Now that 2012 has staggered to a close, we, along with everybody else on the Internet and in life, can look back on the year's events with a bit of insight, that insight being: we freak out really easily. Seriously, I know it's generally not difficult to cause an uproar online, but it feels like this was an especially good year for panic attacks, trolls and shouting matches. That isn't to say that some things aren't worth getting upset over, but far too often a situation can spiral out of control when every sentient lifeform with wifi gets to weigh in, and outrage begets more outrage like some horrible plague. There were people that said and did stupid things this year, and some items on this list are only needless because they never should have happened in the first place. But in most cases, it's a simple matter of people going crazy to go crazy and blowing things hopelessly out of proportion. I'll warn you now that revisiting some of this might make you angry all over again, and let me say up front that I don't mean to lecture anyone. I didn't come here to cause any trouble. I just came to do the Sarcastic/Reflective Nerd Rant Shuffle.
Clearly, we're all tired, despairing, aimless slugs disappointed that the world didn't end on December 21st because it means we still have to go to work in 2013: if some videogame designer said something sexist or we discovered a potentially unsettling detail in our favorite TV show, then it lets us take a break from the real problems of our own lives. On that uplifting note, we at Topless Robot present an aperitif, if you will, as we buckle up for the oncoming storm that will be the new year. If nothing else, I can guarantee this article will be one of the few year-end lists you'll read that won't mention a certain ubiquitous K-pop song. At all. That's a promise.
10) The "Cockamamie Coulson Controversy."
The name comes from our dear friend and former TR editor Rob Bricken, coined to describe an odd change between the US and UK releases of The Avengers Blu-ray. In the UK version, Loki's staff does not protrude quite so much through Agent Coulson's chest at a pivotal moment in the film, whereas in the American version it's definitely sticking out there. Why was this change made? It wasn't apparent until later, when...well, actually, it's still not clear, but we know it was to secure a "12" rating, since the scene was not considered appropriate otherwise. Why was that? It's not like erasing the tip really makes that much of a difference, and it clearly has had no effect on Coulson's viability for other projects, like the upcoming S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series, news that undoubtedly still has fans the world over masturbating with joy. I suppose calling this controversial is a bit of an overstatement, as there wasn't exactly any rioting in the streets over it, but it did seem unnecessary and was certainly much ado for no real reason.
9) Before Watchmen.
The outrage around this one's pretty understandable, actually, being the usual tale of writer makes comic, comic gets prequel without writer's permission, writer gets screwed and prequel gets produced anyway (for the record, the artist of Watchmen, Dave Gibbons, supports the series). Noah Berlatsky's great Slate article about the situation nicely explains why the protagonists of Watchmen (who are NOT called "The Watchmen," mainstream media) were never meant to be treated like most comic book heroes. I wish getting pissed off about this mattered more, because it does seem to be yet another example of modern media clinging to recognizable brands and forcing them into franchises, rather than come up with any challenging ideas (to be fair, I have not read the prequels) . But even Moore has washed his hands of the affair, the way he refuses to see any movies made of his work, so it would seem best to follow suit. If you don't like Before Watchmen, you're probably already doing the best thing you can do to show it by not buying any issues. On the bright side, Moore fans had the final volume of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century to calm their wounded hearts, a comic which resulted in its own needless controversy: I'm pretty willing to bet that Before Watchmen does not feature a giant covered in eyeballs and shooting lightning bolts out of his penis.
8) George W. Bush's head outed on Game of Thrones.
We live in a time where very little can be kept truly secret, as the makers of Game of Thrones learned this summer. A little aside thrown out as a bit of trivia on a season one DVD commentary quickly billowed into a hurricane of scandal once it hit the media, eventually culminating in an apology from HBO and series creators David Benioff and DBC15 Weiss. Apparently, one of the heads on a spike slightly visible alongside Ned's during the season finale was a replica of George W. Bush's, albeit facing away and adorned with a gnarly Conan the Barbarian wig. With all of the hullabaloo, no one seems to remember (or care, or believe) that the actual commentary makes it clear that this was not a conscious decision or political statement, although I can't really imagine why HBO would have spare George W. Bush heads "lying around" unless Bill Maher likes to use them for throw pillows or something. Whether or not you find this offensive, it's hard to deny how little it really has to do with Game of Thrones. It's barely in the show, you can hardly identify it when you see it, and I daresay no one would have given a shit had the creators not openly admitted to it being there. Yet this became a frightfully huge deal, so much so that the offending shots were removed from future season releases. See, even a show where people get cleaved in half and prostitutes get fucked with antlers can still shock people every once and a while. One plus to this whole situation: all those folks who had already bought the DVD's suddenly had collector's items on their hands, which will be a comfort as we approach the Fiscal Cliff.
7) "Girlfriend Mode" in Borderlands 2.
If you're a fan of sexism, you were in for a real treat this year, as many folks put their respective feet straight into their speaking orifices when it came to women's issues (and only some of them were politicians). There's more of this later down the list, but first let's examine the curious case of Mr. John Hemmingway of Gearbox games. In an interview with Eurogamer, Hemmingway, the Lead Designer of Borderlands 2, touted the more accessible skill tree being implemented in the new game's Mechromancer class as "for lack of a better term, the girlfriend skill set". In hindsight, it turns out there were probably many better terms he could have used, perhaps millions. Soon paraphrased to "girlfriend mode", this unfortunate idiom sparked waves of deep upset throughout the gaming community, with some people canceling pre-orders in disgust. It was a dumb thing to say, and it is unfortunate that there is such latent and unintentional sexism in the gaming industry and that many developers (and gamers) still think like this. All the same, there are bigger issues at work here, and the fact that this was not ever an official name or anything but just a misstatement should not be overlooked.
6) The Hunger Games' Racial Casting Outrage.
So the movie of The Hunger Games came out and people saw it and stuff. Apparently there were lots of fans who were hardcore enough to read the books but not to glance at the film's IMDB page, where certain characters that had not been, perhaps, explicitly described as being black were suddenly played by black actors, specifically the character Rue. Some people tweeted about it and said some things that were kind of racist, and voila: another scandal that could have easily been avoided. However, just like that time some tweeters didn't know the Titanic was a real boat and everyone got upset, the backlash against the initial offenses have proven almost as tiresome as the offensives themselves. A whole blog entitled Hunger Games Tweets suddenly materialized, devoting to criticizing and shaming the fools foolish enough to broadcast their foolish foolery in such a manner. Whatever. All the same, many important questions were raised: Do we really care what a few ignorant people think on Twitter, and does one tweet about such things make you categorically a racist? Will there be a time in the future when Lenny Kravitz is more widely known as Cinna than the guy who did that annoying cover of "American Woman" for that Austin Powers soundtrack? Is that time upon us already? What horrors!
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Dark Knight Rises really wasnt that great. It was ok.... Bane was cool.
also, there is no such thing as a fake geek girl. One must be a geek to dress up for cons at all.
Interrogating girls about their nerdy interests is like interrogating a guy with an Iron Maiden t-shirt about HIS fandom. Both parties might not be as knowledgeable as you on their respective subjects. Does not make them any less of a nerd.
Makes you an asshole though.
Did anyone actually read any of the Before Watchmen books? Are they at all not utterly crap?
@FabioRezende One of my friends is reading all of them and doesn't care for them that much; last we talked about it he was upset that JMS decided Dr. Manhattan used his abilities to make him team up with Laurie/SSII instead of Rorschach, giving him the ability to do whatever he wants, and Comedian outright being shown nowhere near JFK, which was semi-open and perhaps possible he killed him in the original books.
"But much like with Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jason Bateman, striking her down has only made her more powerful than you could ever imagine".--This line is golden diapers.
I have an issue with #6 being listed as 'needless' actually.
Firstly, in the books it's pretty clear that the characters are black (or at the very least non-white). Secondly, the level of vitriol and hate that was coming out, and the level of ignorance that was being slung around *needed* attention drawn to it.
That a large number of people revealed that in their minds 'sweet and innocent' were two traits that could not possibly be associated with a little black girl? Was kind of disturbing. The number of people who made that statement and threw in the N-word just to be certain we knew how upset they were? Also disturbing.
That shining a light on people for being racist jackholes, is as tiresome as the people being racist jackholes... is a pretty 'priviledged' position to take. I think you're conflating 'needless' with 'justifiable controversies that I just don't care about'.
i agree that the whole argument and controversy of number two is stupid for if a lady wants to dress up at a con that like those comic fans and star trek male fans is her right even if she is hired to do so. and still find it interesting that people got upset over bushes fake head on pike when all it did was make the dvd highly collectiable. as before watchman sadly dc had the right to do a sequel and prequel from the start and the controversy seems to have helped the thing that should have been left alone.
What joke trying to act that this site is not sexist to began with. First off the name Topless Robot and Robot Logo. Also not to mention that you are having a contest for a DVD where Nerds try to hook up with girls and have a naked girl on the cover. Also Most fan girls I know would laugh at that video. It was ment as joke and anyone with common sense know it. Almost all fan girls tend to have a good sense of humor and would laugh at it. That what makes them so fun to hang out with
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@goodwin2679 I'd suggest watching the Inbetweeners movie before writing it off as sexist (though I can understand why you wouldn't). I did say the cover of the DVD was misleading, and it is, unfortunately. That's marketing 101, and probably not the intention of the filmmakers.
Yes, the video is meant as a joke. The controversy is also a needless joke, as I think the article makes clear.
I didn't choose the name of this site, but I think it's pretty clearly a self-deprecating bit of humor. I won't claim nerd culture has no issues with sexism, but it's not my intention to gratuitously propagate it here. Nor, however, is it my intention to be so PC I offend nobody. It's a delicate balance I can't hope to maintain perfectly.
I'm really sick and tired of the fact that "geeks" or whatever you want to call yourselves assume that you're even real people. You are aware that you're all subhuman nobodies that really have nothing creative to offer to culture at large,right? I mean, you do know that you're all several steps below a fat behemoth slut housewife watching daytime tv and drinking straight from a magic shell bottle. If you aren't then the myths about your vaunted "intellect" (laughing so hard it hurts) need to be seriously analyzed by REAL people. You know, all us out there that actually can think for ourselves and live real lives. It's seriously disconcerting that you actually buy the fact that your opinions amount to anything other than a giant pile of dog crap. You're allowed to believe you're important, but there's not one shred of proof that anything you do counts. EVER. You are mere consumers that will never have any ideas of your own. You have to have them grown for you by people that spend time away from their collection of action figures and actually engage in constructive behavior. You're the absolute bottom of the barrel whiny consumers known to man. You are cattle, and think you're not. It's seriously funny!
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@disnywhite A page view is a page view is a page view, and they're all good for me. By all means, keep coming back and telling us we suck!
Being one of those douches who "calls out" fake geeks, whether they're genuine or not, is no different to being a bully or a hipster.
"Oh, so you're wearing an X-Men t-shirt? I bet you can't name all of the first generation X-Men."
Those loathsome mother fuckers is the reason why my wife stopped attending cons, since she got sick of being asked if she was only there to be with me. Mother fuckers.
@the_crazy_daisy2000 thing being that those douches would still be douches without the "fake" thing to bludgeon people with
it's irrelevant to the argument
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@Gallen_Dugall @the_crazy_daisy2000 Whatever, the fakes can stay for all I care. They're avoidable (and much less frequent than the internet makes out), and - for me anyway - not really that annoying. The douches, I can't say the same for. If I had a magic wand with only one wish, I'd wish away the douches before I'd wish away the fakes.
@the_crazy_daisy2000 @Dudley_Dawson I'm sorry but as a consolation prize I will award you the original GI Joe prototype.
@Dudley_Dawson @the_crazy_daisy2000 Uh, uh, uh pressure. Lets see, there was Spider-Man, Thor, Robert Downey Jr and Benedict Cumberbatch! :3
Did The Crazy Daisy do good? :(
@the_crazy_daisy2000 I will give you a magic wand if you can name the first generation of X-Men.
@Gallen_Dugall @the_crazy_daisy2000 Well that's your opinion, which I can respect, but I don't mind 'em. There are fakes in every culture, and, as far as I'm concerned, the sooner that's accepted the better time we'll all have. They successfully got in, congrtulations. More power to 'em.
@the_crazy_daisy2000 the fakes are less annoying and less pervasive than the douches, but they're still wrong
In the end, the reason why I didn't bring up "the fakes" at all in my OP - and said something which is irrelivent is because posers don't personally bother me. I frankly don't a rats ass about them.
I'm not denying the existence of fakes, posers and what have you. They exist in every sub culture. What I'm saying is that I don't care, and weirdly, I find them to be part of the shenanigans of con fun. And, if they're really just there for attention, hey, more power to 'em.
It's the douches who I find to be the real problem. I read a few of your posts below, so I know you think that both are the problem, which I can respect. I just know that I don't care about them, and find them to be part of the craziness.
This may be one of those "agree to disagree" kind of things, that's all.
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@DovenDeath Ugh. I don't like Sarkeesian's videos; there really is immense amounts of BS in them. Still, the extremes that some people were going to in decrying her was fucking awful and stupid.
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@mjgollschewski @DovenDeath Your not wrong, people went way out of line, but that doesn't excuse the fact that she scamed people using kickstarter, and all her videos are summed up to men are pigs, and they should be ashamed of being straight and having dicks.
@DovenDeath I never heard that this was the source, however it seems to follow. The amount of vitriol spewed at everyone who thought the subject deserved some consideration is classic Nazi debate format which basically says "My position is indefensible therefore anyone who disagrees with me is evil and should be destroyed."
The argument that no one is exploiting the nerd sub-culture is illogical (all cultures and sub-cultures have parasites) and the argument that exploiting the nerd sub-culture is a good thing is fallacious.
let me see if I can get your video set right
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHbuhoD9s9Y
@DovenDeath @Gallen_Dugall thank you for posting it
I too have a love for documentaries, and it makes some very good points about the difference between real documentaries and a lot of what is made now-a-days
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first off fuck Anita Sarkeesian. The reason most people hate her is she has never played a video game in her life yet she is the self proclaimed expert on female portrayal in videos games, lets look at that NEVER PLAYED A VIDEO GAME, IS AN EXPERT ON VIDEO GAMES. Not to metion she never goes out side of the typical feminazi argument of all men are stupid pigs instead of trying to give ideas on how to fix how women are shown in games, she just shames men for how they are shown. Also where are all those videos she was gonna make after she got 5 times amount she needed off of kickstarter, that most people on youtube would do for free? Anita Sarkeesian is a fucking scam artist who played the damsel in distress because of all those mean mean men who called her on her bull shit, and dumb asses like you ate it up. Here is video that helps describe it better than I.
I just copyed and pasted my old comment because the video wasn't working right. thanks gain Gallen for fixing it.
Great list I pretty much agree with all of it. Surprised Amazing Spider-Man 700 didn't make it though. Poor Dan Slott getting death threats over a comic book was fucking disgusting. Characters die and come back all the time in comics, Parker's not the first and he won't be the last, not to mention I think everyone can agree the real Spider-Man will be back in time for the next movie.
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Talked about the Mass Effect 3 thing on my podcast. The real disappointment was that after you've spent three games getting to care about these characters and dealing with the consequences of choices you made two games ago, you reach the end and your choices are Death, Death, or Death. And then the credits end with a nice little "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine" message about buying the DLCs.
@captaindefenestrator I don't mind people being upset. what I mind is the CONSTANT bitching any time something even tangentially related comes up. I get it, you're disappointed.. isn't it great your problems are the first world kind?
@bearfoot.fb @captaindefenestrator Honestly, I was kind of willing to just call it a sucky ending and move on, when I started getting pissed off about it was when the game journalist started acting like that if you didn't like Mass Effect 3's ending, it was because you had no imagination and didn't "get it". At that point I felt obligated to point out the emperor had no clothes. The other thing that bothered me was everybody acting like rolling out a new ending in DLC was going to be a major game changer, everybody seemed to forget that Bethesda already did it in response to the outcry over Fallout 3's ending.
@bearfoot.fb @shawnppickett @captaindefenestrator Yes and no, Bioware was at fault for putting out a substandard product, but my point, which I was not clear on, was that most of my "activism" on the topic was spent on pointing out the flaws with the product to the journalists that claimed that people just didn't get it.
@shawnppickett @bearfoot.fb @captaindefenestrator Even worse, that means your complaint wasn't even Bioware's fault.
@bearfoot.fb @captaindefenestrator Nerd problems are ALL first world problems. If we were more concerned with real-world problems, we should be on TR at all.
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The thing with Mass Effect 3, however, is that the ending did not live up to it's advertised awesomeness. We were supposed to get unique endings that took all of our choices into consideration. Instead, they just changed the color of the explosion to match our choices.
We weren't upset that the ending sucked (even though it really did) we were upset that it wasn't the ending that we were promised.
@Xaotikdesigns I was upset that the ending basically did not match the narrative that had been built up until that point, and then when they released something to "fix" their ending, they doubled down on all the problems with it. I have basically washed my hands of it.
BioWare used to be a video game company that cared about releasing an actual story to go with their games, but apparently that's no longer a consideration anymore.
@ketsuko, agreed, it's like they just didn't know what to do anymore, realized that they couldn't do what they told us they were going to do, and hastily wrote the ending(s) at the last minute.
Asking if we, the consumer, should complain about it is like asking if consumers should complain when they find that their dictionary skipped the letter Z. Of if you went to a restaurant ordered a fancy 4 course meal with an extravagant desert, only to find that when desert comes around, you just get one scoop of half melted vanilla ice cream.
Nerd news, humor and self-loathing. Edited by Luke Y. Thompson
