And having spent all these words ragging on the film, I will continue to semi-recommend it anyway. Why? Well, I happen to like big dumb action, and as long as that's all you're expecting, that is a thing that you shall receive. It's not as Michael Bay-esque as the trailers implied, and its constant reversals regarding who the real villain is are more annoying than intriguing, because it doesn't allow you a whole movie to get pissed off at one guy you want Bruce Willis to kill. Also frustrating is how the movie credits make a big deal of Cole Hauser being in it, and then he barely is. That's a guy who was born to the big bad, and he's a minor throwaway who deserves better instead.
But, but, but...car chase that trashes nearly every vehicle in Moscow. Helicopter versus two barely armed guys. Guys later hanging off of said helicopter as it circles a compound full of terrorists and nukes. Hilarious retconning of a pivotal Cold War event that will induce any history students in the audience to enter into an epic facepalm. Jai Courtney kicking ass better than expected. "Yippie kai-yay" line delivered mildly differently than you expect (but not too much). And in the right theater, the Dolby Atmos sound system whose demo trailer got the biggest applause at the screening and will make your inner ears itch.
Did I mention the movie begins with an overture on black screen, which combines police sirens with Beethoven's Ninth? Because it does.
It's just that kind of movie.