Title: The Lucifer Gambit

Bond: Clive Owen

M: Patrick Stewart

Q: Richard Ayoade

Bond Girl: Zoe Saldana

Villain: Ray Wise

The Dragon: Choi Min-sik

Theme Song by: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

PLOT: Bond is sent to Las Vegas to investigate the death of an MI6 agent who had been investigating the shady dealings of a billionaire & casino magnate (Wise), teaming up with a CIA operative (Saldana) along the way. Attending the opening of his new luxury hotel & casino, Gambito Diablo, they also discover Wise's bodyguard/assassin (Min-sik), a mostly mute, blind martial arts master with heightened senses, capable of landing killing blows (designed to be a throwback to Oddjob/Thunderball-style henchmen). Eventually, Bond discovers that the resort is a actually a cover/housing for a superweapon designed to destroy Las Vegas & have all the signs point to an act of terrorism, with Wise planning to loot several casinos of their money, then destroy Las Vegas & have his construction company ties help rebuild it; in addition, the crazed man believes that this will also help the economy out & help rebuild America. Bond is about to confront Wise for the final showdown...

...But THEN, Min-sik shoots Wise in the head.

See, in a subversion, it is revealed that Min-sik is really the Big Bad, & actually a very intelligent man to boot, having played up the whole "henchman" angle all along, as he's really a high-ranking agent for a newly-reformed SPECTRE, & the superweapon is actually designed to send out a massive EMP pulse that will not only destroy cripple a major part of the United States, but also destroy any computers in the area containing evidence leading to SPECTRE. They had, in fact, been using Wise all along.

The final battle takes place as the superweapon is about to go off (as usual), as Bond & Min-sik battle. Bond stops the weapon from going off, & escapes from the crumbling casino in time; as various parts of the casino - chips, cards, slot machines, & rubble begin to fall around Min-sik, Bond utters "Mr. Min-sik, I believe it's time for you to cash out." Min-sik's body isn't found in the rubble, however, leaving the door open for a bit of a sequel.

...Admittingly, I'm not really that big of a Bond enthusiast, so I can't say I know what the best to do with him is (hell, half that plot was taken from Dead Rising 2 for the moment), but that's my shot, hope I got it in under the wire.

Title - A Headlong Rush

Bond - Ewan MacGregor 

M - Colin Firth 

Q - Rachel Weisz 

Villain - Matthew Macfadyen

Female Lead - Zoe Telford 

Scheme - A decidedly younger and more intimate Bond experience, it's all about the assumption that protocol is a dead concept. The villain follows Cold War choices knowingly, because MI6 would never believe that someone would be so stupid to do so in the 2010s. What's better is that the villain actually works for MI6, in internal affairs--he gets people to actually confess their indiscretions/failures/criminal activity, and uses the information to cripple Her Majesty's Secret Service. This is a man who wants to be an operative, and idolizes Bond, but is not up for the job.

One-liner - There are five titles that are referenced in the movie by characters, and the last one is saved for Bond himself:

"Doctor, No!"

It's not actually signed "From Russia, with Love" is it?

"For Your Eyes Only"

"The artifact had a Golden Eye"

"What a lovely View…to a Kill" [hops over the railing]

David R Holther 949/363-3898 davidrichardholther@verizon.net 

“Bond 24”

Allow me to cast the movie in reverse order.

THE BOND GIRL

For the primary female lead, I nominate Ellen Page, who’s not only easy to look at but also whip-smart and incredibly talented. If she’s going to play, say, a nuclear physicist, you might actually believe her.

THE BOND VILLAINS

The Bond villains fall into three categories (not counting henchmen): The femme fatale (such as Sophie Marceau’s Electra King), the younger male who’s not afraid to get his hands dirty (Robert Davi’s Franz Sanchez), and the older, “gentleman” villain, who prefers to have others do his dirty work (Gert Frobe’s Auric Goldfinger, Jonathan Pryce’s Elliott Carver).

For the Bond Girl Gone Bad, I would cast Salma Hayek, who can be sexy and lethal at the same time.

For the younger villain, how about up-and-comer Mark Strong, who has played great villains in “Sherlock Holmes,” “The Guard,” “Kick Ass” and “Green Lantern”…?

For the older Gentleman Villain, nobody would be simultaneously more charming and more menacing than Ian McKellen.

Q

I think Michael Caine would be perfect as the curmudgeonly Q, chiding Bond to keep his newly issued equipment intact. (He’s already proved he can do this with Batman – thrice – so Bond is just the next step for him…)

M

For Bond’s boss and father figure, I nominate Anthony Hopkins. Anybody who can mentor both Zorro and Thor ought to be able to handle 007.

JAMES BOND 007

Now for the tricky part: Bond has been played by actors who are British, Scottish, Australian, Welsh and Irish, but unless you count the 1954 Casino Royale’s Barry Nelson or the 1967 Casino Royale’s Woody Allen – AND I DON’T – 007 has never been played by an American. I think the perfect choice would be Robert Downey Jr. He’s old enough to be believable and young enough to still do the physical stuff, he’s always charming but can also be menacing, he’s played British convincingly before (“Restoration,” the “Sherlock Holmes” films), and he knows how to handle a franchise graciously (his forays as “Iron Man”). We’ve just gotta keep him away from those shaken-not-stirred vodka martinis…

THE TITLE

As for the title of “Bond 24,” since all the original Ian Fleming titles have been used except that of his travelogue “Thrilling Cities” and his nonfiction essay on “The Diamond Smugglers” (and “Diamonds Are Forever” pretty much precludes using that latter one), here’s a new one: “The Man From Tabula Rasa”… about an organization whose agenda is leveling the playing field between the first- and third-world countries, thereby making the world a clean slate – a “tabula rasa” – from which all countries can begin again equally. Their emissary (the Bond Villain) is tasked with setting in place a network of literally thousands of small electromagnetic-pulse devices around the globe that, when triggered at the same time, will render all the world powers helpless by destroying their electronic grid. Bond must uncover the plot and stop the villain before the devices go off.

EXTRA CREDIT

Of course it will all come down to a showdown between 007 and the villain – which Bond will win by arranging for the villain to be pancaked beneath a large, flat magnet. After which Bond would quietly say, “Well, he always was a level-headed chap…”

(And no, I’m not proud of that one – but then, that’s the point of the Bond quips, isn’t it…?)

Title: The first cut bleedsTitle song by: Leona LewisBond: Sam WorthingtonM: Jim CaviezelQ: Joseph FiennesMoney Penny: Connie NielsonIsabella Maybelle Wet (I. M. Wet): Emmy RossiniKitty Smooth: Zoe Saldana(villain)Sol Aime: Joaquin PhoenixThe company Symphonic Springs has created a self sustaining energy source. Sol Aime believes it will cause the collapse of all governments with no hope of recovery. His solution is to destroy all governments and then let the energy source be the salvation to lift the survivors to a new age of progress. Bond must thwart the plan or hundreds of millions will die.Isabella hands her card to Bond the name reads I.M. Wet she says "This is for you." Bond replies "Thank you... I know im going to like you wet."Later as she leaves the room she says "Are you coming with me?"He replies "Yes... I enjoy having you around me."Kitty introduces herself "Hello James, I'm Kitty Smooth."Bond replies "I like the sound of that."

The title: "Very Truly Yours"

Bond: Idris Elba 

M: Jeremy Irons

Q: David Tennant

Bond Girl :  Zoe Saldana

Villan: Peter Dinklage

"Very Truly Yours"  - main theme sung by Beyonce

Plot: Bond must stop a plot to release a deadly virus from spreading the globe.  The only problem is hes the carrier and must get himself an antidote within 48hrs.  But and in the process also make sure he doesnt spread the next bubonic plague inadvertently.

Q: "Remember James, your carrying an extremely contagious biological weapon..."

 Bond: "I'll make sure not to transfer any....bodily fluids."

Bond: Liam Neeson, playing a retired Bond asked to return

M: Gary Oldman

Q: John Cleese (yes, again)

Villain: Christoph Waltz

Female lead: Emma Stone, Q's scientist daughter

James Bond is Johnny Bravo

M can be The Mayor of Townsville 

Q is Dexter (from Dexter's Lab)

Bond Girls Kiva from Megas XLR and Ilana from Sym Bionic Titan.

Name:

The World is out of Toon

Best Line:

His defeat was drawn out.

Title: The Stars are Yours

Bond: I want to say me, but Clive Owen's the only brit I can think of who would bring both gravitas and levity to the role 

Q: Simon Pegg

M: Liam Neeson

Female Lead (Easter Baxter): Scarlett Johansson , or any girl who looks like she may accidentally pronounce nuclear as nucular

Femme Fatale (Xio Tamara): Penelope Cruz

Villain (Dr Dernsbach): Christoph Waltz

Synopsis:

I always (blasphemously) loved Moonraker, and I feel that after the grittiness of Craig's bond, it's time to return to the far end of the scale in a crazy romp a la Roger Moore. 

The villain's scheme involves fusion reactor technology; he is attempting to generate super-dense fusion reactions in the lab (sorta like in Spider-man 2, but you know, different).  Dr Dernsbach somehow plans to use this technology to gain leverage (and money) over the world powers.

Xio Tamara (get it? ha!) is Dernsbach's liaison, as Bond poses as a potential investor in his research, despite Bond not knowing any of the lingo for investing or for fusion research.  Still manages to bed Tamara before she tries to kill him for obviously being a spy.

Bond is once again paired with a hot nuclear physicist (Easter Baxter), with a throwaway line about how previous paramour Christmas Jones has moved on to bigger and better things. 

Ultimately, Dernsbach is defeated just as he's about to activate his mechanism, as Bond pushes him into the machinery, and Dernsbach is sucked in, crushed into a singularity.  The safety mechanism then activates, which apparently causes the self-destruct sequence to initiate, so Bond and Easter must race out of the facility before it blows up.  They are picked up by the authorities while basking outside in the rays of the actual sun.

Potential One-Liners:

When tossing a henchman into a vacuum chamber, Bond will callously quip "he needed some fresh air".  Bond will use his cell phone / taser  gadget to incinerate a henchman covered in "plasma fuel", telling him "you better call for help!"  When Bond activates the villain's implosion mechanism, sucking the bad guy into the star/singularity he created: "Don't be so dense".

Bond: Clive Owen in a combo of his Sin City/Shoot em up roles

Miss Moneypenny: Sue Perkins

Q: Ben Miller. Check out his QI episode, he's got the cred. Wiki link here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Miller

The Villain: Tough one, I think I'd go with Brad Pitt from 12 Monkeys as Therapeist

Brad Pitt as a therapist who is genetically modified with Ape DNA to further his environmental activism,

All starring in The Monk Eye. Through in Hard Gay as a Henchman and Gina carano as a bond girl and we're good to go.

As for a quip. Hard Gay shouts at him to surrender, to which he replies "Nuts" and looks at the camera. Also doubles as a joke for history geeks.

"hammertongs"

taking a much more brutal take on  the bond franchise and focusing on bond BEING an assassin.

mark strong as james bond

john hurt as M 

an incredibly surly brendan gleesan as Q (giving the impression he truly HATES field agents)

kylie minogue as moneypenny (who will also provide the intro song)

the plot: a rogue chinese general ,played by chow-yun fat, has been secretly rounding up wmd's with the help of a group of disenfranchised ex-kgb led by christoph waltz. to what purpose is unclear. thus bond is sent in. to sort things out. this rougher bond has no compunction about using torture, shooting a man in the back, or poising someones food to get results.

bond finds himself going toe to toe with tony jaa, as chow-yun fats ace assassin. and scott adkins, cristoph waltz right hand man. and  of course blowing up large chunks of the ukraine in a traditional bond car. angelababy will play the bond girl

first bond film to receive an R rating 

after driving his bond car through a huge chase and eventually triggering a self destruct to escape bond says to angelababy  "remember where we parked"

Someone already did it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXf317dgP7Q

                                                       Ian Flemings James Bond 007 In...

                                                                  THUNDERPUSSY

                                                                            Staring:

                                                         Stephen Fry as James Bond 007

                                                                     Hugh Laurie as Q

                                                                     Benny Hill as M

                                                                              And

                                                        Madea as the evil Thunderpussy

    In his latest adventure 007 must enter the terrifying world of  PLUS size modeling in order to stop the deadly Thunderpussy from exterminating supermodels around the globe.

                                                       007:  Now I know how Ahab felt.

007 in You Only Move Twice.

Basically a film adaptation of the Simpson's episode...from the viewpoint of James Bond.

Ewan McGregor as Bond.

Michael Caine as M.

Matt Smith as Q.

Kate Upton as the Bond girl.

Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio

Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson.

Obviously, it would be explained early on that, for whatever reason, Scorpio pronounces Bond as "Bront."

Bond: James Purefoy, M: Maggie Smith  Q: Michael Cera, The Villain: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bond Girl: Mila Kunis. The film would be named Conquering Malice, and the plot would involve using the Occupy movement to take over London's financial district and trade gold to South Africa to fund terrorist activity, with a final showdown in post Olympics Park, where the airstrike missiles installed on apartments and department stores are revealed to be part of the plot started years ago to begin a war with China and bankrupt the nation. Quippy one liner, after shooting a cameo henchman'd Jet Li with one of said apartment missiles "Kung pow"

Bond: Jude Law  M:  Patrick Stewart  Q: Johnny Galecki  Villain: Alfred Molina  Bond Girl:  Summer Glau  Title:  Shaken, Never Stirred  Bond one-liner: (after killing henchman in lavatory)  "Well, we all have to go sometime."

BOND(Marketed as a reboot/remake of Dr. NO) - Starring:

Eddie Murphy as James Bond 007 and Eddie Murphy as M and Eddie Murphy as Q and Arsenio Hall as Miss Moneypenny with Rihanna as Katarina Lace face off against Christopher Plummer as Dr. NO and his army of terrorists led by Jet Li as General Kai as they attempt to sabotage the first civilian flight to the moon aboard Virgin Galactic.

James Bond in:

A Man to the Slaughter

M (F Murray Abraham circa 1984) sends James Bond (Gary Oldman circa 1989) undercover to spy on Nickolas Vein (Rutger Hauser circa 1982). Vein runs a private military group, ILADD, and while they have worked as allies with MI6 for years, M fears that Nickolas may try to alter their position of power with her majesties secret service.

Bond is introduced to Q (Cate Blanchett circa 2001). Q informs 007 that she will be joining him in the field on this mission. She gives James his standard firearm and a cell phone that can record, send, or erase any electronic data wirelessly in a 15foot area. The two travel to the beautiful French coast to meet Bond’s contact, CIA agent Felix Leiter (Jack Nicholson circa 1974). Much to Q’s dismay, James discovers that night that Q’s real name is Quinn. The next morning Felix brings Bond and Q onto Nickolas Vein’s ILADD fortress, a floating city that sprawls in all directions above and below the waves. Boarding the ship, 007 spots Nickolas walking the deck with his niece, the beautiful Ivory Sourire (Emma Watson circa 2014), Ivory and James’ eyes connect.

Bond calls M to tell him he has infiltrated Nickolas’ group, but M scolds 007 for contacting him so late at night and to only speak to him directly if it is an emergency or if he has Vein caught red handed. Over the following weeks, Bond sends multiple reports back to M. It seems clear that Nickolas’ private army is preparing for something big. Strangely though Bond feels as if Nickolas knows that he is a spy amongst his men, yet makes no effort to remove him. More troubling still, M makes no effort to stop Nickolas even after Bond has procured enough evidence to convict Vein in any court.

With Ivory’s help, Bond final puts the terrible pieces together. M and Nickolas Vein are working together. M plans to have Nickolas stage a terrorist attack in London. M will sacrifice 007 and hundreds more in the attack, later telling the world that 007’s heroic actions in the attack prevented the deaths of thousands more. With an unnamed terrorist group taking British lives, M will force parliament on public support to give MI6 ultimate powers in all military affairs, and after M increases his military contracts with Nickolas’ ILADD tenfold, M will be in control of the enough military might to give him more power than Queen herself.

With the attack in London beginning in a couple of hours, Bond decides to let the farce continue. With the help of Felix, 007 alter the explosives and make it appear as if he did indeed die in the explosion. And thanks to Bond, no one else died while the London skyline burns in the staged attack. Nickolas believing the plan was successful leaves to meet with M on the cliffs of Dover. Bond, in pursuit, is stopped by Q before he can confront M and Vein. Q knew Bond hadn’t been killed since the tracking device in his phone she had given him was moving much more than a dead exploded man should. Filling her in, 007 convinces Q to record his confrontation with M and Nickolas Vein so the world can know M’s treachery.

Bond arrives at the cliffs in time to see M and Vein finish their discussion and head towards their awaiting helicopter. Nickolas orders Ivory into a helicopter that’s already leaving towards the ILADD fortress off shore. As the helicopter flies away, Ivory curses the two men for killing James, the man she loved. Before the two men can get inside their own ride, Bond smashes his car into the helicopter, pushing it over the cliff. Nickolas and Bond fight while M tries to call a new helicopter from the ILADD city-ship. The helicopter with Ivory inside turns around, back towards the cliffs.

Nickolas manages to push Bond over the cliff, where 007 dangles, hanging on for his life. M and Vein get into the helicopter with Ivory. Large salty gusts of wind race up the cliff face, almost knocking Bond to his death. As the helicopter takes off, a gust of winds hits the tail of the aircraft hard, spinning it in circles. Ivory falls from the open door. Bond lets go of the rock face, jumps off towards the falling Ivory. Catching her, Bond tries to take the blunt force of the waters below, knocking him unconscious. Ivory struggles to stay afloat while holding James’ limp body. But as she slips below the wave’s surface, breathing what she thinks is her last breath, two bodies dive in the water to her rescue. Felix and Q pull James and Ivory onto Felix’s boat. Bond awakens to Q and Felix arguing if they should go after M or find help for Bond.

Bond stands up tall. “I’m merely shaken.” James grabs Q’s cell phone “What time is it? Let me call and see if M is still stirring.” 007’s cell phone starts ringing from inside the helicopter. M looks to Nickolas as he pulls Bond’s phone from his pocket. The screen flashes “Erase Data” has the helicopter’s controls start to buckle and the monitors go blank. The blades of the helicopter stops spinning and the dark vessel falls silently from the air to cold, black waters below.

Some months later, Bond slips out of bed beside and sleeping Ivory. He rushes to answer an incoming call from headquarters. “007, your country needs your help..” the familiar voice of Quinn emits from James’ screen. “Of course.” James responds. “I am hers to command, M.”

How about an all-star Star Trek TNG reunion?

007: Wil Wheaton

M: Michael Dorn

Q: Levar Burton

Jeri Ryan as "Seven Times"

Title: Dangerous Enterprises

Plot: When evil mastermind, Quincy Qweequay (Jon DeLancie) steals the blueprints for Earth's first interplanetary spaceship, it's up to Bond and co to stop the theft of the world's most valuable minerals, elements and materials necessary to build it. 

DIALOGUE:

M: "SHUT UP, 007!!"

Bond will return in...

Requiem for Tomorrow

Starring Johnny Lee Miller as Secret Agent James Bond

Rowan Atkinson as the ever resourceful M

Sir Hugh Laurie as MI6 mastermind Q

Benedict Cumberbatch as the nefarious turncoat Percy Goodweather, alias Agent Perseus!

The stunning Natalie Dormer as Lushious Victory, the woman who just might steal the world - and Bond's heart!

When Percy Goodweather, Agent 004, defects to the Russian Federation in a neutron powered prototype super-sub he leaves a whirlwind of trouble in his wake! Swept up are Secret Agent James Bond and the mysterious Naval engineer Lushious Victory. Only she has the know how to track down the subversive submersible before the unstable neutron reaction destroys the sub - or worse! Will 007 find the rogue Agent Perseus in time? Or will he be singing a... Requiem for Tomorrow?!?

"They say betrayal is bitter, but if you ask me, Victory has never tasted so sweet."

Bond: Micheal Fassbender

M: Brendan Gleeson

Q: Matt Smith

Villain: Sam Rockwell

Female Lead: Hayley Atwell

Other Girls: Kat Denning, Jaime Murray

Title: The Agent of War

Plot: Rockwell plays a former SAS sergeant who is now the head of a global PMC. Using the resources of the PMC, he is planning an assassination of the Prime Minister in order to spark a war where the services of his company would be highly sought after.

Quip: After infiltrating the PMC, Bond slips through a security sweep by tossing a flashbang into the crowd. Atwell is in communication with him via radio.

Atwell: Bond, where are you?
Bond (flashbang goes off): Be with you in a flash.

I'd cast Matthew Lewis as Bond...and take daring artistic decision to NOT write a movie "reboot" character like a sullen emo teenager in a Bildungsroman, showing off my social conscience by admonishing them for acting like a hardass while on their path to becoming a badass, and lowering the general fantastic gadget and glamorous adventure elements like a bloodletter's leech, all in the name of making it "grim and gritty" and "down to Earth"!

Screw reboot-origin stories. I want my Jonny Quest back.

I would make a James Bond movie using the cast of Superman Returns so they could do penance for making that horrible movie. It would be called "The Man of Tomorrow".

James Bond: Brandon Routh

M: Frank Langella

Q: Kal Penn

Moneypenny: Parker Posey

Female Lead: Kate Bosworth

Main Villain: Kevin Spacey

Plot: Spacey develops a serum that makes people super-humanly fast and strong. Bond has to stop him before he sells the formula to nefarious types all over the world.

One Liner after shooting a bad guy: "Guess he wasn't faster than a speeding bullet."

PERMISSION TO DIE

Bond: Tom Hardy

M: Timothy Dalton

Q: Benedict Cumberbatch

Moneypenny: Amy Adams

Female Lead: Olivia Wilde (Harmony St. Croix)

Femme Fatale(s): Christina Hendricks & Rooney Mara

Villian: Christophe Waltz (Dr. Agnus Schrect)

Car: Aston Martin DB9

Key Locations: London, Vienna, Cape Town, Kuala lumpur

Bond (Hardy) is pitted against the villainous Dr. Agnus Schrect (Waltz), a gregarious biochemist who has claimed to have perfected a fountain of youth-like serum and is peddling it to the world's richest and most powerful playboys and billionaires. Unbeknownst to them, the serum is really a paralyzing and hypnotizing agent, enabling Schrect to control the assets and power of any one he administers his treatment to. His scheme is to manufacture the serum as a gas and expose entire countries to it, ultimately amassing nations of obedient armies. Bond must pay a visit to the "good doctor" under the guise of a playboy seeking treatment and expose his plot, effectively destroying his laboratory and serum manufacturing plant. Things get complicated when Schrect's assistant, Harmony St. Croix (Wilde) falls for Bond and reveals Schrect is just an agent for the larger umbrella organization, S.P.E.C.T.R.E.

While fighting one of Schrect's goons in the manufacturing plant, Bond straps him to the conveyor belt with a chain. As the baddie gets processed through the assembly line St. Croix runs out:

St. Croix: "What happened to him?"

Bond: "He got a little tied up."

Bond - Eddie Izzard (The Riches, Mockingbird Lane, Valkyrie) . The current agent with the James Bond cover identity. Flamboyant, stylish and much sneakier than previous versions. Less jumping onto exploding trains, more poisoning bad guys and co-opting their mercenaries. Cerebral and smirking. The smartest guy in the room.

M - Graham Cole (PC Stamp from The Bill). Physical presence and amazing voice. Clearly a former agent. Not happy with Bond's methods because he can't relate to them. Fieldwork is about guns and bodycount, not out-manoeuvring and clever wordplay.

Q - Richard Ayoade (Moz from The IT Crowd). Should be obvious. The ultimate nerd plays the ultimate gadget guru.

The Girl -  Olivia Coleman (2012, Hyde Park on Hudson). Decent and honest. Well, apart from being married to the most boring man in the world and having an affair with the sexy, dangerous, smooth-talking stranger she met in a bar. She'd being led astray and loving every minute of it. Is Bond just corrupting her because he can, or does he have genuine feelings for her?

Bad Guy - Lucy Lawless (Xena, Spartacus). A former mercenary done good. Got her own squad. Takes on impossible jobs for incredible pay. Far more physically intimidating and capable than Bond. Vicious, brutal and desperate. One last job then she buys a new identity and a small island. Everything she's wanted all her life, everything she's worked for. And only one thing standing in her way: James Bond and his painted fingernails.

The Car - A London black cab. Makes it easier to get through traffic.

The Plot: Someone's planning to use the London Underground to assassinate Queen Elizabeth on St. George's Day.

The Title: "Waterloo Sunset"

The Song: Something by Emeli Sandé

NEVER SAY NEVER

Bond - Sean Bean (he's died so many times in movies, he should get the chance to be the hero for once)

M - Alan Rickman (not the villain for a change)

Q - Anthony Head 

Moneypenny - Amanda Tapping

Anthony Hopkins is Edward Never, billionaire industrialist and head of the NEVEREND corporation. For decades he has been planning a hostile takeover of the world by subtly integrating his technology into virtually every corner of life, including MI-6. He is an amoral genius.

Jason Statham is Travis, Never's bodyguard and a former MI-6 operative. He has killed two 007's in his time and is planning to make it a third when he targets Bond. 

Kate Beckinsale and Rhona Mitra are Gemini, assassins often hired by Never. They have a rivalry with Travis and both are instead seduced by Bond when they are sent to kill him.

During the climatic battle, Never tries and fails to kill Bond. Afterwards, Bond reveals just how close Never actually came and say: "Never stood a chance."

Property of a Dead Lady

Bond-Bela Lugosi

M-Edward Van Sloan

Q-Dwight Frye

For the villian:

The Uncanny-Boris Karloff

For the Female Lead:

Lady Parts-Elsa Lanchester

After the corpses of several 00's are found dismembered and missing pieces, Bond is given the task of killing SPECTRE's most fiendish assasin: The Uncanny-a man who has been killed 8 times before! Bond soon discovers that The Uncanny lives by harvesting body parts from his kills, and plans to make an undead army just like him. Can Bond carry out his mission as he falls for The Uncanny's wife, Lady Parts?

Cheesy quip: The formula keeping The Uncanny alive wears off, making his body reject all the harvested organs and limbs. The stolen body parts start to fall off The Uncanny, until his head finally comes off the torso and rolls to the feet of Bond.

The Uncanny: You...took...my...Lady Parts...from...me!
BOND: And now you ain't got no body.

Live and let Pie

Tagline: Rising to the occasion. It's the yeast he can do.

Jamie Oliver as Bond

Kelly Choi as Cookie Do

Gordon Ramsay as M

Wolfgang Puck as General Francisco Stromboli

Alton Brown as Q (Yeah he's not British but he won a James Beard award and... Close enough)

General Stromboli is planning to unleash a weapon which, when fired, will cause every soufflé to fall. And just in time for the British soufflé awards. Pure evil. There's only one man who can stop him.

Bond: (After beating a minion to death with a leg of beef) "It was nice to meat you."

Bond: (Before activating the explosives smuggled into the enemy lair in a birthday pie) "Let them eat cake."

Bond: Michael Fassbender, 1/2 Brit(Northern Ireland), good actor action star and he can probably use the gagets. 

M: I think Sean Connery, he;s the original and best bond I think He could come back and fight with Fassbender with lots of laughs and inside joke sto the fans of the classic Bond films.

Q: Alan Tudyk, he can do a great british accent( death at a funeral), quirky, and Awesome. 

Villain, Phillip Seymour Hoffmen, Great intelectual and reminds me of Goldfinger. Vinnie Jones as his muscle. 

Bond Chick, Amy Adams cause redheads are hot, and she can pull off elegant/sexy which is whats is necessary for a bond girl. 

The British and US are underattack from the inside and out  and all fingers are pointing to the chinese. meanwhile PSH is leading a conspiracy to driving the East and West to WWIII.  Military leaders on both side of the conflict are being manipulated by greed and PSH is using this to his own ends and plans on World DOMINATION.

I know they already did this one in Tomorrow Never Dies but the economic situation today makes it more believable. 

Title: East of Mourning

Cheesy one liner(after watching someone get decapitated, to the Girl), 'We musn't loose our heads'.

I expect to be hated and reviled for this, but let's give it a shot...

Bond: Wade Barrett, because he's British.

M: Vickie Guerrero, even though she's not British.

Q: William Regal, because the look of disgust he'd give Bond as he futzes around with the new equipment would be priceless, and so easily worth the cost of admission alone.

Moneypenny: Layla, because again, British. Two out of three isn't bad, right?

Primary female lead: Kaitlyn.

Villains: The Doctor and his companion at the time*, who aren't really villains at all, but have actually executed an elaborate plot to find Bond and inform him that he, too, is a Time Lord, hence the constant changes in form, including his most recent regeneration that looks like Wade Barrett.

Actually, if the companion was female, I'd make her the female lead.

Then they take off in the TARDIS to face the Daleks, ending on a cliffhanger.

I guess the title would be "You Only Slam Twice," though that's subject to change if I can find a way to combine the titles "Doctor Who" and "Dr. No." The best I've got so far is "Doctor Who Nos" (who knows), but I guess without Dr. No, that wouldn't work so well.

That just leaves the one-liner. "You say you're a doctor? Well, that's convenient, because you'll be needing one when we're through here."

Other thoughts: Would Vince McMahon leading the Daleks against the human race to create the biggest battle royal ever be too over the top? "It was me, Bond! It was me all along!"

One of the Daleks would wind up being Hornswoggle, of course.

Also, I'm imagining Bond's car being reconfigured so it can travel through time and space, and being much bigger on the inside. Imagine it leaving skid marks in the air like the Winnebago in Space Balls.

* It would try to be adjusted to match the most recent incarnation, of course.

BOND: Tom Hardy  (The  problems with the Bane voice aside, he has a commanding presence and just looks like an amoral killer)
M:  Gillian Anderson (Picture it – Anderson looking over the top edge of her glasses at Bond, communicating what a dumb shit he is without saying a word)
Q:  Hugh Laurie (Tell me you can’t wait to have Laurie lecture Bond about the care and cleaning of his equipment)
Moneypenny: Dakota Blue Richards (We need a wacky Moneypenny)

Film Title:  Chronos

MI6 faces the most mysterious and dangerous organization in its history.  With seemingly perfect intelligence gathering resources, agents from Chronos regularly seem to anticipate, to the very second, what Bond will do.  Their headquarters is amorphous, unlocatable.  Their plan, nothing less than the rebuilding of the planet itself into an image more to their liking.

Bond’s fight in the field is against operatives played by Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, and Matt Smith.

But, in the background, in the shadows, controlling, directing, building the machinery necessary to complete their scheme are the directors of Chronos.  Played by:  William Hartnell,  Patrick Troughton,  Jon Pertwee,  Tom Baker,  Peter Davison,  Colin Baker,  Sylvester McCoy and Paul McGann.

After Eon Productions loses the rights to the Bond franchise due to staggering mismanagement and subsequent bankruptcy, CBS obtains the rights to the James Bond franchise. Hoping to erase the memories of the abysmal version of CASINO ROYALE the network prepared in the 1950s, CBS produces a made-for-TV movie that they hope will act as a backdoor pilot for an ongoing Bond series.

Titled YOU’LL NEVER LIVE TWICE AGAIN, the movie features a veritable “Who’s Who” of current and former CBS stars, produced by the team who developed “Elementary.” Mirroring their treatment of the Watson character, the film “reinvents” Bond as a female agent. KAT DENNINGS plays Agent 007, Jane Bond. Following orders from M (WILLIAM SHATNER) and supported by staffers like hacker Eve Moneypenny (GRACE PARK) and the awkwardly asexual gadget guy Q (JIM PARSONS), Jane must face off against her ex-partner (and ex-lover) Kane Horatio (DAVID CARUSO). When Horatio and his cadre of ex-00 agents infect every member of every intelligence agency on the planet with a deadly virus in an attempt to corner the market on espionage, Jane is forced to team up with SPECTRE agent Samantha Yorick (PAULEY PERRETTE) to track down Horatio, find the antidote, and save the day. 

CHEESY ONE-LINER

JANE BOND: (After watching Kane Horatio fall to his death) Alas, poor Horatio…(removes sunglasses) I knew him, Yorick. Intimately.

(NB: Since this is a CBS production, the entire movie will be underscored by a laugh track. The opening song, “You’ll Never Live Twice Again (Jane’s Song)” will performed by John Mayer. All of the “sexy Bond Girl silhouettes” used in the opening credit animation will of course adhere to CBS’s “no female breast nipples” wardrobe guidelines from the Grammys. No one under 50 will like the movie, but it will inexplicably spawn an 11-season TV series, with successful spinoffs for Parsons and Park.)

I say go with the most logical reboot decision:

Michael Fassbender is Ian Fleming's James Bond in...

Fool Me Once and Die

Also starring...

Idris Elba as M

John Hurt as Q

Emma Watson as Vanessa Loveridge

Jason Isaacs as Vernard Klein

"Fool Me Once and Die" written and performed by Jack White ft. Paul McCartney

Vernard Klein is a German mercenary and arms dealer believed to be responsible for the detonation of five hydrogen bombs placed within British, French, American, North Korean, and Russian military bases. His motivation is unknown, which is why MI-6 sends in their most decorated operative, James Bond, to investigate. Chasing Klein across Europe, from Scotland, to Moscow, to Hamburg, Bond, and his new handler, Vanessa Loveridge, always seems one step behind. Culminating in a climactic showdown on a bridge in Hamburg, Loveridge reveals herself to be a double-agent on Klein's payroll. Before falling to her death, she reveals that Klein's plan is to frame each country for the bombings of one another, throwing the world into World War III so he can profit from the increased sales in weaponry. Bond chases Klein to MI-6 HQ, where the final bomb will be detonated by Klein's men disguised as Russian troops. The final thirty minutes plays out like Die Hard meets Downton Abbey. Bond and Klein engage in a brutal hand-to-hand fight in M's office, ending when Bond stabs Klein in the eye with an incendiary dart (provided by Q earlier in the film) and kicking him out of the window as he bursts into flames. Bond quips "Perhaps he should have taken the red-eye." The film ends with a news report exposing Klein's plot to the world, interspersed with shots of Bond standing over the graves of his fallen comrades, and shots of Bond opening a letter from his physician. It is revealed that Bond is dying from a nondescript illness.

Roll credits.

James Bond will return in "Whatever Will Be Will Die"

Bond: Christian Bale

M: Michael Caine

Q: Morgan Freeman

The villian: Tom Hardy.

Female lead: Anne Hataway

Title: The Dark knight Rises

One liner: I'm Batman!

Might as well give the bond franchise to J. J. Abrams too...or maybe Joss Whedon? nope nope nope

Mel Brooks presents James Bond in The World is most likely enough

Bond: will be played by Dave Chappelle (A Black sheriff?   It worked in blazing saddles!)

M: will be played by Cloris Leachman enough said

Q: - Cue (as in taking an acting cue) will be played by Mel Brooks the "Producer" of new tech toys

The Bond Girl :  Helena Bonham Carter as a funeral director by day and underground night club by night

The Villain :  called the King as played by Max Brooks where he is a scientist creating a Drug that turns people into mindless zombies

The King is trying to make people be viewed as dead so as to create an army of workers on a mine. He uses HBC's funeral parlor as a front so that people can truly believe that their family or friend is dead. Bond ends up infiltrating her night club as a DJ where she asks if it's true about a black persons ability to spin more then just vinyl. The screen turns black as she says it's true it's true. In the final fight between Bond and the King, the King shows Bond that he has drugged Cue, HBC, M, Charlie Murphy, Sid Caesar, Cary Elwes, and LYT. Bond's line "Damn, I guess it's good to be the King!"

Maybe I shouldn't have just watched 4 Mel Brooks movies, they are just so timeless!

The best way to reboot the franchise is to bring this to the Great White North.So here is an all Canadian reboot:

James Bond:Ryan Reynolds.He proved he can do the serious action with Safe House and he can do the jokey action when he was Deadpool in Wolverine Origins.

M:Christopher Plummer.He is stoic and wise.He would give some much added cache to the cast.

Q:Dan Aykroyd.Q was always a smart character but good with the quips and one-liners, something that Dan can bring to the table.

Female Lead:Ellen Page as Jenny Hortons.She proved she can run with the big boys in Inception when it comes to grand scale action movies plus she can be physical in movies like Whip It! And X Men.

The Villain:Kiefer Sutherland as Colonel Charles Trudeau.I don’t think he has played a villain since being in The Lost Boys; it would be nice to see him play a rough, psycho villain that could go toe to toe with Ryan Reynolds in the action department.

Northern Lights

Colonel Charles Trudeau is a dishonorably discharged Army Colonel.He was released due to his behaviour while on a mission in the Russia.Following the events, the Colonel fell silent and began an underground army that would topple the Canadian government and sell off the country to the US, Russia and China.The Canadian Security Intelligence Service looks to James Bond to bring down Colonel Trudeau and his army.Jenny Hortons is Colonel Trudeau’s former fiancée that could help Bond but will she betray her former love?

Sample Line:During a fight sequence inside a restaurant upon dispatching a henchman by drowning him in some donut batter, “I don’t think there was a crueller way to go.”

Michael Bay Writes the new Bond flick. Like normal he will keep to his guns.

Bond: will be a toss up between Will Smith or Shia LaBeouf or Bruce Willis

M: will be played by Jeff Goldblum or Ben Afflack or Billy Bob Thornton

Q: will be played by Some dumb blonde in a bikini that can't walk a straight line and chew gum at the same time, but is suppose to be a super scientist. or Megan Fox

Plot: There is no plot. He blow things up for 2 and a half hours, while Bond shoots or hits "Bad Guys".

Title: BOMD  "Bond and Bomb combined"

Catch Phrase: Well who is playing Bond?  

If it's Will Smith? AAWWWWHHHH HELL NOOOO Chap!!!

If it's Shia LaBeouf? It will be, Dad I don't want a BMW, I want that cool Aston Martin!

If it's Bruce Willis? No one will know cause he will be dead before the end of the movie . . CHAP!