my X-wing and TIE-fighter models, and stomping on and cracking my Millennium Falcon model in his attempt to break it in half. I was enraged. We fought as I tried to barge into his room to shred his cards until my mom caught us and confined us to the couch until my dad came home. When he did, our parents took us both aside to our rooms. I got my dad.
---After giving the standard lines about how what we did was wrong and how violence doesn’t solve anything, he came at me with a line about how in the end my brother may have ended up doing me a favor. Apparently this was the appropriate time for him to tell me that I was getting too old for sci-fi fantasy stories and that going into high school, it might be a good idea to find normal, “healthy” hobbies like my brother, in an effort to be popular like him. He told me that the transition to high school gave me an opportunity to re-brand myself as more mainstream. To illustrate, he pointed out that no one of consequence brandished their early involvement in nerdy things after achieving success the way they did about, say, sports. I was floored. Here was my dad, the supposed vanguard against negative peer influences, pedaling the “don’t do it if it’s not cool” line. My dad. The man who appreciated more than anyone how much I wanted those models, how expensive they were, how much time and energy I put into their construction, and how proud I was of them. Then he delivered the piece de resistance: “After all, your mother wants grandchildren one day.” After that he chuckled and gave me one of those shoulder punches before taking me out to the hallway.
---He set me face to face with my brother who was brought out by my mom to exchange apologies. My brother went first, with that smug look that screamed insincerity. When he was done, I was so angry that I could only choke out an apology from between clenched teeth. My suddenly eagle-eyed folks noticed this and told me that my brother was being grown up about this, so I should be too. I couldn’t take it. I stormed off to my room and barricaded myself there until the next day. For that, I bought myself two weeks grounding, compared to my brother’s one week.
---Never did I want to smash something so badly in my life. I wanted to smash some of my brother’s sports memorabilia to wipe that smile off his face and make him appreciate how I felt in a language he understood. I wanted to smash because my habit of sulking when angry never seemed to be taken as seriously by my parents as my brother’s habit of screaming, which made them France to his Hitler. I wanted to smash so my parents would appreciate how I felt about having the important things I identified with be condescended to. Don’t get me wrong. I have a loving family and we get along great. But for whatever reason, that episode is burned into my mind.

Odd as it may sound, Superman is the only person that have made me wish to go hulk on someone.

Some years ago, I spent a summer living and working in my wife's hometown. It's a small town and it wasn't easy to find a good job, so I had to take a job as a telemarketer.

I hated it, but my only sunshine was that it worked another nerd there to. He wasn't really great by nerd standards, but beggars can't be choosers.

One of the last days on the job before returning to my hometown, we were discussing favourite movies and he mentioned Superman Returns that recently had hit theatres. I hadn't planned to go and see the movie - as a Superman-lover, I was sure to be dissapointed and hadn't got any good impression of it - but here a fellow nerd actually was recomending it. Maybe I had been to harsh on the movie?

"Are you sure?" I asked.
"It's better than Citizin Kane."

Better than Citizin Kane? Holy black and white smoke, Batman! If it was so good, it would even make up for all the horrible years as a kid when you had to explain to the bigger kids why you liked a superhero who couldn't even put on his underwear in a normal fashion, instead of a cool hero like Spider-Man. Some broken parts of my soul would finally heal.

When I got home, I told my wife that we had to see Superman Returns ASAP and that it would be the greatest movie we would see in our entire lives. Maybe the greatest experience ever. Better than Citizen Kane!

We didn't have time to see it until we returned to my hometown, but I talked about the movie to my wife at every opportunity. Soon, we would see the second coming of christ.

And we went to see the movie.

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I tried to tell my wife several times how sorry I was and that I would make it up to her to bring her the hide of the nerd who lied to me... I I COULD FIND IT AFTER SMASHING THE PUNY HUMAN AND HIS WHOLE BLOCK TO A PULP WITH MY BARE HAAAAAAAAAAANDS!

My wife wasn't impressed. :(

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I still wake her once a month in the middle of the night to tell her how angry I am.

Last night the husband and I were watching a foreign fantasy (Wolfhound) till late. Once the movie ends he wants to get frisky and puts on Adult Swim because "here's your aphrodisiac" -an ill-timed jab at the fact that I love anime. Ill-timed because the show he put on was Boondocks -not anime and something I absolutely HATE and have hated since it's inception. Not to mention, the scene on the screen was nothing but 2 old fat guys talking... I saw it and felt my libido shrivel.

So the first thing out of my mouth is "I want to slap you." 'Cause I did.

But does he attempt to recover the evening's passions with a little humility or at least a change of scene? No, he proceeds to get pissy at me since I interrupted him making his moves, because he offended my geeky little habit. He proceeds to leave the room with a defensive and insincere, "I'm sorry I offended YOUR anime."

And really, this righteous indignation is a total joke coming from a guy who spends hours playing Civ IV and has hundreds of dollars of comics spread all over his den. I was so pissed that after writing a bitch email I had to stay up even later watching more anime just dissipate the rotten feel of it all.

As my 21st birthday approached, I had planned that my friends and I would go to a local one screen cinema pub so I could enjoy a few beers and take in a good second run film. I was hoping that they would possibly be playing Fantastic Mr. Fox, Bad Lieutenant, Brothers, or something worthwhile. Well, we get to the cinema and I discovered the worst case scenario: they were playing Old Dogs. OLD DOGS! FUCKING OLD DOGS! Even recounting the fact that spent my 21st birthday watching that flaming piece of shit infuriates me to no end. So, as I sat there, with my friends, the audience, and myself quickly becoming upset that we put money into watching this poor excuse for a film, I clenched my teeth, drank heavily, and hoped the alcohol would dull the pain.

The letter I wrote to DC Comics complaining about "Batman: Holy Terror" while I was in seminary.

The Elseworlds is based on the fact the Puritans were in charge of England and never gave up the American colonies. So they have bishops and the inquisition and all these gothic churches for Batman to run around in.

EXCEPT THE PURITANS HATED HIGH CHURCH! They never would have used all the Catholic devotions and offices, because they hated all that ceremony.

Even now, after being a priest for 17 years, it still gets me mad.

about two minutes ago. when i couldn't figure out how to differentiate y=1/2 tanx sin2x this is my second time taking calc 2 due to an incomplete...but c'mon! i should know this crap! why am i even doing this to myself anyway? HULK SMASH CALCULUS!!!!

Much anger do I sense in this thread. Portend well for the systems this anguish does not. Fear do I that seduced by the dark side many will be. Perhaps conflict for balance we shall once more see. Pray should you that I am misaken, hmmmmmm.

I was at work, you know just waiting for some idiot to come up and complain that their Blu ray disc didn't work in a DVD player, and my coworker was taking some broken stuff to the back. She grabbed an Optimus Prime mask and said "Hey look, I'm Darth Vader!" I would've smashed her in half, but I was too horrified at this atrocious case of mistaken identity. I needed three hours and comfort from a fellow Jedi to overcome my distress.

The last time I hulked out was while playing GTA 4... Playing ANY GTA story mission is pretty much an exercise in masochism... One time while playing GTA SA I punched hard wood 3 times because I was so angry... my knuckles took forever to heal...

Also GTA 4 sucked in comparison to previous GTAs. I'll make a list

Cons:
1. No jets
2. No places OTHER than city
3. No huge selection of fun cheats
4. No jetpack
5. No GOOD helicopter mechanics (vice city is STILL the only good 1...)
6. No tank (without downloadable content)
7. No good motorcycles (again without dc)
8. The camera is bad is small places...
9. They removed the better targeting system from SA

Pros:
1. Better graphics/physics/(some say)more realistic

I can't figure it out... why was everyone taken in by those alone?? The game was a huge step down for the series!!

Also my computer makes me hulk so much so often I think it's eventually going to break me and I strip naked and run around in the forest all day having sex with trees...

On a fine Hawaii morning, stuck at work, I was angry at the world from the utter self-inflicted mental retardation of my gaming group, and even more the people who were not even technicians who thought they could "tune-up" my electronics system. Dealing with dumbasses and people that just made me work over-time while on a business trip to Paradise killed my day.

I took out my agression by shouldering into a safe. It was full of electronic components and welded to the deck. Unfortunately,I blew it off its welds and tipped it over, where it landed on the bulkhead. Needless to say I couldn't put it back up. When the time came to correct it, five males had to lift it into place-one of whom was my future husband. I earned the name She-Hulk, as nobody can explain how a size 8 female did so much damage.

My punishment is that I have to drive around with an Incredible Hulk Heroclix figure on my dashboard, and living with a spouse who refers to my hulk-out as a bull-moose in heat.

When I read that there was a planned western remake of Akira and that Neo-Tokyo was going to be New Manhattan I was pretty fucked off.
When I carried on reading and found that they were going to change Tetsuo to Travis I punched the wall denting the plaster board and roared so loud "I am Travis!?" that I could've flayed skin from bone.

When trying to help developer use ClearCase when it is painfully obvious they haven't paid attention to the training.

Oh I raged to HULK capacity once, a couple years ago. Like all good Magic players I would frequent my local game shop. I had been tooling around with a new deck, and was in search of a particular card. Yes I could easily by the individual card at an exorbant fee, but I enjoyed the thrill of opening a new pack of cards to find my prize. As such, I was waiting in line to make a purchase, when a friend of mine showed up. Being nice I let him cut as we discussed cards and decks. I relayed my need for that one particular card, and he in turn mentioned the possibility of a trade if he by chance would get it. Well, after purchasing one pack, the final one in their box, he went to open it while I finished. I purchased 3 packs from a newly opened box. To make this quick, he got the card, played it in one of his decks, liked it enough he decided to keep it. I burned and raged, kindness had taken the card from my grasp, my one singular nice moment and the card I sought for had been stripped from me. And as my friend left the shop, I pondered if it would be possible to drop a large object on him, or maybe pyromania, because if I couldn't have the card nobody could. I have since received help for this terrible addiction.

Okay. Okay. I'm an equal-opportunity geek. I watch anime, play video games, read some comic books, and reference Shakespeare, Homer, and Douglas Adams alike at any given opportunity. I love science fiction, like fantasy, and respect the Classics, from Deloreans to Joes.
...I'm also twenty-three, female, and unfortunately shackled to the MOST STUPID age/gender bracket in existence. I may be a fan and a girl, but despite being a mostly gentle person, FANGIRLS send me into a white-hot aggressive geek rage. Complexity, subtlety, history, and canon mean nothing to them. Nothing is sacred. Nothing is beyond their reach. I've given up anime fandom entirely because I started having nightmares. If I ever hear another theory about Link and male!Sheik, I'm going to go nuclear on someone's ass. And God help me, I like the show Supernatural. I'm not a pervert, so I didn't even consider the stuff I've seen fans say about it. When I accidentally read some girl's fucked-up gushing about the "sizzling, sexy chemistry" when a possessed father telekinetically crushed his son's internal organs while said man begged for him to stop...after I stopped screaming at the walls, I would've eradicated my WHOLE GODDAMN GENDER GENERATION just to stop the plague from spreading to the future.
Fangirls make me ashamed to be a female geek. OF ANYTHING.

Last summer when I finally found a copy of Soul Calibur 3, I was playing through the story mode as Maxi. While fighting Mitsurugi the computer was a cheating fucking bastard and beat me unfairly for nearly a goddamn hour straight!

I was so pissed that I took a broken fan that we were throwing out and smashed it to hell in the garage. It was a twisted pile of metal and plastic when I was done. Hulk fucking smashed.

It was Christmas at my in-laws. We decided to play Pictionary. During the game play my pregant wife and her brother started talking about the odds of rolling some number in a row. Was it adding or multiplying to find the probability? It didn't matter. Her brother declared it was one way and that he just finished some statistics class so he knew what was the right answer. She tried to think/ talk the process with him but it turned into a huge argument. At that time, I didn't care for my in-laws much. Seeing my horomonal pregnant wife crying, ignited my gamma rays and I was ready to take him down. Instead I got our coats and told her it was time to leave.

ohmygah... this one time at band camp...

Last time I really hulked out was actualy the day I came across this site. Around two years ago I was a grunt Marine bored in the mojave desert looking for images of the upcoming dragonball movie. I found them along with a strong depression that lasted for three days. I couldn't believe it. How fucking dare they do this to us fans? I knew it wasn't gonna be perfect but god damn. It had the pontential to be, there I say it "bigger than star wars". That night I bought I bottle of my super soldier serum (whiskey)and unleashed my inner hulk out in my room. I fucked up everything in site with my bloody iron fists. Even the metal studs in the walls had no mercy. When i calmed down, I no bull shit cried my self to sleep. I blamed the damages to the room on a drunken samoan that broke in. PMO(Millitary police) belived me, true story.

Last time I really hulked out was actualy the day I came across this site. Around two years ago I was a grunt Marine bored in the mojave desert looking for images of the upcoming dragonball movie. I found them along with a strong depression that lasted for three days. I couldn't believe it. How fucking dare they do this to us fans? I knew it wasn't gonna be perfect but god damn. It had the pontential to be, there I say it "bigger than star wars". That night I bought I bottle of my super soldier serum (whiskey)and unleashed my inner hulk out in my room. I fucked up everything in site with my bloody iron fists. Even the metal studs in the walls had no mercy. When i calmed down, I no bull shit cried my self to sleep. I blamed the damages to the room on a drunken samoan that broke in. PMO(Millitary police) belived me, true story.

Last time I really hulked out was actualy the day I came across this site. Around two years ago I was a grunt Marine bored in the mojave desert looking for images of the upcoming dragonball movie. I found them along with a strong depression that lasted for three days. I couldn't believe it. How fucking dare they do this to us fans? I knew it wasn't gonna be perfect but god damn. It had the pontential to be, there I say it "bigger than star wars". That night I bought I bottle of my super soldier serum (whiskey)and unleashed my inner hulk out in my room. I fucked up everything in site with my bloody iron fists. Even the metal studs in the walls had no mercy. When i calmed down, I no bull shit cried my self to sleep. I blamed the damages to the room on a drunken samoan that broke in. PMO(Millitary police) belived me, true story.

I know that it's maybe a little too late, but here goes. STARGATE *effing* UNIVERSE. There! I said it!
They killed off SGA for that drek?!? Hell, they've killed off the FRANCHISE for this.
Action? No.
Adventure? No.
Consistant writing? No.
Loads of spaceships and visiting other planets? No.
People pulling together to overcome difficulties? No (The SHIP is the only 'character' to actually pull a solution out of it's @$$).
Whiny, self-absorbed, unlikeable characters? Yes.
Shouting matches instead of conversations? Yes.
Women whose only role is to cry and back-down? Yes.
Yes, SG1 and SGA did had their share of clichéd characters and tropes, but at least something happened in their stories. And don't get me started on the magic stones crap! RRRARRRRGGGHHHH! HULK SMASH PUNY CHLOE!

I currently write custom computer quotes for a living. I did one for a sales rep that was an mini-ITX box because she needed a small form factor, with everything integrated. She emails me after getting the quote asking if the computer has half height cards. I ask her what she means by "has half height cards," everything is integrated, there are no cards in it. Did she mean does it require half height cards? What did she mean?

She replied by copying and pasting the Wikipedia entry define what a half-height card was.

Several emails later after explaining to her several times that there were no cards at all in the system but if you were to put one in it would indeed have to be a half height card, she still replied back with "but to confirm, does it have half height cards?"

my girlfriends cat peed on my issues of the hulk where the rulk is introduced. drawn by ed mcguinness. I FUCKING LOVE ED MCGUINNESS.

when i tried to post an entry for this contest about how my retarded cousin decived me to watch norbit in the teather because i convinced him to not watch transformers in theaters (movie that he loves) and i forgot to put the name of the movie (norbit) on my entry.

This is for my wife. She was assaulted back in August, I won't go into details but the guy who is accused of attacking her is claiming innocent despite the fact he was filmed on 6 CCTV cameras, his (now) former employer, is testifying against him.

My wife is incredibly tense about everything she, hates the idea of this guy getting in trouble (despite the fact that like I said on 6 plus cameras he shoved, thumped and abused her,

So we're in court on Friday, we arrive late, and when then accused discovers we arrived late suddenly he develops "chest pains" first aiders check him out, ambulance crew check him out, blood pressure good, heart rate good, but no he gets carted off to hospital just in case, and the court case is off till mid march.

So Hulk smash. Some idiot gets to try and get off an assault charge by moaning about a tummy Ache. My marvel loving wife needs two months off before this twat gets his just deserts.

So she deserves some Hulk action. Or at least a t-shirt.