• Seems like they had George Lucas in mind for sure but not R2D2. Remember the masturbation machine that was installed in the ceiling in THX 1138?

• 426 strokes EVERY MINUTE. Dude must have teflon down there.

• Only 99:99 on the timer? I'd roll that thing like the odometer on a '74 Dodge.

• BANKAI!!!!

• Anyone else notice how short that cord is? the counter box would be all over your nuts while trying to get off :( Maybe the delux version will come with a 5ft cord.

• It wouldn't surprise me in the least if there were online leader boards for this. Or one step better, just make it an official sport..I mean we already have several competitive eating leagues...

• Boy, you really let yourself go, Jackie Chan.

• Except in this case, you can't simply speed things up by biting.

• God bless the Japanese, there's nothing they can't turn into a video game.

• Choco Ball is a black chocobo attack in Final Fantasy Tactics.

• Well at least that will help you get back up again.

• My thoughts? Chocobo=FF Horse=Horse=Japanese Horse='Hung Like a...' Then again, maybe his scrotum is just covered in a thin layer of downy, light-yellow feathers.

• Hon, you wanna aim for about the same number of strokes. Trust me on that one.

• TMI Mister Owl! =[

• R2D2. . . but I thought R2D2 went inside you, not the other way around.

• It takes 400 strokes for that *porn star* dude to get off. Most guys would last much less than that. Or, if you ask my wife, much much much less than that.

• Whatever ya say Fifi.

• 426 strokes to get off? Dude must have a callus down there!

• om. just when i though japan has gone as far as they can making devices to improve one sex life . this thing comes along wonder what the reactions of customs would be if some one decided to bring that thing back to the u.s if they were visting japan. though that thing looks like a vibtrator with an air conditioner attached.

• Let me point out -- "Chocoball" is Mukai's nickname because his dark brown scrotum is said to resemble this candy: http://tomcworld.com/blog/assets/images/food/2009/chocoball.jpg soo... enjoy your whoppers, kids.

• And that's IT, That's what I needed to see to change my life...Thanx Rob, I was at a fork in my life's road, but now after seeing this futuristic dick device, I'm ready to move on from foolish things... *Starts levitating*

• I hear that's a bonus feature. Besides, enough people have whacked off to those commercials (amazing in an of itself in this era of free ubiquitous internet porn) that it qualifies on technical grounds alone. :)

• I'm glad someone finally had the smarts to add a counter to one of these devices. I finally have a way to quantitatively prove that my performance is getting better every time I use it. In the old days, I had to manually count and I lost track too easily. But, like the other poster said: is the goal to get a higher score (like bowling) or a lower score (like golf)?

• Onan pulled out, but onanism includes coitus interruptus and masturbation, as both involve spilling one's seed upon the ground. Or sweatsock.

• I am now officially afraid of Japan. Or sorry for it. I can't tell. Either way, their masturbation technology is light years ahead of ours.

• I feel real bad for your GF.

• Onan wasn't masturbating, he pulled out at the last second and came on the ground. Onanism is basically coitus interuptus.

• ...you can fuck a Shake Weight? (dials phone)

• I think everyone has missed a very important point about this...thing. Look very carefully at the, um, shall we call it an entrance? It is either shaped like a vulva or a pair of lips. I can't decide which choice is more horrifying.

• We do. It's called the Shake Weight.

• Let's find out. A-One, A-tah-HOOoo, A-three... Three.

• "Say everybody, have you seen my balls? They're big and salty and brown. If you ever need a quick pick-me-up, just stick my balls in your mouth..... Ooohhh, suck on my Chocolate Salty Balls, put em' in your mouth, put em' in your mouth and suck em' and suck em'."

• From Wikipedia... "Mukai's nickname stems from the resemblance of his dark brown scrotum to Chocoball candy." Huh. You learn something new every day....

• Anybody else see a new competitive sport?

• Wait, it takes 400+ strokes for guys to get off? As a dickless reader, this sounds like a very time-consuming, not to mention inefficient, way to go about it. I mean, god you only need 100 strokes to brush your teeth, right?

• Yowza. Between "tootsie pop", "Chocoball", "tallywacker", and the graphic in the article, I think I need an Intertubes timeout.

• well, at least they didn't put a big 'starburst' graphic with 'BAN!!'written in it, to...um...signify...victory. I don't think I'd want anything like that NEAR my tallywacker.

• I imagine the commercial for this is a variation on the "How Many Licks?" Tootsie Roll commercials. But if it's only 3 strokes, then someone has a serious problem.

• ChocoBUCKLE is the attack youre thinking of... but this made me think of FF for a different reason: Ron's scenario of beating the porn star at masturbation strokes per minute sounds like a minigame challenge in a later Final Fantasy. "Press A and B rapidly to masturbate! If you beat 400 strokes chocoball gives you a special item, if only 300 you get a phoenix down!"

• Is that 426 strokes a... a minute?!

• Just more proof that the radiation from the A-Bombs the U.S. dropped on Japan is still affecting them 65 years later.

• Isn't "Chocoball" one of the chocobos' attacks in the <i>Final Fantasy</i> series? Why is this man's name chocobo-related?! Augh!

• Seems like I should be commenting on this article...

• "In case you want to try to beat it. Him. Beat him. Masturbation." Ah, Topless Robot, how I love thee. I'm surprised something like this isn't in the States- "Honey, I'm working on my endurance!"

• "onahole" is basically another word for "fleshlight". Anything you stick your dick in that isn't a living creature is a "onahole". (Named after Onan from the bible. More conservative churches use his story as an example of why masturbation should be considered a sin.) But, yeah, there are a few of these that count how many strokes you do. (Why the hell do I know all of this stuff? Fuck you, Internet!)

• Why does it look like something from Star Wars?

• Wouldn't you want to aim for fewer strokes? Seems much more efficient that way.

• GOOD!!

TotalComments: 48