I have a nook and would prefer to side-load the .epub file, rather than be tied into the google thingy.
WARNING: There is technically nothing in this video of the villains from Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark performing the atrocious "A Freak Like Me Needs Company" a few weeks ago on Letterman that is not safe for work. It's technically not obscene. And yet, watching it made me feel just like I did when I was tricked into seeing Goatse, Tubgirl and 2 Girls 1 Cup -- upset and nauseated and sad and disturbed and angry that anyone would do such an awful thing and then record it and for other people to watch. It's a wrongness so supreme that it shifts your entire perception of reality, of what awfulness people are truly capable of, totally and irrevocably -- a complete negation, if not an outright violation, of all social norms, civilization and human nicety.
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Okay, maybe it's not quite that bad, but lord, it isn't good. Thanks to John M. for the tip.
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Okay, maybe it's not quite that bad, but lord, it isn't good. Thanks to John M. for the tip.
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220 comments
latest gadgets reviewsTo top it off, THEY AREN'T EVEN GOOD SINGERS. Have these guys ever even read a Spider-Man comic
I was in New York a couple of weeks ago. You have no idea how glad I am to have damaged this bullet. I avoided all the videos and promotional material posted on here like Lot fleeing Gomorrah, and now my brain has turned into salt.
Man, I'm not even into Spider-Man and yet this makes me feel bad for the franchise. The costumes were horrible. Why was there an excercise group and three mad scientists (or were those three young ladies in tinfoil-hah! how appropriate-supposed to be aliens or robots or-you know what, I don't want to know) dancing with the bad guys? Why did the costumes suck that god-damn much????!! Is Richard Simmons gonna pop up next? The saddest part, though, is how damn excited the cast itself looked just to be there. That makes me sad-although at least the cast seems to really love their careers, so I can't really fault them for that (I suppose there's a lot of people out there that just wish they could be that happy with their jobs)-in fact that's also a sort of warm fuzzy feeling, seeing that they're that happy in their jobs. I think my brain broke watching that-now I'm rambling. At least the song was catchy. Oh god, what if they try to pull of this kind of shit with Transformers? Just imagine it everyone! Transformers the Musical-produced by Andrew Lloyd Weber.
Why does the Green Goblin have the back-up neon colored goons from Batman and Robin? Their version of the Lizard makes me think the Tick is going to show up and try to stuff a giant aspirin down his throat.
Ok. The next time you say "Don't watch", I take it seriously and I don't watch.I promise.
I watched this with the sound off, and it still made my ears bleed. Considering the multi-millions spent making this piece of crap production, you'd think they'd nail down the costume part, but no. The one dude in the bee suit (and I have no idea who this is, after having read hundreds of Spider-Man comics) lost one of his bees. I'm also confused as to why Swiss Miss is black (I'm assuming). I don't think of black people when I think of Switzerland, but perhaps I need to visit the "New" Switzerland, and also stop being racist. To me, a super-villainess with a Swiss-Miss motif should have hot cocoa that shoots out of a coo-koo clock, or else have a heart filled with neutrality.
The choreography is horrendous, the lyrics are bland, the costumes are awful. Funny enough I think this may have been better under Taymor - at least then the entire package was sufficiently abyssal to be interesting.
Still, Max Bialystock is continually impressed with Mr. Bono and Mr. The Edge.
I am gonna be on the short list here, but I think for a broadway production, it looked pretty good. The costumes are exactly what I expect from broadway, bright, ridiculous, and over the top. I actually liked the guy being goblin, again from a theater point of view. I think this would be fun to watch. Not great, but fun.
It is true that costume design for a theatrical production like this has to be visible from a distance, and sometimes this means it looks pretty ridiculous up close (even the front row isn't as close as most of those camera shots). However even with the longer shots in that clip I thought the costumes looked pretty awful, and I the choreography seemed stilted and awkward. If people are going to dance during a musical number it add to the music, these people just seemed to be striking poses and flailing about at random.
If this had been put together quickly and with a reasonable budget I wouldn't really care - I'd say this was intended to be easy fun and there is no reason to hold it up to high standards. But given its history and given the pompousness of those behind it I don't think it's improper to expect more from it.
And I think you're crazy. For a Broadway production, especially one that cost as much as this monstrosity did, it's a horrendous pile of crap. The choreographer hurts my eyes to watch and the singing is atrocious. This would all be fine and dandy if this was done in the basement of a church in Nebraska for a community fundraiser, but for Broadway... BROADWAY... this is a sin. An unforgivable sin.
At 0:40 he does sing "I'm a 65 million dollars circus tragedy", they win points for being meta here, right?
Norman Osborn, who plays the Green Goblin, has been pretty glib about the production on a few occasions. This obviously wasn't ad libbing on his part, much as I wish that was the case, but it still made me smile.
It's more like 75 million, actually.
(A lyric clearly written relatively early in the show's production...)
Now that I've read through 150 comments, I'll add the only thing I can that hasn't already been said:
I've seen better choreography in a 4th grade recital of :Recycle: It's good for the bottle. It's good for the can."
So, we now know what it takes to make a modern musical. American Idol rejects, check. Bad street performance artist for back up dancers, check. Costumes that make the blind scream with agony over their design, check. Pissing all over a classic, check. Stir. Mix in vile and blood of firstborn to make sure it gets to Broadway. Add more firstborn to get on air with Letterman. .......Be right back, I have to vomit up my last six months lunches. .......
Since I think everything that needs to be said about Turn Off the Light has been covered, I'll just ask this: Holy Fuck, when did Letterman get so OLD? I guess that's what not watching a show for 10 years will do to a sense of perspective.
When his producers told him they were being paid to put this on his show, his body aged spontaneously twenty years trying to die before the horror could be inflicted.
It didn't work...
Did they look at random Spiderman comics and then make up two new stupid villians (Swiss Miss and the man made of bees)? Kraven "likes animals a little too much". should have had a goat attached to his front
My question is:Did Stan Lee approve of this?!?I'd love to know what he thinks of this travesty.
Hahahahaha.... absolutely horribly fantastic. However. I'm upset to see that other people already made Leno jokes.
I could only watch 5 seconds of it before I started gagging, but the first thing I thought was that green dude looked like the derpy alien from "The Corbomite Maneuver".
Why didn't anyone throw something at what I can only assume is the green goblin and tell him to shut his fucking mouth?
Why . . . why are those people clapping?! Why are they cheering for something like that?!Did Letterman host a group of BDSM freaks for that show?!
Also: Did anyone else notice that Swarm was falling apart?
The Goblin released laughing gas into the studio. The audience died sometime afterward, in a horrifying rictus.
.... ..... that's his MO, right?
'And yet, watching it made me feel just like I did when I was tricked into seeing Goatse, Tubgirl and 2 Girls 1 Cup ' ... Not as bad as the ET porn then?
This is an improvement on the balls-out-insane version of this show as seen in previews??? I saw the full-tilt psychotic breakdown version in early December and I recall this as originally having a different (though no less awful) song, no real intros for the characters, and it happened in the context of the villains being in some kind of evil beauty pageant as they each hit a fashion show-styled catwalk as blinding lights punctuated their entrances. It sucked then and it's somehow even worse now. I just hope that someday they'll release a DVD of the pre-reboot version just so that those of you who missed it can see it all all of its madness-inducing anti-glory.
The music itself ain't bad. It's the costume design, the coreography, that makes me go GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Wow. That is some Schumacher levels of bullshit. Never thought I'd miss the Rami Power Ranger Goblin costume. Actually, it's not that bad compared to those really lame back up dancers in like tank tops, flannel, and facepaint all in neon green. Holy hell. It's like the 90s just vomited up singers and splashed silver paint on them to dance with him.
And I can't even comment on that Sinister Six. My brain broke long before then...
At first, I thought "oh this isn't as bad as I expected. Not good, but nearly that bad."
And then they brought out the Sinister Six.
Excuse me, I have to go out an buy a gallon of brain bleach.
