By Rob Bricken in
Miscellaneous, TV
Thursday, Jul. 29 2010 @ 3:57PM
Remember that X-Files porn from New Sensations a while back? The one with the shockingly good, interesting (and safe-for-work) trailer and the girl who looked exactly like Gillian Anderson? Well, it won a bunch of awards and got some good reviews, so of course they're making a sequel. Here's the (also safe-for-work) trailer, and tell me -- just try and tell me -- that this thing doesn't look loads better than either of the actual X-Files movies:
You can't, can you? Hell, they could probably release it without the porn and still get some interested buyers simply on production values and respect for the property alone. My only problem is if they don't decide to title this thing "The Sex Files 2: Fuck the Future" I will be incredibly disappointed.
You can't, can you? Hell, they could probably release it without the porn and still get some interested buyers simply on production values and respect for the property alone. My only problem is if they don't decide to title this thing "The Sex Files 2: Fuck the Future" I will be incredibly disappointed.
Tags: Pornography, The X-Files
31 comments
Comments
Kael said:
Holy crap this actually looks awesome. I'm a huge X-files fan and was terribly disappointed in the movies. I am actually excited about this and not just in a sexual way!
EVula said:
I actually want to get this on DVD. That'd be hilarious.
Scooter Atreides said:
That was amazing! This could be the first time in porn history that viewers will fast-forward through the sex scenes to get back to the story.
I never thought I'd live to see the day when you could imagine someone watching a porno and thinking: "When's this damn lesbian 3-way gonna end? I wanna find out what happened to he Smoking Man!"
lou-bert vs. q-bert replied to Scooter Atreides:
I was wondering the same thing, how are they gonna get double anal penetration scenes into the story?
rickicker replied to Scooter Atreides:
oh i agree, scoot! still, "the smoking man" just seems too easy to be pornographically parodied, now wouldn't you agree? XD
Scooter Atreides replied to rickicker:
That's why this is more of an homage than a parody--in a parody, the name "Smoking Man" would be modified by various phallic euphemisms.
rickicker replied to Scooter Atreides:
they should write me a check. i got TONS of various phallic euphemism up for grabs! "meathouse" is one i'm particularly proud of, along with "long john silver". XD
ScrappedAeon said:
First one was really good and had something a lot of other pornos lack (and I'm not talking plot...)
Can't wait for this one.
Bad Horse said:
"The prequel will make you believe"
in what? Tits?
Elsleyt said:
That girl who looks exactly like Gillian Anderson is Kimberly Kane. She's also in I Hit It With My Axe, a documentary webshow about pornstars (and a stripper and a hairdresser) who play D&D.
HBKnight replied to Elsleyt:
Kimberly Kane is awesome. She looks so much better with the red hair, I wish she'd keep it. They really did do an amazing job making her look like Scully in these movies, with her normal blonde hair and everyday clothes she looks nothing like Gillian Anderson.
BorgQueen said:
Not only does it look better than both of the movies, it totally kills the last like, 3 seasons of the actual show. Damn.
Roswellianism said:
Wow. Porn companies lately have REALLY stepped up their game. First, the Batman parody, not the X-Files parody sequel...
Seriously, I think the guys behind all these should make a deal with the companies that actually own the properties they're referencing/parodying to create new, direct-to-DVD films, shorts and stories. No one is going to actually watch the porn in these.
Story over sex... wow. Wonder if that's the first time this has happened....
Kaoy replied to Roswellianism:
I think we should all tip our funny hats and raise flagons of ale towards 'Pirates', the one that started the new trend.
HerBN said:
Ok, all the horror stuff might make it really moody, but won't it kill the sexy?
Won't anybody think of the erections!
Kaoy replied to HerBN:
It's a well documented fact that most men sail at about 'half-mast' while frightened. So you will be halfway there.
duckman said:
Man, I would watch this even if it didn't have porn!
Gia said:
Well, I can see how it would look good to the average dollar store and walmart person. That chick needs more than a 3 dollar wig, and sent that Guido back to Jersey! Blech.
Jerry said:
I didn't see any sex. Fail.
Krakes said:
I would watch the F___ out of this, even without the F____ing.
rickicker said:
this...this is PORN?! FUCK!! this little trailer turn IT into a legit movie, and "Sucker Punch" look like softcore PORN!!
rickicker said:
this...this is PORN?! FUCK!! this little trailer turn IT into a legit movie, and "Sucker Punch" look like softcore PORN!!
TomeMinder said:
Not only did they find a Gillian Anderson lookalike but they got a Mitch Pileggi look alike for Skinner...unless that is Mitch Pileggi, if so even more awesome.
Chugga said:
I haven't seen the first one but I just went back and watched the trailer and now I want to. For those who aren't a fan of porn (freaks) many of these movies are released as cut down versions without the sex if you're curious enough (or at least Batman and Pirates! were, and I think Star Trek may have been also).
JayWicky said:
I think the people who do this recent wave of porn parodies *do* release versions of their movies without any sex, not even softcore sex. That's why the uncut versions are like 3 hours long : you have one movie's worth, plus the fucking. They did it with the Star Trek one, I believe. It's a pretty weird idea, because it makes them all the more open to litigation, since what makes the difference with the original product is then removed, but it does happen, there are precedents. So you might get your wish fulfilled, you bunch of porn-dissing sissies.
Not A Tuna said:
Imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery. In this case the imitation however may outmatch the original. This is some impressive filmmaking in the trailer. I don't care if its porno or not!
eddie said:
wow! as a X Files fan I was seeing this and getting ready to make fun of it BUT IT LOOKS GREAT!! I still don't know what to think! I'm confused? is it porn? It looks to good! I wouldn't mind if all porn took at turn towards this. I mean those people work just as hard as all the hollywood actors and actresses that take themselves so seriously and make a hundred times more money, Awesome!
Capsulesn'Coffee said:
The first one was excellent (saw more of skinner than I needed to but oh well). It gave me more closure than the season finally of the X-files for sure. On the other hand, is it to much to ask that the lonegunman not be involved in a three way.....please?
lucchesi said:
this could quite possibly be the greatest movie of all time.
an x-files movie! done well! porn actors doing their best to act seriously and not doing a bad job! black oil plague! and best of all, titties!
Academy Award anyone? Hell yes I say.
lucchesi replied to lucchesi:
forget to mention, AND its a sequel prequel whatever and the first one was pretty good too.
shit like this may finally be the rejuvenation of porn from the ridiculous "gonzo" "ridiculously fake titties and ugly bodies" thing they've been on since rocco siffredi pretty much "revolutionized" the industry. jackass.
Asat said:
LONE GUNMEN PORN! We have officially crossed over into the Mirror Mirror universe. If and when we are visited by otherdimensional inhabitants, THEY will be the clean-shaven ones.
On the upside, we no longer have to worry about failing our alignment checks.
