Fan Fiction Friday: Lois Lane in “Farmgirl Lois”

?In honor of the Smallville: Absolute Justice special airing tonight at 8pm EST, as well as my ill-advised live-blogging of said special when I know nothing about Smallville or the JSA, I decided to poke around for some Smallville fan fic for today’s entry. Buried deep within the Clark/Lois, Clark/Chloe, Clark/Lana, Clark/Chloe/Lana/Lois, and Clark/Lex stories was this little gem from Superman181, which, to give it credit, at least takes place in the show’s title location and not in Metropolis.

Lois Lane had been working hard on the farm all day and she stunk to high heaven. She put down the shovel and walked into the Kent house. She knew no one
else was home, so she began taking off her clothes as she walked up the
stairs. By the time she reached the bathroom, her tank top and short
jean shorts had been removed, and she was just in her polkadot bra and
panties. In a matter of minutes, those were gone too. She turned on the
bath water almost as hot as it could go. Steam began to fill the room.
Lois began undoing her braided pigtails. With her hair let down and
Lois Lane in all her glory, she admired herself in the mirror. She had
a damn good body and she knew it. Her large breasts were perky, and the
nipples were a tan-brown and puffed out just enough.

Oh, lord. Puffed out enough for what? I’m truly glad my mind cannot provide me with answers (if you have some theories, feel free to not share them with me in the comments). You know, let’s just continue this after the jump.

Her tight pussy
had a small patch of dark brown pubes above it, just enough for her
lover to admire. The room was getting very steamy now and she was ready
for her bath.

I tried to make sense of what the hell Superman181 means by “just enough for her
lover to admire” line way, way too long, and I wept. Big, bitter tears.

Lois stepped into the bath leg by leg, and slowly edged her sweaty
body into the water. The heat fluxuated throughout her body providing
deep pleasure. She reached over and got some bubble bath to add. She
mixed it into the water, creating the perfect sensual setting. She
spread her legs wide and relaxed in the bath tub. Lois began calming
herself and thinking of all her dreams and desires. Clark came to mind.
She always teased Clark and was even quite mean at times. This was all
to cover up the fact that she secretly wanted to fuck his brains out.
Lois began massaging her twat nipples.

Typo, or total misunderstanding of the female erogenous zones? You make the call!

They got hard and perky as she
pinched and tweaked them. She kept her left hand massaging her breast
as she lowered the right one into the water, down her silky naval, and
to her sweet sex. She gently massaged the labia, imagining Clark
completely naked. She imagined Clark’s large, hard cock and she rubbed
her pussy lips faster and faster. She imagined it going inside her
tight cunt and she started fingering herself. She tweaked and pinched
her clit and pictured Clark fucking her in all sorts of positions. She
gave out moans and gasps until eventually she came in the bathwater.
Lois was breathing very heavily afterwards. She took a deep sniff in,
and the room reaked of wet pussy. Lois was by no means lesbian, but she
loved the scent of pussy.

Well. Glad that’s cleared up. Because I very much would have assumed that meant she was a lesbian.

Lois finished bathing herself and got out of
the water. She dried off her delicious body with her red towel. She
knew no one was home, and wouldn’t be home for a while, so she walked
into Mrs. Kent’s bedroom and laid down on the comfy matress nude.

Lois was in a very relaxed mood. She almost fell asleep. Then her
nosy side got the best of her. She started walking around in Mrs.
Kent’s bedroom to see what she could find. She didn’t find much in the
closet, just clothes and other various odds and ends. She looked in the
drawers and found about the same. She did however find Mrs. Kent’s
pantie drawer. She took a glance around to make sure no one was home,
just to be safe, and she put a pair of Mrs. Kent’s panties up to her
nose and took a deep wiff.

But she’s not a lesbian.

Oh, the scent was heavenly.

But she’s not a lesbian.

Lois realized
her action was very perverse, and quickly threw the panties back into
the drawer and tried to close it. Something was jamming it however. She
fished through the panties to find none other than a large, ruby red,
silicon dildo. Lois had a few ideas what to do with this.

I’m pretty sure she has just one idea.

Lois laid on the bed and rammed the dildo into her pussy. She
thrust and thrust as she started to think about Clark. But her thoughts
drifted to Mrs. Kent. She didn’t even care, to her, pleasure was
pleasure. She was fucking herself with the dildo, when she decided to
increase the pleasure a little more. She took the dildo that had some
of her pussy juices on it, and slowly began shoving it into her ass.

I stand corrected. She had a second idea.

If
her nectar hadn’t provided some lubrication, she probably couldn’t have
gotten it in. With her left hand she thrust the dildo in and out of her
ass, while rubbing her pussy with her right hand. She imagined taking a
steamy shower with Mrs. Kent. She thought of Mrs. Kent nibbling and
sucking at her clit.

You know, despite the third person omniscient narrator’s assurances, I’m beginning to doubt Lois’ heterosexuality.

Between the buttfucking and fingerfucking, Lois
came all over her fingers. She lifted her fingers up and sucked all the
cum off. She had to admit it was delicious. Lois settled down on the bed and spread her legs wide in
tranquility. She closed her eyes and fell asleep. A few minutes after
Lois was out like a light, a small jingle bell could be heard jingling
down the hallway. It was Shelby. The dog’s keen sense of smell seemed
to pick up on the balm of Lois’s damp vagina.

Wait. Shelby? The Kent’s have a dog named Shelby? Because fucking Lois would seem like a more appropriate job for Krypto, don’t you think?

Shelby got next to the
bed and began licking at the dildo. The dog liked what it tasted and
wanted more. He began sniffing around. There, a mere foot or two away
was the source of it all. The dog lifted it’s front body up on the bed.
It kept sniffing closer and closer to Lois’s pussy. Finally the dog
started licking and slurping at Lois’s juices. The dog kept going and
going. Lois started talking in her sleep and tossing and stiring.
“Hehe, stop it Chloe. Haha, Chloe that tickles, stop. We’re cousins,
this is wrong,” giggled Lois. Finally Lois awoke and looked down to see
Shelby licking her pussy. Lois backed up in disgust. “Ewww, Shelby,
what the fuck!?!?!” screamed Lois. The dog jumped up on the bed and
it’s force knocked Lois back down on the bed.

Bad dog! Bad!

“Shelby, get the fuck
off!” screamed Lois. The dog just kept humping her and humping her. The
dog managed to get it’s penis into Lois’s vagina.

Now, in order to figure out what was going on, I image-searched Shelby to find out why Lois is have such a darned time trying to keep the dog from raping her. I was expecting a big German Shepard or a Rottweiler or something, and instead I discover this:

?Shelby’s a goddamned Golden Retriever. There’s no way Lois shouldn’t be able to prevent this nightmare from happening. SUPERMAN181, I’M BEGINNING TO DOUBT THE VERISIMILITUDE OF YOUR LOIS LANE/BEASTIALITY STORY.

Lois kept trying to
force the dog off, but she couldn’t. The dog kept thrusting it’s cock
into Lois and growling and barking. Lois was completely appaled… but
it actually started to feel good.

Of course it did.

 The dog had a large cock and it
actually felt good especially at the pace it was going. “No, I don’t
like this, this is gross,” said Lois. She couldn’t hide her feelings
any longer. No matter how disgusting it was, it felt good. No, it felt
great. Lois started letting out moans and other signs of pleasure.
Shelby started going even faster and then it shot it’s gooey white
liquid into Lois.

Someone needs to teach the dog how to finish like a professional porn star.

The cum just kept on coming. Lois cringed and gripped
the bed as this sensation was intense, she orgasmed and started
bursting out cum of her own. The gooey substance was overflowing in
Lois and it all slushed and glurped out of her pussy.

?

The dog finished
and got off of the bed. Lois still had a smirk of intense pleasure on
her face. Shelby lifted himself back on the bed again and started
licking up all the cum on the bed and in Lois’s pussy. Lois grabbed her
thighs and spread them wide giving Shelby better access. “Oh god,
faster!” shouted Lois.

?Lois, honey, the dog knows a few tricks, but I’m not sure that’s one of them.

Shelby was finally finished and left the room.
Lois was very pleased. She had to try that again, most definately.

And she does, in chapter 2. But since we’ve already read about that particular pairing, why don’t we skip ahead — but not too far ahead, because you can’t miss this:

Then Shelby barked and got off Lois. “NO!” screamed Lois, as she had
not achieved orgasm yet. Shelby nudged open the screen door and ran
outside. Lois slid up her panties and let her tanktop drop into place.
“GET BACK HERE AND FUCK ME!” shouted Lois, opening the door and running
outside.

“GET BACK HERE AND FUCK ME!” shouted Lois to the dog. Where the hell is Clark’s superhearing during all of this?

She followed Shelby outside to see a glosious site. She looked
into the barn to see horses, cows, and lots of other animals. To her
right was the field of crops. She looked into it and saw corn,
cucumbers, carrots, squash, even bananas. A large smirk lit up on
Lois’s face. Lois was going to have the time of her life!

You know, I’m a little fuzzy on Smallville‘s continuity, but is Lois a reporter? Is this for some kind of Daily Planet article on the best things around the house to insert into your vagina or something? Also, the Kents grow corn, cucumbers and fucking bananas? Man, how can I possibly be aroused when I know there’s no way the Kents could live in a climate that would allow all of these types of produce to grow in the same environment? Superman181, for shame.

Lois went down the porch steps and began walking to the right, into the
crop field. She was already getting horny at the sight of all the
different things she could fit into her tight pussy. What to try first?
Corn, Carrots, Cucumbers, Squash, Bananas? All looked tasty for her
sexual appetite. Lois went back inside furiously looking for a basket.
Sure enough she found one. Lois went back outside and began picking one
of each various crop. Lois was so excited, as she should be.

YES, AS SHE SHOULD BE.

Lois went happily back into the house with her basket of sex food. Lois
set the basket down on the kitchen table, and laid down across it. Lois
pulled her panties down to her ankles and spread her legs a little. She
had no clue where to begin. Lois closed her eyes, reached into the
basket, and pulled an item at random. Lois pulled out the banana. “Hmm,
this will be ok to start off,” said Lois touching the end of the banana
to her pussy. Lois opened her pussy lips and shoved the banana in.
“OH!” Lois let out in pleasure. The banana felt amazing.

Of course the banana felt amazing, it’s just been shoved into Erica Durance’s vagina. That’s like winning the lottery for a banana.

It’s octagonal
peel was spreading Lois’s pussy in a way it hadn’t been spread before.
It was new and different. Lois thrust the banana faster and faster.
Lois pulled the banana out of her vagina and grabbed another item from
the basket. It was the shuck of corn. Lois knew this one would feel very
interesting. Sure enough, it did. Having each individual piece of corn
brush past her clitoris felt amazing.

Even if she’s not writing an article, Lois has a reporter’s desire for knowledge.

Lois demanded double penetration
though. She grabbed the carrot stalk from the basket. She tried to fit
it into her tiny asshole, but it wouldn’t go naturally. Lois pulled the
corn from her pussy, and put the carrot in. She made sure to lather the
carrot in her pussy juices before attempting again. The slick carrot
spread her asshole nicely. Lois placed the shuck of corn back into her
tight vagina. She had one hand on the corn and one hand on the carrot,
and began pumping them both back and forth. “OH GOD!” screamed Lois in
ecstacy. She came furiously onto the corn. She squished the corn out of
her pussy, a nice strand of goop attached.

The best part here is knowing that some of you have kids, and tonight at dinner, some of these kids will say “I don’t want to eat my vegetables.” You’ll be about to say something, then you’ll think of today’s FFF, you’ll get nauseous, and you will let your kids skip right to dessert. These children can email their thanks to me at [email protected].

Lois was panting, but looked into the basket and knew she was not done
yet. Lois grasped the round base of the squash, and lunged the rest of
it into her deep hole. Her asshole begrudgingly accepted it’s visitor.

“The place is filthy, but please, come in.”

Her asshole was spread like it hadn’t been before. Lois grabbed the
cucumber from the basket, leaving it empty. “Well this one will be fun,
it even has ‘cum’ in it’s name,” laughed Lois.

Lois has a fucking terrible sense of humor.

The cucumber almost
pained Lois to put in. It was so huge and her pussy was so small. But
she just kept on forcing it in. Lois began to gather a momentum with it
and continued thrusting it. The squash was making nice suction sounds
as it pumped her asshole. Lois couldn’t believe how big her holes were
spread, but she had to admit, it made her feel like a dirty whore.

Interestingly, it actually makes her a dirty whore, regardless of whether she feels like one or now.

And
oh god did that turn her on. Lois was having fantasies about very
disturbing, kinky things.

Lois has a squash and a cucumber in her lower orifices, and earlier had sex with a goldern retriever. I have no desire to know what Lois at this point considers “disturbing” or “kinky.”

She wanted someone to cum on her face so bad.
Sadly, no one was there to do that. She desired cum on her face, in her
mouth, filling her slit, and covering her hair.

Shelby? Shelby! C’mere, boy!

Lois burst all over the
cucumber. Lois took the crops out and put them back in the basket. Lois was tired, her pussy had had all it could take today. She would
have to experiment with the barn animals another time. Lois went
upstairs and laid down.

Hours later, both Clark and Martha came home. Their noisy chatter
downstairs woke Lois up. Lois came downstairs and saw Clark sitting at
the dinner table and Martha up by the sink and basket of crops in an
apron. Clark was eating a salad. “Oh, Lois, you’re a doll,” began
Martha, “not only did you get all these crops for me, but you washed
them too. We came inside to see this basket of fruits and vegetables
wet from just being washed.” “Hehe……yeah,” said Lois reluctantly.
“This salad is amazing Mom,” said Clark, “I dunno what you put in it,
but whatever it is, I want to eat it all the time.”

?I’m going to take a wild guess and say that NO ONE WHO READS TODAY’S FFF WILL HAVE VEGETABLES WITH DINNER. It’s a bold claim, but I stand by it.

Lois just kind of
stood there. She didn’t know whether to laugh or feel disgusted.

TAKE A GUESS, SLUTPUPPY. Alas, although there’s one more chapter, it doesn’t involve Lois trying out the barnyard animals with the same methodical experimentation as the “crops;” it introduces Clark’s cousin Lara, who Lois immediately tells the American custom is for girls to shower together, and abruptly ends. Hopefully, Superman181 will be back to finish his opus, although he’s busy with many other stories, including Olivia Munn and Morgan Webb from G4 going at it, a story where Izzy from Grey’s Anatomy fucks her dead fianc?, and a little tale titled “Veronica Mars Gets Gangraped.” He may be busy for a while.