It's the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy!

This thing made the kessel run in less than 12 parSEX.
Heh.

"She may not look like much but she's got it where it counts, kid!"

She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts.

Hot Damn, I'm on a ROLL!

Even I get boarded sometimes.

How is the Millennium Falcon not a chick magnet? Otherwise, excellent chart.

Don't get cocky kid

But will Han still shoot first?!

"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."

The original line (which was modified for the title) is still the best unintentionally sexual line in the film.

Boy, it's lucky you have these compartments.

Look, I want you to take her. I mean it, take her! You need all the help you can get;

Okay. Take care of yourself Han. I guess that's what you're best at isn't it?

Sorry about the mess.

Han Solo: Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.

Hooker: What happened?

Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight "weapons malfunction", but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

I'm waiting to hear about the inevitable LucasFilm "cease and desist" letter. You just know it's going to happen ...

Your father wanted you to have this, when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it.

I thought you said this thing was fast?

Be just like Beggars Canyon back home.

Control, control, you must learn control!

"I thought they smelled bad on the outside"

It came from... behind!

Here's where the fun begins!

Get in there, you big rubber oaf! I don't care what you smell!

What're you lookin' at? I know what I'm doin'.

Look at the *size* of that thing!

Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed; the ability to create simultaneous vaginal and anal orgasms is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!

You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!

You want... this....

Now I am the master!

It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port.

Judge me by my size do you?

Luke: Is the Form2 stronger?
Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.

Stop that. My hands are dirty.

Hurry up, goldenrod! Or you're gonna be a permanent resident!

It's so good to see you fully functional again. R2 expresses his relief also.

Take care of yourself Han. I guess that's what you're best at isn't it?

(now that´s a weird slogan)

"Great shot kid, that was one in a million!"

I never thought I'd be snuggling myself

I'm going in! Cover me Porkins!

Punch it, Chewie!

'At that speed are you sure you'll be able to pull out in time?'
'Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?'
'Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost... you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie.'
'I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?'
Okay, most of these aren't mine.

Hello, what have we here?

The Emperor's coming here?

You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?

I never knew I had it in me.

But how could they be jamming us if they don't know... if we're coming?

Up a little higher! Just a little higher!

This little one's not worth the effort.

Something something Han won it from Lando in a card game (or something).

"That's no poon..."

"No! THIS goes HERE, and THAT goes THERE."

Fifteen, Jabba, don't push it.

To any woman who is thinking of spending $135 + shipping on this vibrator:
-
I am available (somewhat), I will make you feel as good (if not better), My mouth feels a lot more natural than soft silicon, and I will not charge you $135 for my services.
-
In fact, if you're not a total hose-beast, I will do you for free.
-
Hell, if you want, we can role-play Star Wars. You can pretend to be Boba Fett, and I'll be Han, and we'll make some fan fiction.

Colonel Sandurz: Prepare ship for light speed.
Dark Helmet: No, no, no, light speed is too slow.
Colonel Sandurz: Light speed, too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed.

AWWW yeah!

"I have felt him, my master."

"Strange that I have not."

It's not my fault!

Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

Who's scruffy looking?

Or,

You can tell Jabba he'll get no such pleasure from us!

"It was as if millions of voices cried out at once, and then were silenced"

In garbage compactor:
Han: Get on top of it!
Leia: I'm trying!

"I feel like I can take on the whole anus and vagina all by myself!"

Only a precise hit will set up a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes.

"The force is strong with this one."

"This oil bath is going to feel SOOO good..."

Stay sharp. There's two more coming in. They're gonna try and cut us off.

"He came out (of light speed) too close...He's as clumsy as he is stupid...You have failed me for the LAST time, Admiral..."

Having the image of Leia from Thursday's list giving a drugged-up O-face only enhances this article.

Does it have a flashlight in the end of it? Can't tell if it does or if it's just an effect. And if it does...

"What an incredible SMELL you've discovered!"

"great shot kid, that was one in a million!"

"Almost...there...ALMOST...THERE...IT'S AWAY!!"
and then
"Negative, negative. Didn't go in, it just impacted on the surface." (ouch)
"Don't worry, she'll hold together. *mumble*hear me, baby? hold together."
"Would it help if I got out and pushed?""It might."
and finally,
"IT'S A TRAP!!"

People, people! We're getting off point here. These are supposed to be Millenium Falcon-centric. We're falling back into patterns of "Star Wars innuendo quotes threads" past. And lord knows we've had more than our share.

Do or do not, there is no try.

A more elegant vibrator, for a more civilized age.

It shames me to admit that I can't read this list without laughing out loud like an idiot.

http://www.keepersoflists.org/index.php?lid=1906

And they all fit your request perfectly.

"I find your lack of pants disturbing."

Darth Vader: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed

Princess Leia: I don't know who you are or where you came from, but from now on you'll do as I tell you

Obi-Wan: I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.

Obi-Wan: [to R2-D2] Hello there.
[R2 beeps]
Obi-Wan: Come here, my little friend. Don't be afraid.
[R2 beeps a question]
Obi-Wan: Oh don't worry, he'll be alright

Han Solo: This is *not* gonna work.
Luke: Why didn't you say so before?
Han Solo: I *did* say so before.

Governor Tarkin: Perhaps she would respond to an alternative form of persuasion.
Darth Vader: What do you mean?
Governor Tarkin: I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of [the form 2]

"Come on baby, hold together..."

Snakes....why did it have to be snakes?

Wait, I did it wrong.

The first thing they saw was the Millenium Falcon? It looks like a tooth to me.

i would love to see the reaction when some one goes to use that thing and unless the person is a real star wars fan. that thing may get the creepy look. not to mention the cease and desist letter from Lucas is no doubt already being drawn up by his legal team and getting ready to mail.

You would prefer another target, a *genital* target? Then name the system!

The Falcon is not admired for its looks?

huh.

This should have been a contest...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr3sBks5o_8

"I CANT HOLD IT"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"No, wait! I thought you were blind!"

"It's alright, I can see a lot better! Don't move!"

Because, after all, too much masturbation will make you go blind.

"Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?"

Dark Helmet: And what do we have, a CuisenArt?

"Get ready to make the jump to lightspeed!"

"Back door, huh? Good idea!"

"Pull out Wedge, you can't do any more good back there!"

Wait wait wait what? how will having a vibrator be a chick magnet?

That's not a small moon.....

Your thoughts dwell on....your sister...
.....
.....so, you have a sister....

C-3PO: Sir, the possibility of successfully locating the G-spot is approximately 3,720 to 1.
Han Solo: Never tell me the odds.

She's fast enough for you, old man.

This baby's got a few surprises left in her, sweetheart.

Would it helped if I got out and pushed?

Come on! Come on! Switch over. Let's hope we don't have a
burnout.

I can see many of you are overlooking the majesty that is Empire.

I'm going in closer to one of the big ones.

There's an awful lot of moisture in here.

WInner! Winner! Chicken DInner!!

This is no cave.

How the hell did everyone forget this quote?

"WHAT A PIECE OF JUNK!"

"They came from...BEHIND!"

My nerd boyfriend just dumped me and I've been feeling sad all week - that is until I read this article.

Fact.

"I want my lamp back. I'm gonna need it to get out of this slimy mudhole."

(Luke to Yoda on Dagobah)

Stay on target! Stay on target!

"You may dispense with the pleasantries commander..."
"Everything that has transpired has done so according to my ergonomic design"

Never have I wanted a vibrator more. Well done, sir.

I think Meatwad said it best when he said, "Do what now?"

Pull out Wedge, you can't do any more good back there.

All form Empire:
I hope you know what you're doing.

You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them.

Well, I guess you don't know everything about women yet.

Control, control, you must learn control!

No! Stop, Chewie, stop! Chewie! Chewie this won't help me! Hey! Save your strength. There'll be another time. The Princess. You have to take care of her. You hear me?

Hurry up, goldenrod! Or you're gonna be a permanent resident!

My lord, I've reached the main power generators. The shield will be down in moments, you may start your landing.

The Emperor commands you make contact with him.

And last but not least:

I have a bad feeling about this...

Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!

"enough of this! Vader, release him"
"no...the one that's hidden away in your rusty innards"
my new porn name: Rusty Innards

ya'll took all the good ones, but honestly I wouldn't have thought of any of 'em

no! too old he is!

too young to begin his training, he is.

Dont do that with your tongue again (at the table)

Id rather do a wookie with the Force two

Use the Force, Luke

I wanna go to toshi station and get reamed by the Force Two

Im going to F**k you hard!

[the Y-wings are running the gauntlet toward the Death Star reactor-port]
Gold Two: The guns - they've stopped!
Gold Five: Stabilize your rear deflectors... Watch for enemy fighters.
Gold Leader: They're coming in! Three marks at 2-10!
Gold Leader: It's no good, I can't maneuver!
Gold Five: Stay on target.
Gold Leader: *We're too close!*
Gold Five: Stay on target!
Gold Leader: [shouts] Loosen up!

A bit obvious but: "I HAVE you now."
"use the force luke. LET GO luke."
After Greedo's inference of Jabba taking away the MF. "Over my dead body." A stretch, but hey le petit morte?
"An elegant weapon. From a more civilized time."