Hi folks. I'm pleased to announce -- finally, right? -- Topless Robot has a new editor. His name is Luke Y. Thompson and he's got some serious nerd bona fides. He doesn't start til later next week, but he's penned a little note introducing himself. I'm sure he'll jump in the comments if you've got any questions.
But first I wanted to extend a gigantic thanks to Chris Cummins for helping keep the nerd news and self-loathing coming during the transition. As you all know, he's done an awesome job keeping us abreast of Lawrence Kasdan's return to Star Wars and Tron 3's sudden surge in momentum, among other news and wild speculations.
And now, a word from the new Topless Robot editor:
'Tis the season for jolly overweight men to come to town bearing gifts, and while I'm only technically tipping the scales, I come before you as a new editor with an offering that proves...well, I'm not sure what it proves. But it's a teddy bear singing about "acute love deficiency" in Hindi.
Now that you've seen that, or been so creeped out by the still that you dare not...Hi. I'm Luke, sometimes known as LYT. You might have seen some of my film criticking somewhere, or thought you saw me in a low-budget DVD one time. Have we met? I'll be taking care of this place, and look forward to us spending online time together as I attempt to evolve into Your Somewhat-Fearless Leader. Though I'm not Rob, I am the guy who scored a King Grayskull figure for Rob a few Comic-Cons ago, which should tell you the wavelength I'm coming from; I will agitate for a good He-Man movie every bit as strongly. In fact (name-drop alert) I recently met Dolph Lundgren and told him he should play He-Man's dad (yes, I know his name's Randor, but I wasn't sure if Dolph did).
I look forward to our journey boldly going into nerdspace, and hope we encounter as few dangerous anomalies as possible. It's going to be a wild ride, and I hope and intend to amuse at least as frequently as I annoy. I swear by my autographed Sam J. Jones 8 by 10 that I am one of you, and may my talking 18" Captain Spaulding figure torment me on eternal sound-chip loop if I'm lying. Some aspects of the site will invariably change over time, but the things we love/obsess about are the same. Even the things that contradict the other things. Plus I love robots and being shirtless, so really it feels like a perfect match.
Please bear with me as I find my (furry) feet; I intend to bring the site out of "power-saving mode" in full next week (still have figures to pack, features to learn, fools to phaser...that kind of stuff) and then it's full speed ahead, with Max Payne wishes and Shatner'd dreams.
More links from around the web!
351 comments
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...I only lasted about 30 seconds with the video, but Luke, your entrance to TopBot was very graceful.
And yes I too am entering the Topless Robot world.
After weeks of looking over my roommate's shoulder, chiming in on his witty posts, I decided it was high time to join the elite.
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just want to say welcome Luke . look forward to seeing your vision for topless robot unfold.. plus any one who dares to aquire a figures like king greyskull for others is truley one of us here
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Couldn't find a review for Abraxas' Ice Cream Parlour & Cramming Emporium.
http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/if-fictional-locations-got-reviewed-yelp/
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Great nerd find, I really want to give this chick kudos. I have always wanted some sort of merchandise from the NES game Kickle Cubicle, but it was never successful enough to entice any manufacturer to make stuff. However, I found this little online store that sells customs crochets of nerdstuff, and I now have a one of a kind Wizard King, the final boss in Kickle! The best part was she had already made it and was advertising it, so you know she is a fan of cool stuff and totally worthy of your eyes for a second, maybe even a custom order!
http://knottynerdsery.storenvy.com/collections/36073-all-products
@BenMurphy @Regular_Stormy I know! I asked her how much for the whole cast of Kickle but I havent heard back. She does custom orders, I wonder if Gaiden is something she would do. I would love a Ryu/Jaquio pair.
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Introducing Topless Robot LYT
All the flavor of Original Recipe Topless Robot but with 1/3 the calories!
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Over at the Pan Pacific Defense Against the Kaiju Arts site they have the big versions of the five blueprints out - or you can get a reduced lineup picture suitable for wallpaper by clicking my icon and going to my MVN photos.
http://www.panpacificdefense.com/
Oh and in three days or so something happens over there
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What countries have the stupidest and most gullible citizens? Apparently not the USAlund. I know, I was shocked. In the face of the impending Mayan apocalypse citizens of China and Russia are stocking up on candles because... who knows, maybe they already ran out of wooden dowels? I'm still shocked that USAlunders aren't leading the panicked charge to buy candles.
Or perhaps I spoke too soon as top USAlund officials attended an important five day training event at the Paradise Point Resort & Spa on an island off of San Diego where they watched zombies being fought off by commandos... for an hour, which completely justified the week long all expenses paid on the job vacation because they learned that no matter how insanely you fritter away public funds most people still won't give a crap.
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@arivalscientist that movie had no Bubo The Original Mechanical Owl... whoot knew how to make an entrance
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@Gallen_Dugall @arivalscientist Technically both new Titans movies had Bubo - just not for more than a second or two apiece. To their detriment.
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Ooh ooh ooh
Does it have better grammar skills than Rob? Because... that would be something for this site, you know!
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1) We fear change.
2) You're not Chris.
3) I will try my hardest not to hold either or those things against you. I'm glad that someone is taking over, and I sincerely hope TR gets back on track.
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Good to see that TR has somebody at the helm again, even if it's not our beloved fat rumpot Rob! Still, you'll have to prove your mettle to us, LYT; don't let us down. But I'm fine with TR having a new editor as long as it means you'll eventually bring back the contests, bring back FFF, and most importantly; BRING BACK THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6Mwxq2auyU
@madmiker5d4 If I were Rob I would hang on to FFF as my intellectual property despite the current employer not wanting to run with it, for possible use down the line. But I do promise to look into it.
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I will just call you "Not Rob" during your probationary period. You will earn your stripes only after marathon viewing, then writing up, reviews for the Uwe Boll Criterion collection for your hazing. Then you shall have proper ire.
Welcome to TR, it's good to see the ship has a captain again.
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Yay, this is great news! Look forward to your posts, Luke! And may the force be with you! ^^
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I am happy we have a new editor here at TR, Luke. Welcome aboard. You have big shoes to fill.
Now open the geek news cornucopia! What DVDs must I buy this week? Who will play Hell Cat in the Life Time network movie? Which video-games are more likely to disconnect me from reality? What is Christian Cox's next sci-fi/vampire movie? 8 BILLION SOULS CRY OUT FOR KNOWLEDGE!!!
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okay - been pulling 12 hour days all week and I'm working this weekend so I may be repeating what others have said.
First - it's sucks that it's not the Captain... or Chris
Second - I told you so about Chris - free milk and a cow my friends - people are ungrateful jerks
Third - I am on a crap load of pain killers and everything still hurts
Forth - it will it be nice to see the site active again
Fifth - I'm calling the new guy Lucky - because when I googled him that's what google wanted to change his name to.
Sixth - I'm really unsure about having an actor/film-critic from LA run this site. I don't think the nerd news and humor will be the problem so much as the self loathing. Okay, possibly the humor too.
anyway, whatever
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@Gallen_Dugall If you've seen my actual acting resume such as it is, you can probably identify several possible causes of self-loathing.
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@LYT @Gallen_Dugall I feel better this morning - mostly it was the physical pain talking, however you should know that a bitching and complaining Topless Roboteer is a perfectly normal Topless Roboteer and not something to worry about.
This still feels very much like moving from the Joel to the Mike eras of MST3K.
Best of luck to you.
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Apparently, the TARDIS is getting a redesign in the new episode. http://who-natic.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/new-images-from-snowmen-and-sneak-peak.html
@Timely-Tardis-Lego The first picture I see the Tardis in the background. I think it's just a room with a Gallifreyan device in it. (but I could be wrong)
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@Timely-Tardis-Lego Does this mean they'll cop out a couple episodes and have adventures in the TARDIS?
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@Timely-Tardis-Lego Unless I'm looking at the wrong thing it just looks beat up
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@Timely-Tardis-Lego I remember them saying something about possibly seeing more of the TARDIS than we have before. Seems like that's what we're looking at there. OR the last picture is of something else entirely that just happens to have Gallifreyan all over it.
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@EliasAlgorithm @Timely-Tardis-Lego I think that's actually from the restroom. Gallifreyan urinals are incredibly complicated.
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Hey short a couple of figures of your Star Wars collection. This is your chance to get them ... and maybe a whole bunch more you didn't know about.
Somebody is selling his collection on Ebay.
http://www.geekologie.com/2012/12/massive-1950-star-wars-action-figure-col.php
Last I checked the last bid was $8988.00 US dollars.
By Santa's Beard! I didn't even know there were that many figures. Or that you can have $8988.00 in the same place.
Thanks to Geekologie.com and Ebay.
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:) I think we'll be in good hands here. Welcome, LYT, to the dark, beautiful abyss that is Topless Robot. I'm sure you'll do fine!
...and if you ever feel brave enough to attempt your own version of FFF, well, I won't say no to that...
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Finally! I re-started reading Gawker sites with Rob's move... and they're awful. Terrible format, and the general tone of everything seems like a binary between far too bitter and angry because that's the political thing to do and ultra PC to the point that I worry that saying anything remotely unencouraging to some hypothetical person is all it'll take for them to sic the thought police on me.
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@vermilion001.lr I...you put down what I thought exactly, and I'm glad. I thought it was just me being bitchy and I'm so happy to find out otherwise. You are my new hero.
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Somebody here gave me the clue to finding Rob's stuff without wading through the rest of the crap. Follow this url: http://io9.com/people/bricken/
Then click on the "Posts" button.
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@vermilion001.lr I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks the format is awful. Seriously, what the hell is up with the Gawker sites layouts? They're REALLY hard to navigate!!
Also, Rob did a Tron 3 article over there, and there wasn't even a token mention of him furiously masturbating in joy over the news that Tron 3 is going to be a thing. D: It just wasn't the same.
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@realaregula @vermilion001.lr Right, so he has to compromise his humorous writing style, which putatively was the reason why he got hired. I didn't see the article though because I wasn't sure which of the three scrolls on the site actually had the new articles and somehow ended up reading the one presented with the most fanfare, which turned out to be a week old.
@Regular_Stormy Thank you!! I was trying to see if that was an option, very relieved. Ugh. What a sanctimonious website. If those who jack off to pedophilic necrophilic rape torture snuff scat set to famous intellectual properties aren't fair game over on io9, who IS fair game. No one, apparently. What a joke.
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@vermilion001.lr I knew a totally awesome DJ that took a gig at XM when it first started. He was there less than a year, and was fired for being too creative!
TOO CREATIVE!!
Same thing here! Poor Rob.
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@realaregula @vermilion001.lr Here, its only Rob's stuff, and you can set it to blog format.
http://io9.com/people/bricken/posts/
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Here, its only robs articles, set to blog format. The only way to make it tolerable.
http://io9.com/people/bricken/posts/
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@vermilion001.lr @realaregula See, the only way I've been able to keep track of Rob at all over there is by searching for his name and hoping to god I get lucky. Here's the article though: http://io9.com/5966247/tron-3-is-officially-online-again
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@vermilion001.lr That's what i like about this place. People are free to be who they want to be and say what they want because we all think alike and are in on the self loathing. This is why FFF died at io9 because people didn't get that it was a joke.
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@Canadian.Scott Did they really kill FFF over there? The cretins... Rob has ha some interesting articles but its barely enough to make me skim it daily. Couple that with the humorless users (who must also be wizards apparently, since I still can't figure out how to sign up and comment or reply from my mobile- must need magic) and I don't see myself frequenting very often at all. I was so disheartened to see how literally most of the commenters took the first (and apparently only) FFF. A great many people missing the entirety of a joke seems to sum that site up though.
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@Kozmik_Pariah @Canadian.Scott @JesseDeath @TheConjurerOfCheapTricks that means it's up to you to fix it
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@Canadian.Scott @JesseDeath @TheConjurerOfCheapTricks
I broke that story thank you very much :P
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@Canadian.Scott @JesseDeath @TheConjurerOfCheapTricks That is so weak. That statement might as well read, "We here at io9 seek to protect and nurture your feelings as you write your Pokemon scat rape fiction. We believe you're a special flower and want you to blossom in your creativity." I should have figured they kill it. io9 isn't really "troll" material.
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@Canadian.Scott @JesseDeath @TheConjurerOfCheapTricks
On the one hand, fuck sake.
On the other hand, it was deeply weird seeing FFF over there. It didn't really fit the tone of IO9. And who knows, maybe Rob will be able to do a guest FFF on here every now and then.
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@jonap @vermilion001.lr @JesseDeath i09 needs to be fucked with a giant wooden dowel - that'll learn 'em
@JesseDeath Yep. Stick in the muds. Wait, that was a plot of one of them over here right?
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@Sleverin @jonap @vermilion001.lr @JesseDeath
This is how I feel whenever I look at their conversations. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdbnssEZ_Xk
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@jonap @vermilion001.lr @JesseDeath Oh yeah,like i said les than a minute ago, bunch of kittens man. Wahhhh he uses language, wahhh he uses sarcasm, WHY ISN'T HE PART OF THE LIBERAL ENLIGHTENED ELITE LIKE US. WE DON'T TOLERATE MAKING FUN OF FAN FICTION BUT FUCK THIS NEW GUY AND HIS ODD DICTION. God, I'm so close to just trolling that comment section.
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@vermilion001.lr @JesseDeath The other day I checked i09 and they don´t seem too happy about Rob´s liberal use of the word ´Fuck´ either.
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@vermilion001.lr @JesseDeath Yeah it's pretty shit on how they handled the whole thing. They were worried about their pussy readership being pussies so they became even bigger pussies to out puss the pussies in the most massive pussfest ever. Seriously though, what a load of crap. I like Rob's posts outside of FFF but I really miss it as a sort of good ol' time get together. It's like a great bar I go to every week and we all throw beer at the shitty band, it needs to be done man, it needs to be done.
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@vermilion001.lr @JesseDeath And what up with that?
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/a0TDE.gif[/IMG]
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@JesseDeath Yep. I'm not sure if the conversation was longer or in some place I didn't see, but it boils down to people taking offense that Rob had the audacity to make fun of a bad fanfiction, which obviously meant he was making fun of whatever kink was in the fan-fiction, which obviously meant he was electro-bullying people with his euro-hetero-vannilocentric mindset. So since he wasn't directing the bile towards evil corporations of evil, it had to be put down. Ironically, a bit later Rob posted something that was utterly and completely supportive of a fanfilm and they jumped on him for supporting some shitty fanfilm.
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@JesseDeath Yeah they did kill it. @TheConjurerOfCheapTricks linked it earlier but check this out.
http://io9.com/5965211/why-we-decided-to-stop-publishing-fan-fiction-friday
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@Canadian.Scott @vermilion001.lr In the immortal words of 10glfan59:
i09 is never the answer just say no.
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@jonap @Canadian.Scott @vermilion001.lr OMG stop site shaming! stop site shaming!
