By Rob Bricken in
Movies
Friday, Jul. 30 2010 @ 9:47AM
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So how is this fair? The actually somewhat-anticipated Robocop remake by noted auteur Darren Aronofsky is defunct, another victim of MGM's financial woes. Note that this is the same studio that just had to cancel the next Bond movie, and has been trying to get its shit together to make The Hobbit, as close as there is to a guaranteed smash, for years now. Sigh. Meanwhile, adding insult to injury, Sony has hired Len Wiseman -- the director of Live Free or Die Hard and the Underworld movies -- to remake Total Recall.
Fuckwagons.
Update: I'm really fucking stupid. Although I still say there's no way Wiseman improves on Verhoeven's Total Recall.
44 comments
Comments
MonsterZero said:
I'm fairly certain James Cameron had nothing to do with Total Recall. The director was Paul Verhoeven, of Robocop and Showgirls fame.
Lithroe replied to MonsterZero:
Ya, I came to point this out. I started to laugh when I read that. That is a really bizarre mistake.
Abraxas replied to Lithroe:
I'm willing to bet Rob meant True Lies
Capsulesn'Coffee replied to MonsterZero:
Lets not forget Starship Troopers.
"Service guarantees citizenship"
Justanothernerd said:
Uh, I'm pretty sure Cameron didn't have anything to do with Total Recall. Paul Verhoeven directed it. I still agree with your overall statement, though.
Rob S said:
What has James Cameron got to do with Total Recall?
Directed by Paul Verhoeven
Produced by Mario Kassar
Andrew G. Vajna
Written by Ronald Shusett
Dan O’Bannon
Gary Goldman
Jon Povill
Philip K. Dick (Short story)
(At least according to IMDB and Wiki)
Adam said:
What does James Cameron have to do with Total Recall? Didn't Paul Verhoeven direct it (which would explain why you grouped the Total Recall remake story with a Robocop remake story)?
ZADL said:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100802/
WTF Rob?
Noonan said:
Huh?
jGLZa said:
Paul Verhoeven > James Cameron
DoctorSmashy said:
Okay, I think it has been established that James Cameron is not connected to Total Recall, but getting back on topic, I'm just wondering who could possibly fill Arnie's shoes in a movie like this. Wouldn't it be weird if the guy from the Conan remake became the new Schwarzenegger?
And filling a TR remake with CGI wouldn't exactly change much, as the first one was loaded with awesome CG anyway. My only problem is that they'd probably make Kuato CG, which would NOT STAND in this nerd's eyes.
Furious George replied to DoctorSmashy:
The new Total Recall will probably star Jason Stratham, who has as much screen presence as a brick wall. It must have Michael Ironside in it, however, or the whole movie's shit.
JohnMatrix replied to DoctorSmashy:
I'm pretty sure almost everything in Total Recall was old-school model work, puppetry and practical effects. I can't think off the top of my head of any effects that were digital except the CGI ad with the space-shuttle to Mars.
DoctorSmashy replied to JohnMatrix:
The bit where he's disguised as a woman and his head opens up? The bit where he shoves that thing up his nose? There's probably others, but it's been a while since I 'Totalled It'
ZADL replied to DoctorSmashy:
Those were practical effects, not CG. The only CGI effect was the x-ray scanner.
DoctorSmashy replied to ZADL:
D'oh! Should've done the research.
JayWicky said:
New Topless Robot contest : anticipate Rob's next screw-up.
This one is hard to top.
"And I'm sure George Lucas is rolling in his grave at the thought of yet another Star Trek remake! Uh... waitaminnit... You know what ? Pour me another one."
Rob said:
Go ahead. I fucked up, no doubt. But remember, you mock me on Fridays at your own risk.
DoctorSmashy replied to Rob:
Dear God, what have we DONE?!
Brent Sienna replied to Rob:
*Meanwhile at Stately Bricken Manor*
- Rob opens the Pandora's Box of FFF -
Picture if you will the opening of the Ark from Raiders of the Lost Ark. All I know is I am keeping my eyes closed and won't coming back here until Monday once the dust has settled.
OnanRulz replied to Brent Sienna:
I can't wait to watch the Toht/Price is Right mashups this afternoon.
Abraxas replied to Rob:
psst - Rob - just edit it to "True Lies" and say your keyboard spasmed.
Testso!!! replied to Rob:
You don't scare me you wimp, Bring It On!!!!
MattisTired said:
Oh good, I might get to read some FFF that won't just make me laugh. The majority of us are numb to it by now anyways.
ZADL replied to MattisTired:
I like the funny ones most.
EVula said:
Total Recall doesn't need a relaunch, but holy crap does RoboCop deserve one.
Xenos said:
I didn't see Total Recall until years later when I was in college. I was on a trip and people were showing the movie so I sat down and finally saw it. Oddly enough I had the Dick short story in a cyberpunk anthology I had brought with me. It's barely recognizable. Though I gotta say aside from that the movie just stands badly out as a 90s relic and an Ahnold vehicle. Maybe if I had seen it in its time or on VHS when I was like twelve I'd think better of it. It has not aged well. Huh. Maybe that means a remake would be a good idea. Or maybe it means we should leave the film in 1990 and make something new.
A. Biro said:
Shameless plug
Krutz said:
What's the big deal about a "Total Recall" remake? It's not like the Arnie movie had all that much relation to Philip K. Dick's story. Dick's tale was more like a version of "The Lathe of Heaven" than what James Verhoven produced.
HDO said:
Ah, Aronofsky's movies make me want to stick pencils in my eyes anyway. No loss there.
Prophet for Profit said:
Something, something, something, new tri-boobs, something, something.
Nicnac said:
"and has been trying to get its shit together to make The Hobbit"
The way I understood it is MGM has nothing to do with Peter Jackson's Hobbit except they hold the license. As such, they are holding it hostage until they come out their financial funk.
ZeroCorpse said:
Why the fuck are they remaking "Total Recall"? Wouldn't it make MORE sense to try to do an accurate version of "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" instead of remaking the bad movie version of it?
-
Hollywood, you fucking suck.
Wyngarde said:
Robocop remake dead? HALLELUJAH! Darren's a overrated dork. (Anyone who read his treatment for homeless Batman knows what I mean...) I don't need a fast, CGI thing flipping around. Leave it alone. I've lost Transformers, G.I. Joe and many others. Leave me with Robocop.
Bill said:
You know, Len Wiseman's wife sure is SMOKIN' HOT! That's all I've got to say.
mrm1138 said:
The only way I could see a Total Recall remake being a good idea is if someone goes back the concept as it was going to be done my David Cronenberg. I don't know the full details, but I imagine it would have been far less goofy. I believe Cronenberg wanted to cast William Hurt as that main character, someone who would shock the audience when he starts flipping out and killing people. (I think there was also a rumor that, at some point, he'd swap the lead actor out once the main character had regained all his memories thus making it both an mental and physical transformation.) Unfortunately, I don't see any studio going for this. I'm guessing they'll probably cast Dwayne Johnson or Jason Statham or someone like that.
CrimsonDeath said:
Why the hell did anyone want a Robocop remake?
Krutz replied to CrimsonDeath:
Two guesses:
1. Money.
2. There's a "Judge Dredd" remake in the works, and Robocop owes a lot of its concept and look to Dredd. If Dredd can be profitable, reason #1 comes back into play.
mrm1138 replied to Krutz:
I can't really see #2 being a factor at all. Judge Dredd is more of a cult property than anything (especially in the U.S.). If anything, studio execs would be scared away by any comparison to Dredd because their only frame of reference for the character is a movie that flopped fifteen years ago.
mrm1138 replied to Krutz:
I can't really see #2 being a factor at all. Judge Dredd is more of a cult property than anything (especially in the U.S.). If anything, studio execs would be scared away by any comparison to Dredd because their only frame of reference for the character is a movie that flopped fifteen years ago.
mrm1138 replied to mrm1138:
Oops. Stupid double post.
CSK1 said:
OH FOR CHRIST SAKES, DO NOT REMAKE TOTAL RECALL!!!
That movie is a classic Sci-fi film and Verhoven at his best!
So was Robocop, but still... Both films were great for their time, they still are, but anyone that tries to remake either film today...
They will only ruin them.
Joseph Lucas,III said:
I really want a remake of the RoboCop movie, and total recall.
