By Rob Bricken in
Miscellaneous, Movies
Wednesday, Feb. 3 2010 @ 5:00PM
First of all, let me assure you the above video is safe for work, despite being a trailer for Vivid Entertainment's upcoming Batman XXX porn parody. As you'll be able to tell from the video, it will be modeled after the '60s show, which makes sense since most of the villains had gangs of hot '60s chicks as underlings, and otherwise, Batman's rogues gallery is pretty much a sausage fest. Good choice, pornographers! Also of note is the fact that since DC/Warner Bros. has the Bat-logo copyrighted, the Bat-stud of the film will have a big "XXX" on his uniform's chest instead.
Now, I'm obviously concerned about the iconic '60s sound effects being used in this movie -- the "SPLAT!" with the liquid flying off the letters seems a horrifying indicator of how they might be used when, er, someone's sliding down the the ol' Bat-pole. But on the other hand, I am grimly curious about what "Holy" things the Boy Wonder will be shouting... as well as all the marvelous Bat-devices Batman might pull put of his utility belt. I await your suggestions for both in the comments. Thanks to Michael D. for the tip (so to speak). (Via Bleeding Cool)
60 comments
Comments
Roger said:
I predict Orgazmo-style boner-rangs and grappling hookers.
Stevis said:
They should have Adam West do a cameo!!
lou-bert vs. q-bert replied to Stevis:
alas there must be some projects that even Adam West won't do.
Fayetteville Video replied to lou-bert vs. q-bert:
Is he still alive even??
Necronomic Forecast replied to Fayetteville Video:
Yes, he's mayor of Quahog, Rhode Island.
radar replied to Necronomic Forecast:
Also he's Catman in Dimmsdale and did the part of the Crimson Chin, he's an active man
tvtastegood said:
Batman: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking Robin?"
Robin: 'Gee wilikers Batman do you think she can handle double penetration?"
Or
Golly Geez Batman she put the WHOLE thing in her mouth!!
bookfisher said:
what! no Poison Ivy Im´ shocked Im´ appalled...
mrm1138 replied to bookfisher:
If I remember correctly, Poison Ivy never appeared in the '60s series.
Roswellianism said:
Robin: "Holy screaming O, Batman!"
...I tell ya, as cool as it is seeing the original Batmobile in action, I have a feeling this will turn out to be...
...terrifying.
So, let's see. We've had porn parodies of "Star Trek," "Batman," "Edward Scissorhands," "Ally McBeal," "Ghostbusters," and god knows everything else under the sun.
Makes me wonder if someone's working on a "Hellboy" parody.
Sean replied to Roswellianism:
You shut your whore mouth and leave Big Red alone.
Kaoy replied to Sean:
*Raises hand**Prepares to speak*
Nevermind. Too obvious.
MikeWaz replied to Roswellianism:
There's one called Carolina Jones. Very awesome.. mostly. Problem is you wait the whole movie for the two girls to do it and they never do. Disappointing.
Nothing trumps the Pirates porn from a couple years ago where they rented the same boat as Pirates of the Caribbean and the owners never knew it was for the best porn ever.
Genius Jones said:
You are a sick, sick man Rob Bricken. (Now I need to see where I can preorder this)
Abraxas said:
this is simply awesomeness....
KB_SBI said:
This is Comedy Gold! Also why aren't there more Superhero themed Porn-Parodies?
smashpro1 said:
Holy Clitoris, Batman!
EVula said:
Evan Stone as the Riddler? Hell yes. I've thought that guy was hilarious ever since seeing Pirates 2.
donnybrook said:
I was kind of hoping that this would be a gay porn parody, but apparently Vivid is missing the OVERWHELMING homosexuality of the Dark Knight. *Sigh* wouldn't be the first, dammit.
LackingZones said:
Why so Randy Spearious, Batman?
This is going to be gloriously terrible.
Teeks said:
Holy Riddler Splooge, Batman!
Kyle said:
Tori Black as Catwoman? Purrfect.
(WOW.)
Asat replied to Kyle:
Cannot possibly be as hot or as insane as Madison Stone as Catwoman in "Splatman". "Make the kitty purr, Splatgirl! Make the kitty purr!"
longbowhunter said:
Look...the girls playing Catwoman and Batgirl are both hot as hell,so...yeah,I'll be watching this. I've often wondered why the prono/strip club industry doesnt take more advantage of nerds-we obviously have disposable income. And which would you rather blow 300 bucks on...some half-naked Japanese statue of Batgirl or a lap-dance from a stripper who LOOKS JUST LIKE BATGIRL??? Hell,I'd spend that much to get a wheelchair dance from an Oracle lookalike....
Kaoy replied to longbowhunter:
I want to make a joke about popping a wheelie and popping a boner, but it just won't work for me.
Korbl replied to longbowhunter:
IT says something that my first thought was something about a sexual dance probably being out of character for Oracle, given Joker's treatment of her when he put her in the wheelchair...
Kaoy said:
'We open on a new day in Gotham City, and find Brute Cane and his you male companion, Gray Dickson, enjoying a relaxing moment at the local watering hole as Bruce shows Gray the proper way to call cougars.'
DoctorSmashy said:
I seriously thought this article was going to be about the now epic Batman/Robocop FFF.
Stiff Shots said:
Yeah, you pretty much had me at "Tori Black as Catwoman."
'Course, if they wanna get around the whole, y'know, copyright thingamabob, they should call it -- I dunno -- "Twatman and Rubber," perhaps?
demoncat said:
i predict not only some special boner rangs but also a new type of the shark replent that batman will whip out to spray bat girl during the love scenes. that and some bat lube.and since its a parody . time warner and Dc will have to let this thing get made. as much as they proably want to stop the thing.
Frito said:
Good thing they added all those random girls at the end. For a second I was getting a little worried.
do4m said:
"Qucikly Robin! Pass me the Bat-Skank repellant!"
"Holy Gang Banging Batman!"
http://www.redshirt.co.uk/media/batmans-greatest-boner/
the biggest question is "will the people of Gotham laugh at the Joker's Boner?"
zsasz said:
evan stone is in it? count me in (yes im straight, but the guy is just a pure scene stealer)
Denjiro replied to zsasz:
Yeah, I saw him in a bad late night cable flick, Super Ninja Bikini Babes. He looked like he was having way to much fun with the super villain speaches.
Capsulesn'Coffee said:
No Harley Quinn!!??No Poison Ivy!!!?? Meh I say.
pumpkinguts said:
Too bad the orignal Alfred isnt alive I would have loved to see his withered old apple sack.
Old Fart @ Play replied to pumpkinguts:
EEEEP!@ withered old apple sack... WFT is the mental floss and the giant sized bottle of Listerine brain wash? You have raped my geezerhood sir and I will never forgive that!!! HEH! You sick little monkey boy, well played.
Pumpkinguts replied to Old Fart @ Play:
My pleasure Dear Sir
Death's Head said:
Whatever happened to the much promised 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer: A XXX Paroday' from New Sensations? =/
radar replied to Death's Head:
I have no idea, but you can find a "Muffy the vampire layer" floating around the internet, which seems like it's been made by Mel Brooks
Baltimoron said:
Will some sort of universe-ending space/time anomaly come into being if Greg Land traces this movie?
batzarro said:
What, no Commissioner Gordon?
Bert replied to batzarro:
You sure he's not in there as Commissioner Hard-on?
Gleeman said:
Hmm, I think this calls for a more detailed investigation...
The Amazing Rando said:
Oh my God!!!
I want it but yet I also hate myself for it.
But if Batman and Robin go gay I'm killing myself...
rickicker replied to The Amazing Rando:
Holy Raging Hardon, Batman!!
Boredlizzie said:
But the real question is, who would win in a fight: XXX Batman or Orgasmo??
. . . I think all porn should be as entertaining as Orgasmo. Sadly, it is not.
Creepo said:
So you guys obviously don't know anything about the gay porn version that's been ot for like forever, starring Paul Carrigan as Batman. I think the title was Revenge of the Poker, or something like that. I know you'll look that up anyway. ;)
Mike at The Big Stick said:
Evan Stone as The Riddler is inspired casting.
BuncheB said:
I can't wait to see fanboys attempt to get Adam West and Julie Newmar to sign this thing at conventions. Yeah, I know they aren't in it, but you know some classless asshat will give it a shot.
ryanphonic said:
This will never live up to the Dickman and Throbbin pwerno that I saw in high school.
Gregg said:
Dub Mark Hamill's voice for this version of the Joker.
kid_icarus said:
cue nuns
cue lady with baby carriage
cue marching band
cue man on ladder
cue lovers in a boat
cue man wheeling oxygen tanks near a no smoking container
cue nuns again
cue marching band again
cue ducks
"some days you just can't get rid of herpes"
Greg said:
Four words "Tori Black as Catwoman".
Yea, that's a win.
Brian said:
But doesn't Warner Bros/DC also own the copyright to Batman? How can they get away with using the same character names?
Greg replied to Brian:
It's a 'parody'. So, they get away with it the same way Robot Chicken and SNL do. It's completely legal.
skankadelic said:
"Holy deep throat, Batman!"
"Hmmm, impressive isn't it, Robin?"
"Zounds! And now she's tossing the Joker's salad!"
"Yes, Robin. Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'salad dresssing'."
skankadelic replied to skankadelic:
...to the term 'salad dressing'."
sorry, my S key is sticky. And there's a slew of jokes in there, somewhere...
Jamie said:
Please oh please let there be more than just hetero pairings. Batman/Robin, Batman/Joker, Catwoman/Batgirl... the more types of pairings, the merrier, I always say.
Spoon said:
Tori Black + Catwoman = FUCK YES THIS IS AWESOME.
