The 13 Top Lawyers in Comic Books

By Matthew Catania in Comics, Daily Lists
Thursday, May 26, 2011 at 8:01 am
7) Judge Dredd
Most of the entrants on this list are lawyers that engage in extracurricular vigilantism. Not so with Judge Dredd, the finest lawman to wear fascist regalia and wield a Lawgiver in Mega-City One. In the distant future of 2000 A.D. (not a typo), the Judges put Dick Wolf to shame by combining law and order into one government sanctioned package capable of dispensing instant draconian sentencing. The downside is that the legal system is pretty lopsided since Dredd and his brethren are exclusively prosecutors.

6) Manhunter
Kate Spencer is a single mom who is the sixth in incarnation in the Manhunter legacy. She stole some dead heroes' gadgets to kill the cannibal contortionist Copperhead. She defended Wonder Woman that time she was charged with murder for breaking Maxwell Lord's neck on live TV. She got her acquitted on self-defense, but diplomatic immunity would've worked too. The third Manhunter was also a lawyer, but his origin is retcon city.

5) Alanna Wolff & Jeff Byrd
These counselors to the macabre are the comedic precursors to Wolfram & Hart. They even represented vampires against Myrtle the Vampire Hater. Their EC Comics-esque tile was abbreviated to Supernatural Law when Hollywood convinced creator Batton Lash that audiences had no attention span beyond two words before it abandoned the film adaptation in Development Hell.

4) Eclipso
Jean Loring was the Atom's ex-wife who was once driven mad by subatomic aliens. She would later relapse, probably from doing estate planning for the perpetually resurrecting Hawkman and Chronos. To win the Atom back, Jean gave Sue Dibny, Elongated Man's wife, an aneurysm by stomping around in her brain and blowtorching her body. Her plan only worked briefly. Jean became Eclipso when she found the Heart of Darkness diamond in Arkham Asylum, which doesn't believe in contraband. Mary Marvel disproved a joke about professional courtesy by feeding Eclipso to sharks.

3) Daredevil
daredevil law.jpg
Even though he can read normal type with his enhanced sense of touch, Matt Murdock has to pretend he isn't superhuman by depending on Braille. The fact that he still graduated Valedictorian from Columbia Law is the real reason Daredevil is a babe magnet, even though his death dick drastically increases the odds of his girlfriends being impaled by Bullseye.

2) Harvey Dent/Two-Face
Harvey Dent was Gotham City's District Attorney and ally to Batman until exactly half of his face was scarred by acid. Now armed with his double-headed coin, he's the Patron Saint of the indecisive and the chaotic neutral. True to his name, he was played by both Billy Dee Williams and Tommy Lee Jones in a single franchise. His character arc was cut short when he was crammed into the last act of The Dark Knight and abruptly killed. Yeah, Nolan worshippers, I went there.

1) She-Hulk
It's a travesty that Jennifer Walters will always be overshadowed by her more famous cousin, the Hulk. Unlike that personification of roid rage, Jen loses neither her wit nor legal savvy when she becomes She-Hulk. Not only is she a member of the prestigious Order of the Coif, her superhero exploits are rarely an attempt to compensate for poor courtroom performance. She-Hulk wisely convinced The Living Tribunal not to erase the main Marvel universe in favor of the Ultimate one. Her chiseled physique sets a more realistic body image for woman than superstrong superheroines built like waifs, and her mind is powerful enough to break The Fourth Wall. This legal libertine didn't just pass the Bar; she set it for the rest of comic book-dom.

Email Print

Sponsor Content