"The Monkey" did not require the assistance of Stephen King to be "creepy". Those damn cymbal-banging monkeys are nightmarishly creepy all on their own. I have a theory that they are stuffed with an evil spirit by the manufacturer before shipment.
5. Ella
What started out as the beginning of a beautiful friendship between quadriplegic Alan and his helper monkey Ella turned sinister in George Romero's Monkey Shines. After bonding over some tunes, Ella and Alan developed a deeper, possibly psychic bond that turned the monkey from a helper into a murderer. The monkey's killing spree included setting a house on fire, electrocuting an old woman in a bathtub and injecting a doctor with his own syringe. Whether Ella was actually evil or just Alan's pawn remains to be seen, but we still feel kind of bad for how she got taken out at the end of the movie.
4. The Monkey in The Monkey
Stephen King can make anything creepy, including cymbal-banging toy monkeys. His tale "The Monkey" first appeared in Gallery magazine and then in the short story collection Skeleton Crew. The story follows a young boy who discovers the toy monkey only to find out that, with every cymbal clap, someone dies. The possessed toy tormented the boy's father who does his best to put a stop to the evil once and for all.
3. King Gorilla
Any number of evil,talking ape characters could have made this list, but King Gorilla from The Venture Bros. tops them all. King, a one time member of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, was kicked out of the gang for killing and then raping Mötley Crüe's Vince Neil on a reality show. The Tarzan-obsessed creature kidnapped the Monarch and intended to give him a fate similar to Neil's, but the Monarch's inherent femininity scared him off.
2. BrainiApe
Source: Savage Dragon Wiki
Nazis and primates seem to go together like land mines and unsuspecting villages. But what happens when you take one of the greatest monsters history has ever known and combine that with one of the strongest creatures on the planet? BrainiApe, a Savage Dragon villain with Hitler's brain on a giant ape body. Making matters worse, this new nefarious concoction can control gravity and peoples' minds. Luckily for the world, Solar Man eventually came along and disintegrated that damn dirty ape.
1. All The Gorillas
Here's how a Planet of the Apes film breaks down: You've got the science-minded chimps trying to further ape existence, the government-oriented orangutans trying to keep order and the warmongering, human-hating gorillas who make up the community's fighting forces.
Almost every dickish thing done by the apes in these movies comes from the gorillas.
They're the ones hunting humans in the beginning of the Planet, they're the ones who try to kill Taylor several times and they're the ones that ultimately lead to the destruction of their city.
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Tags: Captain Simian, Donkey Kong, Fantastic Four, Godzilla, King Kong, Monkey Shines, Monkeys, Planet of the Apes, Savage Dragon, Venture Bros.
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98 comments
Dude, the bone-weilding chimp from The Dawn Of Man sequence in Space Odyssey? HE INVENTED MURDER (with a little help from a monolith). He's frickin' Adam and Cain in one flea-bitten package.
"bad opposable thumb-less creatures"
Sigh...apes and many 'monkeys' do have opposable thumbs. Whereas there are a lot of non-primate creatures that do not have opposable thumbs. So either way, this doesn't apply to the topic very well.
Um, you do know that we're primates too, right? Perhaps simian would have been the better word.
Ugh, you're really reaching dude. Plus, wizard of Oz monkeys and mojo jojo! I realize in creating redundant internet lists you must pick strange choices for the sake of, um, something. Rabble rabble!
If we are talking monkeys...how do you not have the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz on the top of this list??
@stanley.tehee The flying monkeys were not really evil- they were just as glad as the guards when Dorothy melted the WW.
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I refuse to read this article because the author is too stupid to know the difference between monkeys and apes.
Um... Grodd? Monsieur Mallah? The monkey from Venture Brothers over them? Honestly.
The Monkey from Mark Millar's Superior even I would take. Technically a Demon but more the point.
Mojo! (2nd edit) Mojo Jojo, ffs. even Monkeyfist....
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I just knew from the one page I was able to read on lunchbreak (thanks to my cheap phone) that the Evil Cymbal-Banging Monkey from Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders would be missing. A real nerd writer would at least mention that in passing when discussing Monkey Shines, because a nerd would know that part of the movie was a re-edited rip-off of King's short story The Monkey called The Devil's Gift.
tl;dr No Evil Cymbal-Banging Monkey from MST = fail.
(oh, and Mojo Jojo was also robbed)
ok so Grod and Mojo are easy to see were missed as EVERYONE keeps telling you this but what about Cy-Gor from Spawn??? not only was he hell bent on killing Spawn but he did kill Kali the goddess of death and became the new avatar of death.... that's pretty evil....
No Mallah? I mean he's evil, gay, loves a brain in a jar and if that's not enough, he's French, how much more evil can you get?
Going way back here, but the killer orangutan from Poe's 'Murders In The Rue Morgue'. At least it should get an honorable mention.
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Stephen King and Venture Bros. in one list usually makes me happy, but I'm with everyone else that's not happy about Mojo Jojo being omitted.
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Am I too old or have we forgotton about the apes of C.H.U.M.P from Lancelot Link secret chimp?
@arivalscientist As I stated to another TR reader above, the flying monkeys were not really evil- they cheered when the WW melted along with the guards.
@arivalscientist Dammit, I wrote the whole backstory on the flying monkeys to prove they weren't evil, just stuck in a sucky job for three wishes, but I forgot to log in first.
@EliasAlgorithm @arivalscientist You didn't need to- they were there in the movie cheering with the guards after Dorothy melted the WW.
@EliasAlgorithm @arivalscientist They weren't exactly evil in Wicked, either (The novel, not the musical)
Thank you for including the Monkey Shines monkey. I love that flick.
But, Teej, surely the apes in planet of the apes are the good guys and Chuck Heston is the baddie? No?
Also:
Mallah.
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Gorilla Grodd is going to eat you for forgetting him.
Actually, he'll fuck up your mind first. Then eat you.
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@Krakes Mojo Jojo and Gorilla Grodd are trapped with the Evil Monkey That Lives In My Closet
@Krakes I know, I looked through the whole list waiting for Mojo Jojo, and he never showed up, despite the fact that half of these entries couldn't even be considered evil at all.
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I'm starting to get sick of these "nerd" lists not being done by actual nerds.................get off your wikipedia and do some real research..........
@arivalscientist It's being done on purpose. The lists on Topless Robot exist to get nerds angry.
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Point of order: the gorillas in "Planet of the Apes" did all the grunt work (rounding up feral humans, soldierin'), but it was Dr. Zaius (an orangutan) who wanted to lobotomize and geld the astronauts. Plus, it was a tribunal of orangutans responsible for Charlton Heston's first ever nude scene. In my book, that makes them bad, bad monkeys.
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@RevrendIke3x Gleek was too dumb to be evil. Where's the Evil Monkey from Family Guy? Don't get much eviler than that, it's in his name and everything.
@burt @RevrendIke3x You won't find anything from Family Guy on a TR List....From one who knows ;)
surprised grod did not make the list for he still counts even if he is a gorrilla. other wise nice picks. plus two from steven king . proving how even apes can not be trusted. though king kong surprised to see on the list for he really was not that evil
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Two failures here:
Number 1, there is a distinction between apes and monkeys but you conflate the two.
Number 2, you do not include Mojo Jojo from Powerpuff Girls, which disqualifies you and betrays your ignorance of evil "monkeys".
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I haven't read the article, I just came straight to the comments because I was lonesome. I assume Gorrilla Grodd won. I know Gorillas arent monkeys but c'mon.
As for this venture brothers thing. I live in the UK and Ive never heard of the cartoons talked about on this site and they dont seem to be known here. these adult swim things. I havent seen any of them on TV or on sale on DVD. Or met a fan in real life. I hope I am not missing much?
