Fan Fiction Friday: Shadow the Hedgehog in "Death Cannot Separate Us"

By Rob Bricken in Nerdery, Video Games
Friday, October 5, 2012 at 1:48 pm
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One thing before we start today: When my computer died last week, I lost about 100 bookmarked fan fics. Not all of them were good FFF material, but they were all potential FFFs, and now I'm left with nothing. What I'm saying is that if you know a fan fic that might make good FFF material, please go ahead and email them to me. Right now I'm just wandered the dismal, sticky halls of AdultFanFiction.net, hoping to find something interestingly awful.

I don't know that this story by Corpsegringer666 is particularly interesting, but hoo boy, it sure is awful. Like, really awful. Like, reading it -- even my FFF version -- is just an exercise in futile self-hate and despair. It was sent to me by Canis Minor, so please blame him when this is all over. I just work here.


Warning: The story is really dumb and really fucking gross. There's no shame in not reading it. Actually, there's a great deal of happiness and contentment in not reading it.

In the cold darkness at Station Square Cemetary, the smokey clouds creeped over the full moon. Crickets chirped and the dust floated in the lifeless grave. There were no shadows moving...Except for one. Footsteps filled the semi silence in the graveyard. A black hedgehog with a flashlight broke the lock on the gate with his un-natural strength and walked inside. 

That sounds weirdly racist.

He looked around as if looking for something.. A grave? He knew what he was looking for..

Well, that might explain why he's in a graveyard, then.

Shadow walked along each tombstone searching for the one he loved so much. Nothing was found..yet. He continued on lighting up each stone with the flashlight, looking at the names of each one.

Amy..I'm coming..

Shadow said in his mind. He remembered her death well. The doctors told him she had cancer and that she only had a few months to live. It was the most shocking thing he had ever experienced, more shocking than Maria's death. Suddenly his flashlight lit up a stone with a familiar name on it.

Decency? Good Taste? Sanity?

Amy Rose

RIP

I hope no one paid too much for Amy's tombstone, because it's pretty lackluster, if you ask me.

"Amy!" He said with huge volume in his smooth voice. As he stood in front of Amy's grave he caressed the tombstone lovingly.

"Not even death can seperate us, Amy."

Warning: Shadow means "separate" in the sense of "keep us from fucking." 

He embraced the tombstone, tears flowing from his eyes. Sick and twisted thoughts began to run through his mind. He breathed slowly and erotically knowing what it was that hit his mind. 

How can one erotically know something?

Without hesitation, he began to dig up the coffin that was buried beneath him. 

Hey! I thought only Knuckles could dig!

When he reached the coffin, he gripped the lid and tore it off with all his strength letting out a rancid smell of rotting flesh. "Amy.." He said as he panted slowly. The smell didn't bother Shadow, all that was on his mind was making love to Amy. Staring at her maggot infested body he gripped his member and began to masturbate. His mouth hung open and his breathes were fast. Scents of putrefaction filled Shadow's nostrils as he gazed at Amy's month old corpse while stroking his erection.

I've been watching the original Prime Suspect this weekend with Ms. Robot, where I learned something that I never thought about before: The only time corpses (of anything) get infested with maggots in when they're located above ground because, of course, flies don't dig. To be infested with maggots, Amy's corpse would have to have stayed above ground for a time before being buried. That, or a living fly got into her coffin right before they buried it. 

The point this story about a hedgehog raping the underage corpse of another hedgehog isn't particularly realistic.

"Amy! I love you Amy!"

He cried out, the pleasure intense. He suddenly fell onto her corpse, kissing it on the lips and moaning. His lips were now covered with bile and stink. He then tongued her maggot infested breasts while fingering her pussy that was filled with maggots and blood.

This dude really likes maggots. 

"I'll always love you, Amy."

He whispered as he licked the nipples. 

What? The maggots don't like nipples? What's their problem?

Continueing to finger her vile pussy, he went up to her mouth and stuck his tongue inside, feeling around. The smell was so unbearable but that did not stop Shadow. All his other senses seemed to fade the more he fucked Amy's half decayed stiff. Taking his finger out of the hole full of writing maggots he went under her and began licking the anus, puking as he did so. His member twitched and ached as pre-cum oozed from it. He moaned and breathed heavily as he tongued and licked the anal discust before him. Puking again, this time all over Amy's butt, he looked at it as if it were something beautifull.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that corpsegrinder666 has a hard time getting dates.

"Amy..Oh Amy.."

He said while moaning and boobing her breasts. 

ASPLODE

I have no idea what "boobing her breasts" means, but it's like the beautiful flower blooming out of the pile of shit. Hey. Wait. There's not going to be shit, is there?

His member hardened even more, aching to be inside her. Readying himself he took a moment to make sure his erection was lined up. Then he shoved it in and began pumping.

"Oh..ugnh..oh..a..am..Amy.."

He moaned. The pleasure rose the more he pumped. Bile, pus and other fluids seeped out of Amy's vagina as it was filled with Shadow's dick.

Dude, I'm not a necrophiliac, so I maybe I shouldn't be telling you what's what, but if bile's coming out of it it probably isn't Amy's vagina that you've stuck your dick in. Just an observation.

"Ugnh..ngh..Ah.." Shadow went faster as the intensity and pleasure rose more. Slimy maggots and worms fell onto his face. 

Did Shadow put Amy's corpse on top? That's... weird. And I say that knowing this was already a story about a hedgehog raping the rotting, underage corpse of another hedgehog

He shook them off and focused on Amy's corpse. 

"We were here firrrrsssssstttt..." yelled the maggots as they flew off Shadow's head.

A hot and red feeling filled Shadow, making his heart beat faster. The seed in his balls ready to burst. He moaned and grunted as he bucked his hips, lifting Amy up. Worms, stomach matter and feces erupted from Amy's mouth as a result of pressing his hands on the stomach. 

Did Amy eat a lot of shit right before she died? Christ. I never thought there'd be anything worse that a necrophiliac gore fic, but it turns out there is -- a necrophiliac gore fic written by an idiot. IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A PERVERT AT LEAST DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH FIRST GODDAMMIT

Discusting and vile putred slop dribbled onto the back of Amy's head and onto Shadow's face. This still did not stop Shadow, the intense feeling in his body grew as the white seed in his testes becoming even more eager to explode.

The first person who can tell me what position Shadow and Amy are in so that Amy can drip her bodily fluids onto the back of her own head and Shadow's face wins the eternal horror of knowing you spent actual time thinking about this story.

"Unnghh..Ah..Ahhh"

It was only a matter of time before his climax would hit. He pumped rapidly, feeling out of control. His dick hardening even more as he started pumping with fury.

The real tragedy here is that reading this is still more fun than playing Sonic Heroes.

"Amy..AMY!"

He was panting as he entered pre-climax. He felt the fluids rush through hiis urethra into Amy's pussy, then the climax came. 

Bile and shit and maggots gushed out of Shadow's penis! Probably!

Shadow sighed and bucked as he ejected, moaning her name. When it was over, he pulled out his member and looked at it. When he did, he noticed it wasn't cum, it was blood.

I..came blood?

"Oh my god!" yelled Shadow. "A tiny bit of blood came out of my penis while I was fucking this rotting animal carcass! I MUST SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY! FOR THE BLOOD THING!"

Shadow realized he had just came blood into the corpse's pussy, but for some reason it actually aroused him. He wondered for a second on what to do next. So many twisted ideas flooded his head. He then noticed he needed to take a leek. Grinning in a naughty way, he moved himself up until his stiff member went into the reeking, rotting anus. letting loose his bladder muscle, he let the urine flow into the hole. 

"Dude!" yelled the maggots. "We're fucking eating in here!"

Piss dripped from the anus back onto Shadow's belly. Shadow then pulled out his member and sat back for a minute. Tired and relaxed, he got up, shook and brushed all the filth on his body. He sighed a relaxed sigh.

"That was great Amy."

He said to the corpse.

"Although I'm still quite confused why shit came out of your mouth and bile came out of your vagina. That seems wrong, somehow."

"We'll have to do that again sometime"

He winked, and with those words he re-buried Amy's rotting, stinking cadaver that was now filled with Shadow's blood and piss. Afterwards he walked out of the graveyard and closed the gate as he smiled, looking back at Amy's grave.

Not even death can seperate us...My Rose...

THE END. Although there are a few other tales in the Nekrohedgehog saga here if you're so inclined. You shouldn't be inclined.  Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go beat corpsegrinder666 to detah with a Human Anatomy and Biology textbook.

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