Laser Guided genetic tracing Bullets with

I would design a gun that shoots an idea at my enemies, a la the blame gun from Mystery Men. It would imprint in their minds that I am Batman. There would be no more fighting, unless I happened across Bane.

I would create the Goatse Gun which burns an image of the Goatse Man onto the target's retinas which they see whenever they close their eyes. Afterward, they quickly take their own life.

I would design a gun that could shoot out another gun, which would then shoot out a small futuristic device. This device would be endowed with cosmic powers, creating a rift in the time space continuum. This rift, would enable me to go back in time to when my enemy was a baby. I would then punch him in the face. I would go back to my time. Now my enemy's life would have changed drastically because I had changed the timeline. He would now be a close friend of mine. To bad my gun can also shoot bullets, because I would then BLAST THAT MOTHER-FUCKER OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

It's a gun that when the target is shot...it explodes and candy comes out....TPC...
The Pinata Cannon.

The Z-deathray: Capable of penetrating through any solid object.
The Bad Trip: Your enemy now thinks their buddy is a seven foot tall neon green platypus that wants to lay eggs in his liver. Their attention is now elsewhere.
The Xerox: People shot with this become a copy of me. Not whoever is firing the gun. Me. Because I'm that awesome.
The Murphy: For anyone shot with this, whatever can go wrong, will. Gun jams, clip fumbles, and being squashed by an overly obese man dressed as Faye Valentine that "fell" out of a plane.

I will borrow from everyone's favorite misanthropic journalist, Spider Jerusalem, and design the Bowel Disruptor. Settings would include:
-Loose
-Prolapse
-Shat into Unconsciousness
-Unspeakable Gut Horror
-Rectal Volcano
and of course,
-Burning Anal Geyser

Not only will this horribly incapacitate an enemy, it will also cause severe psychological trauma in his compatriots.

My gun would force all the studio execs, directors, writers, and producers of shitty remakes/reboots/sequels/whatever (movies and TV) to first watch (or read) the original, then watch their own shitty version, ala Clockwork Orange, over and over until they cry like a pedophile on their first day of prison. Obviously, it would have settings for Uwe Boll, Michael Bay, M. Night, Joel Schumacher, Brett Ratner, the Smallville producers, and every single person who works for Fox. I'm sorry, I cannot link a sketch as the gun would be too horrific for anyone but the targeted to see.

A gun that allows you to take over whatever you hit, organic or technological, and it will never be lethal. So you could go into an enemy base, shoot a guy, and then use the controller on the gun to make him shoot everyone else.

I would use a teleporter gun. If you want to incapacitate an enemy, it would send him to a prison cell, or someplace really far away. If you wanted to kill him, zap him into space or under the ocean. You could even use it on yourself to get around, or move you couch.

My gun would just be a small laser pointer that would send coordinates to a receiving satellite on the moon. Then the ten thousand thrusters installed to the dark side of the moon would go off hurtling it at the marked target. It would be called the Lunar Lander.

A gun that fired ComicsNix creations (such as a "fully-functional" Optimus Prime, complete with opening crotch gate) would be nigh-on unstoppable.

My gun is the Soul Mangler. Guess what it does to your soul?

The gun I had in mind is not so lethal, but rather more of the peacekeeping variant - for controling riots and that kind of thing.

I present to you, the Chocoplosion Larsson Mk. 1. What does it do? It shoots bullets of boiling hot chocolate at your opponents, making them scream in pain and run away.

Best part? The only thing chicks love more than manly men and chocolate is manly men armed with chocolate.

Mine would be called the Ray of Epiphany. When I fire this ray its victim sees their entire life flash before their eyes causing them to reflect on everything they have said and done with their lives and wether it was the right thing to do, during the Epiphany I will smack them with the butt of The gun taking them out. Fin.

First off, anyone holding my gun would be immune to the bullets as long as it was in their grasp. It would camouflage itself, whatever the environment, as long as it was being held by someone.
It would have 3 triggers, each a different primary colour. The Red trigger would fire Wanted-style 'Magic Bullets' which phase through anything that isn't their target, and can go round corners, travelling for miles to achive its mission. The Yellow trigger would shoot incindiary bomb bullets, which explode on impact into balls of flame. And the Blue trigger would call Batman. Simple.

The Mookzooka, a weapon that contains a explosive payload that doesn't harm its targets, but instead alters the victims weapons to uzis and twin low caliber automatic pistols, on top of changing their behavior to immediately run out side of cover, screaming and holding their weapons sideways, making them really easy to kill while you do all that crazy crap you saw in the Matrix.

I would build a gun that would once fired would pause everything, start a Quicktime event that was just the movie "Die Hard" played in its entirety. After that, every model of Terminator showcased in the series would take turns using the enemy like a roll of toilet paper and lotion in a teenager's bedroom. Finally, a cyborg bear tosses a megadinooctoshark at his eye. The gun is called The Bedwetter XXXXXXX.

RCP launcher: Rocket Propelled Chainsaw launcher.

The Best There is Gun.
This six shot revolver fires miniaturized copies of Wolverine that claw the target to death, then return to their individual barrels for your next victim. It's the best there is at what it does.

my gun would fire the people who ruin our favorite shows, movies, comics, etc. with stupid decisions, thus giving us more enjoyable nerdy properties.

My future gun would be a fully-automatic chocolate-flavored mind-controlling spider-semen sniper rifle, and it would be called 'The long distance Peter'

The Butter Blaster! Tired of gunfights and wars that are hardly tasteable? Drench your enemies in a buttery vengence that will have them screaming THEY KNOW THATS FRIKKIN' BUTTER! Built in temperature gauge lets you adjust your buttery violence from Planet Hoth Frozen Solid, to Surface of the Sun Boilin' Hot! Compatable only with real butter. Slide sticks of butter into the easy to load top slots, or use the optional Backpack Butter Tub of Doom. Watch your enemies run in udder terror from the gun that churns out the frags. THE BUTTER BLASTER!

my gun would show the victim their favorite sexual fantasy, in vivid detail. then, a second before orgasm, it would make the victim aware the fantasy is being shown to everybody they know.

I would build a Gun that send brainwave to my target and overwhelm him with comments for everything he do.

The comments will be like any comments you can find on youtube or other such site, and that can be writen by any joe average who trolls because of his newfound anonymity.

My gun would capture the rage and frustration of every nerd who has had their parents carelessly discard the object of their nerdery, whether a box of beloved comic books or a favorite action figure. It would store this anger in a super-soaker-esque receptacle, until such time as this fury would shoot forth at my direction, causing a wave of nerd-rage destruction.

It is the Nerderator 3000. Beware its power.

The Wilhelm Gun: This gun would make a large drop-off or pit appear next to the target. The target would feel compelled to jump and Wilhelm as they fall to their death. At which point his partners would yell OMFG he Wilhelmed no way! This lapse in concentration would of course leave them open to a shot from the Wilhelm gun. Rinse and repeat.

Meat gun. It fires meat, fully cooked and ready to eat. You could use it against soldiers who, if they're anything like American soldiers, are typically underfed, so they'd gladly stop to eat if fired upon. Also it would work well against bears, wolves, dogs, possibly sharks and komodo dragons. Maybe even regular dragons. Also I could turn it on myself when I'm hungry.

The FFF-porn-gun
A gun that emits a ray that make it targets to recreate the last fanfic it have read.
Q: Wouldnt that be horrible the shooter as well
A:Im a pacifist, firing a gun should never be done without consequences

Orca launcher. Because Killer whales are fucking scary. Also, this overuse would eventually make them extinct. Which is great. BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING SCARY.

A gun that shoots thousands of bees that are carrying guns that shoot bees.

The Yummy Cummy Gun.
It would shoot chocolate-flavoured cum - and whomever gets hit by it would automatically be my (sex) slave.

Sorry, I had to say it. I'm surprised no one's brought it up yet!

My gun would project hallucinations, making attackers believe that they were heading for a special showing of The Phantom Menace. They would flee in disorder or in some cases commit suicide. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster, a weapon for a more civilized age.

I have always liked the "Blame Thrower" from Mystery Men. I think it would be an interesting weapon to use, you point it at your enemies and all of a sudden their filled with inexplicable indignant anger at their own teammates, hell they even start fighting with each other. I would love to have a weapon like this in real life, if my girlfriend is mad at me I just point it at her and all of a sudden she starts fighting with her Mother, and I get to go back to my Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathon, YAY!!!!

My gun would be a partially organic, partially metallic cyborg cat that can shoot lasers, with a built in flux capacitor (no need to reach 88 mph), so that I can hightail it out of precarious situations, then go into the past and fix it so that I would win. Also, there's a button on the gun that, when pushed, plays a recording of Tom Hardy saying "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling" right before blasting an enemy's head off.

I'll keep it simple:

My gun never runs out of ammunition, it never jams, and the parts don't wear out. It is 165% reliable, and will last until the end of time. Everything else is immaterial.

I would build an edible gun made of fondant and candy and with "rubber bullets" made of gum and an option to shot normal bullets made of sugar glass. Think about the uses of a gun where you can literally eat the evidence! Well i guess you wouldn't want to eat the bullets if you shot someone with them I guess yo could if your into that sort of thing or in a FFF entry.

a gun that propels the target 30 seconds into the future.

Against a single target, you could shoot him, then move an object into the same space he was in.

Against multiple targets, you can unleash all sorts of chaos.

I would call it "X-Gun: Fuck the Future"

THE WUUUUUURRRRRRRDDDDOOOO gun, basically you just fire and the bullet stops 2 feet from you and you can keep it in place there for as long as you want, you can keep in place as many bullets as you want granted you have the ammo for it, once an enemy enters the line of sight of the bullet it starts moving, downside is the bullets only recognizes the weapon user so everyone else is screwed.

It's a little thing i'd like to call The Ex-Wife, Law-Giver styled gun that shoot ridiculously overpriced alimony checks at people as well as a special rocked called "Mother-In-Law's Mouth" that pretty much devours everything in front of the gun.

The Black Hole Gun: Fires bullets that turn into black holes once they hit their target, and then, SHUUMP! they disappear into a singularity.

Waterballoon gun, said waterballoons filled with chunks of Rob's brain after reading the Pokemon Story, Redux. Also his diarrhea.

To quote Psychostick "a cannon that shoots crocadiles at everyone you hate? What if those crocadiles could shoot heat-seeking killer bees ensuring that there would be no escape."

So yeah Cannon->Croc->Killer Bees (Heat Seeking).

I have a gun that shoots Spidy Semen, headshots, though it takes roughly 2 minutes to reload as I'd have to jerk off Spiderman.

I just want the gun I saw in 321 Contact magazine as a kid, dammit.

It's the one that fires foam that rapidly hardens until it's like cement, which can't be removed without a special chemical solution.

And the foam in the picture looked like delicious peanut butter. Even better.

The article said that the Foam/Cement/Delicious Peanut Butter Gun would be used by cops within ten years. That magazine came out somewhere around 1993. You lied to me, Contact.

Failing that, I want a gun that fires delicious peanut butter. Because that would be awesome.

Sadly, most of the awesome fictional guns have been taken, like the one that fires sharks that burrow underground, or the one one that fires electrified shurikens. I guess I'd just have a gun that fires bacon.

my ultimate gun would shoot live velociraptors and the velociraptors would shoot killer bees out of their mouths. there would be a grenade launcher attached as well and it would fire mystical wolf poo that exploded (a la okami).

The Love Gun. It fires a 200 grain, .50 cal bullet made of pure love, capable of blowing a mans head clean off. Why? Because love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and marks.

This is more horrible than I want it to be, but:

1. Shoot target
2. Bullet deploys into billions of nano-Gilbert Gottfrieds
3. Nano-Gotts infest all cells in target's body
4. Nano-Gotts being violently humping the cell walls
5. Nano-Gotts hump their way through the cell walls, killing the target in a most excruciating way.
6 (optional setting). Once target is destroyed and Nano-Gotts are free, Nano-Gotts do that annoying Gilbert Gottfried sound, driving all nearby targets insane.

A gun that shoots thoughts. You would focus on the thought in your head and aim at your target. That thought would immediately become the number one priority in that individuals life. Serious hilarity, violence, and or confusion would ensue.

The deadly BayGun fires tiny clones of Michael Bay at your opponent. If they hit, the explode unnecessarily, almost like they're compensating for a lack of imagination in their attack strategy. If they fail to hit the target directly, the tiny clones will gather around him, screaming, cursing, and ranting until he goes insane. At that point, they ALL explode.

BayGun is not compatible with the FoxLauncher attachment.

My ideal future gun would be a banana.
I could walk around pointing it at people and the police wouldn't be all over me for it and I probably wouldn't put my eye out.
As a bonus, I think we've got the technology to produce them right now.
You can see a picture here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana

I want a gun that shoots out blowjobs.

First, a serious idea. this would really confuse people in an actual battle: a gun that fires at the target, but from a random angle so they're not expecting it; in short, it teleports the bullets.
More lightheartedly, a gun that fires an audio blast of Vogon poetry.

What would the Gun of the Future fire?

The Future, of course. The gun basically locally accelerates time to rot anything away. You can't fight the future. :)

A semi-automatic rifle with a flamethrower's igniter tip, dual-loading two distinct ammo types. The first ammo is a specialized Compressed Hitler round; the second is standard 5.56x45mm. Each pull of the trigger first launches a Compressed Hitler that passes the igniter, catches fire, and expands to full size mid-flight. Immediately after, as the Hitler shoots through the air at the target, the 5.56 round is fired, punching through the back of the head, through the face, continuing on to the victim. The victim's last sight is screaming, flaming Hitler's face exploding before being shot. Two birds, one stone.

on a random note, did you know that for a short period of time US forces were trying to create a "love bomb"? It's not strictly a gun but supposedly was designed to make enemy soldiers horny. The idea ws that they would be too busy being horny with each other to fight. It sounds like a pretty standard FFF actually...

I would make a gun that shoots out Spider-Man's chocolate-flavored hypno-semen.

And it would be shaped like a penis.

And it would be attached to Spider-Man's crotch.

What I'm trying to say is that it's Spider-Man's dick.

Dear lord, Topless Robot! You've ruined me forever!!!!

The Brown Note : A sonic gun causing your enemy to violently void their bowels. Fun for the whole family.

I would resin a gun that would shoot out the spirit of jar jar binks to follow he victim around until they kill themselves. It's an intractable crime.

One word:

MEGATRON.

The XF-1 from Fifth Element, with two added modifications: (a) the chainsaw from Gears of War fitted on it for close combat, and (b) an orgasm setting like the gun from Orgazmo, for when I come home to my wife at the end of the day.

I'd like whatever gun it'd take to get a t-shirt from Rob as I held it to his AT-AT.

I would build a gun that shoots The God-Damned Batman! He Wins... end of story..

I've always wanted a crossbow that shoots lightsabers.

The isolated time bubble gun.
It would create a time field that would allow you to reverse or speed up time in a localized area, but only for nerd purposes.
Can't wait for a movie to come out? the release date is now tomorrow.
The movie sucks?
Go back in time and bitch slap the director into shape

I would create a gun that would cause the target's physical appearance to be altered to reflect their personality. The worse a person they are, the uglier they look. Of course, due to biological concerns, they would remain humanoid no matter what their personality was like (no slugmonsters or anything). And yes, those affected would be able to improve their appearance by becoming better people.

A Captain Power-style gun designed to fire electronic signals directly into the average computer monitor. These signals then latch on to the IP address of the desired target and manifest as hollow-point bullets on the far end, thus solving the Internet troll problem almost instantaneously. I could market this and make countless millions.

Nanaporbes encased in a glass bullet. They eat any non-organic material (besides glass) that they come in contact with. (good side effect it can disable the opponent's guns.)
You follow it up with the optional Ooze Launcher.
A viscous mix of hallucinogens easily absorbed through bare skin.
I call it the Nudity and hallucinating gun-inator!

The STJT article from Wednesday inspired this idea: The FleshLight Gun. Shoots Fleshlights at the enemy...every 5th one is a dildo, kinda like tracer bullets. (And so as not to discriminate.)

Why did I just write that???

hen fired, the persons mother in law will constantly annoy him in his head until it explodes, if not married then the guys mother nags him until his head explodes.

A gun that fires lego at fatal velocities. Spikey small most god-aweful lego pieces. Whoever it doesnt kill, will be forever mained in the foot when they step on it.

I call it the portable fanfiction bomb. it's a simple pump action grenade launcher - except that when these bombs explore everything in the immediate surroundings is forced to re-enact a scene from the nearest open work of fanfiction. the advanced version of the weapon, dubbed the ComicsNix, actually tansport the victims into the fiction and the only way out of it alive is to live through the story as a character. it pretty much turns its victims into fans of TR although the lucky ones become vegetables.

a rocket launcher that fires kitten's, lubed by orphans tears and the blood of the innocent, it would be made out iron smelted by the homeless in forced labor camps and blessed by the pope, it would be the ultimate weapon as any country you face with ethics would surrender before you armed your soldiers~

How bout a gun that shoots sadness. Hear me out now; I'm not talking normal "oh man my day sucks" it would be the level of sadness and hopelessness you felt when you realized your favorite franchise has been Pittsburgh steamered and gang banged by Hollywood.

Imagine a gun that would make normal people feel the same pain you had to endure when you watched the Star Wars prequels or Transformers movies. Then the normal people would finally understand our gripes!

a combination AK 57 oozie radar laser triple-barrel double-scoped heat-seekin shotgun.

My futuristic gun would be deviously simple. The barrel is cylindrical, with a smaller cylinder on top and bottom extending the opening, making a very oddly shaped opening. Each time you shoot it, a smaller but identical gun comes out of the three side cylinders, which then would create an even smaller set of guns, and an even SMALLER set of guns, ad infinitum. The infinite gun fractal (a fragtal, if you will) would then shoot the equivalent of one whole bullet, segmented into an infinite amount of pieces, piercing the target down to a molecular level. Yes, my future-gun is based on a Mandelbrot Set. A Mandelshot, if you will.

My gun would be housed in the kneecaps of my Japanese robots.They would be voice activated by me saying "J knee's gotta gun."

Please don't hate me for that horrible pun.

After reading this comp info my mind just instinctively jumped to one thing. A bazooka that shoots sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads. We've seen them just swimming around an evil tank, and yet they're still scary as hell, but we've never seen what they're fully capable of whole traveling through the air at hundreds of miles an hour.

Anyway, long time reader, first time poster, although only just because I spent ages looking for the register button somewhere up top and almost gave up.

Wide scatter burst gatling shotgun w/ irradiated ballbearing loads. 6000 shots per minute. 100s of lethally irradiated ball bearings per shot. Mount on an unmanned aircraft. What isn't killed in the rain of metal dies within days from accute radiation poisoning. Why risk retribution from orphans/widows, ya know?

The Welfare Rifle. When fired, it summons a trashy underage skank and a massive swarm of shrieking, malnourished, filthy, partially naked offspring. The skank stands there screaming into a cell phone about someone owing her money for either a drug deal or a sexual favor and ignores the offspring while they run in circles, make random incredibly loud noises, and destroy whatever may be around them. This continues until the target takes his or her own life.

The Lundgrenade Launcher fires approximately 800 mini-Dolph Lundgrens per second. Each mini-Dolph is fully automated, self-governed and comes equipped with the standard issue boxing trunks and gloves of the former Soviet Union. Alternate LL ammo includes Punisher Lundgrenades, Universal Soldier Lundgrenades and the all powerful Swedish-Reality TV Lundgrenades. Once again, each is completely self-governed. You don't even have to aim 'em. Just kind of spray 'em around, lay down some fire and watch them destroy civilization as we know it. Now let's take that hill!

A Supersoaker filled with Batman piss.

Ammunition: RARE

Results in stun, horror and loss of faith.

I would love a gun that when shot at a female target initiated the release of estrogen and progesterone into the ovaries, thus stimulating ovulation. They become sexually crazed and attack the nearest man/woman/stockyard animal with unsatiable passion. When shot at a man he becomes self-loathing, acquires a love of fine nerd-themed figurines, and becomes uncomfortably sexy.

We should call it the Rob Brick-gun.

A gun that shoots bullets that creates miniature black holes upon impact that sucks enemies through the portal and turns their bodies inside-out on the other side. Let the people 'over there' clean up the mess...

I'm also a long-time reader, first time poster, figure I'd give it a shot.

Are we going for scary or funny?

Here is scary:

A paintball gun loaded with balls filled with a below-lethal dose cocktail of phalloidin, and tetrodotoxin, dissolved in DMSO. On skin contact, the round will cause instant paralysis to the victim and anyone within the splash radius. The paralysis will be followed by a decrease in blood pressure/heart rate/respiration and unconsciousness.

I lied. I don't have a funny one.

Well, mine isn't SUPER crazy but...

As a kid, my mom would buy a BILLION of those stupid yellow, #2 pencils. And I always used mechanical. So I designed a revolver-type gun that could use them as ammo:http://i28.tinypic.com/21ahcu0.jpg

Besides, death by pencil is pretty hilarious. And distracting! Even if you don't KILL an enemy, the pencil protruding from their eye will keep them busy.

It would be an arm mounted cannon that would launch rice sized anti-matter diluted down with inert material to make a sort of micro atomic blast. Attach a seeker feature to a capsule and instant smart weapon. You could also turn it into an anti-tank weapon as well as a bunker buster if you make the anti-matter concentration higher.

A biological warfare device, fashioned into a cannon. Creates Mental flaws in one's enemies. Near an asymmetrical dining set? OCD setting. Fighting many at once? You could conjure up some mass hysteria,and make them play dead- until they are. For subtle espionage, you can instill feelings of inadequacy. And- you can make people temporary nymphos. Hells yes.

I would invent the chuck. A gun that shoots round house kicks to the face.

The Strangle Cannon. When you pull the trigger a hand shoots out and strangles the nearest unlucky son of a bitch till they turn purple.

A gun that causes the enemy's pants to suddenly erupt in hideous screaming is the way to go. Seriously, when their pants start to scream in agony the enemy will be forced to drop their trousers, leaving the most important target on their body vulnerable: their crotch. Once you take that kind of shot, well, what is there left that could possibly be worse?

The Mancannon™: Shaped like a human mannequin, hollowed out and with a hole in the top. A pull of the trigger (located in the crotch area, naturally) triggers the gun’s black-hole suction system, pulling in whatever poor sap you’re pointing it at. Once inside, a powerful acid compound eats through the target’s clothing. A second pull of the trigger launches the target with a force of 52,000 Newtons, which transfers to the target’s body from a massive explosion inside the cannon (also in the crotch area). Comes with a convenient shoulder-strap for carrying and “creamy, chocolate-flavored” polishing powder.

I'm gonna keep this short and simple:
I want a gun that can turn anything else into a gun.
Teddy bear gun,
Pencil gun,
Shoe gun,
People gun,
And so on.

How about a gun made from Nic Cage? He would turn into a gun like Megatron and fire hairpieces that affix themselves preternaturally to the targets, giving your favorite uncle, balding pets, or cold impersonal toaster a tremendous skullet or ghostly widow's peak.

Phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range?

Come on guys, that's a standard in the science fiction industry.

As far as the contest goes, this one's side effects randomly include the gamut of cheesy special effects. Mutation (Robocop, The Fly), robotification (Superman 3), electrocution, paralysis, reanimation, vaporization, or pretty much any odd thing you can remember seeing in a movie.

I want a gun that shoots people full of alcohol, so I can watch my enemies wander around drunkenly to my amusement and/or die of liver poisoning. Friendly fire would be awesome too!

A gun that burns horrible erotic fanfiction into someone's brain.

Easy, a gun that sprays the mating pheromone of an Elder God onto my enemy. 'Cause really, what's worse then being mated by Cthulhu?

The Henson

The Henson is a gun that when you shoot someone it makes their skin turn to felt and/or hair shoots out to give them a monster type look about them. Side effects could randomly happen based on the victims DNA in which they could turn into various animals or have large, grotesque, but still lovable features. In some cases, the changes could make a person appear more menacing, become more evil, or even in few cases wiser.

In the end though, the victim found his/her new life and appearance more rewarding than the conflict he/she was in before being shot and decided to go sort out this new existence that was bestowed upon them.

The Hensen isn't exactly lethal, but makes people question their own existence as a human Muppet.

Here's how one victim is coping:

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100325153947/muppet/images/thumb/7/7d/Sweetums-bogencounty.jpg/300px-Sweetums-bogencounty.jpg

a gun that shoots a magic bullet that, as it approaches its target, shows him a vision of the exact moment when he dies. Also the magic bullet works as a regular bullet so the victim often only sees a second into the future before he is messily killed by the magical bullet in a traditonally bulletty fashion.

The Rude Comment Gun

This gun requires no ammunition, only 2 AA batteries. The gun has a scanner that fully scans the unfortunate target, searching for their flaws. Upon detection, it compiles an insult from its databanks and fires the bad feelings at the poor soul.

*WARNING* Point blank execution has been known to result in the targets mother waking up sore all over.

Because realism is the name of the game, a gun that kills not only the target, but his or her entire family. Saves ammo for organized crime families. In truth, the weapon is one of fear since most people are more reasonable when their families are on the line.

The viral gun. It fires buttons that feature a bizarre symbol and pithy, cryptic statement easily mistaken for the beginning of some new viral marketing campaign. As they pin the button proudly to their shirt and wander off to speculate on what new movie or game they might be advertising, they fail to notice the beeping coming from the button until they're smeared across the pavement.

Simple enough.

A gun that, when fired, determines WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS.

This impressive piece is a .50 caliber handgun with 9 1/2 inch barrel(respectably big, but not cartoonishly huge)and a pair of heavy, low-hung cylinders.

Unarmed targets are consumed by incapacitating envy for the bearer of such magnificent equipment. Armed foes begin to question the potence and effectiveness of their suddenly inadequate weapons. Everyone who lays eyes on the person endowed with such ordnance is filled with respect and admiration.

Ladies and Gentlemen, for your consideration: The Sig-Sauer Sigmund.

(note: not effective on female targets)

For funny... a grenade shooter that launches shells that spray out marjuana smoke under high pressure, making everybody around it stoned and incapable of fighting back... a guns that fires sticky glue-filled rounds that leaves its target stuck to its surroundings... A bolo-gun that fires weights connected by a cord or cable that tangle around the target, severly limiting its movement. For serious... A shotgun that can also fire a mini shaped-charge explosive, capable of punching through 1 inch steel plate... a gun that launches a short range RPV: When the gun is aimed at a target and "fired", it shines an infrared laser at a target AND launches a tiny RPV that homes in on the beam reflection. The RPV can be one of many types like an explosive warhead, a poison dart, or a transmitter to listen in on a distant target... A short-range mass-kill gun that fires lenghts of chain at cannonball speed,(This was actually tried by mythbusters) which flail around and rips its targets apart.

Name: THE FATHER

Appearance: It's shaped very much like a television remote control attached vertically to a horizontal 2x4 with duct tape.

Primary (defensive): Firing off a steady stream of loud, rhetorical questions, the victim can only stop, stare, and wait for it to end. (Effect: PBAoE, Minor DMG, Knockback)

Secondary (offensive): Once fired, the victim faces unrelenting tickles. Over time, one can expect urination or terrible cramps. (Effect: Close, Major DMG, Single Foe)

Tertiary (peaceful resolution): The gun magically spits out currency, usually fives, tens, and twenties. (Effect: Ranged, No DMG, Multiple Foes)

The PoppaOooooMowMow. It does absolutly nothing but makes a cool POPPA OOOOMOWWWMOWWW sound. Poppa OooooMowwwMowww!! poppaoooomoowwwmowww...poppaooomoooowmoooowww

I personally always liked the cow launcher from the first South Park video game. The game was terrible, but I loved playing multiplayer mode and ambushing people. Imagine minding your own business when all of a sudden a cow lands on your head! Brilliant!

The Cereal Gun. It turns your enemy into cereal. You can choose from Raisin Bran, Count Chocula, Cap'n Crunch, Rice Cripsies or whatever strikes your fancy. The enemy goes from being a threat to freedom to being part of a balanced breakfast. Ceral Guns will come with a bowl, a spoon and a carton of a milk.

Okay, this gun would shoot pocket vaginas filled with razor sharp chomping teeth. I think it would be an awesome way to thin the competition. Can't get laid? Make everyone in your town but you a eunich.

My design is quite simple. It's a puke gun. No, not a gun that launches vomit... that's just silly. It's a gun that causes the target to vomit. Repeatedly, if necessary. And just because I'm an evil bastard, I'd offer the poor victims a bucket... that also happens to be a puke-activated explosive device. What?

My future gun would feature a chain-saw bayonet like the lancer in Gears of War, but instead of sharp tines the chain would be lined with dicks. Big, veiny, triumphant shlongs, that would slap the victim in the face, about 120 dickslaps per minute. This, of course, would not be lethal, but the gun would also shoot bullets. The repeated dick slaps would just be awesome and hilarious.

I want a gun to shoot Anakin Skywalker; it will literally shoot a whiny, confusing, emo Jedi at people, lightsaber first. Those that aren't killed outright will commit suicide when they realize that they have to put up with Anakin.

As a bonus, you can shoot it off a cliff and just kill Anakin if he gets too much for you. (Doubles as a great firework too!)

The riddlin' naked mole rat rifle. R-NaMoR for short. One pull of the trigger and a tiny naked mole rat flies out and latches onto the face of your enemy. Now everyone knows that naked mole rats are fucking creepy weird to begin with, and now there's one on your face. And then it tells very complex riddles.

So you can either kill the poor guy, or let him wallow in self-deprecating misery as he has his small amount of intelligent consciousness scrambled by the inquiring mind of one of the ugliest little fucks on Earth.

Merchandise Gun. There's several settings; action figure, prequel comic, trading cards, T-shirts, etc. and the gun will produce one based on what it's shooting.

So if I point the gun on my car, and set it to 'prequel comic', the gun will produce a prequel comic based on my car. It works on pictures too; It can make a Topless Robot action figure from the website banner.

A gun that fires squids. I mean, what the fuck? It's a squid! Apart from grossing out the enemy with it's clammy flailing tentacles, those crazy scientists made the squid explode after 10 seconds, allowing a wider area of squid.

I would have a hand-cannon, that shot head-seeking Buckets Of Truth. Yes, just like in the UCB episode. For the unenlightened:

When a human being gazes into its truthy depths, they come into intellectual possession of immutable, unmitigated truth. Looking into the bucket for even a single moment drives most human beings irrevocably insane. So just imagine a whole clip full of those fuckers, all head-seekers.

My future gun would be a dachshund named Lassoo that fires exploding baseballs and that can transform into a tank. Not only is it a useful weapon, but a constant and loyal, if somewhat stupid, companion as well.

Who's a good doggun? Lassoo is, yes, he is. He's a good doggun.

The Overcompensator.

10cm bullets. Not mm, cm. That's one solid decimeter of pure bullet coming out of the hot shaft of your steel death-rod, hitting the opponent like a flower of pain and death, a veritable facial of doom. It's not a hand cannon, it's a hand nuke. 3 feet long, with room for 6 bullets in its revolving cylinder, and a katana-styled bayonet attatchment if you think your doomcock isn't making your opponents shit themselves to death fast enough.

The Overcompensator. It shoots through gods.

Available anywhere debilitatingly manly items are sold.

The Pacifier: Redux is the greatest gun ever invented! Have you ever worried about the amount of non violent hippie pacifists that rare spreading across the globe? Well, worry no more! The Pacifier: Redux makes non violent hippie pacifists into a useful resource for our armed forces, by simply firing them at incredible speeds towards the enemy! Not even the most religious of fanatics, or the most fanatic of religious people, will stay long after seeing a peace loving hippie coming right at them, screaming in pain while the incredible speed peels the flesh off its face! The pacifier: Redux!

Every time my bullet hits an enemy, it creates good art. A piece of music, a painting. It hits you, you die, and good art is spawned.

I would use the Retcannon. It's kind of a bulky weapon, but any target it hits it retconned out of existence. Another sperm got to the egg first if you will.

The ammunition is forged out of how comic book writers dissatisfaction with other writers stories. Fortunately this is plentiful, as you need to keep using it until the person who replaced the victim made significantly different choices and is no longer in your way.

Order now and you get the preserver pack that ensures history remains the same despite your meddling.

Ever since I played 007 Golden eye for n64 I realized despite being a shooter game by default every shooter must include throwing knives. So... why not... make a knife gun! And I'm not talking about shooting like a normal bullet or like a crossbow, they have to be thrown. My idea is get one of those revolving barrels from a minigun but instead rotate the barrels 90 degrees so the rotating action flings the knives in incredible numbers and armor piercing speed at the enemy.

it's a gun that shoots dick spitting goats. you're in your office minding your own business you hear a gun shot! what was it your windows broke there's a goat in your city! you stare at him like how'd you get in here just as you say this he pukes up a mans dick on your caroet "what the fuck! what the fuck! says you and then those human disembodied dicks throwup small snakes which crawl in your ears and eat your brain and turn you into a terrie shivo!

The C3-WHO, more commonly known as the 'Caruso/Caine Cannon'. It sports a built in silenced firing mechanism that turn each gun shot into a witting one liner. Upon termination of the target, it confirms via built in vital checkers in each round and alerts the user with a 'YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!'.

My Weapon of choice? The deadly R.P.S.C.L., or Rocket Propelled Screaming Child Launcher. This baby fires a small thermonuclear screaming child warhead, which utilizes one of those horrible, ear drum rupturing screaming children (you know the kind I mean, the sort that holler and tantrum for their parents to buy them more ice cream or they'll keep screaming indefinitely) to their utmost combat effectiveness. the child generates sound up to 200 decibels in flight, and the ensuing explosion can level a city block. See the attached schematics and test images for more details.

Attached Image: http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/2614/rpscl.png

A gun that fires Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.

A Relaxatronic Automatic.

Aim it at an approaching enemy, and fire. It puts them in a Hawaiian shirt, lies them in a hammock and gives them a Pina Colada. The enemy is suddenly too relaxed to bother fighting you anymore.

I'd want a 4Kids gun. It would be shaped like a water pistol and would fire rubber stamps with a 'CENSORED' bar on them. Whoever got hit by the stamps would suddenly and inexplicably turn into large-eyed proportionately inaccurate versions of themselves with either invisible weaponry, severely downgraded weaponry or no weaponry at all. They’d be incapable of wanting to do anybody any damage, and even if they did inadvertently cause any damage it would come in the form of black lines that would easily wash off with soap and water.

PS. The lack of violence is my oestrogen talking.

Magnetic INduction DEtonation Round: 12.7mm+ ammunition class, designed as an anti-materiel weapon: upon passing arming distance after firing, the round uses an inertial capacitor to generate a 4/5-meter [REDACTED] EM field, designed to prematurely detonate certain materials (double-base smokeless powders, RDX/TNT compounds, most piezo-electric warhead triggers) within it's radius. Considered a more "humane" alternative to the Shanghai-Coop 14.5mm "Baba" round, which works in a similar way, albeit on hemoglobin.

I present to you, the gun of tomorrow; the Aizen Gun.

What this beauty does is that it makes whoever is shot with it go back in time to the point of their infancy, and they will relive their entire life up until that point, but with a whiteclad asshole tormenting them for the rest of their life up until the point where they were shot, where the shooter will declare that he has already won, and nothing they do will make any difference. And then he gets shot again, but now the Aizen gun is lethal.

The Aizen Gun; it doesn't only kill you, it also ruins your life.

I just want a damned portal gun. Then I want Alyx Vance to sit on my face.

The Pakkifist.
Everyone would always believe it was pronounced 'pacifist' and expect a really prissy gun that wouldn't do much. Then I would surprise them by firing a large Pakistani fist out of the barrel.

Dammit Rob, this is going to sound like a ripoff, but I have long wanted a Bear-zooka. So I can KILL PEOPLE IN THE FACE!

WITH BEARS!

INNA FACE!

The Shinji Ikari gun.

Name: God Gun/The Dawkinator

Specs: Shoots all forms of various, fictional, omnipotent beings at the target causing random miraculous events to occur.

Ammo: Omnipresent beings thus ammo is infinite.

As a pacifist, I've always lived by the "you can't hug with fire-arms" mantra. That is why my gun would shoot hugs. HUGS THAT KILL.

The Edgar Allen Pulveriser.

Any person shot by this immediately must seek out their nearest cousin and marry them.

Failure to marry a cousin causes the victim to implode into a gothic vortex.

WITH MUCH DEFECATION.

The TARDIS gun. It uses explosive rounds and always has a head shot (for maximum corrective surgery). You can set a target at whatever time/date you want and shoot him through time and space. The gun opens up 2 small rifts in time and space. One at the end of the barrel and as well as the back of your targets head at the time you set it as well as another for visual recording. Take your target out and witness it from your time. You want to take care of George Lucas before the prequels? Done. Just set it for May 25th 1990. Want to whack Michael Bay before he has a chance to defend himself with special effects, such as Mysterio would. Well then set it for February 17th, 1985 for one of the greatest birthday gifts for Nerdkind.
Other recommendations for TARDIS Corrective Surgery would be FOX executives, Uwe Boll, Fred Phelps, Joel Schumacher, and Jeph Loeb.

My future gun is a magnetically propelled rail gun. Specifically, it's a light rail gun, designed to fire full sized locomotives at my enemy. Mounted in a trainyard, the device would produce devastation and psychological trauma to any enemy who looked into the heavens and say an entire steam locomotive, whistles blaring, engines turning, sailing magnificently into their being.

Picture warfare where the final shot of Back to the Future 3 is a common sight.

A gun that shoots teeth. You can use any kind of teeth as ammunition. Human molars for a slug type entrance wound. Shark, bear, lion teeth for piercing capabilities. Dinosaur teeth to impale those pesky vampires. Snake fangs laced with venom to paralyze your enemies. Zombie infected teeth to curse your arch nemesis with undead damnation. Best part is how badass you’d look carrying the skulls of all your kills. It’s never been so practical. The trail of your dead seriously becomes a limitless ammo supply, just like in video games.

The Economizer 5000. Shoots money. Hey, you said gun of the future, I figured fuck it, think pro-actively.

The Retro Time Warper. It allows you to reverse time by no more than ten minutes by shooting your game console with it. It would come in handy after buying a shitty game such as BlackLight: Tango Down.

The KYEWAT Pistol (Kill Your Enemy With Amusing Things)

The Pistol will contain an pocket dimension. using gravitics it accelerates an object from the pocket dimension to supersonic speeds and ejects it out the end of the barrel.

drawbacks: never know what will be shot out. it could anything from the space shuttle to Micheal Bay's severed head or even the entire cast of cats.

the enemy will have to cling to sanity when without warning a skyscraper, a helicopter and rob are flying at them at seemingly impossible speeds.

Finger Gun: Due to the increase in telepathy in the future... all you must do is make a gun with your fingers (like you do as a child- index finger and thumb) and make a POW sound, and whoosh a telepathic bullet comes out. The bigger the "pow" the bigger the bullet... also the rata-tat-tat you might do would make it a full auto! Just watch for saying "click click click" then you're out of bullets!

Why settle for just a handgun? With the iGun you can make a phone call, read a book, catch up on your favorite soap opera, listen to the newest hit from Lady Gaga, take a photo *BANG* ...Apple is not liable for misuse of the iGun.

Since my last entry only made me feel ashamed of myself, here's a new one:

Anti Batman Repellent Spray Gun - sharks have a right to defend themselves to!

I want a gun that fires crippling regret. Hit an enemy with it, and they collapse to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably for hours.

Tell me that wouldn't scare the hell out of your enemies.

A gun that shoots severed zombie heads. Think about how much damage you can do with that.

Get your Hippie Dart Gun! This high tech rifle delivers a dart to the neck of enemy combatants which secretes a powerful neurotoxin. The neurotoxin quickly gets to work and transforms your targets into peace-loving hippies who instantly throw their weapons and ammunition to the ground in a sign of protest. Each Hippie Dart Gun comes with a special gift of a Ham-O-Matic, ham launcher, the perfect way to scare useless hippies of your property!

An explosive acidic flaming vorpal plasma laser dart nuclear mine rail launcher. I call it... The overkill. My recommendation: stay well back when firing.

A gun that shoots shurikens and lightning, has tits and is on fire.

A gun that shoots Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. You know you want one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUJzYSswcj0

In the post apocalyptic wasteland of the future there is only the

SHOTGUN BATTLEAXE

It's a gun, Frank. A gun that shoots swords.

The Magna-gun. Makes whatever it hits magnetic. People, animals, plants, rocks, all of them suddenly attracting metal. But wait, there's more! The gun has two option settings. The first allows you to control how powerful the effect is, ranging from the harmless but inconvenient "computer destroyer" to the utterly deadly "pincushion" mode. The second setting allows for you to target what metals exactly are attracted. Want to kill him with a nickle? Ramp it up to max magnetism and toss that sucker at your target.

Plus, it's great for parties.

My gun would be called "the evangelist." It shoots nothing except empty rhetoric & fire/brimstone theology. Depending on targets susceptibility rate, effects can range anywhere from wtf-are-you-doing/please-go-away to insanity.

I would design a gun that traps the victim in a Michael Bay movie with a nonstop Justin Bieber soundtrack playing at an almost deafening volume level.

Okay, that may be a bit much..but nobody would EVER wanna mess with you.

The "Heroes" gun

What it does: Fires bullets into your brain that then use a psychological hallucinogen to "transport" you into every season of heroes after season 2 to re-live all of them in the shoes of Sylar AND Hiro at the same time.

Apologies if this is a duplicate. Too many entries to read through at this point.

Time travel gun: Fire it at an adversary and the bullet travels back in time and shoots their parents.

Claymore rifle. This gun is more of a mortar than a gun. Each round is a time delay (set by the user) claymore mine. The user is also able to choose from two type of rounds, normal and adhesive. The normal round bounces around like a grenade, but with much greater initial energy than something thrown by hand, enabling it to ricochet off a wall and end up most of the way down a corridor or stairwell. The adhesive round adheres to whatever it hits, enabling the user to create a minefield without putting himself in harm's way.

A gun that shoots the dark knight at people. It's the goddamn bat-gun.

a gun that shoots ferrets at people.....

The gun its self would be mounted on a two-foot long, self propelled hovering platform, that looks vaguely like a turtle. Attached would be a long-bored rifle, similar to the infamous Nock Gun, but with four barrels. When shot, from each barrel would emerge one fully grown, irate African elephant that would proceed to run amok.

I present to you, the Elephant Gun.

My gun would be shaped like a guitar with a grip shaped like a hammer. When fired the neck-barrel would shoot out confetti that, when touched, would set of lethal electric charges, allowing for traps and chaos to spred with-in the enemy ranks. It would also have an alternate fire-mode that shoots wooden stakes. Any gun can protect you during the zombie apocalypse, how many can protect from the rise of the vampires armies?

My gun destroys the solar system every time I fire it, yet never actually manages to kill anyone. The Sefferglock anyone? No?

My gun would focus light into a super-hot beam. I'd call it the "LASER", it would be totally rad.

"Bun in the oven" 12 gauge (needle) semi auto. Impregnate people arnold schwarzenegger/danny Devito style.
No one goes to battle pregnant, think about it.

In order to fully torture, demean, diminish, and complete destroy the lives of my fellow fanboy foes without killing them my gun will take away that which is most important to them.

My gun works on the human brain. It would target and eradicate all knowledge and the future ability to regain that knowledge about all of their fanboy loves.

It would also eradicate all the emotions they have toward their particular obsession thereby reducing them to regular person status.

The horror!

Behold THE METAGUN! A terrifying firearm which hurls smaller guns at your enemy. Fear the future. (though loading it is a bitch)

Portable Hadron Collider Cannon:

Kills with shear possibilities.

1) Pierces enemy with infinite amounts of pure energy
2) Devours everything in a tiny black hole
3) Tears enemies apart with Dark Matter
4) Shoots enemies off into random timezones
5) Tramples enemies to death with angry protestors because you just fired up a Hadron Collider.

On default my gun uses reason and testable scientific knowledge to confuse and make you scream "enough" and make you leave the Church. The genius in this is that it will make the subject go to hell. And, what is worse than dying? Going to hell. So, it will probably only be used by fringe states and paradoxly - religious fundamanetalist. But they arn't stupid, terrorists plan ahead. They are also going to hell. And sending you there so they can exclude you from parties and bully you on facebook, since you weren't suppose to go to hell (shot by the gun, remember..) you have no real nice friends there you can counter bully the terrorists with. You are pretty much alone. What's worse than being alone? Going to hell, and your are already there..
There is more. That's the "passive" on this gun. What does that mean you ask? I do not answere your trivial questions, i'm from the future.

In the future there will also be a Alien Hand Gun. "THE gun of the future" - First: there are more guns than only one in the future, the HellGun is very potent but it's set to longterm termination. Sometimes you need to kill stuff (in the future, you might find future facts quite tedious by now, people get very old) imediatly, fun fact. HellGun not so good at that. Second: I don't care about rules made by people made of carbon made by the universe.

The other most powerful gun in the history of the universe of the future is the AlienHandGun. Can't go into details but it cuts your corpos collosum and makes your left hand not apply to your concious mind. It can be a bitch, getting dressed, eat food, drive, and so on. You would want to kill yoursefl right away.

Thx

(not written by me, but my alien hand)

MIRROR UNIVERSE DOUBLE PISTOL (MUDP)
Let's say you're mugged. Fire your MUDP and suddenly there are two muggers: One from our universe, and his opposite from the mirror universe! Naturally, they'll fight each other. That's what mirror universe doubles do; They oppose their double!
Why recruit soldiers for wars when you can just create an army of diametrically-opposed doubles? Let the enemy fight themselves! When you're done with mirror-doubles, just use the handy built-in disintegration ray to dispose of them!
DISCLAIMER: Do not use disintegration ray on people from this universe. It's illegal, and could destroy reality. You never know.

The Nagging Gun: it causes people to remember all unfinished tasks, regrets, shortcomings, and future aspirations, becoming incredibly preoccupied by them to the exclusion of all else. This gun would obviously not work on anyone with a mother-in-law, due to natural immunities.

I want a sonic pulse gun that plays still alive and various other Coulton classics until they've lost all charm and comedic value. The target would die of pure, unadulterated annoyance.

(For the record, I love JoCo)

A gun that fires chainsaws. That has a machete on the end of it.

The bladder buster gun. One hit and your enemy acts like he just got done with a 30 pack of keystone light, covered in urine,vomit and regret

I want a Bazooka that fires 19" Comic-Con exclusive Galactus figures. But they won't be in their packages and will be missing a finger on one of their hands so they can't be sold on eBay for 10x their original price to us nerds who really wanted them but couldn't go. *twitch*

I want a gun that shoots a ray of pure love, just to disarm, maybe even with a setting for 'unrequited love' so the enemy goes home and spends the next month drinking and smoking alone listening to the smiths on repeat

Surprised that nobody's mentioned the ZF-1 yet...

I would have to say a bazooka that shoots puppies with hard copies of the OTHER story duct taped to their tiny, furry, cute little torsos. When the enemy (whether they have a heart is irrelevant as heart=catch for love and heartless=catch for dinner) catches the puppy, they are thus distracted AND horrified by the fact that there is something taped to their fuzzy pal/meal...when they actually start reading the OTHER story, they are so utterly revolted that they gouge their eyes out leaving them open for attack by the chainsaw bayonet attached to the PupZooka.

I would make a Gravity Gun, so that each shot you fired would created a small isolated gravity field that would control how much gravity was affecting someone and what direction the gravity was pushing them in. this way you could shoot them and make them float into the air, then shoot them again and make them crash into the ground, Or you could make them fly in any other direction with any amount of force you wanted. And you could fire waves of gravity to affect multiple targets at once.

A gattling gun that shoots out the ultimate army:

300 clones of topless Betty Whites sporting Predator dreadlocks, wielding a dual-edged lightsaber while shrieking WALALALALALALA ACTION repeatedly in Urkel voice as they charged the enemy.

The Shroedinger's Cat Gun, because are you feeling lucky punk?
(besides the possibility of death is usually enough.)

My weapon of choice for the future is not a gun but an attachment that monitors battle field communications for the enemies radio frequency. and then broadcasts fan fiction on those frequencies.

The Flaming Doo-Doo Bag Launcher or F.D.B.L for short.

Not just for pranks anymore...

Aside from the humiliation, this weapon comes with the practicality of showering your opponents in combustable, nitrogen-rich fecal matter.
Even if they manage to put out the fire, they'd likely just smear themselves in smelly, distracting filth. Making it that much easier to finish them off. If you keep yourself from laughing your ass off, that is...

how about a gun that gives you a great one liner... like from an 80's action flic or a Dirty Harry movie. a one liner worthy of John McClane or even the Governators long lost glibness. call it "the Quip"

The N.E.T. (Never Ending Torture) gun: A gun that shoots micro black holes that suck you in and spit you out in an alternate world where time doesn't pass and you must forever listen to Rod Stewart...and watch him dance naked.

I don't have a name or a design for mine, but I've always liked the idea of a flame thrower type gun that spews a stream of tiny nanobots that swarm the target and strip it to the bone. Or a bullet with a liquid tip that breaks when it hits the target, and releases a bunch of the same nanobots but doesn't kill the guy. So he's dragged back to the base to get patched up, the bots activate and start tearing the living shit out of everything. Not that creative, but I'd like it. >>

The "Michael B-ray Gun" fires an impenetrable pile of dogsh*t all over your favorite childhood cartoon. In the event that you accidentally shoot the wrong cartoon, switch it to "Shyamalan mode", which will clear the dogsh*t away.

Side effects include whitewashing protagonists, pronouncing their names wrong, and moving the pile of dogsh*t onto a different franchise. In the event that your favorite characters are replaced with twin mechanical Jar-Jars, keep firing until you end up with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. That's as good as it gets.

The Whiny Loser: when killed by this weapon, enemies stand around complaining about headshot bots, camping, lag, framerates, map design, team balance, weapon fairness, the questionable sexuality, parentage and fecal diet of the player who killed them, etc, all delivered in the furiously trembling falsetto of an enraged twelve year old.

The player can shut the enemy up by shooting them again, although the corpse will twitch and mutter something about f’ing haxxors.

Somewhere in the universe, a black hole harvests entire stars. Upon request, the harvested star is instanly spaghettified out the other end to any other point in the universe as a stream of small teardrop shaped slugs (each with the appropriate weight of the ex-star) moving at 99.9% c. That target point is specified as the location where user's eyes are looking. The trigger is a thrusting motion made by moving user's hips backwards, then forwards while simultaneously doing the opposite with user's arms bent 90 degrees at the elbow. The only authorized user is the thawed out of cryofreeze Ron Jeremy.

I'm not sure about the technology for this one, but how about a gun which fires a tiny GPS dot with the ability to override all other GPS systems within a given area, like car Sat-navs. Great for assassinations, because the target never knows they're hit until they're run over by several cars minutes/hours later.

You may also get guys turning up and asking if you're their lost dog.

A gun that fires not bullets, but nano-bot containing projectiles. The gun is a sniper rifle, designed to hit targets from a far range in a "fire and forget" mode. The bullets contain nano-bots, which quickly enter the body and burn out any and all nerve endings they find. This allows the sniper to quickly hit targets from range and move on, allowing the nano-bots to kill the target.

The Hello! Kitty branded Flying Panty Launcher designed for containing or creating riots in Japanese Cities. The gun would come in the shape of Hello! Kitty, in order to hold the gun one must put their hand up her skirt where you find that that the handle one must hold is a rather large Hello! Kitty vibrator, and the trigger is the Hello! Kitty vibrator rabbit add-on. Everytime you pull the trigger not only does a whole host of slightly used flying propeller powered panties fly out but the Launcher does this half-moan/half meow.

My gun would shoot needles laced with an enzyme that affects the nervous system leading to the victim having an 'uncontrollable bladder spasm'.

My gun is a gun of peace. It's a gun that fire bullets that kill virginity amongst nerds.

The gun of the future needs to be small (for easy portability), box-shaped (for easy storage), simple (no handle, just a button on the side as a trigger so it can be used with either hand) and able to shoot anything. Literally. The ammo type is whatever you can find around you. Anything placed into the back of the gun is compressed, energized and (when fired) launched out at super high speeds. Basically a mini rail gun meets Doc Brown's Mr. Fusion.

Prototype action shots!

Military model:
http://cache3.asset-cache.net/xc/50600115.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=E41C9FE5C4AA0A14731A81A9877C0169A3DF522AB4804A1734021F4DED4A76D9B01E70F2B3269972

Government model:
http://dvdmedia.ign.com/dvd/image/et_16.jpg

My gun fires microscopic Uwe Boll's that eat away at anything good in your body, like your blood, organs, that slim jim you had at the 7-11 last night until all thats left is your skin.The real Uwe Boll collects it , stretches it (skin) out, and shows his latest piece of shit movie on it.

I would design the Bay Blaster. The Bay Blaster is unrecognizable as a conventional weapon, yet has devastating effects. Anything you point it at (if you are able to determine which part is the barrel) and pull the trigger automatically explodes, whether combustible or not. Stuffed animals, marshmallow men, dvd's of movies that lack plot and substance, all blow up in unlikely explosions. Great for parties and entertaining kids. Only drawback is that while holding the weapon you look like the world's biggest douchebag.

A watergun-like gun that shoots beer and never runs out of ammo. And it has a built in stereo which plays Will Smith's 'Miami' on repeat. Mm, good times.

My gun would turn people into comicsnix copies, I'd use it on the world leaders, they will no doubt immediately begin working on horrible and confusing erotic fanfics and explode the brains of anyone who could stop me. When all the worlds hopeful are reduced to semi-illiterate future meteorologists or brain-dead I will swoop in with the speed of a 400 pound pothead on a plate a pot-brownies and the iron-fist of a dictator to rule the world WHAHAHAHAHA!

Ugh. 300 entries is too much so I apologize if this is a repeat:

The Ice-9 Needler.
It shoots Ice-9 bullets which cause all water in the target's body to freeze. This means that every hit is lethal. Shot in the foot? Dead. Shot in the hand? Dead. Just a flesh wound? Not any more! Just make sure all bodies are disposed of by cremation and dear God, keep it out of the ocean!
.
PS If I could enter someone else's gun it would be the Doberman Gun from The Far Side. The ultimate in home defense!

The BIG BANG GUN.

One use only.

Im sorry if this was done already...

First, it looks like a giant super soaker with a large stone head at the end.
When you pull the trigger of this fantastic weapon, it doesnt uhm...shoot bullets but rather vomits out smaller pistols which can be picked up and used. (Brutaliscious!)

It also doesnt make a bang sound, it says "THE GUN IS GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL!"

Its the one and only ZARDOZ gun!

(NOTE: Wearing a pair of blue boxers on your head and drawing a goatee on your face with a sharpie is optional.)

The Bozo Bazooka. It shoots a hideously demonic clown costume that latches onto an opponent's body, complete with evil clown mask. This fools their allies into thinking they are an evil clown and causing them to shoot their own man. Because EVERYONE, without exception, would kill an evil clown if they ever came across one, with extreme prejudice. So, not only is your opponent dying at the hands of their own allies, they also have the indignity of dying dressed like a clown.

My Gun would be called the Romano Ray:
When hit by it you would suddenly be accosted by an overbearing Mother, You would lose any sense of competency you might have and you would get an impatient wife following you around too.
A side effect renders all siblings resentful of you believing "Mom and Dad always loved you best"

The FIL Mega 2000xl ( all good guns have large numbers, and words such as mega etc ):

The FIL ( First In Line ) gun is pointed at any queue and automatically reserves a space at the very front, which you can occupy at a later time ( don't ask how it works, it just does ). No-one has been brave enough to test what happens when 2 FIL's are used on the same line!

This gun instantly ages the target until he's 100 years old. It then drops a birthday cake infront of him. As he's attempting to blow out the candles you can either sing him Happy Birthday or stab him or be a jerk and do both.

Good news, everyone!

I've invented a gun that immediately shoots copies of Blacklight Tango Down back at people who give them to you, freeing up valuable time for getting destroyed by 12 year-olds in Starcraft!

My gun is simple. A long range sniper rifle filled with jar jar rounds. What are jar jar rounds? I'm glad you asked. When a target is hit with a jar jar round, the round melds with the target and creates a life size replica of Jar jar Binks wacked out on crack cocaine.jar Jar is psychically tied to the target and will never under any circumstances leave their side. This replica is tied in to the targets vitals as well, hence if any harm comes to jar jar, this reflects on the target. After being hit with a jar jar bullet, the target will die most likely in one of three ways. 1. The target will eventually go mad and kill jar jar, and consequently himself. 2. The targets compatriots will kill jar jar and consequently the target as well. 3. Suicide. Meesa and yousa gon be goooood freinds!

How about the Tom & Jerry Gun....it fires anvils,frying pans,golf clubs,cheese graters,sticks of dynamite,comedy bombs,irons,suddenly closing doors,unfeasibly large fruit,steamrollers,locomotives,cliffs with tunnels painted on them,mousetraps, beartraps,large dogs and annoyed fat ladies with their socks down round their ankles.

The Daisy Ray.

Its transmogrifying beam converts the target into a harmless daisy. A reverse switch allows for de-daisyfication in case of misfire. A lightsaber folds into the stock and can be removed for close combat, or for mowing down daisies that still may pose a threat. Both elegant and versatile, the primary function of this weapon is to be non-lethal, but incorporates contigencies should this goal be impractical.

The AOTA-gun. It fires all of the above mentioned bullets. Its huge and the bullets looks like double robot unicorn rainbows.

The Devastator. It fills the target with the most intense form imaginable of the feeling that one gets from standing directly beneath the enemy's scrotum.

Comes with a shard of the Allspark in the handle, because you never know when you might need one.

Picture: http://imgur.com/EKncn.png

The Ballzooka. It would appear externally little different than a normal bazooka, perhaps a little larger in diameter. It fires a projectile of tightly folded, hinged metal arms and rods, propelled by rocket and guided by a genetic lock-on mechanism. Upon coming close to the target, it unfolds, resembling a very large face-hugger. After impacting the target at mid torso, the arms close and lock into place, pinning the target's arms and legs in position. A twelve pound weight attached to a pneumatic rod descends from the main structure and begins to pummel the testicles.

Anti Nerd gun. For those type of nerds that make you feel ashamed which was in that other contest. It shoots out future George Lucas sceenplays. The nerd reads them and kills him/herself out of dispair. We have the technology and unfortunately, George Lucas.

My gun would be called the "cannondine"...when fired, it causes the victim to be stripped down to lingerie, and hog tied.

The Cryptophallic Cannon. Millions of magically shrunken gibbering cocks are kept in a breeding chamber, and then launched at foes. The launch is soundless, and they expand from mote-size to typical proportions in mid-air, so enemies won't even see them until they're too close to dodge. Each gun is registered to its holder via magic, so that they don't turn on you, even if you accidentally break the chamber open. (Or do so purposefully, to unleash a last-ditch attack that will end all things.)

Everyone can carry guns, but if you kill someone you get murdered and go to jail.

There will be no gun of the future. Not because of world peace, but because guns will have become outdated. I mean we don't arm the military with spears anymore. In the future there will probably be some quicker, more efficient way of killing people than using a gun. Sorry to all for being a killjoy!

My idea: a shoulder mounted gun with a camera, grenade launcher and lasers for measuring distance/speed of the target and the wind conditions. It would come with a headset that displays the video, tracks what your looking at and actively auto-corrects the gun to hit that point. It would also have GPS capabilities, so it could relay the exact location of the target, if you wanted aerial support. And all from behind cover. For targets that are also behind cover, you could just set the nades to explode a few feet behind their cover.

"Obviously, the more insane and ridiculous, the better."

DAMNIT ROB!!! Your giving out multiple shirts/games, why can't you give out 1 for a serious entry??

As for my silly entry? I don't know... a sniper rifle that fires matter/anti-matter bullets so it could blow up everything.

Imagine this:
A semi-automatic machine gun that is loaded with ammunition that, upon impact, unceremoniously rips a hole into the space-time continuum, allowing each bullet to come into contact with its target hundreds, if not thousands of times. Think with Portals, except with one portal on each side of the target, and one projectile hitting your enemy, into one opening, back through the other, and through your target time and time again.

Fatality.

the gun i would design would be the love child of hellboys good sameritin with optimus prime's rifle and instead of bullets it would shoot mini michel bays that on impact would cause the target to burst into flame and grow mechanical nuts. plus the gun would duplicate itself after firing each time it would never be gone

The most dangerous gun I can think of. FFF Gun. Shoots every FanFiction Friday story into the head of the enemy, instantly rendering them braindead.

The Money Shot-gun:

It's a shotgun you try to aim point blank at someone's face. It's a non-lethal gun that fires globs of gelatinized bear-spray. It would be the most unwieldy and reprehensibly vile looking gun on the planet. The accuracy all depends on user experience. However, if you actually manage to hit the target, the target is forever shamed and the shooter is automatically a saint of guns. Also there's a built in camera at the end of the barrel.

A midget bazooka. It shoots midgets that are themselves shooting 9mm handguns. The midgets are also wearing pickelhauben so if they miss with their bullets they'll still have their heads.

This is easy... A trumpit that shoots bubblegum

"The Double V Dey" - A double shot of Viagra shot followed up by Felicia Day flying around in her fairy outfit from The Legend of Neil singing the fairy song.

On the first mention of 'dragon style', the enemy would be so fucking horny they would cut off their own dick and beat themselves to death.

This will probably work on females too...at least the cool ones!!!

I think they should develop a weapon that enhances your thoughts. Like you shoot yourself in the head with it to open up alternate ways to diffuse a situation. It coulda helped this guy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3FGdjjythQ

I would make a gun called the LARP BUSTER. It would instill upon your enemies the desire to participate in LARP. At which point, you attack at them with your LVL. 5 LIGHTNING BOLT.

I would create a gun that shoots out a bunch of knife wielding midgets.

I would create a gun that would recite incorrect things about well facts in the sci-fi/gaming/computer community. The enemy will then drop their weapons, and revert to defensive fanboys. For example: "Wolverine's skeleton is made of titanium." Or "Apple is better than PC." Or "Wiis is better than PS3".

A small phaser like object with three settings, kill, stun, and Kirk sexuality hypnosis.

A gun that builds a machine that builds a machine that builds Laser turrets.

The first machine is a bomb too I guess.

My gun would be either helicopter-mounted or launched missile-style at an approaching army (humans, zombies, etc.) the projectile would split into 100 fully formed Flying Guillotines and target the heads (limbs, extremities, genitals) of the army in question. Once the Flying Guillotines are firmly in place, small retro-rockets on each FG basket would launch the Guillotine baskets far away. I'd call it the "Decapitate an Army" gun.

My other idea would be to have a large missile projectile that splits into hundreds of flying, ravenous half lion, half eagle mythical beasts that would attack and eat any approaching enemy. I'd call this one the MIRV Griffin.

The 38 special: Firing this at an individual would cause them to develope the most natural looking uber perky 38 DDs. It would also the target to have an uncontrollable urge to fondle them selves until they eiter pass out or expire from dehydration. Either way their hands would not be filled with offensive weaponry. I am not sure how well this would work against the female targets though.

I have an entry and a joke,

Entry:

A gun that fires 3 types of rounds, projected energy, standard slug, and a shrink-ray/ vacuum attachment for when you want to take them alive to torture later.

Joke:

A gun that fires a life sized Chuck Norris, in his prime, movie/TV version. To fight for you
Because Chuck Norris always wins.