Join us below in the comments section for live discussion or, if you're reading this later, see how we reacted in real-time. (If you can't get the show on TV, here's at least one apparent live-stream)
Want to make it a drinking game? Here are your triggers:
-"Magic" (as in "The magic of the movies" or "They make the magic happen").
-"I'd like to thank the Academy."
-Any reference to the troops that sounds like forced bipartisanship.
-"For ____ years now..."
-During the death reel, someone truly iconic gets less applause than somebody who was famous more recently.
-Seth MacFarlane does the voice of one of his TV characters and nobody cares.
-Anne Hathaway mentions James Franco or Hugh Jackman.
-Anybody from the real-life Argo incident comes onstage.
-There's a tribute/reel to something completely irrelevant to this year's nominated movies (except the death reel and the Bond tribute; those are drinking-optional).
-Forced banter is obviously scripted.
-A previous winner comes onstage to kiss the ass of one of the current crop.
-There's a Pepsi or fast food commercial.
-There's a movie trailer for something that will never, ever be nominated (except maybe for effects).
-If Snow White and the Huntsman wins anything, finish your drink immediately and punch the wall. (Topless Robot is not responsible for injuries sustained while doing this)