The crazy, multiple-Tivo-owning pastor was right! Those horrible hippie-pagan-Eastern Buddhist satanists are now trying to convert the masses to their diabolical Avatar lifestyle of tree-loving, hair tentacle sex with animals, and satan worship! And they're using ChatRoulette to do it, which is technology, which is also evil, or maybe it's not evil, I can't really remember! Man, thanks to everyone who sent in this dire news. I think I'm going to seek some spiritual solace with a nap, and maybe possibly a beer.
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