Bobbleheads -- also known as wobblers, head knockers, nodders and those things you have to wade through pages of the Entertainment Earth catalog in order to get to the Star Wars
figures -- used to strictly be the domain of sports fans and kitsch enthusiasts. In the past 20 years however, they have exploded into the mainstream collecting market. These days, every worthwhile TV, movie and comic franchise seems to have its own bobblehead line. This results in some genuinely terrific merchandise (the Twilight Zone
and Venture Bros
. bobbles, um, spring to mind) and a fair amount of duds as well. Because it is easier to destroy than create, today's Daily List will set its sight on pointing out 15 truly lame bobbleheads from beloved nerd properties... and maybe some properties that aren't all that beloved after all, come to think of it. Did your favorite character make the walk of shame to arrive here? Let's find out!15) Oompa Loompa
Remember the wonder and magic of Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
? Didn't think so. Unfortunately this bobblehead souvenir of one of Deep Roy's Oompa Loompas from the flick is still sticking around like a plastic genital wart to remind us all of the unexpected repercussions of unnecessary remakes.
Stop in the name of love, before he breaks your heart. And fucks with your fillings. Magneto's a real dick like that.
13) Alien Facehugger
Facehuggers don't actually have heads. This is a bobblehead. See the problem here? I get that the whole body nods back and forth from the egg base, but dammit, the lack of a cranium betrays the whole raison d'etre of bobbleheads and that's really annoying.
Tired of the eternal romantic tug-of-war between Betty and Veronica, Archie instead focuses on a new hobby: pocketball.
11) Snake Eyes
Move with the wind and you will never be heard...unless you have a bulbous head that makes a whooshing sound as it moves back and forth.
10) Debra Morgan from Dexter
's Debra Morgan is a smart, tough and vulnerable character with a wicked potty mouth who is endlessly fascinating to watch. This is thanks to great writing and a consistently fantastic performance by Jennifer Carpenter (especially given the weird subtext the show takes on in light of the real-life marriage and subsequent divorce of Carpenter and show lead/TV brother Michael C. Hall). Merchandise from the series is a welcome thing indeed; however by not including a voice chip that spews endless unedited profanities the Debra Morgan bobblehead is 100% pure fail.
9) Holiday Jawa
Disgusting creatures though they may be, Jawas enjoy celebrating Christmas/Hanukkah/Life Day as much as the rest of us. But why would some maniac gave a Jawa a Jedi Training Ball as a gift? There's probably some bullshit Gift of the Magi
-esque Expanded Universe story that explains what's going on here, but I'm far too lazy to do some actual research and find out for sure. So let's just say that this particular Jawa ripped off Ben's hovel and spent Boxing Day trying to sell the damn thing to a hungover Uncle Owen.
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