I think most toy collectors know Tonner, right? They make 18-inch figures -- in a weird, very doll-like style, complete with rooted hair and fabric clothes -- that normally would be in some ritzy collector's store, except they've been getting into nerd properties like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and DC characters and stuff over the last few years. Anyways, they just released pics of a slew of new dolls coming out later this year, and they're kind of freaking me out.
​• Power Girl. Admittedly, Tonner's done most of the rest of the big DC superheroines already, so it's a natural selection -- plus, Tonner is also releasing a Harley Quinn doll at the same time. It's just that Power Girl figures -- of any sort -- freak me out, because I can't stop think about how the owners will choose to "play" with them.
​• If Power Girl is bad, this Who Framed Roger Rabbit Jessica is much, much worse. I mean, you don't even have to expend any effort getting this doll naked -- it's just a slight tug. It's the American version of those millions of Japanese figurines with the removable maid outfits and such.
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• Admittedly, this Miss Piggy figure is probably the best, most accurate figure they're releasing. It's just that now my mind's in the gutter and I can't stop thinking about some depraved soul dry-humping Miss Piggy. So please, enjoy that mental image with me.
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• Admittedly, this Miss Piggy figure is probably the best, most accurate figure they're releasing. It's just that now my mind's in the gutter and I can't stop thinking about some depraved soul dry-humping Miss Piggy. So please, enjoy that mental image with me.
25 comments
Comments
GUMBERCULES! said:
Check out Power Girl's Power Camel Toe! Holy obtrusive, Batman! Can we leave nothing to the imagination?
Mr. Poopoopachu said:
Why doesn't Miss Piggy have hooves? I mean, shouldn't she simply be an pig in a dress standing upright?
EVula replied to Mr. Poopoopachu:
...why would her feet be hooves and not her hands?
Don't worry too much about the physical anatomy of a walking, talking pig, especially one made of felt. You might hurt yourself. ;)
Shobogan replied to Mr. Poopoopachu:
Also, as 'a pig in a dress standing upright,' why doesn't she have 8-12 breasts?
Mr. Poopoopachu replied to Shobogan:
EXACTLY! It's just ridiculous ;-)
Geoff said:
How is it that the Power Girl is somehow more disturbing than the DC Cover Girls statue version?
JOE said:
Someone who has read more about her could answer this, but isn't Power Girl nothing more than a walking pair of tits in the DC universe, as in even the characters joke about it?
Brion said:
I love me some Powergirl. I usually buy Powergirl anything. But that doll is extremely unsettling.
Kid Nicky said:
I like Power Girl. If I was ever able to find a Power Girl action figure (or any DC Comics character action figure) at a store,I'd probably buy it.
That said,this doll is fucked up. I think it's the souless,dead eyes. It makes me think about the fat sweatshorts guy and the stonewashed jeans-with-the-cuffs-rolled-up-white-hightops guy that you always run into in the toy aisle and the horrible things they would do to her in front of their Hotwheels collection while their mom watched her soaps.
rickicker said:
goddammit rob, now you got me all set up for a miss piggy FFF!!! AAAAAUUUUUUGHHHH!!!
Asat replied to rickicker:
You will need to make extensive use of the phrase "glazed ham", in both the figurative and literal senses, if you are to have any hope of descending to the depth of an FFF. Also, note comments above re multiple mammaries. Ooh, and although Kermit rarely uses it, recall that he would have a very Reed Richardsesque tongue. Get busy!
Gleeman said:
Now we all know 99% of TR regulars would fap to all 3 dolls!
The important question Rob is, do these have the squishy breasts that are unfortunately popular on Japanese figures these days?
Tommy said:
I'm sorry, but the Power Girl doll's boobs just aren't big enough.
John said:
Is it wrong to ask why the product descriptions make no mention of whether the clothes are removable? lol
And unlike Japanese doll/ models, I doubt these are "anatomically correct", if you know what I mean. In other words, these dolls are more like Barbie than Japanese doll/ models.
Bingo said:
Power Girl is the worst to me.
Katie said:
Jessica Rabbit needs bigger boobs.
Just sayin'.
Boredlizzie said:
Power Girl looks like Joan Rivers D:
Also, I second Katie's statement; Jessica Rabbit does not have a big enough rack.
poonk said:
I was kinda hoping for a look at Tonner's new Torchwood (Jack & Gwen) and Doctor Who (Ten & Martha) dolls due out sometime soon. I really can't wait to get a look at those.
Talisman said:
Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that the Jessica Rabbit one looks far more human and less caricatured that the actual, "real" Jessica Rabbit?
I always thought Cartoon Jessica was too ridiculously exaggerated to be sexy, but this doll looks almost like a read-haired Marilyn Monroe...with Angelina Jolie's lips.
Samjoe said:
"Do you have a Miss Piggy?"
Blues Brothers Qoute.
Why Yes,Yes We Do.
Karma said:
That Jessica Rabbit is wrong. Her waist is supposed to be one inch in diameter all the way around, compared to her tits and ass, which are each supposed to be the diameter of a pumpkin, all the way around.
Also, I can't tell which nose is more pig-like. Piggy's or Jessica's.
