When the U.S. military officially began procedures to allow women to serve in combat roles this week, there was a surprising lack of controversy. While the move didn't please everybody, when a guy like John McCain who defines himself primarily by military service and advocacy is cool with a shake-up like that, there won't be much argument (an impromptu poll on my own Facebook page revealed unanimous support for the measure from friends all across the political spectrum).
I have a theory as to why, and it's this: in our popular entertainment, we have become 100% used to the idea of women kicking ass, taking names and blowing shit up. Many of us even prefer it nowadays - compare the grosses of, let's say, The Last Stand to those of any generic Underworld sequel in which the plot's exactly the same as the last. Look at the rise of The Hunger Games, and the expanded role for Eowyn in the Lord of the Rings movies. Women who fight on fantasy battlefields may have begun as wish fulfillment, but they're becoming a reality.
In honor of all those double-X chromosomed combatants who will be risking their lives in firefights from here on out, I've decided to take a look back at the ten ladies we'd most love to let loose on any and all military opponents. The women who taught us all that gender is no barrier to a beatdown. For the purposes of this list, I'm confining it to women who would work on the contemporary battlefield, so no barbarian beauties (sorry, Red Sonja) or stake slingers (Buffy's a vampire slayer, but maybe not so much a terrorist fighter). These listed enlistees from across the pop-culture spectrum need to haul and use heavy weaponry when it's needed.
10. Amanda.
Shawnee Smith's Saw siren dived into clawed through a pit of infected needles to grab a vital clue key, cut open a random stranger's belly to escape a reverse bear trap, and willingly breathed in poisonous fumes to go undercover into a larger death-game. Her reluctance to spare a life was ultimately her downfall, but her loyalty and dedication to duty would make her an excellent footsoldier.
9. Motoko Kusanagi.
Ghost in the Shell's heroine has a fully cybernetic body with a fully human soul. Maybe this is a bit of a cheat, since cyborgs kinda rule out that whole strength difference issue that used to be the principal objection here, but her ability to wield weapons even when her clothes are falling off is impressive. And if she can teach us how to build those sentient Tachikoma tanks, that's a bigger bonus.
8. Alice.
Jill Valentine may be more popular among true Resident Evil fans, but the film-created heroine of the never-ending franchise would be a better military ally, not just because of her ability to use and abuse sacrificial clones of herself, but also because she randomly attains psychic abilities and super powers whenever the story requires it, a trait that would come in real handy while fighting wars with no obvious end in site. The only downside is that all her allies tend to get killed, so you'll want to send her on solo missions.
7. Lara Croft.
Take Indiana Jones, switch genders, add guns, ignore nuked fridge and you've got the makings of a formidable foe. Add Angelina Jolie as her live-action alter ego and you also have someone who can travel the world while raising a bazillion kids and put up with Brad Pitt - plus in Salt, she showed us just how easy it would be for her to walk straight into the White House and single-handedly start a nuclear war.
6. The Baroness.
The G.I. Joe team has been integrated since the '80s, but none of the token females in the line ever made quite as much of an impression as the one whose allegiance lies with their primary foe. While we'd suggest an elastic strap on the back of those glasses so they don't fall off in the heat of a firefight - and while we're at it, a combat helmet as well - the Baroness' battle armor and ability to manipulate international arms dealers gives her a kung-fu grip on any combat position she wants.
Sarah Connor anyday. Her transformation from scared to hardened woman from T1 to T2 was excellent. She's the reason I love women who can handle themselves. I don't consider Angelie Jolie to be Lara Croft in my universe. Lara Croft will always be that woman with the big lips and pointy polygons from the first Tomb Raider game before I got the 3Dfx card for my computer 1997. Tomb Raider Legend was pretty good. Use either of those pictures instead of Angelina Jolie.
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You lost me as She-Spawn and Samus. Samus isn't skilled or original; She's Iron Man with tits. And as for She-Spawn-- Well, anything by Todd McFarlane is evil.
And no, I wouldn't elect Buffy or any of the damned forgettable Firefly crew, either. I'd pick Leia over any of those losers any day. Leia was the only person in Episode IV who could shoot worth a damn.
I see others elected Ace, and I agree. Ace was awesome. She carries explosives for fun.
How about Dizzy from the movie version of Starship Troopers? She can take on bugs. That's tough. She's also easy on the eyes.
I'd go for Valeria from Conan, too. You want a sword-swinging warrior woman on your side. Trust me.
Oh, yes, and I definitely would prefer to have Evy O'Connell (The Mummy) on my side. She's not just a great fighter and marksman! She's also brilliant and well-educated. And definitely hot. Very, very hot.
But hey, if we're going to pick comic book characters like She-Spawn, then why not just say I want She-Hulk, Red She-Hulk, Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, and Valkyrie on my team? That's a good team.
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Where is Zoë Alleyne Washburne? Don't get me wrong Connor and Ripley are badass chicks but, they got the raw deal of 'why me'. Zoe was career military, had attained the rank of Corporal, and fought along side Mal in the Unification War. You wrote this article because now women can serve on the front lines with the men and you don't use Zoe as a prime example of a kickass 'warrior women' (as Wash has called her). =/
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I always love these lists, and understand how ridiculously difficult it must be to keep everyone happy with the selections. However, I must protest anything that has anything to do with the Saw film franchise.
There is nothing redeeming about these movies and no sci-fi or fantasy elements worthy of my nerd interests. This is a personal issue that I have with these films, and I am aware of that fact, so to each their own in the end.
But yeah, I really don’t like Saw.
Other than that, Sarah Conner ROCKS! Definitely worthy of the number one slot.
The most glaring omission from this list is the one and only Modesty Blaise, whose legendary background as the tougher-than-leather leader of an international crime syndicate and highly-skilled special-ops-level combatant should have earned her the top spot. She'd have wiped the floor with most fictional male badasses one can name, and she would have wiped the floor with every woman on this list with little effort. (Ignore the horrible 1966 movie that gets her character totally wrong and read the newspaper strips and excellent series of novels to see what I'm talking about.) Leela from Doctor Who is also shockingly absent. Any woman who "would have loved Agincourt" should absolutely be included here.
It might be hard to get her to follow orders. I don’t know if I would want that woman watching my six in a fire fight anyway as she is probably more likely to use me as a human shield and discard me when I’m done and riddled with holes.
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No Seras Victoria or Integra Hellsing? Seras Victoria's a one woman land war, and Sir Integra is no slouch as a general.
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No Ace? The girl who took on a dalek. . . with a supercharged baseball bat. . . and won?
This list is fail.
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Additonally, she's a crackshot with a slingshot, led altverse knights into battle whilst wielding Excalibur, & makes her own explosives called Nitro-9. She's got a bit of Cheetah People in her too.
From what I read in production notes, Ace also got a little bit of Sabalom Glitz in her, as well.
No, seriously... They intended to imply that Ace lost her virginity to Sabalom Glitz. Ewww..!
nice list. was going to be surprised if not only sarah conor did not make the cut but also ripley for any one who was willing to go toe to toe with the aliens and also use of all things a pay loader to take out the big one is worth having on their team. though surprised wonder woman did not make the cut for she is a warrior. the baroness one would be spending more time having to spy on her making sure she is not running off to tell the enemy every thing.
I always feel obligated to say this to any list/article that brings up nudity in GitS, so bare with me on this:
The original comic of GitS was amazing, in which Shirow explored different aspects of the human condition in an age of cybernetics being commonplace with each chapter focusing on one aspect or another. This, of course, included sexuality. The scenes in which sexuality is explored are so, shall we say, detailed that Shirow developed something of a reputation for being one part Isaac Asimov, one part Hugh Hefner. Still, they added to the series in such a way that despite how graphic they were, they were still important parts of the plot.
When the anime adaptations began, first with the films, that sexual aspect was moved from its place as just-another-support-structure in order to become look-she-has-boobs. It is almost comical, actually, especially the film makers decision to have the thermo-optic camouflage device that Major Katsuragi uses be built into her body, as opposed to her suit, turning her into a walking nude-scene for about half of the movie (this was in the same age of Ninja Scrolls though, so yeah). The TV series, thankfully, retconed that craziness, but still made her combat suit fairly revealing.
My point in all of this is that I always feel this strong, nerdy tug at the back of my mind anytime someone mentions the revealing clothes in the GitS series' with out knowing the progression. It is a feeling akin to what a Spiderman fan experience when someone, say, forgets to hyphenate.
A small correction: "they were still important to the plot" should read "they were still important to the central theme." Even I wouldn't say that a hallucinatory, cyber-drug induced, digital lesbian foursome is really plot relevant.
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@KaobelSorry, but in the movie the Major's therm-optic camouflage was a suit not built in. This is evidenced by the seam line around her neck, the veil she wears fighting the hacked criminal, and the visible tearing (shortly before the tearing of her "flesh") and remaining scraps of the suit in the final fight.
Ignoring that I have to say the accusation that Oshii only included nudity for the sake of nudity is pretty laughable. Though I appreciate the self correction, since the only thing more laughable would be claiming Shirow included nudity purely for story.
@Kaobel @scarfdemon So. It's still quite laughable to suggest that Oshii only included it for titillation. Oshii's insistence on everything in his movies meaning something is well known. Yes he really can be that pretentious.
Plus the movies depiction was far more realistic. (Both in universe and the current state of "invisibility" technology.) The translucent skin tight suit worn by the Major affording a higher degree of both maneuverability and camouflage. Compare to the coat worn by her opponent.
What's personally more interesting is the fact that the margins of Shirow's work is usually filled with notes on technological details, but the therm-optics's go by with nary a mention.
And I just supplied further proof that I have no life, time to do something else.
@Kaobel Something I should have included in my original comment (but didn't because I'm an idiot who didn't think of it). There really isn't a progression in regard to her state of dress. With the noted exception of the film, (where her casual dress is much more conservative) most version depicts Motoko's style in generally the same way.
Really the only statement I would make against complaints about Motoko's clothing (or lack of) in regards to her combat ability is that, that is her casual dress and her actual combat gear is much more inline with modern S.W.A.T. equipment.
Well I've obviously spent to much time thinking about this and clearly have no life. Moving on.
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@Kaobel The nudity aspect was not shifted to pure spectacle. From her birthing process to the diving scene with Batou to her eventual merger to 2501 Motoko's nudity shows her lack of sexuality/humanity. I do think the thermoptic camouflage rendering her naked was gratuitous, though. They got their point across in the other scenes.
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@Kaobel @MasterFlinter I agree completely about the manga but the movie is a different animal.
@MasterFlinter @Kaobel While you have a point, I would argue that, in the manga at least, Katsuragi had a very well developed sexuality. She even had a long term and committed, if some what open, relationship. He only showed up once or twice to, as far as I can recall (been years since I last read it), but her and her boyfriend seemed to have a completely healthy relationship.
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I can't speak for the rest of you but if I'm gonna go into battle I'm taking a River Tam with me.
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Great list. Given your caveats, I can see how plenty of super ladies didn't pass muster. But I agree with others that Vasquez and Aeryn Sun are big omissions, both with expert military training and totally capable under fire. Easily leaving the Saw girl in the dust.
Kudos on Motoko, though. One of the all-time great ass-kicking women.
Also, if there's a spec ops unit in the offing, I'd offer up Hanna. Insert her in virtually any occupied area around the world and watch the bodies hit the floor.
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I hate to say it, but...if this was a draft, I don't think Sarah Connor would pass the psych exam. There's a difference between a "warrior" and a "soldier"—and an obsessive, shell-shocked berserker is closer to a weapon than either.
(I'd still rate her higher than Worf, though, for what it's worth.)
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She-Spawn II came out of nowhere. While I suppose it's a legal entry, I don't think something with no actual story to them should count. There should be some actual weight and a more compelling reason for a character to be on this list than just "It's toy looks cool." Just something to think about, and what I'd do if I wrote it. Agreed on the rest.
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@piccolojr8 I have a penchant for enjoying the occasional list entry that comes out of nowhere. They amuse me. If it were all entries you expected, would it be as fun to read or argue about?
The first She-Spawn was cooler. Not only were her colours reversed, the dragon skull on her shoulder spit giant bone missiles out of its mouth.
For Spawn girls with actual personality, there's Angela the warrior angel or Jessica Priest the assassin.
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sydney bristow shoulda at least knocked #10 of the list. Reasoning/logic/strategy off the charts. Excellent teammate or solo. Experience in covert and hostile engagements. Hand to hand expert + proficient/expert in most modern weaponry. Should beat loyalty and willingness to kill an innocent when thought of in the military/combat scenario of the intro
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I'd switch Ripley and Sarah's places on here, but that's just me. And the fact that Aliens is a better film than Terminator 2.
Also, women haven't been in combat until now? Really? *looks on Wikipedia* Huh. Shows me for getting my info from passing glances at women in uniform in Iron Man.
Oh, also: "if she can handle a powered exoskeleton, modern military hardware should give the girl a problem."
I know TR hasn't been known for flawless proofreading, but this is like forgetting the comma in "Let's eat, Grandpa."
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Buffy Summers would be an outstanding soldier because of her superhuman physical prowess & aptitude with various weapons.
Anyone who refers to the Alien queen as a MILF ( a Mother I’d Like to F***) frightens me just a little.
:o
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@DrAbraxas @LYT she could easily have survived on space krill until she found another planet
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Good list. Motoko is my personal favorite.
Now that that's been said...TO THE COMPLAINING!!!
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@zombies8myballs @Timely-Tardis-Lego River Song IS the real Shepard. GAMECEPTION!
@Umbra_di_Angelo I wouldn't get here. She's to haunted by the ghosts of her past...
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@Umbra_di_Angelo What? Huh? She's cool but Fem-Shep walks all over her and everyone else on this list for that matter.
Nerd news, humor and self-loathing. Edited by Luke Y. Thompson
