May I just say it, because apparently the rest of the Star Wars geeks like myself missed it? Endor is a moon, not a planet.
5) Who Tractor Beams an Unknown Ship in the Middle of a Battle?
If you're an Imperial soldier on the Star Destroyer, and you're in the middle of a firefight with rebels, and a strange ship flies out of a comet, what would you do? Keep in mind, that there are a bunch of other ships currently shooting at you with lasers -- and you're supposed to protect the Death Star. If you thought the ship was friendly, you'd send out a hailing signal saying, "What the FUCK are you doing here?" Otherwise, you'd blast it just like you're blasting the X-Wings. In the middle of combat the last thing you'd want to do is pull the mystery ship closer.
4) Why Can the X-Wing Pilots Talk to Star Tours... But Not the Imperials?
I'm going to skip over the big elephant in the room of when this takes place in Star Wars continuity, because I just can't figure it out (the way they go after the Death Star is purely New Hope, but the proximity to the Endor moon suggests it's somewhere around Jedi -- a failed attack perhaps? We don't see it blow up). I'll move on to something kind of minor: Why can the X-Wing pilotz communicate with Star Tours but the Imperials can't? These guys are rebels, the equivalent to guerilla fighters with good tech, but they can reach out to a tour ship within a few seconds of spying it. Is everyone working on the same frequency?
3) Whose Side Is Star Tours On?
We're supposed to be rooting for the Rebellion, of course, but as Star Tours is a licensed business (presumably licensed by the Empire), its professional loyalties should remain with the governing body. You show your passport to the government official, not the rebel in the jeep who's been running sorties on your bases. Obviously, the Death Star didn't blow up, so this was probably just a failed attack on it by some rebel fighters. But since Star Tours helped out in the attack (they shot lasers! from the space bus!), wouldn't this make them traitors? What you don't see after Rex lands is a squadron of Stormtroopers executing the entire staff of Star Tours for treason.
2) Whose Side Are You On?
Tour groups bring in a diverse group of people, so the odds that some of the passengers on Star Tours are pro-Empire are very good. Having different political views is one thing; actively taking part in an attack on the largest government battleship in the universe is another. Remember, the Rebellion is in hiding. The whole beginning of Empire is them trying not be found out while they're on Hoth, otherwise they'll be massacred by AT-ATs. If anyone on the tour to Endor wasn't allied with the Rebellion, they'd be calling the authorities ASAP once they touched down. "Those rebels you've been searching for? Would you believe it, they're running a goddam tour company."
1) What Kind of Tour Company Murders People?
At timestamp 3:38 in the video in the intro, a TIE Fighter is coming at your vehicle. Lasers shoot out the front of your tour ship. The TIE Fighter blows up. Congratulations, you're now accessory to murder. Thanks to your little trip to Endor, some family is without its father. Let me reiterate how fucking insane that is: you were on a guided tour and your tour guide, on his own volition, killed a sentient being. Not like he sideswiped it into a ditch or ran him over when he darted out in front of the bus, no, your tour guide consciously murdered someone in a place he wasn't supposed to be at in the first place. Holy shit, that would get your business shut down in a heartbeat.
If you're an Imperial soldier on the Star Destroyer, and you're in the middle of a firefight with rebels, and a strange ship flies out of a comet, what would you do? Keep in mind, that there are a bunch of other ships currently shooting at you with lasers -- and you're supposed to protect the Death Star. If you thought the ship was friendly, you'd send out a hailing signal saying, "What the FUCK are you doing here?" Otherwise, you'd blast it just like you're blasting the X-Wings. In the middle of combat the last thing you'd want to do is pull the mystery ship closer.
4) Why Can the X-Wing Pilots Talk to Star Tours... But Not the Imperials?
I'm going to skip over the big elephant in the room of when this takes place in Star Wars continuity, because I just can't figure it out (the way they go after the Death Star is purely New Hope, but the proximity to the Endor moon suggests it's somewhere around Jedi -- a failed attack perhaps? We don't see it blow up). I'll move on to something kind of minor: Why can the X-Wing pilotz communicate with Star Tours but the Imperials can't? These guys are rebels, the equivalent to guerilla fighters with good tech, but they can reach out to a tour ship within a few seconds of spying it. Is everyone working on the same frequency?
3) Whose Side Is Star Tours On?
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2) Whose Side Are You On?
Tour groups bring in a diverse group of people, so the odds that some of the passengers on Star Tours are pro-Empire are very good. Having different political views is one thing; actively taking part in an attack on the largest government battleship in the universe is another. Remember, the Rebellion is in hiding. The whole beginning of Empire is them trying not be found out while they're on Hoth, otherwise they'll be massacred by AT-ATs. If anyone on the tour to Endor wasn't allied with the Rebellion, they'd be calling the authorities ASAP once they touched down. "Those rebels you've been searching for? Would you believe it, they're running a goddam tour company."
1) What Kind of Tour Company Murders People?
At timestamp 3:38 in the video in the intro, a TIE Fighter is coming at your vehicle. Lasers shoot out the front of your tour ship. The TIE Fighter blows up. Congratulations, you're now accessory to murder. Thanks to your little trip to Endor, some family is without its father. Let me reiterate how fucking insane that is: you were on a guided tour and your tour guide, on his own volition, killed a sentient being. Not like he sideswiped it into a ditch or ran him over when he darted out in front of the bus, no, your tour guide consciously murdered someone in a place he wasn't supposed to be at in the first place. Holy shit, that would get your business shut down in a heartbeat.
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212 comments
Look again at the picture of REX. There's a red tag hanging from him that says, "REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT." I bet half these things never would have happened if someone had removed that tag in the first place.
Yeah, this an old article, but sounds like the perfect place to talk about my massive nerdgasm!
There is a disneycentric facebook page that I am a fan of. This morning, I went on it at the right time.They had juist put up a post. May 19th, at 12:01 AM, there would be a Q and A with Disney imagineers responsible for Star Tours 2. A limited number of people could email a certain address and take part. The coolest part. After the meet and greet, you get to BE THE FIRST FREAKING PEOPLE EVER TO RIDE STAR TOURS 2!!!! within an hour the requests were cut off, then they emailed the winners......INCLUDING ME!!! yay.. Geek history!!
Here are some answers for you...
10. After Return of the Jedi, many people wanted to visit Endor. Why? Because Endor was home to the furry Ewoks. Kids and adults loved those little creatures. PLUS with our dying planet Earth, it would be nice to see some Forest Life.
9. Obviously you didn't get the ride at all. We never get to Endor because our Tour Guide takes a wrong turn and we end up in a battle field helping to destroy the Deathstar. Once this was complete it is obvious that the Tour Ship needs some serious overhaul after the fight. Which is why the tour is not going to happen.
8. You even have a picture of it. Take a look at the tag that is sticking out of the droid. It was obviously a prepackaged droid that needed to be placed, then have the tag removed. The tag even says, "REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT." Obviously the company that made these droids had a serious glitch in their droids when the tag is not removed. This is why the droid pilot is an idiot and cannot follow it's directives.
7. I will answer this by saying, see answer 8.
6. Assuming that the droids are completely assembled, placed, and have their tag removed, there would be no need for the droid to take test drives. It is fully automated with directives to fly the tour ship to it's corresponding location. PLUS who is to say that this is his first flight? Maybe he got the flights correct during his test drive, but malfunctioned once people were on there.
5. Do you have more than one task during your job? Some people do. Like you mentioned before, maybe this Star Tours company is registered with the Imperials. Perhaps the Imperials were trying to look out for their own investment.
4. This is like asking why can I talk to my friend on a walkie talkie, but not talk to the cops. Really? Frequency my friend.
3. Star Tours is not on a side until someone finds the correct frequency of their radio. The malfunctioning droid has no idea what to do in this situation, so it is told what to do by a Rebel pilot. If you were just walking along in a theme park then someone suddenly told you that this section was closed, you would walk around. It's natural.
2. I agree with you on this one. However, it is not the travelers responsibility to take sides. They are caught in the crossfire no matter what. I assume eventually the Star Tours company would shut down due to improper procedures.
1. Once again, this is not the fault of the entire company, but the fault of whomever did not remove the tag before allowing Rex to take flight.
There are your answers. Please stop reading so much into things. Life is a lot easier if you just enjoy. :)
What I never understood is why we have such powerful laser cannons on a TOUR ship. It's like being a cruise ship with missile turrets on the deck. Also, the shields seem way overpowered on the Star Tours ship :P. Think about it, we crash through several metal doors at the Star Tours facility, we crash through ice walls in the comet, we get hit by a crap load of Tie fighters, get hit with Death Star laser cannons, AND STILL NOT BLOW UP LIKE MOST SHIPS WOULD IN THE MOVIES.
By the way, I hope Disney will troll us and put Jar Jar Binks as the co-pilot in the new opening of Star Tours hahaahahahhahaha.
Hey, folks, it's great to see some love for the old school Star Tours on here. Not only from the writer of this article, but from the very knowledgeable fans who have been responding.
Numbers 10-6 really cracked me up... especially "You may all die in a fire shortly." But 5-1 got a little sloppier.
Yes, the Death Star CAN be seen blowing up. The front viewport logically can't depict this, so it is seen over R2's shoulder in the side monitor. (That same monitor addresses the question about how Red Leader contacted Star Tours, because below the screen could be seen the notation 'CODE 1 COMMUNICATION'.)
If you'll go to YouTube and search for a video by LextheRobot (me) entitled The Original STAR TOURS Archive: Flight to Endor, you can see both of these details. I tried to get as much of the side monitor as I could.
By the way, the setting for the story was AFTER Return of the Jedi, according to the writer Tom Fitzgerald. Notice in the queue spiel with R2 and 3PO, the golden droid makes mention of having been to Endor, and the Ewoks thinking he possessed magic.
The queue also explains why the StarSpeeder 3000 possessed forward-firing laser cannons (indeed the queue script brought them to your attention three times during the 9-minute-long loop), to protect the ship from space debris.
Rex clearly improvised using them against a TIE Fighter on his own initiative, but he did let Greedo... er... the TIE Pilot shoot first. So even though it was his own rookie errors that put us in the combat zone, he was acting in self-defense and the defense of his passengers when he shot down that TIE. (More noble than the original concept, which had him as a scramble-circuited, thrill-seeking veteran of the Clone Wars.) The needs of the many outweighed the needs of... sorry. Wrong franchise.
Was Rex the only one at fault? No. Artoo was the one who set the coordinates for the lightspeed jump and overshot Endor. If not for that miscalculation by the astronavigator, Rex WOULD have taken us to Endor.
So, he's just a guy making the best out of a couple of wrong decisions, and he goes from a nervous neophyte to a straight-shooting hero within five minutes. That's some learning curve.
Who would you rather pilot you around the cosmos? Rex? Or some prissy, panic-prone, doom-saying protocol droid built by Darth Vader?
Time to be "that guy". You DO see the Death Star explode on the ride, but you have to look at the small screen w/ R2 to the right. You can see the explosion in the distance behind him. I only noticed it like, the 2nd to last time I rode it, last yeat.
#3 On the side monitor to the right of the main screen, the Death Star blows up in a rearview video, you go to lightspeed and see the lightspeed star-streaking tunnel also.
"Keep in mind, I'm not the biggest Star Wars fan" So in other words, you have no credibility.
I remember I went on this for the first time when I was 18. I got like physically sick from Star Tours. The ride closed down (due to getting it changed) the next time I went back. Odd.
I'll be honest. I didn't read any comments before this, and I didn't read points 9-1. But after reading #10, I have to point out that Endor isn't a planet, it's a moon. This may have been mentioned, and if so, I apologize. I'm just too drunk to let this one slide right now.
Go backpacking in in some sketchy places and yes...this **** happens.
There are more "Han solo" type tour guide operators than you think...I think the few I've had would shoot first if push came to shove. They have rigged out cars and bus that would put the Falcon to shame.
I remember watching soldiers burn down a house of civilians on a bus trip through Burma.On the Tibetan boarder region, we had to stop for 30 minute long Chinese military troop transport convoys heading to crack skulls in Tibet.
The option to visit contested and un-mapped territory exists and has a market. Lots of rich types and Indiana jones types go. It's a little expensive, but it's available.
Alot of people are clearly screwing over the government or support the rebels in some third world countries. Government officials tend to be mild oppressors at best, and yes men, tool bags at worst. I've had criminal, rebel drivers before....they're the best! They'll lead you to the good spots and merchants. They know how to save your ass in a pinch when somebody is pointing an AK-47 at your head.
The book "Dark Star Safari" has a similar part where the author's convoy/transport has the travelers man guns for protection on a dangerous road in Africa. That truck got lit up like a Christmas tree by bandit machine gun fire.
I've ridden more than one "star tours" type rides. At least it has working A/C!
Am I the only one who noticed that Luca made a cameo in the ride? Surely not there are many more nerdy than I.
So I guess Star Tours is licensed and/or contracted by the Rebellion (how else would they be able to have X-Wings?). Also, I agree about Rex and that whole "first day on the job" thing (on MORE THAN ONE DAY). I can't decide if he or Jar Jar would make a better pilot.
Google in the input: = tntn.us ==you can find many brand names, even more surprising is that he will sell you the unexpected o(∩_∩)o
10) Who the Hell Wants to Take a Tour to Endor?
ANSWER: Star Tours (1.0) was set shortly after "Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi". The Empire had fallen, and the New Republic was starting to take power. While this is going on, a company had formed called "Star Tours" to take tourists on vacation packages to the exotic locales of Tattooine, Hoth and Endor (as an announcer in the queue says, "Star Tours is now offering convenient daily departures to the exotic Moon of Endor. Come spend an afternoon or the entire day with the lovable Ewoks, in their charming tribal villages. It’s a fun-filled visit that you and your family will remember forever! Just ask for the Endor Express. Available only from Star Tours. Non-stop flights leave every few minutes, so don’t delay. Visit Endor today!" C-3PO adds, "Things have certainly changed since we were last there. I thought we were doomed for sure!" This line also clearly cements the time frame of the attraction). However... Imperial Forces are continuing to put up resistance to the forces of the New Republic, and there are rumors that a new, third Death Star (near Endor, no less!) is nearly fully operational. But those are only rumors, right?
9) Why Don't We Ever Get to Endor?
ANSWER: After the narrow escape in the ride, RX-24 (Rex) cancels the trip and returns you to the Star Tours starport. It's worth mentioning that in the Walt Disney World version, Guests originally exited the attraction through a recreation of the Endor moon's hidden Imperial Base's "back door". So, in a way, they did.
8) Why Is the Droid Pilot an Idiot?
ANSWER: In the queue, maintenance droid G2-4T is overheard complaining to a supervisor on his commlink, "Hey! Get off my servos! I’m not the one who purchased all those defective RX pilots." So Rex isn't an idiot so much as defective.
7) Why Doesn't Rex Know How to Leave the Building?
ANSWER: Like the RX-24s, the Starspeeder 3000s are not the most... reliable... ships out there. As G2-4T says, "Gee, I hope the new StarSpeeders run better then the one that brought me here. What a bucket of bolts! You'll never get me on one of those things in a billion light-years." The ship malfunctions and takes a wrong turn, and Rex tries to correct it.
6) Actually, Why Does Rex Have Passengers on His First Day on the Job?
ANSWER: He's a Droid, so it shouldn't matter... right?
5) Who Tractor Beams an Unknown Ship in the Middle of a Battle?
ANSWER: Nobody ever said Imperial Star Destroyer Captains were the brightest bulbs in the Fleet.
4) Why Can the X-Wing Pilots Talk to Star Tours... But Not the Imperials?
ANSWER: Star Tours is using the New Republic frequencies -- not the ones in use by the Imperials.
3) Whose Side Is Star Tours On?
ANSWER: The side of the legitimate government: The New Republic.
2) Whose Side Are You On?
ANSWER: The New Republic's side, of course.
1) What Kind of Tour Company Murders People?
ANSWER: Meh, they're clones. Seriously... Rex only fires in self defense.
Who wrote this? A 15 year old emo Trekkie with nothing else to do? Thanks for wasting my time.PS: STAR TOURS was awesome! It's one of those things you just sit back and enjoy the ride.
I had a bigger problem with the WRONG Death Star being there. Kind of a glaring f-up there.
Robot Jail? Please, he's going to Android Hell, which is a real place.
I was absolutely GIDDY watching that video, but the fact that changing my favorite Disneyland ride makes me sad beyond reason.
What about R2 and CP30 working at Star Tours? WTF? not gonna mention that one? It makes no sense, either this is way after Jedi and there's still a war with the Empire in full force, or this is before Star Wars where there where no death Stars? Either way, CP30 and R2 are employees of star tours.
Remember when waiting in line for 6 hours seemed like a big deal? This was a long, long time ago, before cell phones, iPads, or mp3's....
Oh and am I the only one who remembers years ago when they used to have an Energizer Bunny that hopped through all the different Star Wars worlds on the walls right after you exited the ride? (I think I was more upset when that was removed than when the ride went down.)
Ah I remember when it shut down. One week I went on the ride and (literally) the next week it was closed and I was thinking 'wtf?!' I apparently missed the memo that it was closing... though that would explain why the week before the wait had actually been longer than 5 minutes...
In any case, I don't think that it's actually the Star Tours ship shooting lasers. I remember wondering about that but I think that it's rebel ships shooting them from around you. (Probably thinking, "goddamn tourists!")
Articles written when the ride opened said that Star Tours is a business venture created after the Battle of Endor. Obviously, Endor would be a tourist destination due to its historical import.
The reason Rex is so inept is explained by the photo you use of him. There is a ribbon that says "Remove before flight" that has not been removed. It was user error.
Star Tours is likely operated by the Republic or at least sanctioned by it, explaining why it can communicate with Alliance spacecraft.
I don't know why the Star Destroyer used the tractor beam. Maybe it wants to hold the tourists for ransom.
in answer to all those questions10: Hippies and Environmentalist 9. Cause Disney, being as cheap as they are, did not want to pay for actual star speeders to take them to endor8. Comic relief, without him, star tours would be scary as hell 7. Have you ever tried to pilot out of a space port? its fucking impossible6. Star Tours is obviously a branch of American Airlines 5. If you saw a ship come out of nowhere, i' am pretty sure you would shit your pants and want to make sure they dont hurt4. Rebels and Star Tours use Verison, the Empire uses AT&T3. Obviously the Rebels, Because the Empire is their competition2. I honestly think they dont care at this point, they are on vacation after all 1. it was self defense, they shot us, we shot back....nuff said
This is funny but I can't help but remember that Star Tours was a let down for me when I went to Disneyland it was over all too quickly and I thought it was kind of lame the trench run was recycled from the first movie. But then again about the length of the ride most rides at disneyland where 2 minutes long or something after you had spent a lot longer in line to get on them. But yeah Star Tours was way too short I'm not even sure it was 2 whole minutes.... but I could be remembering that wrong.
Actually, there is a second monitor on the bus that displays the rebel pilot communicating with you, and before you warp away from the battle, the monitor shows you the rear view of the Death Star blowing up.
It's obvious to me that the tour was sabotaged by R2D2, who reprogrammed Rex to make the run on the Death Star. The job gets done, and Rex is the fall-guy.
Why Endor? Probably has something to do with furry sex.
All other questions are explained by this being an alternate time-line.
I know for a fact that the original Star Tours was supposed to take place AFTER Return of the Jedi. If you listened to C3PO's spiel in the line you can hear him talk about the stories he could tell and how he can't believe he's stuck here after what happened in the movies. I always assumed that it took place very close to the end of Jedi and they were cleaning up some imperials, but the fact that they have ANOTHER Death Star is so out of left field.
Before it closed Star Tours was my favorite ride at Disneyland. This is an awesome article. It's an amazing ride, anything that actually takes us into the Star Wars universe is amazing, but it's hilarious to see all the inconsistencies calculatingly laid out. I'm trying to remain optimistic about the re-opening in June. Yes it's going to have things like the pod race but this is for a ride, the story is not nearly as important as it is in a movie and as far as pure entertainment value goes, being in a pod race might be pretty fun.
Supposedly this ride takes place after the trilogy and star tours offers this "fantasy tour" where you are involved in a fight, at least that's what I've heard.
More of your customary brilliance, Ethan--bravo!
I've never been to Disneyland so I have no personal experience with this ride. All I can say is I'd much rather go on it at 34--now that I've learned an ounce of tact and self-restraint, than when I was in the ride's target demographic. Ten year old me would have made an utter nuisance of himself constantly whining about the inconsistencies and plot-holes...I'm not entirely certain he'd have made it out aliveXD
I love this ride. Where else can you join X-Wings and fly down the Death Star trench? :)But, this article does a great job of finding faults. I think the same person who programmed the pilot-droid also programmed the battle droids in the prequels.Here are some more:1) Did the Empire really build another Death Star over Endor? Or did we (as Star Tours) arrive just when the Death Star Was getting ready to finally destroy Endor? That makes some sense since the Rebels are already there.2) And like you say, just because the Death Star blows up, that's no reason for us to return home. I paid for a trip to Endor!
I have honestly never thought about any of these questions until now. I am a Disneyland annual passholder and have been on this ride countless times and will even be in Disney World for the opening of the new one on May 20th. I guess it has always been a chance to just be in the SW world for 5 minutes.
