"Sir! This person was stabbed. With a blunt object. In the same hole. Repeatedly!"

(facepalm) (mutter) That's not a dildo. It's a buttplug. The crossbar is a dead giveaway. I'm oddly reminded of my mother asking me to explain "lie back and think of England..."

-mad cackle, faints-

Maybe some people just loike the idea of having sex with people who appear to be twenty feet away. I'm going to go with that concept.

Anyone down for some archive digging to find old posts the "Things Meant to Stab People in the Anus" tag should be retroactively applied to?

Aside from "old posts," I mean.

As I understand it, the reasoning for smaller sizing on some Love Pillows is two-fold:  to keep costs low, and to preserve space, as many fans have multiple pillows.

The small size is creepy, but in this instance, likely not pedophilic.

When these products aim for pedophilic, they do so with a gusto that is positively horrifying and entirely unmistakable.

you know, i am disapointed that the anus dagger doesn't glow. how will et phone home now???

At least they chose the right color for The Anus Dagger, but then again how could one tell if it's um..soiled. (punches self repeatedly in the face)

I can understand the dildo part, what is that collar looking thing that come with it? Do I even want to know? Why did I ask? Why can't I stop asking pointless questions? Are my ears bleeding? They should be.

'Anus' and 'dagger'. Two words that have no business being next to each other. 

Or in each other.

I honestly don't get how one of these is SFW and one NSFW...  both are certainly horrifying things from the land of the rising wtf.

That pillow and how tiny it is.. geez.. even I have larger body pillows than that.

Um..  I mean.. um.. One was a gift and the other was bought for laughs. It's still in its plastic bag!  I swear!  Um.. it's for a cosplay.. maybe.. kinda..   Probably shouldn't add that it goes along with a collection of figures..

Once again bringing up the whole safe or not safe for insertion conversation from the ET FFF.

Meh, I've got enough anus daggers already. 

alright then, internet...

A fun present for a newly minted convict?

That dildo looks like something you'd find inside a Dalek.

Dear Japan,

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26000000/Northern-Italy-Hetalia-anime-26006260-430-238.gif

Rob, why would you think that a vibrating dildo is any less deserving of a NSFW jump? That's a bias against dildos if I ever saw one! Also, why, god, whyyyyyyy...

I knew we were in trouble when a product called, "The Anus Dagger" with picture was considered the safer of the two.

Because "The Anus Dagger" is totally SFW. LOL.

Wait... I'm not sure I understand, do I wear and use this while anticipating Star Wars 7 or just while I'm watching it??