10 Songs for Supervillains

By Elizabeth Peterson in Daily Lists, Miscellaneous
Monday, October 3, 2011 at 8:09 am
5) "I Can't Decide" by Scissor Sisters
Sometimes a villain is pure pants-on-head crazy, hearing constant mental drumbeats, gassing politicians, and tormenting elderly versions of archenemies. Speaking of archenemies, maybe you are really into your rival, like whoa. To say that you are obsessed is putting it lightly. You can't decide on one fate that is horrible enough, so you choose all of them and top it off with the worst. "I Can't Decide" by the gloriously campy disco-pop band Scissor Sisters is the song for you, and the most recent incarnation of The Doctor's old rival The Master is your inspiration! This is a great song for villains with a Joker-like sense of the theatrical, so much so that intervals of manic giggling compliment it like a fine wine.

4) "Supervillain" by Powerman 5000
Times are tough for supervillains. Just when you get into the swing of things, the universe reboots. Suddenly you are alive again in a brand new yet suspiciously familiar city to wreck havoc upon. Maybe the Guild of Calamitous Intent is harshing your buzz with too much paperwork and logistics of proper arching. Maybe the Annihilatrix is on the fritz again. Point is, even evil gets the blues now and then. This is when you crank up Powerman 5000's "Supervillain" and remind yourself of how gloriously enjoyable villainy can be, and how, no matter how hard the 90's tried, the heroes will never be as metal as you. Let Rob Zombie's little brother bounce around and remind you why you want to live like a supervillain.

3) "Slipping" from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
People love to wax poetical about the hero's journey, but who talks about the villain's journey? It's not like a person just wakes up evil one day with plans for world domination fully realized. Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog is the story of a normal man's descent from casual to full-scale villainy. "Slipping" captures the moment Billy realizes the power fear and pain has over others. (Just remember to keep that freeze ray charged, folks.) Why this song and not "Brand New Day?" Because while "Brand New Day" is all about the fantasy of villainy and vengeance, "Slipping" shows how a real act of evil sets Billy on his course to become a true villain, one whose actions can never be redeemed.

2) "Still Alive" from Portal
Yes, yes, it's so very 2007. But "Still Alive" is still a great villain song. The combination of Jonathan Coulton's songwriting and Ellen McLain's expressive, winsome vocals makes it an unforgettable post-game anthem. This song expresses GLaDOS's satisfaction and feelings of success in face of supposed defeat. Even if it seems like the hero has won, and you've been torn to pieces, thrown into a fire, and had your heart broken, you're still alive. Think of your defeat as an experiment. When you're a villain, you do what you must because you can. Everything's going according to plan after all. Now warm up that death ray and go get `em, tiger!

1) "The Hounds" by The Protomen
There's nothing like a good old-fashioned vow of vengeance. Dr. Wiley's song "The Hounds" marks the beginning of a glorious rivalry between two scientists, one who wants to save humanity and another who wants to enslave it. This poetic, dark and jazzy anthem of hatred is brought to you by The Protomen, a mysterious group of musicians who joined forces to turn the plot of Mega Man into a dark, dramatic dystopian dreamscape of a rock opera. "The Hounds" is a song of villainous resolve that takes place just before Wiley seizes control of the media to manipulate the public's attention like the easily led cattle they are. Play this song to get in the mood just before showing all those fools why they should've listened to you in the first place.

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