"This" being the Star Wars porn parody. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my pornography to be... arousing? Sexy? Appear to have more than one woman in it? And to all you who sent me this trailer saying it was funny -- you're fucking crazy. It's not funny. Which I would be fine with -- how many people watch porn for the chuckles, really -- if, you know, it seemed even slightly erotic. Look, porn industry, the internet has mined all the humor out of A New Hope already. You're not going to think of anything we haven't already. So stop worrying about the jokes, and start worrying about how you can cram more women into the movie.
That was a poor word choice. My apologies. (Via Obvious Winner)
That was a poor word choice. My apologies. (Via Obvious Winner)
Tags: Pornography, Star Wars
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97 comments
If any of you were tough at all you'd make an ET/Simpsons porn crossover and school these hoes.
I say this every time Nerd Porn is announced: What the hell happened to the good ol' days of porn where you'd get movie names like Shaving Private Ryan, Flesh Gordon, Field of Creams or Star Trek: The Wrath of Dong. But nowendays, it's all "Batman: an XXX Parody" or "Justice Leauge: an XXX Parody" Seriously, they couldn't come up with something creative like "The Empire's Back Door", "Return of the Brown Eye" or even just something simple like "Star Whores"? Epic fail
Pretty sure they tack on the "XXX Parody" part to be very obvious about dodging a lawsuit.
I don't like this studio. The coolest thing about porn parodies are the names: Sexorcist, On Golden Blonde, Hannah Does Her Sisters, Lust of the Mohicans, You've Got Tail, In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon, and tons of others. With these, it's just "_________ XXX: A Porn Parody" What gives?
Why can't their ever be a GAY parody of something? I mean superhero gay porn should be the god damn norm, I think.
Mmmm . . . Superman is SUCH a bottom :p
If Princess Leia doesn't get rug burn from Chewie, I would call this an inaccurate Star Wars porn parody...
Why do I get this sick feeling that we're going to see Bridget The Midget painted blue and white?
So, Han/Leia and Luke/Leia incest? Or Han/Leia and Han/Luke bi porn? Or Han/Leia/Luke threesome that is both incest and bisexuality? Wow, sounds like we could have a FFF triple-feature.
How many porn parodies have been made from Star Wars? Is there some resource on the internet where we can check this? The parodies are even being parodied now.
This is proof that we, as a society, need to call a moratorium on Star Wars parodies. Every scene and every line of dialouge from every movie has been lampooned, quoted, requoted, paraphrased, reimagined, alluded to, and played out at least 1000 times in every possible media. Please, people, can we just stop for awhile? We get it. Star Wars was a huge cultural phenomenom. Now knock it off!
How in the world do you create a Star Wars porn parody and not even have a sneak peek at Slave Leia in the trailer? This makes no sense.
Obviously they're going to bang a trilogy out of this at the very least. Look for that in number 3.
Maybe in this case it stands for "Master."
Of course, if she wasn't a Jedi Master, than I guess that joke's shot to hell.
No, no, then you get the fun of Anakin/Padmé/Obi-Wan three-way sex. Anakin/Obi-Wan because the Revenge of the Sith novelization says it all. Anakin/Padmé for obvious reasons, and she can be a MILK. (The Expanded Universe uses "kriff" to mean "fuck".) Obi-Wan/Padmé because...nobody likes Anakin/Padmé.
By the way, this makes Aayla Secura a, you guessed it, blue MILK.
i think id rather watch the rehashed version of the 70's The Incredible Hulk porno than this one .
***NOT SAFE FOR WORK***( cover )(http://static.rarbg.com/poster...
what's wrong with Chewie's face?why aren't the x-wings MORE like phalluses?why isn't Vader done up like an S&M dominatrix?is that Rob as Obiwan getting drunk on #7?WHAT'S WRONG WITH CHEWIE'S FACE?also - ALIENS!
Vader also looks like a giant black (circumcised) penis from the back, oddly with Hebrew lettering on his chest plate. Since Jedi robes have hoods, and since Vader introduced Luke to the Sith by cutting off his hand, one could even...One should point out that circumcision is the ENTIRE REASON for Freud's Oedipal conflict. Well, that and a few Greek father-killing myths.
Not funny. And they are using copyrighted sounds, music and costumes. Can't wait until Lucas sues.
No way this could have even gotten this far without kissing George's ring first.
Unpleasant as it sounds, I'm sure this has the approval of Lucasfilm...I mean these are the people who copyrighted the word "Droid"...I doubt they'd just let something like this go.
Five Scenes You Hope They Don't Put In Star Wars XXX:
5: "You know, Artoo, as a protocol droid, I am fully functional, trained in multiple techniques... now where's that flamethrower attachment?"
4: "So wait... Max Rebo's name is short for MAXINE? ... stay right there, Chewie. I'll be... right back..."
3: "Oh, Beru... you still got the sweetest ass... come here, baby!"
2: "IT'S A TRAP!"
1: "Koona t'chuta, Solo? Ha ha ha... nallya dumpa, chuba dopa-maskey kung! (Going somewhere, Solo? Ha ha ha... get low down, you two faced scum!)"
Wait until they do the Expanded Universe. Han and Leia's son goes darkside, turns Luke's son along with him. Luke's son defects back to the good side, so Han and Leia's son gets a new Sith apprentice, who then tortures and molests Luke's son. Seriously.
This same author, Troy Denning, also has Han and Leia's daughter in a devil's threesome. Thankfully not with her brothers or her cousin.
Vader: Her resistance to the mind probe is considerable, it will be some time before we can extract any information from her.
Random Stormtrooper: Whatever you say, sir.....(pervert)
The interrogation already scans like a porno, if you've ever heard the Star Wars Radio Drama:
"The injection arm is PRIMED!"
"Vader, keep that thing away from me!!!"
"Don't you wish to *please* your father!?" (seriously, it's almost prescient, in that regard)
I was going to say, that is the REAL question that people should be asking.
My vote is yes he will, and also yes that he should. I mean, they practically made out in one sceen in the Empire Strikes Back, so if that happens in the PG version, then it's like a given that they've got to have sex in the porn. Or at the very least he gets head from her...
I was wondering about that. I think they'll do it, just a question as to whether or not they'll do the sibling reveal or not. they could either leave it only implied or act as f it's not part of this story.
Maybe if it does well, they will do the sequels and we can get to Return of the Jedi.
Actually if they just did one on Jabba's palace it would be nerd gold.
I felt a great disturbance in the Balls, as if millions of voices suddenly came out in ejaculation and were suddenly silenced.
George Lucas said a kiss is code for sex in Star Wars. If so, that means Luke and Han were sharing Leia for two movies. And Return of the Jedi just became even more gross.
From the looks of things Leia's gonna have to have sex with most of the male characters just to make the porno more than an hour long... Oh dear, I can just picture the dialouge now:
Scene #1 Leia and C3-PO: "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"Scene #2 Leia and Stormtrooper #14: "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"Scene #3 Leia and Ben Kenobi: "Just me, the boy, two droids...no questions asked"Scene #4 Leia and Chewie: "Get in there, you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"Scene #5 Leia and Han: "I must've hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"Scene #6 Leia and Luke: "Luke, at that speed do you think that you'll be able to pull out in time?"
