I've had a pretty good week this week, all things considered. So I figured I'd treat us all to a little ComicNixonian goodness. When going over the Fan Fic Laureate's oeuvre, I noticed something: although I had run three of ComicNix's Jean Greay stories, I somehow only run one of his "Wolverine and Jean Pain" trilogy.
Again, I had run three ComicsNix Jean Grey stories... but not ComicsNix's Jean Grey trilogy. That seemed very appropriate, given the insanity of ComicsNix's work. But still, I feel like I needed to run all of ComicsNix's Jean stories for posterity. This means I'm actually running a ComicsNix double feature today -- two tales from the master of mayhem, the sultan of snuff, the destroyer of Jean Grey's sexual organs. Let's get right to it with Part I!
The Pain of Jean Gray and Logan:
Wolverine was having a cigarette when Jean went to him. "Wolvie, what are you doing?"
"Can't you see I'm smoking?"
"Yes but, don't you like to walk at the park wiht me a little?"
Wolverine lookd at her slim body and started to imagine a good band with Jean.
"Yeah... Jean on back-up vocals, Colossus on drums, me on the keytar... yeah, that would be a really good band."
"Let's go them.
You heard the man.
"Jean was walking along Wolverine and had an idea. She started to use her mind powers to touch Wolvies member. She started to grope it with her mind hand, feeling the veins and rustic skin, it was soo good as she imagined.
"Rustic skin"? Is Wolverine's dick a farmer or something?
Wolverine knew what she was doing, and started to feel really good. His "claw" started to move upwards as Jean strted to push it in a up and down fashion even more fast and faster.
"The birds are really fine today he Wolvie?"
"Sure, but a thought experiment isn't just that bad to"
Walvorine animals feelings were arising uncomfortably as Jean was getting faster and faster at her movements. No one at the park was noticing the part, because Wolverine's pants were very large.
I'm just going to assume Wolverine is wearing parachute pants and no one can tell me otherwise.
"Dont you wanna go somewhere quieter he Jean?"
"Yes, all these birds and children are annoing us."
BUT THE BIRDS WERE FINE JUST A MINUTE AGO
They went to small shack nerby. It was unocupied and there was even chickens at the fridge!!!!!
That's more exclamation points than I think the fridge chickens warrant, frankly.
Jean immediately put her clothes down and jumped at Wolverine's arms, but he was very hungry.
"Get outta here woman! I need to stuff my belly!"
"We just wandered into a deserted cottage in the middle of a public park, and there's chicken in the fridge! Do you not see what an opportunity this is? Abandoned park chicken is the best chicken there is!"
She felt on the ground as Wolverine let her go from his arms. Jean got very upset and started to choke Wolvie's pulsation member.
"ARGGHH, what are you doing?"
"Dlo you like being mistreated you son of a bitch?!!?!!?"
"You are a shitty woman for sure! Even if you cut it from me, another will grow!"
I know Wolverine's regenerative powers are insane, but I still think he's being a bit too cavalier about the possibility of Jean Grey tearing off his dick with her mind.
"Fuck Logon, I dont want to fuck anymore!"
Jean started to cry as Logan went to the fridge to pick a drumstick.
"Man this is delicious"
"Fuck, fuck. You hate me! I cheated Scott to be with a animal who can't be a gentleman to a lady!!!!!!!!!!"
Jean, you were giving Logan a telekinetic handy in front of children playing in the park about two minutes ago. It's time to re-evaluate your use of the term "lady."
"You cheated because you wanted it. I don't fucking care you bitch."
Wolverine started to put his pants of put his hard member outside of his pants.
"Now you will have it bitch"
"What you're doing, I don't want it anymore!!!"
Logan grabbed Jean's neck, opened her mouth and shove his big boy inside her mouth.
"Yeah Jean I know you like it you whore"
Logan was a furious man, he had manly needs, so he moved Jeans head a lot faster and faster.
But what about the drumstick?!
She started to cry in pain and shame as Logan fucked her throath even more. She tried to use her mental powers but couldn't do it. She was liking being treated like a whoring sut.
A sut? Like a whoring Sport Utility Truck? State Unemployment Tax? The Swinburne University of Technology in Australia? Is that a particularly slutty tech college?
Scott never had wnt to be like this, he was so whinny and bitchy. But now she was having her time.
As Logan went with the fucking, he bited another piece of chicken with his bare teeth.
/wipes sweat from brow in relief
It was so delicious he even forgot Jean was kneeling on the ground pleasuring his animal side.
If there's a piece of chicken that can make me forgot I'm getting a blowjob while I'm getting it... I want a bite of that chicken.
That was a nice piece of chicken for sure, even if it was cold and a bit rotten, 'cause that shack haven't been used for a long time. Who lived there Logan asked for himself. Who knows, but the chair was made with mohagany. Actually, it was a bit strange a shack in the middle of a park.
Goddammit, Wolverine! If you're going to mouthrape your fellow X-Man, you should at least have the decency to pay attention while you're doing it.
As Jean went on, delighting herself with an wondrous man member, Wolverine started to check the house for some clues on what that house may be. Jean noting the movement started to fly accompaning Long with her mounth on his cocklicious forbidden fruit.
If you aren't completely delighted at the idea of Wolverine wandering around a mysterious cabin trying to discover what its deal is while Jean Grey is forced to waddle around between his legs to keep up with him while sucking him off... actually, I have no idea where I was going with that.
His animal senses were detecting something very familiar in that house, so Wolverine followed the smell. He went to the basement door and stopped there.
"Something very funny down here for sure."
Wolverine smashed the door and charged down the stairs.
Well, Jean should get some credit for keeping up.
When he reached the bottom, He saw what he was smelling all the way up there in the house. It was Scott Summers making out with magneto, his greatest enemy.
Of course it was.
"Cyclops you treacherous bastard!!!! Fucking magneto inside my parents house!" wolverine shouted noth believing what he saw.
What? This cabin is Wolverine's parents' place? Then why didn't Wolverine recognize it? Why is it in a park? Who put the chicken in the fridge? Why did Cyclops go there to fuck Magneto? SO MANY QUESTIONS.
"SCOTT!!!!" Jean shouted too, as she pulled her mouth off Wolvie's cock. "You are cheating me you our grezatest enemy!!"
"Admittedly, Jean, your accusation may have carried more weight had you not had to take someone else's dick out of your mouth immediately before uttering it."
"No Jean, that's not wan you're thinking" Scott said as he remove Magnetos old cokc from his butt. "He is mind controlling me Jean, I can't do othewise!"
"Magneto soon used his mental power to gain control of Wolverine's body.
Because brains are essentially big, pink magnets, when you think about it.
"Now you're minde Wolverine, you won't scape this time!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" Shouted the freightening Magneto.
"No, you're not going to bang me!!!"" said Loagan.
"Yes I am" said Magneto.
"Touché," said Logan.
Jean looked stouded a the scene happening before her eys. She saw Magneto's rapping Scott, and now it's is going to be Wolverine, her truest love!!!!
And Magneto's rhymes weren't dope or fresh! The horror!
She coudn't let this happen, so she grapped Magneto dick and started to remove it.
"You, stop!!!!!!" Magneto shouted, releasing Wolverine as he was just starting to pull his magno-member inside the guy. "I will rip you appart!!"
Magneto's dick was being remove and his pain was giant. He was feeling completely emasculated. But he was going to get revenge.
"Noooo, my boobs!!! Wolverine, don't let him tear off my boobs!!!!!" shouted a painful Jean Grey, as her nipples atarted to eject blood,
Because tits are also just soft, fleshy magnets, when you think about it after you've had a stroke.
"Nooo Jean"" screamed Scott, pulling his pants up. He charged in Magneto's direction and jumped on his head" Run Jean, I 'll buy you time!!!!!
Wolverine took advantage of the sittuation. His claws went of his fists. Them, in a fast movement, he punctured five holes thruMagnetos heart with his two hands!!! And started do rip him off, tearring his arms off and them his legs. But Scott was over Magneto and got caught at Wolverin's rage. His eye orbs were pierced and blood was spilled from his skull.
Well, that'll happen. Who's ready for more chicken?
"Noooo, Scott!!! Stop Wolverine, you're killin him!!!!" shouted a hopeless Jean, as she watched his beloved husband being brutaly slaughtered on the hands of his secret lover.
Magneto cried like a baby as his blood were being spilled all over the place. His visceral organs go splattered on the ground under Wolverine's stomps of rage and hate. Cyclops brains turned into a messed up bowl of flesh, pus, and carnage.
I know you're wondering where the pus came from, but Cyclops was actually wearing a pus hat.
All of his face got rotten in a second as Wolverine's chopped him in half. Jean run to his help, trying to recover his lost limbs and put everything toghter.
"SOMEBODY GET ME SOME BACTINE AND ABOUT 50 MILLION BAND-AIDS, STAT!"
"Nooo, Scott, my love!! Don't die!!!! I love you, if you die, I cannot live any longer!!!" cried Jean with Scott's bleeding body on her arms.
"Again, Jean, I feel this declaration would have more impact if Wolverine hadn't bounded down the stairs two minutes with you wrapped around his dick like a tube sock."
"Jean, don't be afraid, I will never let will go on alone. I will always stay besides you my dear love" sighed a finished Scott, as he uttered his last words.
He them died.
I preferred the pre-Special Edition ComicsNix, where Jean stayed silent here. I just thought it was more emotional.
"Wolverine, you killed Scott. I trusted you. I thought you never was going to let me suffer in pain!! You said you loved me! You see what you did?! I hate you!!!!!!!!!!" cried out loud a suffering and disgusted Jean.
"I'm going to kill you you fucking WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I am admittedly confused about my motivation for killing you since we were the ones cheating together and also I just accidentally murdered your husband, but whatever!"
Jean them started to use her mental power in Logan with so much rage, hate in her heart her pupils dilated, her blood pumped faster inside her veins. Her muscles got tense and only furry could be heard inside her mind.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRGHHH" Wolverine screamed as Jean took out his eye balls. "You cannot kill me, I am Invincible!!!!" uttered an out of his mind Wolverine.
Wolverine is out of his mind. Image owns Invincible, you goofball!
His feral instincts completely took over his personality. The old Logan was no more. Only a shell of his former self remained. This beast took his mind, his body and the lives of the ones he loved. Jean only had one option.
"WOLVERINE, I'll KILL YOU!!!!! You're gonna pay for all the misery you made me went thru!!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOARRGGGHHh.............!!!" shouted Wolverine as his vocal chords got completely destroyed by Jean incredible power. He couldn't scream anymore. He only could look his arms being teared apart, his bones being pulled thru his own skin. Wolverine turned in a amorphous mass of blood, skin, meat and adamantium.
"Now Wolverine, DIE!!!!!" screamed Jean as she dealled the final blow on Wolverine, burning him alive. Somehow, Wolverine's internal beast let go his control over his body, and Logan could control t again. But it was late, the damage has been done. He could only look at Jean's eye. A tear started to flow from his eyes.
Jean noticed what happened. But she knew too it was too late. Tha coudln't be reversed.
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?" cried Jean with so much pain and hurt inside her head and her body. She was suffering so much no one could understand her feelings.
Women! They can never make up their minds! First they want to brutally murder you with their psychic powers, and once you're a pile of bloody goo, then they don't want to brutally murder you with their psychic powers! Am I right, fellas?
All of it was over. His two lovers were sent into the oblivion, and there was nothing left. Nothing left...
...except the chicken.
Now as I said earlier, ComicsNix has declared this part of his "Wolverine and Jean Pain" trilogy. You've completed Part I; I actually ran Part II way back in 2010, better known as "Day or reckoning: The Final Days of Jean and Logan." Seeing as Wolverine died at the end of Part I and both Wolverine and Jean Grey died at the end of Part II (Wolverine having torn Jean apart at the vagina and then having eaten the pieces) it is probably not 100% necessary for you to read Part II before continuing to Part III. Which happens to be this.
Tears: The Wolverine and Jean Last Story
Not to be confused with their "Final Days."
Wolverine is on a mission, he must destroy John Salamander, a new villain.
I feel like ComicsNix is making things unnecessarily difficult for himself by creating a bad guy with the intrinsically hard-to-spell name of Salamander.
Salamander have the salamander power, where he can jump very high and is sneaky like a salamander.
BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE TWO PRIMARY TRAITS SALAMANDERS ARE KNOWN TO HAVE AND THERE AREN'T ANY OTHERS.
His mask looks like a salamander. But this mission isn't goingh to be easy.
Even though his mask looks like a salamander? Pish posh!
Jean Gray was captured by Salamnder and is being treat with a knife on her neck. If wolverine moves on more foot, she'll be dead.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA, you will not save you lady mister Wolverine!!! She will die!!!!!" laughed the masked slalamander.
"Let her go Salamander, you will not escape today!!!!"
"Only if you bring me one million dollars!!!"
"I don't have this much money!!!!" "So she will die!!!!!"
"DO YOU TAKE CHECKS?!!!!"
"NO! BUT I WILL TAKE A MONEY ORDER!!!!"
"I CAN ONLY WITHDRAW $1,000 IN CASH VIA ATM PER DAY!!!"
"SO GO TO THE BANK!"""
"THE BANKS ARE CLOSED! IT'S SATURDAY!!!!"
"CAN WE DISCUSS SOME SORT OF PAYMENT PLAN?!!!!!"
"WHAT'S YOUR CREDIT SCORE?!!!!!!!"
I could do this for days, you know.
Salamander them put his hand on Jean's boobs and try to grope them. Wolverine is not pleased.
"AH, let go my boobs!!"
"HEHEHEHEHEH, you boobs are good!!!"
Well, at least Mr. Salamander knows how to treat a lady.
Jean was feeling the cold hand of sasalamander. It stinks fish, because he don't take baths.
Because... salamanders... smell like fish? Does ComicsNix actually know what a salamander is?
Wolverine them preapared an attack on Salamander. He put his claw of his hands when they were behind his back, and wated.
"AHHH, good boobs, very good!!!"
You know, I wasn't really enjoying Salamander as a villain, but his love of boobs has humanized the character for me. I may not approve of his goals, but I have to sympathize -- empathize, even -- with his love of tits.
"Let your hands of me!!"
The Salamander hand them went down on Jean pussy, and stated to grope her there. She was naked, because Salamander liked naked ladies.
Give it two years and this dude will be an anti-hero on X-Factor, I guarantee.
So, he sticked his middle finger and put it in her baby hole. She got very angry:
As one might.
"You bastard. You have AIDS!!!!"
It's kind of impressive that Salamander is fingerblasting Jean against her will, and yet she still seems like the asshole for assuming he has AIDS.
"No!!! I have syphilis, and it's my finger, it's clean!!"
"I washed all the syphilis off it yesterday!"
Wolverine was very angry, waiting the moment he could jump on salamander's neck. His dick was hard, because Jean was very naked. He was dripping bit, but Jean couldn't see it, her eyes were blindfolded.
Salamander started to rub his finger on Jean clit, making circular movements, clockwise, and counterclock wise, three time each, in the span of ten seconds. Jean was very excitted and started to get wet. Salaander like.
"HA!!! Wolverine, your girlfriend loves me!!"
"No Wolvie, I love you!!!"
Meanwhile, Cyclops is alone in the X-Mansion, wacking it to a Victoria's Secret commercial.
Wolverine found that strange, She loves him? How, why?? He get amd at Jean:
"What is he saiyng Jean??!!"
"She is flowing on my finger, my nails are full of her juice!!"
"No Jean, you can't!!! You never got wet with me"
I think we've discovered the real issue here.
"Soory Wolverine, he is a gentlemen, you were never this gentle with my pssy..."
Mr. Salamander: He'll fingerbang you like a gentleman should.
Wolverine eyes got red, like heell and his dick got bigger, because he has bbeen betrayed.
That's not... you know, whatever. Betrayal gets Wolverine off. Sure, whatever. I've read stupider X-Men comics.
Salamander them put his other hand finger on Jean's pop hole.
Which is where the poptarts come from!
She groaned. But she had been tied for very long, Three days, she couldn't hold it.
"What is this? IT'S SHIIIIIIT!!!!! JEAN GRAY, YOU POOPED ON MY HAND!!!!!" cried in disgust Salamander.
Well, it's not destroying his mind with your psychic powers or dehabilitating him with your telekinesis, but it did get the job done, I suppose.
His hand was full of rotten shit, because it was there for three days. There were worms all over Jean's ass, and it was stinking more than Salamander fetid fish skin.
"I never saw the worms all over her ass, even when I was performing cunnilingus on her!" cried Salamander. "Oh, curse my love of boobs and naked ladies!"
Wolverine knew it was his oment to sttack. He charged at Salamander's direction with all of his fury and claws errect and drilled Salamander's skull with his claw in one blow. Salamander's healmet got hrowed away five feet from his head. Oh, what's this, no...Jean cried:
Salamander secret identity wa s Scott Sumers, the Cyclops! He went mad when he discoved Jean was cheating him with Wolverine. So he got a new suit to hid his face and turned in another person. Jean went to his beheaded body.
In retrospect, Jean and Logan should have realized something was up when they remembered salamanders don't generally wear ruby-quartz glasses.
"Ohh Scott...you you had to die...."
"You said you loved me Jean, now you love him, YOU BITCH!!!"
Wolverine's rage got bigger, so big his dick teared his pants and went out, big, red, and angry!!
Oh, so this is where Loeb got the idea for Red Hulk.
He picked Jean's mouth and put on his dick, making very fast movements. He was going so fast and strong Jean's teeth got torn from her bloody gum. The blood flowed all over from her mouth to her belly and them to her vagina. She felt it, because the blood was contaminated, because Slamander infected her with poison. The vagina began to burn.
"!!!" cried Jean as her clitoris started to peel from her vaagina.
The vagina went red, the purple, the black, and dell from her body. It started to stink dead tuna.
"ARGH!! You're stinking like a corpse you bitch!!" shouted Wolverine. But he liked, and put his hands there. Jean inner organs felt thought the putrid hole. The organs were very bad in shape, blood was leaking from them, and it was black.
Jean them started to defecate, because she lose her bowel got very mad with Wolveruine raping her with his claws.
So I guess you might say Jean...
/puts on sunglasses
...just got Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
She them used her power.
Really? Now she uses her powers? After her internal organs are at her feet and she's shit herself twice?
"AAHHH, MY DICK!!!" Jean was ripping Wolverine's penis from his body. His skin got very bad and started to drip a lot of blood. She them exploded Wolverine's eyes, and a lot of blood was splashed throughout the room.
Jean the put her fingers inside the now void Wolverin'es eye sockets. Her nails were very big, so they punctured Wolverine's brain, causing brain damage. Wolverine started to tremble and shake very wildly. His claw got everywhere, and started to cut all of Jean's flesh. She them got cut in half, and Wolverin fell down.
After two hours, Wolverine got healed, and the brain damaged got undone. But the worst hasn't been recovered. His dick hadn't grow. Jean affected his brain in the dick control area with her power, so his dick you never grow anymore.
FFF BAND NAME #627: Dick Control Area
Wolverine got in pain and started to cry. There is nothing that can be done...
Truly, there is nothing. Except read the other two Jean Grey ComicsNix stories that are not part of the "Logan and Jean Pain" trilogy. And drink. A lot. Nothing to be done but those two things.