• Not scary, but made me laugh for 20mins. I might have to Nick Simmons that for later use

• Pierce Brosnan to star in new Musical "InuYahsa", music and lyrics provided by Mariah Carey.

• Hmm. So, you are of the opinion that just because someone writes comic books they wouldn't have the ability to write real works of literature? What of works like Maus, or Persepolis, or Watchmen? Those are real works of literature. You're denying yourself a lot of enjoyment if your reaction to anything comic book related is, ugh, it's a comicbook, therefore it sucks. Also, I fail to see how his mentioning that Tom Bombadil was his least favorite character from the Lord of the Rings and Stephen Colbert making a joke about it equals to Colbert "owning his ass". Did you think they were having a heated disscussion of some sort? It seemed to me that it was a friendly conversation between the two, but if you want to look for conflict you'll find it. I also fail to see what Peter Jackson's decision to not include Tom in the rings films has to do with the situation. I'm confused, are you saying that Gaiman is jumping on a band wagon of some sort? Yeah, Beowulf sucks. But, he was not the one solely responsible for it sucking. There was a director who had no regard for the literature, and another writer whose last signifigant contribution to cinema was over fifteen years ago, involved with the film as well. I'll admit. My earlier statement was a little too fanboy. But no less so than June, Daniel and Seige77's declarations that he sucks. I was merely expressing my opinion.

• That's not ironic, it's just coincidental!

• FOX NEWS INDUCTED INTO GOVERNMENT AS NEWLY-CREATED MINISTRY OF INFORMATION, INSTITUTES NEW DOUBLE-THINK POLICY

• HA HA HA(DRAMATIC REVERB)!!!!

• What's scary is she's dumb enough to try this.

• AVATAR KILLED HUMANITY ! Since scientists discovers how to transfer human soul into clones for only 50$, humanity has definitely changed. 80% of male are now changed into "Megan fox" avatar, and spend 21 hours per day, touching their breasts. 10% of men choose to become Christopher lee, 5% looks like "Klingon", and last 5 % choose various avatars (mainly furies animals, and pedobears. Authorities are chasing 'em) 95% of men loose their work, family and friends. World of Warcraft closed. 90% of women didn't want to choose. They already have breasts.

• "Nerds to be sent to re-education camps by new North American Emperor Snookie, formerly of hit reality show Jesey Shore"

• "Matt Groening Dead at 56! Beloved series The Simpsons to continue under the steady hand of Seth MacFarlane's Fuzzy Door Productions." Two days later: "Due to the current economic climate, Fox announces it will not re-negotiate the contracts for the current cast of the Simpsons, including long standing actors such as Dan Castellaneta and Nancy Cartwright. Seth MacFarlane will do the voices for every male character on the show to help cut costs." Headline one month later: "Fox renews The Simpsons for nine more seasons."

• NBC/FOX TEAM UP, PURCHASE MARVEL & DC "Studios Vow to Turn Every Superhero into a Thursday Night Sitcom"

• I was half-joking....

• Sorry, wasn't paying attention..... Matt Damon to play Shotaro in Akira Live-Action Movie

• Walking Dead TV-series cancelled in favor of Hannah Montana-Bratz crossover

• Matt Damon to play Akira in Live-Action Movie

• Mark Hamil, Kevin Conroy, and Peter and Peter Cullen come down bronchitis they recover but voices forever changed.

• Divorce deemed unconstitutional. Exes forced to reconcile and cohabitate (I know i missed the deadline but seriously, i would flee the country)

• Frank Miller to direct a Frank Miller production of Frank Miller's Watchmen II - A film by Frank Miller in 3D!!!

• Oh, I love that one.

• P.S. I know this was late but again, I'm writing from the other side of the planet and it's difficult for me to get these in on time. 8(

• Ask Jehova.

• I'd vote for Ruby Rod.

• That actually sounds <i>awesome</i>.

• Some of us have been anxiously awaiting this day.

• Shhhhh! Don't tell me that you're 13, then I feel more pathetic for also loving One Piece. It's a show for adults too, damnit.

• If it wins, I fear that Rob will be in danger.

• Oh dear Lord this one better get something!

• Milo becomes self aware, announces 27 new mediocre Fable games.

• On set accident kills half the cast of LOST. Final episodes will not be completed.

• I just realised, I'd love for Disney to sue James Cameron. OH MY GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

• Japanese say joke is getting old, will stop being so weird now.

• "Scientists discover that playing RPG's for more than 2 hours a day causes epic shrunken genitals"

• Fox cancels The Simpsons to make room for another new Family Guy spinoff entitled, 'It's Quagmire!' Animation Domination now totally, and ironically, dominated by Seth MacFarlane. Family Guy continues to suffer.

• "Time Machine perfected at Skywalker Ranch Laboratories. At press conference, lab director George Lucas also announces a 4th Star Wars film, entitled A New Hope."

• Scientology Proven to be Fact, Tom Cruise Elected Space-Pope

• "Due to new deal with NBCs Jay Leno, ABC to cancel show LOST effective immediately."

• Rob Bricken revealed to be the author of all FFF's and a yiffstar moderator; perfects the fermentation process of tears; makes billions

• Senate Rules: "Pornography is Unamericain"

• Drinky Crow Sobers Up. Joins Outreach Program for Teens with Drinking Problems/Suicidal Ideation

• Jean-Claude Van Damme to take back his role as Guile in a Street Fighter movie sequel.

• "Fan Fiction Fridays, The Truth Revealed, Rob Bricken is a Decepticon" "Fans of the site say, still a better plan then anything in Bay put on screen, or Autobop."

• Jill?

• All Costumes and T-shirts Banned from ALL Conventions. Dress code requires everyone to dress as preppy-douchebags.

• I wouldn't exactly call that a unanimous opinion. I've certainly never been able to get through his crap. Let's put it this way, he writes books about as artfully as a comic book writer. * I loved it when Colbert owned his ass when he had the pomposity to say Tom Bombadil should have been left out of Fellowship of the Ring--Wow! What a bold statement from Gaiman! Especially in the face of the Peter Jackson's billion dollar success after deciding to cut Bombadil. http://splashpage.mtv.com/2009/03/18/watch-neil-gaiman-take-on-stephen-colbert-on-the-colbert-report/ And I will never forgive him for turning the huge potential of a CGI Beowulf into a total abortion.

• For some reason, all the comments and the "Write your comment" field aren't showing in Firefox. Anyway: "George Lucas Develops Technology for Michael Bay to Direct Live-Action Futurama Movie After Destroying Every Single Copy -- VHS Tape, DVD or Film -- of Non-Special Edition Original Star Wars Trilogy," followed shortly thereafter by "Futurama Movie: Shia LeBeouf Stars as Fry, C-3P0 as Bender, and Jar-Jar Binks as Zoidberg."

• Topless Robot of "Topless Robot" Cited for Indecency/Corruption of Minors, is Placed on the Sex Offenders Registry. Ordered to Stay 7,500 feet away from Children, Schools, Playgrounds, Malls, Toy Stores, Comic Shops, and Videogame Outlets.

• X-Box Live: The Movie

• Guillermo del Toro fired from the Hobbit, Brett Ratner and Michael Bay to co-direct. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer brought in for re-writes.

• Infants Born with Infinitely Regenerative Nutriet Sacks. Evolution Kills Boobs. *kisses picture of Christina Hendricks, then slits wrists*

• Joel Schumacher, Micheal Bay, and Uwe Boll team up for Watchmen 2, starring Robert Pattinson as Nite Owl and Megan Fox as Silk Spectre. In responce to the news, Alan Moore goes on a killing spree the likes of which the world has never seen. during this killing spree, he kills the remaining members of Led Zeppelin, who had reunited to make a rock adaptation of The Lord Of The Rings,which would have been the greatest album ever. the album never sees the light of day.

• Dreamworks requires rights to the films of Studio Ghibli! All prints and dvds of Kiki, Mononoke, Totoro, destroyed! Dreamworks to remake all films using 3-d animation!

• Following the recent box office success of Alice in Wonderland, Johnny Depp is predicted to star in future remakes starring as the genie in the live action Aladdin, the vacuum in The Brave Little Toaster, and in the remake of The Wizard of Oz as Dorothy.

• "Anti-Gang Taskforce Raids Another Dungeons and Dragons Safehouse, Opens +10 Can of Whoop-Ass on Pants-Shitting Members of the Reported Criminal Enterprise." Authorities, coming under fire for extreme measures used in the apprehension of suspected gang members, have toted the success of their methods as justification for them. Operations "Drop that F#@king Dice or Die!" has so far netted 1,400 associates of the gang (including 15 Elf Sages) inspired by the popular* Dungeons and Dragons series, which in at least one case has been linked to a violent bludgeoning death. Task force members report that no such crime has been committed since their operation has been launched. Along with the arrests, the task force has confiscated 4,396 capes, 15,684 bags of Cheetoes, 977 inhalers, and over 450,000 sheets wortth of elaborated mathematical equations presumeably written as a form of code in furtherance of their criminal activity. The proported success of this program has many higher-ups considering similar action against "Magic: The Gathering" groups, which were added to the watchlist following the criminal designation of the aforementioned group. ----- * [citation needed]

• In a move designed to help the America Family, Congress and the States of America ratify the 28th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America. The 28th Amendment prohibits all non-Government controlled and owned telecommunications and forms of entertainment. Nerds everywhere shout-out in agony as the government raids homes and businesses confiscating DVDs, videogames, computers, and mobile devices that violate the constitution.

• Neil Gaiman is one of the finest writers of Fantasy literature, my friends. Period.

• Why is it that I could see this somehow happening? Madness, MADNESS!!!

• If this were a democracy, this one would get my vote.

• This has already happened...there are 4 books in the series andfour high school grades so this is easier then you might think Plus what are "funny talking" Shakespeare characters when you got shirtless hot dudes that shapeshift or sparkle?

• Robert Pattinson isn't a bad actor, he just hates the Twilight saga and gives the appropriate amount of effort.

• Duly noted.

• Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson. Two actors capable of range, and have definitely shown it on more occasions than Nicolas Cage, but they do just play the same role in 90% of their movies.

• Correction: "Internet DEAD: EMPs caused during filming of latest Transformers movie destroy servers in North America - Print Media rejoices"

• "Internet DEAD: EMPs kill all servers in North America - Print Media rejoices"

• Evil aliens announces plans to invade, earth's last hope is a group of teenagers with attitude. When reached for comment humanity deemed itself fucked.

• I would die.

• George Lucas declares Star Wars IV, V, VI no longer canon; will be replaced by Uwe Boll helmed live action TV series

• In a misguided attempt to appear edgy, Sarah Palin announced that 'all your GOP candidacy are belong to us.'

• "Nerd Nuts Wither Worldwide!! Excess Estrogen in Plastic Toy Packaging and Comic Book Bags Cause Explosion of Man-boobs and Permanent Ball Withdrawl." (The Sun.) For decades, nerds have been storing their precious toys and comics in protective plastic bags, thinking this is the only way to protect their dorky delights from harmful UV rays and oxidization. Tragically, scientists have now determined a causal relationship between these plastic protectors and nerd pudginess, man-tits, and ball-rot--and, in some extreme cases, complete testicle retraction or even puberty reversal. "It's an estwogen infestation, an estwofest," shrieks Dr. Fled Gurbledley, a Fwapping-on-the-Heath pediatrician and long-time comic book collector. "A nerdpocalypse. Massive nerdocide and so on. Sewiously. Nerds, you need to keep away from all soft plastics, or you could lose your ability to weproduce, or even to wub one out occasionally. And my name's Fwed, you cunt. Don't mock my affwiction." Nerd World Wails "I was a manly boy, a strapping lad, an athlete and all," weeps Beanobuddy, a stereotypical London nerd, in a letter to This Newspaper. "But as time went by, my once-svelte physique just kept on getting floppier and floopier, and my family jewels shrunk to the size of ancient raisins. Soon I couldn't even satisfy myself, no matter how frenzied my attempts. At first I thought I'd just had too many wanks, and possibly too many cakes, but I see now it was the plastics that are to blame." Communal toy-and-comic burnings are scheduled across the nation today, as outraged nerds and their families shrilly scream their rage. "They've neutered my wee Tom," said TomsMoms, a possibly fictitious online alias. "He always used to get a stiffy in the bath, at least, but now he's softer than a cottage cheese. We took him to the seaside last holiday to drown him but the horrible little thing was so puffed up with estrogen fat he just floated on the waves, like a fat little cork, or a spot of ambergris. I blame third-world plastics manufacturers. What I want to know is, what's Parliament going to bloody well do about it?" FlaccidLaddiebuck wrote, on an online message board devoted to the various concerns of nut-less man-boys, a particularly chilling story. "I hadn't seen myself, you know, down there, for quite some time. I couldn't see past my massive swollen 'moobs.' So, naturally, I hadn't noticed how far up my balls had retracted. Then, one day, as I was eating my pies and drinking my banana milk, I choked on something. Much to my horror, it was one of my balls. It had crawled right back up into my body, all the way up into my asophagus, and it almost choked me to death. Thank god Gran was there to suck it out of my windpipe." Thank God indeed, FlaccidLaddieBuck. Thank God indeed.

• As soon as I saw Uwe Boll I took the Lord's name in vain. Well done.

• Why would this be something to fear????

• "Rob Bricken dies mysteriously. A fox suit was found next to him. Nerds ask 'WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS???' "

• NOT ONE PIECE! D= You've found my weak point! I love One Piece. (quick trivia: I was born the same year it was first serialized! 1997 FTW!) We do have a winner, Yes we do!

• YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!

• Uwe Boll obtains rights to long-awaited "Legend of Zelda" film. Link will be played by Christian Slater and Tara Reid has been in talks to play princess Zelda.

• Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Cyborg Zombie Hitler rises from the grave! Rumors say he hates nerds now.

• All TV and movie series now required to have a tentacle rape hentai episode. They will be broadcast in every movie theatre and on every TV channel simultaneously. There will be no escape.

• DEAR GOD, NO!!

• "Lego Plastic Syndrome" discovered; impurity in plastic will cause all Lego bricks worldwide to disintegrate by 2012.

• "Zombie Apocalypse turns out to be a disater of Y2K proportions; threat isolated and swiftly delt with by government forces. "Prepared" gun-toting, shelter building nerds collectively laughted at and ridiculed by society."

• NO I WASN'T!

• (clutches failing heart)

• "4Kids Entertainment expanding its business: Looks to acquire DC Entertainment Inc. for Time Warner"

• 4Chan Raids State and Defense Department Archives for the Lulz. /b/tards post nuclear launch codes; Troll China in what has been dubbed "Project Epic An Hero".

• Yeah, 'cause Avatar is sooooo well-written... >_>

• "Micheal Bay becomes President; new law states all machines must have testicles"

• Housing Crisis Prompts Concessionary Construction: Most Households Slated to Eliminate Their Basements. Health care providers suddenly alerted to previously unknown epidemic of rickets.

• Joel Schumacher to reboot Army of Darkness, Zac Efron to star.

• Nooo. I think James Cameron is doing just fine by himself.

• I drugged the line, crossed it and came back.

• Ouch,format fail and a typo. I meant Cthulhu

• Agreed, but only because Neil Gaiman sucks. Massively overrated disney-goth; the Tim Burton of literature.

• THE HOBBIT: DEL TORO OUT, JACKSON BACK IN

• Having sex with nerds bad for popularity and health.

• Japanese Anime "the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" to be adapted in to a live action movie. The original plot, about a Japanese boy,and his classmates,including a robot,an 'esper' and a time traveling cop as well as the eponyminous Haruhi, who can warp reality to her every whim, will be localized. The film,now titled "Skool Daze" will be directed by Uwe Boll,with the screenplay by Diablo Cody. Joe Jonas will be playing the lead role of Tom,an angsty punk rocker,while Megan Fox will play Rayne,a wise cracking teenage mother with the power to ' control humanity'.All other roles to be played by the iCarly cast. Boll promises to show "Some awesome shit" is that ok? For an actual headline,how about.... "Clthu,Angels from Neon Genesis Evangelion,the Pokemon story all deemed to be real,and about to happen to you"

• This just in: Topless Robot is now considered credible news!

• OMG i would probably have to watch that...... LOL.

• All future video games put on hold until the release of "Duke Nukem Forever."

• New Star Trek sequel to feature Taylor Lautner as Khan.

• Plinkett asks:"What's wrong with your faaaaaace?" Cthulhu goes into unspeakable rampage.

• Tara Gilesbie becomes only person allowed to work on Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr. Who, or anything Whedon has ever even thought about.

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