Ill-Advised Cartoon Spin-Offs: And the Winners Are...

By Rob Bricken in Cartoons, Miscellaneous
Tuesday, March 1, 2011 at 10:01 am
Sometimes, when I do these "imagine the worst thing possible"-type contests, people accidentally think of ideas that are genuinely awesome. Here are some cartoons that, ill-advised as they might be are still kind of good ideas. Basically, I would watch the shit out of these cartoons:

Blue Tank Top said:
GWAR: The Saturday Morning Mayhem.
Plot: Oderus Urungus, Beefcake the Mighty, Balsac the Jaws of Death and the rest of the gang try and find the evil Techno Destructo before he can blow up Uranus.
robert said:
Evil Dead the animated series. Ash and his buddies Handy and Woody the "friendly" tree hunt the Necronomicon and the deadites across time.
It would end with a helpful lesson on gun safety or safe chainsaw operation like Gi-Joe used to. And knowing is half the battle!
Was Here... Twitch Was Here said:
Really, you can the regulars of this here website into just about any cartoon scenario and would basically be the greatest thing ever. I'm partial to a Superhero Squad-style show myself.
Chibified Scoot and his team of fast-talking smartass heroes (Ruby, Lizzie, Zortt, DJRM, Sango, etc.) battle the evil forces of Dr. Abraxas and his soul-destroying fanfic while attempting to recover the 'sploded shards of Rickicker. And of course there will be guest appearances galore, with most of the regulars as heroes, and particularly painful fanfic creators as villains.
And of course Rob will make a cameo appearance ala Stan Lee in all the movies & stuff, just for funsies.
JeffJefftyJeff said:
Time Lady Gaga: An immortal Lady Gaga bounces around in time in her malfunctioning Time Egg. She and the Egg's super-computer, Alejandro, save history using only her dimensionally transcendent wardrobe trunk and the Power of Camp.
pumpkinguts said:
The Harlem Knights starring Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx and Eddie Murphy as actual knights. A time machine is found in the basement of Sugar Ray's (Pryor)casino and our 1920s hustlers are sent back to days of King Arthur. They meet the Lady of the Lake who gives them special weapons that bestow them with powers. Eddie gets a bow, Pryor gets a sword, and Redd gets a magical staff.
The trio befriend a goodly baby dragon called "smokes" (voiced by Arsenio Hall) and help Arthur battle the forces of evil.
Lincoln Paradox said:
Cthulhu the Menace
Visit the coolest kid on Planet Vrool, Cthulhu the Menace. Cthulhu and his friends Dagon, Mi-go and the Shoggoth Twins try to survive kindergarten, but that mean old Mr. Yog-Sothoth has it out for Cthulhu. With stories taken directly from "Mad" Al Alhazred's classic comic strip, your kids will enjoy Cthulhu's hi-jinks so much, it will drive them INSANE!
Lady Pants said:
"An Awesome History of Time!" with Professor Stephen Rocking.
Also deserving of a special Honorable Mention are Dancoe and BobJ, who entered these two entries precisely at 5:22pm EST on Friday:

Dancore said:
The Human Centipide. Giant robots link up ass-to-mouth, Volton-style, to fight the evil Dr. Heiter who created them.
BobJ said:
A pesky teenage crime fighting trio that link up in times of duress shouting "Centipede power!" to form "The Human Centipede"
Wacky! And, last but certainly not least, I want to recognize the lovely RubyRoses for going above and beyond the call of Topless Roboteering when she wrote the following:

RubyRoses said:
far too drunk to check..ill-advised cartoon spin-offs you say?
uck I wish i had more sensei'mma try to think about what ROb loves..
becausr that's what important right?
oka i got he-man...so
characters in he-man..
His animal cat beast thing that transforms into whatever.
he-beast?
hgets his own spin off like, meerkat manor, cameras kinda sorta follow him around, trbies and shit NO
Fuck he-beast, goes travelling through the desert trying to convert/save/punish the soldiers of HORDAK [hordak is it Hordak rob I have no idea onl have caught like 2-3 episodes of She-Ra, but dear lord do I love it, fuck she's cool, she-ra, she-ra indeed] so he-deast from he-man converst the adversary from she-ra someinto allies some just fucking bite it..
but how about the whole time je's not even in his "Fuck yeah I'm totally bitching, I kick ass, He-man fucking RIDE me!!" bt he's in his "OMGZ I"M SO FUCKING WHINEY
ABOUT EVERYTHING EVEN THOUGH I"M ADORABLE" mode..
TELL ME THAT SHOW ISN"T ILL ADVISED TELL ME THAT ROB?
Also I'm going to regret this tomorrow.

p.s. tell me this, right here, this post, isn;ta good reason to bring live-blogs back?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WANT IT BACK ROB??
About fucking anything, randomly, whenever you feeel like it? Take anything, long as I'm home, I WON"T STOP BUGGIN GYOU ABOUT THIS.
This... this is a masterpiece. Some day kids will study it in school alongside T.S. Eliot and Emily Dickinson. As for RubyRoses' problem (other than, you know, alcohol poisoning), unfortunately there won't be any TR live-blogs for the time being. The problem is that I find myself having to do a lot of freelance work to make ends meet, which takes up a lot of my evenings. And the few nights I have free I'd prefer to keep free. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be into doing a special live-blog event here and there, mind you, it's just that I can't do anything more regular until I'm not quite so financially... precarious. My apologies. If some special episode or event comes up you want a TR live-blog for, please, email me and let me know.
 
All right, enough about me. It's time for Winners.

theholyfx said:
GGW The Series
Girls Gone wild founder Joe Francis forms a "tween" squad of girls to travel the world while fighting the evil group of parents that have formed T.I.T.S. (The Icky Terror Society). The team consists of Emily the blond buxom bombshell that is also a cheerleader on the JV squad, whos speciality is high kicks and her "rah-rah" double punch. Ashley the brunette geek girl with glasses that can "hack" any computer. Olivia, who is a feisty red head who is known for her martial arts and her quick temper. And to round off the team you have Faith, the loner goth girl with the voice of an angel. Useing her special sonic song she makes men "want to blow".
With a quick lift of their shirt they transform into the GGG girls. With their special skills and help from their pet N.I.P.P.L.E (Non intelligent proto plasm lifeform equivalent) they do everything they can on camera while trying to keep their identities from their dads...
This is so fucking wrong I can barely stand it. And the worst (best?) part is that I can almost see it happening. Girls Gone Wild is an immensely popular and well-known brand, including among girls -- girls who have no problem taking their tops off and/or low self-esteem and daddy issues. Tragically, there would actually be a young female audience for this cartoon. I could actually see it working. And that's what disturbs me the most.

SaveALemming said:
I know Sabreman suggested Schindler's List as a time-travel cartoon. I was thinking Schindler's List as a Pokemon knockoff. Where he's gotta catch 'em all. It feels wrong just writing that. So Schindler and his serious-to-the-point-it's-funny sidekick Stern spend episodes adding Jewish refugees to... THE LIST, then trains them for battle against the evil Team Goeth.
Schindler's List as a Pokémon rip-off? THAT IS THE WORST/BEST/WORST IDEA EVER. JUST READING THAT PARAGRAPH ENSURES YOU'RE GOING TO HELL. And since SaveALemming wrote it, he should probably get a TR shirt in exchange for his eternal damnation.

Everyone else, you get my thanks for entering. Sorry about the hell thing. Maybe if we're lucky Satan will put us all on the same level or something.

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